Kin October 2010

kin oCtober 2010

THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE

Joining the

ptA

OrganizatiOn allOws area parents, teachers and businesses tO take an active part in educating Our cOmmunity’s children

potty trAining

if it’s time tO ditch the diapers, we’ve gOt sOme tips tO help

teen expenses

hOw much shOuld parents pay and hOw much shOuld teens pay?

sibling rivAlry

it’s a natural part Of grOwing up, but dOn’t let it get Out Of hand

Convocation on Critical Issues Newt Gingrich, Former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives 9:30 a.m. • Thursday, October 7 • M.O. Looney Complex Free and open to the community For more information, visit www.missouriwestern.edu/convocation

Homecoming 2010 • October 7 – 9 Thursday - Alumni Association Awards Banquet 5:45 p.m., Fulkerson Center, $30 Friday -

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Alumni Golf Outing, 8:30 a.m., Fairview Golf Course, $35 Alumni Reunions, 7 p.m., Tap Room

Saturday – Parade, 9:30 a.m., Downtown Arts, Beats and Treats, 10:30 a.m., Blum Union lobby. Children’s crafts and activities.

Tailgate, 11:30 a.m., near Spratt Memorial Stadium Game, 1:30 p.m., Spratt Memorial Stadium Post-game Gathering, 5:30 p.m., Smooth Endings, $10 Softball Reunion, contact abeverly@missouriwestern.edu for details.

For more information, visit www.griffonalumni.org

Western is an equal opportunity institution.

to eat in the fall?

Blake Hannon | reporter Since temperatures cool in the fall, that makes the perfect excuse to make a huge batch of chili.

Not only does it taste great, but you can eat on it for a week. Makes me hungry just thinking about it.

Betsy Lee | columnist My favorite thing to eat in the fall is apples -- no question. I love apple pie, apple crisp, applesauce.

But nothing beats picking a fresh apple off the tree and biting into it.

Yum.

George Stanton | artist PIE. Our family enjoys many varieties of pies. Top of the list are pumpkin, apple, cherry and peach. The latter being my favorite.

Todd Weddle | photo editor I remember eating homemade apple pies every fall. And my mother would use the leftover dough to make flaky cinnamon rolls. YUM! So as the temps start to fall with the leaves, my thought return to my stomach, like most guys.

Have a story idea or photo you’d like to see in Kin? Send it to kin@npgco.com or call (816) 271-8563.

Sylvia anderSon A little about me: Sylvia Anderson is Kin’s lead reporter. She and her husband have three children, one grandson and a full-figured pug named Twinkles. Although she doesn’t like sports, she has willingly watched more sports games as a parent than your average fan and is now missing being in the bleachers.

05 Tips for telling little ones that a loved one’s seriously sick.

06 Create a spooky graveyard with inexpensive materials.

07 Take a stroll through the great outdoors this fall.

08 The perfect dish for fall.

09 These alarm clocks offer plenty of ways to help you rise and shine.

10 Parents can help solve sibling rivalry .

12 Local members give you the real scoop.

16 If your child is ready to ditch diapers, try these tips.

18 Fall is here, so go out and enjoy the cool weather.

20 How much should parents contribute to teen expenses?

ExPlaining illnEss To a cHilD | By Erin WisDoM

MakE a HalloWEEn HEaDsTonE | By gEorgE sTanTon

MarTHa laFiTE THoMPson naTurE sancTuary | By sylvia anDErson sMoky PoTaTo souP | By DaWn ForsBErg

TiME To WakE uP | By BlakE Hannon

HanDling cain anD aBEl | By EBoni lacEy

sHoulD you Join THE PTa? | By sylvia anDErson

PoTTy TiME | By JEnniFEr Hall gET ouT |

To Pay or noT To Pay | By EBoni lacEy

Kin’s editor is Jess DeHaven Paul Branson is the presentation editor The photo editor is Todd Weddle

On the cOver: Lori Prussman, PTA council president, poses with her nieces, Hailey Meyer, 8, and Brooke Meyer, 14.

|OCTOBER2010.kin

We asked our staff the following question: What is your favorite thing

Contents.OCTOBER10

Contributors

When I interviewed St. Joseph School District superintendent Dr. Melody Smith for this month’s story about the PTA, she told me something that we all know but sometimes forget: Our children are our most precious investment. It’s easy to question the return you’re getting when your 2-year-old, hands covered in shaving cream, merrily plays patty-cake on the new TV. Yes, my son, Brian, did that. He also unscrewed every light switch plate in our house when he was 3, tossed spoons and jewelry down the toilet and wrote his sister’s name all over the walls with crayons, thinking she would get into trouble for it. (She didn’t know how to write yet!) But it’s not until a child is 25, I have been told, that you can see the true fruits of your labor. Now Brian is 25, and I can thankfully report he is a wonderful young man with a great job as an engineer. He now advises me on everything from new computer programs to finances. And he finally has forgiven me (maybe) for insisting he get tutoring after school and putting him in a class to get extra help in reading. It’s not easy raising a child or teaching one.

That’s why we need to work together with the school. So please do read our cover story for some ways you can get involved and get the best return on

03

The parenting plunge

What I love, and hate, as a mother

By Betsy Lee

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A little about me: Betsy Lee is a freelance journalist. She lives in a perpetually messy house with her husband, two children and a neglected basset hound mix. You can e-mail her at contactbetsylee@gmail. com.

04

Often, when I’m out with my children, strangers will approach to wax nostalgic about their own children’s early years.

