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PEOPLE ARE A HASSLE VOICES PG. 4
Cover Page 08
What do we think of our fellow humans, anyway? By David Hoppe
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RIGHT MAN, RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT TEAM!
Ed Johnson-Ott talks to the star of the Coen brothers’ latest film.
MUSIC FOR MANDELA MUSIC PG. 24
In world of huge egos, the Pacers’ Frank Vogel keeps it real
By Conrad Brunner • Cover art by Ryan Alvis Photos by Michelle Craig
Songs that honor an icon and the movement he represented. By Kyle Long
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VOICES
THIS WEEK
VOICES
QUESTIONING PEOPLES’ PRIMARY PURPOSE
O
ngoing demonstrations by fast-food workers demanding higher pay, along with the renewed effort to raise the federal minimum wage, beg a much larger question: What are people for? Work has been the traditional answer to that question in the United States. Work is the heart of our social contract. It’s through work that we define who we are, create the basis for a better life and, most important, take responsibility for ourselves. So, after the initial sticker shock of hearing, for example, that McDonald’s workers want $15 per hour, it’s possible to understand where these folks are coming from. Like anybody else, they want a decent life. They’re willing to work for it — being on your feet eight hours a day isn’t easy. And decent isn’t cheap. The media have been full of stories about fast-food workers being on the
4 VOICES // 12.18.13 - 12.26.13 // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO
job for eight, 10 years and making less than $9 an hour. A recording went viral of a McDonald’s worker being told by a corporate rep to supplement her income with tax-supported programs like food stamps and Medicaid. A study released by a group of labor economists from U.C. Berkeley and the University of Illinois at ChampaignUrbana found that 52 percent of fast-food workers rely on public assistance. According to the study, those supplemental benefits cost the government about $7 billion a year. Since McDonald’s showed profits of $5.5 billion in 2012, you could argue that the federal government makes fast-food’s business model possible. But hold on. That business model was based on being able to hire high school students and housewives who needed a little extra money. Nobody thought that working at McDonald’s
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DAVID HOPPE DHOPPE@NUVO.NET David Hoppe has been writing columns for NUVO since the mid-1990s. Find him online every week at NUVO.NET/VOICES
Let’s face it: One thing people are is a hassle might constitute a “career.” Yet that’s what’s happened as our economy has gotten harder to break into. There are fewer and fewer jobs for unskilled or inexperienced workers, and the skill sets required in many jobs are getting more and more specialized. People today can consider themselves lucky to land a job flipping burgers. No wonder, then, these folks want to make
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WIN AN IPAD DETAILS ON PAGE 13 enough money on which to live. From their point of view, they’re trying to be loyal employees. They think their experience — dealing with the public, knowing what it takes to make things run smoothly and, yes, taking responsibility when required — ought to count for something. The trouble is, whatever happens to fast-food pay, it’s likely those jobs, and many more like them, will eventually be eliminated by technology. Let’s face it: One thing people are is a hassle. That’s why employers replace us with machines wherever and whenever they can. And guess what? Productivity keeps going up in spite of high unemployment and stagnating wages. The stock market is booming, which is a good thing for retirees who have holdings in a 401k or an IRA — people, that is, who don’t have to work anymore. Look, we don’t even trust ourselves to drive. According to a new poll, 82 percent of millennials want selfbraking cars. What are people for? Not as much, apparently, as we think. n
WHAT HAPPENED? The spirit of the season After hearing a presentation from cultural awareness educator and Native American storyteller Teresa Webb, an Anishinaabe (First Nations) Eastern Woodland who talked about the profound poverty experienced on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, an 11-year-old student at Guion Elementary School, Ryleigh Mill, requested people attending her recent birthday party to bring blankets instead of presents. “This little one took it seriously!” Webb wrote, when she contacted NUVO to note she would pick up the blankets on Wednesday. “She HEARD the news and responded with her heart! She is a little hero to me!” Not all aboard The Indiana Protection and Advocacy Services Commission has sued Amtrak as part of a nationwide effort to focus attention on Amtrak’s issues with Americans With Disabilities Act compliance. The National Disability Rights Network, IPAS and 24 other groups conducted a nationwide survey of Amtrak stations, identifying issues such as: stairways with no alternatives for ascent and descent, as well as ticket counters and restrooms that could not accommodate people in wheelchairs. The group’s findings are compiled in the report “All Aboard (Except People with Disabilities).” “People with disabilities have been very patient with Amtrak and IPAS believes that enough is enough; 23 years is a long time for individuals with disabilities to wait for equal access”, Gary Richter, IPAS executive director, said in a news release. IPAS found items of concern at all 11 Indiana stations surveyed. An Amtrak spokesman responded via email that the company will “review the complaint and respond accordingly,” adding a link to a news release issued last summer that discussed the increasing percentage of riders who have disabilities and Amtrak’s efforts to provide adequate services. That release noted Amtrak owns “a small percentage” of all stations where its trains stop, creating some additional complexities in meeting its compliance goals. — REBECCA TOWNSEND
THOUGHT BITE If there’s anything I hate, it’s hate. – ANDY JACOBS JR.
