APPROVEDPOSTPRINT 100003469PP AUST/NZ $9.95 INC GST TWITTER/MAXIM_AUSFACEBOOK/MAXIMAU WWW.MAXIM.COM.AUYOUTUBE/MAXIMAUSTRALIAINSTAGRAM/MAXIM_AUS FITNESS P. 42 ARE YOU A PULLERPUSHER?OR RELATIONSHIPS P. 72 INSIDE GHOSTINGWORLDTHEOF THE AUSSIE SOCIALINFLUENCERMODEL,ANDMEDIASTARYOUMUSTFOLLOW! P. 24 GETTING TO KNOW… Ariarne LEPINE F1 HAAS HOWPRINCIPALTEAMTOBUILDAGLOBALINTERNETEMPIREYOURGUIDETOPROPERTYINVESTMENT THE ESSENTIAL UPPER-BODY WORKOUT JULY 2022 ISSUE 132
CAR SERVICING 2016, 2017, 2019 MOST SATISFIED CUSTOMERS
6 MAXIM.COM.AU MACHINES FERRARI DAYTONA SP3, INDIAN SCOUT ROGUE, SEA DOO SWITCH, HX50 HELICOPTER AND RIVIAN R1T ELECTRIC PICKUP FORMULA ONE F1 TEAM PRINCIPAL GUENTHER STEINER COVER GIRL AUSSIE MODEL, SOCIAL MEDIA SENSATION AND INFLUENCER ARIANE LEPINE REAL ESTATE YOUR GUIDE TO PROPERTY INVESTMENT MAXIM MAXIMOFFICIALAUSTRALIAGIRLSOF2022CALENDARHEALTH&FITNESS THE ESSENTIAL UPPER-BODY WORKOUT, PLUS LONG DISTANCE RUNNING SPOTLIGHT INKED-UP U.S. INFLUENCER TABBATHA ROUX BUSINESS MULTIBILLIONAIRECHINA'SJACK MA TRAVEL COLOMBIAN LUXURY HOSPITALITY IN CARTAGENA WOMAN OF THE WORLD MEET MODEL, WRITER AND PSYCH GRADUATE KAELEIGH GILABERT RELATIONSHIPS INSIDE THE WICKED WORLD OF GHOSTING MODEL PROFILE FITNESS MODEL AND COMPETITORBODYBUILDINGSHAYNAHOLT CIGARS DAVIDOFF’S CHEFS RELEASE A TRUE GIFT FOR THE HAUT FUMEUR THE GIRL NEXT DOOR LOCAL ROMANCE AUTHOR AND SEX ADVICE COLUMNIST LIV ARNOLD SEX BE A BEDROOM HERO WITH TWO OF THE MOST POWERFUL SENSUOUS PRODUCTS TO DATE MAXIM OFFICIALAUSTRALIAWOMENOF THE WORLD 2022 CALENDAR 24 HOURS TO LIVE WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? FUNNYMAN, GREGG PROOP DISCUSSES HIS FINAL DAY ON EARTH 10 20 42 56 CONTENTS ISSUE 132 — JULY 2022 24 50 72 60 36 40 66 82 76 88 24 50 42 10 20 60 9494 96 98
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Santi (spintado@nuclear.com.au)Pintado Chairman and CEO, Biglari Holdings Inc. Mr. Sardar Biglari Senior Paralegal & Rights Manager Catherine Baxter © 2022 Nuclear Enterprises Pty Ltd and MAXIM Inc. Portions of MAXIM Australia and MAXIM New Zealand are reproduced from MAXIM’s United States edition and used by permission from the publisher. All rights reserved. The United States edition of MAXIM is published bi-monthly by MAXIM Inc. 268 W. 44th Street, 5th Floor, New York NY 10036. International editions of MAXIM are also published in Australia, Czech Republic, New Zealand, Slovakia, South Korea, Switzerland and Russia. MAXIM INTERNATIONAL ARIARNECOVERLEPINE PHOTOGRAPHED BY NEIL DIXON (IG: @NEILDIXONPHOTO) DoublePO+612-9363-1464Box230,BayNSW HollyReillyChrisBillShonaghAdrianaMichael(sales@nuclear.com.au)Dave(lshaddock@nuclear.com.au)Lukemaximaustraliamaxim_ausmaxim_ausmaximauwww.maxim.com.aumaxim@maxim.com.au1360ShaddockVanOosteromDownsDibWalkerVaretimidisSteadSullivanAdolfssonArtinstagramfacebookPhoneMailEmailWebtwitteryoutubeDirector National Advertising GamingManagingManagerDirectorFashionEditorGroomingEditorMotoringEditor&TechWriterStaffWriterSocialMedia 8 MAXIM.COM.AU
Seize the Day
Inspired by the past, Ferrari’s latest supercar combines modern tech and classic concepts..
By BILL VARETIMIDIS
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F
errari's latest Icona series special is a throwback to front-engined V12 Ferraris of the late ’60s and boulevard cruisers from the U.S.. But while today's Daytona SP3 may be inspired by the past, it’s also a futuristic interpretation of classic sports prototypes like the Monza SP1 and SP2 Iconas. At the heart is the 812 Competizione’s naturally aspirated mid-mounted 6.5 litre V12. The motor’s peak outputs are 618kW at 9250 rpm and 697Nm at 7250 rpm, making it the most powerful non-electric and most potent naturally aspirated V12 at Ferrari’s disposal. Along with an upgraded seven-speed dualclutch transmission, it accelerates from 0 to 100km/h in 2.95 seconds and tops 340km/h. Of course, being Ferrari, they needed to remove excess weight for performance purposes. They started by constructing the entire chassis and body shell with carbon-fibre derived from Formula 1 and the aeronautical industry, and also used titanium con rods, which are 40% lighter than steel. The result makes the SP3 the most aerodynamically efficient car ever built by Ferrari – without the use of wings or splitters.
Upon entry, both butterfly doors house air boxes that channel cool air into the side radiators, there’s an adjustable pedal box to comfort driver’s of all sizes, and the carbon fibre seats are integrated into the chassis – like in LaFerrari. In addition, this newcomer comes attack ready with Pirelli P Zero Corsa tyres (specifically for this model), and a new Dynamic Enhancer function which controls pressure on the brake calipers under hardcore cornering. Speaking of controls, drivers can control 80% of the car’s functions from the steering wheel alone, thanks to the Human Machine Interface (HMI) as seen in the SF90 Stradale, Ferrari Roma, SF90 Spider and 295 GTB. Ferrari will build just 599 examples, each of which will cost a bank draining AU$3.11 million. In reality, the car will spend its time driving on the streets of Malibu, or sitting in the garage of a wealthy collector. T
Engine: 6.5 naturally aspirated litre V12 Transmission: 7 speed dual clutch Power: 618 kW Torque: 697 Nm @ 7250 rpm Top Speed: 340 km/h 0-100 km/h: 2.85 seconds Price: $3.11 million 2022 DAYTONAFERRARISP3 MAXIM.COM.AU 11 Drivers can control 80% of the car’s functions from the steering wheel alone.
With modern inspired style and amenities, the Rogue brings a new spirit to the Scout lineup...
Inside Scout
L egendary onofknownMotorcyclesmanufacturerAmericanIndianhavebeentounleashsomethenastiestmotorbikestheplanet–appealing to riders and non riders alike. For 2022, they have managed to turn their iconic Scout model out in the most aggressive way yet: to produce the Scout Rogue. Promoting a minimalist design for a beefier appearance, the Rogue differs from the standard model with a blacked out 19-inch front wheel, keeping the look as aggressive as the handling. The single sportstyle seat curves with a raised lip to meet your backside, keeping you securely and comfortably planted even while you engage in a bit of Evel Knievel-type acceleration. The 1133cc V-twin comes at you with 94 horsepower (70 kW) at 8,000 rpm – more than enough push to get the 240 kg machine from A to B, while the single 298 mm floating rotor brake discs stop you with emphatic
BILL VARETIMIDIS 12 MAXIM.COM.AU MACHINES
By
MAXIM.COM.AU 13 ease. When it comes to the ride, suspension consists of a 41 mm telescopic fork up front, and dual adjustable piggyback shocks in the rear. Ground clearance is 129 mm –so avoiding any curbs is a must. The bikes will be available with smoked LED turn signals, a tachometer with LED shift light, mini ape hanger handlebars, and a tiny windshield to protect from the ever annnoying wind buffeting. Featuring black-out valve covers to match the dark fenders and matte-finish exhaust downpipes, the 2022 Indian Scout Rogue is mad obsessed with black on black on black. If that sounds like your clothing game, you're in luck. Indian Motorcycles are also launching a Rogue collection of men's and women's apparel to complement the Scout Rogue bikes' blacked-out style – bonus points if you use both at the same time. ENGINE: 1133cc liquid cooled v-twin TRANSMISSION: 6 speed gear drive POWER: 70 kW TORQUE: 97 Nm @ 5600 rpm DRY WEIGHT: 241 kg SEAT HEIGHT: 649 mm FUEL CAPACITY: 12.5 litres PRICE: $23,995 (ride away) 2022 SCOUTINDIANROGUE
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T he Sea-Doo has been around since 1968, but there's more of them to love than just their jet skis. For 2022, the veteran Canadian company introduces the Sea Doo Switch, a customisable hybrid fusion of jetski and party boat - and everything in between. Like a jetski, it has handlebars in place of a steering wheel, so naturally, controlling it is as intuitive as riding a bike. Simply throttle up or down, and utilise the brake and reverse system with a lever. With an innovative iBR steering system in place, tight cornering and docking is made that much easier if you're a pontoon amateur – especially helpful when all your mates are watching. The power behind the throttle starts with the 1630 Rotax ACE engine which produces 100 to 170 horsepower. With three driving modes (Sport, ECO, and Cruise), the dynamic jetski propulsion system provides more than enough agility and speed – especially for a pontoon. The trihull provides plenty of agility when cutting through the water, while at rest, the three pontoons provide great stability.
Readily equipped for all types of watersports, the Sea Doo Switch is changing the world of boating...
Using Sea-Doos' own LinQ modular hardware, the entire deck (excluding the helm) is made of interlockable configurable 'tiles' that can be changed to accommodate any adventure – with almost 100 layouts possible. This rapid change deck design can cater to a morning fishing trip, lunchtime picnic or an evening swim session. With three different sizes, ranging from 4.0 to 6.4 metres, the passenger limits range from five to nine. The entire range will be built with a beam of just 2.4 metres, making them easy to tow behind a car in Australia. This level of fun and flexibility doesn’t come cheap though, with the Sea-Doo Switch starts at $25,000. We say fill up the cooler – this ultimate summer flex is well worth it.
By BILL VARETIMIDIS
Switch it Up
By BILL
Heli-lujah Hill Helicopters is changing the game with their revolutionary HX50...
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Based in Birmingham, U.K., Hill Helicopters have launched their revolutionary aircraft, hoping to influence the aviation market the way Elon Musk did the electric autos. The game changer in question is the Hill HX50 – the world’s first private 'ground up' helicopter that customers 'build' themselves. The HX50 is powered by a fully electronically-controlled GT50 engine which produces 368 kW with a cruising speed of 260 km/h. When compared to competitor Robinson R44's cruising speed of 200 km/h, that's kinda fast. Add a top speed well over 260 km/h, and maximum range of 1296 km (5000 hours) - and it's fast and phenomenal. Hill also aims to make the user-friendly experience as intuitive as driving a car. Under panoramic windows and a skylight, the state-of-the-art digital cockpit comes with intelligent pilot support and an avionics flight management suite – with startup and shutdown done with a push of a button.
The HX50 is powered by a fully electronicallycontrolled GT50 engine which produces 368 kW with a cruising speed of 260 km/h.
The HX50 is priced at roughly $700,000 which compares with $900,000 for the Robinson R44 and $1.3 million for the R66. It is this combination of value, performance and style that has custom-happy customers worldwide excited to mod their own HX50. Join the queue - in 2023.
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With plans to partially involve their customers in the building process, Hill has started a program that allows customers input into more than 50% of their aircraft but not before studying through a two-week workshop alongside CAA (Civil Aviation Authority) approved staff. With a strong focuse on crashworthiness and stability, buyers can choose between light skid wheels for rugged terrain or retractable wheels suited for any landing surface except softies. Stunning to look at from every angle, this five seater has looks and performance on its side, but also price.
