Brides 2015 by New Times Media Group, San Luis Obispo

BRIDES ��

There's no one way to be a bride (or groom). Go geeky [6] [6], invite a friend to perform your ceremony [24] [24], have a courthouse ceremony [27] [27], or—heck—get married in Costco if you want [14]

A NEW TIMES SPECIAL PUBLICATION

pen up any bridal magazine or join an online wedding community and odds are you’ll be offered the opportunity to take a quiz to determine exactly what kind of bride or groom you are. Classic? Vintage? Modern? Rustic? Rockabilly? Nerdy? The reality is that not all couples fall neatly into a handful of generic categories. Maybe you really would like a classic wedding but with a few nerdy twists to acknowledge that aspect of your personality as a couple. Or perhaps you want to match a rockabilly dress with a rustic setting and some nerdy party favors thrown in for good measure. Whatever type of bride and groom, or bride and bride, or groom and groom you happen to be, our goal is to help you make the most of the experience. Ashley Schwellenbach managing editor

BRIDES2015 SAY YES TO A NERD WEDDING

Publishers

DIY WEDDINGDAY HAIR

Executive Editor

Bob Rucker Alex Zuniga

Ryan Miller

MY BIG FAT COSTCO WEDDING

Managing Editor

EXPRESS YOURSELF

Ashley Schwellenbach

BY THE POWER VESTED IN FRIENDS ROMANCE AT THE COURTHOUSE WEDDINGDAY DISASTERS

Art Director Alex Zuniga

Assistant Art Director Colin Tucker

27 30

Editorial Designer

Marketing & Events Coordinator Dora Mountain

Contributors Ashley Schwellenbach Glen Starkey Jono Kinkade Rhys Heyden Colin Rigley Jessica Peña David Minsky

Graphic Designers Brendan Rowe Eva Lipson Leni Litonjua Dora Mountain Colin Tucker

Colin Tucker Leni Litonjua

cover design by Colin O'Shaughnessy Tucker > photo by Kaori Funahashi > hair and makeup by Christine Thomas (Salon Lux), Maggie Lewelling (Salon Lux), Cory Lund (Salon 544), and Jaci Lewelling > models (l-r): Nicole Hadley, Hayley Cain, Brassy Steamington, and Pattea Torrence

Photographer Kaori Funahashi

Proofreader Andrea Rooks

Account Manager Colleen Garcia

Advertising Executives Jason Gann Rhonda O’Dell Megan Shehan Tracey Joyner Scuri Katy Gray Heather Welsh Elisa Baro Kimberly Rosa Georgia Shore Louise Gardner

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PHOTO COURTESY OF TRISHA SCHULTZ

JUST DO IT Trisha and Matthew went both nerd and DIY with their wedding.

DO YOU, NERD, TAKE THIS GEEK? Nerd weddings rule; here’s why

BY COLIN RIGLEY

t was a hot, sunny day when Carol Lynn Rose and her soon-to-be husband, Dan Phillips, cut into their own wedding ceremony. “Dan interrupts the wedding and says, ‘Wait a minute. We’re going to change things up a bit. But don’t go anywhere; we’re going to be right back,’” she explained to New Times. The two ran behind a screen they had erected to shield themselves from the guests. Once obscured, Carol and Dan began to change. As they did, just for show, they tossed items in the air so it would look to the guests like a frantic cartoonish scenetransformation was happening out of view. They flung a Dodgers cap, a rubber chicken, and a few nighties and negligees just for effect. At one point, Dan flung his shirt in the air forgetting that the rings were still in his pocket. They flew out. But the

way Carol tells the story, it was less a catastrophe and more an addition to the antics. The pair came out from behind the screen in costumes from the movie The Princess Bride. (Spoiler alert: If you haven’t seen the movie—which you should correct immediately—much of what follows will not make sense.) Carol dubbed herself Princess Rose Petal, and Dan went as the Dread Pirate Phillips. As they walked back to continue the ceremony, Carol remembers a friend shouting, “Have fun storming the castle!” “And it was perfect,” she said. The crowd was immediately in on the joke and chimed in with the officiant with the opening line: “Mawwiage.” It was Carol’s second marriage. She and Dan had met when they were each in their 50s, and she said there was less pressure to go the traditional

route. Asked if she prefers a more traditional wedding or an off-beat nerdy one like the Princess Bride theme, she said emphatically that nontraditional was the best way to go. “Having a theme like that, I really feel that it made people feel so comfortable, and they said that was the best wedding they’d ever been to and they had them most fun,” she said. But if you’re going to have a single theme at your wedding—Carol said her theme only lasted through the ceremony—be sure to keep it consistent and plan ahead, according to CJN Event Planning owner Jamie Neutill. “Try to carry the theme throughout the entire wedding, not just including decorations,” Neutill said in an email response to New Times. “But incorporate the theme into the menu; offer your guests signature drinks that go with the theme.”

