Josephine September 2013

Josephine magazine celebrates 10 years of publication

Josephine St. Joseph’s women’s magazine

Going vintage with style

September 2013

It’s time to get back into the school groove, and we’ve got some tips to help The best things you can do for your health right now Camping on the cheap The right way to wash your face

The Lucky Tiger shows us the way

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Randy Reed Chevrolet

Corporate Fleet & Lease Return Center 3921 Frederick Ave. St. Joseph

(816) 232-7704 www.randyreedchevy.com F3935, F3933 Plus $199. Administrative Fee.

ŠE. Christopher 2013

editorial: (816) 271-8594 toll-free: (800) 779-6397 advertising: (816) 271-8527 fax: (816) 271-8686 josephine@ newspressnow.com

Our staff Editor Jess DeHaven jess.dehaven@newspressnow.com Presentation editor Paul Branson paul.branson@newspressnow.com Photo editor Todd Weddle todd.weddle@newspressnow.com Designer George Stanton george.stanton@newspressnow.com

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Josephine website:

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Josephine September 2003

News-Press A publication of the St. Joseph

I n t e r e s t s fo r wo m e n

Pets & their people What your pet preference says about you d’ ‘Flushtere remodeling the realities of your bathroom

’Tis the season?

shopping ahead for the holidays

run On the make for weekend fun fall getaways

Battling bullies

teach your children how to win the

war

Every Month

• Meal Time • Quick Fix • What’s your answer? (Tote contest) • Chick Picks • Singletons • Expert Opinions

The cover of the first Josephine.

inside Fall back into vintage fashions Pair old with the new for a unique autumn look

14

A weighty goal Nursing instructor teaches through lifelong love of music

22

Do it for yourself Changes women can make to improve their health

27

Face wash facts What to use, when

28

girlstuff Not-so-healthy foods

5

Planning a great party

6

Relationship red flags

10

Perfect sole-mates

10

Sait Serkan Gurbuz | St. Joseph News- Press

Camping on a budget 11

cover girl

Get back, better

A lot has changed for Megan Weigler since she appeared on our first Josephine cover 10 years ago. Her last name then was Boysdton.

She’s been married to Noah Weigler for eight years now, and the couple have two children, Preslie and Phoenix.

“My life now is not completely what I envisioned, but it’s way better than I could have possibly imagined,” she says.

Weigler decided to be a stay-at-home mom when she had her daughter. She volunteers at St. Joseph Christian, where Preslie goes to school and where Phoenix will go to school. She also serves as the women’s ministry leader at Turning Point of the Nazarene Church. Weigler says she really enjoys volunteering and imagines she’ll be doing the same thing 10 years from now.

See more of Weigler in vintage clothes from The Lucky Tiger on page 14.

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| Josephine magazine |

September 2013

12

the regulars Editor’s note

4

Two guys and a question

7

Josephine calendar

7

We’re loving it

8

Average Joe

28

Getting Real

29

Meal time

30

3

editor’s note PROTECT WHAT MATTERS MOST

By JESS DEHAVEN This month marks a special milestone for Josephine. We’ve been publishing this magazine for 10 years. We’ve loved getting the chance to share so many stories on the great ladies in our community, the issues that are important to women and those things that just make our lives fun.

We look forward to continuing to bring you all that and more for years to come.

During the past several months, we’ve made some changes to the look and format of Josephine in preparation for our 10th birthday. We’ve added a number of smaller features to our lineup and a few new elements to our pages. What hasn’t changed is our commitment to local content — our stories are written by people familiar with our community and include sources from our region. We’re always open to your thoughts and ideas for features, so feel free to send e-mails to josephine@news pressnow.com to let us know what’s on your mind.

And don’t forget to mark your calendars for two upcoming events. The annual Josephine Expo is Oct. 5 at Civic Arena, and for the second year, we’ll also be hosting a VIP party on Oct. 3 to kick off the bigger event.

Expo tickets, which will be going on sale soon, will be $5 each, and kids 12 and under are free. Tickets will be available at Hy-Vee and the News-Press; watch for $1-off coupons on advance ticket purchases in the News-Press. The VIP party will be held at the Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art from 5 to 7 p.m. Oct. 3 Advance tickets will be $25 each or $30 at the door.

A portion of the proceeds will benefit Cinderella’s Closet. VIP tickets will be available at Hy-Vee, the Albrecht-Kemper and the News-Press and also at www. npgco.com/events.

Check next month’s issue for all the details.

The Now and Forever Life Insurance Package combines term and whole life coverages.

Call for a free, no-obligation Life Insurance Needs Analysis.

Rick Hopp Agency 3201 Ashland Ave. Ste. E (816) 364-1798 rickhopp.com

Matt Thrasher Agency, Inc. 301 Illinois Ave. (816) 238-1121 mattthrasher.com

Tom C. Lemmon, Agent 2524 Saint Joseph Ave. (816) 279-2606 tlemmon@amfam.com

Scott Wineinger Agency 1805 Oak Ridge Circle (816) 233-5659 scottwineinger.com

Dave R. Price, Agent 910 N. Woodbine Rd. (816) 233-5632 davepriceagency.com

Carolyn Sampson Agency 6120 King Hill Ave. (816) 238-5201 csampsoninsurance.com

Lee Butler Agency 2721 Pembroke Ln. (816) 279-7770 leebutleragency.com

Chuck Thorburn Agency, Inc.

125 S. 5th St. Savannah, MO (816) 324-3939

chuckthorbrunagency.com

All your protection under one roof® amfam.com 1-800-MY AMFAM (692-6326)

American Family Insurance Company; American Family Life Insurance Company; American Family Mutual Insurance Company; American Standard Insurance Company of Ohio; American Standard Insurance Company of Wisconsin 6000 American Parkway, Madison WI 53783 003769 Rev. 04/13

Cari Rich, Agent 102 E. Clay Ave. Plattsburg, Missouri (816) 539-3751 caririch.com

Stephen D. Lorenz, Agent 1109 N. 26th St. (816) 901-9200 stephendlorenz.com

girlstuff Secret drawbacks to ‘health’ foods

By BROOKE WILSON Josephine magazine

The next time you pick up a bag of whole-grain pretzels or a container of yogurt with natural fruit flavors, take a look at the label before putting it in your cart.

Though most people make honest attempts at including healthy foods in their diets, many foods that seem healthy on the surface are masking hidden sugar, salt, fat and calories. Sarah Wood, a registered dietitian with Heartland Wellness

Connections, shares some of her insights about how to make smart diet decisions.

“A lot of foods in our diets have what I call a ‘health halo,’” Ms. Wood says.

She says this means many foods are surrounded by buzz words like “light,” “all natural,” “organic,” “whole grain,” “gluten free,” “fat free” and more. However, shoppers are conditioned to pay attention to these words more than the actual nutritional content of what they’re eating.

For example, a package of cookies could say “low fat” on the cover, but that means Please see PAGE 6

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girlstuff

The secret drawbacks of ‘healthy’ foods CONTINUED FROM page 5 what it lacks in fat is made up for in added sugar. Plus, cookies have little to no nutritional value in the first place.

