NUVO: Indy's Alternative Voice - April 20, 2011 by NUVO

i in t r a M r e w lo F r e ld E e h T

vermouth, 3 parts 4 parts Absolut Vodka, 1 part dry elderflower cordial all ingredients. Stir glass with ice cubes. Add wit MIXOLOGY: Fill a mixing h lime wedge. s. Ga rnish and strain into a chilled cockta il glas husetts Ave. FIND JOE AT: 339 Ma ssac DATING STATUS: Engaged e brewing, doing push-ups HOBBIES: Pla ying music, hom –Kris King a single lady, I’m the place to be.” BEST PICK-UP LINE: “If you’re g lady, I’m the place to be.” –Kris Kin le sing a re you’ “If : LINE -UP PICK ST WOR in the Final Four EVENT: Playing in my band FAVORITE INDY EXPERIENCE OR won to go to the championship Tourney Tent the first time Butler game. Menstral Show UP: The Jumping Sha rk FAVORITE MUSIC ARTIST OR GRO Anything by Huey Lewis FAVORITE SONG ATYOUR BAR: Dario Franchitti, E TOYOUR BAR? Sam Perkins, HAVE ANY FAMOUS PEOPLE COM Paulo Nutini, Postal Service m Stereo Deluxe…that ,WHOWOULDYOU BE? Jay fro ELSE ONE ANY BE LD COU YOU IF guy’s pretty famous. a Skittle float in the air HIDDEN TALENT: Ca n make ativity COCKTAIL: Balance and cre KEY TO MAKING THE PERFECT ws, largest scotch KNOWN FOR: Amazing bre WHAT ISYOUR ESTABLISHMENT tenders. bar t” des “mo selection in Indy, and the sexiest cut off can ’t argue your way out of getting SAGE BARTENDER ADVICE: You and tip big early..

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THIS WEEK APR. 20 - 27, 2011 VOL. 22 ISSUE 9 ISSUE #1036

SPECIAL PULLOUT

GREEN GUIDE

Your guide to the best resources for living as green as possible in Indy —including a list of the top allies in fighting to keep our planet alive, the answers for all your recycling questions, and top picks for where to eat, shop and ride your bike for maximum healthy living and enjoyment.

in this issue

THE WEED ISSUE (4.20.11)

14 A&E

NEWS

FILM

Marijuana in the U.S. Legal, illegal and both

Cinema for stoners 10 movies best enjoyed high

36 CLASSIFIEDS

FEATURE

FOOD

23 FOOD

Indiana Cannabis Awards Honoring weed warriors

High and hungry 10 meals to satisfy the munchies

39 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

10 COVER STORY

FEATURE

04 HAMMER

Indy’s best buzz spots 10 places to visit while high

05 HOPPE

The greenest day of the year is here again. For Indy’s loyal herb enthusiasts, NUVO has gathered the most important ingredients to ensure a successful 4.20. Whether you’re looking for the best place to get high or want to brush up on Indiana’s marijuana laws, we’ve got you covered. Let the extrava-ganja begin.

25 MOVIES

27 MUSIC

arts

08 NEWS 33 WEIRD NEWS

BAFFLED BY ODDITIES

Demetri Martin stops by the Egyptian Room on Thursday, April 21, to regale audiences with his sharp wit. Marc sat down with the savvy comedian to talk about his approach to humor before he hits the stage. BY MARC D. ALLAN

music

MUSIC TO SPARK BY

J. Brookinz, the local producer who brought us The Gateway Drug: THC, is unleashing another reefer-heavy record to follow up last year’s release. Celebrate with Brookinz & Co. Wednesday night at Rock Lobster. BY SCOTT SHOGER

CORRECTIONS In our review last week of Joffrey Ballet at Clowes, we misidentified the first name of Patricia McBride as Peggy. We regret the error. Our news feature last week (“Is our water quality?”) mistakenly indicated that the planned Deep Rock Tunnel Connector would run to Belmond, Ind. The tunnel will in fact connect to the Belmont Advanced Wastewater Treatment Plant in Indianapolis.

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STAFF

EDITOR & PUBLISHER KEVIN MCKINNEY // KMCKINNEY@NUVO.NET EDITORIAL // EDITORS@NUVO.NET MANAGING EDITOR/ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR JIM POYSER // JPOYSER@NUVO.NET WEB EDITOR/CITYGUIDES EDITOR LAURA MCPHEE // LMCPHEE@NUVO.NET INTERIM NEWS EDITOR CATHERINE GREEN // CGREEN@NUVO.NET MUSIC EDITOR SCOTT SHOGER // SSHOGER@NUVO.NET FILM EDITOR ED JOHNSON-OTT EDITORIAL ASSISTANT KEELEE HURLBURT CALENDAR ASSISTANT CHI SHERMAN CONTRIBUTING EDITORS STEVE HAMMER, DAVID HOPPE CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS WAYNE BERTSCH, TOM TOMORROW CONTRIBUTING WRITERS TOM ALDRIDGE, MARC ALLAN, JOSEFA BEYER, SUSAN WATT GRADE, ANDY JACOBS JR., SCOTT HALL, RITA KOHN, LORI LOVELY, SUSAN NEVILLE, PAUL F. P. POGUE, ANDREW ROBERTS, CHUCK SHEPHERD, MATTHEW SOCEY, JULIANNA THIBODEAUX, CHUCK WORKMAN EDITORIAL INTERNS CAITLIN O’ROURKE, CAROLINE THOMAS, BRYAN WEBB ART & PRODUCTION // PRODUCTION@NUVO.NET PRODUCTION MANAGER MELISSA CARTER // MCARTER@NUVO.NET SENIOR DESIGNER CHARLIE CLARK GRAPHIC DESIGNERS JARRYD FOREMAN, EMILY J. SNIDER ADVERTISING/MARKETING/PROMOTIONS ADVERTISING@NUVO.NET // NUVO.NET/ADVERTISING DIRECTOR OF SALES AND MARKETING JOSH SCHULER // JSCHULER@NUVO.NET // 808-4617 MARKETING & PROMOTIONS MANAGER SARAH MYER // SMYER@NUVO.NET // 808-4615 PROMOTIONS COORDINATOR BETH BELANGE // BBELANGE@NUVO.NET // 808-4608

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HAMMER 2012: Landslide for Obama It’s a certainty by now

BY S T E V E H A M M E R S H A M M E R@N U V O . N E T

emocrats, rest assured. Based on the events of the past few weeks, I can say with near certainty that President Obama will win next year’s election, probably in a landslide. The kerfuffle between Republicans in Congress and the president over the budget has tipped the scales definitively. That doesn’t mean you should stay home on Election Day, but it does mean the president’s master plan to help the people while making conservatives look foolish is working perfectly. The Republicans, you see, are operating on the theory that cutting essential government services to maintain lower tax rates for the rich is popular with average people who aren’t rich, but hope to get there someday. This works well for the small percentage of people making more than $250,000 a year but doesn’t help anyone making less. Thirty years of reducing taxes on the rich has thoroughly disproven former president Ronald Reagan’s trickle-down theory.

The gap between the richest and poorest among us has widened. And every time Donald Trump or some other right-wing wacko raises the “issue” of the president’s place of birth, it only helps Obama. The president has done an excellent job of drawing the attention of the lunatics away from real issues onto the non existent issue of whether he was born in Honolulu or Kenya. My guess is that he’ll wait until September or October of next year to release his birth certificate — watching Trump and other birthers make fools of themselves is just too much fun. Why end the excitement now? With less than 18 months before the presidential election, there’s another problem facing Republicans. Just who are they going to run against Obama? So far, the field includes Trump, an egomaniac reality show star; Sarah Palin, another egomaniac reality show star, nutty as a fruitcake; former Utah governor Jon Huntsman, an honest and intelligent man who stands no chance whatsoever of getting nominated; and Mitch Daniels.

hammer // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

Let’s take a look at our governor’s accomplishments. He’s done an admirable job of being a yes-man to former presidents Reagan and George W. Bush. He was the budget director who helped turn the nation’s biggest surplus, left behind by President Clinton, into its biggest deficit ever. He’s been remarkably adept at getting himself high-paying jobs in the private sector. But as governor, he’s spent much of his time watching jobs evaporate in the state. He’s also done a heckuva job pawning off crucial state assets to private companies on 99-year leases. And, yes, he’s shown very little ability in getting Republicans and Democrats at the statehouse to even show up for work, let alone pass needed legislation. Instead of worrying about job creation, education and taxes, the Republicans have chosen to address the critical problems of homosexuality (they’re against it), carrying guns in public places (they’re for it) and making sure plenty of teachers get laid off so the next generation is even dumber than the past few have been.

The president’s master plan to help the people while making conservatives look foolish is working perfectly.

As for the other rumored contenders, Mike Huckabee is likable enough but lacks gravitas. Mitt Romney is obsessed with renouncing everything in which he once believed. The Tea Party, with its Stalin-esque insistence on ideological purity, has done the rest of us a great service. Since the only candidates capable of being nominated will, by definition, be hardcore conservatives who are suspicious of civil rights, vehemently against programs that help lift people out of poverty and adamantly for reverse RobinHood economics, the president should sail easily to reelection. All President Obama has to do is continue to keep his promises to fight for the common man, to conduct our foreign policy in an ethical manner and to keep nudging the economy in the right direction. The great thing about all this is that the president won’t even have to campaign much. Let Trump or Palin or Mitch outline their radical agendas to the people and they’ll defeat themselves. We once again have a president who’s honest, keeps his promises and never forgets the fact that he, like many of us, lived in poverty before lifting himself up through hard work and dedication. The people of this country, or at least the nonwhite people of this country, along with 40 percent of Caucasians, already know this. There’s no way he can lose — and thankfully, the rest of us will continue to win as long as he’s in office.

HOPPE Paul Ryan’s Gilded Age

Whose government is this anyway?

BY DAVID HOPPE DHOPPE@NUVO.NET

t’s tough living in a country that’s in the middle of a nervous breakdown. How else can you explain what’s become of our politics? There’s something hallucinatory about a system that treats corporations like individuals while expecting actual individuals to fend for themselves. And we call that “living responsibly.” This is what’s behind the current state and federal identity crises over what government is supposed to be. Republicans are very sure of themselves. They want to cut spending, or “starve the beast,” as a few of their more inflamed members are given to saying in moments of unguarded giddiness. As for Democrats… they’re dismayingly uncertain. They act as if they’re stuck in one of those dreams where they’re afraid they’ve made a big mistake — they’re just not sure what that mistake might be. No wonder, then, that many Dems were thrown back on their heels by Congressman Paul Ryan’s (R-Wisconsin) proposal to fix America’s budget woes by recasting the 21st century as something similar to the Gilded Age of the late 1800s. Rep. Ryan appears to have a soft spot for the robber barons that lorded over the country’s industrial boom following the Civil War. There were virtually no rules or regulations to constrain their swashbuckling, ways and they did indeed establish a dynamic economy. That’s what built some of those mansions on the Old Northside. Yes, it’s amazing what an entrepreneur can accomplish when he pays his workers whatever he wants, owns the houses where they live, sells them their groceries, doesn’t have to offer any benefits and has little or no rules or regulations to worry about, environmental or otherwise. Unions were practically unheard of during the Gilded Age. Child labor and unsafe working conditions were commonplace. In many ways, working in America then was like being a Chinese worker today. It looks like Rep. Ryan thinks we need a new generation of robber barons. Not only is he against raising taxes for American millionaires and billionaires, he wants to cut the tax rate for individuals and corporations in the top income bracket from 35 to 25 percent. This means, of course, the government will have a harder time raising the money

necessary to pay down the debt Ryan is so concerned about. That’s where people like you and me come in. Rep. Ryan wants us to get the country out of debt. He wants, for example, to get rid of Medicare and Medicaid. Have you got grandparents, or a mom and dad? Today, if they are 65 or older, their health care is largely paid for by Medicare. Yes, you pay taxes to help make this happen. But imagine if, as Ryan would have it, Mom and Dad were given vouchers to help pay for private insurance. You think insurers would be lining up for that business? You better start saving up — unless Mom and Dad are loaded, they’re going to need you to pick up the slack. Rep. Ryan probably thinks this kind of familial sacrifice is a good thing. It would certainly bring the generations closer together. Like in the old days, when Grandma and Grandpa and the kids all slept in the same room. But while Ryan wants us to fend for ourselves, he treats corporate America as if it were an orchid, delicate and vulnerable to the slightest changes in humidity. He has nothing to say about reforming the waste and inefficiencies of big banks, big insurance, big energy, big agriculture or the militaryindustrial complex. If the congressman is right, the large corporate entities that make up these parts of our economy are just waiting to make even bigger profits so they can help us help ourselves through competition and a cold-water bath of selfimprovement. If only that darned government of the People, by the People, for the People, would stay out of the way. To put the best face on it, Ryan and his colleagues simply believe in an America where business, as Calvin Coolidge once said, is business. As they see it, the rich are our champions, the straws that stir our country’s cocktail. Want more jobs? You need a rich guy, or a group of rich guys in the form of a corporation, to create them. That’s why Republican politicians can say with straight faces that preserving tax cuts for the richest Americans equals a jobs program. The dirty secret at the heart of America has always been that all people are created equal — it’s just that some are more equal than others, i.e. those in our country’s biggest corporations. When the Supreme Court ruled in 2010’s Citizens United case that free speech means companies should be able to speak out the same as you and me (except, of course, with a lot more money), the country became one of big business, by big business, for big business. And that’s what our nationwide identity crisis is all about: whose government is this anyway? It looks like we’re about to find out.

Representative Ryan seems to think we need a new generation of robber barons.

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // news

GADFLY

by Wayne Bertsch

HAIKU NEWS by Jim Poyser

how many ways can I write the same general idea… let’s see: taxing the rich is the only way I see we can save our country top two percent owns so much it’s nothing more than planet travesty rich folks make their dough on the backs of poor folks — is that why I’m bent o’er? GOP shows such courage defending the rich brings tears to my eyes! that corporations can give unlimited dough to campaigns just sucks Supreme Court must be in the pocket of big biz; we are only lint feudal overlords sprawl across our lives in a subtle oppression politics is no help as its collusion with biz leaves us high, dry enjoy 420 but don’t let your high distract from revolution

GOT ME ALL TWITTERED!

Follow @jimpoyser on Twitter for more Haiku News.

THUMBSUP THUMBSDOWN INDYGOES HYBRID

In time for April’s oft-overlooked Earth Day, IndyGo inaugurated its greenest initiative to date. The city’s public transportation system announced a convoy of hybrid busses. Five half-gas, half-electric models fired up on Monday, along with five new conventional busses. Supported by grant dollars, local funds and stimulus money, the program promises to cut costs and shift Indianapolis forward into a sustainable future. In a fleet of 146 busses, the few hybrids may seem insignificant, but any damper on our gas-guzzling ways deserves a nod.

NOT SO GREEN LEGISLATURE

By advancing a fairly passive energy bill, Indiana legislators may be missing out on a lucrative business venture for the state. The House Utilities and Energy Committee passed SB 251 Friday, which would impose a voluntary goal to produce 10 percent of the state’s electricity using renewable energy sources by 2025. But banks and other financiers are more likely to invest in states with mandatory standards, say environmental execs. Admirable effort, but Indiana’s got a long way to go in shrugging off its wasteful reputation.