And be sure to plan ahead, Neutill added: “Give yourself plenty of time to plan and work through details, as it might be harder to find supplies or vendors to meet needs/desires.” Sometimes, though, you just have to do it yourself. That’s how Trisha Schultz and her now-husband Matthew approached their wedding, which incorporated a myriad nerdy and do-it-yourself elements. “Instead of the wedding march, we played the throne room theme from Star Wars, and as we left the ceremony, the Back to the Future theme played,” Trisha said by email. “We entered the reception to the 'Imperial March'. The officiant read the ceremony out of a hardbound copy of The Lord of The Rings book with his script stuck inside.” Trisha and Matthew’s wedding also included a DIY photo booth filled with NERD continued page 9

BRIDES2015

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BRIDES2015 NERD from page 6

Star Wars and Marvel Comics props; comic-themed coloring books for the kids; a juke box; and a self-made cake themed after the Fremont Theater in San Luis Obispo. Instead of tossing a garter, Matthew tossed a stuffed Wookiee. “We took the traditions we liked from other weddings and put our own spin on them, and left out the boring/ awkward traditions that we couldn’t stand, like the wedding march and the garter toss,” Trisha said. Asked if she had any advice for throwing such a wedding, particularly with so many handmade elements, Trisha recommended dropping a little extra cash and hiring a day-of coordinator. For everything else, she said to plan well ahead and try to get all the elements done early, leaving other items like the cake toward the end. “Choose the things that are most important to you to DIY yourself and come up with a schedule to make sure you get those done,” Trisha said. Even with a planner, Neutill recommended that it might be necessary to incorporate a few items you build yourself. “Custom-made DIY decorations might be necessary as the standard vendors might not be able to meet needs/desires due to unique theme,” she said. In fact, Trisha and Matthew’s wedding was such a hit, the couple’s story and photos made it on the website Offbeat Bride. Trisha also had one last bit of advice: “If you decide to use disposable dishes/cutlery, don’t use compostable utensils,” she said. “It’s a nice thought, but everyone’s forks were snapping all throughout dinner! It did make for some funny stories, though.” ∆ Senior Staff Writer Colin Rigley would be a nerd if he were smarter, but he remains a proud dork. He can be reached at crigley@newtimesslo.com.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF TRISHA SCHULTZ

GEEK CHIC Want to give guests a good time at your wedding? How about a DIY photo booth filled with nerdy props? You might get results like this one, featuring bride Trisha Schultz and her childhood friend Christina Claxton.

BRIDES2015

A HAIRY SITUATION

PHOTOS BY KAORI FUNAHASHI

Two easy DIY styles from top SLO salons

BY JESSICA PEÑA

ccording to a very thorough Google search, the average American wedding costs an estimated $30,000. Those must be some mighty hors d’oeuvres and fancy place settings, because that’s a hefty chunk of change. Luckily, there are some arenas in which you can save. Hair is definitely one of them. That’s why I asked hairstylists from two of SLO’s top salons to offer their take on some quick, easy, do-it-yourself styles to suit the occasion.

CURLY CUE For this more traditional updo, begin by using to a curling iron to make soft curls. SAY IT, DO SPRAY IT Finish up the style with a coat of hairspray for extra sheen and stability.

TRADITIONAL The Bladerunner Salon & Day Spa Stylist: Yessie Ovalle 1 Prep the hair, spray heat protectant, and curl your hair to make it easier to put up. 2 Section your hair three ways and leave all hair from the ear forward out. 3 Grab your hair up in half, creating volume at the top, and pin. 4 Now pin the hair up in small curls and pin curls. 5 When you get to the front, curl that hair away from your face, leaving some bangs out to frame your face (if needed). 6 Pin that hair back into the style. 7 Spray it with a shine spray 8 Voila!

PINPOINT The next step includes some serious bobby pin work. Stylist Yessie Ovalle used 25 for our model Giselle!

BOHEMIAN Bluebird Salon and Spa Stylist: Lindsay Culver 1 Start with clean, dry hair. 2 Create a deep side part above left or right eyebrow. 3 Spray roots with aerosol hairspray. 4 Lightly tease roots for body and texture. 5 Make a ponytail at nape of neck. 6 Fishtail braid the ponytail (twostrand braid) using smaller pieces for a more dramatic effect. 7 Tie the end with a clear elastic band. 8 Cut the elastic at the nape out of hair. 9 Carefully remove some face-framing pieces to soften the look. 10 Adorn with a delicate flower crown. ∆ Contact Arts Editor Jessica Peña at jpena@newtimesslo.com. DIY HAIR continued page 12

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BRIDES2015 PHOTOS BY KAORI FUNAHASHI

DIY HAIR from page 10

BUMBLE BUNCH Stylist Lindsay Culver used Bumble and Bumble Dryspun Finish to prep the hair and give it texture.