Other culprits include bagels, muffins, smoothies, potato chips and sub sandwiches. Ms. Wood says many clients believe they are making a healthy choice when they eat a tuna salad sandwich at Subway, but they don’t realize how much mayonnaise and fat they’re consuming.

Something to be wary of in particular is anything claiming to be “natural” or “all natural.”

“Natural really doesn’t have any regulation or definition behind it,” Ms. Wood says.

Therefore, a bag of natural potato chips is simply a bag of potato slices deep fried in oil and covered in salt.

The best way to avoid making diet mistakes by eating secretly unhealthy foods is to pay more attention to the nutrition facts and ingredients list on the label.

“Just to be more informed. ... I think there’s a lot of confusion, and people don’t really know what exactly to look for on labels,” Ms. Wood says.

If a food claims to be made with real fruit or vegetables, see how far down the ingredient list the actual fruits and veggies reside. The farther down the list it is, the worse it is for you. Anything made with whole foods that has few ingredients is better because there are less fillers, preservatives or chemicals in it.

And at the end of the day, Ms. Wood says if you’re craving something sweet and fruity, it’s best to just eat a piece of fruit.

It’s all about her Keep guest of honor in mind when planning bachelorette parties Wedding season is in full swing, and while we all look forward to celebrating the big day, some of the most thoughtful parties can happen in the weeks prior. One of those is the infamous bachelorette party, which can range from anything — from a raunchy masquerade to a classy, more formal affair.

It’s the bride’s day St. Joseph resident Nicole Beck, who recently threw a party for her little sister, Brooke, said it’s important for party planners to keep the guest of honor in mind when planning the event. The first thing she and her sister did was sit down and determine the party’s taste-level.

“You don’t want to throw some ridiculously raunchy party if that’s not what she’s wanting, if she’s a more low-key type person,” Beck says.

Tips provided by Bridal Guide go a step further and advise planners to incorporate the bride’s interest in the party. Is she a wine lover? Try to schedule a wine tasting or a tour of a winery. If she’s a fitness buff, consider booking a group pole dancing or stripper fitness class.

Beck says it’s also important during party planning to be sure the bride has something that makes her stand out while the group is in public. For Brooke, it was a tiara, veil and sash. Others have considered wearing matching clothes or getting T-shirts made.

“I think it’s definitely important that she is the focus and she is recognized,” she says.

Plan ahead More than likely, your bride’s schedule is getting jam-packed preparing for her big day. And so are her maids’ — it’s probably not their only wedding to attend for the year.

Beck, a travel agent by trade, recommends getting organized. Make reservations ahead of time so friends and family can get the date on their calendars.

Reservations include anything from the activity, dinner, drinks or lodging. Most important, make sure transportation is arranged if drinks will be involved — your bride and all of those important to her want to be there on her big day.

Have fun!

Lastly, make sure enough is planned that everyone involved is having fun. Bridal Guide recommends planning icebreakers if different friend groups are coming together. These games might be awkward, but they should help ease the barriers and get everyone smiling and laughing.

Beck recommends planning some sort of bridal-themed game as well. For Brooke, she created a trivia game with questions about the bride and her groom that everyone got to play.

And include some party favors for the girls. They don’t have to be a lot, but Bridal Guide says it’s a nice gesture, especially for those who traveled far to be a part of the festivities.

—Kim Norvell | Josephine magazine

6

September 2013

| Josephine magazine |

newspressnow.com/josephine

girlstuff The Josephine calendar

September

2013

Every Monday

9:45 a.m. (weigh-in at 8:30), TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) a non-profit, weight-loss support and education group, East Hills Church of Christ, 3912 Penn St., 244-7187.

Two guys and a question Two male members from our newsroom answer a question, one from the fresher end of the dating pool, one a bit more seasoned.

Hopefully one of them will know what he’s talking about.

The question:

How do you handle conflict in a relationship?

5:15 p.m. to 6 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

Every Tuesday 7:30 p.m. to 8:15 p.m. Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

Sean Hagewood

Alonzo Weston Don’t let any conflict go unresolved. Deal with a problem as soon as it arises, while it’s still fresh. If you allow it to lay around too long, resentment sets in. When the problem gets brought up again it will probably be when you least expect it and in the most undesirable of circumstances, like at the family picnic. Everyone will know your business.

You just don’t want conflicts to pile up from not being dealt with. You stuff them away in the closet and one day you open the door and all the past arguments, disagreements come tumbling out right on your head. You’ll be so overwhelmed you won’t remember what they all were about. But your woman sure will.

And when you find yourself in the throes of an argument, show some passion. If you appear too calm, your mate will think you don’t care enough about the problem or the relationship.

Deal with any conflict right away and move on.

7 a.m., Farmer’s market, East Hills Shopping Center parking lot off Woodbine.

How do you find that middle ground between being a doormat and igniting World War III every time there’s a minor disagreement? Here are a few things I’ve learned, both through my own experiences and others’.

■ Don’t ignore issues you’re having in hopes that they’ll magically disappear. They rarely do.

■ Be sincere. All successful relationships are built on honesty.

■ Don’t try to resolve issues via text messages, e-mail, chat programs, etc. Face-to-face interaction is much more meaningful and results in less misinterpretation.

■ Try to avoid bringing alcohol into the equation.

■ Keep your fights as clean as possible. Calmly discuss the issue at hand and avoid bringing up irrelevant things from the past.

■ Pick your battles and be willing to compromise. Also, don’t keep track of wins and losses. That’s a recipe for disaster.

■ Forgive and move on. If you find yourself struggling with this, it might be a sign of more serious problems.

■ Finally, if all else fails, reach a logical stopping point in the conversation and go to bed. It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep can do for your mood.

Good luck, people. I’m rootin’ for ya.

Please see PAGE 9

Sean is the online editor for newspressnow.com. He is 29 and single.

Sept. 17 6:30 p.m., Pony Express Chapter of ABWA meeting.

To find out more and to make reservations, please call Vickie at (816) 244-5648 the Friday before the meeting.

Sept. 24 10 a.m., Welcome Wagon Social Club of St. Joseph, general meeting, Rolling Hills Library, 1904 N. Belt Highway. For additional information, go to www.stjomowelcomewagon.com.

7 p.m., Introductory session to Creighton Model Fertility Awareness and Appreciation, Heartland Medical Plaza. Course is designed to help couples cooperate with their fertility in family planning. Call 232-2258.

Every Wednesday

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| Josephine magazine |

Alonzo covers education for the News-Press and writes the Average Joe column in Josephine. He is 59, and he and his wife, Deanna, have been together for 33 years.

September 2013

7

We’re loving it A look at what Josephine staffers are crazy about this month

“Orange is the New Black”

I just fi nished the Netfl ix original series “Orange is the New Black,” which is about one woman’s year in a women’s prison in upstate New York. Based on a true story, Piper Chapman fi nds herself in the federal correctional facility after pleading guilty to a crime she committed 10 years ago. The episodes follow her experience, as well as those of the other inmates, as she navigates the sometimes hilarious situations while incarcerated.

