Kin May 2011

ST. JOSEPH’S FAMILY MAGAZINE

kin

PayinG For colleGe student loans are Just one resource for education costs

stay cool

unwanted ParentinG advice can burn You uP, here’s how to handle it

make tomato caGes

a bit of wire and soMe know-how is all You need

Protect teens From dePression

the Family that Garden’s toGether ...

know soMe of the warninG siGns

Get the kids out of the house and into the Yard

Powell Gardens see Jurassic Park in Missouri

may 2011

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Western is an equal opportunity institution.

We asked our staff the following question: Do you have a green thumb?

Blake Hannon | reporter The only time I ever have green thumbs is when I’m making guacamole.

Somehow, I managed to kill a cactus. Need I say more?

Jennifer Gordon | reporter My grandparents do most of the plant growing in my family, and though I can help, I tend to forget to water anything I plant.

Even if I managed to keep a house plant alive for a few weeks, I’m sure my chew-happy cat would undermine my work.

Contents.MAY11

Contributors

Gardening is huge right now. It’s not like it was ever unpopular, but more people are finding that growing their own fruits and vegetables can help cut food expenses and give them more control over what they eat — no more salmonella scares or genetically altered food.

Whether you are a new or seasoned gardener, don’t forget to invite the kids! As I hope to convey in my story this month, “Green thumbs for everyone,” children need to be out in the garden, too. It’s such a positive thing to do on many levels, whether it’s getting them away from the TV, learning where food comes from, experiencing science firsthand or spending quality time with you.

I also hope you were able to join us at the Children’s Fair at Civic Arena on April 12. We are constantly striving to find more ways to connect with everyone for feedback and ideas. If you didn’t make it and have a computer, please sign up be our friend on Facebook and follow Kin on Twitter. It’s an easy way to know what’s new and let us know what you think. Or write me anytime at sylvia. anderson@newspressnow.com.

SYLVIA ANDERSON A little about me: Sylvia Anderson is Kin’s lead reporter. She and her husband have three children, one grandson and a full-figured pug named Twinkles. Although she doesn’t like sports, she has willingly watched more sports games as a parent than your average fan and is now missing being in the bleachers.

05 How to spot early signs of trouble .

06 Take the frustration out of staking.

07 Experience your own Jurassic Park.

08 It’s time to fire up the grill.

09 Thinking outside the bouncy circle.

10 Although there’s no cure, most children can learn to manage it .

12 Get kids out in the garden and grow together.

16 The right way to handle parenting advice.

18 You can’t use the weather as an excuse.

20 Student loans aren’t the only option for tackling steep costs.

SafefguarD TeenS againST DePreSSion | By Jennifer gorDon Make STurDy ToMaTo cageS | By george STanTon

PoWell garDenS | By Sylvia anDerSon

STick a fork in iT Pork | By DaWn forSBerg

Paul Branson | presentation editor I get by. I can grow grass and keep roses alive. This is my yard helper, Zeb. He reminds me to stop and smell the peonies.

TreMenDouS TraMPolineS | By SHea conner

PuTTing a SToP To STuTTering | By erin WiSDoM

Jennifer Hall | reporter I absolutely love being outside and love plants, but I have no clue how to take care of them. I’m still learning though.

green THuMBS | By Sylvia anDerSon

keeP your cool | By Jennifer Hall

a craSH courSe in Paying for college | By erin WiSDoM

Have a story idea or photo you’d like to see in Kin? Send it to kin@npgco.com or call (816) 271-8563.

Kin’s editor is Jess DeHaven Paul Branson is the presentation editor The photo editor is Todd Weddle

On the cOver: Jennifer and Aaron Morris and their sons, Landan, 8, Shaden, 4, and Asher, 5, on their farm in Cosby, Mo.

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Do SoMeTHing |

03

The parenting plunge

Finding a place to call home

By Betsy Lee

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A little about me: Betsy Lee is a freelance journalist. She lives in a perpetually messy house with her husband, two children and a neglected basset hound mix. You can e-mail her at contactbetsylee@gmail. com.

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My home is a blue two-story shaped like a square, nearly 50 miles from where I sleep at night.

The paint I helped my parents apply is peeling now. The crack in the driveway that we used as second base has deepened, so much so that whiffle ball players would likely sprain an ankle if they tried to stretch a double. The sandbox has been filled in, and the playset my Dad built isn’t where it used to be.

I haven’t lived there for more than 10 years.

And yet, this little structure is still my home.

Home isn’t merely a dwelling. A house will suffice for that.

A home is a house shaped by memories.

It is a storied place, from which identities sprout and families are created.

Homes are where generations gather and friends are welcomed.

A home offers safety and security. It’s a place to be angry, boring, silly and serious.

It is a place of permanence.

I lived in my childhood home from age 6 to 18. Then, in college, I flitted from dorm room to apartment to a house we called “The Burnhole.”

After graduation, I made a house out of a boat. I stayed in a tiny apartment. I slept with my dog in a lonely one-bedroom, and I partied hard in a loft with a gorgeous roof-top view.

When I moved into my current house, with my soon-to-be husband and my pregnant belly, I thought that it didn’t feel like home because of the two-tone pink and brown paint, hideous linoleum floors and stark walls.