McKINNEY LEGACY HONORS IAC

The Indianapolis Art Center has renamed and revamped its annual faculty member of the year award, thanks to an ongoing grant from the estate of Arlene ‘Skip’ McKinney, who passed away last fall, an ardent supporter of the IAC and mother of NUVO publisher Kevin McKinney. With the endowment from McKinney’s estate, an IAC instructor will receive a $20,000 grant to support creative endeavors and a solo exhibit at the IAC when the fellowship year ends. Mrs. McKinney was an IAC class regular and true art enthusiast, and we can think of no better way for her legacy to provide ongoing creative renewal to deserving artists and instructors.

MERIDIAN MAKEOVER

Well, we asked for it. Construction began Monday along Meridian St., a main throughway connecting northside suburbs to downtown. For now, commuters can expect quite the trudge between 38th and 56th streets. Phase two will tackle Kessler Blvd. to 86th in May; the middle portion will have to wait ‘til 2012. Costing the city roughly $12 million, the project will cram an estimated 25,000 vehicles into two lanes every day, down from four. We’ll grin and bear the congestion if it means a smoother ride. And really, we’ve got it easy compared to our neighbors north along U.S. 31, where construction is expected to drag on for the next seven years.

THOUGHT BITE By Andy Jacobs Jr. The Right Wing calls its vicious attack against middle- and low-income families and still more tax cuts for the super rich, “Road to Prosperity.” Translation: Road to the prosperous for campaign contributions.

news // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

news

Marijuana in the United States Legal, illegal and both BY L A U R A MC P H E E L M CPH E E @ N U V O . N E T

ake no mistake — according to the United States government, marijuana is illegal for all purposes in all 50 states, and remains classified as a Schedule I drug, on par with heroin, LSD and Ecstasy under the federal Controlled Substances Act. As recently as 2005, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the federal government’s right to ban the use of cannabis, including for medical use, under the Commerce Clause; and, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, marijuana has no medical use and a high risk of abuse. That said, individual states across the country have long taken their own approach to legalizing weed, many in direct contradiction and/or violation of federal law. As early as the 1970s, states like Alaska, Colorado, and Oregon reduced the penalties for adults found in possession of small amounts

onnuvo.net 8

for personal use. Pennsylvania decriminalized the possession of less than one ounce of weed in 2010, as did California. Fourteen states now treat small amounts (typically one ounce or less) of marijuana possession as a low law enforcement priority or a minor infraction with small fines and no associated prison time or criminal record. Medical use of marijuana is now legal in 15 states, allowing doctors to prescribe and patients to buy and possess pot as treatment for a variety of illnesses and conditions. This year, another six states are considering medical marijuana legislation, including Illinois, Ohio and Pennsylvania. And while the Obama administration has not made any moves to legalize or decriminalize marijuana for any purpose, the U.S. attorney general’s office issued a Department of Justice memorandum in 2009 urging prosecutors and federal agents to consider the state laws concerning medical marijuana use and not prosecute legitimate patients, as it would be “an inefficient use of limited federal resources.” Here in Indiana, possession of 30 grams (a little more than one ounce) or less of marijuana is a misdemeanor punishable by up to one year in jail and a fine of up to $5,000. For possession of more than 30 grams, the penalties range from 6 months to 3 years in prison and fines of up to $10,000. Knowingly visiting a place where drugs are used is also a misdemeanor, punishable by up to six months in jail and a fine of up to $1,000.

/ARTICLES

Manic Panic: Your enviroPANIQuiz for the week by Jim Poyser

news // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

Lawmakers vote to defund Planned Parenthood by Catherine Green

MAP LEGEND States allowing the prescription and use of medical marijuana

Arizona District of Columbia Hawaii Michigan Montana New Jersey New Mexico Rhode Island Vermont Washington

States where small amounts of marijuana for personal use is decriminalized

States allowing medical marijuana and decriminalization of small amounts

Massachusetts Minnesota Mississippi Nebraska New York North Carolina Ohio

Alaska California Colorado Maine Nevada Oregon

States considering medical marijuana legislation in 2011: Illinois, Massachusetts, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania

City announces 30+ miles of new bike lanes by Catherine Green Redistricting proposals spark public debate by Megan Banta

Source: npr.org, norml.org, medicalmarijuana.procon.org

Hyatt back under fire by Keelee Hurlburt Budget moves out of Senate committee by Megan Banta

/SLIDESHOW

Komen Race for the Cure by Lora Olive

The first ever Indiana Cannabis Awards were handed out on Tuesday, April 19, at the Vogue. Hosted and Organized by ReLegalize Indiana, the event recognized individuals and companies throughout Indiana rallying in support of our favorite herb. Franklin Award: Councilor Ed Categories included lifetime achievement, profesColeman sional endeavors, media, corporate, music and comThis former Republican left munity service awards. Though no solid gold bong behind his right-wing roots to trophies were handed out, the evening’s winners join the Libertarian Party, the were highly praised for their work in marijuana most vocal political advocates reform and legalization. NUVO was proud to sponof marijuana reform. Running sor the 2011 awards and you can find photos on a platform of personal from the event on www.nuvo.net after noon choice and liberty, Coleman was on Wednesday, April 20. Here are some of elected to City-County Council in those to receive the highest of praise 2007, where he represents District at last night’s event: #24. Coleman is one of the highestranking Libertarian officials in the United States.

Lincoln Award: Rep. Tom Knollman Rep. Tom Knollman (R-Liberty) represents Indiana district #55. Though marijuana reform goes against his fellow conservatives, Knollman is pushing for medical marijuana for personal reasons. As an individual with multiple sclerosis, he feels that medical marijuana is a safe, natural and cost-friendly way to help mitigate his condition. Jefferson Award: Sen. Karen Tallian Sen. Karen Tallian (D-Portage) has taken the issue of marijuana reform to a new level, proposing a bill in the Indiana Senate that required a re-evaluation of the state’s criminal law and sentencing policy regarding whether or not marijuana should continue to be illegal. The bill passed with a 28-21 vote in March. The bill will not legalize marijuana—it only commissions a study committee aimed to critically analyze money and resources the state allocates to prosecuting marijuana-related crimes.

Activism: Joh Padgett As executive director of ReLegalize Indiana, Joh Padgett could be considered the poster boy of marijuana reform in Indiana. Padgett has been a community and political activist for over two decades, with his involvement including congressional, state and local political campaigns. Padgett works to raise awareness about cannabis reform in other states, and what problems and obstacles could also occur in Indiana. Joh is the owner of Layman Media, a multimedia production and internet consulting company. Education: Neal Smith Indiana Hemp Historian Neal Smith makes rounds of the state to educate Hoosiers about the history of hemp. He calls his seminar Indiana Hemp History 101, and he has been asked by The Young Americans For Liberty at both Indiana University and Purdue University to present his seminar. Smith has also made his voice public when it comes to hemp-based fuel and the oil industry’s hesitance to utilize the natural

cover story // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

and abundant hemp product. With his history seminar and foretelling media pieces, Smith is educating citizens about both the past and future of marijuana. Law: Steve Dillon Steve Dillon specializes in criminal defense and constitutional law while in the courtroom, but it is his work in marijuana legal reform that earned him the award. As a graduate of Indiana University School of Law, Dillon is heavily involved in the political aspect of marijuana advocacy. He is a chair person for NORML, a not-for-profit public-interest group that lobbies for legislation in favor of responsible marijuana smokers. He is an active libertarian and has ran for several offices under that party, including secretary of state, governor and senator. Medicine: Dr. Clark Brittain Dr. Clark Brittain is a Bloomington-based medical professional specializing in total healthcare for women. However, it is his press attention that got him noticed by the 4/20-friendly community. He is a crusader for medical utility of marijuana, having experienced firsthand patients that severely need the drug. He has authored scholarly articles about his mission for marijuana reform, making him a public enemy for anti-marijuana individuals and a public hero for their counterparts. Dr. Brittain’s arguments are backed by scientific data, demographic studies and personal experience, making his voice a strong one in this debate. Lifetime Achievement: Dr. Louis Lemberger Having served over a decade as director of clinical pharmacology of the Eli Lilly Laboratory for Clinical Research, Lemberger focused on actions and roles

of biogenic amines in the treatment of psychological and neurological diseases. He was the first to administer Nabilone, a cannabinoid drug, to counteract the side effects of chemotherapy. As a cannabinoid, Nabilone has traces of cannabis, making it a working example of medical marijuana. Thanks to Dr. Lemberger, medical marijuana has proven to be an effective treatment.

Tesla Award (radio/podcasting): Time 4 Hemp with Casper Leitch Every weekday at noon, Casper Leitch takes time to discuss benefits and uses of marijuana, giving a voice to marijuana users. His podcast, called “Time 4 Hemp,” is sponsored by Marijuana Dispensaries, Medical Cannabis, The West Coast Leaf and other organizations looking to give marijuana a legal place in society. He often has guests join him for the podcast, including Willie Nelson. “Time 4 Hemp” has spurred a strong web presence, offering links like The Weed Tracker (where and how to secure medical cannabis) and Hemp Farming (information about, what else, hemp farming). Time4hemp.com. Pyle Award (journalism): David Hoppe, NUVO David Hoppe is a multi-talented writer who contributes to NUVO both as a columnist and an editor. His March 2 column “Say Yes To Pot” praised Senate Bill 192, saying that Sen. Karen Tallian’s (D-Portage) efforts to study state law on marijuana was “encouraging to anyone who has ever wondered at the bizarre, utterly irrational approach our governments have chosen when it comes to pot.” Hoppe notes that today, over seventy years after the war on

marijuana began, the government still spends large amounts of energy and money on this minor crime that fuels prison overcrowding, at a time when the government’s energy could be spent elsewhere. www. nuvo.net Social Networking: CJ Parker CJ Parker is a bio-medical marijuana advocate and a hemp advocate, as stated on her Twitter page where Parker regularly shares world news regarding marijuana reform and progress. With new media taking over the world, CJ’s utilization of social networking to spread the word about marijuana reform is nothing short of ingenious. CJ also hosts ReLegalize Indiana’s radio show, The Seedling, with fellow ReLegalize Indiana members Joh Padgett and Bill Levin. CJ has personally experienced relief from medical cannabis, having suffered multiple psychiatric conditions following her stint in the Gulf War. @HempCJNews on Twitter.

Album of the Year: Rich Hardesty, Culturally Insane Rich Hardesty brings the Caribbean to the Midwest with his latest album, Culturally Insane. Hardesty’s clean-cut suburban look would lead one to believe he or she was about to endure another Jason Mraz, but that V-neck sweater is misleading. Featuring songs like “All My Friends Are Stoners” and “Back To Jamaica Mon,” Culturally Insane is the perfect background music for a laidback chill session. Culturally Insane is Hardesty’s third album, following his selftitled debut and Ganja Plantation, both released in 2005. RichHardesty.com. Song of the Year: The Gitmos “I Wanna Grow Weed” The Gitmos are a politically charged rockand-roll band that cover hot-button issues, ranging from gun control to Hugo Chavez. Their song, “I Wanna Grow Weed,” is about growing in your own backyard, but also delves into a deeper issue: how weed can benefit our government and society. The banjo picking in the background is reminiscent of front porch mountain music, but The Gitmos blend it perfectly with a hardcore rock sound. theGitmos.com. Solo Performer of the Year: Andy Salge Indianapolis native Andy Salge is a mixture of something you might hear at a cabana, dive bar and coffee house. That is to say, he does not conform to a particular genre. All of his songs are different, from the funky “People Power,” to the folksy “Outside Looking In.” Though most of his tracks are lengthy (due to instrumental breaks), his music is upbeat and easy to listen to. What makes Salge worthy of this award, though, are his lyrics, steeped in political and social commentary, philosophy and ideology. www.facebook.com/andy.salge. Musician Activist of the Year: U.S. Hemp/Arlin Troutt Tennessee native and former Hoosier Arlin Troutt has been on a musical rollercoaster since his start in a gospel quartet at the age of six. It wasn’t until his move to Arizona in the 1960s that Troutt got swept up in the political issues surrounding the Vietnam War and, subsequently, drug use. Troutt’s music is his vessel for communicating his

political and social views. The song themselves are elevator-esque in sound: relaxing and easy to dance to. ArlinTroutt.com.

Hemp is Indiana Award: Foods Alive Foods Alive is known for its organic, vegan, kosher and gluten-free products. Their first and most popular item is the raw flax cracker, which is available in eight different flavors. It is the hemp oil salad dressing that earned Foods Alive the Hemp is Indiana Award, specifically the Sweet & Sassy variety. The hempseed found in the dressing contains over 90 percent unsaturated fats, including the six essential fatty acids. It is raw, gluten free, soy free, nut free and dairy free, and has been certified organic by Indiana Certified Organic, kosher by Chicago Rabbinical Council and vegan by Vegan Action. Foodsalive.com. HEMPTech Award: FlexForm Technologies, Inc. FlexForm Technologies, Inc., could be the key to Elkhart, Ind.’s revitalization, thanks to its revolutionary technology in nonwoven natural fiber composites. Making a name for itself in the automobile and office panels industries, FlexForm’s allnatural products are strong, lightweight, flexible, moldable and a huge step forward in the union of manmade and organic. Although FlexForm is boosting its hometown of Elkhart, the advancements it has made is forwarding the entire state in natural product technology. Flexformtech.com. Consumer Product of the Year: Zephyr Ion Vaporizer Although marketed as an aromatherapy tool, the Zephyr Ion Vaporizer is a smoker’s best friend. Its digital display and stainless steel structure create a sleek outward appearance, but it’s the new age technology that makes this worthy of an Indiana Cannabis Award. It’s quiet, fast (2-3 minutes prep time), has digital temperature and airflow control, can be hooked up to your laptop if an outlet is unavailable, supports two valves—meaning multiple bags can be filled back to back—and comes with a whole slew of goodies, including basket seal washers, replacement bags, replacement screens and extra air filters. zephyrvaporizers.com. 20 Past 4 and More The go-to shopping destination for anyone looking to dance with Mary Jane, 20 Past 4 and More sells myriad items designed to make your toking experience unforgettable… or completely forgettable, depending on your stuff. Cigars, rolling papers, incense, water pipes and porn are all sold at 20 Past 4, but guaranteed to catch your eye are the bongs that look straight out of a Dr. Seuss book (“Green Leaves and Hash”). 6513 N. College Ave. Cosmic Harvey’s This head shop in Kokomo is all about the cannabis counterculture. Featuring new-age herbs, art, magazines, music and clothing, Cosmic Harvey’s is the kind of place you would expect to find in a college town — Kokomo’s biggest tourism attraction is a covered bridge, so it is a much-needed commodity. cosmicharveys.com.

PHOTO BY LAURA MCPHEE

Magic Bus

Dragon Slayer This Muncie haven for tattoos and piercing offers the gamut of body modification. Whether you want some tame ink of your name in Chinese or studs up and down your back, Dragon Slayer is at your service. The only downside is that you don’t actually get to slay any dragons — but no one’s stopping you from getting a tat commemorating the fantasy conquest. dstattoo.net. High On The Hill Chillums, blunt wraps, blunt splinters, vaporizers, hoodies, bajas, incense, gravity pipes, books, water pipes, books, lungfriendly ErboPipes, books and more books — no wonder High On the Hill is considered the one-stop hippie shop. Tie-dyed merchandise and counterculture bumper stickers are the preferred décor, complete with peace signs and rainbows. High On The Hill seems to shout a clear message: chill out — everything’s cool. 3729 W. 16th Street. Karma Potheads love to talk about two things: the state of political and cultural affairs, and music. If they aren’t attempting acoustic versions of Stevie Ray Vaughan or Jimi

Hendrix, they’re lamenting the downfall of the music industry and how come no one can jam like the legends anymore, huh? Karma peddles albums, posters, t-shirts, tickets and paraphernalia to help satiate their hunger for quality music. Karmarecords.net. The Magic Bus The Magic Bus may lack Ms. Frizzle, but it does have almost everything a ganja-loid could desire. From Frisbee golf discs to baby hats made out of organically grown cotton, the store is kind of like the stoners’ embassy. Its Broad Ripple location has been instrumental in building the Village’s boho identity. 1073 Broad Ripple Ave. Ultra Oil for Pets Comprising a healthy ratio of hempseed, fish, grapeseed and flaxseed oils, this pet food additive gives your furry comrade some of the most essential nutrients. It’s gluten-free, herbicide- and pesticide-free and rich in omega fatty acids, giving your pet a balanced and healthy diet. And unlike the healthy foods you feed your kids, Ultra Oil for Pets actually tastes good (or so we’ve heard). Ultraoilforpets.com.