The cast and crew just began fi lming its second season, set to air in 2014.

Phone apps for shopping

NutriBullet

— Kim Norvell

Sabra Roasted Red Pepper Hummus

I’m a pretty big hummus fanatic. This creamy Mediterranean chickpea spread has been a staple of my diet since freshman year of college. I’ve eaten a lot of different brands and varieties over the years, but there’s no doubt in my mind that one trumps them all. Sabra Roasted Red Pepper Hummus is the version I always come back to when I want a consistently delicious snack. It never lets me down. It’s available at most grocery retailers.

— Brooke Wilson

I don’t make a habit of watching infomercials, but I’m glad I happened to come across one on the NutriBullet. This “superfood nutrition extractor,” as it’s marketed, is sold by the makers of the Magic Bullet but is larger and more powerful — meaning it easily turns fruits and vegetables into a smoothie-like consistency. And supposedly, consuming them in this form makes it easier for the body to absorb their nutrients (At the very least, it’s an easier way to eat your broccoli). I haven’t yet tested all its abilities, but the NutriBullet is also supposed to be able to mill grain.

Compared to similar products such as grain mills or juicers, it’s extremely affordable — only about $100 for the appliance as well as three blender cups.

When I go shopping, two phone apps are absolutely essential: Shopping List (by UAB Target Works) and RetailMeNot. I have found Shopping List to be so much better than pen and paper because, since it’s on my phone, it is essentially with me at all times. This allows me to add items to the list as soon as I think of them, and it’s at hand whenever I decide to drop by the store. A friend recently told me about the RetailMeNot app, and it has saved me a good chunk of money with online codes and in-store coupons for just about every business and product. Also of note: They were both free.

— Kelsey Saythany

eos Lip Balm Lately I’ve been a fan of eos lip balm.

It’s almost 100 percent organic and paraben and petrolatum free (no extra preservatives and such). I love it because it’s all-natural and doesn’t leave a weird residue behind like a lot of other Chapstick products. I bought mine from CVS, but I’ve also noticed it at Target, Hy-Vee and Walmart.

— Erin Wisdom

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September 2013

| Josephine magazine |

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— Emily Gummelt

girlstuff The Josephine calendar CONTINUED FROM page 7

7:30 a.m., St. Joseph BNI weekly meeting, Pony Express Museum. Call 262-9684.

5:15 to 6 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

Every Thursday 10:30 a.m., 3 p.m., 4:30 p.m. and 6 p.m., knitting classes, Keeping Good Company, $20 for four weeks, call 364-4799.

6:45 to 7:30 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

Sept. 12 9:30 a.m., St. Joseph Garden Club, program on fall harvest by Sherrie Donaldson, Leupold Greenhouse & Orchard, Joyce Raye Patterson Senior Citizens Center. Visitors welcome. For information, call 232-9151.

Sept. 19 5:30 p.m., Third Thursday Wine Tasting, Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art. Cost is $10 per person. Call 232-9750.

Every Friday 5 to 8 p.m., Friday Night Wine Tastings, Smooth Endings Fine Wines, Spirits and Cigars, corner of Belt and Beck, (816) 749-4WINE, $5 per person.

Every Saturday 7 a.m., Farmer’s market, East Hills Shopping Center parking lot off Woodbine.

9 to 9:45 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.

Sept. 21 9:30 a.m., third annual Southside Fall Festival 5K run/walk. Pre-register at www.enter2run.com/ or at Performance Plus Rehabilitation Center. Proceeds benefit Benton High School Scholarship Fund. Call 232-5113 for information.

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girlstuff

Red flags

Watch out for these relationship enders “No relationship is stress free. Even the best of the best of the best don’t go through life without snags or lulls or even something tragic,” says Cindy Whitmer, executive director of All Faith Counseling Center in Atchison, Kan. She says the most common indicator she sees in a floundering romantic relationship is major changes in the bedroom. A partner loses interest in kissing, cuddling and other forms of sexual activity and intimacy without a clear explanation.

Occasionally this could be due to an affair outside the relationship, but Whitmer believes this is often a result of more serious underlying problems. She says affairs are sometimes even seen as a symptom of an already rocky relationship in which a person is searching for something he or she isn’t receiving from a significant other.

Another red flag is “more tension, more arguments or more silence in the communication realm,” Ms. Whitmer says. The breakdown of communication can be poisonous to a relationship because the unwillingness to confront a problem just causes bad feelings to stew.

“It’s very important to honestly address issues you’re concerned about with another person. How they respond ... can tell you a lot about how it’s going to be in the long haul,” she says.

During fights, some people tend to pull the “divorce card” and threaten to leave or break up if something doesn’t change. This is an indicator that separation could be on the horizon if measures aren’t taken to improve the situation “They’re testing that thought by throwing it out there in the middle of an argument. Couples say those drastic things often when they are getting desperate,” Ms. Whitmer says.

If a couple has children, it’s best to think about how separation would affect everyone involved before making a decision.

“What’s best for you is what’s best for them.

If you cannot be a fully functional parent you know you’re capable of being (when you’re with your spouse) ... then it’s probably better to separate. Take a few months and see if it feels more workable, more peaceable,” Ms. Whitmer says.

Sometimes it’s hard for a couple to distinguish between a temporary bout of frustration and a more lingering sense that the relationship is on the rocks. A particularly bad week with more fighting or less intimacy could be troubling, but openly communicating with your partner can help ease worries and solve issues you’ve been having. Seeking out a pastor, counselor or friend also can provide additional support.

— Brooke Wilson | Josephine magazine

10

September 2013

Find your perfect sole-mate Yeah, we said that Women know how to find shoes that best complete their look every day, but choosing the right footwear goes beyond fashion. Even more important is what shoes we pair with our workouts.

One big mistake active women make is digging around in their closets for any old pair of athletic shoes before hitting the gym or taking a walk. Most workout shoes are made for specific fitness activities and feet types. Different exercise routines require different actions from your feet, so it’s important to have a shoe designed to lessen wear and tear on the foot as it performs each workout’s unique demands.

“Your feet, like the foundation of a home, are the foundation of your body’s structure,” says Brenda Bauman, physical therapist assistant/certified athletic trainer at Heartland Outpatient Therapy at Midwest. Failing to take care of your feet can lead to a chain reaction of problems to the rest of your body, such as knee and back pain, she says.

Of course, every foot is unique, but here are some general guidelines for which shoes work best for a few common workouts: Walking/running This depends on your foot type, says Casey Brockman, footwear lead at Dick’s Sporting Goods. Stability shoes, which are firmer on one side to keep the foot from rolling inward, are best for women who have flat feet or low arches; neutral shoes work for those with normal arches (Try Asics women’s GEL-Exalt [stability] or adidas women’s adiZero Sonic 4 [neutral] for running; New Balance 1765 [stability] or New Balance 840 [neutral] for walking) Gym groups For those whose preferred routine involves fitness classes such as Zumba or kickboxing, training shoes are best, says Brockman.