“Enjoy every moment,” some say.

“They are just so fun at this age,” sigh others.

Or my personal favorite, “It just doesn’t get any better than this, does it?”

Apparently they don’t recall hauling their own whining, kicking child out of the supermarket after a battle of wills over peanut butter M&Ms. Indeed, there are some beautiful things about having a young family. If you’re paying attention, you get to observe as personalities, relationships and imaginations develop. But, as only those truly in the trenches can appreciate, there are many reasons why the early years can be the most challenging.

Here is my list of the things I love and hate about having children under age 5. I would love to hear yours.

I love ... youthful curiosity and how my children make me take note of the beauty all around me.

I hate ... wrenching cigarette butts, hardened dog poop, rocks, firecrackers and all sorts of other contraband out of tightly clenched fists (or mouths).

I love ... the weight of my cuddly, sleepy children on my chest. They give themselves over to me with no hesitation.

I hate ... being a jungle gym — all day, every day.

I love ... the biceps I’ve built while constantly carrying my children.

I hate ... holding a squirming 20-pound child while vacuuming the entire house — all because she is convinced that the machine will suck her up.

I love ... those rare moments when I get to step back and observe how their tiny minds and bodies are perfecting new tasks.

I hate ... tying three sets of shoelaces, brushing three sets of teeth and wiping three behinds.

I love ... hearing my child whisper Mama for the first time, in an adorable teeny little voice.

I hate ... hearing my children yell Mama, over and over and over again — for no apparent reason.

I love ... the development of my motherly instincts.

I hate ... seeing, in terrifying clarity, little motion-picture “what-ifs” play in my mind. What if he falls from that ledge?

What if the gate isn’t shut? What if someone kidnaps her? What if a mountain lion snags him right from the trail and runs away with him?

I love ... how freely they love me, without peer pressure or social norms pulling them away.

I hate ... how tremendous love can so easily breed guilt, an ugly emotion and one that I am constantly battling.

I love ... bearing witness to the beginnings of their relationship as brother and sister.

I hate ... breaking up fights.

I love ... children’s toys. Who doesn’t love balls, bubbles and sprinklers?

I hate ... stumbling over a sea of Hot Wheels cars, building blocks and baby doll dresses.

I love ... to watch them grow up, as they slowly become the people they are meant to be.

I hate ... to watch them grow up, waxing nostalgic (as so many do) about the versions of themselves that they are leaving behind.

stay well

photos.com

Tips for telling little ones that a loved one’s seriously sick

Explaining illness to a child • First, think about what to say and who should say it. Practice aloud the words you’ll use, like “Daddy’s heart is sick, and the doctors are trying to help him get better.” Keep it brief and then elaborate depending on how your child reacts. It’s OK to say you’re sad. “But if you think you’re going to be sobbing, it’s better to have somebody else tell your

child,” says Diane Blum, executive director of Cancer Care, a national nonprofit that helps people affected by cancer.

• Offer realistic reassurance. It’s not a good idea to say that everything will be fine unless you know that for sure.

• Be prepared to talk again. Don’t expect to have one conversation and be done.

• Discuss hospital stays. If someone you know well goes to the hospital, tell your child about it. Because a child’s fantasies can be worse than reality, unless the patient is hooked up to lots of tubes and looking scary, Ms. Blum advises that a visit is usually reassuring.

• Talk about how the sick person might be feeling. You might say “Dad is going to have to take a nap when he gets home from the doctor’s office” or “My treatment is going to make my hair fall out, and I’m going to look really different.”

• Be prepared to discuss death.

If treatment does not go well, say something like “Doctors are doing everything they can to help Uncle Joe. But it’s not working, and he’s getting sicker.” Be direct and use words your child can understand, like “dying,” “pain” and “hurting.”

Avoid euphemisms like “passing away.”

— Erin Wisdom, Kin magazine

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Parents sometimes think they’re protecting a child by not telling him someone’s sick, but often children will pick up on it if family members are sad or their usual routines are disrupted. BabyCenter — www. babycenter.com — offers these tips for telling children that a loved one is seriously ill:

05

How To

Make a Halloween headstone Create a spooky graveyard using inexpensive materials from your favorite hardware store

Materials list: › Styrofoam (At least 1.5 to 3 inches thick, 12 inches wide and 16 inches tall) › Permanent marker › Hacksaw blade › Masking tape › Paper or thin cardboard › Ruler and tape measure › 1 can of gray spray primer › Black acrylic paint › No. 6 paint brush › 2 metal hangers › Wire cutters or pliers › 150- to 220-grit sandpaper (optional) › Woodburning tool or soldering iron

Production notes: Building supply centers carry 4’ x 8’ panels of insulation board for about $8 that will make four to six headstones. Attach cut pieces using spay adhesive. Spraying your headstones with a clear varnish will harden them for longevity. Witty epitaphs can be found by doing a quick Web search.

7. Paint it The trick here (pun intended) is to spray your headstone in short bursts at an angle about 12 to 14 inches away.

Do not try to completely cover the Styrofoam with paint.

The paint causes a chemical reaction dissolving the material. Moderate amounts will create an awesome weathered stone appearance. Let dry about half an hour.

1. Block it off Determine the size of your headstone and carve off a manageable size to work with.

2. create a stencil

3. transfer it Unfold your stencil, square it up and tape it down to the Styrofoam block. Using your permanent marker, draw around the stencil, transferring the image.

