BFF It’s easy to WrIte on facebook
but much harder to pull off In real lIfe. these tWo troy hIgh school students have a good start
kin THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE
Empty nEstErs
after the kIds move out, parents have a varIety of optIons for future lIvIng arrangements
nEwEst addition
helpIng a chIld get used to a neW sIblIng
GrocEry savinGs
keep a lIttle green In your pocket WhIle pushIng the shoppIng cart
novEmBEr 2010
your childhood best friend? Shea Conner reporter I actually had three best friends when I was a kid. I’m still best friends with Jeff, who became a father in September. I see ryan on occasion, but we don’t hang out anymore. And I have no idea what happened to beau.
Paul Branson presentation editor I had 67 good friends in high school. most of us got together this year for our 25th alumni celebration. It was amazing how we all looked a bit different but were still the same people.
Jennifer Gordon | reporter Our parents say Julie and I met in our church’s nursery. 22 years later, we’re more like sisters than best friends. Although we never went to the same school growing up, our families celebrated important holidays together.
Sylvia Anderson lead reporter In childhood, my sister was my best friend. because of school and jobs, we developed other best friends as we got older, but we still are very close. Have a story idea or photo you’d like to see in Kin? Send it to kin@npgco.com or call (816) 271-8563.
Sylvia anderSon A little about me: Sylvia Anderson is Kin’s lead reporter. She and her husband have three children, one grandson and a full-figured pug named Twinkles. Although she doesn’t like sports, she has willingly watched more sports games as a parent than your average fan and is now missing being in the bleachers.
05 Try these tips for staying well this winter. 06 Add some flair to your family holidays with an easy-to-fold napkin decoration. 07 These performances are child’s plays. 08 You can make them any way you like. 09 Let’s salute these innovative toasters. 10 There are plenty of options for the empty-nest family. 12 Is it really a good idea for kids to develop a special bond with one person? 16 Help your child share the excitement of a new sibling. 18 Do something already. 20 Five ways to save at the grocery store. Arm yourself AgAinsT illness | By erin WisDom
CreATe A fAn-TAileD nAPKin | By george sTAnTon
CoTerie THeATre | By Jennifer gorDon
Holy moly! sTromBoli | By DAWn forsBerg
ToAsT To BoAsT | By sHeA Conner
DoWnsize or suPersize? | By sylviA AnDerson BesT frienDs | By TAmArA Clymer
neW ArrivAl | By Jennifer HAll geT ouT |
full CuPBoArD, emPTy WAlleT | By eBoni lACey
Kin’s editor is Jess DeHaven Paul Branson is the presentation editor The photo editor is Todd Weddle
On the cOver: Tanner Weishaar and Amanda Clary have been best friends for years.
|NOVEMBER2010.kin
We asked our staff the following question: Are you still in touch with
Contents.NOvember10
Contributors
This month’s story by Tamara Clymer about best friends immediately took me down memory lane. It seems as though I’ve had a best friend in about every stage of life. The story also brings up a thoughtprovoking theory questioning whether it’s best for kids to have best friends. When I was a freshman in college, my roommate was my best friend from high school. We liked the same music, laughed at the same jokes and even shared some of the same clothes. (She was a good 6 inches shorter than me, but if she wore platform shoes, we could wear the same size.) It was comforting to have someone I could trust from my past to navigate the scary new world of college. We did so much together that someone once asked me if we had a string attached between us. The beginning of my sophomore year, the string broke. My best friend decided not to go back to school, and then my assigned roommate didn’t show up. I can’t begin to describe how lonely I felt. But it pushed me into going outside my comfort zone and meeting new people, including the guy who would later become my husband. So yes, best friends can hold you back. Losing them can be devastating. And in retrospect, you should encourage children to include a variety of people in their lives. But I wouldn’t trade my experiences having a best friend for anything.
03
The parenting plunge
The choices we make
By Betsy Lee
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A little about me: Betsy Lee is a freelance journalist. She lives in a perpetually messy house with her husband, two children and a neglected basset hound mix. You can e-mail her at contactbetsylee@gmail. com.
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I want to go back. Back to when my grandma had her babies. Don’t think it was easier then? It was. And I’ll tell you why. Choices. We have too many Choices. Oh, sure. The women’s rights movement rocked. Big time. When the dust settled women earned the right to choose. Choose our leaders. Choose abortion. Choose any career path. Choose to be with a woman. Choose to have a baby — all on our own. BIG freaking choices. Then enter the INFORMATION age. Wanna know something — just Google it. Crude answers by the dozens. Baby doesn’t sleep? Ferberize ’em. But that might cause brain damage. Co-sleep then. But you might smother your baby. Breast-feed? Vaccines? Cloth diapers? Attachment parenting? Time out? Go back to work? Stay at home? Preschool. There are 10 in your zip code. Ratings. Reviews. Montessori. Waldorf. Language inclusive. Sports? Football or soccer. Baseball or swimming. Ballet or tap. And you just gotta do Girl Scouts. Shuttle, shuttle. WAIT! Family dinner. Six p.m. sharp. Speaking of which … Food. Organic? Value? Eco? Natural? Convenience? Antibiotic-free? Tasty? Local? Fast? Homemade? Could he have a learning disability? Then what? What is ADHD anyway? IS
SHE READY FOR A SLEEPOVER? His
knees hurt. Could be growing pains. Maybe attention-seeking. Or maybe, just maybe, he has cancer. Damn. CALL THE DOCTOR. Blood tests, MRI or a CT? I don’t have a medical
degree, doc. You do. See a specialist? Sure, I LOVE paying co-pays – but sometimes living without worry is worth it. Now we need to talk to her about sex? How? When? Who? And … sigh … where? If there is sex, should be it be in our house? Should we offer protection? Or just hope that they aren’t stupid? Is it even my business? What the hell happened to arranged marriages? SPRING BREAK? Are you kidding? Cabo? Or volunteer work? Do I pay? Or let you foot the bill? College. Ivy-League? Public? Loans? Do we mortgage our future for his education? WHAT!? You’re getting married? OK. Love you. Gonna make us grandparents soon? Butt
out Mom and Dad. I’m an adult. I
make my own Choices.