They have a special tread for added traction and are more flexible, which helps exercisers perform the quick movements these activities demand.(Try New Balance 867) Biking Brockman recommends using an indoor soccer shoe, which has a flat bottom that won’t get caught in the pedal. (Try adidas F5 women’s indoor soccer shoe or Nike women’s Mercurial Victory IV IC) A little bit of everything For those involved in multiple types of workouts, Brockman suggests using a stability shoe to provide comfort and support for every type of workout your feet take you through.

—Kelsey Saythany | Josephine magazine

| Josephine magazine |

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girlstuff

Camping on a budget Fall is the perfect season to take your family or friends on a camping trip. Campgrounds at state parks, national parks, national or state forests and other public recreation areas make great destinations, but believe it or not, some of their campsites can cost nearly as much as motel rooms.

If you have the itch for a camping trip, here are some tips to make your outdoor vacation a little more affordable.

Buy or borrow used gear first

If your family or travelmates are new to camping, Alyssa Goldman — writer for the money-saving blog Cheapism.com — says there’s no reason to invest in an activity before you know it will be a winner.

“Always ask family and friends about borrowing their supplies before you make any purchases,” Goldman says.

If there’s not much to borrow, search the News-Press Classifieds for essential but often pricey items like tents and camp stoves. Goldman says you also can check seasonal deals on sites like Amazon.com and Overstock.com or go to RetailMeNot to find coupon codes for camping gear.

For cheap cooking supplies, visit several yard sales and garage sales, which also can be found in the NewsPress Classifieds.

Carry your cards

Goldman says that those who sign up for a membership with a campground chain often earn loads of discounts.

For example, Kampgrounds of America (KOA) offers a value card that saves members 10 percent every time they camp at one of its properties. Members also earn points that can be redeemed for rewards and savings for each stay at KOA, whose campgrounds come with amenities such as wireless Internet, cable hookups and food service.

Another example is a $44 membership with Passport America’s Discount Camping Club, which saves RV campers 50 percent at more than 1,800 participating campgrounds in North America.

Avoid the overpriced restaurants

Campground restaurants and shops often are expensive because their owners know there’s not much of an alternative. What are you going to do — drive 30 or 40 miles to the nearest town?

Instead, pack frozen meals in a small refrigerator or cooler and bring along plenty of fresh fruits, vegetables and snacks like cereal, oatmeal, jerky, raisins, peanuts and instant pudding.

And be sure to pack lots of liquids.

“There’s no need to pay for pricey bottled water,” Goldman says.

A few more tips

ThriftyFun.com says you can save money on batteries and expensive flashlights by purchasing solar lights. Charge them while the sun is shining and use them at night to save both money and energy. You usually can purchase them for less than $4, and they give just enough light to make your campsite safe and easy to maneuver through after dark.

Dave’s Journey & Adventure suggests that thrifty campers turn old vinyl shower curtains into tent tarps instead of throwing them away.

This will help protect your tent floor against tears and prevent water from seeping into the tent when it rains.

And instead of buying bug spray, the site recommends that campers keep their orange peels. Experts have recorded that simply rubbing the inner peel of a ripened orange on exposed skin can work as a mosquito repellent.

According to MoneyFunk.net, the little plastic tags from bread and bun packages are great for pinning up wet bathing suits and towels at camp.

Plus, they take up a lot less packing space than clothespins.

Campers who can rough the terrain without the amenities can try camping for free. Boondocking.org offers a database of areas where setting up an RV or tent costs nothing.

There’s also a handy “Boondocking” app for the iPhone.

—Shea Conner | Josephine magazine

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| Josephine magazine |

September 2013

11

Get back, better

Summer’s over, but reestablishing your routine doesn’t have to give you the blues

By KRISTEN HARE Josephine magazine

Kids look a bit dazed, don’t they, when summer ends and with it, their free time and space to sleep, swim and play as they please?

But have you seen the parents?

They’re not so much dazed as alarmed.

Happily, there are some simple ways to get you and your family back in the daily groove, which involve just a little planning and a bit of preparation to have you on your way to smooth mornings, productive afternoons and happy evenings.

RETHINK NIGHT AND DAY You may look at your day as the morning, and therefore breakfast, as the beginning and the evening, and dinner, as the end.

12

September 2013

Let’s scramble that a little.

The evening is your time to prepare for the next day, which will help your mornings go much more smoothly.

After dinner, Scholastic recommends setting the table for breakfast and, if your children are old enough, set out cereal so kids can help themselves.

Pre-pack the next day’s lunch and have it ready and waiting in the fridge, with lunch boxes on the counter nearby. In the morning, it’s just pack and go.

Nighttime also is the time to sign any papers that need your attention and make sure they’re in a designated place where you children can find and pack them up. Debbie From, director of ACES in Maryville, Mo., also recommends having everyone choose their outfits at night and lay them out.

“Allow kids to have a choice,” she says, and help

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eliminate morning power struggles.

If possible, have your children take their baths or showers before bed. And don’t let them stay up late. Kids need to have a good night’s sleep, between nine and 10 hours, From says.

HOMEWORK RULES Homework doesn’t have to be a battle if you can, instead, establish it as just another part of your routine.

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests the following ways to foster good study habits:

■ Create a designated place for each child to do homework that is quiet and away from the TV and other distractions.

■ Step in every now and then and encourage a quick stretch to help prevent eye strain.

raw, which usually offers the most health benefits. You also can stock up on frozen vegetables and put them in the oven, into a cooking sauce or on the grill.

Eating at home, instead of eating out, is a great way to make sure your kids are getting the nutrition they need, Caldwell says, as well as establish family bonding and get time to see how everyone’s doing.

“Those are great other benefits,” she says.

COMMUNICATE Going back to school can make kids

Work to help your child find the right time to do homework, From adds. Some kids may be ready to tackle homework right after school, while others need a little downtime and are best ready after dinner.

“Whatever works for them, then have that as your routine,” she says.

Be ready to help support your kids as they do their homework, she says, but don’t do it for them. Find the right balance to help them build their own independent practice. Also, pay attention to how long it’s taking them, and communicate with their teachers and make sure that’s appropriate for what they’re covering in school.

anxious, and it’s important to talk with them about what they’re doing each day, how they’re feeling and how things are going, From says.

Also, as you work to establish your routines, model them yourself, and communicate why they’re important. Eat breakfast with your children, set your own clothes out the night before, too, and talk with them about why you’re doing these things.

“I just think no matter what we do, the most important thing is talking to our kids,” From says.

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PREPARE YOURSELF (AND YOUR MEALS) Some nights, you may have the time to prepare a big meal, and, whenever possible, you and your family should plan on taking the time to sit down and eat together.

But for those nights when there’s soccer practice or choir rehearsal or soccer practice and choir rehearsal, have a plan to help your mealtimes go smoothly.