NUVO.NET/NEWS New energy plan in the works for Indiana By Megan Banta Indiana Supreme Court hands Leucadia a win By Lesley Weidenbener
VOICES • Community policing remains out of reach - By Terry Curry
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Activists with the Indiana Animal Rights Alliance urged circus-goers to consider skipping future shows and to research the documented history of abuse.
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PHOTO BY LARI LOVELY
ANIMAL RIGHTS GROUP PROTESTS CIRCUS Training techniques, transportation and housing all of concern
A
BY L O RI L O V EL Y ED I T O R S @ N U V O . N E T
s they made their way into Bankers Life Fieldhouse on Dec. 5 to attend the “Greatest Show on Earth,” a few people stopped to talk with members of the Indiana Animal Rights Alliance who were protesting the animal training and handling used by the Ringling Brothers Circus. They picked up pamphlets and asked questions. But most avoided eye contact as they walked past several dozen demonstrators carrying signs depicting some of the training techniques and living conditions elephants were forced to endure. One woman shielded the eyes of the toddler she carried hurriedly past the group. “They try not to look at us because they don’t want to know the truth,” activist Linda Cridge said. She made it difficult for them to ignore her as she politely
fine levied by the U.S. Department of approached people with her message. Agriculture for allegedly violating the “Please don’t buy a ticket next year.” Animal Welfare Act on several occasions Several people yelled at the protestors from June 2007 to August 2011. The to “shut up,” denying allegations of anicharge was settled out of court. mal abuse. Surrounded by several children, one Activists with the Indiana Animal Rights Alliance urged circus-goers to consider skipping future shows “They try not to look at us because and to research the documented history of abuse. they don’t want to know the truth.” The American Society for the Prevention of — LINDA CRIDGE, ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVIST Cruelty to Animals and the Animal Protection Institute had filed a lawsuit that cited violations of the Endangered Species angry woman who acknowledged the abusive treatment of the animals nevAct — specifically, that the circus systemertheless complained about the protesatically abuses and exploits elephants by tors’ “guilt tactics.” using metal bullhooks (heavy batons with “We come here for a little fun,” she a sharp point and hook on the end) to called out to the picketers. “Don’t make control them, and chains their legs while us feel guilty about it!” they are not performing. Undercover One father encouraged his two-yearinvestigations by animal rights groups old-daughter to “say it, say it!” She uttered have documented beatings and deaths. an expletive to the demonstrators. Feld Entertainment Inc., which proThe IARA had a presence at the fieldduces the Ringling Bros. and Barnum house prior to each performance, with a & Bailey Circus, agreed to pay a record contingent of up to 100, some of whom penalty in the form of a $270,000
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Participants in the 2012 Homeless Memorial light candles in honor of the deceased.