But even as we disguised it with our favorite colors and pictures of our friends, it still seemed to hunker there.

Even after my husband drove my newborn son and I back from the hospital, up into its nice, flat driveway. And even after I birthed my daughter in the dented bathroom tub.

This house was still an imposter.

We had the memories and the walls. The laughter and the bedrooms.

But we had no home.

Since moving in four years ago, I’ve often wondered if the idea of home is something that exists only in childhood.

Perhaps as we age we can’t find that sense of security because we — the adults, the parents — are the ones responsible for

creating it.

And every headache, in the form of a busted appliance or ruptured pipe, is something that we don’t really want to claim.

A broken place doesn’t match the idyllic image of home.

Plus, we’ve lost the ability to be satisfied.

My two-bedroom duplex is embarrassing when compared to the mini-mansions of some friends and acquaintances.

Before we even unpacked, my husband and I both envisioned our next moving day.

Today, a “for sale” sign stands in front of my little duplex, now pretty with tan paint and brown accents. And we’ve viewed thousands of photos of different, larger, better houses. When we do, I try to place my family inside the little square images.

How will my kids look in that backyard?

How will my husband and I maneuver in that kitchen?

I didn’t do this when looking for my current house.

I couldn’t see my family because I didn’t know what it would become.

When I moved out of my childhood home, I had no idea who I would be either.

Unlike my childhood self, who read books perched in a backyard tree, I was becoming.

Becoming an adult.

Becoming a professional.

Becoming a wife.

Becoming a mother.

I couldn’t make a home because I didn’t feel at home.

Not in the dorm or the boat or even the friend-filled loft.

And this house, sweet, cozy and open, certainly didn’t stand a chance.

But it is the closest I’ve ever been. So I’ll call it my “almost home.”

Now, after four years of settling, painting and making things fit, I’m ready.

I’m ready, finally, for a new home.

Safeguard teens against depression

How to spot early signs of trouble Even if they find their parents embarrassing, teens and tweens need their help to get through the turbulent middle and high school years.

Adolescence comes with changes no one can prepare for, and sometimes the transition can seem too much to handle.

A 2007 Risk Behavior Survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found 18.4 percent of high school girls and 10.3 percent of high school boys had considered suicide.

When parents watch for signs of depression, they’ll have to consider the warning signs look different than with adults.

“For teenagers, a lot of time if they’re depressed, it comes out as anger,” says Nancy Piercy, a family counselor in St. Joseph.

Unusual sleep patterns, changes in social activities, slipping grades and

withdrawing from family and friends also point to trouble. Teens also often will have bouts of crying but only when alone in their rooms.

If parents notice these behavioral changes, they need to address the elephant in the room. The conversation doesn’t need to be intimidating or invasive to be effective. Piercy recommends parents state they’re worried about specific behaviors and ask the teen what’s going on.

Linda Kozminski, a family counselor in St. Joseph, says kids respond better to a more emotional approach.

In return, parents should validate their child’s feelings and reinforce that sadness is OK. “What that child needs to hear is, ‘Wow, I’m really sorry you feel that way. Tell me about that.’ Kids need to know their feelings are real,” Kozminski says.

Adolescents also might express

their inner turmoil through selfharm. Perpetual long sleeves or pants, or for teen girls, stacks of bracelets, might be signs of cutting.

Parents who notice those changes should ask to see their child’s wrists, even at the risk of sounding nosy.

There’s no clear point when a troubled teen should seek a counselor, but if the teen’s behavior disrupts the family dynamic, that might be a good indication to find outside support, says Rachel Gaunt-Weaver, director of children and youth services at the Family Guidance Center in St. Joseph.

Regardless of a teen’s situation, a family culture of communication will make adolescence easier on everyone. Parents should not accept “fine,” “good” or “OK,” as teens’ only responses to basic questions. Getting teens to talk sometimes requires more creativity, but the payoff is worth it.

“I think sometimes kids do extreme things because nobody’s listening,” Piercy says.

— Jennifer Gordon, Kin magazine

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stay well

05

How To

Make sturdy tomato cages Take the frustration out of staking and tying up branches by creating reusable, tough cages 1. Unwind

Materials list:

With your gloves on, unroll and flatten out the concrete mesh far enough so that it’s easy to handle.

› Gloves › Bolt cutters › 50-foot-by-60-inch roll of 6-inch welded wire concrete mesh

2. CoUnt on it Using the 6-inch squares as a guide, count off 12 squares to mark the first cage from the roll of wire.

3. CUt it

›

After the 12th square, cut the wire to the edge of the 13th square leaving the excess wire to bend around the opposite end.

ProdUCtion notes: › Use a small 1-inch piece of metal pipe or conduit if you find it difficult to bend the wire to attach the ends together.

5. asseMble Pull both ends together and bend the excess wire around the joining ends, creating a hook to hold it in place.

›

6. Cage it

4. wire stakes

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Remove the bottom horizontal wire. Cut it as close as possible, allowing the excess wire to be used as stakes to push in the ground for added support.

Center the tomato cage around the tomato plant and weave young branches through the wire as it grows. This helps keep the cage in its place and adds support to the plant.