I
Try these tips for staying well this winter
Arm yourself against illness
stay well
— Erin Wisdom, Kin magazine
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Todd Weddle/Kin magazine
Hand washing is perhaps the most effective way to fight the spread of cold and flu bugs.
t’s that time again: Cold and flu season is closing in. This is nothing new, and neither are the tried-and-true tips for avoiding illness. But Connie Bonebrake, the nursing coordinator for the City of St. Joseph Health Department, knows there’s no harm in issuing a reminder. “I know people hear the message,” she says. “It’s just, how often do they act upon it?” Apparently for some, not often — at least according to studies that show a significant number of people fail to wash their hands after using the restroom. This is unfortunate considering that hand washing is the No. 1 defense against spreading germs. “People’s hands just continually get germ-laden,” Ms. Bonebrake adds. “Wash your hands, wash your hands. ... My kids say they’re going to put that on my tombstone: ‘Wash your hands.’” Although not as effective as hand washing, using hand sanitizer is also a good precaution, as is wiping down surfaces with sanitizing wipes. Ms. Bonebrake notes that since the Health Department started doing that on its counters and office equipment, it’s experienced noticeably fewer employees taking sick days. She adds that just as important as reducing your exposure to germs is enhancing your immune system’s ability to fight the ones it comes in contact with. This requires getting plenty of sleep, dressing warmly enough to avoid becoming chilled and eating good meals — meaning ones that include fruits and vegetables. “It may be harder to find them inseason,” she says. “So if you need to buy the canned stuff, buy the canned stuff.” And water is a must, too — not only because it’s good for you in general but also because staying hydrated helps keep the inside of the nose moist, which in turn helps it trap germs trying to get into the body. And after you’ve mastered all these tips, don’t forget to pass them on to any young children in your life. “That’s a story of its own,” Ms. Bonebrake laughs. “But they can learn these precautions. And you need them to, because anything they might be incubating, I guarantee they’ll pass it on to you.”
05
How To
Create a fan-tailed napkin Add some flair to your family holidays with an easy-to-fold napkin decoration
1. cHoose yoUr nApkin
2. fold it
This type of fold will work great for cloth or paper napkins.
Fold your napkin once lengthwise. (The author is using paper napkins and had to unfold it once for length.)
Back view
4. HAlf it
Fold about an inch up from the bottom. Then fold back again in the opposite direction. Repeat until there’s about 2 to 2½ inches of napkin remaining.
Fold the napkin in half with the accordion fold to the outside.
›
3. Accordion fold
5. tUck fold
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›
Take the remaining excess and fold a triangle into the inside of the accordion fold. This will act as the anchor to hold your fan upright.
06
6. UnfUrl Illustrations and story by George Stanton If you have a suggestion or idea on illustrating a how to, please contact George Stanton at george.stanton@newspressnow.com.
Let the napkin unfold to create a fan shape. Place it on your dinnerware to accent your holiday meal.
These performances are child’s plays
Coterie Theatre
day trip
The Coterie Theatre has performances suited for all members of the family.
Kansas
City’s Coterie Theatre knows even the youngest audiences appreciate the allure of the stage. Ranked one of the top children’s theaters in the country by Time magazine, The Coterie produces six Broadway-quality performances each season, three for children age 5 and up and three for the 13-plus crowd. This year’s lineup includes “The Wiz,” “Bridge to Terabithia” and, starting Nov. 1, “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad
Day,” a musical adaptation of the children’s book by the same name. The Coterie added an additional perk for families for the 2010-2011 season: Something Fun Friday Nights. Following each Friday night performance, the audience can participate in an event where the Coterie either offers backstage tours, a meetand-greet with the cast or a performance by a comedy troupe. “We’re trying to make going to see theater more of an experience,” says Karen Massman VanAsdale, director of marketing and public relations. The Coterie’s location on the first floor of Crown Center also offers plenty of other activities for less thespian-inclined family members. Tickets are $10 for kids, seniors older than 60 and students and $15 for adults. On Saturdays, tickets are buy one get one free courtesy of Target. From Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve, prices go up $2. For further ticket and show time information, call (816) 474-6552. — Jennifer Gordon Kin magazine
Submitted photo
The Coterie is located at Crown Center.
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Submitted photo
07
quick food
Holy Moly! Stromboli IngredIents 13¾ ounces prepared pizza dough (in tube) 8 ounces good quality sliced deli ham 8 ounces good quality sliced roasted chicken 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese 2 tablespoons poppy seeds 1 tablespoon sesame seeds 1/4 teaspoon dried tarragon or basil 3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional) 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder 2 tablespoons olive oil Cornmeal
By Dawn ForsBerg A little about me: Dawn Forsberg is the author of “Dawn’s Kitchen Cuisine” and has won numerous contests in magazines such as Better Homes and Gardens, Cook’s Country, Taste of Home and Better Recipes (the online affiliation of Better Homes and Gardens). Before moving to St. Joseph, she lived in San Diego, Calif., where she had her own business — “It Dawned On Me!” — making and selling fruit salsas, chutneys, mustards, soups, salads and pickles. She is also a vendor at the Pony Express Farmer’s Market on Wednesdays and Saturdays. She is mom to two children, two stepchildren and five grandchildren.
