NUVO: Indy's Alternative Voice - November 28, 2012

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THIS WEEK

Because Ideas MatterRecommended Readings by the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at Butler University

VOL. 23 ISSUE 37 ISSUE #1081

cover story

The Social Conquest of Earth

This new book by the venerable evolutionary biologist and social thinker is a reflection on the three fundamental questions that have always fascinated thoughtful humans: Where did we come from? What are we? And where are we going? Wilson’s answer to the first two questions is that, like the ants, we are eusocial creatures evolved through the processes, both complementary and paradoxical, of individual and group selection. Only a few times, in the entire history of life, have species with complex social systems evolved. All such species have become dominant in their spheres, and we are the most highly organized and the most dominant of them. Wilson argues that, while natural selection favors individual organisms with “selfish” tendencies, it simultaneously favors groups with large proportions of individuals exhibiting what we call altruism. Such groups tend to win in conflicts with other groups. This implies that hostility between groups has been a factor in the “refinement” of eusociality. The science deployed by Wilson is persuasive. It also seems to connect with issues central to the humanities and social sciences. The twin forces of evolution, for example, could be taken to underlie the perennial conflicts in drama and literature between desire and duty. They also cast interesting light on Freud’s Pleasure Principle and Reality Principle. As for the third question, Wilson’s science, it seems to me, can inform our urgent attempts to answer it, but, ultimately, insofar as it implies any margin for choice, it is not a scientific question. — Larry W. Riggs is professor of French at Butler University.

Go to www.butler.edu/BookReview for more recommendations by the faculty and staff of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at Butler University.

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“WE’VE SUPER-SIZED THE WEATHER”

Edward O. Wilson Norton 2012 Reviewed by Larry W. Riggs

in this issue

NOV. 28 - DEC. 5, 2012

Harmony H O L I D AY

Evangelical Christian Republican broadcast meteorologist Paul Douglas is out of step with his political party and to a lesser extent, his colleagues in meteorology. He acknowledges the reality of climate change — and that people are creating it. He’ll be the keynote speaker at Hoosier Environmental Council’s Greening the Statehouse Forum this Saturday on the campus of UIndy. BY JIM POYSER COVER PHOTO, SUBMITTED

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A&E CLASSIFIEDS COVER STORY FOOD FREE WILL ASTROLOGY HAMMER HOPPE MOVIES MUSIC WEIRD NEWS

Corrections Numerous corrections regarding our Shopping Guide, released last week: • One of our photo subjects was identified incorrectly. The correct spelling is Casondra Smith and her Naptown Roller Girls nickname is Deadie Page. • The correct name of The Best Chocolate in Town is The Best Chocolate in Town (we left the “The” off). We also spelled truffles incorrectly. • We had a mishap with the address for Obidiah’s. The correct addresses are 3429 S. East St. and 4717 W. 34th St. • We had a mishap also with this: the correct information is Leon Tailoring, 809 N. Delaware. St. In our story last week on Beyond Coal’s petition delivery to IPL to encourage the utility to invest money in renewable energy instead of pollution upgrades to its Harding Street planet, we misspelled the name of the NAACP report identifying Harding Street as the source of pollution. The report is called Coal Blooded: Putting Profits Before People. We misspelled Verdant Vera member names in last week’s feature. The correct spellings are Nathan Payne and Brandon Randall. Sorry, VV! Check out page 25.

In our story about turkeys, a reader wrote in and said this: You people need to do a better job of fact checking. Your on-line lead-in to Katy Carter’s article about locally raised turkeys stated: “One good, not at all selfless reason to buy local? Turkeys that dine on grasses and grains on a family farm tend to taste better than steroidal monsters.” C’mon, now. “Steroidal Monsters”?? It’s been illegal in the US to feed steroids or hormones to any poultry since the 1950s. I like locally raised pastured turkeys as much as anyone. I bought two this year. But your sensationalistic lead-in is nothing more than a lie. Get with it. Use Google once in a while and check your facts. — Ish Kibibble Editor’s note: We reached out to Kim Ferraro from Hoosier Environmental Council, who helped us clarify: “Growth hormones are not used in the poultry industry. The birds grow rapidly because they are bred to do so and because chicken feed includes Roxarsone, an antimicrobial drug that promotes growth and contains arsenic compounds.” Thanks, Kim! And sorry, too, for all our mistakes.

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HAMMER Election inspires secessionist fantasies Fare thee well, Texas

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BY STEVE HAMMER SHAMMER@NUVO.NET

fter our most recent democratic elections, in which the president of the United States was fairly re-elected, certain citizens are expressing their disagreement with the results by threatening to leave the United States altogether. Among the states where secessionist fever has taken hold is Texas, where “Secede!” bumper stickers are hot items and politicians are trying to align themselves as being the most eager to leave the United States. I feel their pain. After fraudulent results in 2000 ended with the Supreme Court picking one of the leading intellectuals of Texas, George W. Bush, to be president, I called for Indiana to secede from the United States and start a freedom zone where none of Bush’s policies would be obeyed. Through secession, Indiana could have saved lives that we ended up losing in the great Oil Wars of the early 2000s. Instead, we ended up bearing the burden of the Bush policy of bankrupting the government in favor of tax cuts for the rich. Yes, we suffered mightily during the Era of Bush as we absorbed news of state-sanctioned torture at Abu Ghraib, neglect that caused loss of life during Hurricane Katrina and the mounting death counts of soldiers in the various wars. Indiana made a mistake not seceding from the United States and joining Canada in the 2000s. So I understand the urge that leads Texans to want to leave the United States. Let’s assess the situation from a purely economic point of view. What would happen if Texas left the U.S.? The rest of America would actually see a net positive. The nation would save billions by closing the many military bases in the state and reassigning the personnel elsewhere. Since the rest of the United States would no longer have to protect Texas from a foreign invasion, we can work on making the remaining 49 states safe.

We would also lose the tax revenue from the businesses still located in Texas, which would be a loss. That loss would be more than offset by the stoppage of welfare, Social Security and other benefits devoured by the citizens of the former state of Texas. More than 47 percent of Texans receive some sort of government assistance that will have to be paid by the secessionist government. There would certainly be some unforeseen difficulties arising from the departure of Texas from the United States, but we would get by, perhaps even stronger than before. We would also gain a vacation destination in the independent nation of Texas. Guns would be legal and mandatory, leading to plenty of weekend getaways involving AK-47s and target practice. What the nation of Texas won’t be able to do very much about is the issue of its ethnic minorities, many of whom will not take kindly to the imposition of a fascist military state. Hopefully the local authorities will draw up some sort of plan to quell the inevitable rebellions. What Texans seem to be angriest about, if one takes the secessionist news stories at face value, is what they see as the rejection of fundamental democratic values in the last election: Nothing says “unfair election” more than a freely held vote with opposing candidates offering a clear choice. If losing Texas is the price we have to pay for the re-election of Barack Obama and Joe Biden, well that seems like a relatively minor price to pay for the restoration of economic justice, universal health care and a foreign policy where war is not the instinctive answer. Let’s take one last look at the 2012 election results before passing judgment on Texas. Votes are still being counted in many parts of the country three weeks after the election, so the totals could change slightly, but Obama won almost 64.5 million votes to Romney’s 60.3 million. The percentages shape up this way: Obama 50.8 percent, Romney’s 47.49 percent. That’s up slightly from the election night returns and experts predict Obama’s total to rise slightly as additional absentee and provisional ballots are tabulated. Even given the current totals, it appears that the president won more than 4 million more votes than Romney including Texas and 5 million more without it. So what secessionists in Texas seem to be saying is that democracy is overrated and that the duly elected winner lacks legitimacy. In that case, we don’t need a dictatorship state in our great southwestern region and we should facilitate the exit of Texas from the Union. We should be so lucky to rid ourselves of the nuisance of Texas, a state now known not for its cattle and cowboys but for its extreme political views and its stubborn insistence at being a sore loser because their millionaire venture capitalist candidate lost the presidency. Good riddance.

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HOPPE ‘Tis the season Thanksgiving up north BY DAVID HOPPE DHOPPE@NUVO.NET Editor’s Note: Mr. Hoppe is on vacation this week. This column originally ran in 2009.

W

hen I was a little kid, Christmas won the holiday derby in a walk. Let me count the ways: There was snow, lights and colorful decorations, time off from school and (drum roll) presents. Almost as good as the presents themselves was the arrival every fall of the Montgomery Ward catalog. That thing was thick as a big city phonebook, with every page in living color. The kids in my neighborhood pored over it, folding pages and circling items, making mental notes and dropping hints. Arriving in the mail as it did at just about the same time that darkness started falling at the unnatural hour of 4:30 in the afternoon, the Montgomery Ward catalog was, for a few weeks, at least, a hedge against what we later learned to call Seasonal Affective Disorder. I’m still nuts about Christmas. But, over the years, I think I’ve come to love Thanksgiving even more. I finally realized that last week. We celebrated the annual feast up in Michigan City. As fate would have it, my

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wife’s folks and my own happen to live up there. The past couple of years haven’t been easy for either set of parents. Health issues have made it increasingly difficult for one or another of them to get around. To tell you the truth, it’s a gift that both couples are still with us. On the other side of the spectrum, our son lives in Chicago, where he’s been lucky enough to find a job. He has to work a lot of nights, and there’s not much left in his wallet after he pays his share of the rent. But in an economy where roughly one out of every five young men between the ages of 25 and 34 is unemployed and a third of young workers in that age group are living at home, we’re proud he’s holding his own. Anyway, thanks to public transportation — the Chicago South Shore railroad, the last interurban train in Indiana — our son and Amy, his partner, were able to finish work Wednesday and be in Michigan City before dark. Meanwhile, my wife and I picked up a fresh turkey at Goose the Market, packed up the dog along with the fixings for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner and headed north on Highway 421. We’ve made this trip more times than either of us can count. At this time of year, the fields have been cut down to scrub and the trees are bare. You realize more than ever how big a part the sky plays in a Midwesterner’s sense of place. Whether it’s low and stormy or high blue, it’s a show that never quite repeats itself and never, ever, rests. We did the cooking at my in-laws’.

news // 11.28.12-12.05.12 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

Everybody that could chipped in. I know it’s fashionable at this point in a holiday story to crank out a bit of snark about a cross-dressing cousin, glue-sniffing uncle, or munitions-dealing brother-in-law; some grotesquerie to help rationalize our unwillingness or inability to find comfort in anything that might be called traditional. Sorry, but that’s not the way it was. At least not this year. The fact is, we did a pretty good job of taking care of each other. The turkey was moist, the stuffing was amazing, the mashed potatoes had a whiff of rosemary and, as usual, there were way too many sweet potatoes — which was just fine. We dimmed the lights in the dining room and the grandfathers trailed off to nap to the white noise of a football game. Light from the kitchen washed over the faces of the grandmothers, who pulled up chairs in the doorway to watch as their young ones cleaned up. The next morning there were leftovers to pack, a train to catch. The sun finally came out. My wife heard that the sandhill cranes were making their annual migration from Canada and the upper Great Lakes states. Each year at this time, from late September into December, thousands of these birds stop in the Jasper-Pulaski Fish and Wildlife Area before going on to parts of Florida. Since we were passing the refuge on our way home, she suggested we stop and have a look. The sun was setting when we got there. We heard the cranes before we saw them — a great, raucous, choogling sound. The

Sandhill cranes are not on the menu, but have enriched the Hoppe Thanksgiving nonetheless.

birds themselves are formidable — they stand over 4 feet high and their wingspans can be as much as 6 feet across. There were thousands of them gathered on a green, marshy pitch, with hundreds more arriving in flocks from all directions. The birds gather twice a day, at dawn and again at sunset, to call back and forth and to dance with one another. They flap their wings and jump up and down. This may be a form of courtship, but apparently there’s also a chance they do it simply because it feels good, it’s a bonding experience and, yes, it gives them joy. And they do it at Thanksgiving.



GADFLY

by Wayne Bertsch

HAIKU NEWS by Jim Poyser

greenhouse gases hit record high no better proof Apocalypse nigh meanwhile, Thanksgiving focused on eating of meat, farting of methane meanwhile, Black Friday was a paroxysm of consumerism holiday travel creates pollution, carbon emissions, mis’ry 1200 new coal plants are planned for the planet nails in the coffin even the World Bank knows we’ve overdrawn on our nat’ral resources 200 billion tons of ice shed by Greenland each year; that’s not nice! Doha, Qatar is site of most recent attempt to waste precious time December twenty first is our last chance to say yes to planet earth what will it take for us to change — other than a world revolution

GET ME ALL TWITTERED!