It also makes picking ripe tomatoes a breeze.

Illustrations and story by George Stanton

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If you have a suggestion or idea on illustrating a how to, please contact George Stanton at george.stanton@newspressnow.com.

Source: The Gardeners Anonymous Blog

Experience your own Jurassic Park

Powell Gardens

day trip

Submitted photos

You’ll find all kinds of creatures lurking at Powell Gardens, from dinosaurs to horses.

imagine your child’s face (and your own!) coming up on a 32-foot Tyrannosaurs Rex at Powell Gardens, the private, not-forprofit botanical garden located just east of Kansas City, Mo. The life-size dinosaur is one of more than 20 realistic prehistoric dinosaurs you will find in a special exhibit called Jurassic Gardens created by Lost World Studios. It’s a changed-up version that was here in 2002 and 2007 and can be viewed at Powell Gardens from May 1 through Aug. 14.

“The reason we brought this back is it gets people of all ages into the garden,” says Callen Zind, director of marketing and events. “Once they get here, they realize how much more there is to see and do.”

Among the dinosaur collection, you’ll want to check out the duck-billed Missouri State dinosaur (yes, there is one) and a family group you wouldn’t

want to mess with — a 27-foot Allosaurus and her tribe of 6-foot babies. Did we mention there are Jurassic bugs? They’re a collection of prehistoric insects housed inside the conservatory.

“Insects used to be much bigger,” Zind says. “For example, there is a foot-long cockroach and a 30inch dragonfly.”

If you haven’t been to Powell Gardens lately, you’ll also want to check out Harvest Gardens, created in 2009. It’s a 12-acre edible landscape where everyone can learn about the journey of food from seed to plate as you discover everything from pomegranates to peaches and soybeans to sweet corn. (There are sometimes samples!) When hunger strikes, stop at the cafe inside Harvest Gardens or at Cafe Thyme. You also can bring a lunch. They don’t allow picnicking inside the gardens, but there is a picnic area adjacent.

Powell Gardens, located at 1609 N.W. U.S. Highway 50 in Kingsville, Mo., is open daily from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Jurassic Gardens is included in the regular garden admission, which is $9.50 for adults, $8.50 for seniors and $5 for children 5 to 12. For more information and directions, call (816) 697-2600 or visit www.powellgardens.org.

— Sylvia anderSon, Kin magazine

Powell Gardens offers activities to keep the whole family busy.

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Just

Submitted photo

07

IngredIents

quick food

1 pork tenderloin, trimmed and silver removed 1/4 cup soy sauce 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce 2 tablespoons Sriracha hot chile sauce 4 cloves garlic, minced or pressed 1 teaspoon black pepper

dIrectIons

Todd Weddle/Kin magazine

Stick a Fork in it Pork

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Actually, you’ll be piercing the pork tenderloin with a sharp paring knife to shorten the marinating time. This pork is wonderful served warm, but my family likes it even better the next day, cold on a salad or in a sandwich. For that reason, I usually grill two tenderloins at a time.

It doesn’t take much longer and you have another meal ready with minimal additional preparation. For an even quicker cook time, you can slice the pork into 1/2-inch slices and grill, or cube the pork and grill it shish kabob-style. Cut the marinating time down to 10 minutes. This pork also can be prepared in a grill pan on the stove or under the broiler in your oven. The pork is done when its internal temperature reads 160 degrees and it’s still slightly pink in the center. If you are not familiar with Sriracha hot chile sauce, you can find it in the Asian section of your grocery. It is quite recognizable by its bright red color, green plastic cap and the rooster on the bottle. It is quite hot, so you might want to start with a little less than the 2 tablespoons called for. Sriracha sauce can be used in place of Tabasco sauce in most foods.

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By Dawn ForsBerg

Take a sharp paring knife and pierce the pork all over, about 15 to 20 slits per side. Place pork in a resealable plastic bag or container and pour in soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, Sriracha chile sauce, garlic and black pepper. Seal the bag, making sure that the marinade is blended well and the pork is evenly covered. Press as much air out of the bag as you can and seal again. Marinate for 15 minutes at room temperature.

While pork is marinating, preheat the grill to medium-high. Remove tenderloin from marinade and place on grill. Discard the used marinade. Close the lid on the grill and grill pork for about 10 minutes, then turn the pork and grill for another five minutes or until internal temperature reaches 160 degrees when measured with a meat thermometer. Transfer pork to a platter and let rest for five minutes.

Slice the pork diagonally across the grain into 1/4-inch thick slices. The pork slices should be slightly pink in the center. Serve with couscous or rice pilaf and steamed broccoli.

A little about me: Dawn Forsberg is the author of “Dawn’s Kitchen Cuisine” and has won numerous recipe contests in magazines such as Better Homes and Gardens and Cook’s Country. Before moving to St. Joseph, she lived in San Diego, Calif., where she had her own business, “Dawned on Me,” making and selling fruit salsas, barbecue sauces, mustards, chutneys, soups, salads and pickles. She is now a stayat-home mom to two children, two stepchildren and four grandchildren.