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S 08
dIrectIons
TODD WEDDLE/Kin magazine
tromboli is usually associated with Italian deli meats and cheeses rolled up in a pizza dough and then baked. After letting it rest for a few minutes, it is cut into slices and served with a side of pizza sauce for dipping. If you put the sauce inside with the meats and cheeses, the dough tends not to cook correctly and can be doughy. In this recipe, I switched out the Italian meats and cheeses for ham, chicken and Swiss cheese, the classic Cordon Bleu combination. The topping sprinkled on just before baking gives it an extra flavor boost and looks really attractive. If you cannot find or don’t want to use all of the topping ingredients, use what you like or have on hand. Using this basic technique, you can create an endless variety of strombolis. How about a taco stromboli — cooked taco meat, grated cheese, diced jalapenos, chopped cilantro and black beans (drained, rinsed and patted dry) — with salsa or ranch dressing served on the side? Or maybe a bacon-cheeseburger stromboli — cooked ground beef, grated cheddar cheese, grilled onions or diced red onions and bacon — with a ketchup-mayo-mustard sauce for dipping? Use your imagination to come up with your own variations.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Sprinkle your work surface with cornmeal. Take the dough out of the tube and spread it out into a rectangle. Cut the dough into four equal squares. Cover each dough piece with 2 ounces of ham and 2 ounces of chicken. Sprinkle each square with 1/4 cup of the Swiss cheese. Starting with a corner, roll toward the opposite corner. Roll remaining squares in the same fashion. In a small bowl, mix the poppy seeds, sesame seeds, tarragon or basil, Parmesan cheese, garlic powder and red pepper flakes (if using). Brush the top of the rolls with the olive oil and sprinkle the herb/seed mixture evenly over the top of each roll; gently press into the dough. Transfer the rolls to a 9-by-13 baking sheet that has been sprinkled with cornmeal. Bake in oven for 13 to 15 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from oven and let rest five minutes before serving. Serve with a salad or steamed vegetables for a nice, easy dinner. Serves four to six.
Let’s salute these innovative toasters
Toast to boast
want that
Just about every kitchen appliance has gone through a serious makeover in the last decade. Ovens now have steam and mist control so foods can come out as moist or crispy as the cook desires. Dishwashers have separate drawers so pots and pans can be washed at the same time as delicate dishes. Heck, refrigerators have HDTVs built in (somewhere in the world, Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor is grunting in admiration). But what about the often forgotten kitchen workhorse — the toaster? Sure, the increase to four bread slots was a big deal back in the day, but we’re living in the digital age. It’s time for a change! And here it is. Each of these toasters is innovative in its own way, and all of them look like Optimus Prime compared to the standard two-slot. — SHEA CONNER, Kin magazine
EGG-CELLENT Are you tired of waiting in the drivethru before your daily commute to work? Then you might be interested in an egg and muffin toaster like the one created by Chefscape. This toaster features four wide slots for bread or muffins, round and rectangular poaching trays, an eight-egg cooker and two meat warming trays designed for ham or sausage. This particular model costs $99 and can be purchased at www.chefscape. com. However, many egg and muffin toasters with more basic features — like a two-egg cooker — can be purchased at stores such as Target and Macy’s for as little as $35.
TOAST AS A CANVAS On the surface, the Pop Art Family Fun Stencil Toaster looks like any other. It has seven heat settings and three function settings (defrost, reheat and cancel) and can toast frozen French toast, bagels, English muffins, PopTarts and all flat pastry products. But this toaster also can brand images and words (including “Luv U,” a coffee cup, a birthday cake and a smiley face) right onto your toast, sandwiches and more. So next time grandpa’s birthday rolls around, you can make him a batch of toasted birthday sandwiches instead of slaving over a cake. The Pop Art Family Fun Stencil Toaster can be purchased at Target for $29.99.
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LOOKING THROUGH THE GLASS We’ve all burned toast from time to time, but thanks to the brilliant minds at Inventables Concept Studio, that could be a problem of the past. Inventables’ transparent toaster allows you to see the bread while it is toasting so you’re never surprised if it comes out too dark. This idea is based on a transparent heating glass technology in which copper bars on each side carry electricity through a transparent metal oxide coating on one side of the glass. According to the London Telegraph, European appliance maker Magimix released a similar toaster in high-end stores earlier this year after engineers spent 15 years perfecting the item. The sleek Magimix Vision toaster is currently being sold exclusively by John Lewis stores in London.
09
There are plenty of options for the empty-nest family
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Downsize or supersize?