The National Association of School Psychologists recommends having a few easy dinners prepared and frozen for those nights.

One way to do that, says Sheri Caldwell, Hy-Vee dietician, is to make extra.

If you’re preparing a casserole, make two and freeze one.

She also recommends batch cooking. If you’re planning to make chicken breasts one night, buy double and cook all at the same time. The first night, you can have chicken with your planned meal. The second night, chop it up and add it to a salad.

“So I’ve only had to really cook once,” she says.

Eat fruits and vegetables that are in season, and don’t be afraid to serve them

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Fall back into vintage fashions Pair old with the new for a unique autumn look

A

Story by JENNIFER GORDON | Photos by SAIT SERKAN GURBUZ Josephine magazine Amy Heath found her way to vintage items at a young age.

Growing up, Heath frequented thrift stores and garage sales. She discovered items from earlier decades not only caught her eye, but also were often better quality than more modern items.

The penchant for other decades would lead her from work at resale shops to New York’s Brooklyn Flea, one of the world’s largest flea markets, and finally to St. Joseph, where she opened the Lucky Tiger vintage store in May 2012.

She enjoys what she does and not just because she finds items that won’t pop up anywhere else.

“To me it’s important because you’re recycling,” Heath says. “I just saved about 300 pieces from going into a Dumpster.”

Vintage fashion can be repurposed to look very trendy, Heath says.

Part of that has to do with the cyclical nature of the fashion industry. When Heath worked in Brooklyn, she found textile designers from brands like Marc Jacobs and Ralph Lauren would look through vintage items to find inspiration for the next season’s runway.

High-waisted pants from the ’70s reemerged a few years ago, as did funkier prints and patterns. Basic shift dresses styled in ’60s fashion are sold at places like Topshop and Calvin Klein.

Heath says the key to keeping a vintage item from feeling dated is to pair it with something new. Megan Weigler, who modeled clothes from the Lucky Tiger for the shoot, paired a

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’60s-era cable-knit sweater with a pair of leggings and high heeled boots and funky jewelry.

The cable-knit sweater, a great transitional piece for the cooler end-of-summer nights, also pairs nicely with shorts, and when fall really comes, shorts, tights and ankle boots.

Leggings also end up being a crucial modern touch to a vintage piece, Heath says. They work great under men’s shirts or a billowy hippie-style top.

The less adventurous might want to start their dabble into vintage with a ’60s- or ’70s-era piece.

Heath favors those years, too, because they’re so accessible. The ’70s-era maxi dress Weigler modeled for the shoot has the same shape as those that are sold in J.C. Penney or Forever 21, only with dresses like the one Weigler wore, there’s no chance of running into someone with the same outfit at a party.

Sizing, however, might be a little unfamiliar for newcomers.

“The first step in shopping for vintage items is to try it on.

It always looks better on than on the hanger,” Heath says.

What looks like a plain-Jane-cut dress could have a form-hugging silhouette of the sort Christina Hendricks wears on AMC’s “Mad Men.” Heath also cautions that the piece that fits might be a size or two bigger than what you would wear in a commercial store.

Don’t be afraid to try on something new, like a tapestry-print ’50s era dress or a gold and glitter bodice-hugging dress and jacket set. You might surprise yourself, Heath says.

“The more people take a chance on a vintage piece, the bolder they get,” she says.

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September 2013

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1960s vintage cable-knit sweater.

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September 2013

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Black floral print purse.

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LEFT: Lucky Tiger also sells non-vintage items like this necklace from Species by the Thousands for $24.

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Good medicine

S

Nursing instructor teaches through lifelong love of music

By ERIN WISDOM Josephine magazine

Stephanie Glenn met her first love as a child in San Francisco.

But life and practicality led to other pursuits. Her father moved her to St. Joseph after her mother died, and she grew up, pursued a nursing career, married and had children.

Then after 18 years of marriage came a divorce that served as a shock to her system. She took a sabbatical from nursing and ended up in the roofing industry for four years. Yet in the midst of all this change, her first love remained constant.

“Through all of this, everything I’ve ever done, I’ve continued to play guitar, write and sing,” Glenn says.

Now an instructor in the nursing program at Highland Community College’s Atchison, Kan., location, Glenn has found a good fit in teaching — and a somewhat unexpected outlet for her musical bent. Each year, she brings her guitar to class around Thanksgiving and plays for her students, not only to let them see her outside of academia but also to add a dimension to her curriculum.

She accomplishes the latter by integrating lyrics that pertain to what her students are studying, as well as by highlighting the spirituality tied to their coursework on mental health.

While she sings, they journal about what the songs mean to them.

Last year, however, the connection between Glenn’s music and her teaching did a sort of reversal. Rather than using songs to enhance her instruction, she found something she said

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in class forming the heart of a song. Trying to calm her students’ nerves about academic challenges ahead of them, she promised them that if they listened to her, she’d put them on the yellow brick road to success.

Out of those words came the “Wizard of Oz”themed song “Ruby Slippers,” which became the title track on a CD she released in May. She dedicated it to her students, and at their request, a video of her performing the song played at their graduation.

“It’s a song that addresses the fact that life’s not always easy ... but use the gifts given to you, and you’ll always find your way back home,” Glenn says. “I think we’re our best self, our truest self, when we’re using those. I try to encourage people to be who they were meant to be.”

She adds that for her, this truest self emerges when she sings. But this doesn’t mean she’s remained stagnant throughout all her years creating music. On the contrary, her new CD is quite a bit different than her first one, which she created 15 years ago and which contained songs with overtly Christian themes. Now, while there are still spiritual aspects to her work, they’re not as blatant — and she performs more in bars than in church.

As with “Ruby Slippers,” the other songs on Glenn’s new CD are drawn from her own experiences. “Clarity,” for example, came to her during a road trip she took to St. Louis at a time when she needed to get away and clear her mind. She wrote “Boots,” with its focus on the universal desire to be loved, understood and appreciated, after a student showed Glenn

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Stephanie Glenn is a nursing instructor and musician who recently released a CD, ‘Ruby Slippers.’ Submitted

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CONTINUED FROM Page 22 her boots and asked if she liked them.

And “Slip Away” was born the day after Glenn’s daughter’s wedding, as she relived memories of her daughter’s childhood. (More information, as well as audio from these songs, can be found at stephanieglennmusic.com.)

Six of the seven tracks on the CD were written during the 2012-13 school year, and Glenn recorded them last spring at Max Stout Studio in Skidmore, Mo. Several of the songs include electric guitar played by blues musician Jerry Forney, who Glenn says wanted to contribute because he thinks she has a fresh sound.

She classifies that sound as indie folk rock, and she’s been given some unexpected opportunities to share it. In addition to a standing gig at Ruby’s Landing in Atchison and similar places both in the area and elsewhere (she’s even had the opportunity to play at famed Nashville venue The Bluebird Cafe), Glenn has been able to perform in medical settings, as well. The most recent was at an outpatient day program at Truman Medical Center in Kansas City.