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ou don’t have to tell us that nothing compares to a relaxing night at home, smoking a bowl, eating pizza, watching tv, getting a little sumpin’ sumpin’ from the boy/girl of your choice and then falling asleep pretty much wherever the smoking, eating, watching and/ or boning took place. We wrote that playbook, Rookie. But one can’t stay indoors all year-round, and now that winter has gone and spring is beckoning us back outdoors, we’ve started thinking about favorite places around Indy to enjoy while high, other than our own humble abodes and the NUVO office. The research was grueling, but we somehow managed to tour the city from one end to the other looking for the best locations to enjoy fully lit. From high art to hog calling, with just about every other aspect of Hoosier life in-between, Indy abounds with the buzz-worthy. After extensive debate, mostly because we kept forgetting to write down our choices and then we’d have to start all over again, we were able to settle on the following list of ten. Of course, smoking marijuana is illegal in Indianapolis, as it is throughout the state of Indiana. Therefore, keep in mind that one of the worst places to visit while high is County Jail. Not as bad as Chuck E. Cheese, but horrible and costly nonetheless.

Want to slip into another world without leaving Center Township? Pass through the gates of Crown Hill Cemetery (www.crownhill.org) just off 38th Street and find yourself transported, with or without chemical enhancement, to one of the most scenic and historic sites within city limits. This is the final

resting place of the city’s most famous and infamous residents; browse the headstones and names like Dillinger, Tarkington, Harrison, Kittle, Irsay, Ayres and Vonnegut should all sound familiar. ‘Crown Hill’ itself is the highest point in the city and location of poet James Whitcomb Riley’s grave monument. You don’t have to dig on the dead to enjoy it here, however. The flora and fauna of the nearly 600-acre grounds provide a wonderful escape from the city with more than 150 native plant species and hundreds of white-tailed deer very much alive and kicking within this urban retreat. Take a picnic, download a map of famous graves and spend the day enjoying the circle of life.

Oh, sure. You’ll find runners, joggers, cyclists and other sporty types crowding White River State Park’s Downtown Canal Walk at times (www.discovercanal.com). But luckily the path is wide enough for all, even those cruising at a little slower pace and who may or may not have their heads in the clouds. Wander the 3-mile loop, take in the public art and urban architecture, stumble upon a concert at the History Center or festival in Military Park, cross bridges, throw a penny in a fountain, admire the extensive landscaping or simply sit on a bench and contemplate existentialism. Want something funkier? Rent a Segway. More romantic? Take to the water in a gondola, just like it was Venice. Canal Walk is one of the most beautiful places to admire the city, day or night, particularly when you’re feeling all warm and fuzzy with the help of herbal enhancements.

cover story // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

Everyone knows that video games and weed go together like beans and weenies, so it just makes sense to pay homage while high to America’s favorite pastime with costumes, contests, exhibits, parties and lots of product demos at GenCon - the world’s largest gaming convention. For one weekend each summer (this year it’s Aug. 4-7) the streets of downtown Indy are flooded with gamers, geeks and ganja lovers who can’t get enough of holding a joystick. Even if you don’t play the games yourself, this is still one of the best places to be in Indy when you’re high. Head downtown, find outdoor seating at a downtown restaurant and enjoy the parade of vampires, vixens, wizards and wookies flooding the streets as many of the 30k costumed-GenCon attendees go all out in the role-playing department. Seriously fun. Seriously trippy.

While we’ve got some great stoner recommendations on page 25 for watching movies at home, sometimes nothing beats an overwhelming cinematic experience to truly rock your buzz. Lucky for all of us, the city now boasts several IMAX 3D theaters where bigger and multi-dimensional is always better (plus, it’s really funny to see your friends in those stupid glasses). For the more Discovery Channel type of IMAX 3D, the Indiana State Museum at White River State Park (650 W. Washington Street) has screenings seven days a week, final showing at 7:15 on Wednesday-Sunday. A little further south, the AMC Showplace 17 (4325 S. Meridian Street) also has an IMAX 3D screen. Here you’ll find Hollywood blockbusters, like

the forthcoming Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, May 20, and Fast Five on April 29.

After a certain age (say 21), the Indiana State Fair may not hold the same allure for you that it once did (say when you were six), or the allure it will again (say when you are 60). For those in-between years, nothing makes the heat, humidity and hundreds of thousands of other Hoosiers more bearable than burning a blunt before you go. With hours worth of barn meandering, tractor admiring, amusement ride sharing and fried food indulging, it’s the perfect way to spend a blissful afternoon or evening. Make time to take in the rooster crowing contest, browse award-winning eggplants, marvel at men with more tattoos than teeth operating the Midway rides, and by all means – bring enough money to win your girl one of those roach clips with obligatory feathers. This year the fair runs from Aug. 5-21 and elephant ears, corn on the cob, tenderloin sandwiches and deep-fried Twinkies should be available throughout.

Depending on your level of paranoia and how well you handle your high, one of the most enjoyable afternoons imaginable in our fair city is one spent wandering the galleries of the IMA in an altered state of mind. If you’re feeling mellow and have the urge to lose yourself in intricate brushwork, mythology, mania and masterpieces, head on over to 4000 W. Michigan Road. The Contemporary Collections of the IMA are particularly refreshing and rewarding, though we’ve also been known

6281 N. College Ave.

This New York City based comedian has opened for Lewis Black, Colin Quinn, Brian Regan, Kevin James and Dave Chappelle. Julian McCullough started doing comedy as a young child to avoid getting beat up for being the new kid every year. Julian was a new and lonely student in Philadelphia, Portland, Oakland, San Francisco, Pittsﬁeld, MA, New Jersey and Sonoma. He would now like to be invited to your lunch table.

Nick Grifﬁn 4/27-4/30

Ryan Stout 5/4-5/7

247 S. Meridian St.

Scott has been seen on NBC and FOX-TV, plus heard on such radio shows like FOX Sports, ESPN, and the Bob and Tom Show. Many of his bits have been featured for the past decade on the XM Satellite radio comedy channel. For the past 8 seasons he has written the Frank’s Picks comedy sketches for the NFL on FOX pregame show. Scott has performed in 37 states at many of the top clubs in the country. His on the road blog, Adventures in Comedy Fly-Over Country is a highly acclaimed behind the scenes look at the life of a touring standup comedian.

Kristin Key 4/27-4/30

Brian Dunkleman 5/4-5/7

FILE PHOTO

to stand for prolonged periods in front of the Modigliani and Matisse that take up a favorite corner of the European Collection. If the quiet and the guards freak you out, head outdoors and wander the amazing 100 Acres of the Virginia B. Fairbanks Art and Nature Park. Here you’ll discover newly installed art among one of the city’s oldest pockets of urban wilderness.

While marijuana has been around for millennia, it enters the American cultural narrative in the jazz clubs of New Orleans just a little over 100 years ago. According to historian Ernest Abel, “Unlike booze, which dulled and incapacitated, marijuana enabled [jazz] musicians whose job required them to play long into the night to forget their exhaustion. Moreover, the drug seemed to make their music sound more imaginative and unique, at least to those who played and listened while under its sensorial influence.” For those who’d like to experience the historical sensorial influence of jazz while enjoying the historical sensorial influence of being high, head either to the Chatterbox downtown (435 Massachusetts Ave.) or Jazz Kitchen in Midtown (5377 N. College Ave.). While Chatterbox is the more traditional jazz venue, Jazz Kitchen’s more experimental and contemporary line-up is usually buzzworthy as well. Make your experience even more authentic with a little Creole cuisine from Yats - with convenient locations near both the jazz venues on Massachusetts and College Avenues.

NUVO readers vote the Mousetrap (5565 N. Keystone Ave.) best hangout for hippies nearly every year, and, let’s face it – ‘hippy’ is really just a euphemism for pot-smoker. With a good dose of live music nights, mostly local, as well as pool tables, big screens, darts and a dance floor that occasionally gets pretty crowded, the Mousetrap is a favorite hangout of those who smoke for good reason. The locals who frequent the Mousetrap are generally a mellow, laidback bunch, as is the overall vibe. Plus they

host cool events like tonight’s 4.20 party featuring 20 performers on two stages. See our Go & Do picks on page 14 for more on the event, but drop by the Mousetrap anytime you’re feeling groovy.

It can often be a disastrous idea to head to the grocery store when stoned, particularly when you are in pursuit of a particular item or trying to stick to a strict budget. If time is not an issue, however, and you’re feeling daring in the taste bud department, then take an epicurean adventure surprisingly close to home and browse the aisles of Saraga International Grocery on Lafayette Road (www.saragafood.com). For more than five years, this locally-owned store with the name that means ‘life’ in Korean has been introducing new tastes to Indy natives and providing a bit of home to our newest neighbors with imported foods from around the globe including Africa, China, India, the Middle East and Caribbean. Open your mind and your mouth to all the possibilities Saraga has to offer.

Going to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum high can be tricky and, generally speaking, we don’t recommend it. While there’s a chance you can indulge your inner eight-year old and enjoy the museum with the aid of weed, there’s an equal chance all of those screaming, snot-nosed and seriously under-parented kids will get on your nerves within the first five minutes and completely wreck your high. What we do recommend, however, is bypassing the bulk of the museum and settling with your buzz into the SpaceQuest Planetarium (www.childrensmuseum.org/planetarium), where you can “peer deep into space through the eyes of the orbiting Hubble Space Telescope and travel back billions of years in time to witness the birth of the universe; witness the formation of galaxies and explore some of the most wondrous nebulae and astronomical structures yet discovered.” Dude. You had us at ‘wondrous nebulae.’ 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // cover story

go&do

For comprehensive event listings, go to www.nuvo.net/calendar

do or die

Only have time to do one thing all week? This is it.

Celebrate 4.20 FREE

Work by J. Ivcevich.

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20 STARTS

WEDNESDAY

FREE

VISUAL ART

J. Ivcevich at Garvey | Simon PHOTO BY MARIAH WHITE

Earth Day at White River State Park is a perfect day to pick up your very own tree.

SATURDAY

FREE

FESTIVAL

Earth Day at WRSP

Live green and prosper. Earth Day Indiana, a free outdoor festival at the White River State Park , is scheduled to take place from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday, April 23. This year’s event boasts more than 140 environmental and conservation exhibits along with

local musicians, food, plus activity stations for kids where they can build bird feeders and other projects. Want to be a part of the festival? The park is looking for 130 volunteers to help with the Earth Day Festival. For more information call 767-3672 or visit www.earthdayindiana.org. Stop by NUVO’s booth to pick up our Green Guide and to chat us up. White River State Park is located at 801 W. Washington St.

Dude, it’s 4.20. Where are you going to be? Are you going to chill at a friends place? Maybe go to White Castle? How about you head on over to The Mousetrap for IndyMojo’s 4.20 Tent Party for good vibes and great music. With two different stages, one inside and the other outside, the 20 performances are sure to be a sight on this crazy evening. And all for just a $5 cover charge. Unfortunately, kiddos, it’s a 21+ event. (Figures…) It all goes down at The Mousetrap (5565 N. Keystone Ave.) between 3 p.m. and 3 a.m. on, what other than, 4.20. Plus, it’s sponsored by NUVO, and you know we don’t put on bad events. For more information visit: indymojo.com.

Artist J. Ivcevich was born in Ohio but raised in Indianapolis, and his Hoosier upbringing is a prominent feature in his work. The artist describes his work as a ‘cultural bricolage’ and incorporates objects like kitschy toys, bicycles and urinals into his pieces. Ivcevich’s current exhibit, J. Ivcevich: Sampling, features works he has crafted over the past decade, allowing viewers to see the evolution of his style and the signature techniques that have stayed constant. Ivcevich’s exhibit will stay at the Art Access through May 31. Garvey | Simon Art Access is located at 27 E. Main St., Carmel. For more information, call 844-7278 or visit www. gsartaccess.com.

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FREE

WEDNESDAY

LECTURE

You Can’t Bring That Bike in Here

FREE

More and more attention is being focused on biking as Indy strives to become a more bicycle-friendly city. If you’re still in the dark about the joys of pedaling around town, check out comedian Tom Snyders, a bicycling enthusiast who recently biked from Cancun, Mexico to Ushuaia, Argentina. Snyders will discuss his 8,219-mile adventure as part of the Central Indiana Bicycling Association Lecture Series. You Can’t Bring That Bike in Here is a free event and will be held at the Central Library’s Clowes Auditorium from 7 to 9 p.m. The Indianapolis Central Library is located at 40 E. St. Clair St. For more information, call 275-4100 or visit www.imcpl.org.

onnuvo.net 14

WEDNESDAY

PARTY

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Central Library

WEDNESDAY

OPEN HOUSE

1,000 Voices for Public Libraries

Our libraries need some loving. So go out tonight and show our Indy libraries just how much you love them at the Sustainable Library Citizens SUBMITTED PHOTO

Tom Snyders loves to ignore the signs.

/ARTICLES

Your A&E best best, April 20- 27 by Jim Poyser Demetri Martin interview (long version) By Marc Allan

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Coalition’s 1,000 Voices for Public Libraries, because, yes, they have offi-

Review of “The Conspirator” by Ed Johnson-Ott A tale of two operas by Scott Shoger

/SLIDESHOWS

cially reached over 1,000 official coalition members. The coalition is dedicated to keeping our libraries alive and exploring ways to improve them. Bring the family, write letters to your city-county councilors and enjoy some snacks as you meet others from your voting district at the open house-esque event. Save the libraries April 20 at 6:30 p.m. at 37 Place Community Center , 2605 E. 25th St. For more information and to RSVP, call 395-4430 or visit myindylibrary.org.

Indiana Artisan Marketplace by Mark Lee Naptown Roller Girls by Lora Olive

Cutters win 5th consecutive Little 5 by Ted Somerville

GO&DO

PHOTO BY ROGER MASTROIANNI

Rob Johansen stars in The 39 Steps.

STARTS WEDNESDAY

THEATER

Hitchcock’s ‘The 39 Steps’ at the IRT A Hitchcock masterpiece that has a dash of Monty Python? Well, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition. The 39 Steps is a Tony Award-winning farce based loosely off the 1935 film by Hitchcock. Four actors will play multiple characters, contend with crazy special effects and pay their respects to Hitchcock’s iconic movie moments while delivering a faithful, if tonguein-cheek, rendering of the original movie. The fun starts April 20 at 6:30 p.m. at the Indiana Repertory Theatre , 140 W. Washington St. The show runs until May 14, with performances at various times. Tickets range from $32 to $55 depending on the night. For more information and tickets, call 635-5252 or visit www.irtlive.com.