LUSCIOUS LOCKS For this bohemian style, the longer the hair, the better.

DIY HAIR continued page 13

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BRIDES2015 PHOTOS BY KAORI FUNAHASHI

DIY HAIR from page 12

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THE FREEZER SECTION Robert and Meredith Bonilla tied the knot with a unique supermarket wedding in Santa Maria’s Costco

PHOTO COURTESY OF PATRICK ANG PHOTOGRAPHY

NOT YOUR AVERAGE WEDDING More than 150 friends and family were invited to the Bonilla’s Costco wedding, which was held even while employees were busy stocking the shelves for the holiday rush.

BY DAVID MINSKY

obert Bonilla was walking down the frozen food section at the Costco in Santa Maria. It was Dec. 21, 2013, days before Christmas and the aisles were crowded with shoppers eagerly stacking their carts full of those gigantic Costco-sized containers of food for their big holiday meals. He was prepping for a different sort of big meal and gathering all the fixings for a company barbecue. Trekking through the warehouse aisles, Robert passed a woman he noticed on three separate occasions. He rounded the corner to the seafood section, and there she was again. That time, they locked eyes. It was love at the first sign of frozen shrimp.

Her name was Meredith. One year later, the couple that met in one of Costco’s frozen food aisles would tie the knot in the very same spot. Their wedding made international news because, as it turns out, getting married in Costco, according to Bonilla, isn’t a common occurence. But, then again, neither is meeting the love of your life next to freezers full of bagged seafood. As Robert recalled it, he saw that Meredith was wearing a slick pair of cowboy boots with six shooters imprinted onto the back of them. He said that the glass-doored aisle was where he finally mustered up the courage to pay her a compliment. “And from around the corner I say,

‘Oh, nice boots!’ I’d seen her from behind. I didn’t know who she was,” Robert said. Meredith thanked him for the compliment. Then, Meredith said, the two started comparing their groceries. “He looked at my cart and goes, ‘What are you doing, feeding a horse?’ And I had a huge bag of carrots and apples I was going to juice. I said, ‘No I’m juicing.’ And so I just said something to him and noticed after passing three times that he had a bunch of food and foil.” She asked him if he owned a restaurant. He said he was only volunteering for a barbecue and asked if she wanted to help. She tried to avoid the question, but Robert just got straight to it.

“Oh, well, what about your husband?” he said. “I have no husband,” Meredith replied. And that fateful door opened. Meredith remembered telling Robert she had just moved to Santa Maria from Colorado. The conversation progressed from “Where are you from?” to “What are you doing for Christmas?” to where they would meet again. According to Robert, that next meeting was in San Luis Obispo for some more shopping. They met for breakfast at the Madonna Inn not too long after. A date at Jocko’s in Nipomo soon followed. Then, they visited each other’s churches, and, of course, they COSTCO continued page 16

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COSTCO from page 14

also made several trips to Costco as the couple’s relationship blossomed beyond the aisles of a chance supermarket romance. THE MOMENT A little less than a year after first sight, just before Robert left on a hunting trip with a friend to Colorado, he asked the Santa Maria Costco manager about the possibility of getting married there. That was on Sept. 21, 2014. “I was like, ‘Hey I’m thinking about asking the girl you’ve been seeing me [with] at Costco … I’ve been thinking about asking her to marry,” Robert said. The manager flat out told him that it was not very likely. But after Robert returned from the mountains of Colorado, he checked his phone messages and heard one from the Costco manager, who announced himself as their “wedding coordinator” in the voice message. After hearing that, Robert said he knew he was in and made plans to propose to Meredith on a Sunday. They went into Costco in need of items for a barbecue. The two separated, and Robert went to go pick out the meat, but he and Meredith agreed to rendezvous near the salad aisle. He tried to intercept her path near the frozen shrimp. “I figured I could get to the shrimp

area and put in the shrimp the note, ‘I love you, will you marry me?’” he said. But she was too quick, had already passed that part of the aisle, and Robert noticed that she didn’t grab the bag of shrimp he’d attached his note to. Meredith said she remembers Robert telling her to go back and get the right shrimp. “So I get back over there, and I’m, like, in this cooler, and I look down, and there’s a note that says ‘Will you marry me?’” Meredith said. “And I turned around, and I said ‘Yes!’” But, the question every engaged couple struggles with soon followed: Where were they going to get married? Meredith said Ron told her they could tie the knot right there in Costco if that’s what she wanted. They already had management’s blessing, and she was all for it. She said she’d heard stories about people getting married in warehouse stores like Lowe’s and Home Depot, but she never expected for her and Robert to be one of those couples. “I read those stories before where people have gotten married in different department stores or warehouses,” Meredith said, but Robert said he remembers that Meredith said she always wanted to get married on the beach. “Everybody can get married on the beach,” he said. “But not everybody can get married in a Costco.”