“The music itself is just wonderful, with lyrics that speak to people,” Sandy Jackson, a music therapist at Truman, says. “It’s inspiring and encouraging.”

She adds that Glenn also is appealing as a performer in the way she interacts with her audience. And Glenn notes that she sees this interaction as key, given that people assign meanings to songs based on their own experiences, and she likes to hear from listeners what her songs say to them.

Another place Glenn would like to perform is the 40th Annual National Conference on Professional Nursing Education and Development, which will be held next month in Kansas City. The theme for the conference, since it will take place in the Midwest and since 40 years is the ruby anniversary, is “Lessons from Oz.” Of course, Glenn happens to have the perfect song for it.

As for her own yellow brick road, Glenn sees it falling into place in front of her.

She’s going to keep making her way along it — and encouraging others to do the same.

“Good things are happening,” she says.

“Good things are there, but we’ve got to stay on the journey and not lose heart.”

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Do it for yourself

Changes women can make to improve their health on two or more days.

By LISA HORN Josephine magazine

Sharing her personal story of weight loss is one way physician’s assistant Michelle Pruessner provides support to patients looking to change their health.

“I try to be an encouragement, just sharing my story. I’ve dug out old pictures of myself to show them,” says Pruessner, who was overweight from childhood through her college years. “It’s important that they understand that I understand.”

Whatever you plan to do to improve your health, starting small is key, says Pruessner, who practices at the Atchison Internal Medicine and Family Practice Clinic. Research shows that by starting with small, achievable goals, people seeking to be healthier will be more successful than those who begin their journey with high, often unattainable goals.

In a recent American College of Sports Medicine study, sedentary adults given the smaller goal of increasing their daily steps by 2,500 were more than twice as likely to stay the course than those given the goal of walking 10,000 steps a day.

Whether it’s one or several changes, here are some tips to start small: Stop smoking We all know that smoking is one of the most unhealthy and toughest habits to quit. It’s one of the top risk factors for every kind of cancer, osteoporosis, lung disease and the list goes on and on, Pruessner says.

She suggests figuring out what you have to do to get one step closer to quitting. It may take time. Start today by just thinking about how ready you are.

“Once you get to the point of where you want to quit rather than smoke, it’s time to take action,” Pruessner says.

That first step may simply be to see what resources are available by asking your health care provider or calling the Missouri Tobacco Quitline at (800) QUITNOW or visiting them online at quitnow. net/missouri. The free service pairs people planning to quit with a trained coach.

Quit coaches are on duty 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Aim for a healthier diet Pruessner says to try adding a little “color” to more of your meals by trying a variety of fruits and vegetables. Dinner,

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September 2013

for example, should consist of half a plate of vegetables, a quarter of carbohydrates and a quarter of meat.

“Anything white is probably not a good idea,” says Pruessner, who recommends trying sweet potatoes instead of regular potatoes and whole grains in lieu of white bread.

Sweets and junk food every once in a while are entirely reasonable, she adds, as long as they’re in moderation.

Start exercising If it’s something you haven’t done in a while, even a walk around the block is a start.

For the greatest benefit, the federal government recommends:

■ Two hours and 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity or

■ One hour and 15 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity, (such as running, jumping rope or swimming continuous laps) or

■ A combination of moderate (briskly walking, ballroom dancing, leisurely bicycling, roller skating) and vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity and

■ Muscle-strengthening activities (using weight machines, free weights or resistance bands)

| Josephine magazine |

Substitute one glass of water a day for one soda or coffee Women should drink eight glasses of water a day, but it’s hard to get that, especially if we rely a lot on caffeine, which can dehydrate the body.

“Pop is just empty calories that serve no purpose,” Pruessner says.

And even if you’re a diet soda fan, studies have shown a connection to their consumption and weight gain.

“I have patients who quit diet pop and lose weight,” Pruessner adds. “There is some connection there.”

And if you choose to drink alcohol, do so in moderation. Heavy drinking can lead to heart disease, cancer and liver disease, to name a few. For women, that means one drink per day. According to womenshealth.gov, one drink is defined as: 12 fluid ounces of regular beer, 5 fluid ounces of wine or 1.5 fluid ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits.

Promote more sleep If you are feeling short on sleep, make it a priority to try going to bed 20 minutes earlier than normal tonight. Over time, ensure that you’re getting at least seven to eight hours a night.

“Sleep is ridiculously important,” Pruessner says. “It’s completely essential. Insufficient sleep has definitely been linked to a shorter life span.”

Make sun protection a priority Skin cancer continues to be on the rise, and every step you take to protect your skin reduces your risk, Pruessner says.

Repeated sunburns increase this risk.

The next time you step outside, don’t give the sun a chance by wearing a hat and always using sunscreen.

Support your emotional health Had a rough day? Now’s the time to phone a friend before stress builds up to unhealthy levels.

“I see the stress of life getting people down and making them unhealthy,” Pruessner says. “Make sure you have someone you can confide in.”

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to friends or family, seek the advice of a counselor. Poor emotional health is just as important to address as poor physical health, Pruessner adds.

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Face wash facts: What to use, when

By LINDSAY LADEROUTE Josephine magazine

Clean and clear skin is the first step towards having an overall stunning appearance. Makeup can do a lot, but without a good canvas to start on, makeup can only do so much. Taking care of your skin can be quite the challenge: what do all those products do? How often should you use them? How do you pick what is best for you?

With help from a licensed esthetician, we’ll help you better understand what products do and how much to use them to get amazing skin.

We all know that washing our face is important, but when is the best time to do it? Night seems like the obvious answer, because of buildup of makeup, oil and dirt from throughout the day. Yet your face gets dirty while you sleep too.

“Even while we sleep, we get dirt and debris on our face from our pillow cases and there may be makeup that didn’t get all off the night before,” says Angela Jarvis, a freelance esthetician and owner of the skincare line Indulge by Angela of Kansas City, Mo. When it comes to deciding whether to wash in the morning or night, Jarvis says it is more of a personal preference. In regards to how often you should wash, she says you should base your routine on your skin type.

“If you have oily skin, then you may want to wash both morning and night. If you have sensitive skin, then morning or night might work just fine, but only once a day,” states Jarvis.

Be aware of how your skin reacts to washing, because you can over wash your face.

“You may think you have oily skin and wash two or three times a day, but the human body heals itself naturally,” Jarvis says. “So, when you’re washing and stripping the natural oils from your skin, your body or skin thinks you are actually dry and will produce more oil.”

This can lead to breakouts, peeling, redness and even oilier skin, especially if you are using a harsh cleanser. If you’re not sure about your skin type, an esthetician can help you figure out the best routine.

When it comes down to what to use on your face, cleanser and moisturizer are a must.

“It’s important to take cleansing and moisturizing seriously and at least make sure you make time every day for that, if nothing else,” Jarvis says. “A facial cleanser removes dirt, oil, dead skin cells, make-up and other pollutants from the face. This helps to unclog pores and aids in fighting acne.”