Follow @jimpoyser on Twitter for more Haiku News.

THUMBSUP THUMBSDOWN POETRY THAT PAYS

Calling all poets: It’s not too late to get in on a slam poetry competition hosted this weekend by the Malcolm X Institute of Black Studies at Wabash College in Crawfordsville. The slam will kick off at 9 p.m. on Saturday. At least one starving artist will leave with some serious bread: The grand prize is $1,000. Email Tyler Griffin at tdgriffi13@wabash.edu for an entry form and a copy of the rules. One more tip from the poetry beat: A new anthology of modern poetry featuring work from around the country includes several Indy-based writers. A book launch for 2012 Reckless Writing: The Modernization of Poetry by Emerging Writers of the 21st Century is set for 2 p.m. Dec. 8 at Indy Reads Bookstore. Expect live readings from many of the featured poets. Can you dig?

RESTRICTING RIGHTS

In advancing a state constitutional amendment ignoring the biological fact that some people are gay and the social fact that many gay people choose to make lifelong commitments to each other, state legislators may be doing more than just making it difficult for our corporations to recruit top talent to Indiana. A new report by Indiana Equality and students from the Indiana University Maurer School of Law outlines more than 600 state laws pertaining to the rights and responsibilities of married couples. In short, the report underscores the myriad ways the proposed amendment, if approved by voters, could codify discrimination against same-sex couples. Perhaps the GOP can author a position paper to help us enlighten us: “Economic Development Through Regressive, Discriminatory Social Policy.”

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

In honor of International Human Rights Day coming up on Dec. 10, consider absorbing a lecture by Professor Fran Quigley on “How Human Rights Can Save Haiti...And Other Developing Countries Too.” Quigley (who once served as NUVO news editor and continues to contribute to the paper) has longstanding involvement with a grassroots project to counter generations of lawlessness and social upheaval in the Western Hemisphere’s poorest country — where more than 70 percent of the population lives in poverty. The lecture is set for 4:30 p.m. Nov. 29 at IUPUI’s Wynne Courtroom and Conour Atrium, 530 W. New York St. A reception will follow.

THOUGHT BITE By Andy Jacobs Jr. Wanted: Better public memory. TV is ablaze with praise for shale oil. It was a boondoggle and, in the end, a scandal of the Reagan Administration.

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WE VE SUPER-SIZED OUR WEATHER

Republican and evangelical Christian broadcast meteorologist PAUL DOUGLAS is on a mission to communicate urgency of climate change BY JIM POYSER JPOYSER@NUVO.NET

P

Paul Douglas is running against the mainstream grain in two significant ways. One, he is Republican and acknowledges the reality of human-caused climate change. Republicans tend not to agree with the science, despite the overwhelming — 97 percent — consensus among climatologists that human-created emissions are warming the planet, causing climate change — and triggering extreme weather. For example, a Bloomberg national poll, released in early October, said that while “78 percent of Democrats and 56 percent of independents believe humans are warming the earth … almost two out of three Republicans don’t.” The second way the Minneapolis-based Douglas is running against the grain is that he’s a broadcast meteorologist, and the majority of people in his profession don’t necessarily acknowledge the level at which humans are causing climate change. According to a 2011 report by the George Mason University Center for Climate Change Communication, only 53 percent of broadcast meteorologists said that human influence plays an important role in climate change — with 34 percent saying climate change is a result of human and natural causes, and only 19 percent saying it is mostly human-caused [See AMS sidebar - pg. 14]. Douglas would place himself in the latter category, the 19 percent-ers, adding that he believes “human activities, the burning of fossil fuels and a 40% spike in greenhouse gases are having an impact on warming the atmosphere and the oceans —where 90% of the warming has gone in the last 4 decades.”

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cover story // 11.28.12-12.05.12 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Paul Douglas is keynote speaker at Hoosier Environmental Council’s event on Saturday.

CONNECTING THE DOTS Every day, we get better at connecting the dots of climate change and extreme weather. As NASA’s James Hansen said in August: “The deadly European heat wave of 2003, the fiery Russian heat wave of 2010 and catastrophic droughts in Texas and Oklahoma last year can each be attributed to climate change.” The 2012 drought that hit Indiana will very likely be connected to climate change as well, but scientists, who are conservative by nature, are still totaling up their data. Who better than your local, trusted weathercaster to walk you through how climate change influences weather? Lo and behold Paul Douglas. Early this year, I discovered a blog wherein he argued that Republicans were wrongheaded to ignore climate change. Here’s a sample quote from this blog “… some in my party believe the EPA and all those silly ‘global warming alarmists’ are going to get in the way of drilling and mining our way to prosperity. Well, we have good reason to be alarmed.” Later in the year, he wrote a direct message to Mitt Romney via Huffington Post, exhorting the Republican presidential candidate to acknowledge the reality of climate change, and impress upon his party the severity of our current predicament. In it, Douglas said “If Mitt Romney is genuine about his promise to ‘help you and your family,’ he needs to acknowledge this, and work for a solution that will solve both the economic and the climate crisis.”

His contrarian, clarifying view of climate change, along with his ability to educate viewers through his work as a broadcast meteorologist, including his recently founded Weather Nation channel [see sidebar], caught the eye of the Hoosier Environmental Council, who invited Douglas to be their keynote speaking for their fifth annual Greening the Statehouse Forum [see infobox]. We began our phone conversation a few weeks ago by me asking Douglas what got him interested in weather in the first place. PAUL DOUGLAS: I've been fascinated with weather from a young age. Tropical Storm Agnes flooded out my house in Lancaster, Pa., back in '72. I was a wide-eyed, 14-yearold Boy Scout. I had just taken a weather merit badge, and I was just traumatized … [by] the weather. Many TV meteorologists were traumatized by something as kids — a tornado, a flood, a hurricane, lightning: Something put the fear of God in them. No one in their right mind, I think, sets out to be a television meteorologist. But I just fell in love with weather at the age of about 14, went to Penn State and got a degree in meteorology. ... NUVO: When did you begin to take note of climate change? DOUGLAS:All of us have different thresholds for when you acknowledge the science. For me it was when James Hansen went before Congress in 1988. I thought he was jumping the gun. I didn't see it. But after


living the weather … and that's what any meteorologist does: you live the weather … I just noticed in the mid and late '90s that something had changed. NUVO: How so?

Paul Douglas Top 10 Suggestions for Communicating Climate Science 1). STICK TO THE SCIENCE; peer-reviewed climate science. Avoid policy discussions with anchors. 2). KEEP IT CURRENT. Viewers have become conditioned to expect breaking news. If there isn't a major storm bearing down, consider a 15- to 30-second update on climate headlines. Sign up for (free) Google Alerts for climate change and global warming will keep a steady stream of timely articles coming to you every day. Which ones strike a nerve and might be interesting/relevant for your viewers? 3). BRING IT HOME. Changes in the Arctic may not resonate with viewers. What does it mean for me and my family? Show how polar amplification may be slowing weather patterns, making droughts drier and storms even wetter. How will this impact rising sea levels and possible water shortages? There are always effective ways to personalize and localize the science. 4). COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR NEWS DIRECTOR. Local stations are licensed by the FCC to serve the public interest. That means holding up a mirror to your community and showing the changes taking place, and how climate change may impact your market in the years to come. Remind your managers that you have an obligation, as meteorologists, to communicate the science. 5). YOUR LOCAL CLIMATE OFFICE IS A GOLD MINE OF DATA. All TV meteorologists want to go beyond the seven-day (forecast) to provide analysis, context and perspective. Tap data (and graphics) from your local climate office to show how extreme rainfall events are increasing, winter nights are trending warmer, with longer growing seasons for farmers. 6). TEASE ON-AIR, DRILL INTO DETAILS ON-LINE. We know you don't have enough time to explain all the science during your regular TV weathercast. But you can share a couple of headlines and then point viewers to your website for more details. Jim Gandy, Dan Satterfield and Mike Nelson have done a good job of explaining the science on-line and helping to build an audience in the process. On my Star Tribune blog I mix meteorology with climate science and articles that catch my eye, addressing questions, comments and criticisms. On our new national weather channel, we include brief climate science headlines with longer three-minute segments focused on the trends. This is a chance to show your scientific credentials and push back against misinformation. 7). LOOK FOR LOCAL HOOKS. How are farmers, fishermen, hunters, gardeners, insurance agents and other people who spend extended time outdoors personally experiencing climate change. A 20-second sound bite and one simple graphic can tell the story; again — directing viewers to your station's website for more detail. 8). WEATHER IS NOT CLIMATE. It’s tempting to look out the window and make global assumptions. Using NOAA, NCDC and NASA tools, you can help viewers keep a global perspective, using temperature anomaly maps to explain the trends. 9). DIG INTO THE SCIENCE. THE DEBATE IS OVER. This is more than a “natural cycle.” What we’re seeing, worldwide, was predicted 30 years ago, and changes are accelerating even faster than predicted. Remind viewers not to rely on dubious blog links or talk radio to get their science. It should come from you, and the only way to make it accurate and timely is to spend the time and get up to speed on peer-reviewed climate science yourself. Become the local climate expert. It will only add to your credibility and the trust and equity you’ve built up in your market. 10). TAKE ADVANTAGE OF RESOURCES. NOAA and NASA have comprehensive resources. Consider the George Mason University Center for Climate Change Communication and the Global Climate Change Impacts in the U.S., United States Global Change Research Program to get started. There is no ambiguity or confusion on the part of the AMS about the state of climate science. We have an obligation to accurately communicate (all) science, including longer term climate trends. — Paul Douglas, founder, senior meteorologist, WeatherNation TV

DOUGLAS: It was no longer my grandfather's weather. The rain was falling with greater ferocity. We were seeing more extremes with greater frequency and greater intensity than I had ever witnessed in my career. So I started digging into the peer-reviewed science and basically came to the conclusion that climate scientists were probably right, that there's just too much evidence. I come from a long line of foresters in Germany. My grandfather, my great-grandfather, my great-great-grandfather were all state foresters in Germany. Maybe it's in my scouting career. I don't take the environment for granted. We are a part of nature. I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says that we're supposed to dominate nature. The book of Luke says, “We are stewards and we will be accountable for our steward-

try to dig into policy implications. If you're reporting on the science, and it's peerreviewed science that you can back up.” Every day I would get scores of emails like, “Flaming liberal. You crazy crackpot. Why are you buying into this Al Gore conspiracy? You're going to cripple our economy.” It is the equivalent of sticking your finger in the electrical socket. Most of us are conditioned to avoid pain, to avoid controversy. Everybody on television wants to be loved and your contract — whether you're renewed — really depends on your ability to attract an audience. Just by reporting on this you know that you're alienating people with a certain ideology. This science, as strong as it is, is toxic to a lot of these people who just can't or won't accept peer-reviewed science because it does not fit in with their worldview. My entire life I've voted Republican and I'm a moderate Republican, which is kind of an oxymoron these days, but I've been very moderate in my beliefs. I'm fiscally conservative, socially liberal. It was amazing to me, the feedback. NUVO: Yet you persisted.

