Building Resilient Children Resilience
is
a
paramount in building resilience and our social and learning capabilities. Babies and young children are acutely aware of the atmosphere around them and are constantly seeking affirmation of their relationship to the larger world. This of course, begins principally with the parents. In the best of all possible worlds, when a baby is born, it is placed into the arms of a mother who has eagerly awaited her or his arrival along with a doting father ready to support, love and encourage them both. The birth goes smoothly without any unexpected events, the baby feeds normally and the bonding deepens between parents and child.
to the pupil of her eye. When we give attention to something that greatly treasured quality that we can build in interests us, the pupil of the eye dilates. ourselves and in our children. It can be When the baby sees the dilated pupil both learned and taught. In this rapidly of the parent, it excites the brain to evolving world, resilience and the ability produce neurotransmitters which in to adapt to a changing environment turn, literally grow the connections is a skill that allows us to grow in our within her brain. Perhaps you remember capacities and respond to the challenges reading about the Rumanian orphans that are happening all around us. many years ago who were left in their While it is natural for parents to want cribs and were not cuddled or interacted to protect their children from any kind with, and neither their bodies nor brains, of trauma, it is also wise to recognise developed normally. that some of these challenges will come Resilience begins in its very whether we, and they, are prepared rudimentary form through developing for them or not. These could be wide a loving network that begins with the and varied including natural disasters, parents and gradually extends out to social dislocation when friends move a wider circle of people who love her. away, when a loved When she has needs, ‘It is increasingly recognised that the first three they are met. If she family member or pet dies, when years of a child’s life are paramount in building re- is hungry, thirsty, they feel left out, silience and our social and learning capabilities’ hot, cold, tired or We know that when babies are born soiled, she is cared for and her needs are bullied or ‘different’ and, as children grow older, perhaps through rapidly the brain is incredibly ‘plastic’ as she met. This gradually builds a reassurance evolving technology, a changing adapts to the tumult of information in her that even though, up until now climate, challenges within the economic received and is busy building neural she’s relied on ‘womb service’, now that environment, family dislocation or other connections to make sense of her she is on the outside of her mother’s unforeseen events, all of which impact world. Already she has picked up a lot body, everything is alright and that she of information while in utero where she is loved and cared for. significantly upon them. We all yearn to raise resilient has been affected by her mother’s diet In the first few weeks of life a baby children who can deal with whatever and lifestyle choices, routines and her often prefers to be firmly wrapped up challenges they might face in their emotions. These have begun to affect as this mimics her experience in utero, lives. This resilience, the ability to grow the genetic expression within the cells especially towards the end when space through our challenges, consists of of the baby’s body through chemical was at a premium! If you leave her arms certain beliefs, attitudes and behaviours interactions with receptor sites on the and legs to jerk about, she doesn’t yet that we can help instill in our children, surface of the cell membrane. understand what is happening as the We use to believe that babies couldn’t neural networks haven’t yet been laid but firstly we need to understand the see when they were born. Now we know down or strengthened. very beginnings of resilience. It is increasingly recognized that that their eyes are perfectly focused to At about eight weeks of age a baby the first three years of a child’s life are go from the crook of the parent’s arm discovers that she has a body. Often
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Photos: Depositphotos
Every Parent wishes that they could shelter their child from traumatic events. However, this is not always possible or indeed desirable. Petrea King examines the ways in which we can raise our children to ensure that they can deal with whatever life throws at them.
it is the hands that she sees first; these amazing fingers and hands that seem to have some relationship to her. In time, she realizes that she can control their movements. As a baby settles into her body and builds all the connecting pathways that will allow her to move her head, roll over, sit, crawl, stand and walk – in the best of all possible worlds, everybody cheers and claps at each milestone. This encouragement is tremendously important as she is dependent on feedback from the people around her, to build her confidence in continuing to make efforts despite failing over and over again. When she is cheered along and celebrated she feels encouraged and that the people who love her, believe in her capabilities. As she persists in her efforts and accomplishes the various stages of physical maturation, she is drinking in through her eyes, her ears and her tactile senses the feelings of, “I’m gorgeous! I’m lovable! I’m loved! I’m loving! I can take on the world! That’s who I am!” There is a feeling of being invincible that comes from feeling loved and supported by the people who know you best and accept you just the way you are.
These feelings of glee and happiness that our little ones experience are truly a delight to witness. However, an equal bonanza of joy is going on within the child’s body while she is building confidence in her abilities. Next to the brain, the gut secretes the most neurotransmitters – the chemicals and hormones of our emotions. So while she is accomplishing these outer physical feats, the chemical state within her body, is an inner reflection. As the multitude of ‘joy’ neurotransmitters flood out to every cell of her body, they lock onto receptor sites on the surface of the cell membrane, like a key going into a lock. This in turn, provides a profoundly positive message to the interior of the cell virtually telling the cell to optimize its performance. And there is indeed a ‘joy’ neurotransmitter called anandamide which activates the endo-cannibinoid system in the body. Ananda is a Sanskrit word meaning ‘bliss’ and, on the surface membrane of most of the cells in our bodies, is a cannabinoid receptor site – a lock, waiting for the key of anandamide to activate it. When we and our children experience bliss, it is this
hormone anandamide that the body is producing. It is the chemical responsible for the ‘runners high’ when athletes break through the pain barrier and feel a profound sense of exhilaration; we secrete it when we are in ‘flow’ or in a state of complete absorption where time seems to not exist. We also secrete it when we meditate and research has shown that experienced Buddhist monks and Christian nuns all secrete this marvelous little chemical when absorbed in prayer and meditation. Very young children of course, are constantly absorbed in the present moment and this endo-cannibinoid system is an import part of their biological growth. Anandamide provides a profoundly positive message to the cell to increase its good health and functioning. We know that young children laugh far more frequently than adults so therefore are also producing more anandamide than adults. Adults too are often pre-occupied with the past and the future while young children are more absorbed in the present moment. This is an important part of their physical and emotional development and indeed, something we can relearn from our children – the
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