Cleansers also help fight wrinkles by removing dead skin cells, which allows new skin cells to grow. To pick a cleanser and moisturizer, take into mind not only your skin type, but also the season and your age.

“Consider a heavier cleanser and moisturizer in the dryer, colder months, and maybe a lighter cleanser and moisturizer in the wet, humid, hot summer months,” Jarvis says.

If you have more sensitive skin, lean more towards a lotion cleanser instead of gel.

“Most lotion-based cleansers contain more water and are more hydrating to the skin, as gel cleansers usually contain more alcohol that can strip the skin of natural oils,” she says.

Beyond cleanser and moisturizer, it’s good to use an exfoliating face wash once or twice a week. They help remove the top layer of dead skin, allowing new skin cell turnover, plus increase collagen and elastin production.

“That top layer of dead skin is what makes skin dull and causes wrinkles,” Jarvis says.

When picking an exfoliating wash, you probably want to stay away from ones that use crushed walnut shells or apricot seeds.

“The molecular makeup on these exfoliators are too big for our pores, and can actually put little ‘micro-tears’ in the skin.

This can stretch out the erector pili muscle, which leads to wrinkles and scarring,” Jarvis says. She recommends looking for ones with ground bamboo or coconut charcoal.

Dealing with acne is another important part of the face routine. Salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide acne products are general acne remedies, found in a range of products. But which one should you use?

“Salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide have a lot of the same properties and have the same effect on the skin,” Jarvis says. “The main difference is that benzoyl peroxide

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kills the bacterium that causes acne. It is very effective on active pimples but should not be used for long periods of time as most people build up a tolerance to it after a week or two of use.”

She recommends using a cleanser and/ or moisturizer with salicylic acid daily and using a benzoyl peroxide spot treatment only on new pimples. It’s important to keep in mind that your body can build up a tolerance to your acne medication.

“Something that was working for months may suddenly stop working for you and you may start experiencing breakouts,” Jarvis says. “This is when I tell clients to try another cleanser for a month or so, about four to six weeks to change the pH in the skin. When it is regulated and the breakouts have stopped, they can go back to their regular cleanser that has worked in the past.”

A hot product category in the face wash market is detoxifying face wash. These are meant to purge or draw out impurities in the skin. Be careful when choosing a detoxifying wash, since some “probably contain more chemicals and preservatives than you are trying to purge out from your skin already, so always read labels,” says Jarvis.

She suggests using products with charcoal in them to help detoxify skin.

“Charcoal is a natural exfoliator and detoxifier; it works by gently exfoliating and drawing impurities out at the same time. It also regulates the pH in our skin naturally,” Jarvis says.

Use a detoxifying face wash or scrub once every few weeks, otherwise you can dry out or irritate your skin.

For all skin products, you should always try to look for products that use more natural and organic ingredients, compared to those with preservatives or chemicals.

“Avoid products containing sulfates and dyes, especially reds or blues; these are all known cancer-causing agents and do not need to be going on your skin and into your body,” Jarvis says.

It is important to remember that skin types can change with age, weather, climate and geographical location. By paying attention to your skin and how it changes, you can have better luck at picking the right products for your face. If you feel a bit lost when walking down the face care aisle, feel free to contact a local esthetician.

“Our job is to help you figure all of that out and teach you about how to properly cleanse and care for your skin individually,” Jarvis says. “If there are factors that are more serious, we can address those and refer you to a doctor or dermatologist that can help you.”

September 2013

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Average Joe

I

Buyer beware To stay friends, never shop with a wife or girlfriend

ALONZO WESTON has been a columnist and reporter for the St. Joseph News-Press for more than 20 years. He and his wife, Deanna, have two children and a dog. The St. Joseph native is also a sports junkie who doesn’t pick up after himself. If you’d like to suggest an idea for this column, contact Alonzo at alonzo.weston@ newspressnow.com.

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don’t go shopping with my wife much anymore. I used to, early in our relationship.

That’s the time when most couples want to spend every waking moment together, sharing every experience. A guy won’t even mind sitting for three hours in a beauty parlor watching his lady get her hair done or going with her to pick out clothes.

But it doesn’t take long for that part of the relationship to get old. Your eyes will begin to glaze over after your woman parades the thousandth outfit in front of you, asking your opinion on how it looks.

What do you say? It makes your behind look too big? It looks like nursing-home wear? No, they don’t really want an honest answer. What they want is for you to agree that everything looks nice on them. They’ve already got their minds made up on what they’re going to buy anyway.

You soon find they just enjoy the act of trying stuff on. It’s sort of their version of you watching three football games in a row on Sunday afternoon.

I hate for my wife to go shopping with me for clothes, too. I know what I like. My sartorial taste hasn’t changed much in 30 years. Blacks, grays, browns and blue jeans work for me.

My wife, however, always wants me to add more color into my wardrobe. She thinks I need more pink, turquoise, yellow and burgundy stuff. But I don’t feel the need to dress like a pimp or a TV wonder gadget salesman.

I used to go grocery shopping with my wife, Deanna. We used to casually walk the grocery store aisles together laughing, talking and pretty much agreeing on the stuff we wanted to eat.

But our tastes changed as we got

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older. Now we don’t agree on much and it’s best I stay at home so as to head off any argument.

Deanna says I rush through the grocery shopping. I say she takes too much time. How can you spend two hours in the grocery store? Really, what my wife does is more socializing than shopping when she goes to the grocery store. And she makes it a point to tell me all the people she’s seen while at the grocery store. People she hasn’t seen in years or since last week.

I personally don’t like visiting with people when I’m grocery shopping.

What’s more to say other than hello?

We’re both there to buy food and toiletries. Not very good topics to build conversation around.

And I hate it when people look in my cart to see what I’m buying. I don’t care if they have a frozen cat in their shopping cart. Really, I don’t.

But while they’re ostensibly holding a conversation with me, their eyes are going over what’s in my shopping cart as if they’ll somehow find a clue as to what I’m really like in there. In reality, what’s in my shopping cart says little about me. It’s merely what I need or feel I need at the moment.

Yeah, I drink beer. What are those scented candles doing in there?

What’s up with the anti-itch creme, and are those pickled pig’s feet? So what?

There are a couple of places where I do spend a lot of time shopping or browsing: music and book stores. In those, I could spend all day.

There used to be a music store down in Westport I would frequent until it closed a couple of years ago.

My wife used to go in with me and browse music. After awhile she just got tired of me listening to every jazz CD in the store. I always felt guilty having her waiting impatiently for me.

When I go to the library, I usually go by myself. But my wife will browse books in the bookstore, so that’s where we’re most compatible shopping together. Of course, we shop for furniture and appliances together.

That’s a given.

But most of the time, Deanna does her shopping and I do mine. We keep the peace that way.

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Getting real

Sweet

words given in sincere appreciation — that is the definition of a compliment. I love to give compliments to others because I feel words have power and to praise someone can lift their soul. So if I am free to give a compliment, why then do I have such a hard time receiving one?