Tremendous trampolines

want that

Thinking outside of the bouncy circle

You’d think toy creators and engineers have done all they can with trampolines.

People jump on them and they bounce high in the air — that’s it. That’s the only purpose a trampoline serves.

Yet people from all around the world are coming up with new, fascinating uses for the bouncy, recreational toy. Read on.

— Shea Conner, Kin magazine

TRAMPOLINE COURTS OK, so they’re not exactly something you go to a store or go online and purchase, but wall-to-wall trampoline courts — such as Sky Zone Recreational Center in Columbus, Ohio, or the House of Air Trampoline Park in San Francisco — are becoming more and more popular in the United States. Sky Zone’s main court has 33 interconnected floor trampolines. It also has a dodge ball court with 12 floor trampolines, a tumble track, six wall trampolines and four corner trampolines. At the House of Air, you’ll find a 42-trampoline matrix for free bouncing, a 22trampoline colosseum for dodgeball and basketball and a unique trampoline bowl modeled after skate parks.

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SPACEBALL Kids always are looking for games to play on the trampoline, but spirited competitions of “Pop the Popcorn” tend to end in injury. That’s why Funtek Trampolines took “Spaceball” to the masses. The Spaceball trampoline has a unique W-shaped design in which two padded platforms are separated by the middle gantry. The gantry holds the basket hoop where the ball is tossed through and also keeps the players safely separated.

The object of the game is to make your opponent drop the ball. The person who drops it loses the point, and the serve always goes back to the person who lost the last point.

WATER TRAMPOLINES Inflatable sides made of UV-treated PVC vinyl surround the edges of these trampolines (neither natural rubber nor latex are used for these water trampolines, so people with allergic reactions to latex should have no issues). All seams are heat-welded for maximum strength and doubled at key stress points. These water trampolines are ideal for ponds and lakes, but they also can be used in the ocean and other salt-water locations. Both offer all sorts of accessories, including slides, blast bags, logs and jungle gyms.

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Putting a stop to stuttering 10

Although there’s no cure for the condition, most kids can learn to manage it

For Matthew Michalski, it was a breakthrough that brought on the stuttering.

Now 17, the St. Joseph boy has Down syndrome and experienced an onset of the speech disorder as his vocabulary increased a couple of years ago. While most children who stutter begin to do so much sooner in life, the result itself is the same: an impaired ability to communicate.

“He gets excited and just wants to tell you so much,” says his mother, Cynthia Michalski. “He has a tendency to try to talk faster than his brain works.”

About 5 percent of children stutter, according to the Stuttering Foundation of America. Fortunately, although there are no miracle cures, only about 1 percent maintain the problem into adulthood. And for those who do struggle with stuttering, help is available.

Dawn Dennis, a speech-language pathologist and chairwoman of the St. Joseph School District’s speech-

They’ll have an easier time speaking if they’re the ones to initiate a conversation after they’ve had a chance to form in their mind what they want to say.

Sometimes, children who stutter will try to substitute problematic words with synonyms — such as avoiding “car” by saying “vehicle.” Although this may seem an effective technique, it’s not one Dennis encourages.

“It becomes exhausting” for them to constantly search for replacement words, she says, “and it doesn’t make them an effective communicator.”

Parents also should make a point to model slow, relaxed speech, Dennis adds, and to be patient with their children’s stuttering, since feeling they’re unacceptable because of their stuttering can actually make it worse.

Michalski knows firsthand how hard it can be for a child who wants to communicate but isn’t understood.

“Sometimes the stuttering frustrates him. If I ask him to repeat, he just says, ‘Never mind,’” she says of

her son. “That comes out clear.”

She’s found it helps Matthew when she encourages him to calm down, to stop trying to speak and to take a deep breath before continuing. Perhaps because this gives his mind a moment to catch up with his mouth, he’s more likely to get the words out correctly the second time around.

It’s also been helpful for Matthew to have been in speech therapy, both one-on-one with Dennis and in group sessions with other students. Although these sessions focus on improving language skills, they’re a safe place for students who might elsewhere be embarrassed by their communication struggles.

Similarly, experiencing this kind of acceptance at home can be extremely helpful for a child who stutters.

“You don’t want to have stuttering define them,” Dennis says. “ ... What they have to say is more important than how they say it.”

— Erin Wisdom, Kin magazine

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language pathology department, notes that stuttering likely is caused by a combination of factors related to physiology and language disposition, and it generally becomes apparent when children begin putting words into sentences, between 18 months and 2 years of age.

A parent’s first course of action should be a visit to the child’s pediatrician, who won’t necessarily be well-versed in disfluent speech but should be involved at first to determine whether a child is suffering from any related problems. As for treating the stuttering itself, Dennis says several simple approaches can help — the first being simply to encourage children to slow down their rate of speech.

“If they’re in an environment where they feel hurried and rushed to talk fast, that can make their stuttering more present,” she adds.

It’s also helpful not to put children who stutter on the spot by encouraging them, for example, to tell Grandma what they did at school.

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Green thumbs for everyone Get kids out in the garden and grow together

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By Sylvia anderSon

Photographed by JeSSica Stewart

12

here was a day when all children knew where food came from. That’s because they helped grow and harvest the food — if they wanted to eat.