… there is no debate about climate change in Europe or China. — Paul Douglas, meteorologist

ship.” I take that seriously. When I talk to my friends on both sides of the aisle politically I say, “We're accountable. You should care about this. If you care about your kids and your grandkids, as our parents cared for us, this is not only a scientific issue, it's a moral issue and an ethical issue.” There is something fundamentally immoral about kicking the can down the road and saying, “Well, not enough data and maybe it's real but our kids and our grandkids can clean up our mess.” Our kids are going to be pissed and I want to be able to look my kids in the eye and say, “You know what? Your old man did everything that he could to beat the drum and to let others know that this is real.” We ignore the science at our long-term peril. People say, “Ah, you're an alarmist, you're a warmist.” I say, “You know, the trends are alarming and I'm reporting on the trends. You either stick your head in the sand or you can acknowledge the science.” NUVO: When did you begin to actually talk about climate change as part of your job as a broadcast meteorologist? DOUGLAS: In the late '90s I began including it in my weather statements. NUVO: Was anybody else doing it at that time? DOUGLAS: No, no. The pervasive feeling at the time was that … if you even mention the term global warming or climate change you will instantly alienate 30 percent of your audience and they will tune out. So, you know, it's kryptonite. My news directors at WCCO [the CBS affiliate in Minneapolis where Douglas worked until 2008] said, “As long as you focus on the science and don't

DOUGLAS: I persisted and I continue to persist because the subject is too important. I thought it was ludicrous that this was somehow a litmus test for conservatism. I remind my Republican friends that Teddy Roosevelt, staunch Republican, founded the National Parks Service. Richard Nixon, say what you will about Dick Nixon, and I'm not a huge Nixon fan, but he started the EPA. There is a history of environmental respect, respect for the environment. “I'm proud of having been one of the first to recognize that state and national government have a duty to protect our natural resources from the damaging effects of pollution that can accompany industrial development.” You know who said that? NUVO: Teddy Roosevelt? DOUGLAS: Ronald Reagan. July 19, 1984. Somewhere along the way the Republican Party became totally beholden to fossil fuel interests. I'm not saying we don't take advantage of our natural resources. The message I'm trying to get out is that by fixating exclusively on fossil fuels, not only are we endangering future generations, we are endangering our competitiveness down the road. Because there is no debate about climate change in Europe or China. They are moving forward with clean alternatives to creating energy. If we totally focus on mining and drilling and extracting every last bit of carbon at the exclusion of solar and wind and geothermal and battery technology and everything else that's out there, we are going to be crippled as a country competitively. The point I'm trying to make as a jobs creator is that this is a chance to reinvent and retool America, wean ourselves off foreign oil. Mitigating climate change is going to require a level of innovation and reinvention that will propel us to a new competitive paradigm. By focusing on carbon neutral ways of generating energy and growing our GDP, we will take American exceptionalism on the world stage to a new level. NUVO: I like to think we're at a turning point: the thirst for knowledge about what is happening to the climate is growing. DOUGLAS: It's ironic that extreme weather has

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accomplished what the climate scientists up until now could not. And that is convince a majority of logical, God-fearing Americans that something has changed. [According to a Yale University poll], four out of five people last year were personally impacted by extreme weather. … One out of three were physically injured by severe weather last year. This weather-on-steroids environment is getting people to wake up. I keep telling people that trillions of dollars are in play. Fossil fuel companies are scared to death that they're going to be regulated out of existence or that there will be regulations that they can't drill and mine, and that will affect their share price, their stock price, and their ultimate company value.

cally or otherwise. The naïve optimist in me believes that this will be corrected over time. Yet the amount of money in play right now is staggering and I do worry about what that means for representative democracy. It's too easy to listen to Rush Limbaugh on the radio or to look at a blog post someone emailed you. People need to educate themselves and not rely on what Uncle Joe says at the dinner table. There's so much information available online, but you need to be looking at peer-reviewed science. Not somebody's opinion in a blog post. Not what you heard on the local bloviating talk show in town. The data is the data and people need to be seeking out science. Not opinion.

NUVO: They've already made such an investment in those areas, coal and oil, so letting it lay there doesn't seem like a good business decision.

NUVO: Finally, what about Sandy?

DOUGLAS: Exactly. Did you read Bill McKibben's article in Rolling Stone? If we burn all of the remaining carbon reserves it's going to be a brand new planet. I give people a metaphor … that Mother Nature has picked up the DVR and put our weather on fast forward and turned the volume of extreme weather up to an 11. I mean of course the weather is extreme. The weather has always been extreme but it's coming with greater velocity and greater intensity. More noise, more fury and more trauma. This is what you get when you warm up the atmosphere even a couple of degrees. You load the dice in favor of more of these extreme rains. NUVO: Are Republicans listening to you? DOUGLAS: No. No. Frankly, to some degree I've been, not ostracized, but I think ignored. I'm OK with that. I'm going to keep speaking out, because this is too important. What I am finding is that younger people, younger conservatives, younger evangelicals are listening. They respond to data. That's one of the first things that I say when I go out and talk. I ask people, “Do you have an open mind? Or is your mind made up and you're going to cherry-pick data to support your ideological beliefs?” I find that for most people under the age of 35, this is an issue that they really feel will impact their lives and their kids’ lives. They are paying attention. That's why I can't understand why neither Mitt Romney or Barack Obama has really addressed this in the debates. I don't understand it because I think a lot of independents, a lot of people who have not made up their mind could be swayed if one of them came out and said, “Yeah, this is real and we need to address this.” The essence of the word conservative is conserve. We've gone off track in the Republican Party by ignoring that. We are a part of nature and this meme that we are here to dominate nature — I don't know where that comes from. I don't recognize that strain of conservatism. I mentioned this in my Huffington Post article. Bill O'Reilly has his “No Spin Zone” and yet

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many in my party have been spinning the science, denying the science. I just don't understand it. I don't get it. NUVO: What do you visualize the world being like, 20 years from now? DOUGLAS: I think it's going to be a lot different than it is now. There's a significant amount of warming going on in the pipeline. Even if we could somehow magically bring our greenhouse emissions down to zero, I think there's little doubt that we're going to warm at least a degree, maybe a degree and a half. I see no evidence really that we're going to take the steps necessary to mitigate greenhouse gases. I think there's going to be a huge push toward adaption. How do we survive and thrive in this warmer, drier, stormier new world? That means everything from new drought resistant crops that can weather the extremes that I know we're going to see.

Climate scientists say that this is just the tip of the iceberg. This is just the beginning from what we're seeing. Everything from huge impacts on agriculture to trying to mitigate sea-level rise and levies and storm walls. As a businessman it's a threat and it's an opportunity and this may be one way to reach some conservatives. If you tell them, “Hey, by being obstinate, by denying the science, you are leaving money on the table. You are overlooking an incredible investment opportunity.” I tell my conservative friends that in the Pentagon, insurance circles, there is no debate about the science. If you ignore this, it's going to show up in your portfolio. You will shoot yourself in the foot with your investments. You have to stay up on the science, you have to listen to new data, otherwise you're going to watch your portfolio shrink. Is that what you want? I'm trying a couple of different ways to appeal to people who have that conservative mindset. It's OK to be conservative and still acknowledge the science and to recognize something that Jesus taught: Actions have consequences. You can't release 90 trillion tons of greenhouse gases in 50 years — according to the Department of Energy, 90 trillion hot air balloons of man-made pollution — and pretend that that's not going to have any impact. … Sometimes I wonder, you know, now, is is our country ready for a third party? y? AA green green party or … I don't know.

DOUGLAS: Although you can’t prove direct causation with Sandy, in my humble opinion — and that of most of the climate scientists I know — it’s a case of systematic causation. We’ve loaded dice in favor of more extreme storms, heat waves and drought. We’ve super-sized our weather … the timing, scale and scope of the storm were extraordinary – like nothing I’ve ever witnessed, a hybrid of hurricane and Nor’easter that is not very well understood. Sandy was made worse by unusually warm ocean water in the Gulf Stream, and the record melting of polar ice in September may be creating a blocking pattern in the upper atmosphere that favors major storms, especially for the eastern third of the USA – a trend in recent winters. It would have been a major storm without a hurricane in the core, but the combination of Nor’easter — powered by temperature extremes — and a hurricane — powered by warm ocean water — created a meteorological bomb that impacted a huge swath of coastline. Again, fairly unprecedented, historically. And the fact that Sandy impacted a densely populated region of the USA meant more people affected, and brought additional media attention. Weather has always been severe, but now a warmer climate is flavoring ALL weather. The frequency and intensity of extreme weather events is on the rise, and Sandy was just the most recent and visible manifestation of this trend across North America — which is home to the most weather extremes in the last 30 years, a quintupling of weather disasters, according to an October report from Munich Re.

NUVO: How about the common sense sense s party? DOUGLAS: I think you're right. I stilll think think most Americans are somewhere in n the middle of the bell curve. Most Americans ericans are fairly moderate. And yet our system ystem m has has ha been hijacked by extremists at both h ends ends of the political spectrum. It just makes akes me me nuts that Washington does not reflect lectt what's what's wh happening outside of the Beltway, scientifi-

“We’re accountable. You should care about this. If you care about ab bout your kids and your grandkids, as our parents cared for us, thissis isnot not only a scientific issue, it’s a moral issue and an ethical issue.” .” — Paul Douglas, meteorologist

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INDY S BROADCAST METEOROLOGISTS:

WHAT DO THEY SAY ?

W

What do our local broadcast meteorologists think about the role of the weathercaster in educating the public about climate change? We tried to find out, with mixed success. Out of about a dozen local broadcast meteorologists contacted via email — not once but twice per person — we received the following replies:

CHRIS WRIGHT WTHR:

JIM O BRIEN WXIN:

Global warming and climate change are very important issues to the future of our world. It is a primary responsibility of broadcast meteorologists to address and educate the public on how our climate is changing and we can all play a part in changing the continued warming of our atmosphere.

Let me first state that I’m a meteorologist not a climatologist… my “expertise” is limited, as there is a difference! With that said, over my 16 year career, I have read many articles on the subject of “global warming.” In short, I do believe that man has created harmful toxins over the past centuries that have set in motion some changes to our Mother Earth. But I also believe that this planet is a living, breathing body much like the human body. And can heal when injured or wounded in time, as we find cleaner solutions! Does this attribute to global warming? I’m hesitant to believe that…What I truly believe is that we do not have enough evidence to prove the theory that global warming is happening right now! My belief is that we are running in a warm cycle, creating global warmth that could gradually shift back into a neutral or cooler period in the decades ahead. But I’m also the guy with the glass half full! Am I concerned? Of course…Can it change? Yes.

STEVE BRAY WISH:

The shame of this issue is that it has become more wrapped in politics than science. While the majority of scientist[s] believe that the temperatures have warmed there is less common ground on human activity as the cause. The political extremes have created a polarized atmosphere that we have to navigate as weather journalists. Therefore for us to state our views on this issue would not be in the best interest of serving all of our viewers. We have in the past done some excellent stories on both sides of this issue and plan to continue to in the future.

KEVIN GREGORY WRTV: I was aware of the AMS statement on climate change. During my weathercasts, I provide context for the weather we are experiencing. Just in my time here at RTV6, we have experienced the coldest morning ever, the most rain ever in 24 hours in Indy, the only summer without a single 90-degree day, the most tornadoes in a single year and one of the driest stretches ever. Each of these weather events helps shape our climate averages. Averages are based on a 30-year period. For example, since the Blizzard of ’78 is no longer within the 30-year period, our annual snowfall average has actually gone down. You know how politicians say all politics is local. I would argue all weather is local.

YOUNG-HEE YEDINAK

COMMUNITY AFFAIRS SENIOR PRODUCER, WTHR: Your request has been forwarded to me because I handle all the public appearances and speaking engagements of our anchors. Thank you for your email. After reviewing your request, our News Director KEITH CONNORS had this to say: "At WTHR we don't routinely comment on climate change in our weathercasts. Like the rest [of] our journalists, our weather team is objective and neutral. They focus on facts and forecasting. We don't share our personal opinions or allow editorial comments in our newscasts." Editor’s note: Thanks to NUVO science freelancer Alex Miller for his help in reaching out to these local broadcast meteorologists.

TOM COCHRUN Here’s a perspective from Tom Cochrun, former senior news anchor for WTHR and former News Director of WISH TV. Cochrun is a national Emmywinning documentary producer, veteran broadcaster, novelist, travel writer and lecturer. He is a Distinguished Alumni at Ball State, where he majored in political science and sociology. In January 2007, he and his wife Lana moved to the Central Coast of California. I now measure by perspective of a West Coast view. When I was in Indianapolis, I saw research that indicated Indianapolis television viewership was likely the most habitual in the US. Being out here for almost 6 years I have lost sight of how tightly constrained Indianapolis thinking can too often be. "New" and "change" can be threatening to some. Challenge can cause emotional or philosophical heartburn. However, this matter of climate change is an obvious and apparent phenomena The change is undeniable, though there is still honest discussion about the balance of natural and human driven influence. That leads of course to politics and other forms of trying to avoid change, blame or a proactive response. So out of this milieu comes a "super sensitivity," especially when in companionship with trying to appeal to the largest number of viewers. The "political extremes and polarized atmosphere" that Steve [Bray] speaks of is more of a reality in some places than others. Indianapolis and Indiana, of course, are certainly more "polarized" on climate change than where I live. Here, even political conservatives subscribe to the reality of the change, though they haggle about what to do about it, not wanting to create another government program or "cede freedom" in trying to find the fix. There, in Indiana, the views are less open, the polarity more pronounced and if you are in the business of trying to reach a mass audience, it would be a "safe" course to simply avoid the controversy. I don't think that is wise or proper, however. Avoiding the story is not a good option. It should not be the role of the journalist to provide his or her opinion, either proactively or by the absence of content. What is needed in factual reporting. At the very least a "neutral" path of reporting would be the attempt to determine what influence humans have, why and how and to what extent. Another

NUVO S GUIDE TO WHAT YOU CAN DO: You can find your favorite weathercaster’s email on his/her station website. Email. Make it personal. Tell them you are hungry to learn more about climate change, and sometimes, a weather report is the perfect teaching moment. Be kind. Be respectful. Follow up if you don’t hear back. If you see, subsequently, your weathercaster present some info about climate change, follow up with an email and thank him or her for it. EARTH GAUGE: earthgauge.net FORECAST THE FACTS: forecastthefacts.org

would be the longitudinal data on ocean temperatures, activity of polar ice, glacial changes, levels of CO2, shifts in insect and animal migrations and patterns and etc. A look at alternative technologies and energy would be another worthwhile field of regular reporting. On balance, while some are slow to accept what science tells us, there are also large and vested interests who have undertaken to do what they can to discredit and dispute. The oil & gas and transportation industries are indeed powerful and operate by a bottom line. Profit is the purpose of the day. Growing and protecting profit is the modus operandi. Anything else is an obstacle. Public knowledge could be threatening to business as normal. As we have become a nation of mass consumers, dependent on rapid gratification, more concerned with being entertained than being informed we have been very late to the cause. We are lazy about paying attention. Warnings have been raised. The data has been amassing, but too few people are paying attention. Those who are aware are being fed conflicting information. Powerful interests have found allies in some political corners, so regulations and changes are not forthcoming and there is contention about the seriousness of the threat. Ed Murrow said in 1958 at the RTNDA (Radio Television News Directors Association) Chicago convention Keynote address about television: This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and even it can inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it's nothing but wires and lights in a box. There is a great and perhaps decisive battle to be fought against ignorance, intolerance and indifference. This weapon of television could be useful. I used that as my navigating star when I worked in television. I wish everyone did.