›

4. cut it Take a liberal amount of masking tape and wrap it around one end of the hacksaw blade. This will prevent abrasions or cuts to your hands. Once applied, proceed to cut along the marked lines.

Don’t try to take 90-degree angles. Ease into the curve by beginning at the top of the semi-circle.

5. sMooth it Smooth any uneven or rough areas you don’t want by sanding them out. This step is optional.

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6. scriBe it

06

Illustrations and story

by George Stanton If you have a suggestion or idea on illustrating a how to, please contact George Stanton at george.stanton@newspressnow.com.

Write your witty epitaph on the Styrofoam using your marker. Allow liberal spacing between letters as they will become wider. The easiest way to engrave your headstone is to melt it. Using caution, take your heated woodburning tool or soldering iron and follow your letters. This will be tricky because the Styrofoam melts fast. You may want to practice on a scrap piece.

›

To make a symmetrical arched headstone, use paper or cardboard and fold it in half of the width of your Styrofoam. This would be a good opportunity to incorporate any ornamental extras by just drawing them once.

8. eMBellishMents Using your No. 6 brush and black acrylic paint, darken the engraved letters. This is also a good opportunity to create cracks in the headstone.

9. stake it Cut and straighten about 14- to 18-inch strips of wire from the hangers. This will be used to anchor the headstone to the ground. Push about 8 inches into the bottom of the Styrofoam. The remaining wire will be pushed into the ground to stabilize your headstone upright.

day trip

Take a stroll through the great outdoors this fall

Martha LaFite Thompson Nature Sanctuary The Martha LaFite Thompson Nature Sanctuary would make the perfect fall family outing.

Submitted photo

along the five miles of walking trails at Martha LaFite Thompson Nature Sanctuary in Liberty, Mo., and you can see all kinds of wildlife, from frogs in a pond to an occasional deer.

It’s a wonderful, inexpensive day trip for the whole family to hike and observe nature. The nonprofit, 100-acre sanctuary charges no entrance fee, and there are picnic tables available for a leisurely lunch. But you’ll also want to come for special events, such as the one scheduled for the weekend of Oct. 22 through 24.

That’s when a half-mile stretch through the woods becomes the Fairy Tale Forest. It’s

designed to be an enchanting, non-scary experience for young children during the Halloween season that also provides a few nature lessons in the process.

So along the trail, you might encounter a talking beaver, Beetle Dee and Beetle Dum or Little Green Riding Hood. At each encounter, costumed characters talk about themselves, how they eat and how they live. Then at the end of the story, the characters give out candy and toys.

Fairy Tale Forest is geared for children 3 to 8 years old, but all ages will enjoy the stroll through the lighted pumpkins. More than 200 pumpkins — intricately and imaginatively carved by area high school

students as part of the annual pumpkin-carving contest — will be displayed this year to celebrate the sanctuary’s 25th anniversary, volunteer Linda Ledford says.

“I’m awed by the pumpkins,” Ledford says. “Even if there wasn’t a character out there, it would be worth it to walk around and see the pumpkins.”

After the walk, children can see live owls from Wings of Love, snakes and toads and try some crafts at the indoor nature center. The trail is all blacktop, so you can take strollers or wheelchairs. The hours for Fairy Tale Forest are 5:30 to 9 p.m. (last group leaves at 8 p.m.). Tickets are $6.

The Martha LaFite Thompson Nature Sanctuary is located at 407 N. Lafrenz Road in Liberty, Mo. You can call (816) 781-8598 for more information.

For more activities in October, see their calendar at http://nature sanctuary.com or call (816) 781-8598 for more information.

— Sylvia anderSon, Kin magazine

In the Fairy Tale Forest, you can learn about nature from costumed creatures.

|OCTOBER 2010.kin

Stroll

Submitted photo

07

IngredIents

quick food

3 slices smoked bacon 1 medium white onion, chopped 2 stalks celery, chopped 3 large garlic cloves, peeled and chopped 6 cups chicken broth 1 large russet potato, peeled and chopped into half-inch cubes 1 large sweet potato, peeled and chopped into half-inch cubes 1/2 teaspoon minced fresh rosemary Milk or cream (optional) Salt and pepper, to taste Chopped chives, for garnish (optional)

dIrectIons TODD WEDDLE/Kin magazine

Smoky potato soup

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It’s fall and there is a chill in the air. It’s a perfect time for a homey bowl of potato soup. This recipe uses both a russet potato and a sweet potato for a little twist on the usual potato soup. You can puree the soup for a creamy version or leave it as is for a chunkier soup. To change it up a little, add a can of chopped clams and/or some peeled, de-veined small or medium raw shrimp.

Add the clams and/or shrimp when you return the bacon to the soup. Just simmer until shrimp are tender, about one to two minutes. Serve with some garlic bread and a nice green salad to round out your meal.

08

By Dawn ForsBerg

In a large soup pot, fry bacon over medium heat, until browned.

Transfer bacon to a paper towel to drain; chop coarsely. Remove all but 2 tablespoons bacon fat. Add onion, celery and garlic and sauté for five minutes.

Add chicken broth and potatoes to the soup.

Cover and simmer over medium-low heat for 20 minutes, or until potatoes are tender. If desired, transfer half of soup to a blender and purée until smooth. Return puréed soup back to pot and stir in rosemary and bacon. Bring the soup to a simmer and turn off heat. Add a little milk or cream to thin to desired consistency. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Garnish with chives, if desired. Serves six.