Pickup Artistry
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MACHINES
There’s something unparalleled about powering a four-wheel hunk of metal up a vertiginous mountain, crawling over boulders and making short work of ruts that would graveyard your traditional crossover. Dare I say Alpha Male Bolstering. Man and machine working in unison to traverse landscapes plucked from a spaghetti western. We’ve done it in hulking machinery bearing Land Rover, Jeep and Mercedes-AMG badges, their locking differentials grinding in battle with huge V8s gulping gallons of petrol in exchange for inches of land cleared. But it’s quite a sensation to experience it in utter silence. The only sound the grinding of rubber against rock, of friction and labouring metal — the result of batteries and electric motors in place of an internal combustion engine: i.e. the Rivian R1T, the first electric
The ravishing Rivian R1T is the first all-electric pickup to hit the streets...
By NICOLAS STECHER
MAXIM.COM.AU 19 pickup in America being delivered to eager futurists. With 754 horsepower, 826 lb-ft of peak torque, and a 0-60 sprint of three seconds, Rivian’s R1T will put a smile on your face. Hence excitement is high from early adaptors for trucks like the R1T because EVs have the potential to not just equal their ICE-powered peers, but actually to leap them — thanks to all that juice, plus the ability to scale a 45-degree mountain, wade through a river more than three feet deep, and transport some 1,760-lbs of payload. During our drive of the R1T we experienced exactly this, and were impressed with its innate off-road aptitude and general balance. This is aided by Rivian’s EV architecture, with a lower center of gravity than anything else drinking gasoline. The Launch Edition comes loaded with four motors and a 135 kWh battery pack that generates the Moab-chewing 754 horses and all that torque. Concerned with range? Don’t be, as the R1T also boasts over 300 miles of off-roading between recharges — and it can tow 11,000 lbs. While the R1T kills off-road, it’s no slouch on the tarmac. Its absurd 3.0-second 0 to 60 launch guarantees performance unlike any pickup you’ve ever piloted. Combined with its low center of gravity and hydraulic anti-roll suspension system, the R1T drives better than any pickup this side of the Raptor. Plus Rivian stacked its launch vehicle with tons of goodies. There’s even an optional tent and outdoor kitchen for plug-and-play adventuring. Sure, Tesla’s Cybertruck broke the internet (and its allegedly “shatterproof ” windows) when Elon Musk pulled the sheets off it back in late 2019, but it may be a minute before that totem of Tron design hits showrooms. Other ion-powered trucks like the Ford F150 Lightning and Hummer EV should be launching some time in spring. The Rivian R1T meanwhile is already being delivered into driveways. Other than its futuristic fascia, replete with vertical LED headlamps and horizontal lightbar, the R1T looks, drives and feels like a normal pickup. It makes just enough of a futurist statement without screaming Look at me! like Tesla’s entry. In a segment as traditional as this, it matters. With over US$3 billion in announced investment, and contracts with industry titans like Ford and Amazon, it’s important to note Rivian’s foundation is rock solid. Unlike many startups whose future might be cloudy, Rivian is here to stay — and play. T
When did you realise you might be onto a good thing? I think after the Barcelona test. I was optimistic with the development of the car last year but I didn’t know what the other ones [teams] are having. Our guys did a great job in the development phase, the improvements we made over time, but I had no idea what the other people are doing. Obviously in Barcelona we could already see the car isn’t bad. We didn’t get the best out of it because we had so many reliability issues but then at the Bahrain test I thought we were top-three. I didn’t know where we were. And then Bahrain race comes here, and we really knew because it’s reality then. And that’s very good. Then having Kevin back helped as well a lot to the team. How much have the results so far boosted morale at the team? Results like this you don’t need to do anything anymore. It does it all for itself, the morale. That is what the people in Formula One, if you want to be successful, this is what you’re driving on. Success and a race after like what we had after two years coming best of the rest team, it was OK we are back. And the guys just love it. They know why they get up now in the morning – to get points.
What’s team owner Gene Haas had to say about how the team is going? I think on one side he’s saying, yeah, you told me this was what you were going to do. And you guys did it very well. But, how can we do better? That’s Gene for you, you know.
The one who’s ridden the wave most of all is team boss Guenther Steiner, the no-nonsense operator whose ordinarily behind-the-scenes super-sweary rants have been made worldfamous by Netflix series Formula 1: Drive To Survive. Expletives aside, Steiner is one of the paddock’s good guys, with a big heart. So good to see Haas doing well again, Guenther. The opening race in Bahrain must have been such a relief for you? Absolutely. If you think it’s good, we think it’s even better. It’s good for the team; we had a few tough years. And hopefully they are in the past. But I think we learnt a lot out of that. And I think that’s why we are where we are now.
FORMULA ONE
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The 2022 F1 season came just in the nick of time for Haas. The American squad spent the better part of the last two seasons down the back of the grid, with last year a transition season to concentrate on the new era regulations car. It was a huge gamble, but one that paid off – with the team back at the head of the midfield, hoping for the chance at a lucky podium when the top teams slip up.
By STEWART BELL Above: Haas F1 Team driver Kevin Magnussen powers through this year's Spanish Grand Prix; Opposite: Guenther at the 2020 F1 Australian Grand Prix
TEAM PRINCIPAL
As Netflix viewers will know all too well, Haas F1 Team boss GUENTHER STEINER never minces his words. MAXIM catches up with him to talk about his squad’s return to the midfield…
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“We need to be always there. And it is realistic — we just need lady luck with us a little bit to achieve it.”
Kevin has targeted a podium, though not on pure pace. Is it realistic? I would say it’s realistic if you are in the right place at the right time, which means to be right behind the good teams so if they hit trouble or something we are there to pick up what they leftover. So we need to be always there. And it is realistic – we just need lady luck with us a little bit to achieve it. ■
What have you seen of Mick Schumacher development so far this year? I think he’s very interested, but the season is young so we need to give him a little bit more time to come up, because obviously now he’s confronted with a different reality. There’s Kevin, who is finishing fifth and eighth in the first two races, qualifying seventh and tenth, even with problems. So for Mick, it’s a reality check but it’s a good one because he’s got somebody who he can look up to and learn from. Above: Guenther doing what he does best as Haas F1 Team principal
AUTO FOCUS ON SINGAPORE
The Formula 1 Singapore Grand Prix 2022 will be held from September 30 to October 2. For more information go to singaporegp.sg
“After more than a decade of celebrating this spectacular event on the racing calendar we are looking forward to building on its success and working with Formula 1 as well as its partners to take the night race to greater heights,” said Mr Ong Beng Seng of Singapore GP.
In previous years, we’ve seen acts like The Killers, Dua Lipa, Calvin Harris, Ariana Grande, Queen + Adam Lambert, Imagine Dragons, Bon Jovi, Pharrell Williams and more, and 2019 saw a gigantic line-up with Muse, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Gwen Stefani and Swedish House Mafia topping the bill. Beyond the track, Singapore is a dream to get around and the city-state is world-renowned for its cuisine, celebrating its Malay, Indian and Chinese heritage. You cannot go wrong, whether you’re booking five-star or budget, and all with just a seven-hour flight from Sydney or Melbourne, or five from Perth. Go for it!
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Formula One makes its long-awaited return to Singapore this October for the sport’s original night race, with a new seven-year deal to keep the celebrated event at Marina Bay until at least 2028, ensuring that the party continues for a whole new generation of fans.
The event is a hugely popular one for Australians, and its recent confirmation comes at the perfect time – with all of us looking to book our first international trips, and get back to having fun, after a challenging two years living with the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. And Singapore is the place to be in October, with the city-state pumping in Grand Prix week. While the event promises more than just the pinnacle of motorsport, with fantastic hospitality and local cuisine, lots to see and do around the circuit, and a history of bringing in the hottest music acts.
The relationship was always very good from the beginning, from 2015, when we started the program. It’s just like now we are having an office inside Ferrari because that was logistically the easiest way to do it – that’s the only reason. This doesn’t increase the collaboration, because the collaboration is really guided by the FIA regulation and what you’re allowed to do. And we are not doing anything we shouldn’t be doing. It’s just logistically easier because some of the people working now for us they worked for Ferrari before, so basically they are in the same compound. They’re just entering via a different entrance to the building. At least they feel at home there instead of going outside and we would have to put a lot of infrastructure up so that they could work in a very good environment. How important was it to have Kevin Magnussen, an experienced hand, step in after Nikita Mazepin’s departure? It’s very important to have somebody experienced as we saw, because the car is good now. We need to get the best out of it, and it makes Mick’s job – I wouldn’t say easier – but at least he knows what the car is capable of and he needs to be capable of doing with it. So I think it’s a win-win for everybody in the team. The team now has got a driver, which was with us when we finished fifth in 2018. And for Mick, he’s now got a reference. He can learn out of it. And make his driving just progress quicker.
You’re keen to be pragmatic with upgrades this year, how much of a fine line will that be, to ensure the car remains competitive? That is what we want to control. There’s no point, under the budget cap, to introduce updates if they are not updates – if they are just like making new parts. So we will introduce them when we know they are giving us a performance increase in the car, and then we will introduce them. But I learnt in 2019 that just because we’re doing an update on race 10, then everyone works for race 10 for an upgrade, and maybe it’s only a few points on aero, and you spend lots of money for it. And you say what is this? So we need to make sure that whatever we develop in the wind tunnel gives us performance and then we will make it. But I’m against this, oh let’s go for the upgrades and do them because that’s what we have always done. No. Haas has an office at Ferrari’s Maranello HQ. How much more potential is there to unlock in terms of the relationship with Ferrari?
FORMULA ONE
24 MAXIM.COM.AU COVER GIRL ARIARNE Getting to know… The Australian model, influencer and social media star, you should be following, returns to MAXIM for her sensational cover feature debut… LEPINE Photography by NEIL DIXON Interview by SANTI PINTADO Hair by LINDA HA Make-up by ALEX POLVERINO
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26 MAXIM.COM.AU COVER GIRL wesome cover shoot, Ariarne, and a big welcome back to MAXIM. How does it feel the second time around? It’s really exciting and I’m so grateful to have this opportunity to work with MAXIM again. I had such a great time shooting with you! What did you love about this photo shoot? I really love working with Neil [Dixon, the photographer] as he always takes such great shots, and I really liked that the location was a different to the usual beach shots. Although, it’s currently winter here in Sydney, so I was trying to think warm thoughts the whole time! Well, as always, you look stunning. What’s the sexiest thing about you? My smile. And I definitely always feel my sexiest after a long day at the beach when I’m sun kissed. You grew up riding horses and competing in equestrian events, right? Ah, I love the old equestrian events! Unfortunately, I don’t ride anymore as keeping a horse is quite the expense –thanks mum and dad! But yeah, I love to go for a ride on the beach or through a paddock whenever the opportunity arises. Didn’t ever contemplate trying out for the Olympics? Definitely not! I’m not the best under pressure, so the thought of the Olympics would make me ill with nerves! Ever have any injuries or accidents while on horseback? I had a bad one when I was younger –I was bucked off and split my jaw open and gave myself a nasty concussion. Thankfully nothing worse though! Ouch. You were born in Sydney but moved to Queensland when you were very young. Now you’re back living in Sydney but your family is still in Queensland. So, the big question is: who do you go for when the rugby league State of Origin footy is on? The Maroons, of course!
Being an influencer, how do you keep your social media audience coming back for more? Dogs and fashion content – you can’t go wrong with these, right?! Would you ever date one of your online followers? Yeah, I wouldn’t see a problem with that, although I’m currently very happily in a relationship. What have you learnt about men over the years? Ooh, great question! Probably that men really, and I mean REALLY, can’t multitask when on the phone. That’s it – that’s all I have learnt! You’ve told us before that the way a man can win his way to your heart is with hot chips. Anything else?
Honestly, I’m not too sure if I would’ve followed the PT route. I’d like to think I’d be working in fashion, in some other capacity, if modelling didn’t work out. How do you stay looking so fit?
Last time we chatted, you hadn’t been back to see your family due to COVID. Have you managed to do so now? Yes, I was lucky enough to spend a few days with my family down in Osborn House in the Southern Highlands. It was a great getaway filled with tennis, amazing food and wine, spa treatments… the whole lot! My sister travels to Sydney frequently for work so I’m lucky enough to see her quite often, too. Have you been back overseas for your modelling career or otherwise? Unfortunately, all my plans to model overseas had to get put on hold because of COVID, but I’m hoping to go at the end of this year. You have a Cert III and IV in fitness – if you weren’t modelling would you be a PT?
Cute dogs, humour, kindness and he has to be OK with me having half my wardrobe on the floor at any given moment. If you had to take MAXIM on a date, what would it entail? Hawaii – attempting to surf, having hot chippies and hanging with lots of cute dogs. You down? We’re there with bells on! So, what do you like to do for fun? I like to think of keeping fit as a hobby – pilates and I really enjoy long walks to clear my head. Shameless TikToks, as well! What’s next for you? I’m hoping to move overseas and model in Europe. You’ll have to follow my journey! ■ a
Pilates, lots of walking, the occasional – and very bad – hit of tennis and I also have a PT who takes great care of me.