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THE AMS STATEMENT

SERVING THE PUBLIC INTEREST?

In October, I wrote to Keith L. Seitter, executive director of the American Meteorological Society, to better understand the circumstances surrounding the release of the organization’s statement on climate change, and the role of humans in its creation. NUVO: Are all meteorologists members of AMS? KEITH L. SEITTER: Most, but not all, broadcast meteorologists are AMS members … certainly more than half. NUVO: What was the process by which you arrived at this statement, “There is unequivocal evidence that Earth’s lower atmosphere, ocean, and land surface are warming; sea level is rising; and snow cover, mountain glaciers, and Arctic sea ice are shrinking. The dominant cause of the warming since the 1950s is human activities.” SEITTER: All AMS statements go through a very lengthy and deliberative process before they are approved by the AMS Council, which is the elected governance of the AMS. This particular statement was in preparation for over a year. A team of scientific experts who volunteered for this effort helped draft the statement, and it went through several levels of scientific review, including a 30-day comment period in which all AMS members could provide comments that were considered by the drafting team and the AMS Council prior to the final approval of the text. The statement represents a summary of the current peer-reviewed literature on climate change, and the quote you have above is consistent with, and supported by, that literature. The position in the AMS statement prior to this one, which had been approved in 2007, was similar in many ways, though perhaps not quite as strongly stated. You can see the text of the 2007 statement in the archive of expired statements the AMS maintains on its website at: ametsoc.org/ policy/2007climatechange.html Editor’s note: The current statement is here: ametsoc.org/policy/2012climatechange.html NUVO: What are your expectations regarding AMS members responding to this statement? SEITTER: The statement represents the official position of the society and is provided as a service to AMS members as well as the general public and policy makers. No response from members is required in any way. NUVO: According to a 2011 report by the George Mason University Center for Climate Change Communication, only 19 percent

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of broadcast meteorologists surveyed said climate is changing due to “mostly human causes.” Do you have any ideas, surmises or theories on why that’s the case? SEITTER: I think it is also important to note that a total of 53 percent of the broadcast meteorologists felt that human influence played an important role in climate change, with 19 percent saying it was mostly human and 34 percent saying it was roughly equal between human and natural causes. Surveys of the complete meteorological community have shown a much higher percentage of respondents saying that recent climate change, especially in the past 50 years, is mostly a result of human influence. That is especially true of meteorologists who are active researchers. NUVO: What tools exist to help broadcast meteorologists incorporate climate change science into their broadcasts? SEITTER: Besides Earth Gauge, there are a number of resources created by organizations other than the AMS that are targeted at the broadcast meteorology community. These include the University Corporation for Atmospheric Research’s COMET program, the Yale Project on Climate Change Communication, some initiatives by George Mason University and several others. The AMS Committee on the Station Scientist provides additional resources across a spectrum of science topics for the broadcast meteorology community. CLIMATE CHANGE A TURNOFF Paul Douglas is a member of the AMS and attended the convention. He likes that there’s “no ambiguity” regarding the statement, and believes that “most television meteorologists would like to do more reporting on this. But I’ve talked to a lot of these [meteorologists], we had a meeting a couple of weeks ago and, to a person, they all raised their hand and said, ‘Yeah I’d love to report on this, but my news director doesn’t want me to.’ ” Douglas says that television news directors believe that talking about climate change is “a turnoff and that it will alienate some percentage of the audience.” Television stations, Douglas reminds us, “get spectrum (the part of the radio frequency spectrum used for broadcasting) for free in this country. They don’t pay anything for the spectrum to be able to broadcast their signal, and yet they are supposed to serve the public interest. The only way that they can keep their license is by serving the public interest according to the FCC. “So by ignoring this topic,” he adds, “are they really serving their audience? By ignoring the science, by looking the other way ... I don’t know. I think a case could be made that they are not serving the public interest.” — JIM POYSER


go&do

For comprehensive event listings, go to nuvo.net/calendar

02

SUNDAY

Miracle on 54th Street

STARTS 29 THURSDAY

STARTS 30 FRIDAY

A Very Phoenix Xmas 7 @ Phoenix Theatre New to this year’s edition of the Phoenix Theatre’s holiday variety show, A Very Phoenix Xmas, is The Fourth Wall, a hybrid performing arts trio that combines dance, theater and music by, for instance, knocking out a not-so-easy contemporary classical piece while tap dancing. New sketches by Donna Latham, Hank Kimmel, Ron Burch and Suzanne Bailie will join a few old favorites; the cast includes Charles Goad, Scot Greenwell and Rob Johansen; and Bryan Fonseca will, as usual, direct, with Kevin D. Smith as musical director. Of last year’s edition, Katelyn Coyne said, “The beauty of Phoenix’s holiday show is its ability to seem both familiar and strange year after year. The show presents a multidenominational rumination on various celebrations - Pagan, Christian, Jewish, etc. - with a mixed bag of skits touching on topics such as Santa’s elves (now on strike), the economy of Christmas, dancing sock-monkey dolls, interfaith families and a horny reindeer.” Nov. 29-Dec. 23; $18 opening weekend, $28 adults and $18 ages 21 and under thereafter; phoenixtheatre.org

STARTS 29 THURSDAY

STARTS 30 FRIDAY

Duke Energy Yuletide Celebration @ Hilbert Circle Theatre Opera star (and Indy native) Angela Brown and Broadway actor Ben Crawford are the hosts of this year’s Yuletide Celebration, which will feature new arrangements of holiday classics (including “Good King Wenceslas,” as performed by Concertmaster Zach de Pue), a sort-of live radio play re-enactment featuring the ISO’s librarian on harmonica and sound effects, as well as old favorites like Cirque de la Symphonie and the Tap Dancing Santas. Plus: live reindeer, Wurlizter organ music, The Grinch (Nov. 30-Dec. 9) and hot wassail.

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If nothing else, The Nutcracker is a valuable chance for enterprising young dancers to strut their stuff. Butler Ballet’s performances of the old chestnut will feature 34 young dancers from the Indy area getting a chance to play angels, tiny mice, girls and boys at the party, and so on, as well as a bumper crop of Butler students alternating in the main roles of the Sugar Plum Fairy, Nutcracker and Snow King and Queen. Nov. 29-Dec. 2, $21.50-28.50 adults (discounts available), butler.edu

onnuvo.net

Stop Kiss @ UIndy Studio Theatre

Nov. 30-Dec. 23, prices vary (“Super Saver” discounts available), indianapolissymphony.org

Butler Ballet’s The Nutcracker @ Clowes Memorial Hall

There are a ton of quality merchants at the intersection of 54th Street and College Avenue, including, but not limited to, Be – The Boutique, The Jazz Kitchen, Moe and Johnny’s, Twenty Tap and Yats. And a good deal of them will open their doors Sunday for a celebration in support of the Toys for Tots campaign, which supports more than 27,000 children locally and reaches more than 7 million children nationwide. Bring an unwrapped toy, then stay for food and drink tastings, fun, games and the like. 2-7 p.m.

FRIDAY

SoBro Arts Studio Tour and Bad Dog Bash Those artists — they migrate wherever there’s free space, a critical mass of like minds and, preferably, several bars within walking distance. SoBro certainly fits those needs, and those artists who have moved into a mixed-use business center on East 54th Street (between Keystone Avenue and the Monon Trail) would like to show you what they’ve been up to in their semi-new digs. A Friday night open houses will includes stops

BLOGS

Sometimes things don’t quite “get better,” or certainly not before they get much worse. Take the situation played out in the 1998 drama Stop Kiss, when two young women in New York City find their budding romance more or less truncated when a passerby attacks them after they share their first kiss. Two friends try to help out in the aftermath of the attack, which leaves one of the women in a coma. Morgan Jackson and Ashley Clark play the leads, and Ross Percell and Will Schnabel play the friends in this UIndy production. “The problems of urban living aren’t just cute and eccentric here, though it might seem that way when the evening begins,” said The New York Times’s Ben Brantley of the play in its opening run. “Cutting back and forth in time, before and after a random act of violence that is the work’s center, the production generates an underlying ominousness in even its lightest moments, so that toward its end, the clatter of dropped silverware in a coffee shop generates disproportionate unease.” Nov. 30-Dec. 2, Dec. 6-8 (free preview Nov. 29, 8 p.m.) @ Esch Hall, University of Indianapolis; $11 general admission (discounts available), uindy.edu/arts at the studios of Lauren Zoll (whose solo show is up through 2013 at the IMA), ceramic artists Morgan Bosler and Barbara Zech, as well as the Seed and Star Studio (shared by four artists) and the Art Lab artist co-op, which houses studio space for several artists while offering classes to the young people on ceramics, painting and the like. Just down the road from the SoBro Arts Colony is Bad Dog Studios, which will host a Holiday party on Friday featuring work by Quincy Owens and fellow SoBro denizen Doug Arnholter, among others.

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Judy Chicago and The Dinner Party

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WEDNESDAY

Judy Chicago @ Herron School of Art + Design Judy Chicago, who may be best known for her 1979 installation piece The Dinner Party, which consists of place settings for 39 women who have figured in world history since primordial and fertility goddesses first hit the world stage, will take stock of her life’s work next Wednesday in a talk, “Surveying Judy Chicago: An Artist’s Career,” at Herron. Her appearance is in conjunction with the opening of three exhibitions at Herron, including work by undergrads and M.F.A. students. 6 p.m. @ Basile Auditorium, Herron School of Art + Design, free and open to the public, judychicago.com

SoBro Arts Studio Tour: 6-10 p.m. @ 20602070 E. 54th St.; Bad Dog Bash: 6-10 p.m. @ 5345 Winthrop Ave., Ste. H

Reviews of Stop Kiss, Butler Ballet’s Nutcracker, A Very Phoenix Xmas 7 and Yuletide Celebration

PHOTOS

RAW Semi-finals at Bartinis by Stacy Kagiwada Jim’s Thanksgiving & Black Friday bike rides by Jim Poyser

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 11.28.12-12.05.12 // go&do

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A&E FEATURE Bakin’ with the Boss

NUVO: German chocolate VALASTRO: Chocolate ganache NUVO: Swiss roll

Cake Boss’s Buddy Valastro in Indy

VALASTRO: Yule log NUVO: Tiramisu VALASTRO: My dad. I think of my dad. He taught me how to make it.