A little about me: Dawn Forsberg is the author of “Dawn’s Kitchen Cuisine” and has won numerous recipe contests in magazines such as Better Homes and Gardens and Cook’s Country. Before moving to St. Joseph five years ago, she lived in San Diego, Calif., where she had her own business, “Dawned on Me,” making and selling fruit salsas, barbecue sauces, mustards, chutneys, soups, salads and pickles. She is now a stay-at-home mom to two children, two stepchildren and four grandchildren.

These alarm clocks offer plenty of ways to help you rise and shine

Time to wake up

want that

You may have little ones back in school. You might be a college kid who struggles to make his one early class during the week. Then again, you might just be someone who loves to sleep and is allergic to hours that end in “a.m.”

In any case, it might help you to have an alarm clock. But don’t go for some boring model with a clock radio and a snooze bar. The products below are easily some top candidates for the most interesting clocks for your early-morning rise.

— Blake Hannon, kin magazine

CLOCKY (Starting at $34.99. Available at Buy.com, Target and ThinkGeek.com) One of the problems with alarm clocks is the simple act of turning them off for a couple more minutes of shuteye is within arm’s reach. If that has led to sleeping in from time to time, you’re going to love — and possibly hate — the Clocky. While you still can hit the snooze bar on this clock, you’d better enjoy it while it lasts. The next time the alarm goes off, Clocky rolls off your nightstand until you physically get up and turn the alarm off yourself. Good morning!

CHUMBY (Starting at $199.95. Available at www.chumby.com) For the person who is looking for A LOT more than your basic alarm clock. Chumby’s alarm clock features are just scratching the surface of this device. With its touchscreen, you can play games, use Chumby as a digital photo frame, visit social networking sites and YouTube and get weather forecasts, news reports and sports scores delivered right to you at the crack of dawn. Also, music lovers will like that Chumby gives you access to Internet radio and allows you to play MP3 and WAV files from your music player. About the only thing it can’t do is brew your morning cup of joe.

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SONIC BOMB ALARM CLOCK (Starting at $31.33. Available at Best Buy, Amazon.com and ThinkGeek.com) That whole “I slept through my alarm” excuse isn’t going to fly if you own the Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock. While it comes with many standardissue alarm features (snooze bar, sleep timer, etc.), the volume adjustment that allows its beeping tone to go up to 113 decibels (which, by the way, is louder than a jackhammer or chainsaw) is what will get pulses racing in the morning. And if that isn’t enough, it also has a vibrating pad that you can either put under your pillow or on your table for an extra morning nudge.

09

W

Todd Weddle/Kin magazine illustration

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Parents can help to solve sibling rivarly

10

Handling Cain and Abel

e’ve often seen siblings fight on TV, movies, at the mall, the park, the zoo — just about everywhere. Most people ignore it because it’s so common.

Why worry about an older sister screaming at her younger sibling, or two brothers wrestling with each other? Parents Michael and Rita Carr might have felt this way also.

That was until their 15-yearold daughter admitted to killing their 6-year-old son, with the help of their 10-year-old son, due to her feelings of emotional abuse and neglect. The signs of trouble first appeared as she often fought with her brothers.

Now, these parents are faced with the reality of knowing that sibling rivalry tore their family apart.

Though this case is extreme, sibling rivalry is nothing to ignore or tolerate. Parents should take active steps to prevent sibling rivalry before it’s too late.

Ilene Schaller, a St. Joseph clinical social worker who holds a master’s degree in the field, says that sibling rivalry is often triggered by kids feeling that they aren’t getting equal attention.

“It seems like there is a lot more sibling rivalry than it used to be,” Schaller says. “It is mainly because of divorces. Sometimes parents show more attention to their biological child then their step-child.”

Children also can learn behaviors from their parents, which can trigger them to argue to express their feelings. To control this, parents should be aware of what their children are seeing in the home, says Randi Clark, a mother of two and grandmother of six.

“I think that a lot of kids see a lot of arguing in the home and they mimic,” Clark says. “I think that if you have a calm home where there’s not the arguing and the fighting and you remove yourselves from your children when there’s a heated discussion, then they will have a really good foundation of normalcy.”

There are other methods of preventing potentially dangerous sibling problems.

“Separate rooms would be nice,” Schaller says. “When they argue, separate them. Try to keep them busy. If they are old

6 tips to prevent siblings from fighting • Keep rooms separate. Less time spent with each other will minimize arguing. Separate rooms will allow each child to have his own space and feel a sense of independence.

• Keep them busy. Many times kids fight because it’s something to do. When school’s out, both parents are sometimes working and tend to leave their children home alone. If the kids are active and their activities are planned out and organized, they will be less tempted to want to bicker.

• Be fair and equal. Be cautious of how you show attention and love to your children. Make sure that each child is receiving equal amounts of attention and that you are not favoring one child over the other. Also make sure that chores are assigned equally.

• Explain responsibilities within ages. The younger child doesn’t understand why the older child can do more than him. Find good, positive ways to explain why the older child has more freedom than the younger. Teach responsibility at a young age.

enough, have them do some volunteer work. It seems that when kids get bored they want to pick on each other because it’s something to do.”

Older children also can help the younger children so they both can avoid petty arguments and fights.