Today, gardening may no longer be a necessity, but more parents are discovering that the benefits of working the soil with their children go far beyond simply putting food on the table.

“Children are so eager to learn and help,” says Jennifer Morris, an avid home gardener and mother of three boys in Please see Page 14

Asher Morris helps his mom, Jennifer, plant a fruit tree.

Morris says, like her children, she is learning about gardening as she goes.

CONTINUED FROM Page 12

Cosby, Mo. “Yes, it might take a fight to pull them away from the television, or in my case the Xbox, but once they are outside and you give them a task, they beg for more.”

That’s because nature is intrinsically good for children, according to the National Environmental Education Foundation. The lack of being outside, combined with our increasing sedentary lifestyle, is contributing to numerous health problems plaguing today’s children, they say, such as childhood obesity, asthma, attention-deficit disorder, vitamin D deficiency, impaired social skills and what some are calling “a culture of depression.” Children are driven from one activity to another and then when they are home, instead of going outside they sit in front of the TV, computer or video games, often eating unhealthy food choices.

“In the past 20 to 30 years, without most of us realizing what was happening, lifestyle changes have accumulated with powerful and pervasive detrimental effects on children,” writes Cheryl Charles, Ph.D., the president and editor of Children & Nature Network, on the website childrenandnature.org.

An easy and rewarding way to help turn the tide on this

growing epidemic is to get your children involved in gardening, as Jennifer has found.

“Give them their own section of the garden or even a simple pot to plant, something that they are responsible for and are allowed to nurture,” she says.

“All it takes is some dirt, water, sunshine and one tiny seed to produce a beautiful flower or a bearing vegetable.”

Jennifer and her husband, Aaron, were not interested in gardening as children. But after getting married, they made the decision to move out into the country and try their hand raising chickens and growing fruits and vegetables on her family farm.

“My mom was a city girl that was ‘forced’ to be out here,” Jennifer laughs. “So, I’m learning it all as I go.”

Jennifer learned a lot from joining the Andrew County Garden Club, she says, and she has accumulated a file full of gardening ideas, with an emphasis on ways to get children involved.

“There are so many fun colors and names for plants that make planning your garden half the fun,” she says. “If you combine those two elements to entice the five senses, you’ve got a garden that is educational for even your youngest child.”

A quick-start way to teach your child and yourself about

gardening is the University of Missouri 4-H Youth Development program called Garden ’N Grow. The free 10-week program is held at the Buchanan County extension office in St. Joseph.

(Sign up by May 1. Call 279-1691 for details.) Volunteer master gardeners teach children ages 8 through 13 the science behind gardening and help them grow their own gardens on site. They learn everything about gardening, including seeds, transplants, garden planning and design, site preparation, plant growth and development and human nutrition and food values. Parents can participate as little or as much as they want.

Janet and Wesley Moore of Union Star, Mo., have two children who have been involved with the program for several years.

“It’s kind of a horticulture class with the gardening,” Janet says. “It’s a really neat opportunity and a lot of fun.”

“I like the activities,” adds Charles Moore, 10. “My favorite was when they put dirt in some pantyhose and grass seed at the bottom. We got to make a face on it with markers and buttons. It was like a grass head.”

Each gardener is teamed up with another child to plant a theme garden such as a salsa garden, a weird garden, a holiday garden or a sunshine garden.

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Give them their own section of the garden or even a simple pot to plant, something that they are responsible for and are allowed to nurture. All it takes is some dirt, water, sunshine and one tiny seed to produce a beautiful flower or a bearing vegetable.

14

—Jennifer Morris, mother of three boys and an avid gardener

They can take home the vegetables they raise, and the excess goes to the Second Harvest food bank. The final activity is a potluck dinner where everyone brings a dish made with something they grew.

And eating the fruits of your labor is something everyone enjoys, says Stacy Merrow of Gower, Mo. Her 11-year-old son, Riley, was in the Garden ’N Grow program for two years. She notes that both he and his brother, 6-year-old Mason, seem more interested in eating vegetables when they have helped raise and harvest them.

“Riley has liked broccoli ever since he was a little fellow,” agrees Stacy’s aunt, Susan Barton, who lives nearby.

During the summer the boys

spend a lot of time at Susan’s and their grandmother’s homes, where they help with the gardening. They love to eat sweet cherry tomatoes off the vine, ripe watermelon, freshly dug potatoes fried with onions and banana peppers right out of the garden. When zucchini season is in full swing, they eat them sliced into sticks dipped in ranch dressing or baked into bread or brownies. A favorite for everyone is cucumber and onions (sometimes called refrigerator pickles), so she usually makes gallons of it. The boys help with food preparation, too.

“Mason cut up the peppers for me and got the seeds out without cutting his fingers,” says Beverly Mercer, the boys’ grandmother.

“They like dill weed to cut, too.

We dry it in the microwave and experiment with what they are going to put their dill weed on.”

In addition to the health benefits, gardening with your children can be a natural learning experience, Jennifer says.

Discuss how everything works together in the cycle of life, from the bees that pollinate the flowers to the sunflower seeds at the end of the season that produce a harvest for the birds, she suggests. Help them relate to and respect nature by planting a tree, then mark their age by taking a picture of them next to it each year.