MAXIM.COM.AU 27 “He has to be OK with me having half my wardrobe on the floor at any moment.”given
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MAXIM.COM.AU 29 “I’m not the best under pressure, so the thought of the Olympics would make me ill with nerves!”
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MAXIM.COM.AU 31 “It’s towintercurrentlyhereinSydney,soIwastryingthinkwarmthoughtsthewholetime!”
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MAXIM.COM.AU 33 “I was bucked off and split my jaw open and gave myself a concussion.”nasty
COVER GIRL 34 MAXIM.COM.AU NAME: Ariarne Lepine BORN: March 31, 2000 HOME TOWN: QueenslandBrisbane, LIVES: Bondi, Sydney FIVE WORD DESCRIPTION:SELF“Loves a great spicy margarita.” LIFE MOTTO: “Hindsight is insight.” UPDATESTATUS “Attempting to surf, having hot chippies and hanging with lots of cute dogs. You down?”
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PROPERTY INVEST How to... REAL ESTATE What does it take to be in the one per cent of Australian property investors who live off their passive income? In his latest book, The Property Wealth Blueprint, expert RASTI VAIBHAV provides stress-free steps to setting up and growing a robust property portfolio, and, in this edited extract, he shares how to invest in the current market and where your cash goes…
When markets are hot, your ability as a property investor to identify opportunities that are below market value is greatly reduced as stiff competition will keep buyers on the back foot. When markets begin to cool down, there is a lot less pressure on buyers and that gives you more opportunity to negotiate aggressively and secure yourself a high-quality property at a great price. All good property investors know that you make your money when you buy and in a changing market, this is a great time to do just that.
We all pay attention to media commentary around house prices, but the reality is that it’s very difficult to time the market with any degree of accuracy. Just remember 18 months ago, the RBA and economists were suggesting house prices would fall by 40 per cent. What played out was virtually the exact opposite. As an investor, your goal should be to buy well into areas that have strong growth fundamentals in place and then allow time for that property to grow in value. Historically, house prices have risen over many decades and if you’re buying with the goal of making yourself financially secure in 10 or 20 years, then you’ll be able to manage the ups and downs that come with price fluctuations.
In property, there are few more important fundamental concepts to understand than supply and demand. While we often hear the property market spoken about in terms of the overall Australian market, to buy effectively as an investor you need to narrow your focus to the micro-level. When you examine a suburb and look at how much supply and demand there is at any moment in time you can quickly assess what the likelihood for growth might be. If a suburb has very few listings, strong annual sales, a low pipeline of new stock coming onto the market and solid fundamentals such as good schools, infrastructure and access to jobs, then you can be confident you’ve found an area that will likely see good growth. It’s not uncommon for these types of tightly held owner-occupier areas that might be in a good school zone, to see consistent growth through all market conditions.
With house prices having risen by 20.6 per cent in the past 12 months (according to CoreLogic), many experts are now talking about how affordability is a key issue. While it certainly is tough to afford a property in the likes of Sydney and Melbourne, the advantage investors have is that they are not limited to any one market. Typically affordability is poor in many markets that have seen huge surges in growth in a short period of time. However, there are many markets where growth has been consistent and still trending higher. Look to identify suburbs where houses are still affordable relative to average household incomes. There are over 15,000 suburbs across the country and not all of them have moved to the point that they are not affordable for local owner-occupiers. Many suburbs are still seeing steady growth while others have slowed down.
any new investors are asking whether now is the right time to start their investment journey? The reality is that despite what’s happening in geopolitics, financial markets or the broader property market, there is always an opportunity to find highquality investment opportunities. The real key is to understand how to buy in the current market and what factors to consider.
TIME IN THE MARKET NOT TIMING THE MARKET
When you’re buying properties you can look at ways to increase value above and beyond capital growth alone. It's possible to identify properties that have additional upside potential such as the ability to renovate or undertake a subdivision. This is another layer of potential growth you can find in a property that is available regardless of what the broader market might be doing.
BE PREPARED TO NEGOTIATE
AFFORDABILITY IS RELATIVE
M
LOOK AT THE MICRO-LEVEL
MANUFACTURE EQUITY
In property, there are always going to be opportunities to enter the market and outperform the averages. If you consider that property prices have grown by 6.8 per cent per annum between 1993 and 2018 (according to CoreLogic), that means 50 per cent of properties have outperformed that figure. By identifying the right property in the right location, you can achieve an excellent return regardless of the overall market conditions.
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c) Stamp Duty: Stamp duty is a mandatory tax that the state governments impose on buyers when they purchase a property. This amount is based on the purchase price, location and purpose. It can cost you tens of thousands of dollars, making it one of the highest additional costs associated with building your portfolio. It may amount to as much as 3-4 per cent of the purchase price. Commonly, purchasers focus so much on saving for the deposit that they forget about the stamp duty and the thousands of dollars needed for it. Budgeting for it and understanding your state’s concessions are critical to a comfortable property purchase.
REAL ESTATE
e) Building and Pest Inspection: A thorough inspection certainly contributes to a purchaser’s ability to make an informed buying decision. As an investor, you need to know as many specifics about the investment property as there may be hidden structural problems that may cost thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars to rectify. Inspections reports typically cost $500 to $800 each, depending on the property’s size, type, and location.
a) Deposit: Saving a deposit of 20 per cent of the purchase price takes time, and it’s essential that the investors are realistic about the time required. Depending on your circumstances, you may decide to save a smaller deposit and pay for Lenders Mortgage Insurance (LMI) to speed up the acquisition process. Your course of action will be determined by your investment strategy, including your risk appetite. As a minimum, I would recommend you save at least a 10 per cent deposit.
WHAT WILL IT COST ME?
f) Buyer’s Agent: Buying the right property on the right terms requires a specialised skill set. An independent buyer’s agent represents the buyer and is reimbursed by the buyer. Typically, the fee is covered by the savings they make, and plus a lot more. More importantly, having a professional on your side will save you from potentially costly mistakes. The fee of a buyer’s agent starts at about $10,000 and may go up to 2.5 per cent of the purchase price.
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g) Miscellaneous: You should allow at least $2,000 to $5,000 to cover any contingencies or shortfalls for every property you buy.
ACQUISITION COSTS Every property purchase entails costs beyond the deposit and mortgage repayments. Unfortunately, some first home buyers and inexperienced investors get into trouble as they fail to budget all the associated costs and expenses. In this section, we’ll review the potential purchasing costs you may incur.
b) Lenders Mortgage Insurance (LMI): The cost of LMI depends on the size of the deposit. If the deposit is 20 per cent, the charge is zero. If the deposit is 5 per cent, the cost may be 5 per cent of the purchase price. Your mortgage broker would be able to help you with the exact charge for your purchase price and LMI for the bank you are approaching.
d) Conveyancing: This is carried out using legal documents such as contracts, leases, title deeds, and others. It is the legal process through which the title (i.e. ownership) of a property is transferred from the seller to the purchaser and involves various legal searches. Although the pricing is subjective, it typically ranges from $1,500 to about $3,000.
The property investing expenses you need to be aware of…
Getting into the property investment business is thrilling. To make money, whether to enhance your current income or become financially independent from the nine-to-five grind of the corporate world, there is so much to look forward to! However, there are some significant financial considerations before jumping into property investment. If you have just started, you may become easily overwhelmed with all the costs involved. While they may seem daunting, the reality is that budgeting for these numbers is pivotal for progress. The right numbers are essential for every property transaction – no exceptions. Let’s look at the costs associated with property investment –we will first examine the acquisition or property purchase costs, followed by the costs associated with holding the property.
RASTI VAIBHAV is the author of The ($39.95rrp)WealthPropertyBlueprint and CEO of Get RARE Properties, a bespoke independent buyers’ agency that has been helping hundreds of clients across Australia secure their financial freedom through property. For more information visit www.getrare.com.au manage common areas of the property (i.e. lifts, gymnasiums, garden maintenance and security). Clearly, when a property has more features, the strata fees are higher.
a) Mortgage repayments: These are generally the highest holding cost for an investor. Mortgage repayments are the sums of money you need to pay to the financial institution against your home loan. These repayments are usually made weekly, fortnightly, or monthly. The amount of a mortgage payment can be determined using various variables, including the loan size, interest rate, loan term and repayment type – that is, Interest Only or Principal and Interest, among other things. Mortgage repayment is a significant component. It’s recommended that you spend some time with your mortgage broker to understand the structured repayments. Let’s look at one of the common strategies to reduce this charge – Offset Account. An offset account is a savings bank account linked with the mortgage. You can deposit your surplus funds into this account, and the balance is then offset against the amount due on your home loan, which reduces the interest charged.
g) Property Tax: Property taxes vary significantly across the country. Each state has different definitions, classifications and property taxes. Properties owned by you and by your trusts are also treated differently. Your team accountant will be able to help you understand the taxes in detail. In addition to mortgage repayments, typically, the holding costs are about 20-30 per cent of the gross rent that you may collect depending on the age and condition of the property. By factoring in the associated holding costs of an investment property, you’ll minimise the risk of financial difficulties in future. In the end, understanding these costs enables you to make informed decisions for your property investments. Property investing is a number game, and successful investors know how to evaluate numbers for their benefit or walk away if the numbers are not favourable. ■
HOLDING COSTS When it comes to property investing, the focus is the cost of buying the asset. However, there are also ongoing expenses that the investors need to be mindful of. Holding costs in property refers to the outgoings and expenses incurred by an investor pending receipt of rental income from a tenant. If you can’t meet these ongoing costs, you may be forced to sell the investment property and may end up in a difficult situation. It’s essential to know beforehand that you can afford the associated holding costs. For property investors, most holding costs can be offset against their general income for tax purposes. Here’s the typical holding costs of an investment property.
e) Insurance: Investors need multiple insurances to protect themselves and their assets to minimise risks. Insurance premiums depend on various factors, including insured amounts, excess charges, cover and building type. It is best to consult an insurance broker as they can help you select adequate insurance coverage without overpaying.
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b) Property management fees: An excellent professional property management office will proactively manage your property and quickly deal with any issues that may arise. The cost and level of service may vary between companies, so they must provide valuable guidance and annual reviews on your property. This service usually accounts for 5-9 per cent of the rents collected.
c) Strata fees: Generally, strata fees for apartments, villas and townhouses are the landlord’s responsibility. These are used to 2
d) Maintenance costs: It’s always a good idea to allow extra buffer funds for annual maintenance jobs, especially if your property is old. These funds may be used to meet unexpected costs such as repairing fences, fixing shower leaks or replacing a broken dishwasher.
f) Council and Water Rates: Investors are also liable to pay council rates, water rates, and land tax.
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AustraliaMAXIMThe 2022OfficialMAXIMofGirls Calendarisavailableat www.maxim.com.au/ calendar $19.95RRP,HOMETOWN: Scotland LIVES: QldBrisbane, BORN: 25July WORDFIVE SELF-DESCRIPTION: “Intelligent, adventurous, ambitious, integral.”honest, DRINK:FAVOURITE Rico&“Franco Buckfast.”orMalbec MOTTO:LIFE ‘no’,isanswerthe“If theaskingyou’re person.”wrong INSTAGRAM: @heathermccartneySTATUS UPDATE MAXIM.COM.AU 41
42 MAXIM.COM.AU PUSHER?PULLER Are you a or a Whether you prefer pullups or pushups, MAXIM fitness guru, Alexa, is here with some handy upper-body workout tips… HEALTH & FITNESS By ALEXA TOWERSEY
Think of pulling your bellybutton towards your spine, so that you can create intra-abdominalpressureAKAacorset.
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The body is a very clever tool — it will always look for the path of least resistance. If you’re using your legs to create momentum in a pullup and in doing so, they come above 90 degrees — it’s a no rep from me.
PULL BEFORE PUSH If you’re doing a workout that has both push and pull variations, then program the pulls first. Your rotator cuff muscles attach to your scapulae (those big bony winglike structures on your back), and increasing blood flow and movement to that region first will help create a more stable shoulder environment for any pressing. Same goes for pull/push days. Here’s six ways to take your pushups and pullups to the next level. Outside of core training pick one method and train it at least twice a week for 3-4 weeks before moving onto the next. This will give your body enough time to adapt to each new stress, and allow you to find out what works for your body.
TOPTIP: YOU’RE ONLY CHEATING YOURSELF
If the squat and the deadlift are the kingpins of lower body training, then the pushup and pullup are the gold standards when it comes to the upper body. And in my experience, people are usually either a pusher or a puller. And just like dating, it’s about quality over quantity – you need to think about having some standards. If you train regularly, you should be able to complete 10-20 full “chest to ground” pushups, and 5-10 full pullups executed from a dead hang, no kipping allowed.