“We try to teach my oldest that even though brothers can be annoying, they’re still best friends and they have to watch out for each other,” says Susan Upton, a mother of three boys, ages 3, 5 and 8. “The job of the older brother is to take care of the littler ones and make sure that nobody gets hurt. If somebody

— Eboni LacEy, Kin magazine

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Matt Thrasher Agency, Inc. 301 Illinois Ave. (816) 238-1121 mthrashe@amfam.com

Tom C. Lemmon, Agent 2524 Saint Joseph Ave. (816) 279-2606 tlemmon@amfam.com

Rick Hopp Agency 910 N. Belt Hwy. (816) 364-1798 rhopp@amfam.com

Lee Butler Agency 2721 Pembroke Ln. (816) 279-7770 www.leebutleragency.com

Chuck Thorburn Agency, Inc. 125 S. 5th St. Savannah, MO (816) 324-3939 cthorbur@amfam.com

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• Separate them to stop the argument. When fighting begins, separate kids as far as possible.

Never let them continue their argument. Instead, give them time apart from one another so they can calm down.

• Keep a house a home. Don’t argue in front of your children. Make sure the children don’t hear anything negative that they will repeat or that will influence their behaviors.

does get hurt, we’ve talked about how telling the truth is really important.”

Parents should be aware of today’s problems with siblings and the children’s desires to push arguing and bickering to the limit. The key is controlling the limit and monitoring what goes on in the home. Parents need to treat their kids equally and do things equally as much as possible, Schaller says.

“Some kids feel that their parent is favoring one over the other,” she says. “Do things equally so that one sibling doesn’t get jealous of the other.”

Call Your Local American Family Agent American Family Life Insurance Company Home Office — Madison, WI 53783

© 2010

002014 — Rev. 6/10

Should you join the

PTA?

Local members give you the real scoop Written by SYLVIA ANDERSON Photographed by JESSIcA StEWARt

Last year, Brandi Catherall spent an entire afternoon sharpening pencils for her son’s first-grade class at Pershing Elementary School in St. Joseph. It’s not that the busy mom didn’t have anything else to do. And she was certainly capable of handling more demanding tasks. She is a member of the PTA and did it to be involved.

“It’s a little thing,” Catherall explains, “but the teacher didn’t have time to do that and didn’t have an electric sharpener and she needed pencils sharpened. So I went out there and sharpened pencils.”

By doing this simple task, she not only gave the teacher more time to do her job, but she got to observe what’s going on in the school firsthand. This year, Catherall is Pershing’s PTA president and will be a critical part of the decision making for programs, fundraisers and goals for the school. She agreed Please see Page 14

Brandi Catherall, PTA president at Pershing Elementary, discusses the organization with parents and students at the school.

CONTINUED FROM Page 12

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WHAT PARENTS CAN DO

14

Here are some suggestions for getting involved in your child’s school from the National PTA based on the National Standards of Family-School Partnerships: • Ask your child’s teacher how she best likes to be reached (phone, e-mail, in person) and communicate regularly. Don’t wait for a problem.

• Connect with your child’s teacher at the beginning of the year to find out what your child should know and be able to do by the end of the school year.

• Tell the teacher how your child learns best, what he does in his free time and what is going on at home.

• Create a safe and structured place for your child to read and study every night.

• Make sure your child gets enough rest — including older students.

• Encourage your school to offer workshops for parents in the school about schoolfunded programs, policies and resources.

• Make sure you know about your rights as a parent under state and federal education policies.

• Become a part of the school improvement committee that helps plan strategies to identify and resolve problems at school and improve academic performance.

• Attend school meetings about policies and budget.

• Share information about resources in the community with other parents.

• If there’s a website or newspaper at your school, ask someone at the school to post the information.

• Volunteer to be a mentor to another family that may have language or cultural differences.

• If you are from another culture, offer to do a presentation about your culture to your child’s class.

Look for more ideas at www.PTA.org or contact your local PTA.

to do it because she thinks the PTA and volunteering in the school is very important. What she finds surprising, though, is that even though the PTA has been around since 1897, there are still misconceptions about what the PTA is and why parents and businesses should join.

MISCONCEPTION: The PTA is a fundraising organization for the teachers With budget cuts across the board, fundraising is an important part of the PTA, admits Lori Prussman, who has been involved with the PTA for 17 years and is now the PTA council president who presides over the 23 school PTAs in St. Joseph. Tears still come to her eyes when she remembers comments during a bond campaign that if people wanted new schools they should go to Kansas City.

“That offended me to my soul,” Prussman says. “Why aren’t our kids good enough?”

But as important as fundraising is, the main focus is improving the lives of the children, she says. The PTA is a partnership of parents, teachers and businesses to achieve that goal, with help and guidelines from the national PTA. “Secondary is helping out with things we know the school can’t afford but needs,” Prussman explains.

“Each school is different, and that’s at the local level.

At the national level, the PTA is the largest child advocacy group in the world.”

On the national level, the PTA has been responsible for the creation of kindergarten classes, child labor laws, a public health service, hot lunch programs, a juvenile justice system and mandatory immunization.

MISCONCEPTION: Parents should stay out of the schools and leave it to the professionals “I’ve been saying this since day one — we cannot do our job as educators without our parents,” says Dr. Melody Smith, superintendent of the St. Joseph School District. “It’s not an ‘us’ and ‘them’ kind of thing. They are equal partners — they have to be.”

She says she wants parents to know that these are their schools. They need to be involved and participate in long-range planning. The school district is the steward of their investment, which is their child.

“That’s their gem, and we take it very seriously,” Smith says. “Each of us has to put in 100 percent to make sure we are paving that path for the child. It’s hard work, because relationships are hard work.”

MISCONCEPTION: The PTA is only for stay-at-home moms with lots of time “Honestly, there are more working parents than stay-at-home parents involved, as far as I know,” Prussman says. “There is always some time. It’s all in priorities.”