BY KATHERINE COPLEN KCOPLEN@NUVO.NET Buddy Valastro, known on TV as the Cake Boss, told us during a recent interview that he spends about 11 months of the year in front of cameras filming one of his three shows, which include Cake Boss, a reality show about his bakery which premiered in 2009, and Next Great Baker, a Top Chefstyled baking competition that rewards winners with a job working for Valastro. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t still hauling ass in the kitchen. The Boss proudly claims to work at least six days a week in Carlo’s Bakery, the more than century-old Hoboken specialty bakery where he builds insane cakes. Cakes in the shape of snow globes, airplanes and race cars. Valestro will take a least a day off from the kitchen for a talk Wednesday, Dec. 5 in the Murat Theatre, where he’ll share family recipes and stories, and even ice a few cakes. NUVO: Can you update us about the damage to your bakery from Sandy and the damage to Hoboken in general? BUDDY VALASTRO: Absolutely. Thank god that in the bakery in Lackawanna, we did not get any water damage. We lost power for about eight days, so we had a lot of loss of product and we weren’t able to be open for eight days. In the history of Carlo’s Bakery, that’s never happened. But we were the lucky ones. There were people in Hoboken that got destroyed. The whole tri-state area got hit pretty hard. There’s places on the Jersey Shore that will be re-defined. They’ll never be the same again. But, I feel like we’re a resilient community. We’ll come together and things will get better. NUVO: So, I like to think of 2006 as the year of the TV dessert explosion, with Ace of Cakes, Ultimate Cake Off, Amazing Wedding Cakes, Fabulous Cakes, and of course your show. What kind of cultural shift happened to make people so interested in cake all of a sudden? VALASTRO: I think we take cake to an art level. I think that it’s a little bit more than a cake. It’s who we are; it’s the family aspect. The whole Jersey craze kind of helped things. I think people are interested in what’s going on. At the end of the day, there’s a lot of things to be intrigued by besides seeing someone making an awesome cake. NUVO: Last season, your mother was diagnosed with ALS, which is devastating. How did you decide what to keep on the show and what was too private? VALASTRO: My idea with going public with it was that at the end of the day, people who saw her would say, “Mary, what’s wrong with you? You don’t look good.” And they would

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NUVO: What’s special about your tiramisu? VALASTRO: It’s my dad’s recipe. It’s so good. We use sweet marsala. It has such a unique flavor profile. I’d put it against anybody’s out there. NUVO: Spice cake VALASTRO: Pumpkin SUBMITTED PHOTO

Where’s the friggin’ cake?

NUVO: Bavarian

see that she can’t walk and stuff like that. I thought that by going public, a lot of people wouldn’t ask that question. And, with ALS, the only thing you can do is make people comfortable and pray. And my mom has gotten so much love and support and prayers. I also wanted to help raise awareness for ALS and the families going through it and try and coordinate people and see what’s the best care for my mom personally. By going public, everything I just said happened. NUVO: And how is she now? VALASTRO: I mean, as good as she can be. Things are getting tough for her. NUVO: On a lighter note, you have three separate series, and you’re running a business — VALASTRO: Four children.

NUVO: How do you manage your time? How much time do you get to bake and cook for your family?

NUVO: What do you think about the cupcake craze? VALASTRO: Well, to tell you the truth, I was one of the first ones who picked up on it years ago. I’m talking about like in 2002. I’ve been a big supporter of it; I’ve been kind of always trying to do more decadent, delicious cupcakes for the bakery. I’m not into the whole “cupcake cake” thing. I think, again, no disrespect to the cupcake shows or whatever. I think that when you look at a bunch of cupcakes piled together to become something, you don’t get the same effect as a cake. The visual effect. NUVO: It’s easier if you have one bad cupcake to pluck it off and replace it, but if a cake goes...

NUVO: And four children? VALASTRO: Four children, 150 employees. We do it all. We do a little bit of everything.

stuff. We’re starting to open more bakeries and stuff like that. My expansion plans are coming to fruition now.

“Let it cool off before you ice it!”

— Buddy Valastro

VALASTRO: I don’t want to say it’s easier or not easier, I mean. I don’t want to sound like a jerk. NUVO: You don’t want to stir up anything with the cupcake guys?

VALASTRO: If I bake at the bakery, that’s where I’m baking for my family regardless. If I’m home, I’ll cook a great meal for my family. I usually try to take off one day a week, and that’s family day. I still have a very good relationship with my children and my wife. My trick is — whatever I’m doing, give it 100 percent. If I’m with my son, throwing the ball or kicking the soccer ball out back, I’m with my him. That’s our time. If I’m at the bakery and making a cake, I give it 100 percent. If I’m on the phone with you, giving an interview, you’ve got me. I just feel like if you focus and just do it, it just gets done.

VALASTRO: I don’t want the Cupcake Sisters (of TLC’s DC Cupcakes) coming after me and beating me down.

NUVO: How long is an average line to get into the shop?

VALASTRO: Cream cheese

VALASTRO: Well, when the kids are getting out of school, it can be like an hour. We’ve got a better system to manage our lines and

a&e feature // 11.28.12-12.05.12 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

NUVO: Now, you can shut me down if you don’t want to do this. But I’d love to do some cake flavor word associations. I have a list of flavors and if you could tell me what word comes to mind, or what event comes to mind – VALASTRO: Do it! (rapid fire answers come from the Cake Boss) NUVO: Red velvet

NUVO: Lemon curd VALASTRO: Fresh raspberries

VALASTRO: Cream pie NUVO: Did I leave out any of your favorites? Or — how about this — if you were going to eat a cake, any cake, what kind of cake would you eat? VALASTRO: Vanilla cake, french cream, fresh raspberries and chocolate ganache. NUVO: Now, you have a new cookbook with a lot of different variations and substitutions you can make. How closely do you stick to recipes when you’re cooking? Not baking, which I realize is totally different. VALASTRO: Definitely. It’s two completely different philosophies. When you cook — a little more salt, a little less salt, whatever. When you’re baking, you can’t do that with baking powder, you know what I’m trying to say? Baking is a precise science; cooking is more free-form. When you cake decorate, it’s more of a free fall – you want to put vanilla, chocolate? Do whatever you want. NUVO: If you could give at-home bakers one easy tip for improving their cakes, what would it be? VALASTRO: (actually shouting) Let it cool off before you ice it! NUVO: I just moved into a new apartment and I’m working on furnishing my kitchen. What are some indispensable tools that you have to have? VALASTRO: You need a turntable, okay? A KitchenAid mixer is a necessity. As far as ingredients-wise, just the basics. Butter, sugar, flour, baking powder, baking soda, vegetable shortening, vanilla.

BUDDY VALASTRO LIVE: THE CAKE BOSS Wednesday, Dec. 5, 7:30 p.m., prices vary Murat Theatre at Old National Centre, 502 N. New Jersey St.


A&E FEATURE Cake Boss Christmas Creations CHRISTMAS TREE CUPCAKES 24 cupcakes

¼ CUP nonpareils

1 CUP green buttercream, in a bag fitted with a #126 rose tip

½ CUP white buttercream in a parchment pencil

5½ CUPS green buttercream, in a bag set up for an interchangeable tip ½ CUP red buttercream, #2 interchangeable plain tip ½ CUP yellow buttercream, #3 interchangeable plain tip

1. Center a cupcake on the turntable. 2. Take the first green buttercream bag in hand and, while turning the turntable, apply steady pressure to pipe a border around the edge of the cupcake. 3. Attach a #12 plain tip to the coupler of the second bag of green buttercream and pipe a 2-inch-high cylinder. 4. Replace the #12 plain tip with the #69 leaf tip and squeeze-and-pull green leaves all over the cylinder. 5. Switch to the red buttercream bag, and squeeze-andpull small dots all over the tree, representing ornaments. 6. Switch to the yellow buttercream bag, and squeeze-andpull a “star” (a small “kiss”-like accent) on the top of the tree. 7. Sprinkle nonpareils over the tree. If desired, top each tree with a sugar star, as pictured. 8. Take the parchment pencil in hand and apply steady pressure to pipe 2 strands of white “glitter” in the branches of the tree. 9. Remove the cupcake from the turntable and repeat with the remaining cupcakes. Note: These cupcakes call for about 8 cups, or 1½ batches, of Decorator’s Buttercream.

SNOWFLAKE WINTER WONDERLAND CAKE MAKES ONE 9-INCH CAKE EDIBLES Two 9-inch cakes, filled with your choice of filling 4 CUPS white Decorator’s Buttercream in a pastry bag fitted with the #7 interchangeable tip 3 POUNDS baby blue fondant 6 OUNCES white fondant

½ CUP crystal or coarse sugar Pearl luster dust TOOLS & EQUIPMENT Snowflake cutters or plunger cutters, assorted sizes Paintbrush Steamer

1. Prepare the cake: On a turntable, prepare a double-layer cake on a doilylined cardboard circle, filling it with the filling of your choice and dirty-icing it without the tip .

(Note: After dirty-icing, keep the buttercream in the bag for affixing design elements to cake and creating the shell border.)

2. Cover the cake: Drape the cake with baby blue fondant, smooth it in place with the smoother, and trim it. 3. Make snowflakes: Roll the white fondant out to a 10-inch square, 1/8 Inch thick. Use large and small snowflake cutters or plungers to make 18 to 20 snowflakes. Use a small brush to paint the flakes with luster dust. 4. Apply frost to the cake: Steam the cake and sprinkle ¼ cup of the sugar to make a 1-inch border around the top edge of the cake; steam it in place. Sprinkle the remaining ¼ cup sugar around the bottom of the cak e to make a 2-inch border, then steam it into place. 5. Apply the snowflakes to the cake: Pipe buttercream dabs onto the top and sides of the cake and use it to affix the snowflakes to the cake. 6. Pipe kisses: Use the same bag to squeeze-and-pull kisses around the cake.

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Recipes and photos courtesy of Buddy Valastro “Another of our seasonal cakes, this one pays tribute to the wonders of winter with snowflakes, frost, and a blue-and-white color scheme. Whether or not you live in the Northeast, I think everybody responds to these images when the holidays roll around. As soon as Thanksgiving comes and goes, I look forward to making this cake, and I hope it might become a similar tradition for you and your family.” — BUDDY VALASTRO

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 11.28.12-12.05.12 // a&e reviews

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MOVIES

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Hitchcock u Hitchcock is a toothless behind-thescenes-in-Hollywood flick with a Lifetime movie slathered over it. Anthony Hopkins will probably snag a Best Actor Oscar nomination for his starring role as legendary filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock, although too much of his performance consists of him trying to look cryptic and iconic while swallowed by a fat suit and a set of Lee Press-On Jowls. The actor seldom rises above cartoon level — John Goodman was more convincing as Fred Flintstone than Hopkins is as Hitch. Helen Mirren plays Alma Reville, editor, screenwriter and Hitchcock’s wife. She is presented as the woman behind the man, and much attention is given to the supposed rocky parts of their relationship. Basically, she wants her partner to be more attentive and involved, while he eyes her with suspicion, figuring that she may be turning to another. Their story is entertaining only because Helen Mirren is entertaining. Had the film been titled Behind Hitchcock or something more indicative of the its actual direction, the sudsy stuff would have been easier to watch.

The story takes place in 1959-60, following the success of Hitchcock’s North by Northwest. Some believed the 60-year-old filmmaker had peaked creatively and was on his way down. Then Hitchcock set out to make a film based on Robert Bloch’s novel Psycho. The studio refused to finance the grisly-sounding production, so Hitchcock put up his own money and set off to reassert his relevance, creating an experimental corker that sent modern horror filmmaking off in a whole new direction. Isn’t that interesting? Does that sound like the kind of story that needs a tackedon soap opera? The film’s legendary shower scene and the daring lead character shift receive plenty of attention, but why does Psycho hold up on repeat viewings? You’ll get no clue in this cinematic wading pool and don’t you think you should, given that the film is largely based on Stephen Rebello’s book Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho? The public persona of Hitchcock was that of an impishly macabre trickster, a lovable character who would fit right in with the Addams family. Reports of Hitchcock the man indicate a creepier fellow with major problems in the female department. While the film offers enough peepshow glimpses to establish Hitchcock’s ick factor, he mostly remains a cypher.