10
‘‘
Don’t abruptly make the decision. Consider the pros and cons, especially economical and daily living. — MAHLONA DIANE WYLIE, with Clearview Organizing & Design
H
ow wonderful it will be to have the house back to just the two of us, I used to think. When you’ve got three children at home, there is always chaos and clutter. Just to have a clean bathroom to myself and a laundry room not full to the brim seemed like a dream come true. But then it happened. My youngest child graduated from college and moved away. Instead of being elated, I cried. The house seemed so empty. My husband and I began the debate of whether we still needed four bedrooms. Should we sell the house and move into something smaller? But before anything could be decided, the kids started coming back to visit, bringing their significant others with them. It was wonderful, but with all these adults around, our house seemed smaller than ever. So instead of downsizing, maybe we should go bigger? Kassie and David Newton faced a similar situation as empty nesters with a three-bedroom home in Wathena, Kan. “When they left home, I didn’t experience the empty nest so much then,� Kassie recalls. “But when they moved to Arizona, it just about ripped my heart out. We talked about doing a two-bedroom, but I wanted to put a second story on so they could come visit.� And that’s what they did — and then some. They also bought a building downtown that was used as a beauty salon for many years. They are turning it into an apartment to provide more space for when the kids
ff Kassie and David Newton and their dog, Lewis, pose in front of their home in Wathena, Kan. Despite being empty nesters, the Newtons wanted to have enough room for their children when they came to visit. Mr. Newton built the home with a living space upstairs. Jessica stewart/Kin magazine
visit, with the thought that when they no longer can care for the house, they can live in the apartment half the year and in a retirement community near their children the other half. If all goes as planned, the whole family will be able to come together for Christmas this year, with eight people at the Newton home and another four at the apartment. The Newtons are actually the norm for empty nesters, says Mahlona Diane Wylie with Clearview Organizing & Design in St. Joseph. “As long as yard work and house maintenance is not a problem with bigger space, most baby boomers are tending to stay put,� she says. But instead of leaving the extra bedrooms to gather dust, this can be a perfect time to create the room you always wanted, she says. Change bedrooms into a TV room, a private sanctuary, a room for hobbies, crafts or sewing or a showcase for collectibles. Make them multitask areas by using hide-a-beds, sofas or love seats, futons, pop-down divans or slide-out benches with cushions for the stayover guest. However, before you go wild with the room makeover, it’s a good idea to have a discussion with your adult child about how his or her room will be taking on a new look, she says. Assure him or her that there will be still be sleeping accommodations when he or she comes home for a visit. And have the person leaving the family
unit take what they can, selectively picking out items to be stored until they can be taken permanently. “Some young people like the idea of pawning their items to get extra money or help with a garage sale to help move items out,� she says. Sadly, as much as you might want to stay in your home, there can be other considerations besides caring for the house to consider, such as finances. If downsizing is the most realistic option, that doesn’t have to mean putting everyone up in hotel when they visit. “At my home we have a queen-size sleeper sofa in the living room and family room,� Mahlona says. “We have also used air mattresses. Those are fairly affordable.� The most important thing is that when you decide to downsize, make sure you are really ready. “Don’t abruptly make the decision,� she says. “Consider the pros and cons, especially economical and daily living.� Then when you are ready, here are some tips from Mahlona for making the most of your smaller nest:
• renting a storage unit can be a help, but you need to keep in mind both cost and convenience. • When you are considering a new place to live, think about how much storage space is available. • Measure new spaces before moving furniture in or shopping for new pieces. • Remember to use vertical space. • Don’t feel you have to downsize your furniture, too. Large pieces can look just as good in small spaces. — Sylvia anderSon, Kin magazine
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Best friends for A
manda Clary and Tanner Weishaar have been best friends for as long as either one of them can remember. Almost from the moment they met in Mrs. Boeh’s kindergarten classroom, the two have been inseparable. As kids they played on the playground, rode bikes together, jumped on the trampoline and spent most of their summers at the pool. In fact, at times they were so close it seemed they were able to read each other’s minds. “We showed up one day in kindergarten dressed in the same purple outfit and the same shoes,” Amanda says. “We didn’t even know we had the same shoes.” “We wore the same outfits a lot,” Tanner says. “We had a lot of the same stuff.” Now as high school sophomores, their interests may have changed, but one thing has stayed the same. They are still best friends. “We do pretty much everything together,” Tanner says. Please see Page 14
rever
Is it really a good idea for a kids to develop special bonds with just one pal? By Tamara Clymer W Photographed by Todd Weddle
amanda Clary, left, and Tanner Weishaar have been close friends since they were young children.