Yesterday, I was walking through the store and a nice gentleman was walking towards me. My habit is to greet everyone with a smile, and he was no exception. I nodded and smiled as we passed. All was good until I turned into the next aisle and ran face-to-face with that same fella.

He approached me and said, “If you could package that smile of yours, we could sell it.”

Psychologists and teachers of etiquette would say the appropriate reply to that comment would be, “Thank you,” but for some reason that doesn’t work for me. Instead, I usually reply to a compliment like I did to this poor gentleman.

“Well, thank you, kind sir. It is so nice of you to say that because I look a mess! It is raining so my hair is flat, I don’t have on any makeup, my shirt is too big, and I was just praying before I left the house that I wouldn’t see anyone I knew.”

Halfway through my sentence, his countenance changed from “smiling with eyebrows raised” to “eyebrows knit together into a scowl, lack of joy showing.” He began to slowly walk away, which is the signal for, “Awkward situation. Flee, quickly,” but I ignored his movement and continued blabbing.

“That was such a kind thing to say.

You made my day.” He was halfway down the aisle at this point, but that didn’t stop me. I yelled to him, “You are a ray of sunshine. You blessed my soul!”

I guess I should be grateful I stopped there and didn’t continue with something like, “Well, I just had onion rings for lunch so my breath smells horrible. I think you should

know, I have a fungus on my foot the doctor hasn’t diagnosed yet. Did I tell you my dog has fleas?”

I knew I needed to stop talking, but just like with the stomach flu, sometimes you can’t stop things from escaping your body.

I know I am not alone in my inability to accept a compliment, and most of the time I find it is women who find it harder than men to accept praise.

For instance, tell a woman you like her dress and what does she say?

“This old thing? Bought it at a garage sale. It smelled like a wet dog when I got it, but I scrubbed it on a rock, then hung it outside for the day and the sun baked most of the stink out.

It is really tight through the waist, and if you look close, you can see my pantylines.”

Yet a man not only accepts every compliment with joy, he can even turn an insult into a compliment. Tell a man that his shirt is too small, and he will come back with, “I know! Isn’t that great? It shows off my beer belly that I have worked long and hard for.

I am glad you noticed. Do you find it sexy?”

My husband has told me before that refusing a compliment is basically telling the person who praised you they have lousy judgment and if they really had all of the details they would retract their original statement. I have tried to keep that in mind when someone tells me my meatloaf is tasty, but I guess there still are certain compliments I feel the need to dispute.

Maybe I should adopt a 1920s style of demure acceptance when it comes to receiving a gracious compliment. I could dip my head, coyly, to the side, bat my eyes rapidly and say nothing while fanning myself with an accordion-style, lace fan. Either that, or learn to just say thanks and walk away.

If those are my only two options, I better buy a fan.

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| Josephine magazine |

Thanks, but no thanks Why is it easy to give a compliment, but hard to receive one?

STACEY MOLLUS is a family-loving, fun-seeking, glitter-covered, chocolate-consuming humor columnist and author. She would love to hear from you, so e-mail her at queenofchocolates@live.com or find her on Facebook at “Stacey Jensen Mollus.”

September 2013

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Meal time

Going to the dogs LONNIE GANDARA TAYLOR is a St. Joseph native who has returned home after a prestigious career in the culinary field. She taught cooking classes in the San Francisco Bay area for years and was a professional assistant to Julia Child, James Beard, Martha Stewart, Simone Beck and Martin Yan, among others. She is a graduate of the Paris Cordon Bleu, the Academie du Vin in Paris and the first culinary class held in the Oriental hotel in Bangkok, as well as being the author of five cookbooks.

I have always liked (and loved) dogs a lot more than people. I won’t reiterate all the reasons that are quoted by dog lovers; suffice it to say that I am a believer.

Certainly some dogs are more challenging than others. My big black lab, Grizzly, was a champ in the chewing department and a free thinker when it came to something being edible. Thus I lost bamboo plant stands, table legs, an antique coffee grinder, door casings and so on. Grizzly became legend in my food circles. I had catered a spring wedding and made several Torta Borracha cakes (aptly named a Mexican drunk cake for the rum used) in heart shapes surrounded by fresh berries. I always made extra food just in case, so I was very happy to have a cake left over. While unloading my car, I put the cake in the middle of the dining room table. One trip back and it was gone. I thought I must have forgotten to bring it in. Not a crumb, and the dog was asleep (faking). Gone without a trace.

I was to give a food lecture to a Sausalito women’s group, so I made a few hundred mini quiches for the break. I had to run out, so I put the hot quiches in the front hall closet to cool and closed the door. I came back, and my (then) husband had come home, opened the door, hung up his jacket and left the door open (not noticing a few hundred quiches cooling?) so Grizzly feasted and ate all of them, completely cleaning out each small mold. No goodies for the girls! An entire roast chicken (with bones) or a walnut table leg, all were considered fair game. If you have a hungry black lab, the following recipes will be a hit.

Torta Borracha 1½ cups flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 teaspoons salt 6 eggs, separated 3/4 cup sugar 1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, melted

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September 2013

Torta Borracha

1 teaspoon vanilla extract (do not use imitation) Rum syrup (recipe follows) Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour a 10-inch round cake pan (or an equivalent heart-shaped pan).

In medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt. Blend well.

In large bowl with electric hand mixer, beat egg whites until foamy and white. Add 1/4 cup sugar and beat until soft, shiny peaks form. In a medium bowl, beat eggs yolks with remaining 1/2 cup sugar until thick and fluffy.

Add egg yolks to beaten whites, beat on low speed until just blended, about five seconds.

Using a rubber spatula, in three additions, carefully fold flour mixture into egg mixture. Drizzle melted butter and vanilla over batter and gently stir to combine ingredients into smooth batter. Pour into prepared pan.

Bake 25 to 30 minutes, or until cake is very lightly browned on top and a cake tester inserted into middle comes out clean. Remove from oven, set on wire rack and let cool for five minutes. Gradually spoon hot rum syrup over hot cake until it is all absorbed. Let cake cool to room temperature before serving.

| Josephine magazine |

Rum Syrup 2 cups sugar 1½ cups water 1/2 cup dark rum (I use Myers) Combine sugar and water in medium saucepan and bring to boil over medium heat, stirring to dissolve sugar. Reduce heat to medium-low, simmer three minutes and remove from heat. Stir rum into hot syrup just before spooning over cake.

Roast Chicken You need a really good chicken, free-range or kosher One 3- to 4-pound chicken, trim excess fat 2 tablespoon soft butter Salt and pepper to taste Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Rub chicken with butter and season with salt and pepper. Five minutes after turning on the oven, place a cast-iron (or other heavy oven-proof) skillet in a rack set low in the oven. When the oven is hot, about 10 minutes later, carefully place the chicken, breast side up, in the hot skillet. Roast for 30 to 40 minutes or until instant-read thermometer inserted into meaty part of thigh registers 155 degrees. Remove from oven and let rest five minutes, then serve.

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