THE WEDDING After the engagement, the couple turned the wedding planning around pretty quickly. Between the end of September and Dec. 21, 2014, that was all they did. They kept everything simple. Meredith ordered her dress on Amazon. “I didn’t have time to go into a dress shop, and I didn’t want to go through the process,” Meredith said. “I thought if I didn’t like it, I would just return it.” But she never had to. The dress was a near-perfect fit and only needed a few alterations. Meredith picked out a ring custom-made out of a horseshoe nail, took the ring to a jeweler in town, and had them inlay diamonds into white gold that looked like that horseshoe nail ring. The ring looks as if a blacksmith wrapped a heated nail around a rod, forming it into a ring. The point of the nail comes back around through the head of the nail and that’s where the diamonds are. But she found out later that she could have gotten her dress and ring from Costco, too. “You can pretty much plan a whole wedding from Costco,” Meredith said. It was hard to plan the ceremony around the hustle and bustle of the holidays. It just so happened that Meredith and Robert got married on one of the busiest shopping days of the year—right before Christmas. The ceremony took place after hours, and there were still customers in

the store shopping. Employees were busy restocking the shelves. The aisle where Robert and Meredith met was cluttered with employees driving forklifts, so they held the ceremony the next aisle over, which turned out to be wider and was still in the frozen section. Meredith was even wearing that same pair of boots with the guns stitched on the back of them. Because they couldn’t hold the wedding until after the store closed, the Bonillas did things backwards, holding the reception and dinner before the ceremony. The reception was held at the Foxenwood Tennis and Swim Club’s clubhouse in Santa Maria starting at 3 p.m. It was a big Filipino dinner with large hams, sweet breads, pork adobo, lumpia, and several dozen tamales. The multitude of wedding cakes were made at the Madonna Inn. Everybody feasted and the crowd eventually made its way to Costco later that evening. Almost 200 well-dressed guests, including curious employees watching from the nearby bakery, saw the couple exchange vows. In true warehouse box-store fashion, Costco supplied wooden pallets, which were stacked on top of each other to create the altar. The store also supplied poinsettias to line the aisle. As the wedding started, everybody closed in on the poinsettias. Both Robert and Meredith were a little nervous at first. COSTCO continued page 18

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CosTCo from page 16

“The whole day was leading up to something,” Meredith said. The couple exchanged their vows swiftly and promptly left the warehouse. The entire ceremony took less than an hour, according to the Bonillas, who said that the whole thing cost around $3,000. “It was unique,” Meredith said. “We never thought it would go as far as it did,” Robert said. “We just wanted to get married.” The honeymoons—yup, more than one—soon followed. The Bonillas initially went to Disneyland in Anaheim, spending that first honeymoon with family. Then, earlier this year, they took a second honeymoon for themselves and went to Hawaii for a week.

PHOTO COURTESY OF PATRICK ANG PHOTOGRAPHY

LovE, PaRt DEux Both Robert and Meredith thought they’d never be getting married again.

LovE, PaRt DEux Having been single for years after getting married earlier in their lives, both Robert and Meredith never thought they’d be getting hitched again. Over the years following the divorce, Robert frequently vacationed in Hawaii by himself, and his cousin constantly tried to hook him up with nice Filipino girls, or ask him if he’d brought a girl fishing with him lately. Meredith turned out to be that girl Robert was searching for. She just seemed to fit in with everybody, Robert said. Three months into dating, Robert said that even his

CosTCo continued page 19

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BRIDES2015 COSTCO from page 18

friends seemed to know that she was the one. Robert’s friend Jorge Chavez offered to do the marriage rites, which he eventually did at the Bonilla’s Costco wedding. “She’s fun, a great companion SUPERMARKET SWEEP Robert and Meredith said they paid around $3,000 for their wedding at Costco.

and we really haven’t had any arguments,” Robert said. “It almost makes me cry, I’m so happy.” ∆ Contact Santa Maria Sun Staff Writer David Minsky at dminsky@santamariasun.com. PHOTO COURTESY OF PATRICK ANG PHOTOGRAPHY

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BRIDES2015

MAKE IT UNIQUE!

Want people to remember your wedding? Be creative!