“The possibilities are endless in connecting you and your children to each other through gardening,” she says. “And it all starts with a single seed.”

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Jennifer Morris plants onions with her three sons, Landan, 8, Shaden, 4, and Asher, 5, from left to right, on their farm.

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Keep your cool The right way to handle unwanted parenting advice Advice comes in many forms and everyone has it.

From a subtle gesture to harsh criticism, Heather Scott says she’s seen it all.

The St. Joseph mother of two says she’s been told how to handle her toddler’s tantrums by an elderly women in the grocery store and had all-out battles with her mother-in-law on the best eating habits.

“It never ends and it can be completely uncalled for,” Scott says. “I’ve learned to deal with it.”

Offering a quaint smile and polite responses has been a way of warding off unwanted advice from strangers. Distance has helped with busy-bodied relatives.

“My mother is my biggest critic,” Scott says. “I am the complete opposite when it comes to parenting, and it drives her nuts.

We battle constantly over her advice.”

Sometimes, it’s all about presentation.

Tanel Kimber, like Scott, says her family was always intervening. While it was done in a less intrusive way, the single mom says she nipped it in the bud immediately.

“I made sure everyone, including my brothers and grandparents, knew I didn’t need their advice,” Kimber says.

Whether it’s intentional or not, some suggestions can be offensive or an attack on a person’s self-esteem.

“People need to realize that even though they mean well, their advice, no matter what, will seem like criticism,” says Beth Obermeier, a St. Joseph family counselor.

“Both sides need to process the information, and don’t overreact.”

Obermeier suggests a simple “thank you, but I prefer to do this a certain way”

My mother is my biggest critic. I am the complete opposite when it comes to parenting, and it drives her nuts. We battle constantly over her advice.

— HeatHer Scott, local mother

or “my spouse and I have already decided how we want to handle this” will appropriately hush unsolicited parenting advise.

The worst thing a person can do is to be overly defensive or comply, says Kimber.

“Both actions will do nothing but justify the unwanted advice,” she says. “Part of being a good parent is standing your ground.”

— Jennifer Hall, Kin magazine

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kids stuff 04/20 Things to do with young people

participate in the St. Joseph Public Library Teen Summer Reading Program at the Downtown Library, come see “Alice in Wonderland” with Johnny Depp. Enjoy pizza, pop and prizes. 2 to 4 p.m. Downtown Library, St. Joseph. Free 232-7729.

Early Out & All Day Skates B&J Skate Center, St. Joseph. Early Out is 2 to 6 p.m. $5, All Day Skates are 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., $7 April 20, 21, 22 and 25, 364-1314 www.skatebj.com

04/23

Easter parade in Zona Rosa. 11 a.m. Free community event featuring the Easter bunny, family activities, local dignitaries as well as a best dressed contest for the whole family.

04/26

The Little Engine That Could. Presented by Theatre for Young America, this musical adaptation by James Larson of the Omaha Theatre for Young People is based on the famous classic by Watty Pipers. Presented at The H & R Block City Stage at Union Station in Kansas City, Mo. Also visit the model train exhibit and The Railway Experience located in Union Station. April 26 through May 14. Tickets are $8 and may be reserved online at www.unionstation.org or www.tya.org, or by calling (816)4602020 or (816) 460-2083.

04/28

National Federation of Professional Bullriders.

7 p.m., April 28, 29 and 30; St. Joseph Civic Arena, $21 reserved seats, $14 general admission 271-4717

04/30

Last Saturday Craft.

Stories, games and crafts will center on life during the Civil War era. 2 p.m. Remington Nature Center, St. Joseph 271-5499 and www.stjoenaturecenter. info

|MAY2011.kin

05/01

18

Woofstock. Family friendly event at Zona Rosa from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. Includes live music by the Cimino Band. Raffles, dog fashion show, awards ceremony, demonstrations by agility stunt dogs, search and rescue dogs, clowns. Fundraiser for the Northland animal shelter. Area shelters with adoptable pets on hand, and pet vendors. Register at www.pcnaws.org

05/24 05/03

Lego Club. Kids in kindergarten on up are welcome to the first club meeting. The meetings will continue on the first Tuesday of each month. There will be a different building theme each month with May’s theme being “cities.” Participants are encouraged to bring their own Legos No reservation necessary. 6:30 p.m., Downtown Library Children’s Department, St. Joseph 2323812.

05/09

Family Movie Night.

“Legends of the Guardians: Owls of Ga’Hoole” (Rated PG) 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. East Hills Library, St. Joseph.

Free. 236-2136.

05/14

Stories, games and crafts will center on Native American children’s life on the plains. 2 p.m. Remington Nature Center, St. Joseph 271-5499 www.stjoenaturecenter.info

05/23

East Hills Library Teen Summer Reading Kick Off. Teens seemed to love library’s “make fun of the movie” events, so they’re doing it again creatively criticizing “Prince of Space.” Come for the bad movie, the pizza, the pop and the door prizes! For teens ages 12 to 17. 6:30 to 8 p.m. East Hills Library, St. Joseph, Free 236-2136.