21, 23 SPORTS

THURSDAY & SATURDAY

Indiana Pacers v. Chicago Bulls

PHOTO COURTESY OF PACERS

Get your foam fingers ready. The Pacers will face off against the Bulls on Thursday night in their third game in the NBA playoffs. The rivals will tipoff at 7 p.m. at Conseco Fieldhouse, battling to gain the upper hand in the best out of seven playoff system. If you can’t make it to the actual event, have no fear, NBATV will broadcast the game so you can watch from the comfort of your own living room. The Pacers’ will defend their home court against the Bulls on Saturday night as well. Conseco Fieldhouse is located at 125 S. Pennsylvania St. Tickets for the games range from $15 - $250. For more information call 9172500 or visit www.nba.com/pacers/.

Pacers guard T.J. Ford

23, 24

THEATER

SATURDAY, SUNDAY

IndyFringe: The Absinthe Minded Professors

Mix the Victorian age and science fiction? Can’t go wrong. IndyFringe is presenting The Absinthe Minded Professors this weekend, known for their “steampunk” tales, mixing 19th century literature and history with bizarre future experiences. Expect gory prequels to The Nutcracker and naughty automated Jane Austen. How disturbing. We’re intrigued. Joshua Safford spins bizarre Victorian fantasies while Michi SUBMITTED PHOTO Regier murders the classics on violin. Shows are The Absinthe Minded Professors April 23 at 7:30 p.m. and April 24 at 4:30 p.m. at the IndyFringe Theatre, 719 E. St. Clair St. Tickets prices vary. For more information and tickets, call 721-9458 or visit www.indyfringe.org. 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // go&do

GO&DO 25-30 SPORTS

MONDAY-SATURDAY

Golden Gloves Boxing Tournament

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ONGOING

REGISTRATION

IRC’s 2011 Conference

In the six-week long Golden Gloves tournament, boxers will battle it out for a spot to compete on their home turf in the national Gloves tournament which will be held in Indianapolis this year. Eleven Open Division bouts highlight the second night of action, including a fight between Ray Lucies and Sam Enneking. The tournament will be held at the Indianapolis Convention Center , 100 S. Capitol Ave. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the first bout is scheduled for 7:30 p.m. Tickets range from $12 to $25. Tournament runs until Saturday, all bouts throughout the week are scheduled around 6 or 7 p.m. For more information call 262-3400 or visit www.goldengloves2011.org.

Indiana Recycling Coalition ’s 2011 conference is the premiere waste reduction and recycling event of the year, featuring exhibitors from around the country involved in every aspect of waste reduction, reuse, recycling and composting. While the actual conference doesn’t begin until May 10, registration is now open and accepting reservations. No time like the present, right? The 2011 IRC Conference will take place at the Hilton North, 8181 N. Shadeland Ave., Indianapolis. For more information call 6325915 or visit www.indianarecycling.org.

go&do // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

TUESDAY

MUSIC

NPR’s ‘From the Top’ at the Palladium

Rock on, Palladium, your events keep getting better and better. Next week, the center is bringing From the Top , the award-winning NPR program with host Christopher O’Riley that showcases our country’s best young musicians. Each week, it shares with millions of listeners the stories of these pre-collegiate music makers. The program will be broadcast from the Palladium with a live audience. Michael Feinstein is even showing up for a guest appearance. The show records April 26 at 7 p.m. at the Palladium at the Center for the Performing Arts. Tickets range from $15 to $80. For more information and tickets, call 843-3800 or visit www.thecenterfortheperformingarts.org.

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Host Christopher O’Riley

PHOTO BY WENDY LYNCH

A&E FEATURE Demetri Martin: Baffled by oddities

then Mitch got pretty famous in the comedy world. Then suddenly everybody said, “Oh, you’re like Mitch Hedberg.” I said, “Who’s Mitch Hedberg?” I saw Mitch and of course I saw some similarity. That was weird for me. I wasn’t saying I was some original thing, but I was thinking, I was influenced by Steven Wright. People were telling me about Mitch Hedberg and they had never heard of Steven Wright. It’s interesting to see what people know. I think Mitch Hedberg was a great comedian, but if I had an influence, it’s really Steven Wright.

Comic to perform at the Egyptian Room

Later, I discovered Newhart. I got the DVD of his first series. He was awesome. The one time I got to do standup on Letterman, Bob Newhart was the other guest. He stayed and watched my set, and that was a total thrill. He stuck around after my set and said, “Good job.”

BY M A RC D. A L L A N M A L L A N @N U VO . N E T

emetri Martin is smart. Graduated from Yale. Two years of New York University Law School before dropping out to pursue comedy. And Demetri Martin’s comedy is smart. “I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.” “Every fight is a food fight if you’re a cannibal.” “Life. I just don’t see this ending well.” And Demetri Martin’s career is smart. Starring in the movie Taking Woodstock. Writing in The New York Times Magazine. Creating the highly creative Comedy Central show Important Things With Demetri Martin. Authoring a new book, This is a Book. But during a phone conversation to promote what he’s fairly sure is his Indianapolis debut, Martin, 37, seems to cringe when the word “smart” comes up. NUVO: Your comedy persona is a guy who appears to be baffled and intrigued by the oddities of life. How close is that to who you really are? MARTIN: That is part of who I really am. After doing it for – this summer will be 14 years – I’m pretty close to just being myself. That’s not the only part of who I am as a person, but it seems like the best part to use in my comedy. I walk around and daydream a lot. I like to look at things and write down jokes and little ideas, and then I try those out when I get a chance to be in front of people. NUVO: How long did it take you to figure out that was going to be the center of your comedy? MARTIN: I guess it’s always evolving and changing slightly, but the very first night I did standup, I think I did 12 jokes – 12 oneliners. So when I first got into standup, it was mostly as a joke teller. Then over the years I’ve done some one-man shows where I’d tell stories that are personal and show drawings and play music. Then my standup evolved to feature some of those things too. When I started, I got to do five minutes onstage. Maybe six minutes, maybe 10. And now I get to do sometimes 90 minutes. So that changes what you get to do, how much you might get to improvise. If the larger standup show I do is some kind of an organism, the cells are still going to be jokes, one-liners. And in that sense, I’m probably right where I started. NUVO: Do you recall the jokes you told your first time onstage? MARTIN: I taped it – it’s on a cassette – but I can’t find it. I remember the day after that,

NUVO: That’s the comedy seal of approval – Letterman and Newhart together. MARTIN: That’s the stuff you would never expect. If there’s somebody you like and they like your work, it’s such a nice bonus. NUVO: On one of your YouTube clips, someone left the comment, “I want to make love to his intellect.” So, two questions: Do you like being seen as an intellectual comedian, and how long has it been since your intellect got some? MARTIN: I wonder if that was a guy or a girl. (laughs)

Demetri Martin performs at the Egyptian Room on Thursday, April 21 at 8 p.m.

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If I can find enough people who overlap with my sensibility, then I guess I have a job.

listening to it a bunch of times. I know it was 12 jokes because six of them worked. NUVO: That’s not bad for the first time. MARTIN: I was psyched. And then the second night I did the same 12 jokes and none of them worked. That was my first lesson in what can happen. According to the people last night, those were funny. Oh. There are a lot of variables that go into this thing. NUVO: When I watch you, I feel almost like you’re a comedy teacher. You stand up there and say, “This is funny.” Do you ever think of yourself that way? MARTIN: I always think of it as connecting with another group of people. The idea of finding something funny, what’s interesting about that to me is, when somebody says, “That’s funny” or “That’s not funny,” they’re right. If they’re being honest about it, you can’t really argue with it. It’s just very subjective and personal. What’s interesting is, if you’re not trying to present comedy to other people or sell it, then if you say, “That’s funny,” that seems like a very objective thing you’re saying. It’s quantified. But what you’re really saying is, “That’s funny to me.”

NUVO: You’re part of a comedy lineage that would include Steven Wright, Mitch Hedberg and to some extent Bob Newhart. How much did you pay attention to those guys when you were growing up? MARTIN: For me, it was Gary Larson, Peter Sellers, Bill Cosby, Steven Wright. When I look back on my childhood in suburban New Jersey, those were my influences. My dad liked Bill Cosby a lot; Bill Cosby was on HBO a lot, and we had HBO when I was a kid. I saw Steven Wright – probably on HBO. And when I’d go to the mall, I’d go to the bookstore there. B. Dalton was our bookstore and I’d look for those Gary Larson books and be flipping through The Far Side. That was the first thing I could read that made me actually laugh. I liked Cheers and some of those sitcoms from the ‘80s. It was much later that I discovered Woody Allen. I was already doing standup. I had never seen a Woody Allen movie and I didn’t know he was a comedian before he was a director. He was so great. So anecdotal, but so absurd and had some great one-liners in his comedy. I had been doing standup for a while – I had never heard of Mitch Hedberg – and

When I started, after I would do my set – sometimes I would do well, sometimes I would not do well – people would come up and say, “We thought you were really funny. You’re really smart. We got your jokes.” And I always felt like, “Oh, I’m not doing it right.” If people think I’m smart, that’s a compliment, but I always think if people have to know something specific or have special knowledge in order to find my stuff funny, I’m doing it wrong. If they think I’m smart or say I’m smart, that’s certainly a nice compliment. But my goal isn’t to be a smart comedian. I’m just trying to find the most people who find the same stuff funny that I find funny. NUVO: But people do have to think about what you’re saying most of the time. MARTIN: I was thinking about this: Why did I like Gary Larson and Steven Wright when I was a kid? I think part of it was they let me finish the joke. I got to be creative a little bit. If I look at a Far Side cartoon, it may be what’s funny about it is that it’s really imminent. I get to play the next couple of frames in my head and then maybe that’s where the punch line kind of explodes. As opposed to being spoon-fed some joke about nostalgia or a silly voice. That stuff can be funny, but I always gravitated more toward softer sell. See nuvo.net for a longer version of this interview.

DEMETRI MARTIN

Thursday, April 21, 8 p.m. Egyptian Room at Old National Centre Tickets: $32.50-$35 Information: (317) 231-0000

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A&E REVIEWS

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Work by Christopher Stuart (above) and six other artists are on view at Dean Johnson/christopher west presents through April 29.

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Kronos Quartet

BOOKS

61 HUMOROUS & INSPIRING LESSONS I LEARNED FROM BASEBALL t Howard Kellman is the longtime voice of the Indianapolis Indians on radio and television. His book is like his sports reporting — to the point, witty, easy to enjoy. The lessons are based on historical events and personal encounters and observations. Some are gossipy, some pithy revelations for the public good. Some make you say “ouch” but most make you feel good about loving baseball. It’s a quick read first time through. Second and third time you stop to think about the innate wisdom Kellman puts into 2-3 page narratives. Lesson 3, “Being Nice Has Its Benefits” remains my favorite. I’m not sure it would be if I was a die-hard Red Sox fan or a stickler for umpire purity, but for sheer humanity at work, it’s a standout story. Lesson 12: “Encouragement Has Many Faces” has a nice O. Henry twist. Lesson 33 touches on pressure at seminal moments in a game. Lesson 48 warns “Watch Your Words So You Won’t Have to Eat Them.” Lesson 60: “A Baby’s Arrival Can’t Be Predicted” will lighten your day-or maybe your whole life with laughter. At 130 pages the book tucks into a pocket for easy transporting to the ballpark to peruse during long stretches of slow play. –RITA KOHN

MUSIC

KRONOS QUARTET e Carmel Palladium; April 17. Many years ago the Kronos Quartet came here for several visits under several auspices. They consisted of four young firebrand string players who wanted to push the quartet medium into the future. Their performance of Fratres by Arvo Pärt then produced for me a musical epiphany. Sunday night, the group

returned as four middle-aged firebrand string players who continue to move the genre ahead — but with additional trappings. Now world famous for commissioning scores of new scores from every set of players intent on sharing the adventure of exploring new music, the Kronos have added a lighting designer and a sound designer. The former shifted the Palladium stage through a full spectrum of colors during the foursome’s eight offerings, and the latter phased in either bass reinforcement of the viola and cello through two large speakers on either side of the group or added sounds from other instruments — not to mention vocal incantations and other, non-musical sonics. The effect worked well from my second-tier seat on the hall’s left side; everything had just the right resonance. Judging new music is fraught with danger for the critic; posterity almost always proves him/her wrong. Nonetheless I reacted the most favorably to two of the Kronos offerings: Raga Mishra Bhairavi: Alap (1987) by Indian composer Ram Narayan and …hold me, neighbor, in this storm… (2007) by Yugoslav composer Aleksandra Vrebalov (b. 1970). In both these works, the consummate artistry, the beautiful bowing and the perfect ensemble blend put these players at the top of the heap in any quartet era they choose to pounce on. — TOM ALDRIDGE

MUSIC

INDIANAPOLIS CHAMBER ORCHESTRA w Indiana History Center; April 16. Last Saturday music director Kirk Trevor led his Indianapolis Chamber Orchestra in his second Masterworks program after his ensemble had earlier-thisseason explored three crossover concerts. With a filled house, the ICO’s featured cellist Joshua Roman might have proved a strong attraction in the opening Haydn Cello Concerto in C. But

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the 27-year-old created a sensation in the following Variations on a Rococo Theme for Cello and Orchestra, Op. 33 by Tchaikovsky. Roman exudes a soft but beautifully controlled tone as well as a complete mastery of the notes. With only a 32-player ensemble, his dynamic level fit perfectly. The Haydn concerto is an early work (1765), lost until its rediscovery some 50 years ago. Though not a great work, this is a well constructed example of the earlier Classical style: three movements, an expressive Adagio and a virtuosic Finale. Our soloist and players got out of it everything that was there with excellent balance and precision. Roman received a standing ovation. The Tchaikovsky Variations (1877) is the composer’s only work for cello and orchestra — a modest sized ensemble for that period. Roman weaved his way through the thick of the entire ensemble, always audible, always adding to the work’s synergy. This time he got a thundering, standing ovation. Trevor ended his program with Schubert’s less-often-performed Symphony No. 6 in C (“The Little”), D. 589. The work is almost dominated by the two flutes, with principal flutist Anne Reynolds and her colleague Susanne Farley doing real yeoman’s work throughout the four movements. A fine, well-meshed performance, but not great Schubert. —TOM ALDRIDGE

MUSIC

QUATUOR EBÈNE e Ensemble Music International Chamber Series, Indiana History Center, April 13. Luminous in execution of the music and in their stage presence, Pierre Colombet (first violin), Gabriel Le Magadure (second violin), Mathieu Herzog (viola) and Raphaël Merlin (cello) left the audience awestruck. Their interpretations brought new insights to the emotional underpinnings of three classical works usually looked upon as antithetical to what we expect from the composers. Likely as not, most if not all of us were ‘seeing’ and ‘feeling’ not just hearing the intent of the music. A classic is, of course, a transcendent work as personal to the listener now as it was to listeners in previous centuries. Yet the world from which the music originally evolved is different from the present, and this is what the France-based Quatuor Ebène is about. They play as contemporaries to Mozart, Bartok and Mendelssohn, who startled listeners with compositions unlike anything the then Public had grown to expect. We too were startled by this quartet’s emphasis on the usually singerly Mozart’s dissonance, sunny Bartok’s desolateness, subtle Mendelssohn’s

jarring syncopations. They plumbed each composer’s state of mind. It was evident from the start they work independently and together like jazz artists—facial expressions and body language emulating the mood of every measure and side glances communicating cues to drive the story. With Mozart’s Quartet in C Major, K.465 distinctive personalities evolved, with Bartok’s Quartet No. 3 the four players showed they could trumpet as one voice, with Mendelssohn’s Quartet in F Minor, Op. 80 a sundered soul finds its way to unity. An overall richness from the Italian made instruments was particularly laudable with the cello, whose resonance seemed to float above the others. The “surprise” encore was their jazzy rendition of Misirlou from their newest album, Fiction. They record with Virgin Classics and Emi Classics. More at www.quatuorebene.com. —RITA KOHN

VISUAL ART

7 ARTISTS PICK 7 ARTISTS e Dean Johnson Gallery and christopher west presents. The seven artists showing here display a variety of work spanning about as diverse a spectrum of contemporary art and design as you can get — from the functional, sawhorse-supported “Adjunct Drawers, 32” by Christopher Stuart, which might serve you well as a combination coffee table/work desk to Scott Grow’s heavily layered, mixed media abstract painting “Zwangsbeglückung (forced happiness).” Fans of Salman Rushdie’s Midnight’s Children will be happy to check out Jeff Beekman’s “Palimpsest: World Map” that relates to the last, sprawling sentence of this award-winning book. You might be surprised at the effect Beekman achieves here with just ink and a map of the world. Benjamin Sunderlin’s “Bell Home,” on the other hand, uses an array of materials from wood to cast iron to electronics to create a miniature pagoda-roofed structure that opens up automatically to a ringing bell when you push a button on its side. Don’t miss Jill Marie Mason’s installation in the boxlike cwp space with accompanying photographic prints that feature reconstructions of her own past. As you look gaze into Mason’s screenprint-decorated mirror that stretches from the floor to the ceiling (an installation entitled “Looking Back) you might think about how your ideas about your past inform your own identity. Through April 29; www.deanjohnson.com — DAN GROSSMAN

FOOD Dining a la stoned Getting your munchies on

BY H A RRY CH E E S E E DI T O RS @N U V O . N E T I am a chronic restaurant diner. That is to say, I like to smoke a bunch of chronic and go out to eat. I’ll be blunt – these are joints I personally like to visit. Chances are you’ve got your own favorites. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Um, what were we talking about?