FULL-STOP REPS
ABOUT ALEXA
ISOMETRICS
Think of pulling your bellybutton towards your spine, so that you can create intra-abdominal pressure AKA a corset — this will help you achieve a hollow body position and support your lower back. Try 30-45 secs Hollow Body Hold followed by 30-45 secs plank for 3 rounds as part of your dynamic warmup. When it comes to your own sticking points, it’s helpful to work out “why” you find that specific part hard, so you can add in the right supplemental. If the mid portion of your pullup is your weakest link, you could benefit from some additional direct bicep work. In the case of pushups, strengthening the triceps will be of overall benefit.
You wouldn’t think twice about bracing your body in a squat or deadlift – if your body is like a wet noodle when you pick up heavy shit, getting injured isn’t a matter of if, but when. The same applies when it comes to pushups and pullups – you need full body tension to make both movements efficient and effective and allow you to generate force.
ENGAGE YOUR CORE
This is when your muscles lengthen under load – i.e. the lowering portion of both the pushup and pullup. Technically you are stronger during the eccentric phase so you can handle more load and more TUT. If you’re doing pullups, you’re jumping yourself
ISOMETRICSPOSITIONAL
If you can comfortably do multiple reps of either exercise, then adding weight is a progression.logical
“Action Alexa” is an internationally published celebrity trainer, sports model and nutrition and lifestyle coach with over 15 years’ experience in the health and fitness industry, and has worked with NZ’s world champion rugby team, the All Blacks. She has qualified for the Ironman 70.3 World Champs and was named as one of the Five Toughest Trainers in Asia during her seven-year stint in an MMA gym in Hong Kong.
Training hollow body movements reinforces alignment in your pullup, and you only have to look at the pushup to understand that it’s essentially a moving plank.
WEIGHTED REPS If you can comfortably do multiple reps of either exercise, then adding weight is a logical progression. And if you’re sitting at a point where you’ve mastered eccentrics but can’t do full weighted reps, then just add load for eccentrics. ■
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TOPTIP:TOPTIP:
Isometrics are also a great opp to really connect with the muscles you’re working. Next time you’re holding the bottom position of a pushup, focus on screwing your palms into the ground for the entire duration — not only will this help with elbow positioning, but it will also create torque in the shoulder girdle for greater stability. Left hand goes anti-clockwise, right hand goes clockwise.
TOPTIP: DON’T SCREW IT UP, SCREW IT IN!
Everybody has different sticking points in movements, and positional isometrics help overcome these. Strength increases typically occur at around ten degrees either side of a joint angle, so adding in a pause at the point where you feel the weakest is a great way to help improve your ability to push or pull your way through.
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up to the top position with your chin over the bar (or for the more advanced, your chest to the bar), and then slowly lowering back to a complete dead hang. If you’re doing pushups, you’re pulling yourself all the way down to hover off the ground before pushing back up, either on your feet or your knees depending on your strength level. I like 5-10 second eccentric reps in multiples or 20-30 sec ones for a single.
This is when your muscles are under load but there is no change in joint position. These are fantastic for building a strong base given that they improve your positioning and encourage correct muscle recruitment, while also increasing your strength endurance through total time under tension (TUT). When it comes to pullups, if you can perform 3 sets of a 30 sec Chin Over Bar isometric hold, you should be able to rep out 1 full pull up at least.
HEALTH & FITNESSSLOWECCENTRICS
This is the simplest of methods. Coming to a complete halt at the end of each rep reduces your momentum and reinforces optimal technique.
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46 MAXIM.COM.AU New to running or training for your next long distance challenge? Marathon competitor and director of Flow Athletic, BEN LUCAS, shares his step-by-step guide on how to prepare for your first 10km run… HEALTH & FITNESS MANRUNNING
1 X SPRINT TRAINING DAY: On this day, choose a 100m distance. Sprint up, walk back 10 times. The reason you want to practise sprinting is so that you can sprint around people or sprint to the finish line while still being able to control your energy go that you can keep running even after a short sprint.
1 X SPEED PLAY DAY: This is where you play with speeds. For example, you may run 400 metres fast followed by a slow 400m jog for 30 mins.
The first thing you need to do is work out what is likely to come up on the running course and prepare for it. We already know that you will be running 10km and that there will be a crowd that you may need to shuffle around, but will there be hills? Mud? Sand? Any other terrain that you may not naturally be used to? Once you know what you need to prepare for, you can factor that into your week. Here is an example plan...
1 X HILL OR SAND SPRINT DAY: If there will be hills, sand, etc on the running track you plan on doing, include a hill or sand sprint day into your routine. Also make sure there are hills or sand in your long run day route.
1-2 REST DAYS: You may also want to consider signing up to a running group so that you can learn effective running technique and strides to make your run more efficient and comfortable.
1 X LONG RUN DAY: This is a day that you go for a long run, although you don’t need to run the full distance of the event. You just need to build your strength so you CAN run the full distance of the event. If you are new to running, start with 5km, even if you need to walk some of it, and build your kms up from there.
1-2 WEIGHT TRAINING DAYS: It is a good idea to strengthen up your legs and your posture when preparing for a fun run. Having poor posture when you are running will lead to some aches, pains and potentially injury. Also, when you run you are on one leg at a time, so you want to work both legs individually so you can strengthen them up without one taking over the load for the weaker leg.
GET INTO GEAR
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This month’s Real Insurance Sydney Harbour 10km and 5km is a great one to start with as it is set on a flat, fast course in the most beautiful parts of Sydney. Because it takes place on July 24, it is also a good event to do to build your confidence ahead of the City2Surf in August or Blackmores Sydney Running Festival in September. Here’s how you can get started: MAKE A PLAN
DIETARY REQUIREMENTS
Now that you have a plan, you may want to look the part. Go to your local running shop or sports shoe expert and get fitted for a shoe that is most suitable for your feet. There are so many tests that they can do on you nowadays to make sure your feet are supported properly so go for the right ones for you – rather than choosing your shoes based on looks. With both shoes and clothing, make sure you run in them a few times before event day as you want to make sure they are comfortable. You also want to wear your shoes in so they don’t give you blisters. If you are running a longer distance, consider bringing nipple tape as chafed nipples after a long run is not fun at all.
Running consumes a lot of energy, so you want to make sure you are replenishing the nutrients that you are using and burning. Making sure you eat a diet that is rich in protein, antioxidants from fruit and veggies and healthy carbs such as sweet potato is a good way to replenish yourself and help your body recover. However, don’t change your diet a day or two out from
So, you have decided to lace up your sneakers and give running a go. Congratulations, this is definitely the start of something great for you. Running, for me, has been great for my mental health – it’s a good way of getting some “me time” and with all of the events that are held all over the world, it has also provided me with yet another reason to travel and a way to explore new places. One of the best ways to learn to enjoy it, and build up the habit of including running into your week, is by signing up to a running event. When you have a date that you need to be ready by, it kind of forces you to train and build that habit. It is such a fun day so it’s worthwhile preparing for.
Happening in October this year, with distances being a marathon, half marathon, 10km, 5km and 3km run, this makes it a suitable event for everyone to have a go at. It will also be an extremely fun event as Nike certainly knows how to throw a party!
Another stunning event that takes you over the Harbour Bridge and through Sydney city, this is truly suitable for everyone as there is a 3.5k, 9k Bridge run, half marathon and marathon options. It also takes place in September, when things start to warm up a little, so the energy that comes with this festival is a very upbeat one.
GOLDMARATHONCOAST
The last thing you want is to discover that your new diet doesn’t agree with your stomach on running day. Also, of course, make sure you are staying hydrated and that you are drinking a lot of water.
RUNNINGMOSTAUSTRALIA’SBEAUTIFULEVENTS
THE SYDNEYINSURANCEREALHARBOUR10KMAND5KM
You don’t want to be going full out with your training the week of the event. You want to start tapering off, so do less kms and train with less intensity the week prior to your event.
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One of the most beautiful Sydney-based running events, this takes you along the Harbour and through the city. It’s a great winter event to enjoy with your family and/or friends and also a good practise run for other running events later in the year. If you are a great runner, it is a flat and fast course which gives you a chance of landing a great time. It is also a great track for those who are new to running. This year will mark their 10th anniversary.
Another super famous running event, the City2Surf starts off in the city and ends up in Bondi to a huge celebration and a party at nearly every venue. This running event is a pretty one, too, but make sure you prepare for “Heartbreak Hill” as it will certainly make you earn your drinks in Bondi at the end of the race.
TAPER OFF YOUR TRAINING
THE SYDNEYBLACKMORESRUNNINGFESTIVAL
CITY2SURF
NIKEMARATHONMELBOURNEFESTIVAL
Here’s an event that people like to fly into. It is an annual road race with various race lengths. Plus, it is scenic, flat and fast – definitely a must-do at least once in your lifetime.
TOP 5:
The reason being is that you don’t want sore muscles and to be exhausted come event day. You want to give yourself every chance of getting a good time. Most important is to have fun! Running events are lots of fun and they are a good opportunity to familiarise yourself with running. ■
PROPER RECOVERY Similar to your diet, making sure you assist your muscles in the recovery process is so important when you run, as running can be strenuous on your body. Use a foam roller, book a massage if you need one, cryotherapy and NormaTec boots are also great in terms of helping you release your muscles. A rest day or two a week is also necessary, as is 7-8 hours sleep per night.
BEN WHO? Benjamin Lucas is Owner and Director of Flow Athletic in Sydney NSW, where he grew up excelling in athletics, basketball and rugby league during his formative years. Post-school he went on to play professional rugby league for the Cronulla Sharks as well as in Brisbane and Auckland. Whilst training for an Ultra-marathon in 2010 Ben met leading yoga teacher Kate Kendall and in 2013 they launched Flow Athletic. Bringing a unique mix of strength, fitness and yoga to the marketplace, Flow has since flourished and in 2015 won the Telstra StartUp of the year. For more info check out flowathletic.com.au the event. Whatever you plan on eating on the day, and that includes supplements, should be included at least a fortnight before the event.
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50 MAXIM.COM.AU SPOTLIGHT TABBATHAROUX Get acquainted with the influencer and inked-up American beauty who you can call Tab… Photography by MICHAEL DEL PRIORE Interview by PARIS RAINE Introducing
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I was raised LDS (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) Mormon, not to be confused with FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) – there is a difference. What’s your best asset? People always compliment me on my smile or my butt – so probably one of those! When do you feel sexy? I feel sexy when I do photo shoots. To get in front of a camera and wear things that show off my body, and get all dolled up, makes me feel so confident. I definitely recommend anyone who wants a confidence boost to try it out!
W
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What’s one thing men should know about women? If women have an attitude, we either need food or sex – possibly both! What do you look for in a man? Loyalty, a nice smile, motivated, grounded and security in himself is a must. I also love my freedom and space, so someone who likes to do their own thing from time to time is always a good thing. Describe your ideal date. Dates make me SO nervous. Hmmm, probably doing some type of sport – I enjoy being more interactive, so I prefer a date that is more exciting than the typical eating and talking. I want to see your personality in action! What is your go-to drink? A Pineapple Upside Down, if I want a crazy night. A chill night would just be any beer – no dark lager though. What is your life motto? Always take a few minutes a day to enjoy the moment. Take in your surroundings and just appreciate what you have in the now. Where do you see yourself in five years? I just want to be happy with my girls and be able to continue shooting and making content for others to enjoy. I would love to act as well – see what happens! ■
elcome to MAXIM, Tab. Tell us a bit about yourself. Thanks for having me. Well, I was born in Los Angeles, USA but moved to Vernal in Utah when I was just two. Then in 2000 I moved to St. Augustine, Florida due to my parents divorcing. I was always the quiet one – never popular but great academically. I received a full ride scholarship but went right into the work field working as a paralegal for seven years. Modelling was always a hobby and is something I enjoy – I have been signed twice to agencies, one in Orlando and one in Miami. How would you describe yourself in five words? Goofy, introvert, loving, carefree and adventurous. What would people be most surprised to know about you?
What have you learnt about men over the years? They need to feel safe in order to be vulnerable. I hate the fact that men have been taught that emotions make them weak. It’s not true!
MAXIM.COM.AU 53 “I prefer a date that is more exciting than the typical eating and talking. I want to see your personality in action!”