05/23

Picadilly Circus.

Agile acrobats, Motorcycle madness, Comedic clowns, for all ages. 4:30 and 7:30 p.m. St. Joseph Civic Arena. (888) 71-TICKETS or www. thefuncircus.com

05/24

Down-town Library Teen Summer Reading Kick-Off Party. If you want to

Safety Town. Miniature town designed to introduce children to the importance and methods of safety. Children in preschool and ages 5 to 7 attend Safety Town for eight days to learn safety skills through classroom training and exercises taught by state-certified teachers. Kids take field trips to the local fire department and Bartlett Park, as well a spend lots of time “on the town”. Reservations required. Get more information stjoesafetycouncil.org or call 233-3330.

05/14

Wings Over Weston. Free fun for the whole family.

Learn about Missouri native plants and birds. Live birds, bird banding and netting, duck and songbird mazes, activities and games for all ages, guided bird hike, prizes and raffles. Weston Bend State Park 16600 45 Hwy North Weston, Mo. 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. No reservations needed. platte parks.com/news/2011/030211.html

05/27

Oceans of Fun is open so It must be summer! Check out www.worldsoffun.com for special deals before June 11.

04/30

8th Annual Parkville Microbrew Fest. Have fun and taste great hand-crafted beers from more than 30 local microbreweries at English Landing Park, downtown Parkville, Mo. 1 to 5 p.m. No reservations needed.

For more info: www.parkvillemo.org

04/30

Cemetery Stroll at Laurel Hill Cemetery in Weston, Mo. 4:30 to 7:30 p.m.

Ghost Tales of Weston Dinner Theater, 7:30 p.m. Main Street Tea Room. Call to make reservations (816) 640-2825, www.westonmo.com

05/01

Mystery Dinner Theatre - “The Grand Gatsby Speakeasy.” 6 p.m. Robidoux Landing Playhouse, St. Joseph. Dinner catered by Luna’s at 6:30 p.m. $25.00 per person includes dinner and mys mystery. For more information, visit www. rrtstjoe.org or call 232-1778.

05/12

05/06

05/14

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. Hilarious musical of overachievers’ angst chronicling the experience of six adolescent outsiders vying for the spelling championship of a lifetime.

Evening shows 7:30 p.m., with dinner at 6:30 p.m. May 6, 7, 13, 14, 20 and 21, Robidoux Landing Playhouse 103 W. Francis, St. Joseph. Get tickets at www. rrtstjoe.org.

05/07

The Kentucky Derby Albrecht Kemper Museum. Enjoy a casino-style afternoon including a silent auction, live caricatures, food, drinks and prizes. Come support the museum and watch the race live on the big screen. Sponsored

by Boehringer Ingelheim Vetmedica, Inc. Reservations required, call 2337003 ext. 301.

Parties on the Parkway. After-work event sponsored by the St. Joseph Metro Chamber of Commerce is open to the general public. Food, drinks, a balloon artist and live music. 5 to 8 p.m.

Southwest Parkway and King Hill Drive.

Free. Rain date is May 20.

Met Opera Live: Wagner’s Die Walküre.

One day only. 11 a.m. Experience the fifth season of the Metropolitan Opera’s Peabody and Emmy award-winning series “The Met: Live in HD” at Hollywood Stadium 10 Theater. Conducted

by James Levine. Bryn Terfel is Wotan, lord of the Gods. Deborah Voigt adds the part of Brünnhilde to her extensive Wagnerian repertoire at the Met. Expected run time six hours. Admission: $24 general, $22 seniors, $18 child.

233-8400 For more information go to www.fathom events.com.

05/19

Third Thursday Wine Tasting Presented by Hy-Vee Wine and Spirits. Learn about and sample a variety of wines. 5:30 to a 7:30 p.m. Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art, St. Joseph $10 per person. 2329750

|MAY2011.kin

good stuff

Get a ‘sitter and try out these activities

19

Student loans aren’t the only option for tackling steep costs

| MAY2011.kin

A crash course in paying for college

20

For most parents, it’s a given that if they get their way, their children will go to college.

What isn’t quite so clear is how they or their children will cover the cost of a college education — especially now that the average price for four years of tuition, fees, books and room and board has risen to more than $60,000 at public, in-state schools; more than $100,000 at public, outof-state schools; and more than $140,000 at private schools.

Fortunately, financing options exist other than signing up for a lifetime of loan repayments.

Tony Tanking, director of financial aid at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kan., advises that for parents of young children, it’s never too soon to start saving. A good way to do this is through a 529 plan, which can be set up through a financial advisor. The plans come in two forms: Prepaid plans, which allow for purchasing tuition credits at today’s rates to be used in the future, and savings plans, which earn money through investments such as mutual funds. “Start doing what you can,� Tanking says.