says she understands a parent’s instinct is to protect their kids, to keep them from getting their feelings hurt, and “We stay the night at each other’s houses a lot. We’ll spend those feelings are normal. two or three nights in a row and just switch homes.” But so is the pain. It’s the typical best-friend relationship — having that one “I don’t think our goal should be to prevent kids from special friend you can do everything with, who gets you feeling or experiencing life,” the director of counseling at and with whom you can share your secrets. The Missouri Academy says. “It should be to guide them According to a recent Harris Interactive study, most through those things. We’re taking too much ownership of American kids have that friendship — at least on some our kids’ lives.” level. The survey found 94 percent of Americans between 8 She says part of childhood is learning to navigate and 24 years of age say they have at least one close friend. the social world. When parents take that over, they’re But it’s a fact that is also starttaking those lessons away. Without ing to worry some educators and them, she says, kids are left without other child-behavior experts. They’re the skills they need to get along as questioning whether kids really need adults. While the need to protect to have a best friend. The classic often comes from very well-meanbest-friend bond — the one where two ing parents, it often just ends up kids share secrets and do everything depriving kids of the experiences together — sends up red flags for they need. school officials already concerned Kibler says kids learn a lot about about cliques and bullying. their world from friendships. They “We know we can’t choose our find out about themselves and about children’s friends, but we can provide their social world and how it works opportunities where more than one — some people are nice and some friend is encouraged,” says Cindy people aren’t so nice — and how you Crouse. handle that. Some of the lessons The St. Joseph School District coaren’t so nice to learn, but they’re ordinator of guidance and counseling still important. is worried about bullying and about She says it is in those one-on-one kids getting left out of the social relationships where kids learn how mix. She says parents should start to have intimate friendships — being encouraging young children not to able to tell secrets, confide in someone find one special friend but to interact and trust in someone. It’s a level of with whole groups of children. That — CIndy Crouse, intimacy that gets lost when all you way, as their child grows, they will coordinator of guidance and counseling, have are these superficial relationhave a wide range of friends to choose ships. St. Joseph School District from. She says the process will not “It’s kind of like speed dating,” only help your child learn good social she says. “You get to know people skills, it will help reduce bullying by discouraging the superficially and then move on. You’re not really given cliques that can develop when kids are allowed to have just the chance to develop trusting relationships with one special friend. people. And even on a kid level they get that and want She says it also will help prevent the emotional costs of that.” having a small social circle. As children grow, their interKibler says there are times when parents need to step in. ests change and people move away. That’s when she says If your child’s best friend is having a bad influence on your it becomes even more important to have a number of good child, or if the pair are involved in bullying or your child friends. is the victim of bullying behavior, you need to intervene. “If a child relies on one best friend, it can be devastating Otherwise she suggests you just step back and take your when things go awry,” she says. “If he or she had a group child’s lead. of friends, then it is not quite as difficult to handle the “Our job as parents is to guide, not to direct,” she says. friend that does something to upset the other.” Tanner’s mom, Jamie Weishaar, says she finds herself For Crouse, the issue isn’t so much about not allowing somewhere in the middle. The Troy, Kan., mother of three a best friend as it is about encouraging several friends. says she certainly understands her daughter’s need to have She says by having a wide group of friends to choose a best friend. She had a best friend in high school as well. from, children learn what it takes to develop strong, But she also tries to encourage all three of her girls to be healthy relationships that will continue through life. nice to everyone in their class. Besides, she says, a person can never have too many “Some of them don’t have any friends,” she explains. true friends, regardless of their age. “You don’t have to be buddy-buddy with them, but if you’re “There’s nothing wrong in helping a child develop nice to them that day it may make their day.” a strong foundation of knowing he or she is well Still, she says she’s not going to discourage her girls from liked by his or her peers,” Crouse says. “There are finding that special friend — as long as the relationship is other ways to teach children how to handle life’s healthy for everyone involved. lessons.” “I think it’s OK to have somebody that you can depend But not everyone sees it that way. Dr. Jackie Kibler on,” she says. “It’s just a balance.” 14 CONTINUED FROM Page 12
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If a child relies on one best friend, it can be devastating when things go awry. If he or she had a group of friends, then it is not quite as difficult to handle the friend that does something to upset the other.
Submitted photo
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Tanner Weishaar, then 8 years old, left, and Amanda Clary, 7 at the time, in August 2002.
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todd weddle/Kin magazine illustration
New arrival T
here are no guarantees on how your child will take to a new sibling, but there are things you can do to prepare them. For many families, starting during the pregnancy is key. From the very beginning, your child should be on the list of people you share the exciting news with. Remember to keep the entire experience positive — no matter how bad the morning sickness gets or how many pounds you add on. “We tried to include (our son) in everything we did,” says Peggy Monicker. The St. Joseph woman says she and her husband, David, would take their 8year-old son, Jacob, with them to many of the doctor’s appointments — at least the ones that didn’t involve intrusive exams. “He was probably more in awe when we heard the heartbeat for the first time than we were,” David says. “It’s a really neat experience to share together.” Here are a few ideas to include your child in the excitement of a new arrival:
Help your child share the excitement of a new sibling
• Talk about baby names and nursery themes together. • Let him or her decorate your growing belly with body paints. It doesn’t have to be elaborate and isn’t that messy. • Encourage your child to talk to the new baby. Nurturing conversations early between them is a good thing. • Take him or her with you on shopping trips for clothing and accessories for the new baby. Even let your child pick out an outfit or two. Once the baby arrives, parents need to remember while they’re doting on the new baby not to forget about other children. Feelings of resentment can occur when attention is shifted and not shared. In all the excitement and emotion, it’s easy to get distracted and put most of your focus on the new baby, says Lauren Joslin of St. Joseph.
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“I’ve done it before without even thinking,” says the mother of three. “But it’s so important to not forget about them.” And there are still plenty of things to incorporate into the care of the baby that can include your child.
• Depending on his or her age, have your child help with diaper changes, feeding and even bath times. If your child is pretty young, simply asking him or her to get the bottle, bib or diaper can be a big help. • Let your child push the stroller sometimes and even ask for help entertaining the baby if you need to step out of the room. Anything that makes your child feel important too. • When meeting new people, step aside and allow your child to introduce the family and the new baby. — Jennifer Hall, Kin magazine
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Wed. 9-5
Thurs. 9-7
Fri. 9-5
W
Sat. 9-12
kids stuff 10I22
Things to do with young people
Haunted Hayrides. Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night through Oct. 31. $12 adults, $7 children under 48” tall. A fun, spooky adventure. Twilight Family Hayrides (no scares) run from 6 p.m. to midnight and cost $5. Ticketing and tractor loading located in Heritage Park parking lot on Waterworks Road. www.wickedholl ow.com.
10I23
Friends of the Animal Shelter open house. Adopt your next best friend! There will be prizes, a raffle, refreshments and a tour. 1 to 4 p.m., St. Joseph Animal Shelter.