The supporting cast includes Scarlett Johansson as Janet Leigh, Jessica Biel as Vera Miles, James D’Arcy as jittery Anthony Perkins, Danny Huston as screenwriter Whitfield Cook and Toni Collette as Hitchcock’s assistant. They’re all fine. I’d offer more details, but my attention was diverted by Hopkins’ performance and the floundering story structure. Instead of insight, director Sacha Gervasi (maker of the fine documentary Anvil! The Story of Anvil) and screenwriter John J. McLaughlin offer half-baked scenes of Hitchcock encountering the spirit of Ed Gein (Michael Wincott), the serial killer that inspired the novel (and later the Leatherface character in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.) As an insider’s look at the making of a classic, Hitchcock offers the most obvious information. There is, however, a great scene of Hitchcock standing outside the door of a screening of Psycho, “conducting” the screaming audience. The moment is big, bold and stirring. Wish there’d been more like that. I’m not sure of the intended audience for this movie. Too anemic for Hitchcock buffs, it may be aimed at mainstream viewers that know the director primarily by reputation. If so, I’d advise that audience to better serve their time by passing on the production and watching a Hitchcock film instead. — ED JOHNSON-OTT

FILM CLIPS IU CINEMA: TODD SOLONDZ A CHRISTMAS STORY (1983)

Four films and a lecture by Solondz, whose oft-brutal work walks the line between comedy and tragedy. Nov. 30: Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995), a best dramatic feature winner at Sundance; Dark Horse (2011), his new one; Todd Solondz lecture. Dec. 1: Happiness (1998); Life During Wartime (2009), a variation on Happiness, with a new cast. Dec. 2: Dark Horse. You used up all the glue on purpose. Nov. 30-Dec. 2, 2 and 7:30 p.m. @ Artcraft Theatre, 57 S. Main St., Franklin; $5 adults (discounts available)

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 11.28.12-12.05.12 // go&do

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FOOD Enter through the gift shop Cheesy decor, agreeable food

BY N E I L CH A R LE S N CH A RL E S @N U V O . N E T With its generous expanses of exposed limestone and natural-hued wood, Cooper’s Hawk, on the inside at least, resembles a sort-of fantasy incarnation of the idyllic wine country restaurant. Bordeaux barrels adorn the walls and the ambience is light and spacious. If it weren’t for the view of H.H. Gregg next door, you could almost be in Napa. Entering the front door, you find yourself not in a traditional restaurant lobby, but in a tasting room-gift shop full of the latest essential wine-related accoutrements, chocolates and, of course, wine for sale and for tasting. For Cooper’s Hawk not only serves wine, it makes it too, at the restaurant’s headquarters in Illinois, from grapes sourced from notable growing regions around the country. At first glance, the gift shop seems a bit heavy-handed, like an upscale Cracker Barrel, but in spite of having been

warned to expect an equally heavy sales pitch for the winery’s club, the subject wasn’t broached a single time during the course of a very agreeable recent meal. Seated promptly, we were attended to with efficient yet unstuffy courtesy throughout the course of lunch by our knowledgeable and helpful server. Cooper’s Hawk offers an epic menu, with a full complement of salads, sandwiches, soups, pasta, fish, poultry and meats, not to mention desserts and cheeses. Usually a menu of this scope could only achieve middling quality at best, for obvious reasons, but in this case the kitchen did a credible job of bringing freshness and vitality to most of the dishes we sampled. First off, and best of all, was an appetizer of Asian BBQ Pork Belly Nachos, small individual crisp tortillas topped with slices of sweetly spicy belly, finished with a heaping crunch of scallions and radish and a smear of subtly spiced barbecue sauce. Served six to a plate for $8.99, this was a generous portion. Somewhat less successful, but still quite tasty, was a plate of Mexican Drunken Shrimp ($12.99) served in a tequila lime sauce. Although goodlooking on paper, the bacon-wrapped shrimp could have used more crunch, and the sauce appeared to have been thickened with cornstarch, slightly dulling the edge of the otherwise snappy main ingredients.

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a&e // 11.28.12-12.05.12 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

PHOTO BY MARK LEE

Asian BBQ pork belly nachos (foreground) and Mexican drunken shrimp at Cooper’s Hawk.

Of the two entrees we sampled, the house-made gnocchi, topped with fresh spinach and a lively tomato sauce, was a solid effort, the gnocchi being perfectly cooked and just slightly firm in the middle. The chicken piccata, a wonderful traditional dish when done perfectly, was almost there but not quite: the superthin chicken escalopes had become a bit tired and chewy and the sauce was on the creamy side, lacking the dish’s essential zip but still delivering a good depth of lemon-caper flavor in spite of that. Rounding out the meal we enjoyed the aptly named banoffee pie, a surprisingly light and airy confection centered around bananas, caramel and cream. And what of the wine? Although Cooper’s Hawk offers numerous tastings and wine flights, this was lunch, so I confined myself to a very well-made and

varietally true gewürztraminer, a wine sufficiently intriguing to prompt a future visit to try a few more.

GRAPE SENSE

Keller, chef at The French Laundry in Napa, write The French Laundry Cookbook. The iconic wine country restaurant has long been considered one of the country’s best.

RUHLMAN IN INDY So much fuss is made over pairing wine and food the home cook may not think of wine as an asset in flavoring their dishes.

“I learned this from Thomas Keller,” Ruhlman said. “People often like to put wines in marinades but the alcohol in marinades will actually de-nature the exterior of the protein and prevent any flavors from entering the meat. You’re not really helping the meat; in fact, you’re helping the outside become slightly mushy by marinating in wine.

BY HOWARD HEWITT

Michael Ruhlman, one of American’s most prolific and authoritative food authors, said wine can be used as a great marinade. Ruhlman, known for his 18 books and appearances on the Food Network and with Anthony Bourdain on the Travel Channel, made a recent brief visit to Indiana. The Cleveland native said one of the most important rules is an old one. “Always use a wine that you would feel comfortable drinking,” he said. “But not a Chateau Margaux (very expensive French wine). You don’t want to throw that in a pot of stew; use a drinkable, affordable wine.” “I like to add it in the beginning when the alcohol tends to burn off faster. I always add it first at the first de-glazing or adding of the liquid ingredients.” Ruhlman has written books with some of the country’s top chefs.. His big career break came when he had the opportunity to help Thomas

Cooper’s Hawk Winery & Restaurant 3815 E. 96th St. 574-9463 coopershawkwinery.com

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FOOD: r ATMOSPHERE: r SERVICE: r

“What I learned from Keller is that if you’re going to use wine, and it’s a great thing to marinate with, cook off the alcohol first then add the aromatics. Add the onions, carrots, and thyme or whatever you want. Throw in the pepper and some salt so that it steeps and cooks then flame it and make sure you can’t get any flame. Once the alcohol is cooked off then you have this really tasty fluid to marinate your meat.”

Read Howard Hewitt’s wine column at redforme.blogspot.com. Write him with questions or comments at hewitthoward@gmail.com.


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music Technorganic Jason Lytle’s wild home studio BY K A T H E RI N E C O P LE N K CO P L E N @N U V O . N E T

B

est known for founding Grandaddy, the melancholy Calif. indie rock-techno geniuses, Jason Lytle’s been a one-man show for a while now. Probably even longer than most Grandaddy listeners would know, since he began recording almost all of the tracks completely solo before the band officially broke up in 2006. A surprise hastily organized reunion tour delighted fans in September. A new Grandaddy album is (maybe) in the works, but Lytle’s consumed right now with rolling out his new solo album Dept. of Disappearance. He’ll be at the DO317 Lounge tonight. NUVO: So you’ll be here next week in Indianapolis, playing in a small, newish venue. It’s a really beautiful place. But first, let’s talk about what you did earlier this year, playing in the Grandaddy reunion shows. Tell me about how those came together. LYTLE: Well, part of the condition for doing it was that we wouldn’t really make any decisions whether to continue or not. It was pretty much, “Let’s be in the moment and put together a strong set of songs and have as much fun as we can and make a little bit of money.” And that seems to be the case. It was a pretty intense month. We planned about three weeks beforehand just to make sure everything would sound good. It was a good time, but it also reminded me why I phased myself out of that life as well. Just a whole ...traveling in a group and all the logistics that go along. It’s kind of the opposite of flying free and easy. Lots of logistics and preparations and what not. NUVO: I have to imagine there would be a lot of baggage that would come along with reuniting. LYTLE: You would think –– if it ever came to the point where it would come to a head. I don’t know; that part of it wasn’t... As a matter of fact, once we were talking about this, we said, “You know, we’re considering all this, but we haven’t even hung out with each other in a long time. So, we actually scheduled a dinner a couple days ahead of the tour, just to hang out. We cooked up some food and lounged around my keyboard player’s house for a day and a half. Everything just came right back together. We were just really stoked to hang out with each other. All the old jokes and finishing each other’s sentences just fell back into place. That part of it was actually the best part to me. NUVO: You’ve made lots of comments about working in your studio in your house, and then leaving the studio and being in the wild with bears and National Parks, etc. How long have

onnuvo.net 22

you been in Montana? How has that changed the music that you’re making? LYTLE: I’ve been here about seven years. And I think that I’ve always been affected and gotten a lot –– even when I was in California, I was always making trips to Yosemite. There’s plenty of pastures and range lands and woods to find within a 30 or 40 minute drive. But in order to get more serious about it, you had to drive a couple of hours and it ends up being this involved day trip, or, if you’re lucky, a weekend trip. But I just always wanted to live somewhere where I was in closer, if not right in the middle of untamed, wild land. Something that resembled the same thing it did thousands of years ago. It’s hard to talk about the effect it’s had on me. It sounds kind of ridiculous, especially when I’m still working with synthesizers and working with technology and what-not. You have a hard time imaging some of the terrain that I spend time in effecting that kind of music. But, I think what it does, more than anything else, is awakens something in me –– and it is the only way I know to wake it up. And I think that’s something in all of us. It manages to get sort of stifled or pushed down or snuffed out by all of the everyday chaos of living in a modern world. It’s woken up a creative machine in me. And that’s the most important thing.

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Jason Lytle in his Montana home

I don’t know much more to say –– the image of this dying man in the desert as the sun was going down, and that being the last sunset that he ever sees was just one of those moments of inspiration. I wish they came more often. It pretty much just set the song in motion, and the words came really fast. One of those [times] where I was driving and trying to write at the same time. Luckily, I was out on a dirt road and there wasn’t much to hit.

NUVO: You mention synthesizers and the sounds that you’re working with as something [not related to the natural world] but something I’ve come across again and again while reading about your music is the word “technorganic.”

NUVO: Your album art both some of your solo work and all of Grandaddy always maintains the same lettered name plates. With Grandaddy it was always those dotted caps, written out. Always, that pasted-on, DIY lettering.

LYTLE: Whoa.

LYTLE: The original Grandaddy logo was made by me. It was a sloppy take on a Western font. I was happy to see it get photocopied 62 trillion times (said sarcastically). But yeah, it definitely had some shelf life. To tell you the truth, I’m so much more interested in living life and doing normal things, and when it’s time to be creative and go to work and be in the studio, it all happens really fast. Just like, “Get it done, get it done, get it done.” The idea of calling people to help me with all these different aspects of it starts taking all the fun out of it. I’m not really lazy, I just don’t want to include any more people than necessary and I don’t know how to use Photoshop. (laughs) Once you get over the fact that some people are going to consider that it looks cheap and you’re okay with that, it’s fine. I just don’t know that many people, either, to tell you the truth. I don’t go searching out all of these other people, amazing graphic designers, to bring in to my fold. I think I’d rather just be friends with them than have to consider them work partners.

NUVO: Technorganic. LYTLE: You know what, I think that it is fair to acknowledge. Every sound, every box, every synthesizer –– it’s closer when you get into real old analogue synthesizers with real-time filters. It is still pretty natural and organic. I guess at some point they were saying the same thing about electric guitars. Now, if you use electric guitars it’s not that big of a deal, as far as, “Oh, it’s a technological travesty,” (he says in an oldtimey voice). There’s a big group of people who would have loved for music to exist only in the form of lutes and hammer dulcimers and keep the guitars for the end of time. These sounds were made by humans. Even when you get into all the software, they’re sounds that were designed by humans. And we can’t help but be affected by what we see around us. Some of it gets pretty ridiculous and sci-fi, but I do definitely tend to lean toward the ones that remind me of things that I see around me, when I’m out and about, or nature. NUVO: I love your track “Your Final Setting Sun,” and loved it even more when I read that you said it was inspired by Cormac McCarthy. LYTLE: I was on a drive. I had the music sitting around for a while. It was one of those pieces where there were too many loose ends; it needed words, it needed a story. I was out on a drive as the sun was going down in my favorite part of the outskirts of this town of mine.

REVIEWS/PHOTOS

NUVO: And that probably pretty naturally fold into your ideas about home recordings. Do you still do most of your stuff in your home studio? LYTLE: I do about 99 percent of it, as a matter of fact. That is a little bit different of a reason. That’s my medium. That’s something that I’m passionate about –– recording and sound and production and making records. I try really, really hard to make things sound good. I try a lot harder to do that than making them look good.