Dads are involved as well. Last year, Charles Saylors became the first male national PTA president.

“Times are different from 30 years ago,” Saylors states on the PTA website. “Today, both parents work, and participation of all adults is needed now more than ever. In fact, research shows that when men are involved, children are more likely to achieve success socially, intellectually and academically.”

And in St. Joseph last year, two fathers were PTA presidents. Prussman says participation by men in fundraisers and attending programs also is continuing to grow.

MISCONCEPTION: The PTA is a clique “That’s exactly what we try not to have hap-

pen,” Catherall says. “We try to get as many people involved as we can — and truly involved. We don’t just want members, we want the involvement of the parents for the school.”

In fact, all the officers are new this year at Pershing, she says. And there are loads of opportunities to volunteer. Plus, being involved in the PTA is a good way to get to know the other parents and the teachers.

If you are interested in joining the PTA, Catherall says to check with the school office. When children reach middle and high school, there is the PTSA (Parent, Teacher, Student Association) so students can be involved, too. And even after your children graduate, you can be involved. Good schools always will be important for a strong community, Prussman says.

“I get so frustrated with parents who complain, but won’t walk in the doors,” she says. “My daughter will be a junior at Missouri Western this year, but I continue to do this because I think it is that important.”

| OCTOBER2010.kin

Lori Prussman picks up her niece recently after school from Pershing Elementary. Though her own daughter is now in college, Prussman has continued her 17-year involvement with the PTA.

15

If your child is ready to ditch diapers, try these tips

| OCTOBER2010.kin

Potty time 16

‘‘ I

If your child can’t understand the words, then there’s no use trying.

— KatIe HardIn, St. Joseph early childhood educator

f you’ve made it through the sleepless nights and the Terrible Twos, you’re probably ready for potty training.

Experts say potty training should start when your child is ready — not at a specific age. If little Johnny seems to be intrigued by the toilet and wearing underwear, you might be ready for the next steps, says Katie Hardin, a St. Joseph early childhood educator.

“If your child can’t understand the words, then there’s no use trying,” she says.

There are simple questions to know if they’re ready: Does your child stay dry for periods of two hours or longer during the day?

Does he or she wake from naps dry?

Does your child have fairly predictable bowel movements?

Does your child tell you through words, facial expressions or posture when he or she needs to go?

Is your child uncomfortable in wet or dirty diapers?

Can your child pull down his or her pants and pull them up again?

Patience is the secret to success, according to the Mayo Clinic. If you start potty training too early, it may take longer.

Brett and Tiffani Sherman say they couldn’t wait for their twin sons to start using the potty chair. Two sets of dirty diapers were enough for the St. Joseph couple.

“I’ve heard boys are harder, so I think I was discouraged before we even started,” Tiffani Sherman says.

“So we probably waited longer than we needed to.”

The Shermans had scheduled potty breaks, controlled meal times and gave plenty of encouragement.

If you think your child is ready, here

are some potty pointers: • Pull out the equipment by placing a potty chair in the bathroom. Encourage your child to sit on the seat and even dump contents of a dirty diaper to show the chair’s purpose.

• Schedule potty breaks. For boys, it’s often best to master urination sitting down before moving to standing up. Read a book or have a special toy handy.

• Get there fast! When you notice signs that your child may need to go, such as squirming and holding themselves, act quickly.

• Be consistent. Make sure all caregivers are on board with the routine.

• Ditch the diapers. After several weeks of success, switch to underwear and celebrate the transition.

• Treat mistakes lightly. Accidents are inevitable. Stay calm and simply say “uh-oh.”

• Sleep soundly. Most children master daytime bladder control, but nighttime control can take a bit longer — up to months or years.

• Know when to call it quits. If your child resists using the potty chair or toilet, chances are they aren’t ready.

Try again in a few months.

— Jennifer Hall, Kin magazine

kids stuff

Things to do with young people

09I23

Upper Elementary Book Club. 4:30 to 5:30 p.m., East Hills Library. Fourth- through seventh-grade students discuss “The Lightning Thief�

by Rick Riordan. Contact Will Stuck at 236-2136.

09I25

Last Saturday Craft. Enjoy a unique craft day where you can choose which craft you make from several stations.

Or, you can make several crafts. Fun for all ages. 2 p.m., Remington Nature Center. www.stjoenaturecenter.info, 271-5499.

09I25

Smithsonian Maga-zine Museum Day. The whole family can enjoy a “day-cation� with free admission from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Remington Nature Center as the Museum Association of St. Joseph joins in the sixth annual Museum Day. www.stjoenaturecenter.info, 2715499

Community Food Bank. A concert from 1 to 11 p.m. at Phil Welch Stadium will feature six bands. Gates open at noon.

Tickets are available at the St. Joseph Hy-Vee, Second Harvest and online at www.bluegrassbattleshunger.com.

Children under 10 admitted free with adult. Call 364-3663 for more information.

09I27 09

Minute to Win It Party. 4:30 to 6 p.m., East Hills Library. Teens 12 to 17 can try their hand at challenges from the popu popular TV game show. Prizes awarded, sign-up required.

236-2136

09I25 |OCTOBER2010.kin

KC Pumpkin Patch and Corn Maze. Located just south of Olathe, Kan., off I-35 and open seven days a week through Oct. 31. General admission is $8 on weekends and $5 on weekdays. See www.kckidsfun.com for directions and hours of operation.