10I23
Downtown Overland Park Farmers’ Market & Clock Tower Concert Series. This thriving open-air market offers produce, flowers, specialty foods and entertainment for the entire family. Opens at 6:30 a.m., Downtown Overland Park Farmers’ Market Pavilion. Free. The market also is open Oct. 30. www. downtownop.org, (913) 642-2222.
10I23
|NOVEMBER2010.kin
St. Joe Corn Maze. Come get lost Saturdays and Sundays through Oct. 31 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Advanced and beginner mazes, hay rides and other activities. $10 ages 13 and above, $8 ages 5 to 12. Children 4 and under admitted free. 5521 N.E. Riverside Road. www. stjoecornmaze.com.
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10I24
Hoots and Howls. Ride pedal tractors, enjoy hay rides, participate in Kid Zoo Art, navigate through the rope maze, explore the New Haunted Woods of the Valley, and much more. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Kansas City Zoo. www.kansascityzoo.org.
10I25
Halloween program. Scary stories, games and crafts for brave 7- to 12-year-olds at the Downtown branch of the St. Joseph Public Library. 7 p.m. 232-7729.
10I27
Stone Lion Puppet Show. Both kids and parents will enjoy this fun, kid-friendly show. Kids will have a great time with other kids their age while watching live entertainment. 10 a.m., Tomahawk Ridge Community Center, Overland Park, Kan. Free. www.opkansas.org, (913) 895-6390.
10I29 10
Halloween Party Late Night Skate. Costume Parade and Glow Skate includes two glow bracelets and one glow necklace. 6 p.m. to mid midnight, B&J Skate Center. $14. 364-1314.
10I30 10
Halloween Event and Last Saturday Craft. The First 100 youths will receive a Halloween scene projec projection flashlight. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Remington Nature Center. At 2 p.m., there will be a kids’ craft project celebrating Halloween and autumn. Snacks will be provided. Regular admission. www.stjoenaturecenter.info, 271-5499.
10I30
Spooky Saturday. Come for a children’s costume contest, not-so-spooky stories, ghastly ghost crafts, two family movies (Disney’s “Legend of Sleep Hollow” at 1:30 p.m. and “Monster House” at 2:25 p.m.) and treats for all ages. 1 to 4 pm., East Hills Library. Free. 236-2136.
10I30
Haunted Library Fundraising Event. Recommended for adults and brave children. St. Joseph Public Library, downtown branch. $5 adults, $3 children under 12 (larger donations would be accepted). 232-7729.
10I30
Boo at the Zoo! Bring the whole family to trick-or-treat at the Kansas City Zoo. It’s a safe, family-friendly way to enjoy Halloween. Children of all ages are welcome in their cos-
tumes. 9 :30 a.m. to 6 p.m. Oct. 30 and 31, with a costume parade around the zoo from 1 to 3 p.m. both days. Activities are included with regular admission. www.kansascityzoo.org.
11I13
Remington Nature Center Second Anniversary. Adult admission will be reduced to $2 all day to celebrate the Nature Center’s second anniversary and to thank all patrons. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. www.stjoenaturecenter.info, 271-5499.
11I13
Second Saturday Story Time. Come and join in the Nature Center’s celebrations of its second anniversary, complete with a party, cake and pinata! 2 p.m. www. stjoenaturecenter.info, 271-5499.
11I22
Teen Kitchen 101 with Chef Jeremy. Chef Jeremy from Basil’s Italian Restaurant will demonstrate essential kitchen skills for teens ages 12 to 17. 6:30 to 8 p.m., East Hills Library. Free, registration required. 236-2136.
of contentment and the yearning for achievement. 8 p.m., Carlsen Center of Performing Arts at Johnson County Community College. $25$35. www.jccc.edu/TheSeries, (913) 469-4445.
good stuff 10I20
Get a ‘sitter and try out these activities
10I20
Michael Bolton in concert. Come see the winner of two Grammys and six American Music Awards and the seller of more than 52 million albums and singles worldwide. 7:30 p.m., Carlsen Center of Performing Arts at Johnson County Community College. $50-$130. www.jccc.edu/ TheSeries, (913) 469-4445.
10I21
Third Thursday Wine Tasting. Presented by Hy-Vee Wine & Spirits. Great wine, great snacks, great art and great conversation. This month’s tasting will feature Sara Sullivan with Cellar Selections of Major Brands Distributing. Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art. 5:30 to 7:30 p.m., $10 per person. 232-9750.
10I21
2010 Holiday Mart. An upscale shopping extravaganza that has become a fall tradition over the last two decades. Holiday Mart features more than 200 specialty retailers and attracts more than 22,000 shoppers. Runs through Oct. 24 at the Overland Park Convention Center. $10 admission, or $20 for a multi-day pass. www.jlkc.org.
10I22
“Chicago: The Musical.” 7:30 p.m. Oct. 22 and 23, 2 p.m. Oct. 24. Presented by Robidoux Resident Theatre at the Missouri Theater. For ticket information, call 232-1778.
10I22
Wine tasting. Sample a variety of wines. 5 to 8 p.m., Smooth Endings Fine Wines Spirits & Cigars. Tastings are held every Friday. 749-4WINE or 232-1057.
10I30 10
“Star Trek Live.” Presented by the Performing Arts Association. 2 p.m., Missouri Theater. For ticket informa information, call 279-1225.
10I22
The Capitol Steps. Political staffers turned musical satirists dig into the headlines to spoof the scandals and screw-ups of our elected officials. 8 p.m., Carlsen Center of Performing Arts at Johnson County Community College. $35-$100. www. jccc.edu/TheSeries, (913) 469-4445.