But don’t despair if you’re the parent of teenagers and didn’t start saving when they were toddlers; it’s not too late to make a difference. The prime time for students to start looking into scholarships is their junior year of high school, and although the responsibility to apply falls to their child, parents still have an important part to play. “Parents are the best motivators,�

Tanking says, also noting that the best way to describe scholarships is as free money and that parents should point out to teens that even if they have to put in several hours of work on applications, it will be worth it if they’re rewarded with a scholarship worth hundreds of dollars or more. “That’s a good return,� Tanking adds. “Even if they only get one out of 10 they applied for, that’s still a good return.�

Students may not be able to apply for scholarships until their senior year of high school, but beginning to research them a year earlier allows time not only for putting together the necessary materials but also for looking into areas of study they might want to pursue in college. An Internet search likely will turn up scholarships specific to those areas, Tanking says, and other places he advises checking for scholarship opportunities are local civic and church organizations, as well as any big corporations with a local presence.

In some cases, students might even be able to do an internship during high school in the career field they plan to pursue. Perhaps the company they intern with offers scholarships. But even if it doesn’t, gaining experience in the area they’re considering in order to get an idea for whether it’s actually something they want to invest thousands of dollars in could be a big money-saver down the road. “That experience is huge,� Tanking says. “It will help you two-fold.� — Erin Wisdom, Kin magazine

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Š 2009004975 00376904/11 — 7/09 Š 2011

Been there, done that

The tightwad meets his match

By steve Booher

| MARCH2010.kin

A little about me: As a parent and stepparent, Steve Booher has tried to keep his sense of humor while helping to raise five kids. He doesn’t claim to be the best parent out there, but he says he’s not the worst, either.

22

Like most married couples, my wife and I have different philosophies about a variety of topics, some important, others not so much. For instance, she doesn’t miss a new episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” and exchanges texts with her daughter during “American Idol” and “Dancing with the Stars.”

Meanwhile, I cloister myself in the bedroom, watch reruns of “Two And A Half Men” and mourn the mental demise of Charlie Sheen.

But television isn’t the only difference. We also have different ideas about money. For instance, if our electric bill is $76.34, I will write a check for exactly $76.34. Conversely, my wife will round up and write a check for $77 because it’s easier for her to balance the checkbook when she only has to subtract whole numbers.

It drives me crazy.

Recently, my wife booked a trip to Atlanta to attend a business seminar. She surfed the net and bought a round-trip airline ticket for about $250. Not a bad price.

As we talked about her plans, she sweetly asked if I wanted to go with her. We could spend some romantic evenings after her seminar ended for the day. And, surely I could manage to keep myself occupied during the day.

Sounds like fun, I said.

We immediately fired up the laptop and began searching for cheap flights.

By leaving a day later than her and returning the same day but on an earlier flight, I found a round-trip ticket for $188. I was just about to hit the “book your flight” button when my wife added her special wrinkle — the one that usually means, sorry Steve, it won’t be that simple.

“Hey, why don’t you see if you can fly home with me,” she said with a smile.

Ummm ... OK, I said.

I hit the back button a couple of times and found

Flight 1584, the same return flight she had booked. I updated my itinerary then watched the price of my ticket balloon from a skinny $188 to a big, fat $273.

Perfect. An extra $85, I silently computed.

I tried to figure a way to weasel out of the more expensive flight. I could feel my neck turning red.

I don’t really see myself as a tightwad but, hey, 85 bucks is 85 bucks. Plus, we’ve flown together before and I didn’t get the impression that either one of us considered it a magical experience. I mean, we don’t talk that much during the flight and she usually falls asleep.

So, we’re talking 85 bucks just to sit next to her, not talk and, eventually, watch her snooze. Perfect.

Of course, my wife could tell I was squirming over the extra $85.

She noticed that my cursor hovered over the “book your flight” button but didn’t engage. I stalled and tried to make small talk.

“Gee honey, this is just perfect,” I said with a weak smile. “It will be awesome to fly back with you. Just ... well, perfect.”

At this point, my wife does the end run. She plays the “I love you sooooo much” game. Basically, she tells me that it’s so worth it to have me sitting next to her on the trip home that she’ll gladly reimburse me the extra $85. Even if it was an extra $185, she says, she’d gladly pay.

She offers this, knowing that I’m such a “guy” that there’s no way I’ll let her pay the difference. She knows I’ll shut up, pay the

extra $85 then watch her dream sweet dreams all the way home.

Don’t worry about it, I mumble. I click the “book flight” button and kiss the 85 smackers goodbye.

Eighty-five bucks. At current exchange rates, that’s 1,020 pesos.

As I complete the transaction, another window pops up. “It says I can request a seat,” I tell her.

“What seat are you in and I’ll see if I can get one next to you.”

“I think my ticket says 27C. It’s on the aisle,” she says.

I study the seating diagram. Both 27A, the window seat, and 27B the middle seat were open. I briefly consider selfishly taking the window seat, but that would leave 27B, the middle one, open and on a crowded flight, someone would be seated between us.

This was turning out to be perfect, just perfect. I end up paying an extra 85 bucks, 1,020 pesos, and I don’t even get the window seat.

So, I be the good guy and click on 27B, the middle seat, so that we’re sitting right next to each other.

Two days later, my wife tells me about the one teensy, weensy little alteration she made on the flight home.

“Oh, I switched seats,” she says while smiling at me disarmingly. “I moved to the window seat, 27A. I figured as along as you wanted the middle, I might as well take the window.”

Perfect. This trip is just going to be perfect.