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NUVO: Than lettering your logo. LYTLE: Exactly. Although I did invest in a ruler, so things are pretty straight. To be fair, I am really interested in art. I drew as a little kid and spent just immeasurable hours inside my head just drawing and drawing and drawing. And I do have an interest in painting. But it’s all pretty untrained and not-intellectual. If anything, I really like colors and am a visual person, and it really carries into my music. NUVO: Hmm. Do you think you have synesthesia? Where you can’t listen to music without hearing the colors it sounds like? LYTLE: I don’t even know what that is. What is that word? NUVO: (Here began my convoluted on-thespot explanation of synesthesia, more easily summed up as a kind of neurological condition where stimulation of one sense leads to the involuntary stimulation of another. The kind I mentioned above is sound-color synesthesia, where different sounds trigger different colors in various hues, brightnesses and movements.) LYTLE: I have something similar, but I think it may –– it’s comparable with the fact that I’m not able to just relax and see the forest for the trees. But most of that is like a production thing. I get obsessed. I get swept away. I have to rely on other people and ask them how certain things make them feel. It makes it tricky working on music. I’m trying to create these pieces of music where the end-all is the way they make you feel. It can be pretty tough. I’ve employed all these tactics over the year to reset my brain. Sometimes even role-playing, pretending like I’m another person and listening to it differently. It can be a bit distracting when you’re just listening to parts and listening to certain instruments and trying to figure out what reverb they used in that specific little part.

JASON LYTLE

DO317 Lounge, 1043 Virginia Ave. Wednesday, Nov. 28 8 p.m., $10 advance, $12 door, all-ages

Longer version of interview with Jason Lytle, Tonic Ball wrap


MUSIC

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Jon Rans at the Melody Inn, The Vogue and with Mystic Groovies.

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He was a man of modest stature with a smoke-etched voice that sounded 7 feet tall. A soft-hearted curmudgeon, devoted to family but always with a subversive gleam in his eye. A musician, artist, entrepreneur and mentor to young rockers and misfits of every stripe. Indiana’s independent music community lost an elder statesman Nov. 18, when Jon Rans died unexpectedly at his New Orleans home from complications of a respiratory ailment. He was 60 and is survived by his wife, Rita, and their son, Ian. Rans’ influence ran deep in the Muncie area, where he owned and operated the Repeat Performance record store, the Bob Chaos cassette-only recording label and, in the late ‘80s with partner Jeff Weiss, an allages club called the No Bar & Grill. The No Bar was a storefront basement with a DIY décor and, indeed, no kitchen or alcohol service. Yet it quickly became a key Midwestern stop on the indie underground railroad and was mentioned in Michael Azzerad’s acclaimed rock history tome Our Band Could Be Your Life. It gave alternakids from Ball State –– the entire state, really –– a chance to open for acts like Big Black, Naked Raygun, Mojo Nixon, the Dead Milkmen and Die Kreuzen. “Jon willed the ’80s BSU music scene to happen,” says Chris Cruzan, thenguitarist for the Math Bats and Modern Vending. “He is one of the biggest influences on my life.” A skilled drummer, Rans was known in college bars across the Midwest as the engine of the Mystic Groovies, a ’60s cover band specializing in gritty garage psychedelia. More recently in New Orleans, where he and Rita have lived for the past decade,

MainEventIndy.com

Rans mined a similar repertoire with the Lonely Lonely Knights, and his passing was noted there last week in the entertainment guide Offbeat. Though he never forsook the music of his youth, Rans’ original music projects evolved continually, from progressive rock in the ’70s to experimental noise in the ‘80s with his bands Latent Chaos and the Safety Pups. “He was not one to rest on his laurels, that’s for sure,” says local songwritermusician John Sheets, known for his work with the Punkin Holler Boys, Mike’s House and in the ‘90s with Rans in the Phantom Lures. “The sign of a true artist is that no matter where you go, you make your mark. Wherever he went, he was the guy.” Rans also was a painter. And, while living in Muncie, home of a historic ceramics industry, he taught himself to restore antique pottery, eventually co-writing two books on pottery collecting. In post-Katrina New Orleans, he built a business restoring mold-damaged artworks and antiques. “For being such a ‘weird art guy,’ he was an uncanny businessman,” Sheets says. “He knew how to make money.” Cruzan, one of many who planned to attend a memorial celebration earlier this week at the Melody Inn, will primarily recall the Ranses’ support during his musical youth. “I want to thank Jon and Rita for being so kind to all us fools,” he says. “You can’t replace someone like Jon. You can only hope your children have a chance to meet someone like him and come away with the same awesome experience.” –– SCOTT HALL

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A CULTURAL MANIFESTO

WITH KYLE LONG

Kyle Long’s music, which features off-the-radar rhythms from around the world, has brought an international flavor to the local dance music scene.

Israeli rock, in the midst of conflict As the conflict in Gaza unfolds, I often find myself wondering how this ongoing crisis affects the creative psyche of Israeli and Palestinian artists. A recent chance encounter with Israeli musician Yuval Haring provided me an opportunity to find out. Haring plays guitar for the Tel Aviv-based indie band Vaadat Charigim. The group’s dreamy soundscapes recall both the early ‘80s American indie scene –– think Hüsker Dü or The Feelies –– and the early ‘90s British shoegaze sound. A cursory listen to Vaadat Charigim’s wellcrafted pop creations might not immediately suggest that this is art created in a war zone. But there are darker textures and anxieties lurking below the surface, as my conversation with Haring revealed. NUVO: Is there any significance behind the band’s name? HARING: Vaadat Charigim translates as “exemptions committee.” It suggests that we are all pressured to act under the normal. If we were to be tested by an institution, we would most definitely find ourselves facing such a committee to explain ourselves. As this world works and always will, people like us won’t be able to really express ourselves. We won’t be able to express our individuality, but rather we will get squeezed into their box and we will become what they want us to be.

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Vaadat Charigim

HARING: Only sirens and distant booms this time around. When, I was young, Iraq bombed Tel Aviv and also back then it was only sirens and distant booms. I was very close to a suicide bombing once in central Tel Aviv. These things stay with you. I do not hate anyone for them, but I am sometimes full of anxiety. When the sirens re-started a week ago in Tel Aviv, I had such a strong flashback that my heart just raced. For people in the south of the country and people in Gaza, I would probably multiply what I went through as a Tel Avivian by a hundred.

“There is war always and there is an uncertainty to life.”

NUVO: Can you tell me about the music scene in Tel Aviv? HARING: Rich, amazing, full of talented people with the drive and passion to make a scene of their own –– something comparable to the American scene of the early ‘80s. There is a sort of post-post-Reaganism ruling Israel now. There is war always and there is an uncertainty to life. These factors make for very potent artistic expression at times. NUVO: Can you describe the state of mind of an artist creating creating work in what is essentially a war-zone? HARING: Get it done fast, that’s the state of mind. I used to be part of an indie music society called Fast Music. The premise was to get an album done in 24 hours. I’m not saying you couldn’t record for weeks if you wanted to. But we were working under the idea that nothing is here to stay, nothing has time to grow, nothing has time to remain a part of our lives and everything is fleeting. This is what it is to create here.

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NUVO: Have you been personally exposed to any of the violence? music // 11.28.12-12.05.12 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

NUVO: In your opinion what’s the role of an artist in a time of war?

HARING: To create, to be a critic of violence on a human level –– Yuval Haring and to say the things that people with the luxury of time would say –– not people in panic. The artist should remind everyone of beauty. NUVO: Are your thoughts and opinions on the conflict reflected in your lyrics? HARING: Yes, some of the songs are about being stuck. Others are about the world ending or the feeling that the world as a modern concept has long ended, and instead there is chaos, morally speaking. NUVO: Do you think artists and musicians can influence social change in a time of war? HARING: I would say yes, but only to those willing to listen. It cannot force itself onto the audience. The best music is like water, it fills in the gaps and goes deep and low. It can wake you up and make you realize things about your life and the lives of others. It can shatter logic and make you dream bigger and longer. But I don’t like music that is in-your-face or confrontational. The best wartime music seeps like water and hits the deepest parts of the heart because it rings true –– not because it is “powerful.”

LISTEN UP Kyle Long creates a custom podcast for each column. Hear this week’s at NUVO.net.


SOUNDCHECK Wednesday WEDNESDAY PICKS

Kentucky Nightmare, KO, Laura K. Balke at The Melody Inn Jason Lytle at the DO317 Lounge Rachael Yamagata at Radio Radio Black Pistol Fire at Birdy’s Bashiri Asad & Xenobia Green at Jazz Kitchen

Thursday THURSDAY PICKS

Band of Horses, Jason Lytle at Bluebird (Bloomington) Pujol, Psychic Feel at White Rabbit Cabaret Souldies at the Melody Inn My Yellow Rickshaw at Moon Dog Tavern Greensky Bluegrass at Vogue

Friday

ROCK PUBLIC DEFENDER BALL Radio Radio, 1119 Prospect St. 7 p.m., $7, 21+

Featuring Bloomington’s all-girl group The Vallures (plus one gentleman) grooving on ‘60s style Motown hits. Add bonus: this year’s Battle of Birdy’s winner Morning Goldrunner will also perform with Vess and the United States Three. All proceeds will go to the Public Defender Agency.

OTHER FRIDAY PICKS

Krum, Halibrid, Whiskey Supercharger, Black Stone Ritual at Indy’s Jukebox Juicy Fridays at Blu Lounge Big Daddy Caddy at Slippery Noodle Slater Hogan at Bartini’s Bonesetters and Hotfox at Hancock Public Library Twin Cats at the Mousetrap Brothers Gross, Ridgelands, Van Buren Boys at the Melody Inn

Saturday

FOLK SHEEPDOGS

Tin Roof, 36 S. Pennsylvania St. 9 p.m., free, 21+

WTTS is bringing us a free show featuring the much-touted Sheepdogs, a.k.a. the only unsigned band Rolling Stone has ever featured on the cover. These folksters finally released their first signed full-length on Atlantic this September, but they’ve been kicking since 2007. Plus, they kind of actually look like sheepdogs.

OTHER SATURDAY PICKS

Apostle of Solitude, Goliathon, Iron Diamond at Indy’s Jukebox Bleeding Keys at Monkey’s Tale DO317 One Year Party featuring Houndmouth, Night Moves at Radio Radio King Khan & BBQ Show, Purple 7, Fire Moose at The Video Saloon (Bloomington)

Sunday

TROPICALIA OS MUTANTES

White Rabbit Cabaret, 1116 Prospect St. 9 p.m., $20 advance, $25 at door, 21+

Tropicalia-psychedelic legends Os Mutantes will perform in Indy for the first time in recent memory, accompained by locals Pravada, Sweet Poison Victim and DJ Kyle Long. Advance tickets are very nearly gone at the time of this writing, so check in straight away if you’re interested in attending.

OTHER SUNDAY PICKS

Cocoanut Grove Lounge and Espanglish Night at the Melody Inn Monkey Idol Karaoke at the Monkey’s Tale

Monday

LOCAL LABELS FLANNELGRAPH RECORDS ANNUAL BENEFIT ALBUM RELEASE SHOW HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR The Bishop, 123 S. Walnut St. (Bloomington) 7 p.m., $5, 18+

Flannelgraph is one of Indiana’s most intrepid little labels, and their holiday compilations are one of the highlights of the entire year. Pick up a copy of The Holidays Don’t Have to Be So Rotten (illustrated by local comic artist Gavin Smith) featuring zillions of instrumental contributions from local artists. Short sets from artists on the release will fill the night. Check out former NUVO cover girl Laura K. Balke, Mike Adams, New Terrors, Chad Serhal, Frank Schweikhardt and many, many more. All money raised this year goes to Middle Way House.

Tuesday

PUBLIC ENEMY

at the Vogue Log on to NUVO.net for a preview of the Public Enemy show

EVEN MORE See complete calendar listings on NUVO.net and our brand new mobile site.

Punk Rock Night at Melody Inn

BARFLY

by Wayne Bertsch

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 11.28.12-12.05.12 // music

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Plus, did I say that out loud? No Do-Overs: By 2009, James Washington believed he had gotten away with a 1995 murder, but then he had a heart attack, and on his deathbed, in a fit of remorse, he confessed to a confidant. (“I have to get something off my conscience,” he told a guard in the jailhouse where he was serving time for a lesser, unrelated offense.) However, Washington miraculously recovered from the heart attack and tried to take back his confession, but prosecutors in Nashville, Tenn., were unfazed. They used it to augment the sparse evidence from 1995, and in October 2012 the now-healthier Washington was convicted of the murder and sentenced to 51 more years in prison.