10I22
Wonderscope Children’s Museum of Kansas City annual fundraiser. Wonderscope invites adults to enjoy a “Wonderful Night Out,” including a silent auction of chandeliers designed and commissioned by local artists. The venue, Terrace on Grand’s rooftop deck, will give guests a beautiful view of downtown Kansas City. www.wonderscope.org.
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Jerrod Neimann, Lee Brice, Trailer Choir and Borderline in concert. 6 p.m, Civic Arena. $30. 271-4717.
11I06
“Drumline Live.” Presented by the Performing Arts Association. 8 p.m., Missouri Theater. 279-1225.
11I07
St. Joseph Community Chorus presents “A Veterans Day Tribute.” 3 p.m., Fulkerson Center, Missouri Western State University. Call 271-4420 for ticket information.
11I11
Hands on Flower Photography. Improve your camera skills while shooting beautiful flowers and floral scenes. 9 a.m. to noon, Overland Park Arboretum & Botanical Gardens. $20. Pre-reg-ister by calling (913) 685-3604. www. opabg.org.
Sugarplum Festival. The Sugarplum Festival is an annual event that kicks off the holiday season for residents of St. Joseph and the surrounding areas. This fundraiser for the Albre Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art features an exciting shopping experience, a holiday lunch cafe, a special preview night, a wine tasting and more. This year’s Sugarplum Festival will be held Nov. 11 to 13 at the Albrecht-Kemper Museum. 233-7003.
10I25
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10I23
East Hills Library presents author Marcia Schwartz. 6:30 to 7:30 p.m., East Hills Library. Schwartz will discuss her book “Ghosts of the Missouri River: Tales of Ghosts that Hang Out Here All Along the Big Muddy.” 236-2136.
10I29
Quixotic Fusion — Lux Esalare. Raw artistry bonds with unpredictable aerial maneuvers, ballet and modern dance, original live music and high-fashion design. Lux Esalare is the story of one man’s decision between a simple life
“Last Comic Standing.” Presented by the Robidoux Resident Theatre. 7:30 p.m., Missouri Theater. 232-1778.
11I19
Upcoming Exhibitions opening reception. The new exhibits will be “New Paintings” by Sarah Williams and “Master Printmaker ‘Knotty, Knotty’” by Evan Lindquist. 4 to 7 p.m., Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art. www.albrechtkemper.org, 233-7003.
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Pints for Penguins. Join the Kansas City Zoo for a beer tasting at Pints for Penguins. Sample beers from Boulevard Brewery and enjoy tasty appetizers as you raise money to bring penguins to the zoo. Also, enjoy live entertainment and more. $25 for Friends of the Zoo members, $35 for nonmembers. Online registration recommended www.kansascityzoo.org.
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| NOVEMBER2010.kin
money views
20 photos.com
Five ways to save at the grocery store
Full cupboard, empty wallet? Well, you’re not alone. We all wish we didn’t have to worry about brand selection, prices and Uncle Sam from time to time. We would all have the super-whitening toothpaste and the best detergent. We’d also have four-ply toilet paper, fresh exotic juices and gourmet meals every day. Yet times are hard these days, and it’s important to save money in every way possible. An easy way to save money is to simply watch your spending at the store. These five tips can not only help you save hundreds of dollars but also can allow you to cruise through those store aisles with money in your wallet.
Tip 1
Have a budgeT and sTick To iT By knowing how much you plan to spend ahead of time, you will stop yourself from overspending and buying more than you truly need. Try going to the store with just cash in your pocket. Use only that cash to spend on your items and nothing else. Having a budget can help you be more focused on your spending and can get you out of the store a lot quicker. “The worst thing to do is to have no plan at all,” says Patrick McMurry, professor of economics at Missouri Western State University.
“Only buy the items you want to buy.”
Tip 2
use a calculaTor
Calculate what your total cost is before getting in the checkout line. Pull out your cell phone or a calculator and add up the prices of your items. By adding 7.47 percent (the estimated sales tax in St. Joseph) to the total of your items, you can get a better idea of what tax is going to be on your grocery bill. This way you will be prepared when checking out.
Tip 3
use THose coupons Coupons are everywhere! They are in the Sunday paper, on previous receipts and probably all over your fridge. Some stores have tabloids and coupon books that you can pick up as you enter. Browse online to see if you could print out some electronic coupons. “Use coupons, but use them wisely,” McMurry says. “If you buy items you normally wouldn’t buy just because you have a coupon, then you’re not saving anything.”
Tip 4
prepare and don’T wander Before going into the store, write a shopping list of everything you want to buy. While shopping in the store, go only to the aisles that have the things you want to buy. Wanderers beware: By browsing every aisle, you will be more tempted to purchase something
you didn’t intend to buy, which could pressure your budget. You may be thinking that wandering the store will allow you to see more good deals. However, when you see these good deals, you might not want to pass them up.