BY REV. DR. GLEN STARKEY

s an ordained Doctor of Divinity (from the Universal Life Church … yeah, I know, not that impressive), I’ve presided over my fair share of weddings (not to mention car and bike blessings) with all sorts of different themes, and I’ve also been to quite a few weddings as a guest and even made it through my own wedding, so while I wouldn’t call myself a wedding expert, for a middle-aged dude, maybe I know a bit more than most guys in my demographic. Now that I’ve established my bona fides, let me tell you what makes a wedding memorable: unusual stuff, fun stuff, and maybe even weird stuff. It’s the little things people remember, and obviously allowing guests to take home a memento they might really cherish—like photos of themselves from a photo booth, for instance—goes a long way in making your wedding special to your guests. The online world is replete with unique ideas, everything from a confetti bar or temporary tattoos designed specifically for your event. Asking your guests to invest themselves in your future can also be fun. I attended one wedding in which guests were asked to write advice notes to be opened in the future. If you weren’t married or just married, you could write a note and put it in one of the “one year” envelopes. If you’d been married for two to five years, you were asked to write a note and put it in a “five year” envelope, and so on. Right up through couples who’d been married for decades: “10,” “25,” and “50.” As the couple opens the increasing older notes, they can recall their special day and those who attended. It’s also nice to remember those who couldn’t attended, maybe due to health or travel restrictions. Some couples like to take photos with placards reading “Hello Grandma!” or whatever. I’ve also seen cute wedding photos of the bridal party members holding chalkboards with how they met the bride or groom (“In college,” “On a trip to Hawaii,” “seventh grade,” “She’s my sister,” etc.). You can also have fun with the guest book! How about an operational vintage typewriter loaded with a long scroll of paper (that’s how Jack Kerouac wrote On the Road) that guests can type their names and notes on. If you want to get people to mingle,

UNUSUAL continued page 22

PHOTOS BY KAORI FUNAHASHI

BRIDES2015

UNUSUAL from page 21

you can make up bride or groom badges to be worn by guests and play a game in which one side needs to find out more about the other. Where did she grow up? What was her first team sport? Has he ever gone deep-sea fishing? What’s that weird scar under his chin from? Church weddings, especially ones with a religious connection, frequently come with a program explaining what hymns will be sung or what scripture will be read, but there’s no reason a secular wedding can’t have a program with the sequence of events as well as trivia about the bride and groom. After the service is over and the fun begins, one way to make sure your guests are happy with the DJ or band is to allow them to make song requests when they return the RSVP invitations. That way the DJ can be sure to have the music on hand. And what are you going to do with all those wedding cards? Some people bind them into a book, but my wife got a heart-shaped paper punch and punched out little hearts and glued them in a pattern on a large piece of paper and framed it. It’s pretty freaking cute, and a nice reminder of all the love our guests showed us. Be creative, have fun, and remember to breathe! It’s your special day, and you can do whatever you want because you rule! ∆ Glen Starkey is a New Times staff writer. Contact him at gstarkey@ newtimesslo.com. PHOTOS BY KAORI FUNAHASHI

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BRIDES2015

BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME

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BRIDES2015

BY ASHLEY SCHWELLENBACH f I’m being completely honest— which I’m probably not supposed to do in a special issue dedicated to couples tying the knot—most weddings bore me senseless. It’s not just the flutter of virginal white tulle and lace. It’s not just the patriarchal custom of the father transferring possession of his daughter to the groom. It’s the repetition of the same words you’ve heard dozens of times before, the formulaic optimism, the faintly archaic expressions and promises that feel out of touch with the modern world. At this point, you’re thinking, “If you’re going to criticize an institution that’s been around almost as long as humans, you’d better have a pretty good alternative.” The thing is, I do. If, like me, you’re not a big fan of the überreligious ceremony with somewhat dated terminology, you always have the option of crafting your own ceremony—or asking a friend to do it for you. So far I’ve performed two marriage ceremonies for my friends. Neither couple was religious. Neither couple wanted the standard ceremony. I was ordained for free through Universal Life Church, which boasts on its website that it’s ordained more than

20 million ministers, and that’s really all it takes in California. It’s becoming increasingly common for people to tap friends and relatives to officiate their weddings. New Times’ own Glen Starkey has performed two weddings. Last October a friend from high school officiated another friend’s wedding; she quoted Princess Bride and the Friends episode when Joey marries Chandler and Monica, and all the guests were in stitches. Of course, you probably don’t want to go with the friend who overindulges in alcohol at exactly the wrong time or hyperventilates at the thought of public speaking. And it might be best to avoid the friend who’s recently broken up with the love of his or her life. For my own foray into vested power, I was determined to pay proper tribute to my friends’ relationship. My goals were twofold: Make the guests laugh and make the guests cry. For the last wedding I performed, in Los Osos in September, the couple didn’t have much in the way of guidelines and essentially gave me carte blanche to write and say whatever I wanted, which was really exciting—but also terrifying. The problem with being able to do OFFICIANT continued page 26