54 MAXIM.COM.AU SPOTLIGHT NAME: Tabbatha Roux BORN: September 23 HOME TOWN: St.FloridaAugustine,USA GIRL CRUSHES: “Emily Ratakowski, Megan Fox – those eyes!, Ariana Grande – that voice!, Madison Beer and Dua Lipa.” SNAPCHAT: Rxtab23 TIKTOK: @Tab.Renaye INSTAGRAM: and@officialtabrenaye@tabbatha_lynn UPDATESTATUS “I taughthavethatthehatefactmenbeenthatemotionsmakethemweak.It’snottrue!”
JACKHOUSEBUILT
How Alibaba’s JACK MA started with nothing and built a global internet empire...
The That
By KEITH GORDON Americans are well-versed in the “rags to riches” archetype, starting with the works of Horatio Alger, ingrained in historical narratives and continuing to today’s ideal of achieving the American dream. But perhaps no one better exemplifies the journey from extreme poverty to extreme wealth better than Jack Ma, wouldandthewereMastorytellers.folkwereChina,1964onChinaphilanthropistsentrepreneur-mostofAlibabacofoundermultibillionaireofGroup,onetherichestandimpactfulinandtheworld.BornMaYunSeptember10th,inHangzhou,Ma’sparentsreportedlymusiciansandAlthoughandhisfamilyimpoverished,boy’sworkethicloveoflearningeventuallyprovide a financial escape for both him and those around him. He began by teaching himself English, for yeas riding his bicycle 17 miles to the international Hangzhou Hotel to barter his services as a tour guide to foreign visitors he met in exchange for English lessons. He soon adopted the name Jack, which was given to him by a Western tourist. As Ma told Inc., “Those years deeply changed me. I started to become more globalized than most Chinese. What I learned from my teachers and books was different from what the foreign visitors told us.” One of those visiting groups of foreigners was an Australian family with whom Ma became pen pals in 1979, and who would later invite Ma to visit them in 1985, expanding his horizons and exposure to the West. But in China, the young Ma ran into obstacles seemingly every step of the way. He failed the infamous Chinese entrance exams twice before scoring high enough to be accepted to the Hangzhou Teachers College, considered the city’s worst university according to Ma. Despite achievementhigh in university and a subsequent job as an English teacher, the curious young man desired more and was determined to go into business for himself. This would present a challenge for the future billionaire who found himself rejected by just about every eventuallylanguagehispolicetochased,opportunityemploymenthefromahotelKFCtothecity’sforce.FocusedonstrongEnglishskills,hebegana translation company with moderate success. But the technologically ignorant Ma was about to be given a push into the industry that would come to provide him with his immense wealth and China with one of the world’s most valuable internet companies. On a visit to
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“It’s as if Amazon, eBay, PayPal, Google and Shopify were all started by the same person under the same corporate ownership.”
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It was a promise he first made to himself more than a decade earlier, knowing that there was more for him to do beyond the corporate world. Worth an estimated US$39.8
Seattle, a friend showed him the internet for the first time, still in its nascent stages. When Ma searched the web, he found countless listings for beer from around the world, German, American, and others. But there were no listings for beer from China. More impactful, in 1995, as Ma tells is, he went to Los Angeles to help settle a business dispute with an American businessman –which almost turned violent but which ended by Ma agreeing to go into business with him on an internet company in China. Beyond the disturbing nature of this experience, is the ironic reality that Ma knew little about technology and nothing about the internet. Shaken, Ma left Los Angeles and claims the experience still affects him. Sensing an opportunity however, Ma returned to his homeland and began a small listing service for Chinese businesses. “The day we got connected to the Web, I invited friends and TV people over to my house.” Thanks to a snail-paced dial-up connection they “waited three-and-a-half hours and got half a page,” he recalled to The New York Times in 2005. “We drank, watched TV and played cards, waiting. But I was so proud. I proved the internet existed.” Introducing Chinese friends to the internet was only a precursor to Ma’s introduction of the world wide web to the larger Chinese population in later years. This small success led to his being recruited to work in the public sector, assisting a government agency helping to enable and expand Chinese e-commerce and internet entrepreneurship. Now, armed with both knowledge from abroad about the potential of the internet commercially, and with a solid idea of how a Chinese firm could navigate these same industries within the complex Chinese economy, Ma was ready to launch the company of his dreams. So it was, working from a small apartment in 1999, that Ma initially sought investments from 17 friends and colleagues. The entity they created was called Alibaba, after the character in The Thousand and One Nights, and it would grow to be worth more than US$800 billion at one point. The name, according to Ma, came from a desire to find something that was easy to spell and pronounce, and had meaning around the globe. This investment got the company started, but it was follow-up investments by Goldman Sachs and a group of venture capital firms (US$5 million), and SoftBank Group Corp. (US$20 million), that allowed Alibaba to grow into the business-to-business behemoth it is today. Under its corporate umbrella, Alibaba Group has a diverse range of businesses, albeit ones that typically dominate their specific industry. There’s Alibaba.com (B2B) that helps manufacturers sell to international and domestic clients; Taobao (C2C) which so dominated the marketplace that competitor eBay China was forced to abandon its efforts to get a foothold in the Chinese market; and Tmall (B2C) which enables businesses to sell their products directly to online customers. It’s as if Amazon, eBay, PayPal, Google and Shopify were all started by the same person under the same corporate ownership. Frankly, it’s a scale almost that’s impossible to comprehend. Today Alibaba is still growing and is focused on introducing new companies and expanding revenue streams in areas such as electronic payments, cloud computing, smarter search engines for shopping, and advances in artificial intelligence. Of course, Ma’s entrepreneurial timing has been impeccable. Even Ma admits that he couldn’t have timed his efforts any better, as he was able to conquer both the “Wild West” of the early internet and the complicated political landscape in a China that was slowly opening up its markets to the world in new capitalistic ways. His country had an untouched domestic market that would soon have disposable income and a burgeoning middle class, and Ma would take full advantage.
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Jack Ma no longer serves as executive chairman of Alibaba and its related entities, having resigned from the position in 2019, Alibaba’s 20th anniversary, saying in a 2018 letter to shareholders that, “I will devote more time and effort to education, philanthropy and the environment. While I will not allow myself to sit idle, this time, I will be able to spend time on choosing interesting and meaningful causes that I can be passionate about.”
This page: Ma at the Global Conference on Women and Entrepreneurship in Hangzhou, China, in 2019; Opposite: The Alibaba Group Chairman during a visit to Bangkok, Thailand to announce the group's investment in the Thai government's Eastern Economic Corridor (EEC)
Ma later joked about this with Charlie Rose in a 2011 interview, explaining “My father said, If you were born 30 years… earlier you would probably be in prison because the ideas you [have] are so dangerous.” Some entrepreneurs made billions by capitalising on the early internet while others made their fortunes in the early capitalist stages of China in the late 20th century. Jack Ma’s genius was succeeding in both. Despite having little knowledge of computers, technology or the internet, Ma had succeeded in building one of the most successful tech companies on the planet.
While Ma claims China has a culture of charity, he also believes it lacks a similar culture of philanthropy due to the lack of concentrated wealth in previous generations.
MAXIM.COM.AU 59 billion, Ma is now in the company of other tech moguls like Bill Gates, a role model of Ma’s, in the desire to share his wealth through massive philanthropic programs. Alibaba has been philanthropic for years, ever since 2006 when the company launched a program that has helped more than 20,000 underprivileged mothers in China. The company solidified this commitment with the Alibaba Foundation by setting aside 0.3% of its annual revenues for philanthropic purposes, which means hundreds of millions of dollars being spent on important causes. But it is the Jack Ma Foundation, founded in 2014, which had an endowment of about US$4.6 billion (in Alibaba shares) in 2019, that provides the most potential for a positive global impact. By the end of 2019 it had distributed more than US$300 million for charitable causes ranging from ecological ones like protecting wetlands in Hangzhou to encouraging the development of women’s sports in the country. The foundation itself focuses on entrepreneurship, education, women’s leadership, medical support and environmental protection. It’s not surprising Ma has pushed for assistance for women, as his company has long had a large percentage of both female executives and employees, ignoring traditional gender norms. But Ma has no interest in running a loosely-organised charity. He plans on conducting it with the same efficiency and methods that made him a billionaire in the first place. “Philanthropy is also about efficiency,” Ma told Forbes Asia after his retirement. “If you can spend $3, why spend $5? If you can finish it in two hours, why do four hours? The way I learned how to run a company, that is the way I learned how to run a philanthropic organisation.”
Education is a major part of his efforts, including more than US$75 million to improve education quality in rural and poor areas of China, training countless teachers and administrators. But he has already set his sights on philanthropic opportunities outside China’s borders, insisting that while domestic efforts are important to him, they also serve as a way of testing different approaches towards educational and environmental philanthropy, and the best way to maximise the impact of each dollar donated. Ma has already helped causes in Australia, Africa and the Middle East, but he’s only getting started in his quest for maximum global impact.
“The world won’t change because you donate money, but it will change if your heart is changed.”
He believes China’s current crop of business titans are still just beginning their philanthropic efforts, and as such he is providing resources and guidance to assist these future charitable efforts, while setting a public example for others to follow. In Asia, many of the newly minted über-wealthy are looking to Ma and his foundation as a guide of sorts as they begin to also set aside much of their wealth for the betterment of others. Ma also wants to encourage the spirit of philanthropy in as many people as he can, telling a philanthropy conference in Hangzhou in 2016, “The world won’t change because you donate money, but it will change if your heart is changed. You can never save all the poor people and heal all the illness, but we can wake up the kindness inside everyone in the world.” At times Ma can be idealistic, although his wealth and altruism make these ideals possible. Even with the current semi-antagonistic relationship between global superpowers, Ma serves as a beacon of hope and “Peopleoptimism.in China and America, one thing we have in common is the heart of love and respect,” Ma has preached. “This is a common language we have. The first tech revolution caused WWI. The second caused WWII. Now we are a third revolution; what’s gonna happen? It should be a war against poverty, disease et cetera.” ■
60 MAXIM.COM.AU THUNDERTROPIC A potent Colombian luxury hospitality renaissance is rising in Cartagena and beyond... TRAVEL By SI SI PENALOZA
MAXIM.COM.AU 61 The majestic view over Guatape, Colombia
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This page (top): The new Sofitel Barú Calablanca Beach Resort is primed to welcome guests looking for a new pleasure pad; Middle: ASofitel’s sleek designer vibe brings contemporary flavour to the coast of Cartagena; Above and opposite page: Bright, charming facades are a spellbinding signature of Cartagena
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Colombia’s ripening cultural renaissance has never been more apparent, its vivid heritage of European, Indigenous and African influences is rich and runs deep. So go ahead and fall for the South American try-hard who’s like that cryptic-but-lovable teen crush you still think about to this day. There’s so much to love about the sheer effort. From her beguiling history rises an eclectic fusion of tradition and vanguardism in the thriving hotspots of Medellin and Bogotá. A land of extremes in Latin America, geographic diversity mirrors the myriad cultural influences, from soaring snowy Andean summits down to the arid plains of El Paramo. From lively, pretty beaches to the lush Amazonian jungle and aromatic cache of homegrown coffee – this is the Colombia that you don’t see on CNN. Despite only taking up a landmass roughly twice the size of Texas, Colombia’s standing as the most biodiverse country per square mile in the world makes it an irresistible draw for bird, butterfly, and orchid enthusiasts. Meaning, there’s much more to gawk at than local leggy lingerie models. Throw in trekking, whitewater paddle sports and diving on two oceans, and you’ve got quite a compelling hook for adventure travellers. While your more basic mates may be stuck on Cabo or Cayman on repeat, don’t count out Colombia – its plum sunshine spots are more accessible than people think. Pre-pandemic, Colombia was clearly on a rebranding bender, appealing to Hollywood studio executives and producers to consider its star attractions as possible filming locations. To shake up its image as a travel destination, the Colombian government reportedly hosted entertainment-industry luminaries, drawing attention to Cartagena, Bogotá, and Medellín. We’re in, after all, the birthplace of Magical Realism. Colombia’s biggest star export?
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Move over, Sofia Vergara. The nation’s latest rising star is none other than this issue’s cover model Daniela Botero, who proudly shares her insider insights on this compelling destination. “My favourite city in Colombia is Cartagena, first because it is a safe city, and second, the old city is very special. Every time I go, I feel like I’m in one of the books by Gabriel Garcia Marquez,” Botero muses. “Small streets, music everywhere, old colourful houses, horse carriages, it’s just magic. Cartagena makes me feel alive and happy, that’s why I love spending New Year’s there.”