Tip 5
sHop alone Sometimes our friends and loved ones tend to distract us. Kids can’t live without their favorite cereal, and spouses want a certain dinner cooked when they see their favorite foods. “Never take your kids when shopping,” McMurry says. “It’s always, ‘I want, I want, I want.’” So, instead of taking your kids, spouse or even friends along, try shopping alone. This way, you are able to stick to your budget and won’t feel obligated to spend more than you truly need. The Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that about 12.5 percent of the average family’s spending goes toward food. With an average income of $40,000 to $50,000 a year, that price is close to $6,000. Lowering this percentage is the key to saving hundreds of dollars. “There are several things you can do,” McMurry says. “When shopping, look down at the bottom shelf. All the expensive brands are at eye level. Look at the cost by ounce and the serving size. Some foods lower in trans fats have a lower serving size. Don’t get hooked by that. Stay away from processed dinners, as you are paying for prior preparation.” Monitor your spending, plan and don’t be afraid to try cheaper brands or use alternatives. Use these tips wisely and always remember to save, save, save.
| NOVEMBER2010.kin
H
ave you ever seen people wandering around the grocery store, picking up everything they see and mindlessly throwing items in their cart? Do you ever think, “I wish I could be just like that person and never worry about a cost in the world?”
— Eboni LacEy, Kin magazine
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Been there, done that
A series of tests
By steve Booher
| November2010.kin
A little about me: As a parent and stepparent, Steve Booher has tried to keep his sense of humor while helping to raise five kids. He doesn’t claim to be the best parent out there, but he says he’s not the worst, either.
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I’m sure the kid didn’t mean to cut me off on Frederick Avenue. He was probably in a hurry to get on with his shallow, meaningless 20-something life and needed my lane to accomplish that. I probably should have politely tapped my brakes and made room for him. Instead I followed him to a nearby convenience store parking lot and yelled at him for being a road hog. Hey, that’s the risk you take when you run into me and I’ve just given up cigarettes. Yeah, I quit smoking. That’s my excuse for yelling at the other driver. It’s a scientific fact that nicotine withdrawal makes quitters cranky and short-tempered. So, for the past couple of months, I’ve yelled at innocent people, acted rude to those who didn’t deserve it and have been horrible to be around. The best thing is that instead of being hurt or angry, people actually feel sorry for me. It’s great. Giving up the smokes is not an easy thing. But it’s not the most difficult thing, either. Earlier this year, I’d had some success losing weight with hypnotherapy, so I decided to try to quit smoking the same way. I downloaded a $5 app for my iPhone called “Quit Smoking Now,” plugged in my earbuds every night and listened to the hypnotherapy tracks before I fell asleep. I haven’t smoked for more than two months. During that time, I discovered that giving up cigarettes isn’t the daily torture I thought it would be. You don’t have continual cravings that drive you crazy. You don’t drive around at night and cruise past
gas stations and grocery stores, knowing that they sell Camels and Winstons inside. Instead, it’s more like a series of tests that you have to pass. Can you not smoke in a bar when you’re having a beer with friends? Can you resist the urge to have that really satisfying smoke after you’ve eaten a delicious supper? Can you drive down the highway and not light up? When your co-workers are heading outside to smoke, can you stay at your desk? Or, accompany them but not smoke? My biggest quit-smoking test was golf. My brother-in-law, Kevin, and I sucked down a pack of cigarettes each round. We’d light up on every tee box and some greens. I figured after a few holes I’d be desperate for a smoke. This, I knew, would be my ultimate test. I failed. Then I passed. About 10 holes into the round, I finally gave into the cravings and bummed a smoke from Kevin. While waiting my turn, I took three long drags from a Marlboro Light 100. Perhaps I should have chosen something less harsh
because when it was my turn, I was so dizzy I could hardly stand up, let alone hit a small object with a metal club. I whiffed. Twice. Disgusted, I dropped the Marlboro and stomped it out. I haven’t had a puff since. Just so you know, I haven’t declared victory over tobacco just yet. I smoked for 25 years and it was more than just cigarettes. I smoked cigars. I puffed on a pipe. I dipped Skoal. I chewed Levi Garrett and Red Man. I liked tobacco in all forms. And I don’t think that you can do something for that long then quit for a couple of months and say it’s all behind you. Maybe I will always be tempted. Maybe five years from now, I will have this overwhelming urge to light up again. But I’ve done well this far and that’s a good sign. And as for my ill temper, well, that should pass soon. I figure another nine or 10 months of crankiness and I’ll be right as rain. In the meantime, don’t cut me off while I’m driving on Frederick, man. I will not be responsible for what happens.
Free Diabetic eDucation! Family Medicine Associates will be hosting a series of educational classes starting in September. Each class will cover a different topic essential to diabetes self-management. The 5 course class schedule is as follows: September 1st 10:30 am & September 30th 7:00 pm Topic: Introduction to Diabetes self-management care: Blood Glucose Monitoring. Free glucose monitors! October 6th 10:30 am & October 28th 7:00 pm Topic: Nutrition, Carbohydrate counting, Meal plans & Weight loss. Free Cookbooks! November 3rd 10:30 am & November 18th 7:00 pm Topic: Medication Options & Healthy Activity (Even for those with limited mobility) Free pedometers! December 1st 10:30 am & December 16th 7:00 pm Topic: Risk Reduction: Heart disease & other DM complications. Free Assessment tools! January 5th 10:30 & January 27th 7:00 pm Topic: Coping, Problem solving, Goal setting & Trouble shooting. Free gift bag for those that complete the series! Patients may attend all classes or just the ones they want! Friends and Family always welcome!!! Classes will be located at: Family Medicine Associates... 2303 Village Drive (on the corner of Beck Road and Village Drive) Call for reservations or any questions to 816-901-1013 Tara Stevenson RN, BSN, CDE (Diabetes Educator)
Visit our website to find the clinic nearest you or call 816-271-8261 www.nwhealth-services.org We accept Medicaid, Medicare, most private insurance and offer a discount program for those who qualify.