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OFFICIANT from page 25

anything was that I could literally do or say anything, and I needed to develop a framework to keep the ceremony at least somewhat grounded. I decided that the best framework for a wedding was the couple’s love story, so I sent Maeva and Aileen some questions. The first batch they were supposed to answer together. How long would you like the ceremony to last? And are there any quotes, poems, lyrics, or blessings you know you’d like included? The question of how long to make the ceremony is a particularly important one. The guests were standing for Maeva and Aileen’s ceremony, and people typically don’t like being made to stand for hours on end. Also, a lot of weddings operate on a tight schedule. The next set of questions was considerably longer, and I told the couple that they had to each answer independently and couldn’t conspire or consult one another when answering. These were the questions: • When and how did you meet? • What first attracted you to her? • What was your first date? • Do you have a song? • What’s your favorite thing about

her? • What’s the thing that surprised you the most as you got to know her? • Describe the moment when you realized, “Fuck, I really hope I’m stuck with this person for a long time.” • Any nicknames I should know about? • So what were the circumstances surrounding the proposal? • Tell me about that gym membership: Which gym? Does one of you take classes there? • Where do you see yourselves in five years? Ten? Fifty? The answers to these questions were so poignant, so filled with love and wonder that they had found each other, that I started to tear up. Their story would be the framework for the ceremony. Rather than do all the talking myself, I decided to surprise Aileen and Maeva by asking their friends and family to read quotes and poems and song lyrics that had been preselected and fit within the scope of what I had been talking about. I dredged through every silly, mushy love quote I could find and pasted them into a single document. There are plenty of resources online dedicated to helping couples find

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quotes for their wedding, ranging from more traditional, religious content to whacky television-inspired fare and pop-culture references. I then began covertly emailing and Facebook messaging their various friends, some of whom I had never met and felt a little awkward approaching. But everyone was so happy to participate—in the same way that I felt honored and excitedly nervous to share their day with them. The quotes were all over the place. I got the ball rolling by quoting from Calvin and Hobbes. My boyfriend, Colin, who was also the photographer for the wedding, quoted Albert Einstein. One of Maeva’s attendants read from the poet Andrea Gibson. Another of Maeva’s friends quoted 30 Rock. The subject matter was love, and pooping. There was a passage from The Velveteen Rabbit, a rant against marriage from the movie Frida, concluding with an exceptionally sappy quote that Maeva and Aileen had given me in response to the questions that I had sent them. We were poignant, sappy, irreverent, and absurd. We touched on their love of reading and ostriches, their shared plans to travel. And the total ceremony time was less than 15 minutes. I should add that even if you

happen to have a friend capable of writing and delivering an eloquent ceremony, an officiant often helps organize a wedding in the absence of a designated wedding coordinator. So if you’re going the DIY route and are planning on asking a friend to perform the ceremony, it would be helpful to agree beforehand whether that friend will also play a larger role in the overall organization (namely shepherding the wedding party, helping people figure out where to stand, etc.). Mostly, though, remember that the sky’s the limit. I happen to find Kill Bill insanely romantic and an entirely appropriate wedding reference. You might disagree, and that’s OK. The point is to reflect your unique tastes and story as a couple. ∆ Managing Editor Ashley Schwellenbach swoons when the Bride asks Bill if he’s ready. Send comments to aschwellenbach@newtimesslo.com.

Get licensed To become ordained by Universal Life Church online for free, visit themonastery.org. Visit the section titled “Performing a Wedding Ceremony: A Three-Step Guide.”

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BRIDES2015

MARRIAGE, YOUR WAY

Civil ceremonies offer a unique alternative wedding format for SLO County couples