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This page: Sofitel Legend Santa Clara Cartagena, an iconic hotel where heritage meets modernity
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The walled town of Old Cartagena is impossibly romantic when magic hour hits; easy to see why cinematographers and ahem, Instagrammers, have fallen under its spell. Films shot in photogenic Cartagena over the years include The Mission and Love in the Time of Cholera. This venerable vacation paradise on the Caribbean sea hosts a buzzy international film festival, typically running every March. The enchanting edifice of the Sofitel Legend Santa Clara Cartagena was originally built as a convent in 1621. Quite a departure from its pious origin, the place is glamorous and wildly sensual, with a divine, resortstyle pool and spa. Their cool El Coro lounge is the place to take in live music and mojitos in equal measure. By bedtime, the extensive pillow menu will have both you and your better half snoozing in serene style. More into clean, contemporary lines and LEED certification?
The new Sofitel Barú Calablanca Beach Resort opened its doors on the island of Barú just this past December, a 25-minute yacht ride from Cartagena. Each of the property’s 187 rooms and suites faces the sparkling Caribbean Sea. The resort weaves in Sofitel’s French savoirfaire through its service culture and culinary overtures. La Pérgola is the place to be as the sun sets, with its simply sublime rooftop terrace. Pack
Aesthetically speaking, if Belle Epoque meets steampunk is a look, this is where you’ll find it in Latin America. Needless to say, this is nightlife at serious altitude. Up here, the air contains less oxygen than at sea level. For virgin vacationers, two cocktails may feel like four; best to temper your bender with tapas galore. In the life of Colombia’s stunning sample-size siren, work and play seamlessly converges. When asked where she enjoys shooting on location in her native land, Botero responds playfully, “One of my favourite places to work is the Rosario Islands. The private houses you can rent, like in Isla Rosa that I rented with my family last Christmas are unique, private, with the most beautiful ocean. You relax, take the sun on your private beach, and you can see the fisherman coming in a small boat offering fresh lobster and crab for $10 is just amazing!”
MAXIM.COM.AU 65 ample swimwear options as there are three poolside bar venues to unwind over creative cocktails and convivial chatter.
Top: Aerial view of the historic city centre of Cartagena, Colombia — panorama of the old and new parts of Cartagena city
For a more intimate boutique hotel, check in to Casa San Agustín, located on Acasí Private Beach on Barú, where guests enjoy water sports or simply sunbathing in scenic splendour. The hotel consists of three Colombian-style houses; its 20 guestrooms and 11 suites beautifully express artisan style, with Frette linens to seal the deal.
To sum up, Colombia is not merely a land of soulful novelists and beautiful women; there’s simply a nowhere-else-like-this feeling here. While the coastline and nightlife may be the main draw on a first visit, historic haute hotels that defy the senses and dizzying chef-driven delights is what keeps many travel aficionados – including ourselves – coming back.
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From the original frescoes at its library to centuriesold wood beam ceilings in guest rooms, Casa San Agustín evokes the city’s spellbinding history. Poolscape aficionados rejoice by escaping to the hotel’s hidden oasis of calm – a romantic treefringed courtyard pool where whimsy is always in order. And should your snowsport-ravaged skin need a solid reboot, their onsite Aurum Spa has answers. It’s a feast for the senses, from the Cartagena Coffee Body Treatment to the Lemongrass and Mimosa Body Scrub. Bogotá, the nation’s sophisticated capital, is perched high in the Andes at over 8660 feet. “For nightlife, Bogotá is great, I always recommend Andrés Carne de Res, a unique restaurant bar. Food is traditional Colombian and the ambiance is great,” says Botero. Not your average “clubstaurant,” Carne de Res’ coal-fired kitchen pumps out belt-busting meaty, fatty, starchy tapas while the DJ drops the bass.
66 MAXIM.COM.AU KAELEIGH GILABERT Meet the American model, writer, sporting all-rounder and psychology graduate who has a thing or two to say about genetic engineering… Photographed by RYAN DWYER Interview by SANTI PINTADO WOMAN OF THE WORLD
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One of the things I dislike about social media is that some people feel entitled to their opinion online and say things they would never even attempt in person.
As our Woman of the World this month, where would you love to travel to next? I’d love to visit my twin in Australia. Since she’ll be doing her residency in New Zealand, Australia would be close to her and would be better for us both because a lot of our close friends are Australian and so it would be nice to see them.
And you are a writer, too? Yes, I produced articles for MXDWN Music and Celeb Secrets – I write music articles for them and occasionally interviewed artists. What would people be most surprised to know about you? That I have a degree in psychology.
Someone I can be comfortable around and someone who makes me laugh. They don’t have to be funny but it could just be some mannerisms they have that make me chuckle.
68 MAXIM.COM.AU W WOMAN OF THE WORLD
Have you ever been to Australia? I visited Australia when I was very young, so I don’t remember a lot, which is why I’d love to go again. It would be great to be able to do more activities than I wasn’t able to do before.
icked photo shoot, Kaeleigh. What did you love most about it? The most fun part was being able to shoot on the beach. I feel the most comfortable by the ocean. Tell us a little more about yourself I grew up with a large family who all grew up playing piano and another instrument of our choice – mine was clarinet. We would also train year round in sports, soccer, running, snowboarding and surfing since we grew up in California. I’m quite sporty because my parents were very strict growing up so quitting wasn’t an option. So, I figured if I have to do something I might as well go all out and try to be the best at it if I’m doing it anyway.
Describe your ideal date. My ideal date would be Just relaxing at home or running errands – I find a certain beauty and comfort in the mundane. What have you learnt about men over the years? Not one thing! Men never fail to surprise me – I’ll always go on a date with them because for some reason they will always do something unintentionally hilarious that I will use later as a story to humour crowds. So, I guess I have actually learnt something from men – that hanging out with them will give me comedic material.
What’s one thing you would change about the world? I would change the UNESCO panel’s decision to place a temporary ban on genetic engineering. I believe the way humans are evolving is externally using our minds to create tools that allow us to pick and choose traits that are better equipped for the environment. The leading debate is that this could lead to an issue of eugenics, however other countries have done it and it seems that we are just delaying the inevitable. Instead of focusing on delaying the progression of genetic modification we should look for ways to make it accessible to everyone. ■
How can a man win his way to your heart? A man can only win his way to my heart if I feel a connection and then it doesn’t really matter what they do.
Would you ever date one of your followers? I would hope that the person I’m dating would follow me on social media. What do you look for in a man?
“Some people feel entitled to their opinion online and say things they would never even attempt in person.”
Nice. How long have you been modelling? I’ve been modelling since I was 18. I was discovered by a photographer who connected me to a clothing company shooting for Instagram and ended up doing a test shoot for them. After that I gained some traction on Instagram, brands reached out to me and from there I was signed to Genetics MGMT, my mother agency. Social media plays a big part in your career. What do you dislike about it?
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70 MAXIM.COM.AU WOMAN OF THE WORLD
“A man can only win his way to my heart if I feel a connection and then it doesn’t really matter what they do.”
FULL NAME: KaeleighGilabertHeather BORN: December 1, 1998 HOMETOWN: CaliforniaLancaster,USA CURRENTLY LIVES: Los CaliforniaAngeles,USA FIVE WORD DESCRIPTION:SELF“Funny,honest,apathetic,morally-correct.” BEST HIDDEN TALENT: “I can do a impressionStitchfromLiloandStitch.” PHOBIAS: “Heights and being in the dark, alone.” LIFE MOTTO: “If it was wouldeverybodyeasy,doit.” INSTAGRAM: @kaeleighgilabert TIKITOK: @KlayMoss UPDATESTATUS
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In her latest book, Where’d They Go?, author ANDI LEW shares her helpful and hilarious insight into the history of never getting closure as well as all the answers you need for love, life and wellness. Here, in this edited extract, she sheds light on the ghosting culture and how to deal with it…
By ANDI LEW
72 MAXIM.COM.AU GHOSTING Inside the world of…
b They feel it’s acceptable due to culture saying it’s okay because it was just a short term relationship.
b They don’t want to be accountable.
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b They don’t want to have a sweaty palmed conversation. They want to avoid a difficult conversation – the key word in this phrase is actually “avoid”.
b They may not be able to confront their own internal feelings or self-sabotage due to their own unhealed traumas.
“Your quality of life starts to lower when you ghost or are ghosting because it’s connection that is lost.”
b They may be emotionally unavailable due to a mental health issue.
REASONS WHY PEOPLE GHOST
b They may want to protect their emotional or physical safety. Not everyone handles a break up well.
WHAT IS IT? Ghosting can happen in all types of interactions and relationships. It can be business, romantic, friendships or family related. So what is it, really? Disappearing isn’t a new concept but rather a new term for when you’re “left in the dark” about where your relationship is headed. Let’s be reminded that a relationship is simply anyone you’re having an interaction with. The definition of “relationship” isn’t limited to someone in a marriage, steady dating or de facto – it’s the way in which two or more things or people food,relationshipthingsdescribecanwordconnected.areThe“relationship”beusedtoalotof–likeyourwithyourrelationship with the divine or God and even your relationship with music. Any connection or interaction with a person over time also becomes a relationship. Connection is something I feel passionate about. Everything is connected and our relationship to this is our understanding of it which then depicts our quality of our lives. The quality of your life increases when you ask quality questions, get quality answers and have a quality of understanding. Your quality of life starts to lower when you “ghost” or are “ghosting” because it’s connection that is lost. Connection is key and connecting to yourself is the foundation to health and real love. Before we get into a deep dive of what ghosting is, let’s talk about what it’s not. It’s not when someone says to you very clearly that the relationship is over. It’s done and they don’t want to be a part of it anymore. If you’ve been told this in a text (which isn’t the best way to communicate any ending) a phone call or face-to-face, then this has been relayed to you. The person hasn’t disappeared. They’ve actually told you what’s going to happen. Whether you’re choosing to accept or not accept the difficult decision, it’s still been given to you and therefore it isn’t “ghosting”. Imagine you’re trying to patch things up and are trying your best to persuade the person to stick around. You want to give it another go, try and resolve things or just make contact again and they just never reply or return your messages and calls. That’s not “ghosting”. It’s often painful, I agree. And it can be disrespectful and confusing. Let’s get one thing clear though – you were clearly informed. So, even though this kind of behaviour isn’t ideal in any ending, because the other person (was it you?) didn’t get an opportunity to contribute to the decision, it’s so crucial to know you’re not ghosted. You do still need time to heal and find ways to make peace with this, too. It’s your healing process and emotional digesting that’s all about helping you to discover what’s even better for you then this previous partner. Now, doesn’t that sound wonderful?! Here’s what ghosting really is. Ghosting means the person who exits never explains why they’ve disappeared and then also never returns your calls or messages. They vanish, disappear and are never to be heard or seen again – just like a ghost! It’s not like catfishing. To be catfished you can have an interaction online with a fake profile and feel like you’re chatting to someone real but then they leave. These are real people, though. They just don’t want to be real with you. In fact, they were not genuine or sincere to begin with. Think of it like reality TV – how real is that? Whether it’s elcome to the world of avoidance, negligence, laziness, carelessness, naivety, unawareness and unhealed relationships, all disguised under the umbrella of “modern dating” and “doing business”. The aforementioned behaviours are being seen more and more in business, friendships or romantic relationships – and we’ve coined the new term “ghosting”, where the act of disappearing mid courting or during business, has become commonplace. Let’s get totally transparent about ghosting culture – it’s become normal and left us a little broken or perplexed, but who’s to blame? Why do we care? We’ve all had an experience where someone you’re chatting to just vanishes into thin air without any explanation. Is there a way to come back from a disappearing act and find healthy closure? Stop wondering where they went and why they didn’t like you. Start making sure you like YOU. Everything else will fall into place. You just weren’t meant to do life or business with that person.
that kind of media or any other kind of media you’re interacting on, you have to question the reality of how genuine all exchanges are.
The best interactions are usually the ones IRL (in real life) where you get to feel each other’s energy. You get to experience tonality and timing which means there’s less error for misunderstanding. If you’re only ever interacting with someone online and they just suddenly disappear, it’s because they were never really going to be real or honest about who they are to begin with. You actually didn’t have a relationship with them at all. It was an illusion, a lie and the interaction may have felt so real, but it wasn’t. I find it all too common for people online to tell you what they want to do to you, or with you, in a text, only to never deliver. Don’t get me wrong, because it can and does actually happen in person, too. Some call it “love bombing” where so many promises and plans are delivered and fantasised about very early on whilst dating. They “bomb” you with all the things! It just goes off and you’re exploding with incredible love. Sometimes intentions are pure and the “love bomber” is just getting carried away and probably should slow down to discover and ascertain sustainable compatibility. Sometimes it’s also for reasons that are manipulative, to get what they want, which is usually “one foot in the bed’, or perhaps financial or social gain. It makes me wonder if they’re just treating you like a modern day call hotline and expecting you to talk “dirty” back, but this time they’re not paying you for it! Oh, but you will later in other ways. So stay grounded and if someone promises you the world early on, it’s because they will probably deliver an Atlas.
b They don’t want to hurt or disappoint the other person by having an honest and difficult conversation with them.