Wake and bake

Two of my favorite places to go after a morning bowl (not cereal) are within a stone’s throw of each other: Keystone Deli (2344 E. 53rd St., 255-2288) and The Donut Shop (5527 N. Keystone, 255-3836). At both places you’ll find hearty, traditional American breakfast foods that everyone except cardiologists love. I’d also highly recommend Biscuits (1035 Broad Ripple Ave., 202-0410), where, in addition to the usual breakfast fare, you can order delicious Mexican items guaranteed to satisfy your inner Cheech.

Where everybody knows your name

There are three restaurants where I might be found on any given night. They’re all Mexican places. For me, marijuana, Mexican food and margaritas go together like apple pie, ice cream and grandma. Having friendly folks serving you is crucial to a good stoned dining experience. I’ve made lots of amigos at all of these restaurants over the years. In fact, many of

BEER BUZZ BY RITA KOHN

EVENTS April 21 Sun King Brewery, 3 Kings Pale Ale Tapping, 6-9 p.m., 135 N. College Ave., Food by Fatsammies Ciao Wagon; music by Goliathon; 602-3702, www. sunkingbrewing.com The Ram, tapping Big Horn Maibock, a traditional German Maibock featuring big malt character and Spring Fever, a light ale brewed with Jasmine and Lemon Peel, Fishers, 6:30 p.m.; Downtown Indy, 7 p.m. Tomlinson Tap Room, Indy Third Thursday Brewery Feature; $25; 5:30-8:30 p.m. www.indycm.com, April 22 Upland in Bloomington. Tapping Infinite Wisdom Tripel, a limited-release Belgian-style ale that has a long fermentation period using classic Belgian yeasts. The nose contains banana and citrus notes while a complex fruitiness and light warming sensation are experienced upon tasting. April 23 Great Fermentations, Beginning Brewing Class. 9 a.m. $15.00. Call 317.634.9266, www.greatfermentations.com

the waiters and bartenders call me “pinche viejo loco,” which I’m pretty sure means “respected older gentleman.” Cancun Mexican Restaurant (6473 N. Keystone, 253-5973) is a five-minute drive from my house. Since I never bother to cook at home, I’m there a lot. I suggest trying the delicious Burrito del Mar and the Pink Cadillac margarita. The Pink Cadillac is made with tequila, rum, orange juice and cranberry juice. It is the major source of vitamin C in my diet. My reefer-loving friends and I first buzzed into La Hacienda (6825 Graham Rd., 577-2689) when it opened in 2003. The salsa is fantastic, and even a small bowl of their crazy good chicken soup has the meat of almost an entire chicken in it. Chicken soup is sometimes called “Jewish penicillin,” and I know more than a half-dozen people who swear by the medicinal powers of La Hacienda’s version. I find their Texas margaritas to be similarly curative. Up north you’ll find La Margarita (9435 N. Meridian, 848-1457). This place is a little more high-end, but affordable and with so many delicious menu options that it may take you a long, long time to decide what to get. Try the grouper in chipotle sauce, which comes with a side of nopalitos: yummy cooked cactus. Oh, and have Cruz make you a pitcher of top shelf margaritas. With a name like La Margarita, you know they’re good.

Other awesome joints

There’s a reason they call it “soul food.” The traditional Southern cooking at The Mississippi Belle (2170 E. 54th, 466-0522) is food that will satisfy you, belly and soul. I always get the meat loaf (the best I’ve ever tasted – sorry, Mom), collard greens, yams and fried corn. After eating at the Belle I head straight for my couch and lapse into a delirious food coma. Good Cajun food is like a Mardi Gras party in your mouth. Yats in Broad Ripple (5363 N. College Ave., 253-8817) has been serving

PHOTO BY MARK LEE

Aunt Polly’s delivers, so you don’t have to drive stoned and get all mesmerized by the stoplights and headlights and shit.

up very reasonably priced yet authentically delicious Cajun dishes since 2001. The food and vibe here are great, owner Joe Vuskovich is a real character and the piped-in music is straight up New Orleans jazz, baby.

Drive-by or too stoned to fly

Our fast food restaurant drive-thru system is what makes America the most powerful and envied nation in the world. Give us your stoned, hungry masses, and we shall provide your Wendy’s, your Taco Bell, your Rally’s. And if you’re feeling as hungry as Harold and Kumar, get in your car and make it your quest to get some of those delicious steamy sliders from White Castle. Yes, fast food eaten in the private sanctuary of your own car is a fulfilling Zen-like expe-

Now t h e la rg est b u f f e t se l e c t i o n i n t ow n!

Upland Infinite Wisdom Tripel Release Concert at the Bluebird in Bloomington. Doors open 9 p.m.; music starts 10:30 p.m. $5. Sun King & RecycleForce “Earth Day Indiana” Recycling Drive 1:00-4:00 p.m. at 135 N. College Ave., 602-3702, www.sunkingbrewing.com. Sun King is representative of all the Indiana breweries practicing environmental sustainability.

ON TAP Crown Brewing, Crown Point, Industrial Porter and Java Porter. Barley Island Restaurant & Brewhouse in Broad Ripple, Bloomington Brewing Company guest beers on tap: Ruby Bloom Amber, Double-Hopped Pale, and a limited, rare release of Bourbon Barrel-Aged Old Floyd’s Belgian Dark Strong Ale.

REMEMBERING

Pierre Celis died April 9 at age 86. He was best known for resurrecting the Belgian White ‘style.’0 He was 40 years old, delivered milk for a living and had little brewing experience when he produced his first official batch of Oud Hoegaards Bier in 1966.” [from Stan Hieronymus, Appellation Beer]. Celis White is available in greater Indianapolis through Cavalier Distributing.

If you have an item for Beer Buzz, send an email at least two weeks in advance to beerbuzz@nuvo.net

rience. Just make sure to get extra napkins and try to keep that sauce off your shirt. Let’s say your good friend (or maybe your daughter, Chedda) comes into town from Cali with some medical grade shit. Next thing you know, you’ve lost track of time, you don’t want to drive, but you need food. If you’re down for pizza, call HotBox Pizza (715 Broad Ripple Ave., 257-7500), or, for a more gourmet pie, Some Guys (6235 N. Allisonville Rd., 257-1364). Aunt Polly’s (2959 E. Michigan St., 6323663) will deliver all kinds of comfort food goodies to your door: fried chicken, mashed potatoes, pizza, even deviled eggs. And remember to tip your delivery dude generously. It’s just good karma, man.

HOURS

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Daily Lunch Buffet: 11am-2:30 pm Dinner: Mon-Thurs. 5-10 pm, Fri. 5:00-10 pm Sat. 2:30-10 pm, Sun. 2:30-9:30 pm

10% OFF Carry out or Dine In One Coupon Per Table. Not Valid With Any Other Offer. Only valid on menu order.

HOURS

Sunday & Daily Lunch Buffet: 11:30am-2:30 pm Dinner: Mon-Fri. 5-10 pm, Sat. 2:30-10 pm Sun. 2:30-9:30 pm

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Catering for private parties! Call for carryout! | THE SPOT for vegan and vegetable dishes! (non-veggie too!) Come in for our Sunday dinner buffet! | Up to 250 people banquet hall for parties or conferences 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // a&e

EASTER SUNDAY BRUNCH

2011

Join Us For An Elaborate Easter Buffet in the Ballroom of the Ramada I 70 East. • Adult: $22.95 • Seniors: $18.95 • Children 4 to 12: $10.95 • 3 & Under FREE

April 24, 2011 11:00am – 3:00pm For Reservations Call: 317-359-1155 Come and Enjoy Our Petting Zoo! Featuring Newborn Baby Animals Zoo Hours: Noon – 3:00pm

On Friday, June 3rd, join NUVO in honoring the contributions of eight of Indianapolis’ leading innovators at the 13th annual Cultural Vision Awards. The celebration starts at 6:30 p.m. at the Athenaeum Theatre located at 401 East Michigan St.

6990 East 21st Street, Indianapolis, IN 46219

JOBS WITH JUSTICE’s Allison Luthe (right, speaking at the mic) put in plenty of overtime during the last legislative session at the Indiana Statehouse. JwJ played an important role in organizing workers and other citizens to stand up against Republican efforts to undermine union organizing and teachers’ collective bargaining rights. Part of a national nonprofit organization, Indy’s JwJ — comprised of labor unions, community groups, faith-based organizations, student groups and individuals — has been in existence since 2000.

The Cultural Vision Awards are free and open to the public. Please RSVP by June 1st at cva.nuvo.net The McKinney Family Foundation

MOVIES The Big Lebowski

Dude, you get to see it this week!

FILM CLIPS The following are reviews of films currently playing in Indianapolis area theaters. Reviews are written by Ed Johnson-Ott (EJO) unless otherwise noted.

OPENING

Cinema for stoners BY E D JO H N S O N - O T T EJO H N S O N O T T @N U V O . N E T Editors note: In keeping with the spirit of this issue, we asked our long-time movie reviewer to single out the best movies to watch… on weed.

AFRICAN CATS (G)

Disney animal documentary aimed at kids, with names given to the lions and cheetahs so the filmmakers can build stories around them. Samuel L. Jackson narrates. 90 minutes.

THE BIG LEBOWSKI (R)

As part of their Roving Cinema series, Indy Film Fest is screening cult classic The Big Lebowski in a bowling alley. That’s right, Jillian’s, 141 S. Meridian St., has bowling, and attendees are encouraged to bring blankets to camp out in the bowling lanes to make the most of the first come, first serve seating. Five dollars will get you in the door, or, for parties of up to six people, a $75 price tag will get true fans into the Big Lebowski Party which includes one game of bowling and reserved lane seats for the film. Free popcorn will be provided by Yelp. Wednesday, April 20; doors open at 6 p.m.; film at 7:30 p.m. For more: 560-4433 or indyfilmfest.org/live.

THE GRATEFUL DEAD MOVIE (NR)

This critically acclaimed cinematic concert rockumentary will take audiences back to the ‘70s for a one-night in-theater event. The film was shot during the Grateful Dead’s concerts at Winterland Arena in San Francisco in 1974, prior to the band taking a two-year sabbatical. Under the direction of the band’s lead guitarist Jerry Garcia and co-directed by Leon Gast, these legendary 1974 concerts capture the Grateful Dead at the pinnacle of their psychedelic worldwide fame while documenting the Dead Head experience. Premieres at Galaxy 14, AMC Castleton Square 14, and AMC Showplace Indianapolis 17, April 20, at 7:30 p.m. Visit www.fathomevents. com for ticket information.

MY HEART IS AN IDIOT [NR)

Davy Rothbart, who looks for love in all the right places, but all the wrong ways. Davy tours North America promoting his magazine FOUND. Along the way, Davy seeks advice on his tortured love life from people he meets (Zooey Deschanel, Ira Glass, Newt Gingrich, Davy’s mom, and others), and attempts to follow that advice, with comic and surprising results. The film weaves multiple stories to illustrate the joys and dangers of romantic pursuit. Premieres April 26 at Big Car Gallery (1043 Virginia Ave.), at 8 p.m. Admission is $8. A Q&A with Rothbart will follow the film; www.myheartisanidiot.com

Waking Life

Dreams within dreams. Richard Linklater’s superb 2001 philosophical film is talky in the best way, drifting from conversation to conversation, presenting an array of intriguing ideas passionately expressed, with the mundane and the profound all jumbled up. The visuals are wonderful: liveaction footage rotoscope-animated to create an enhanced reality. Waking Life is a joy to experience. Let it wash over you. And do see it again when you’re in a more downto-earth state of mind. It’ll lift you back up.

Yellow Submarine

The Beatles were barely involved in the making of this 1968 cartoon treat. Their contribution to the movie is a brief, disinvolved live-action cameo at the end. The voice actors portraying The Beatles are pretty bad, and the puns are real groaners. Doesn’t matter, because the fairy tale is packed with dazzling animated wonders set to Beatles’ songs. Yellow Submarine is a hallucinogenic feast of sights, sounds and silly blather.

Mars Attacks!

Tim Burton’s 1996 comic alien invasion movie, based on an infamous series of trading cards from the ‘60s, is a riotous celebration of anarchy, or maybe just interplanetary bad manners. The humans in the movie are a mess – note the fact that none of the authority figures can make a coherent speech – and the computer-animated Martians are maniacal, delightful brats. Hey, the movie has a scene where Pierce Brosnan – his disembodied head being held by mechanical tongs – flirts with Sarah Jessica Parker, whose head has been grafted onto the body of a chihuahua!

Zardoz

Want to know how confused the studio executives were by Zardoz? I saw it in NYC when it opened in 1974 and ushers passed out explanatory brochures to those waiting in line. It’s not that complicated: In the future, effete immortals live in lush seclusion, while the barbaric hordes outside the periphery shield are controlled by the false god Zardoz, with assists from guntoting thugs wearing red diapers. The fun begins when curious thug Zed, played by Sean Connery, sneaks past the barrier. A near-naked primitive in neo-Eden – what fun! John Boorman (Deliverance) wrote and directed this pompous, playful, often funny exercise.

Beetlejuice

Tim Burton’s 1988 – why do I keep telling you the years of these movies. Years don’t matter when you’re high! Anyhoo dude, the film is a bizarre dark comedy about a deranged dead guy who exorcises the living. Michael Keaton stars, with Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis and Winona Ryder. Very weird, very entertaining.