BY RHYS HEYDEN

hough the small corner room at the San Luis Obispo County Clerk-Recorder’s office may not look like much, it’s actually played host to more weddings than any other locale in the county. Amid the fluorescent lights, handful of banquet chairs, and tasteful fauxfloral arch, hundreds of SLO County residents and visitors tie the knot every single year. “It’s good to let people know there’s an option separate from all the pomp and circumstance,” said Julie Rodewald, a longtime county clerkrecorder. “It can still be special even if it happens at the County Government Center.” Rodewald, who retired from her post at the end of 2014 after more than 20 years of service, estimates that she’s personally officiated more than 100 weddings during her tenure, and her office has played host to thousands of matrimonies during that same period. The Clerk-Recorder’s office is responsible for issuing all marriage licenses in the county, but also offers the option to perform “civil ceremonies” in-house for the bargain price of $45 (plus $20 for a providing a witness, if needed). According to Rodewald, many couples of all types take the county up on that offer. Though the county has issued between 1,731 and 2,029 total marriage licenses every year since 2007, a significant chunk of those licenses has been for in-house ceremonies—between 243 and 463 every year, in fact. “It was a really nice, quick little ceremony,” recalls Tanner Scott of Atascadero, who married his wife Amber at the Clerk-Recorder’s office back in May 2013. “My wife is an amazing artist, and we are surrounded by color all the time—we paint on just about everything—so we just wore jeans and a couple of tie-dyes we made together to the wedding. “Immediately after the ceremony, when we were leaving the parking garage, two beautiful macaws flew overhead with the most amazing reds and blues,” Scott said. “We didn’t get doves—we got big colorful tie-dye birds! It was a magical moment.”

Even though civil ceremonies are often stuck with the stereotype of being drab, unimaginative, or unromantic, those who are involved with the practice say that just isn’t true. “Every wedding is a story and also a little window into that couple’s life,” said Mary MacKenzie, a volunteer deputy commissioner of civil marriages who’s been officiating weddings since 2009. “It’s fun, and it’s worthwhile to officiate. I always say doing these weddings is the most fun that anybody could have, because almost everybody is happy.” MacKenzie said she was looking for a volunteer job after retiring to SLO County, and she started filling in at the Clerk-Recorder’s office after responding to a newspaper ad. She’s one of three volunteer “deputy commissioners” authorized by the county to perform civil ceremonies on a recurring basis in-house, though anyone can be “deputy for a day” via a county program of the same name. “Every once in a while you have a couple and you wonder why they’re getting married, but mostly it’s a good time for everyone,” MacKenzie said. “It’s efficient, too—I can do five weddings in an hour if everyone cooperates and they don’t take too many pictures.” Fritzi Cole of Los Osos is one of the other deputy commissioners, and she’s been performing ceremonies since October 2012. “I’m a nurse by training and vocation, but this is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done,” Cole said. “It’s so neat to be yourself and express your wedding without constraints or societal rules.” When asked if she remembers any particularly spectacular ceremonies, Cole cited a wedding that featured an impromptu violin player; one that had a participant Skype in from Edinburgh, Scotland; and a same-sex couple finally married after waiting for more than 40 years. “Civil ceremonies can have such a cold, clinical, and sterile connotation, but the entire office is completely warm and friendly,” Cole added. “It’s just super.”

COURTHOUSE continued page 28

TYING THE COURTHOUSE KNOT! Surrounded by family and friends, groom Gorani Reyes and bride Yuliana Salas tied the knot on Christmas Eve 2014 at the SLO County Clerk Recorder's Office.

27 PHOTO BY KAORI FUNAHASHI

BRIDES2015

COURTHOUSE from page 27

One of the major trends with civil ceremonies—to which Cole, MacKenzie, and Rodewald all alluded—has been their importance to same-sex couples. With the back-and-forth over Proposition 8 playing out between 2008 and 2013, numbers of in-house SLO County civil ceremonies fluctuated drastically due to people looking to get married quickly. Statistics from the county show that the number of in-house ceremonies jumped from 287 in 2007 to 336 in 2008. Gay marriage was legal in California for roughly five months in 2008. “We had a minister from the Unitarian Universalist church come on the day it was declared legal in 2008, and there was a line out the door,” Rodewald said, tearing up at the memory. “I think we had something like 20 weddings … it was a special day.” In the year 2013, during which gay marriage was once again legalized in late June, the county conducted 463 in-house ceremonies, as compared to 321 in 2012. Ultimately, the practice of civil ceremonies may be less of a lucrative industry than its more traditional cousin, but it remains a unique and vital option for a wide variety of local couples.

GREAT SCOTT! Tanner and Amber Scott were married in a May 2013 civil ceremony that featured tiedye, jeans, and a pair ofmacaws.

COURTHOUSE continued page 29 PHOTO COURTESY OF TANNER SCOTT

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BRIDES2015 COURTHOUSE from page 28

Case in point: On Dec. 24 of 2014, groom Gorani Reyes and bride Yuliana Salas were married in a quiet ceremony in the ClerkRecorder’s office. As it happens, this wedding was one of four held in the office on Christmas Eve that year. As Deputy Clerk-Recorder Annie Bautista ran through the simple

ceremony in Spanish, the couple exchanged rings, said their vows, and had their first hug and kiss as husband and wife. It may not have been fancy, but Reyes and Salas were grinning as they gazed into each other’s eyes. ∆ Staff Writer Rhys Heyden can be reached at rheyden@newtimesslo.com.