Government in Action

• Among the federally funded projects highlighted in the “2012 Waste Book” of U.S. Sen. Tom Coburn were a $325,000 grant to develop a “robosquirrel” (to help study the somehow-confusing interaction between squirrels and rattlesnakes) and a $700,000 grant by the National Science Foundation for a New York theater company to create a musical about climate change and biodiversity (which actually opened this year, in Kansas City, and included among its concepts, according to one critic, “flying monkey poop”). Abuses of the food stamp program were also detailed, such as by one exotic dancer who, while earning $85,000, drew food stamps in an amount roughly equivalent to the sum she spent on “cosmetic enhancements.” • While the Department of Veterans Affairs remains under criticism for inadequate funding for personnel disabled in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, it spent in 2010 more than $5 million on training conferences just to teach bureaucrats how to administer parts of its latest collective-bargaining contract, according to an October report in the Washington Examiner. In fact, reported the Examiner, $34 million in payroll goes to department officials who work mainly on unionrelated activities.

Great Art!

RESEARCH STUDY:

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• “I wanted to create a self-portrait that was completely stripped of ... visual prejudice,” said Polish-born New York artist Martynka Wawrzyniak, who thus chose the medium of “smell” for her gallery showing in New York City (running through mid-November). For starters, she “scientifically extracted” her hair oils, armpit perspiration and tears (to protest humans’ cloaking themselves in deodorant soaps and laundry powders), and blasted visitors with whiffs of it as they entered the gallery. • Because We Can: The Tate Liverpool museum in England was host on Oct. 19 to artist Kerry Morrison’s Bird Sheet music project in which she laid down a giant blank musical score sheet under a tree and waited for birds to make “deposits”

on it, which she took to represent “notes” that composer Jon Hering plans to play straight, as the “sound” of the blackbirds.

Democracy in Action

• Getting Out the Vote: (1) Just before a primary election in June, Albuquerque, N.M., TV station KOB apparently caught, on camera, a poll worker for two county government candidates offering potential voters miniature bottles of whiskey to sip during free rides to early voting centers. (2) Los Angeles’ KCBS-TV reported in October that leaflets sponsored by the Progress and Collaboration Slate for its local candidates in Eagle Rock, Calif., also mentioned an offer of $40 worth of “medical-grade marijuana” as incentive for voting. (3) Carme Cristina Lima, 32, running for town councillor in Itacoatiara, Brazil, was arrested in October for allegedly passing out cocaine packets attached to her campaign leaflets. • Colleen Lachowicz won her contest for a Maine state senate seat in November despite ridicule by opponents for her admitted devotion to the online game World of Warcraft. “Certainly,” said an opposing-party official, “the fact that she spends so much time on a video game says something about her work ethic and ... immaturity.” Her WoW character is Santiaga, an “orc (Level 85) assassination rogue” with green skin, fangs, a Mohawk and pointy ears. • In several high-profile races across the country in November, voters rejected candidates who had been accused of wrongdoing and corruption, but Brian Banks survived. He was elected as a Michigan state representative from Detroit, with 68 percent of the vote, even though his rap sheet includes eight felony convictions for bad checks and credit card fraud. (Campaign slogan: “You Can Bank on Banks.”) Also, Michigan’s 11th Congressional District elected reindeer farmer Kerry Bentivolio, whose brother had described him as “mentally unbalanced.”

Police Report

• Michael Carrier, 45, was arrested for soliciting prostitution in New Milford, Conn., in August -- not resulting from a police sting, which is usually how arrests for that crime are made. In Carrier’s case, he was disturbing other customers at a Friendly’s restaurant because, being hard of hearing, he was shouting to the prostitute the terms of their prospective business arrangement.

Perspective

• Neurosurgeon Denise Crute left Colorado in 2005 after admitting to four serious mistakes (including wrong-side surgeries on patients’ brain and spine) and left Illinois several years after that, when the state medical board concluded that she made three more serious mistakes (including another wrong-side spine surgery). Nonetheless, she was not formally “disciplined” by either state in that she was permitted merely to “surrender” her licenses, which the profession does not regard as “discipline.” In November, Denver’s KMGH-TV reported that Dr. Crute had landed a job at the prestigious NEWS OF THE WEIRD CONTINUED TO PG 30

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Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York, where she treats post-surgery patients (and she informed Illinois officials recently that she is fully licensed in New York to resume performing neurosurgery).

People Different From Us

• Among the contestants so far on this year’s The Learning Channel cable TV series “Extreme Cheapskates”: “Roy” of Huntington, Vt., who reuses dental floss; Jeff Yeager of Accokeek, Md., who combs butcher shops for odd animal parts about to be discarded; and “Victoria” of Columbus, Ohio, who specializes in Dumpster-diving and infrequent toilet flushes that involve, according to one report, personalized urine jars. The season’s star is expected to be “Kay,” from New York, who is shown on camera demonstrating the nonessential nature of toilet paper by wiping herself with soap and water while seated on the throne.

Least Competent Criminals

• Rookie Mistakes: (1) Arthur Bundrage, 28, was arrested in Syracuse, N.Y., in October after he returned to the Alliance Bank -- which he had just robbed minutes earlier -- because he discovered that the employee had given him less than the $20,000 his demand note ordered. Officers arrived to find Bundrage standing by the front doors, trying to get back in. (2) A September theft from a sofa superstore in Northampton, England, ended badly for two men, who had just loaded a pair of couches (worth the equivalent of about $650 each) into their truck and were about

30

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD NEWS OF THE WEIRD CONTINUED FROM PG 29

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to drive off. However, the store manager rushed out and, noticing the truck’s unfastened back door, reached in and pulled the sofas out, leaving the men to drive away empty-handed. The sequence was captured on surveillance video, leading store owner Mark Kypta to liken it to “something out of a Benny Hill film.”

Readers’ Choice

• (1) In October, a 2-foot-long shark fell from the sky and landed near the 12th tee at the San Juan Hills Golf Club in San Juan Capistrano, Calif. A security guard saw the incident, and an attendant placed the shark in a bucket of water (with some salt) and drove it four miles to the Pacific Ocean. (Best guess among observers: An osprey or peregrine falcon had snatched it from the ocean but eventually lost its grip.) (2) In October, a major fire mysteriously started inside Red Lion Liquors (in, coincidentally, Burnsville, Minn.). Since nothing spark-producing was found, fire officials guessed that sunlight, magnified through vodka bottles, had ignited surrounding paper signs, and the heat eventually pressured the vodka bottles’ tops to burst, exacerbating the flames. Firefighters, even, appeared amazed, with one quoted as saying, “This is so cool!” Thanks This Week to Gerald Thomason,

©2012 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

© 2012 BY ROB BRESZNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “They are trying to make me into a fixed star,” complained religious leader Martin Luther a few centuries ago. “I am an irregular planet.” I invite you to use that declaration as your own in the coming weeks. You have every right to avoid being pinned down, pigeonholed, and forced to be consistent. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you need abundant freedom to mutate your identity. You deserve a poetic license that allows you to play a variety of different roles and explore the pleasures of unpredictable self-expression. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “The StarSpangled Banner” is America’s national anthem. It features the lyrics of a patriotic poem written by Francis Scott Key. But the melody itself is entirely lifted from a bawdy old song that celebrates Bacchus, the ancient god of wine and ecstatic dancing. I love it when things are repurposed as dramatically as that. Do you? The coming weeks will be prime time to repurpose stuff with creative abandon. Make the past useful for the future, Taurus. Turn good old ideas into fantastic new ones. Don’t just recycle; transform. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I’m guessing that in the coming weeks you will be receiving a multitude of inquiries, invitations, and temptations -- probably more than you feel capable of responding to, and certainly more than you should respond to. A few of these opportunities might be appealing and lead to interesting adventures. But some will be useless, diversionary, or trivial. Will you be able to tell the difference? That’s your big challenge. If you’d like help dodging unwanted solicitations, give out this phone number as your own: 212.479.7990. It’s a free service provide by “The Rejection Line” at Rejectionline.com. People calling that number will be politely told you aren’t available. CANCER (June 21-July 22): For millennia, the plant known as the yellow avalanche lily has thrived on mountain slopes and meadows throughout western North America. It blooms early in the spring, just in time for broadtailed hummingbirds that migrate from Central America to sip the flower’s nectar. But now there’s a problem with that ancient arrangement. Due to global warming, the lily now blossoms 17 days earlier than it used to. But the hummingbirds haven’t made an adjustment in their schedule, so they’re barely showing up in time to get their full allotment of nectar. I suspect this is a metaphor for a shift you may be facing in your own life rhythm. Fortunately, you’ve been forewarned, and you can adjust better than the hummingbirds. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In our calendar, there is no special holiday devoted to honoring the joy and power of rebellion. This oversight confounds me. All my experience tells me that the urge to revolt is a fundamental human need. Every one of us has a sacred duty to regularly rise up and overthrow a stale status quo that is oppressing us -- whether that’s an organized group effort we’re part of or our own deadening routine. I’m telling you this, Leo, because it’s an excellent time to celebrate your own Rebellion Jubilee. Your vitality will soar as you shed numbing habits and decaying traditions. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Recently you’ve had resemblances to an eight-yearold kid wearing the pajamas you loved when you were five. Your bare arms are jutting out beyond where the sleeves end, and there’s a similar thing going on with your legs. The fabric is ripped here and there because it can’t accommodate how much you’ve grown. You’re feeling discomfort in places where the overly tight fit is squeezing your flesh. All of this is somewhat cute but mostly alarming. I wish you would wean yourself of the past and update your approach. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A lot of leopard frogs live on Staten Island, one of New York City’s five boroughs. Most of them make a sound that resembles a long snore or a

rapid chuckle. But over the years, biologists have also detected a third type of frogly expression: a clipped, repetitive croak. Just this year, they finally figured out that this belonged to an entirely distinct species of leopard frog that they had never before identified. It’s still so new it doesn’t have a name yet. I expect a metaphorically similar development in your life, Libra. You will become aware of a secret that has been hiding in plain sight. You will “find” something that actually revealed itself to you some time ago. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Tom Tolbert is a sports talk show host on San Francisco radio station KNBR. I am amazingly neutral about him. Nothing he says fascinates me or mirrors my own thoughts. On the other hand, he never makes me mad and he’s not boring. I neither like him nor dislike him. I simply see him for who he is, without any regard for what he can do for me. He has become a symbol of the possibility that I’m able to look at a human being with complete impartiality, having no wish for him to be different from what he is. In the coming week, I suggest you try to achieve this enlightened state of mind on a regular basis. It’s prime time, astrologically speaking, to ripen your mastery of the art of objectivity. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you say “rabbit rabbit rabbit” as soon as you wake up on the first day of the month, you will have good luck for the next 30 to 31 days. At least that’s how reality works according to a British superstition. But judging from your astrological omens, I don’t think you will have to resort to magic tricks like that to stimulate your good fortune. In the next four weeks, I suspect you will be the beneficiary of a flood of cosmic mojo, as well as a surge of divine woowoo, a shower of astral juju, and an upwelling of universal googoo gaga. If it would give you even more confidence to invoke your favorite superstitions, though, go right ahead. Even scientists say that kind of thing works: tinyurl.com/SuperstitiousBoost. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): According to Greek myth, Perseus cut off the head of Medusa. She was the creature whose hair was composed of snakes and whose gaze could turn a person into stone. The immortal winged horse Pegasus was instantaneously born from Medusa’s blood. He ultimately became an ally to the nine Muses, and Zeus relied on him to carry thunder and lightning. I predict that while you’re sleeping, Capricorn, you will have a dream that contains elements of this myth. Here’s a preliminary interpretation of that dream: You are undergoing a transition that could in a sense give you the power of flight and a more abundant access to a muse. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s time for you to be leader of the pack, Aquarius; to take your gang to the next level; to make sure the group mind isn’t suppressing innovation and enforcing peer pressure but is rather inspiring every member of the tribe to be as creative as they dare to be. And if it’s not realistic for you to wield that much power, then do whatever you can to synergize the alliances that hold your posse together. Build team morale. Gossip constructively. Conspire to animate an influx of fresh magic. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): If you’re a food company that wants to sell chicken in the shape of a chicken wing, it must have actual chicken wing meat in it. Otherwise, the law says you’ve got to call your product “wyngz.” I’ve always thought that there’s a lot of information the media presents as “news” that is really as fake as wyngz. That’s why I advocate calling the bogus stuff “newzak” (rhymes with “muzak”). Your assignment in the coming weeks, Pisces, is to make sure you’re not putting out any wyngz- or newzak like stuff in your own chosen field. The fates will help you rather dramatically if you put a high premium on authenticity.

Homework: What’s the title of the book you’d like to write? What’s the name of the rock band you’d be in? Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

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