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PHOTO BY STEPH GRIGGZ
A record number of homeless deaths Each December since 1996, the Coalition for Homelessness Intervention and Prevention has honored the memories of people experiencing homelessness who died during the year. This year’s hour-long service — set for 11 a.m. Dec. 20 at Christ Church Cathedral on Monument Circle —will honor 50 individuals, the highest number ever. The gathering will conclude with a ringing of the cathedral bells for each deceased person. Since the inaugural service, more than 400 people have been memorialized. “This service is always an emotional and moving one. It reminds us that the men and women who live in homelessness experience a great hardship that can cost them their life,” Christy Shepard, CHIP’s executive director, said in a press release. “But it also serves as a call to action for the community to continue the work toward ending homelessness, and gives a renewed sense of purpose for providing services that are critical to transitioning individuals and families to stable housing.” Organizers will provide free lunch to all homeless and formerly homeless attendees, service providers and volunteers who provide daily service to the local homeless population. A study released in January estimated that 1,599 people were experiencing homelessness in Indianapolis, 120 of them unsheltered. — REBECCA TOWNSEND
drove from as far away as Kentucky and braved sleet, snow and cold temperatures. Doug Ross had to travel only a few blocks from his Downtown home. He showed up for several performances, wearing a sandwich sign and carrying two more. Carrie Knight came from Greenwood because of her love of animals. “Elephants are social,” she said. “They shouldn’t be treated like this.” IARA founder and executive director Joel Kerr’s goal is to end animal exploitation. “Animals are not ours to use for entertainment,” he said. “They should be free from human violence. We shouldn’t cause needless suffering for our food, entertainment or lab experiments.” Bottom line, said Marissa Tolentino, who demonstrated at five circus performances over the weekend, “It needs to end.”
Ringling response Sadly, said Stephen Payne, vice president of corporate communications for Feld Entertainment Inc., Ringling is used to protests. “There are a lot of misguided groups opposed to the level of care we provide,” he said.
Those who don’t like the treatment of their animals don’t need to buy a ticket, he said, but the people who did had the opportunity to see the care Ringling provides. “Animal care is our top priority,” Payne said, pointing out that the court never found Ringling to be in violation of animal welfare regulations. “We didn’t agree with the USDA findings, but when a regulatory agency holds your license, it’s a smart business decision to listen to them.” In response to the charges, Ringling “stepped up training” and hired a compliance officer, Payne said. The officer is none other than former USDA assistant general counsel Kenneth H. Vail, who, according to USDA records, repeatedly failed to act on recommendations from the USDA’s Investigative and Enforcement Services to initiate proceedings against Feld Entertainment for beating, abusively and negligently causing the deaths of animals and withholding evidence from the agency, according to an animal rights group. “There are only 35,000 (elephants) left in the world,” Payne added. “The circus is one of the few places left where people can see them up close.” n NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // 12.18.13 - 12.26.13 // NEWS 7
IN A WORLD OF HUGE EGOS, PACERS’ COACH
FRANK VOGEL KEEPS IT REAL T
he Indiana Pacers’ most anticipated season in at least a decade was about to dawn, and Frank Vogel thought he had a gem. When he met the media before the Pacers faced Orlando on Oct. 29 in Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Vogel anticipated a question about expectations and was prepared when it came. “It’s like when you see a great movie and the sequel comes out,” he said, “you want to see how it plays out after that.” After a brief moment of awkward silence, one of the reporters pointed out, more often than not, sequels suck. Rather than being put off by the effrontery, as would so many others in his profession, Vogel laughed and launched a discussion about sequels good and bad, deciding he hoped this season was more like Toy Story 2 than Caddyshack II. “I’ll chalk that up as a bad analogy,” he said. It was not the type of relaxed dialogue you would expect before a game from a professional head coach, a profession that spawns God complexes capable of humbling an actual deity. That type of self-importance simply is not for a guy who laughed the night fans of the movie Old School started chanting “Frank the Tank” in his, um, honor. Vogel isn’t interested in being a legend. He just wants to be a coach. Thing is, he’s on his way to both. In Vogel’s third season, the Pacers are in rare air, poised to contend for what would be the franchise’s first NBA championship. Coach Slick Leonard hung three banners during the ABA years, but lasted just four losing seasons in the NBA. Larry Brown got the team to the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time in 1994 and went back again the next year, but didn’t take the next step. After two more years ended on that same precipice, Larry Bird’s third season as coach was the breakthrough as the Pacers reached the NBA Finals in 2000, only to lose to the Lakers in six games. What happened since has been well-documented and threatened the franchise’s future. Just when Rick Carlisle thought he had a team in position to contend, a spectator named John Green lobbed a drink at Ron Artest one November night in The Palace of Auburn Hills, all hell broke loose and the Pacers became pariahs. It took patience, discipline and a series of shrewd moves, most orchestrated by Bird after he moved from the bench to the front office, but now the Pacers are all the way back. The team is winning, the headlines are positive and the seats are full.
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Coach Vogel at a December practice session.