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TheDemiGhost When you drop off from a conversation and don’t tell them you’re leaving the room or going to sleep. The etiquette used to be more like, “Hey, I’m just getting in the shower now so let’s chat more later” or “Thanks for the chat. I’m going to get some shut-eye now so when is a good time to see you or call you again?” You’re probably still going to hear from them again but it’s a half-arsed behaviour that shows they’re just not putting much effort into making you feel secure or communicated to. The Demi Ghost affects confidence or faith in people and it could also be a precursor to the full ghost experience. We just either accept the “breadcrumb” behaviour or we start to lose self-worth as we question why more respect wasn’t shown. Breadcrumbing is when they’re slowly letting you go. Someone who breadcrumbs leads you on with non-committal interest by dropping small morsels of interest. They will send an occasional message, usually after 9pm, when they want someone to chat to as you feed their ego and help them fall asleep. They don’t phone you or make any plans to see you.
There’s different forms and levels of the Casper act... true self already saw the orange flags and should’ve just let it all go during the simmer.
TheFakeGhost
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Did they really ghost or did they forget, get sick or even die?! I know when you read this, it sounds satirical and sarcastic. I’m not really a sarcastic person but I love black humour. I mean, what if they really died? It’s so rare that anything like this would happen but it really could.
TheFizzleGhost This is the type of ending that didn’t really end. You thought it ended but were you really ghosted or was there a misunderstanding? How are they simmering you? Slowly fizzling it out in the hope that you end it for them is major avoidance behaviour. It’s also very narcissistic or sociopathic. Some may call it “gaslighting”.
The “simmer” is the breadcrumbs. If you’re willing to accept the gear change and allow it, you’ll probably eventually get annoyed and send a message saying you’re ending things. This is just to fuel your ego self. Your
“It’s become normal and left us a little broken or perplexed, but who’s to blame?”
TheFullGhost This is when you get the whole hog! You get no warning and all the donuts. Zero. Nothing. Bye! And, “Where’d they go?” Here’s the common notion with a “full ghosting” experience. Were they actually not even available to begin? When you get this type of experience, it’s very common that the reason for the disappearance is because that person is already in a relationship and they’re acting out their fantasy with you. They’re rehearsing what it would be like to be single as they stay in their unhappy relationship instead of working on it. It may also be the case of dishonesty in other areas of their interactions. Did they lie?
GHOSTING TYPES
Sometimes, I’ve been known to reconnect with my ghoster months later with a message asking if they’re still alive. You’ll usually be met with the same bullshit or banter but it keeps them accountable and you learn that your intuition was correct or use it as an opportunity for a closure chat.
This phrase could easily describe how you feel when it comes to making decisions with such finality. Is this what goes through the mind of a ghoster, where someone decides to stop contact suddenly? Do they or you, just know, do you think? Or is it a case of taking sweet time and the orange flags are ignored until there is finally a decision to vanish? What if you’re the ghostee? Do you tell yourself you’re relieved and probably best off it happened now? Or are you despondent with a lower self-worth or self-esteem? It’s when no contact is made ever again that the person who stopped contact has chosen emphatically to cut all contact and the act that excludes all communication is telling, in itself. It’s like they actually want you to forget them and think they don’t exist or at least not exist in your life and head. Did they make this decision with such conviction, out of fear? Or was it possibly out of love? Did you dodge a bullet? Was there something and someone else that was better for you? Did you manage to avoid another painful lesson or will this rejection be your redirection that’s going to give you more of your heart’s healthy crusade? Whatever the answer, my book Where’d They Go? will help you to understand how ghosting is the highest blessing of your life! Before phones were invented, people made plans when they finished having a conversation together. It was social culture and etiquette to say when they’d see each other next. This was the way the interaction often ended. It does still happen now, too, but not as often. Culture has changed. You don’t need to end every chat – DM, text message, email or video/Zoom/FaceTime with a phrase or comment about when you’ll talk or catch up next. You already know you will probably see them within the next hours online on one of the many social media apps you share and are friends on. You’re also very busy socialising on these apps with many others. Culture has changed whereby it has become more acceptable and the “norm” to just end a chat without telling the person you’re ending it. It’s very rare that someone will tell you that they’re now going to bed, to do a yoga class, to walk into a meeting and turn off their phone or at least their notifications. Now, this isn’t “ghosting” but it sure is being non communicative – not openly sharing or disrespectful behaviour. We allow it and so it continues. What you allow is what will continue but hopefully we can start to reintroduce phrases that help one another feel heard, valid and valued. What if you have been talking to someone about a job and you never hear back from them? This has happened to me so many times! I was ghosted in emails and phone calls with people in my line of work. I might be pitching an idea and some creative content or writing an article for media publications and then NOTHING. I’ve often said to myself, “Where’d they go?” This thought process was the inspiration for the title of this book. I must admit though, as it has happened, I’d make up stories in my head about why they’re avoiding all contact but you’ll never really know unless you ask. It leaves one problem. How can you ask if they’ve vanished? Time is the answer to everything. Think about all the phrases with that word in it. “Time heals all”. “All we have is time”. “Time is an illusion”. “Time stands still”. The thing is, it’s with “time” that eventually they come back. The wheel always turns! Even if you legitimately never see or hear from them again, they’ll be thinking of you! It might not be right away but you’ll pop into their mind. Business ghosting is quite different but it can feel similar. Sometimes “ghosting” happens in business because they’d perhaps stolen an idea or some of your professional advice. Or maybe they have now gone with a cheaper option? It’s often ruthless but all too common in many professions. Business is business. You eventually may or may not find out and may or may not deal with it. What if it wasn’t as malicious or ruthless and just a matter of their readiness to collaborate or hire you? Perhaps something changed and they’re so “knee deep” in a new structure, strategy or system that they just can’t muster the time or energy to explain to you? Perhaps they’re planning to eventually reply but from a triage perspective you’re simply not their priority?
WHERE’D THEY GO? by Andi Lew (Heart To Heart Publishing RRP $27.95) is out now at book stores across Australia. Get your signed copy or ebook at andilew.com WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW
I spoke to a friend once who got completely ghosted in a business interaction. He had pitched a marketing strategy and content video idea to a brand who reached out to him. He explained to me that they just stopped replying completely out of the blue and even though they were keen and it was “all systems go”, they vanished. One day, he noticed on their website that they used his IP (intellectual property). He called them out and simply confronted them with an email forwarding his work displayed online, an invoice and his proof of concept telling them that they copied his work and charged for a consulting fee. He explained that he was fine if they wanted to use another video production company but they were not allowed to steal his idea. This was his form of closure. He was paid and no longer confused. You won’t always get to discover the truth or deal with the disappearance via closure, though. The good news is that if you remain positive and focused, you’ll move onto other business wins, growth and keep soaring. For me, this always works and eventually if you’re doing well in your field, those in that field will notice. That’s when they’ll eventually reach back out and be ready or you’ll reach back out and see if it’s better timing. I guess you could say it’s a beautiful mix of tenacity, timing and trust. If you’re getting any type of ghosting it’s important to understand that it does happen, but it’s not healthy. Since I’m all about wellness on every level, including relationships and mental health, and as a certified coach, I know all too well that the more you visualise your ideal “well world”, including relationships, the more you’ll know how to attract it. You’ll recognise it when you see it! ■
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR ANDI LEW is one of Australia’s most popular wellness professionals and spokesperson with 30 years of experience in wellness education. A bestselling author, with a total of nine books, Andi has hosted lifestyle TV shows, appeared as an expert in wellness and dating on live programs and is a highly sought after rep for wellness brands and events. Moreover, she’s experienced the single life, being ghosted personally and professionally, and enjoyed every moment of life’s rollercoaster.
Clockwise from top left: Master chefs Juan Amador, Norbert Niederkofler, Jorge Vallejo and Masa Takayama
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Davidoff’s latest Chefs Release is a true gift for the haut fumeur...
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By DUNCAN QUINN In February 1945, UK Prime Minister Winston Churchill hosted a luncheon in honor of the King of Saudi Arabia, which he later wrote about in his memoirs: “A number of social problems arose. I had been told that neither smoking nor alcoholic beverages were allowed in the Royal Presence. As I was the host at the luncheon I raised the matter at once, and said… that if it was His Majesty’s religion to deprive himself of smoking and alcohol, I must point out that my rule of life prescribed, as an absolutely sacred rite, smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after – and if need be during – all meals, and in the intervals between them. The King graciously accepted the Churchill’sposition.” passion for cigars was legendary, and he would have deeply appreciated the collection of extra-fine examples that bear his name and silhouette made by Davidoff Cigars. And he would no doubt also appreciate the storied brand’s Chefs Edition cigars, tailor made for those whose eating habits mirror those of the great statesman himself. These rare releases occur when Davidoff invites a curated group of world-class cuisiniers, who are also cigar aficionados, to participate in the creation of these coveted sticks. The culinary masters typically travel to the Dominican Republic to Davidoff’s factory and tobacco fields, where they meet with master blenders and are introduced to the timehonored process of cigarTheblending.master blenders then work with the invitees to make sample cigars reflecting individual flavor profiles the chefs suggest. When they unanimously select one cigar above all from the series of tests, the latest Chefs Edition is born. Needless to say it is an event of Chuchillian importance in the cigar world – and we have reason to celebrate as Davidoff has recently released the third Chefs Edition, its first in three years. The latest Chefs Edition release was created in collaboration with four chefs from around the world, three of whom are the proud owners of three Michelin stars each: chef Norbert Niederkofler of Michelin
MAXIM.COM.AU 77 “Uniting the staggering expertise of nine Michelin stars.”
“Linked by shared values of kitchen and cigar artistry.”
CIGARS
DAVIDOFFOFCOURTESYPHOTOSALL
3-starred St. Hubertus at Hotel Rosa Alpina in the Dolomites of Italy; chef Juan Amador of Michelin 3-starred Amador Restaurant in Vienna, Austria; chef Masa Takayama of Michelin 3-starred Masa in New York City; and chef Jorge Vallejo of Quintonil restaurant in Mexico City, which has been selected as one of the 50 best restaurants in the world.
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The latest Chefs Edition is a cigar whose main flavours of creaminess, floral notes and caramel sweetness go perfectly with a wellaged whisky both before, during and after lunch – just as Churchill would have desired. It is a carefully balanced blend created from four well-aged Dominican filler tobaccos, featuring a Mexican binder crowned by an Ecuadorian wrapper. And, of course, the Chefs Edition smokes are Churchill format (7x48 ring gauge), presented in a remarkable wood and ceramic package containing ten cigars. The ceramic base has a second function as an ashtray, holding four cigars securely in its notches, aiding and abetting a tasting, you might say; and the wooden lid can be used as a serving tray, with recesses for holding spirit glasses or cigar accessories, as you prefer.
“We are proud of our partnership with acclaimed three-Michelin-starred chefs from Europe and the U.S. as well as one of the brightest lights in Latin American cuisine,” says Edward Simon, CMO of Oettinger Davidoff. “The third installment of our Davidoff Chefs Edition unites the staggering expertise of nine Michelin Stars and expresses the common values that the masters of both our crafts share.” ■
The Chefs Edition release is linked by shared values of kitchen and cigar artistry: pure ingredients, local sourcing, sustainability, and attention to detail and quality. Sourcing and bringing together only the finest ingredients to provide an exceptional taste experience that pushes boundaries, it strives to choose innovative combinations of ingredients, as new flavour combinations lead to new experiences. The careful and precise way in which the selected ingredients are married leads to a perfect taste journey one associates both with cigars and fine dining.
80 MAXIM.COM.AU MODEL PROFILE
DAILEY Interview by PARIS RAINE
Photography by DREW
MAXIM.COM.AU 81 MULTITALENTED Miss As a certified personal trainer, artist, fitness model, calendar girl, WBFF bodybuilding competitor and bikini pageant winner, the only way is up for SHAYNA HOLT…
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“Confidence is something I work on every day and I believe it is key – it can make anyone look sexy!”
What have you learned about men over the years? They act super tough in public, but behind closed doors they’re big babies who like to be cuddled and loved on. What’s one thing men should always know about women? The way to a woman’s heart is through our brain. Compliment us, ask questions, be attentive and excite us with your intelligence. Who is your girl crush? I have so many amazing women I look up to, but Ana Cheri is a huge role model of mine and I give a lot of the success I have had so far in my career to her. She really helped me get to where I am today. Also Marilyn Monroe, Lindsey Pelas, Emily Sears and Yaslen Clemente are all amazing women that I aspire to be like. Describe your ideal date. My ideal date would be meeting at a coffee shop then going for a pretty stroll somewhere. Sounds basic but I want the opportunity for us to talk and really get to know each other – plus, I get to see how you like your coffee and that’s super important. Where would you like to be in five years?