Apocalypse Now

Francis Ford Coppola’s masterpiece is an epic journey into insanity. The mix of images, acting and music on the trip is stunning, often horrifying, and unforgettable. Best keep a copy of Yellow Submarine handy in case this freaks you out.

Altered States

This documentary captures the roadtripping lifestyle of

SUPER (NR)

Dark comedy. Sad sack Frank (Rainn Wilson) snaps when his ex-addict wife (Liv Tyler) disappears with a drug dealer (Kevin Bacon). He emerges as a DIY superhero called Crimson Bolt, with a hand-made suit, a wrench and a crazed sidekick named Boltie (Ellen Page). 96 minutes.

Sci-fi with some seriously whacked-out visuals. William Hurt gets high in a sensory deprivation tank and we get to watch his visions. After a while, elements of the trips start manifesting themselves in the “real” world. The overwrought climax is great, so cool that a-ha ripped it off for their classic video, “Take On Me.”

They Live

This deliciously clunky John Carpenter flick about alien invaders is really a deliciously ponderous commentary on society. The secret messages will make you go “oooh.” The five + minutes fight scene between Roddy Piper and Keith David will make you wonder if your sense of time has been fucked-up forever. Plus you get to hear Piper say, “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass ... and I’m all out of bubblegum.”

Run Lola Run

Red-headed tough girl Lola (Franka Potente) has 20 minutes to save her boyfriend. The film presents three runs with different outcomes. Never mind that and don’t worry about the subtitles. This is one of the most kinetic movies ever made. Jump in.

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India Garden Best Indian Cuisine NOW OPEN DOWNTOWN

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music The New Pornographers Better than local good

B Y W A DE CO G G E S H A L L M U S I C@N U V O . N E T

ancouver is known for many things: Natural beauty. Ethnic diversity. Simple livability. Pot availability. All of which helps overshadow the fact the city is also the birthplace for many prominent musicians. It’s a sundry lot too. Everyone from punk band D.O.A. and industrial act Skinny Puppy to crooner Michael Buble and pop artists Bryan Adams and Sarah McLachlan. Add to that list indie rock darlings The New Pornographers, whose buoyant melodies and sunny sing-alongs over five full-length albums have earned them cult status and a place on numerous best-of lists. New Pornographers lead singer Carl was just another music-obsessed geek in the 1980s, pilfering his older brother’s record collection to immerse himself in the works of David Bowie and Talking Heads. By the ’90s he was full-fledged into the raging grunge scene of the day, playing what he called really ugly music. “We were very loud and repetitive and abrasive,” Newman said of his work at the time during a recent phone interview. “That was the first time I thought hey, maybe I’ll write songs. At that point I thought I¹ll just make up a few riffs and string them together and scream over the top of them and that’s a song.” That inspiration lasted less than a year before Newman began pining to write “real” music. By then he was engrossed by songwriters like Burt Bacharach and Brian Wilson. “I really got into the idea of classic pop songwriting,” Newman said. That’s when he joined the pop-rock group Zumpano, who worked up two albums for Sub Pop before dissolving. Even before its demise was final, Newman knew he needed to start on a plan B. Slowly, The New Pornographers came into being. “I just started assembling other people around me,” Newman said. “I didn’t think of it too seriously. I just started pulling people together.” He began recruiting members based on the instruments he needed. The drummer, who turned out to be Kurt Dahle, was the toughest to find. Neko Case, who now has an acclaimed solo career, was someone Newman knew from the Vancouver music scene. She hadn’t issued a record yet, but he was fully aware of her vocal talent. Dan Bejar was another locally undiscovered gem. “I had never been that overly impressed with anyone in Vancouver,” Newman said of Bejer. “There’s good and there’s local good, like you might say, ‘Pretty good for someone from Indianapolis.’ Dan was the

onnuvo.net

THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS, THE WALKMEN The Vogue, 6259 N. College Ave. Friday, April 22, 9 p.m., $25 (plus applicable fees), 21+

first person I’d ever known or played with that I thought this guy has a really worldclass sense of songwriting.” Newman is the chief architect of The New Pornographers (whose lineup is rounded out by John Collins, Todd Fancey, Blaine Thurier, and Kathryn Calder, Newman’s niece), but all the band members have a hand in shaping the groups sound. Newman, who didn’t start playing guitar until he was 18, says his compositions often change once he brings them to the rest of the band. “Songs just take on a life of their own,” he said. “Maybe some keyboard line will enter the song and I’ll think that’s amazing, it should drive the song. That changes the whole dynamic of the song, and it makes me want to change the melody and the words. I’m a big fan of just trying everything. It’s good to be prepared, but there’s also something to be said for just going into the studio and winging it, and following your instincts, seeing where things take you.” The New Pornographers’ blithe sound often belies a serious message. Tracks like “Adventures in Solitude” and “Valkyrie in the Roller Disco” address suicide. They collaborated with Oxfam on the music video for their song “Sweet Talk, Sweet Talk” to maintain awareness of the Gulf Coast’s continued recovery from last year’s BP oil spill. Newman figures that aspect of their music generally gets overlooked. That

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Selm: On Record Store Day Look: Acoustic Live Challenge update, Lil Wayne review

or people just don’t care. “It’s a little incongruous sometimes – having an upbeat song with a downbeat message,” he said. “It’s not usually what people do. But it’s hard to write really happy lyrics. It’s amazing when The Turtles are singing, ‘I can’t see me loving nobody but you.’ It’s the perfect pop song, but myself, I have a hard time doing that. When I start writing lyrics, they’re always a lot darker and melancholy, or oblique. Even when I try to write love songs and more heart on my sleeve, people don’t understand them, even though I think I’m

being pretty clear.” It’s ultimately up to the fans to get what they want out of The New Pornographers’ music. Their goal all along has been to make records you’d want to listen to through headphones. “We wanted to make records for stoned people, but we also wanted to be the band you could just go see and dance to and have fun,” Newman said. “So we’re making music half for the stoned people and half for the drunk people.”

Music to spark up by

Andy Salge as solo performer of the year, Arlin Trout as musician/activist of the year. They’re all fine musicians, and stalwart foot soldiers in the fight for re-legalization. But it’s an oversight to exclude J. Brookinz from the awards. The local producer, one of the creative minds behind Heavy Gun Recordings, lives and breathes pot. Take last year’s The Gateway Drug: THC, a local star-studded, pot-themed comp that inspired a “theatrical” adaptation at Locals Only (more of a revue, it featured performances by most of the album’s special guests, all of whom happened to visit Brookinz at his home during the course of a couple hours to smoke a blunt and deter him from calling a lady friend). Or witness to his work in the weed-related

Brookinz’s new one and other 4.20 shows BY SCO TT SHOGER SSHO G ER@ N UVO.NET We don’t want to begrudge the winners of music prizes at this year’s Indiana Cannabis Awards (pg. 10): Rich Hardesty for best record (Culturally Insane) The Gitmos for best song (“I Wanna Grow Weed”),

Nichols: Roots/rock notes: Bobbie Lancaster, Chris Shaffer Shoger: Notes on the APA finals

/PHOTO

Scott and Axler: Record Store Day Digital Rabbit: March of Rhymes benefit

Continued on page 28.

/VIDEO

NUVO’s Top 5 Concerts on IMC with Sarah Myer

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Continued from page 27.

industries: Brookinz is an employee at the Broad Ripple head shop 20 Past 4 and More, another Indiana Cannabis Award winner, in the Community Service category. I reached Brookinz at his job on the day of the release of Gateway2, his follow-up to last year’s The Gateway Drug: THC. The new 11-track collection, recorded during a 48 hour span at a practice space belonging to the indie rock band The Kemps, features 28 special guests, including a who’s-who of local emcees: Ace One, Andy D, Oreo Jones, Rusty Redenbacher, Mic Sol, Yeti-One, alpha. live and others I won’t mention for reasons of space, not talent. Built on psych rock guitar riffs and peppered with phone messages — including a plea by one of Brookinz’s friends, Young Carolyn, to remove Brookinz’s smelly crew from her house — Gateway2 isn’t solely concerned with pot: There’s plenty of highspirited japery concerning “honey badgers,” “future ninjas” and the importance of family, perhaps because the family that smokes together, stays together. But a cloud of smoke hovers over the whole record, which is relaxed, non-combative and packed with fun rhymes. And there are plenty double- or single-entendre tunes concerning Brookinz’s object of infatuation: the dreamy “Stuck” (“don’t wanna move / not coming down till the mother ship comes around”), the Little Shop of Horrors-inspired “Food (Feed Me)” (“Seymour, I need more / Seymour, feed me”). It all sounds like fun, and Brookinz says it was: “I recorded people I’d never even seen before. It was just that type of atmosphere. People would come in and listen to beats, vibe with other artists, smoke, drink, record, then disappear into the madness.” According to Brookinz, one guy completely disappeared: Tag, an emcee in the group MSK, who took an “infamous weed nap,” passing out on a couch for roughly 15 hours after being laid low by a vaporizer. Still, Brookinz emphasizes the challenges he set up for himself when creating

the new album THC. First there was his collaborator: the first record was ostensibly a solo effort, but Grey Granite, one of Brookinz’s partner in crime at Heavy Gun Recordings, joined in for its sequel. “He’s super-creative, he pushes me to be a more creative producer — plus, he puts up with my bullshit,” Brookinz said of Granite. And he had to look deeper into his own record collection: “On the first Gateway, I sampled all Midwest soul and funk records. That was easy. I can sample funk and soul in my sleep. I’ve only sampled psych a couple of times and I wanted to dive deeper into that style of rock. Plus it adds a sense of uniformity to the project as a whole.”

4.20 SHOWS Brookinz and his cohorts will hold a Gateway2 release show April 20 at Rock Lobster (from 9 p.m., $3 cover). Expect plenty of special guests and turntable work by Old Soul’s DJ Sapp. The album is available in its entirety via SoundCloud and DatPiff. Check out heavygunblog.com for more info. While we recommend checking out the Gateway2 party, The 4.20 Tent Party at The Mousetrap (3 p.m.-3 a.m., $5) is the day’s can’t-miss show, featuring 20 performers on two stages (the indoor one you know and love as well as the titular outdoor tent). The lineup thus far: Twin Cats, Rich Hardesty Band, Slater Hogan, Midwest Hype, Jackola, Psynapse vs. Hollowpoint, Rudy Kizer, Steady B, Max Allen Band, Ike & Rory, Mike B & OhBeOne, Brian Summers, Justin House & Andrew, Kyu-Bik, Bassiq, Wesley Clay, Kid K. Also of note on April 20 is the ReLegalize Indiana Awareness Show (9 p.m., $5), a showcase at the Melody Inn hosted by the same people who brought you April 19’s Cannabis Awards, with entertainment by Blackfoot Gypsies, Astro Nixon and Cosmic Laughter.

SOUNDCHECK

Ricky Skaggs

Wednesday

See pg. 28 for 4.20-related events. LATIN JAZZ DANILO PÉREZ

The Jazz Kitchen, 5377 N. College Ave. 7 and 9 p.m., $20, 21+

The Cabaret at the Columbia Club, 121 Monument Circle, Ste. 516 8 p.m., $25-$45 ($12 food or beverage minimum), all ages

It’s Jazz Appreciation Month, which means it’s time to crack open that thick, sometimes abstruse tome — The History of Jazz, Vols. 1-322 — and pick out a few choice bits to put before an audience. Vocalist Cynthia Layne will lead take this one-night-only slot at the Cabaret, joined by the Indy Jazz Fest Band. And because the History of Jazz is a multi-media work, there’ll be video projection featuring classic jazz performers.

ACOUSTIC GUITAR CANDYRAT GUITAR NIGHT

Quite the talented mandolinist and capable of surfing genres (from bluegrass to nu-grass to country pop and back), Ricky Skaggs burst onto the scene as young’un with Flatt and Scruggs, cut his teeth as a teen in Ralph Stanley’ s band and then brought a little soul back to mainstream country in the ‘80s as a solo artist, scoring with a number of singles filed under new traditional that showcased him as both a picker and singer . He does it his way at this point, recording a variety of records for his own label, including a recent mostly rock record, Mosaic, as well as gospel records, collabs with other huge names such as Bruce Hornsby and tributes to folks like Bill Monroe (a couple of those).

CandyRat Records, a Wisconsin-based label that’s home to a number of finger-style guitarists, including the quite successful Andy McKee, showcases four of its artists, the Italian-born Stefano Barone, who points to industry leader Michael Hedges and composer Steve Reich as inspirations; Ewan Dobson, a Canadian who made the unaccountable choice to wear a rising sun bandanna in his press photo; Craig D’Andrea, a winner of the Canadian Fingerstyle Championship; and the Welsh Gareth Pearson, something of a wunderkind who’s already played all the major jazz and folk festivals.

Thursday

ROOTS LUCINDA WILLIAMS

The Vogue, 6259 N. College Ave. 8 p.m., $32 advance (plus applicable fees), $35 door, 21+

The old story on Williams was that she spent way too much time on records, consigning herself to being a critic’s favorite because casual fans could only expect a new album every eight years or so. But she picked up her pace significantly during the ‘00s, and this March saw the release of her first new album of this decade, Blessed, just three years after her last one, Little Honey, appeared. It addresses some her same concerns — death, by illness (“Copenhagen,” about the sudden passing of her manager) or by suicide (“Seeing Black,” about singer-songwriter Vic Chesnutt’s departure on Christmas Day 2009), and fractured relationships (album opener “Buttercup”). Williams writes about current events more on Blessed than in her other work, particularly on “Soldier’s Song,” a ripped-from-the-headlines piece contrasting

music // 04.20.11-04.27.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

Friday

JAZZ THE HISTORY OF JAZZ

In town to judge last weekend’s APA Jazz Fellowship Awards, Danilo Perez stuck around for the week to take the Wednesday slot at The Jazz Kitchen, the one typically reserved for touring musicians (who sometimes sneak in and out without too much of a peep). Perez deserves more than a peep, though; call him a Latin pianist, or Pan-American as his bio has it (and that sounds more appropriate, given his thorough grounding in this country’s postbop tradition), but just call him. His latest record, Providencia, draws substantially on the music of his native Panama, where his Fundación Danilo Pérez offers cultural and musical education to young people in the capital of Panama City.

Radio Radio, 1119 E. Prospect St. 8 p.m., $12, 21+

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COUNTRY RICKY SKAGGS AND KENTUCKY THUNDER

Warren Performing Arts Center, 9500 E. 16th St. 8 p.m., $38-$40 (warrenpac.org), all ages

ROCK THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS, THE WALKMEN The Vogue, 6259 N. College Ave. 9 p.m., $25 (plus applicable fees), 21+ See feature, pg. 27.

Saturday

INDIE ROCK CULTURE SHOCK 2011 Dunn Meadow, Bloomington 2 p.m., free, all ages

An annual, free showcase presented by IU student radio station WIUX, Culture Shock can always be depended on for a lineup pretty well attuned to the pulse of what used to be called college radio and is now less satisfyingly called indie rock. Low-fi garage rocker Ty Segall is at the head of the lineup, followed the echo-y, surfy Beach Fossils, Philadelphia’s sometimes shoegazey The War on Drugs, and one-man, DIY dance crew Terror Pigeon Dance Revolt (Luaka Bop). With Weakness, Waxeater and Gardendale & Berkley.

following a recent move from Los Angeles to New York City. Wells, a cover subject in NUVO well before she found her current voice, creates many-layered, many-genred “symphonies” (the term being used in a loose sense, like when we say something fully-loaded with strings is orchestral), bringing together folk, classical, musique concrete and, most notably, hip-hop; her cover Biggie Small’s “Juicy” kind of lays it on the line, and has inspired both critical admiration and dismissal.