PHOTO BY KAORI FUNAHASHI

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8 30

IT’S LIKE RAIN … The perfect day might not be as perfect as expected, but there are always silver linings

BY JONO KINKADE

f you’ve gone to a few weddings, you’ve probably got some anecdotes of wedding-induced headaches. This reporter has a few: getting packed into the San Luis Obispo Senior Center after rain caused a change of plans (the wedding turned out to be quite lovely, regardless); watching a preacher get so carried away with his preaching that he forgot to have the couple exchange their vows (then, at the end of the wedding, after the wedding party exited the building, he kept the audience in the room to explain that while drinking alcohol was not a sin, getting drunk was); or the old standby of getting food poisoning from the fettuccini alfredo as a child, then while on the airplane the following morning, vomiting all over your own shoes and having the flight attendant

pour ground coffee all over the point of contact to hide the smell before takeoff. Friends have shared stories of misplaced wedding bands; officiants calling the groom by the wrong name; and a portable propane heater catching on fire, almost burning the people sitting next to it. One recently married bride said that not only did her custom-fit wedding dress arrive two sizes too small, her bridesmaids were sent sequined cocktail dresses instead of the more autumn weddingappropriate dresses they’d ordered. Many of these mishaps can be corrected, however, and may become something people look back at and laugh about—or even marvel at their cunning abilities for improvisation. But some scenarios can extend for months after the wedding, becoming a quandary that puts the justmarried couple in a dilemma between following through with unresolved arrangements and just letting it go and enjoying a new marriage. In June of 2014, Grace Miller and Max Canaan got hitched on a ranch outside of San Luis Obispo. The two, both born and raised in San Luis Obispo, were rather shocked to see how expensive venues and services were in an area that’s become a hot

BRIDES2015 NOT ALL A BLUR Grace Miller

and Max Canaan asked their friends to give them photos they, as guests, took at the wedding. Some were clear, and some were blurry.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF GRACE MILLER

spot for couples seeking the idyllic country and vineyard settings. Instead, they decided to do things themselves, as opposed to spending tens of thousands of dollars on their wedding. “Normal people should be able to get married,” Canaan said. He doesn’t necessarily hold a grudge against the industry, however, and pointed out that he knows people who have been able to make a little money off of renting their ranch or providing another essential service.

After all, most of us probably know someone who makes a significant portion of their living—if not all of it—working weddings. So instead of paying a high price for peace of mind and going through a local wedding planner to arrange the slew of contractors, they decided to do it themselves and went to work. They arranged to have the wedding at a ranch owned by longtime family friends, where they spent several weekends cleaning up (removing DISASTERS continued page 31

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rat droppings from) the barn on the property to prepare it for the reception. Trash cans and other materials were collected for the event, and friends and family were mobilized to go thrift shopping to hunt down a list of items. Canaan, a welder, made handrails for the already-existing outhouse, and his mother collected mason jars to be used as cups for drinks. In most ways, it was a do-ityourself wedding. There were a few things Miller and Canaan didn’t mind paying for. They hired a caterer, Miller bought a lovely dress (not after a bit of an ordeal, however), and they eventually decided to hire a photographer. They second-guessed the photographer part at first, because, as per the area’s new premium wedding pricing scales, they were looking at potentially spending anywhere from $4,000 to $8,000. “I was looking to outsource or not have a photographer at all,” Miller said. A friend then recommended a Los Angeles photographer who would do it for $2,000. It wasn’t really in their budget, Miller said, but they decided to go for it anyway. The photographer (who Miller asked to remain unnamed) convinced the couple to do an engagement shoot, which Miller said went quite well. Then came the wedding day. Miller and Canaan explained that the day

was a little chaotic and rushed, as weddings can be, and not everything went the way they’d hoped, but they ended up married, food was eaten, and photographs were taken—and if the finished product looked like the engagement photos did, maybe everything would just be fine. As of press time, however, because of various wrinkles, Miller and Canaan hadn’t yet received the wedding photos taken last summer. But the current absence of any photographic documentation of the wedding was something Miller wanted to change. So in December of 2014, Miller decided to look to Facebook to ask friends for any photos they had of the ceremony and reception. Albums of photos taken from mobile phones—and a few from outdated digital cameras—came in, and now the two have some portraits. The photos are a bit candid at times, blurry at others, and the subjects aren’t always looking at the camera. Some captured a classic photobomb in the background. The cell phone snap shots will work, Miller said, and there’s a little bit of added character to boot, considering the personal touch—but she’s still looking forward to seeing the rest. “At the end of the day, everybody had a great time,” Miller said. “I had a great time.” ∆ Contact Staff Writer Jono Kinkade at jkinkade@newtimesslo.com.

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