In five years I see myself with my own successful workout clothing line for women, booking modeling jobs all around the world and constantly travelling, finishing my college degree and just overall being the happiest version of myself. What’s next for you? I am currently on prep for my first WBFF bodybuilding competition and I am working on a new fitness project that I hope to release by the end of summer. Stay tuned! ■
f MAXIM.COM.AU 83 abulous photo shoot, Shayna. Give us a little more background about yourself. When I was 15 I fell in love with fitness and modelling, and promised myself that one day I would be a fitness model. With years of hard work and dedication, I made the move to California and am now a certified personal trainer, Monster Energy Girl, Hooters Calendar girl, bikini pageant winner and am hoping to add MAXIM model to this. I used to have MAXIM posters on my bedroom walls when I was young, so to have this opportunity is a dream come true. Nice! What would people be most surprised to know about you? I’m an artist! I used to win art competitions in grade school and it is something I still do today to express myself. Also, I am a huge hockey fan. What is your best asset? I think it’s my eyes. They seem to be what I get complimented on the most and I believe they are the windows to the soul. Other than my eyes, I have a huge heart and am very empathetic. When do you feel sexy? I feel my sexiest when I’m confident. Confidence is something I work on every day and I believe it is key – it can make anyone look sexy! What do you look for in a man? I look for someone who is a go-getter like me, who is hardworking and has big dreams, polite to everyone they meet, kind-hearted and supports me in my life goals. And, of course, they have to love animals.
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MAXIM.COM.AU 85 NAME: Shayna Holt BORN: October 8, 1999 HOME TOWN: ColoradoColoradoSprings,USA FIVE-WORDDESCIPTION:SELF “Caring, driven, passionate, confident and creative.” GO-TO DRINK: “Definitely vodka and soda, with a splash of cranberry.” LIFE MOTTO: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky TWITTER: @ShaynaHoltXtra INSTAGRAM: @shaynaholt UPDATESTATUS “The way to a woman’s heart is through our brain. Compliment us, ask questions, be attentive and excite us with your intelligence.”
And who better to revolutionise the condom than SKYN®, Australia and New Zealand’s number one sexual wellness brand. Whether you’re looking to spice things up with a long term partner or paint the town safely, SKYN® Excitation Polyisoprene Lubricated Condoms are a game changer. Thanks to their intensely raised studs (placed in a unique wave-like pattern) and cooling lubricant, these condoms will stimulate her most sensitive areas during intercourse. The secret to these hyper-arousing condoms is the revolutionary SKYNFEEL® technology. A non-latex material that feels so soft and natural, you can feel everything. The result is an intimate skin-to-skinCondomsexperience.canhelp open up a conversation about what your partner likes and their sexual health status and sends the signal that you’re safe and trustworthy. An Excitation condom also offers a whole new way to enjoy mutual pleasure, so you’ll never have to choose between safe sex and great sex. Keep a pack of yourpackingcondomsExcitationinthebedsidedrawerforeasyaccessanddon’tforgettoaddthemtoyourlistbeforenextgetaway.
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T he moment you put on a condom can be exciting as it’s a pretty good indicator that you’re about to get laid. Despite their vital role in allowing us to enjoy safe sex, some blokes still think of condoms as a bit unsexy. There are many common myths that contribute to this reputation, including that condoms reduce sensitivity or that they just get in the way. Let’s bust those myths right out of the gate. Firstly, SKYN® condoms are so soft you can barely tell they’re there at all. Furthermore, instead of hindering intimacy, there are now condoms on the market that work as a powerful sexual tool in the bedroom. Seriously.
DON’T BE ANTI-SOCIAL FOLLOW MAXIM EVERYWHEREAUSTRALIA FACEBOOK/MAXIMAU TWITTER/MAXIM_AUS INSTAGRAM/MAXIM_AUS YOUTUBE/MAXIMAUSTRALIA MAXIM.COM.AU Visit MAXIM Australia online for your fix of girls, entertainment, sport, tech, lifestyle, competitions, and the web’s hottest video content. Well, the hottest content that doesn’t involve the words “feeder fetish webcam”. We know you’ll totally search for that after you read this. MAXIM AUSTRALIA iPAD APP Our app isn’t just a digital version of the mag, but features interactive content and links. Take a peek behind-the-scenes of our exclusive photo shoots and buy products featured inside at the push of a button or swipe of your screen. MAXIM.COM.AU/APPLE MAXIMDIGITALAUSTRALIAEDITION Get with the times, you Boomer loser. Our digital edition on Zinio is exactly the same as the print edition, and available for Apple, Android, and PC devices. Go to zinio.com.au to either buy a single edition or subscribe for 12 months. MAXIM.COM.AU/ZINIO NOT JUST A MAGAZINE WAITING AN ENTIRE MONTH FOR OUR MAGICAL PUBLICATION TO ARRIVE IN SHOPS CAN BE EXHAUSTING. THAT’S WHY WE OFFER YOU A LOT MORE THAN JUST THE INK AND PAPER IN YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW...
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MAXIM.COM.AUello,Liv,welcome to MAXIM. Tell us a bit about yourself. I’m a romance author writing diverse books with humour and heart, and I give sex advice for women’s magazines and websites. I’m a supporter of mental health and turned to writing for anxiety therapy – medication and counselling didn’t improve my symptoms, so creativity drowns the overthinking by focusing on fictional characters and storylines. My novel Stepping Stone was in the celebrity 2022 Mother’s Day gift bags – I was so excited getting my book in the hands of big names. Cool setting for your photo shoot. Yes, the set was actually created at a studio on the Gold Coast. The Italian bedroom theme had plantation shutters and blinds to shoot shafts of natural sunlight through a window for a moody, stylish and sexy look.
LIV & LEARN
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A romance author and sex advice columnist who is guaranteed to make you laugh. Yes, there’s a lot to love about Victorian LIV ARNOLD…
GIRL NEXT DOOR
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I enjoy writing sex scenes in novels. When I started writing romance I thought, “How many ways can someone possibly have sex?” Boy, was I wrong. I love exploring different themes – my novel Etched in Stone had a theme of sex in public places, Stepping Stone has light BDSM and a sexual awakening and Law & Disorder uses props around the house. What is your best asset? When I meet someone, I introduce myself with a smile. I also hope I make people feel like they can be themselves. What would people be most surprised to know about you? I don’t know how to put a key on a keychain, swim, ride a bicycle, turn on a washing machine or use chopsticks. Oh, and my favourite stovetop burner is the one on the front left. What have you learned about men over the years?
STEPPING STONE by Liv Arnold is out July 11
To be the next Meredith Wild, J. Kenner and Cherry Adair. These New York Times bestselling authors write authentic characters with relatable issues, and I admire them so much. Their sex scenes have me reaching for the fan. ■
“When I started writing romance novels I thought, ‘How many ways can someone possibly have sex?’”
A hotdog with all the fillings, a majestic beast between the sheets and someone who can rise to the occasion. Describe your ideal date. A walk in the park while calling out inappropriate comments to passing strangers like, “I doubt the authorities would find the body” or “My uterus itches”. What’s next for you? My upcoming steamy romance novel, Stepping Stone, is released on July 11. As I’ve experienced anxiety most of my life, a percentage of my profits will go towards Anxiety and Depression Association of America. My main male character faces PTSD, anxiety and depression challenges. I got inspiration from a friend who served in the army in Afghanistan and it also features characters from the LGBTQ community. Where would you like to be in five years?
There’s not much awareness of men’s mental health. Compared to women, men are less likely to seek support and have a higher risk of suicide. Always check in on them, no matter how strong they appear. On a lighter note, man flu is very real. What’s one thing men should always know about women? Women want someone to make them very merry and take them around the world for one evening. No heavy breathers and “close talkers”. Men – make an effort. I watched a movie called Malibu Crush where two best friends pretend to be highly acclaimed film school students to declare their love for an ex-girlfriend. No-one’s done that for me before. What do you look for in a man?
90 MAXIM.COM.AU GIRL NEXT DOOR
When do you feel sexy?
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92 MAXIM.COM.AU GIRL NEXT DOOR NAME: Liv Arnold HOME TOWN: Melbourne, Vic BORN: April 30 FIVE-WORDDESCRIPTION:SELF “100% not a morning person.” GIRL CRUSH: “Sophie Monk — hot and funny.” LIFE MOTTO: “Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been.” – Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor INSTAGRAM & TWITTER: @liv_au UPDATESTATUS andoverthinking“Creativitydrownsthebyfocusingonfictionalcharactersstorylines.”
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94 MAXIM.COM.AU BEDROOM HERO SEX
Want to spice up your antics in the boudoir? MAXIM explores two of the most powerful products in the Sensuous arsenal – Raging Bull and EDGE Delay Gel...
By REILLY SULLIVAN In our humble opinion, gels are a pretty vital tool for a healthy sex life. Sensuous, Australia’s leading maker of pleasure products, agrees. That’s why they’ve recently made the move into one of the country’s leading supermarket chains. In addition to added convenience, this milestone push into Coles represents a new era of de-stigmatising intimate products. Now it’s never been easier to stock up on their essential range, which is specially formulated to help get you off. The first shopping basket must-have is EDGE Delay Gel. Made in Australia from nature’s finest sexually-enhancing ingredients (hello Horny Goatweed), EDGE has been formulated to safely delay your orgasm and ejaculation. The gel typically takes around an hour to become fully effective and the benefits can last for several hours, offering a non-medical solution for PE with thousands of happy customers. Made from a silky, waterbased formula, it feels great on your member and is ideal for hours of non-stop action.
The second Sensuous essential well worth a try is Raging Bull. Formulated using a unique blend of herbs renowned for their sexual prowess, Raging Bullwas created to address some of the most common yet taboo issues which impact male performance. In particular, our own anxieties over our size and hardness. This powerful gel works to stimulate blood flow and boost sensation on the penis, helping you stay up longer and enjoy better sex. More blood flow means bigger and harder erections too, so prepare to experience your longest length on record. Purchased together, EDGE and Raging Bull are a one-two punch for harder erections, longer staying power and a more intense finale. Pick up both in a handle travel-sized tube that won’t stand out at the checkout line. Forget unreliable sprays and dodgy imported products and give the Sensuous range a whirl. You and your partner will thank us later. ■ Find Raging Bull and EDGE Delay Gel at select andWarehousesupermarkets,ColesChemistpharmaciesallgoodadultstores.DiscovertheentireSensuousRangeat
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AustraliaTheMAXIM OfficialWorldtheofWomen Calendar2022isavailableat www.maxim.com.au/ calendar $19.95RRP,TOWN:HOME VenezuelaSucre, LIVES: Miami, U.S.A.Florida BORN: 12July WORDFIVE SELF-DESCRIPTION: “Passionate, familiar,independent, adventurous loyal.”and DRINK:FAVOURITE Margarita.""Spicy MOTTO:LIFE attitude,“Your aptitude,yournot determinewill altitude.”your INSTAGRAM: @maria_vicarioSTATUS UPDATE MAXIM.COM.AU 97
The popular comedian of Emmy nominated show Whose Line Is It Anyway?, discuss his final day on earth…
Interview by SANTI PINTADO
98 MAXIM.COM.AU 24 HOURS Greg Proops
What can audiences expect from your upcoming comedy show? Tears, drinking and laughter, then we go onstage. Have you ever felt like you’ve died onstage during a stand-up gig? Why? What have you heard? How do you want to die? In a bowl of hot chocolate. Do you have any deathbed confessions? I’m the Grand Duchess Anastasia. What’s your last meal? You buying? My Wife makes a swinging New Orleans BBQ shrimp sandwich. That, and a post dinner joint. Are you going to Heaven or Hell? Both. First Heaven then, when I get bored, it’s down to where the good music is. What do you say to God and the Devil when you get there? Could’ve used more time, Lady. If it’s the devil, “F—k you, for Trump.” What’s the worst joke you’ve ever heard during your time on Earth? Every crap “my girlfriend is so fat, bitchy”, etc... joke. What’s the dumbest thing you ever did on Earth? Use Facebook for a few years before it was revealed they are evil incarnate. What or who would you like to be reincarnated as? Me, I think I could do it better if I had a second chance. What are your friends saying over your casket? “He finally lost weight.” What are your Whose Line… cast members saying over your casket? “He shut up at last.” What’s written on your tombstone? Feminist. Got any last words? This vodka is delicious. ■ “I think I could do it better if I had a second chance.”
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