18

09I25

Bluegrass Battles Hunger. A kid-friendly celebration of bluegrass music to benefit the Second Harvest

09I29

Baby Storytime.

11:30 a.m. to noon, Carnegie Library. Introduce your baby to reading with a lively mix of books, music, toys and rhymes. Call to sign up before Sept. 29. 238-0526

10I07

St. Joseph Symphony Youth Concerts.

9:30 a.m., 10:45 a.m. and 1 p.m., Missouri Theater. For ticket information, call 233-7701.

10I09

Second Saturday Story Time: “Let’s Talk Bugs!� Learn all about bugs and why they’re important. There will be a story, snacks and coloring, and all kids will receive a “bug jug� to take home. 2 p.m., Remington Nature Center. www. stjoenaturecenter.info, 271-5499.

See ya at the Josephine Expo!

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10I11

Friends of the St. Joseph Public Library Book Sale. Oct. 11 through 15, East Hills Shopping Center. Browse through thousands of used books, CDs and DVDs. Almost everything costs less than $2.

10I12

“The Dinosaur Play.”

This interactive play presented by Theatre for Young America invites children back to the final days of the dinosaurs and runs through Nov. 6 at Union Station. www.unionstation. org, (816) 460-2020

good stuff 09I24

Get a ‘sitter and try out these activities

Wine tasting. Sample a variety of wines at no charge. 5 to 8 p.m., Smooth Endings Fine wines Spirits & Cigars. Tasting are held every Friday.

749-4WINE or 232-1057.

09I26

Friends of the Animal Shelter open house. 1 to 4:30 p.m., St. Joseph Animal Control, 701 Lower Lake Road. Free.

Annual AlbrechtKemper Museum of Art Fall Wine Walk. Enjoy multiple wines, appetizers and beautiful homes as part of a fun night out on the town.

The event will be held this year at Center Court homes. $35 per person. Call 2337003 to reserve your spot.

10I24

09I28

10I23

Michael Jackson Late Night Skate.

6 p.m. to midnight, B&J Skate Center.

Skate to the King of Pop’s music, practice the Moon Walk and enter the break dance contest. $14. 364-1314

10I30

Last Saturday Craft.

Celebrate Halloween and autumn by designing your own Halloween scratch shapes and bookmarks.

Snacks will be provided. 2 p.m., Remington Nature Center. www.stjoenature center.info, 271-5499.

Tuesday Night Movies. 6:30 to 9 p.m.

Professional movie critic Bob Shultz presents a movie every Tuesday evening.

Admission and popcorn are free. For shows and additional information, call 236-2107.

10I02

Josephine Expo.

A fun day for women featuring shopping, booths, food court, entertainment, fashion show and much more. St. Joseph Civic Arena, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. www.josephineexpo.com.

and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oct. 17, St. Joseph Civic Arena. Admission $5. 271-4717.

10I21

Third Thursday Wine Tasting. Presented by Hy-Vee Wine & Spirits. Great wine, great snacks, great art and great conversation.

Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art. 5:30 to 7:30 p.m., $10 per person. 232-9750.

10I22

“Chicago: The Musical.” 7:30 p.m. Oct 22 and 23, 2 p.m. Oct. 24. Presented by Robidoux Resident Theatre at the Missouri Theater. For ticket information, call 232-1778.

10I25

East Hills Library presents author Marcia Schwartz. 6:30 to 7:30 p.m., East Hills Library. Schwartz will discuss her book “Ghosts of the Missouri River: Tales of Ghosts that Hang Out Here All Along the Big Muddy.” 236-2136.

10I30

“Star Trek Live.”

Presented by the Performing Arts Association. 2 p.m., Missouri Theater. For ticket information, call 279-1225.

10I02

“Vive la France.”

St. Joseph Symphony concert. 7:30 p.m., Missouri Theater. For ticket information, call 233-7701.

10I02

Rockin’ on the River.

Join the St. Joseph Area Chamber of Commerce at this Parties on the Parkway encore event. Enjoy the beautiful riverfront while listening to live music and having great food and beverages. The band Loose Louie will perform classic rock and blues music. www. saintjoseph.com, 232-4461.

10I09

“Walkin the Line: A Johnny Cash Tribute.” Presented by the Robidoux Resident Theatre, 7:30 p.m. at the Missouri Theater. For ticket information, call 232-1778.

Preschool storytimes are beginning at all four library locations. Choose from sessions for babies on up.

Call 232-3812 for more details.

10I15

KQ2 Fall Home Show & Holiday Mart. 4 to 9 p.m. Oct. 15, 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. Oct. 16

Events Calendar at sjpl.lib.mo.us

money views

How much should parents contribute toward teen expenses?

To pay or

L

et’s role-play a scenario that often occurs between a parent and a teen.

First, let’s play the parent role. It’s 5 p.m. Monday evening and you’ve just gotten off work. You’re tired, your feet hurt and you want to rest, take a shower and then throw yourself in bed. It’s been a long day and it’s time to unwind and have some time for yourself. As soon as you open the door and begin walking to your bedroom, you stumble over a stack of papers on the floor. You then look up to find your house completely filthy and your 16-year-old son spread out on the couch with an empty bag of potato chips in his hand. You become furious and think, “He’s 16 now. It’s time he gets off the couch, gets a job and starts helping out around the house.”

Well, you’re not alone. Many parents feel like this and wonder when their teens should start taking some responsibility and get jobs to help them out.