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Radio Radio, 1119 E. Prospect St. 8 p.m., $8 advance (theraa.eventbrite.com), $10 door, 21+

What is the Rural Alberta Advantage? Presumably, it’s having access to the kind of landscape that makes you want to write sweet, kind, will-of-the-wisp indie-pop songs. The band’s latest record, Departing (Saddle Creek Records), has a little more oomph than their debut, maintaining the group’s bittersweet, pastoral feel while adding a more guitar. JAZZ INDIANAPOLIS GUITAR SUMMIT

The Jazz Kitchen, 5377 N. College Ave. 8 and 10 p.m., $15, 21+

Every few months, guitarist Bill Lancton (of Dog Talk and Bill Lancton fame) brings together a bumper crop of local guitarists, asking them to address the pressing issues of the day in a summit. Well, actually, they just play music; that’s good enough, right? With Chicago’s Henry Johnson (Ramsey Lewis, Joe Williams), Sandy Williams, Frank Steans on guitar, Scott Pazera on bass and Greg Artry on drums.

Tuesday

INDIE POP EMILY WELLS, ECHOMAKER White Rabbit Cabaret, 1116 Prospect St. 9 p.m., $7, 21+

Emily Wells METAL ANAL CUNT, THE DOCKERS, SLAM DUNK, DAISY CUTTER, TRI STATE KILLING SPREE The Vollrath, 118 E. Palmer St. 8 p.m., 21+

Some publications like to style Anal Cunt’s name as AxCx, or just A.C. W e have no such qualms, though we’re not sure if their anti-social approach is meant to be taken as criticism, or if it just taps, in an unexamined way , into a stupid, mean streak in metal culture. T he grindcore band is famous not only for its name (perhaps taken from a G. G. Allin song), but also for its song titles —picking some tamer ones, we have “I Pushed Your Wife in Front of the Subway,” “I Ate Your Horse” and “Sweatshops Are Cool.” Most active during the ‘90s, the band returned with new album this year ( Fuckin’ A) after a rough decade that saw lead singer Seth Putnam fall into a month-long drug abuseinduced coma.

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Behold the 2011 Miss Snake Charmer

Squeezing blood from Lime Wire BY CHUCK SHEPHERD Laney Wallace, 16, won the beauty contest at the 53rd Rattlesnake Roundup in Sweetwater, Texas, in March and the next day fulfilled the first duty of her reign: to behead and skin a western diamondback. “You have to make sure you don’t pop the bladder,” the 2011 Miss Snake Charmer said shortly after taking a few swipes with a machete. “That (would be) a huge mess.” (Three years ago, News of the Weird informed readers of the annual

beauty-contest/muskratskinning festival in Maryland’s Eastern Shore region, in which the “beauty” part and the “skinning” part are separate — but in which that year, two teenage girls entered both, with Dakota Abbott edging out Samantha Phillips for the crown.)

Compelling explanations

• Record companies have enjoyed recent successes in court by suing individuals who have shared music by trading files through specialized websites that avoid paying copyright licensing fees, including Lime Wire (which shut down last year). Thirteen record companies won a summary judgment last year, and, applying a formula they believe was set out in federal law, the companies demanded that Lime Wire pay damages of up to $75 trillion — an amount more than five times the entire national debt. In March 2011, a federal judge said the companies should modify the formula and lower CONTINUED ON PG. 43

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD their expectations. • Waterloo, Iowa, schoolteacher Larry Twigg was arrested for “lascivious conduct” with a teenager, a crime that requires proof of “sexual motivation.” Though Twigg allegedly had a teenage boy strip, take a chocolate syrup “bath,” make a “snow angel” while in his underwear, and play a video game nude, his lawyer said in March that the court-appointed psychiatrist would testify that Twigg had no sexual motivation. • Convicted heinous Minnesota sex offender John Rydberg, 69 and still detained after having served his sentence because he is still a “danger,” exhibited an upbeat demeanor for a three-judge panel in March, hoping for release. He said his number of victims was far fewer than the “94” he previously admitted to, explaining that he offered a purposely high number because he was afraid underplaying his crimes might make it appear that he was lying. “What can I say?” offered Rydberg. “I’m a work in progress.”

Ironies

• On March 30, several hours before addressing the nation on TV about Libya, President Obama received a prestigious open-records award presented by five freedom-of-information advocate organizations for running a commendably “transparent,” accessible administration. However, news about this award came about only because the presenters leaked it to the press. As noted by The Washington Post the next day, there was no White House notice to the press; the presentation was not on the president’s calendar; no photos or transcript were available; and the award was not mentioned on the White House website. • Go Figure: (1) The author of most of the text of The New York Times obituary on Elizabeth Taylor, published on March 23, was Times reporter Mel Gussow, who passed away almost six years before Taylor. (2) At George Washington University’s men’s basketball game on March 5, accountancy department professor Robert Kasmir was honored at halftime for being one of the elite financial donors to the university, but he was not around for the end of the game. He was ejected from the stands in the second half for harassing a referee about the officiating.

Notes, the average taxpayer residing in New York City’s posh Helmsley Building (owned before her death by Leona Helmsley, who once reportedly said that “only the little people pay taxes”) paid only 14.7 percent of his income in federal taxes while New York City janitors and security guards (such as those employed by the Helmsley Building) paid about 24 percent. Helmsley residents were taxed less for Social Security and Medicare, and much of their $1.17 million average income was in capital gains, which are taxed at the same rate as the wages of modestly paid (up to $34,000 a year) workers. • In February, Wisconsin state Rep. Gordon Hintz was caught up in an ongoing investigation of prostitution at the Heavenly Touch Massage Parlor in Appleton that resulted in six arrests. Police merely issued Hintz a municipal citation (indicating that he might just have been in the wrong place at the wrong time). Nonetheless, Hintz refused to discuss the matter. “I am willing to take responsibility for my actions,” he said, but “(m)y concern right now” is not to be “distract(ed) from the much more important issue” of “stand(ing) up for Wisconsin’s working families.” • People With Too Much Money: The average sale price of a home in Aspen, Colo., in 2010 was about $6 million, and as of early March 2011, the lowest-price single-family home on the market there was listed at $559,000, according to a Wall Street Journal report. The home is located in a trailer park.

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The litigious society

• The family of the late Roger Kreutz filed a lawsuit in St. Louis in March over the fatal head injuries he received when a car knocked him down in a Starbucks parking lot in 2008. The driver was Aaron Poisson, who was trying to get away from Kreutz, but Poisson was not sued. According to the lawsuit, the cause of the fatal injury was negligence by Starbucks — because it had mindlessly placed its tip jar in full view on a counter, thus (according to the theory of the lawsuit) goading Poisson into snatching up the money and running out the door, and inspiring Kreutz, as a good Samaritan, to chase Poisson and try to retrieve the employees’ tips.

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Leading economic indicators

• According to a February 2011 analysis of 2007 IRS statistics by a columnist for Tax

Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.c om. 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 04.20.11-04.27.11 adult

classifieds ADULT ........................................................................................................33 AUTO.......................................................................................................... 39 BODY/MIND/SPIRIT ....................................................................................39 EMPLOYMENT ...........................................................................................37 MARKETPLACE ..........................................................................................39 RELAXING MASSAGE ................................................................................ 35 REAL ESTATE ............................................................................................. 36 TO ADVERTISE A CLASSIFIEDS AD: Phone: (317) 254-2400 | Fax: (317) 479-2036 E-mail: classifieds@nuvo.net | www.nuvo.net/classifieds Mail: Nuvo Classifieds 3951 North Meridian St., Suite 200 Indianapolis, Indiana 46208

EMPLOYMENT, AUTO, SERVICES, MARKETPLACE

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Phone: 808.4612 ndynak@nuvo.net

NUVO is committed to promoting equal housing opportunities. We would like our readers to know that it is unlawful to place a housing advertisement that discriminates on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, disability, familial status and national origin.

1 AND 2 BEDROOMS Carpet or hardwood floors available. Very private building located in residential area on N. Pennsylvania St. Only $99 deposit. From $470. Call Kelli 924-6256.

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Convenient to Broad RippleKeystone-Glendale Town Center-Downtown! 1/2/3 bedrooms. Heat Paid. 24/hr Health/Fitness Club. Resort Style Pool. 317-253-5261 www.LakewoodLodgeApts.com

HUGE 1 BEDROOM Beautiful oak floors, central heat/air. Updated bathrooms and new kitchens with dishwasher. Gated Parking. Located on Meridian Street. From $495. Kelli 924-6256.

stallardapartments.com 16TH & COLLEGE Luxury 1BR, 1.5BA Condo w/nice kitchen, balcony, garage, office. Close to Mass Ave. & Monon Trail. $1000/mo 317-748-8171

COME SEE THE NEW AND IMPROVED JAMETOWNE TODAY! 1, 2 & 3 Bedrooms Available! Pet Friendly • Lawrence School District Convenient to Shopping and Bus Routes

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POLICIES: Advertiser warrants that all goods or services advertised in NUVO are permissible under applicable local, state and federal laws. Advertisers and hired advertising agencies are liable for all content (including text, representation and illustration) of advertisements and are responsible, without limitation, for any and all claims made thereof against NUVO, its officers or employees. Publisher reserves the right to categorize, edit, cancel or refuse ads. Classified ad space is limited and granted on a first come, first served basis. NUVO accepts no liability for its failure, for any cause, to insert any advertisement. Liability for any error appearing in an ad is limited to the cost of the space actually occupied. No allowance, however, will be granted for an error that does not materially affect the value of an ad. To qualify for an adjustment, any error must be reported within 15 days of publication date. Credit for errors is limited to first insertion.

PAYMENT, & ADVERTISING DEADLINE All ads are prepaid in full by Monday at 5 P.M. Nuvo gladly accepts Cash, Check, Money order, Visa, Mastercard, American Express & Discover. (Please include drivers license # on all checks. )

Homes for sale | Rentals Mortgage Services | Roommates To advertise in Real Estate, Call Nuvo classifieds @ 254-2400

CALL TODAY 317-869-0810

8917 Duxbury Rd. Indianapolis, IN 46226

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Phone: 808.4609 acassel@nuvo.net

RENTALS DOWNTOWN

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ALL UTILITIES PAID 1 bedroom with oversized closet and spacious kitchen with ceramic tile in charming Chatham Manor at 708 E. 11th St. Beautiful grounds and very close to MASS AVE! $525 per month Call 317-713-7123 or e-mail aaronreel@gmail.com. Athena Real Estate Services BEHIND PEPPY GRILL 1BR. Appliances and utilities included. Upstairs. $500/mo. 317-730-0782 HERRON MORTON PLACE 19th and Ala. 2BR, 1BA, offstreet parking, fenced, all electric, Heat pump $565 month, 1 yr lease. Newly restored. 317-432-0951. HISTORIC FOUNTAIN SQUARE Luxury Flats Now Available 1BR & Studio Available. Close to Lilly. 317-639-6541 LOVE DOWNTOWN? Roomy 1920’s Studio near IUPUI & Canal. Dining area with built-ins, huge W/I closet. Heat paid. Shows Nicely! $425/mo. and up. Leave message 722-7115.

RENTALS NORTH SOUTH BROADRIPPLE AREA Large 2 bedrm flat with full basement. W/D hkup. Oak floors, central heat/air. Updated bathrm and new kitchen with Dishwasher. Only $680. Call Kelli 924-6256.

BROAD RIPPLE 6007 N. College. Unique, remodeled 1BD Apartment. $575 - 675/mo. + gas/electric. Free Laundry. 317-259-0900 BROAD RIPPLE / Meridian Kessler PENN PARK APARTMENTS 50th & Penn. 1 & 2 bdrm. Quiet setting, in good shape, electric only. From $625-$725/ mo. 371-3772 BROADRIPPLE AREA Newly decorated apartments near Monon Trail. Spacious, quiet, secluded. Starting $475. 5300 Carrollton Ave. 257-7884. EHO CARMEL Twin Lakes Apartments All Utilities Paid Apts & Townhomes (317)-846-2538. EDGEWOOD TERRACE APARTMENTS 2BR, 1BA. Newer appliances. Hardwood floors. Gated, secure community. $499-$510/mo. Water, sewer and gas paid. 3510 N. Pennsylvania. Call Deby at 454-6779. ELLIS APTS 3472 N. Illinois St. 1BR SPECIAL. $425 per month, $100 deposit, locked building, on busline. 632-2912 GLENDALE BROAD RIPPLE AREA Small, newly decorated bungalow. Nice Yard. 257-7884 HOWLAND MANOR APTS 3753 N. Meridian St. 1BR $475, deposit $100, on busline, locked building, off street parking. 632-2912 PENNVIEW APTS 3740 N. Pennsylvania St. 1BR $475, deposit $100, on busline, off street parking. 632-2912

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THE GRANVILLE & THE WINDEMERE Winter Special - one month free - move in on your deposit only! Vintage 2 BR/1ba apts. located in the heart of BR village. Great dining, entertainment and shopping at your doorstep. One half block off the Monon; on-site laundries & free storage; hdwds and cable prewired. $575 - $650; we pay water, sewer, & heat. Karen 257.5770

RENTALS SOUTH GREAT SOUTHSIDE LOCATION Large 1 bedrm in quiet courtyard setting. Less than a mile from University of Indianapolis. Only $425 with $99 deposit. Call Christine at 716-3432.

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CONDO: • Modern style 2 bedroom, 2 bath • 1450 square feet • 50 feet from the beach • Panoramic views of sunsets on Banderas Bay and Marina Riviera Nayarit • Swimming pool, gym, laundry room, 24 hour security• Located a few blocks from the Marina Riviera Nayarit (best Marina in Mexico!) Visitors info: www.marinarivieranayarit.com • www.lacruzdehuanacaxtle.com • www.visitpuertovallarta.com • www.vallarta-adventures.com

WORLD CLASS ACTIVITIES: • Fishing - sailfish, marlin, tuna, dorado • Surfing - 15 minutes from Sayulita • Scubadiving/Snorkeling - Murrieta Island , Los Arcos etc • Golf - 5 golf courses within 20 miles • Whale watching • Canopy/River Tours in the Rainforests of Puerto Vallarta

Phone: (951) 637-1238 Email: ylozano67@yahoo.com www.bigbridgetravel.com/portal/ listings/P25321

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ROOMMATES

HEAT PAID! Large 2 bedrooms. Hardwood flrs & pets welcome. Great Irvington location near library, shops and dining. Deposit special of $99. Rents from $535. Call 356-2971.

ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www. Roommates.com. (AAN CAN) CASTLETON ESTATES Share my safe, quiet, comfortable, friendly home including utilities, cable, and Hi-speed. $110/ week. 317-813-1017

OFFICE SPACE HISTORIC FOUNTAIN SQUARE 1026 Shelby Street. Office and/ or Retail. 317-639-6541.