“I think kids should have a job by 16,” says Rita Rivers, whose adult daughters have gone through this stage. “They should start paying for their wants. (An example) is their cell phone bill. It can rack up pretty fast, and kids don’t realize how much they are talking and texting and expect mom and dad to pay the bill.”

Now, let’s play the teen role.

You’ve been saving for the newest

pair of Air Jordans since April. You figured that along with paying for your gas, car insurance, cell phone bill, oil change, yearbook fee and basketball team fee, you’ll have just enough to get them by the end of the month. Then, your coach tells you that she wants to hold practice an hour longer, making you only able to work 20 hours a week instead of your normal 25. This will put you $30 short of those shoes. You ask to borrow the money from your mom and she says, “No, you have a job. Pay for it yourself.” You think, “Gosh, it’s only 30 bucks. I’m so overwhelmed with work and school. Why can’t she just help me out?”

Well, you’re not alone either. Many of today’s teens are overwhelmed with responsibility and feel their parents should still support them while they are in school.

“Sometimes kids are responsible for so much stuff,” says Megan Lowe, a young parent of three.

“They are working 25 hours in high school, and that’s way too much for a high school student to be responsible for.”

Parents should understand that a teen’s money isn’t evaporating; perhaps the cost of life is steadily growing with each new generation.

However, if the parent buys them everything they want, the teen might not realize the true value of a dollar or expect their parent to pay for everything all the time. The key to finding the balance between parent

and teen expenses is communication and compromise, says St. Joseph licensed clinical social worker Linda Meadows.

“The parent and child need to sit down together and try to come to some agreement,” Meadows says.

“This needs to be done ahead of time and needs to be specific. If it’s not specific, there will be misunderstandings that can lead to arguments.”

Regardless of whether this phase will be a rocky road or a cake walk, dollar bills can always cause disagreements and squabbles between teens and adults. However, parents and kids should remember to remain calm and rational with one another when handling this situation, Meadows says.

“My personal take on the adolescents I work with is that they feel like mom and dad ought to be providing for this and for that,” she says. “They need to take a look at what they need to have and work it out. Blowing up is never going to get any kind of problem resolved.”

Try this: Take a notebook pad and factor how much money your teen is making and how many hours they are working. Write out suitable items you would like your teen to pay for. Sit your teen down and explain every item to them and allow them to see that if they manage their money properly, they can afford these items.

— Eboni LacEy, Kin magazine

| OCTOBER2010.kin

not to pay

21

Been there, done that

Pounding down the pounds

By steve Booher

|OCTOBER2010.kin

A little about me: As a parent and stepparent, Steve Booher has tried to keep his sense of humor while helping to raise five kids. He doesn’t claim to be the best parent out there, but he says he’s not the worst, either.

22

On New Year’s Day 2010, I stepped on our bathroom scale. Holy crap! I weighed 212 pounds!

I told no one.

Seven months later, I stepped on the same scale. Holy crap! I weighed 172 pounds!

I wanted to tell everyone.

But it was awkward the first time someone asked how I had lost 40 pounds.

The truth is I honestly don’t know. It could be one main thing or a number of factors that combined to help me lose the weight.

Tell you what, here’s my story. You decide.

Before the end of 2009, I was browsing through the clearance rack at a local bookstore and came across a book entitled “I Can Make You Thin” by a British author named Paul McKenna. I bought it.

The book landed on my dresser, piled on top of the dozens of other discount books that I buy then stack on every available inch of table surface in our bedroom.

It gathered dust for a few weeks.

Then the New Year’s Day scale shock happened. I dug the book out and dusted it off. Turns out, the book was a pretty easy read and I polished it off in an afternoon.

Inside the back cover was a hypnotherapy CD that McKenna suggests you listen to for a few weeks after reading the book.

I copied the hypnosis track off the CD to my laptop computer then

synced it to my iPhone.

That night before bed, I put in my ear buds and listened. After hearing McKenna’s soothing British accent for a few minutes, I fell into a deep sleep. In fact, it was the best night of sleep I’d had in a long time. I woke up the next morning feeling relaxed and refreshed.

I listened to that voice every night for the next three months. I didn’t lose a single pound but didn’t really care because I slept like a rock. McKenna has this part where he has you count backwards from 300. By 288, I was sawing logs.

But the goal — weight loss — seemed elusive. I did notice some changes.

For instance, I could no longer stand the taste of soda pop, so I started drinking bottles of green tea. At mealtime, I could eat only so much before I felt full and I’d push myself away from the table.

I began walking the dog every night.

Then one day, the weight just seemed to melt.

At first, I just noticed that my clothes seemed to fit me better. Shirts hung from my shoulders instead of straining against my beer belly. I had cinched my belts to

the last notch. I could take a pair of pants off without unbuttoning or unzipping them. I noticed all this, but didn’t really pay much attention.

A few weeks later, I bought a new pair of dress slacks with a 33inch waist instead of the usual 38. A few days later, I bought a pair of 32-inch waist jeans.

That was my eureka moment. That was when it finally sank in that I had lost a significant amount of weight. That’s when I stepped on the scale the second time and weighed 172.

The thing is, I didn’t really set out to lose 40 pounds and I’m confused about what caused it.

Was it the hypnosis? Was it giving up soda pop?

Is it eating less? Getting more exercise? Or, a combination of all of these things?

Honestly, I don’t have a clue.

I want to believe it was the hypnosis. After all, since I’ve lost all this weight, I might as well quit smoking. Maybe I can download an iPhone hypnosis smoking cessation app.

That way, I can kick the habit and get a good night’s sleep at the same time.

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