PART-TIME STAGE TECH WANTED JOB FAIR April 21st - MORALES GROUP INC 10 a.m.To 3 p.m. - 5628 W. 74th St. Indianapolis, IN Forklift Operators and General Labor Positions Clean Background & Drug Screen - $9/HR to $14/HR If you can’t make it in: Every Wednesday we accept applications from 10-2 p.m or apply online moralesgroup.net

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BIG BEAUTIFUL AZ LAND $99/mo. $0 down, $0 interest, Golf Course, Nat’l Parks. 1 hour from Tucson Int’l Airport. Guaranteed Financing, No Credit Checks. Pre-recorded msg. 800-631-8164 code 4057 www.sunsiteslandrush.com (AAN CAN)

Indy Parks is seeking a part-time stage tech to help support a full season of music and movies around Indianapolis. Earning $12/ hour, the employee must have strong customer service skills and a well-rounded knowledge of sound, lighting and stage equipment and techniques. Position works 20 hrs./week Sept-May and 40 hrs./week June-Aug. Applicants must be Marion County residents, maintain a valid driver’s license and undergo a background check. Position requires regular lifting and carrying of equipment up to 50 pounds, working in varied weather conditions.

For more information or to apply, visit the “Education and Jobs” page on indy.gov or contact the Production Arts Manager, George Benn, at 317-327-7062 or george.benn@indy.gov.

Restaurant | Healthcare Salon/Spa | General To advertise in Employment, Call Adam @ 808-4609

CAREER TRAINING EARN $75 - $200 HOUR Media Makeup Artist Training. Ads, TV, Film, Fashion. One week class. Stable job in weak economy. Details at www. AwardMakeUpSchool.com 310-364-0665 (AAN CAN)

PROFESSIONAL MECHANICS NEEDED 3yrs. Experience. $14/hr flat rate. 317-328-0076

SALES/MARKETING HIRING FRIENDLY SALES PERSON Organic Farm Store. Part time. Open Daily, Friday evenings. Email resume to events@ traderspointcreamery.com

SALON/SPA HAIRSTYLISTS Booth Rent Only. Castleton/Broad Ripple area. Call Suz 317-490-7894

RESTAURANT/ BAR HIRING EXPERIENCED SERVERS/HOSTESSES With an appreciation for Organic Food! Open Daily for Lunch and Dinner. Must be available on Fridays. To apply for the position, email your resume and references to events@ traderspointcreamery.com SENSU IS CURRENTLY SEEKING Outstanding Servers, Bartenders and Sushi Chefs. Send your resume to info@ sensuindy.com or apply online at www.sensuindy.com

OAKLEY’S BISTRO is looking for a Server with fine dining experience. Send resume to chris@oakleysbistro.com.

ST. ELMO STEAK HOUSE Now hiring Hostess/Host. Availability in evenings. Requirements: professional, organized and friendly. Apply within: 127 S. Illinois Street, Indianapolis, IN 46225. After 1:00pm

GENERAL

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-4057619 EXT 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

Closed Sundays & Holidays

Live and work Buddhist center northern Cali. Positions in book bindery, land work, kitchen. Incl. housing, meals, living allowance, classes. Must have Buddhist interest. Details contact@nyingmavolunteer.org LOCAL DATA ENTRY/TYPISTS Needed immediately. $400 PT - $800 FT weekly. Flexible schedule, work from own PC. 1-800-310-0154 (AAN CAN) Paid In Advance! Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home! Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.net (AAN CAN)

Hiring Experienced Servers, and Cook Apply in person 2pm-4pm @ 9419 N. Meridian Award Winning Team • Top Pay • Great Benefits

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To advertise in Research Studies, call Adam @ 808-4609

Do you have Bipolar Disorder or mood swings???? Perhaps you can help us! The Indiana University Medical Center Mood Disorders Clinic is searching for people between the ages of 18-60 with bipolar disorder or mood swings to participate in a clinical trial. Qualiﬁed participants will receive medical and psychiatric exams at no cost. The study consists of questionnaires and a brain scan (MRI). At that time participants have the option to continue on for further treatments with medication. Risks associated with the study will be disclosed prior to study initiation. For more information, call

(317) 278-3311.

Please leave your name and a phone number at which you can easily be reached.

CHRONIC HIVES STUDY Local doctors are currently conducting the Asteria II study evaluating an investigational medication for chronic hives. To qualify for this research study, you must: •Be 12-75 years of age, AND •Have experienced itching and have hives: •on an almost daily basis for more than 8 weeks continuously •even though you are using antihistamine treatment, AND •Have been diagnosed with chronic hives for at least six months, AND •MUST be willing and able to complete an electronic study diary twice daily at home for the duration of the study. The diary asks questions about your hives and itch. Qualiﬁed participants will receive study medication as well as study-related medical evaluations and tests at no cost. Reimbursement for time and travel may also be provided.

Dawes Fretzin Clinical Research Group, LLC 8103 Clearvista Parkway, Suite 260 Indianapolis, IN 46256 (317) 621-7731 38

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FINANCIAL SERVICES

Services | Misc. for Sale Musicians B-Board | Pets To advertise in Marketplace, Call Adam @ 808-4609

LEGAL SERVICES

ANNOUNCEMENTS THE ARTS COUNCIL OF INDIANAPOLIS is launching a city-wide murals program and is seeking to contact the artists who painted the murals currently on the Downtown Canal Walk in Indianapolis. If you painted or assisted on any of these projects or know someone who did, please contact publicart@ indyarts.org or call (317) 631-3301.

WANTED AUTO CASH FOR CARS We buy cars, trucks, vans, runable or not or wrecked. Open 24/7. 987-4366. FREE HAUL AWAY ON JUNK CARS.

BUSINESS SERVICES INDY CELLULAR 4LESS NEW & PRE-OWNED CELL PHONES All Phones (New & Used) Come with Warranty. We Buy, Recycle, or Donate All Cell Phones. we are authorized dealers of unlimited and the worldwide shipping. • We are Authorized retailers for ALL Monthly Unlimited Plans • Accessories for All Cell Phones • Cell Phone Unlocking & Flashing No Contract Phones For All Carriers. Mention NUVO and get a $2 car charger. (One coupon per customer. While supplies last) 6520 E. 82nd St. Indianapolis, IN 46250 317-536-5455 www.indycellular4less.com Check our website for cell phones in stock & worldwide shipping orders.

Certified Massage Therapists Yoga | Chiropractors | Counseling To advertise in Body/Mind/Spirit, Call Nathan @ 808-4612 Advertisers running in the CERTIFIED MASSAGE THERAPY section have graduated from a massage therapy school associated with one of four organizations: American Massage Therapy Association (amtamassage.org)

International Massage Association (imagroup.com)

Association of Bodywork and Massage Professionals (abmp.com)

International Myomassethics Federation (888-IMF-4454)

Additionally, one can not be a member of these four organizations but instead, take the test AND/OR have passed the National Board of Therapeutic Massage & Bodywork exam (ncbtmb.com).

CERTIFIED MASSAGE THERAPISTS DOWNTOWN MASSAGE Got pain? We can help! 1 Block from Circle. $10 off for new customers. Guaranteed relief! 12pm - 12am by appointment. 317-489-3510 RELAX AND UNWIND Stress relief. Take a minute for yourself. Special rates available. Flexible schedule. 317-717-7820 GOT PAIN OR STRESS? Rapid and dramatic results from a highly trained, caring professional with 11 years experience. www.connectivetherapy.com: Chad A. Wright, ACBT, COTA, CBCT 317-372-9176 ASIAN THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE All therapists are licensed and certified with over 10 years of experience. Walk-ins Welcome, appointment is preferred. $48&up/hr. 6169 N. College Ave. www.PastelSpa.com 317-254-5995 THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE Please call Melanie 317-657-7419 Deep Tissue & Swedish 10am-9pm Southside

DROWNING IN DEBT? Ask us how we can help. Geiger Conrad & Head LLP Attorneys at Law 317.608.0798 www.gch-law. com As a debt relief agency, we help people file for bankruptcy. 1 N. Pennsylvania St. Suite 500 Indianapolis, IN 46204

EMPEROR MASSAGE Stimulus Rates InCall $38/60min, $60/95min. 1st visit. Call for details to discover and experience this incredible Japanese massage. Eastside, avail.24/7 • 317-431-5105 MASSAGEINDY.COM Walk-ins Welcome Starting at $25. 2604 E. 62nd St. 317-448-3228 PRO MASSAGE Experienced, Certified, Male Massage Therapist. Provides High Quality therapeutic Massage in Quiet Home Studio, Near Downtown. Paul 317-362-5333 Relax the Body, Calm the Mind, Renew the Spirit. Theraeutic massage by certified therapist with over 9 years experience. IN/OUT calls available. Near southside location. Call Bill 317-374-8507 www.indymassage4u.com RELAX AND RENEW MASSAGE Swedish, Sports and Deep Tissue Massage. 1425 E. 86th Street, Suite 8. 7 Days a week. Ron 317-257-5377.

GRESK & SINGLETON, LLP BANKRUPTCY/ COMMERCIAL LAW Bankruptcy is no longer an embarrassment. it is a financial planning tool that allows you to better take care of yourself and your family. We are a debt relief agency. We help people file for bankruptcy relief under the Bankruptcy Code. Free Bankruptcy ConsultationsEvenings & Saturday Appointments $100.00 will get your bankruptcy started. Paul D. Gresk 150 E. 10th Street,Indianapolis 317-237-7911

LICENSE SUSPENDED? Call me, an experienced Traffic Law Attorney,I can help you with: Hardship LicensesNo Insurance SuspensionsHabitual Traffic Violators-Relief from Lifetime SuspensionsDUI-Driving While Suspended & All Moving Traffic Violations! Christopher W. Grider, Attorney at Law FREE CONSULTATIONS www.indytrafficattorney.com 317-686-7219

ADOPTION PREGNANT? ADOPTION CAN BE YOUR FRESH START! Let Amanda and Kate meet you for lunch and talk about your options. Their Broad Ripple agency offers free counseling, support, living expenses and a friendly voice 24 hrs/day. YOU choose the family from happy, carefullyscreened couples. Pictures, letters, visits & open adoptions available. Listen to our birth mother’s stories at: www.adoptionsupportcenter.com 317-255-5916

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Now comes one of the supreme tests that most every Aries must periodically face: Will you live up to your promises? Will you follow through on your rousing start? Will you continue to stay passionately committed once the fiery infatuation stage evolves into the earthy foundation-building stage? Here’s a secret to succeeding at this test: You can’t just try to force yourself to “be good” and do the right thing. Nor does it work to use shame or guilt to motivate yourself. Somehow you’ve got to marshal pure, raw excitement for the gritty detail work to come. You’ve got to fall in love with the task of actually fleshing out your dreams.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Eighty years ago, an explorer who visited the Maori of New Zealand found they had such good eyesight that many were able to detect Jupiter’s four largest moons with their naked eyes. That’s the kind of vision you could have in the coming days, Libra — metaphorically speaking, at least. The astrological omens say you have the potential to see further and deeper into any part of reality you choose to focus on. Inner truths that have been hidden from you are ready to be plucked by your penetrating probes. For best results, cleanse your thoughts of expectations. Perceive what’s actually there, not what you want or don’t want to be there.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In his book on intuition, psychologist David G. Myers defines it as “the capacity for direct knowledge and immediate insight, without any observation or reason.” Another expert on the subject, Malcolm Gladwell, describes intuition as the “power of thinking without thinking.” Both authors encourage us to cultivate this undersung way of grasping our raw experience. But Myers also warns us of the perils of intuition if it’s untempered by logic and analysis. It can lead us down rabbit holes where we lose track of the difference between our fantasies and the real world. It can cause us to mistake our fears for accurate ESP or get lost in a maze of self-fulfilling prophecies. I bring all of this to your attention, Taurus, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to hone and purify your intuition.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You really should ventilate your house periodically, even when the weather’s cool. The air indoors gets stale; you need to flush it out and welcome in some fresh stuff. In my astrological opinion, it’s especially important for you to do this right now. So please consider opening all the windows for a while and inviting the breezes to blow through. In addition to its practical value for your respiratory system, it could serve as a ritual that gently blows the dusty crud out of your mind, thereby improving the circulation in your thoughts and emotions and fantasies.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): One of the most impressive elements of the Egyptian uprising in January and February came after it was all over. Eighteen days of street protests created a huge mess in Cairo’s Tahrir Square and the surrounding area. When Hosni Mubarak finally resigned and reforms began percolating, thousands of demonstrators returned with brooms and rubber gloves and garbage bags to set the place back in order. I urge you to follow a similar sequence in the coming weeks, Gemini. Agitate for change; rebel against the stale status quo; fight corruption and ignorance; and once your work has led to at least a partial success, clean up after yourself. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Sometimes nature seems more beautiful than strictly necessary,” said physicist Steven Weinberg as he admired a hackberry tree stoked with blue jays, yellowthroated vireos, and a red cardinal. You may find yourself thinking similar thoughts in the coming week, Cancerian. From what I can tell, life is primed to flood you with simple glories and exotic revelations, with signs of eternal splendor and hints of sublime meaning, with natural wonders and civilization’s more interesting gifts. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I became an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church when I was 19 years old. Since then I have officiated at numerous baptisms, initiations, weddings (including marrying people to themselves), divorces, renamings, housewarmings, ghost-banishings, and the taking of primal vows. In all my years of facilitating these ceremonies, I’ve rarely seen a better time than right now for you Leos to seek a cathartic rite of passage. You may even be tempted to try several. I recommend you do no more than two, however. Are you ready to break a taboo or smash an addiction? Renounce a delusion or pledge your devotion or leap to the next level? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It would be an excellent time for you to acquire the Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Kit, a package of goodies prepared by domestic expert Martha Stewart. I say this not because a Zombie Apocalypse is looming, or any other kind of apocalypse for that matter. Rather, the kit’s presence in your life might encourage you to make fun of your fears. And that would be a perfect way to cooperate with the current cosmic tendencies, which are conspiring to diminish the inhibitions that your anxieties hold in place. Remember one of the key rules in the game of life: Humor dissipates worry.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): What do you like most about work? What are the pleasurable experiences that happen for you when you’re engaged in demanding tasks that require you to be focused, competent, and principled? I think it’s important for you to identify those hardearned joys and then brainstorm about what you can do to expand and intensify them. You’re in a phase of your long-term cycle when you can make a lot of headway toward transforming your job situation so it serves you better. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The next phase of your life will be an excellent time to unbreak your heart. Here’s what I mean by that: You will have extra power to dissolve any pain that still lingers from the romantic disappointments of the past. You’ll be able to summon acute insights into how to dismantle the sodden and unnecessary defenses you built to protect yourself from loss and humiliation. You will find it easier than ever before to forgive and forget any close companion who hurt you. So get out there, Capricorn, and launch the joyful process of restoring your love muscles to their original potency. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years,” read the headline in The Onion. “I always thought that if I kept searching and exploring, I’d discover who I truly was,” the report began, quoting 38-yearold Andrew Speth. “Well, I looked deep into the innermost recesses of my soul, and you know what I found? An empty, windowless room the size of an aircraft hangar. From now on, if anybody needs me, I’ll be sprawled out on my couch drinking blackcherry soda and watching Law & Order like everybody else.” I wonder if Speth is an Aquarius? Many of my Aquarian acquaintances seem to have hit a dead end recently in their quest to fulfill the ancient maxim “Know thyself.” If you’re like that, please hang on. The floodgates of self-discovery will open soon. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Odds are high that you know very little about Africa. Can you name even 20 of its more than 50 countries? Are you aware that its land mass is bigger than Europe, China, and the U.S. combined? Did you realize that about 2,000 languages are spoken by the people living there? I bring this up, Pisces, because from an astrological perspective it’s an excellent time for you to fill the gaps in your education about Africa — or any other subject about which you are deeply uninformed. Don’t get overwhelmed by this assignment, though. Choose maybe three areas of ignorance that you will concentrate on in the coming weeks.

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