“I’M AN ASPIRING YOUNG COACH.” Maybe the shrewdest move of all was the most unlikely: Bird’s decision to replace seasoned but vitriolic head coach Jim O’Brien with his protégé, an inexperienced but enthusiastic young assistant named Vogel, midway through the 2010-11 season. “In this business, when things go bad you start getting calls from agents representing coaches, and they say, ‘I hope it doesn’t happen, but if it does, my client would be interested,’” Bird said, reflecting on the move. “I had a number of those guys and there were some pretty good ones. “I asked Jimmy O’Brien and he said ‘For the long run, Frank’s going to be an excellent coach, but obviously he has no experience yet.’ So I called Herb [Simon, the franchise owner] up and said ‘I’m going to hire this kid. I’m going to give him a chance.’ Nobody gets chances in this league, but they should.” At the time, Vogel appeared to be the most interim of coaches. Now, at only 40 years old and still the third youngest coach in the NBA, he is on the verge of not only joining the Pacers coaching legends who have preceded him, but surpassing them. He is on course to move beyond Leonard (142 NBA wins) and Bird (147) on the Pacers’ franchise list this season. If he follows up with one more successful season, Vogel could pass Carlisle (181) and Brown (190) to become the winningest coach in the franchise’s NBA history. ••• With the Pacers in the midst of winning their first nine games, by far the best start in franchise history, they prepared to play host to the Chicago Bulls, one of their chief rivals in the battle to dethrone the mighty Miami Heat. Mike
Dunleavy, now a member of the Bulls but a former Pacers player from the O’Brien era, was asked by a reporter from The Chicago Tribune about Vogel and referred to him as “one of the premier coaches in the league.” When told of this comment, Vogel was genuinely flummoxed. His face flushed as he searched for a response. “I’m an aspiring young coach,” he said. Always has been. Growing up in Wildwood Crest, N.J., a small vacation town on the Jersey Shore, real life was far different than that portrayed on the MTV series. His father published a local real-estate guide, his mom worked the reception desk at Wildwood High during the school year and waited tables at one of the tourist joints in the summer. “It was a complete working-class background,” Vogel said. “We had enough to be happy but not a lot in excess.” Frank played soccer and basketball but was not even close to a star athlete. His chief moment of celebrity came in 1986 when, as a 13-year-old, he appeared on the “Stupid Human Tricks” segment of David Letterman’s show. His talent was spinning a basketball on one end of a toothbrush while brushing his teeth with the other. Fifteen minutes of fame? More like 30 seconds. “I was the least recruited of the starting five on our basketball team,” he said. “I was never the man, the guy. I was just always a humble part of it, just part of the team, but I was a point guard, a captain, a leader, a lead-by-example type of guy, make sure you’re touching all the other guys, keeping everybody else working as hard as you’re working.” He wound up at Juniata Collage, a S E E , V O G E L , O N P A G E 10 NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // 12.18.13 - 12.26.13 // COVER STORY 9
VOGEL , FROM PAGE 09 Division III (non-scholarship) program in Huntingdon, Pa., starting at point guard for the Eagles. He was like hundreds of other guys, playing out the string at the lowest level of the game, majoring in biology, looking at a future as a high school teacher and coach. And then he met Rick Pitino, and everything changed. After his freshman season at Juniata, Vogel attended the Five-Star basketball camp and took the opportunity to introduce himself to Pitino, then the head coach at the University of Kentucky. After a brief conversation, Pitino gave Vogel the standard brushoff line, “Gimme a call if there’s anything I can do for you.” Vogel took it literally. He packed his bags, left Juniata and drove to Lexington, Ky., with no promise – or even prospect – of a job. In fact, he had been told in no uncertain terms he wouldn’t even qualify as a student manager because the Wildcats preferred in-state applicants. They told him he could hang around the gym if he wanted, and so he did. Constantly. “My whole approach with them wasn’t asking for something but showing that I can give them something,” he said. “And I believed that I could.” After a couple of weeks of constant presence and no movement on the job front, Vogel turned to Pitino’s top assistant. Jim O’Brien — yes, that Jim O’Brien —- decided he could use some help and got Pitino’s approval for a twoweek trial period for Vogel. “That’s all I needed,” Vogel said. After finishing out his senior season as a student manager, Vogel became Kentucky’s video coordinator. When Pitino left to become head coach of the Celtics, he took Vogel along in that same role. When O’Brien succeeded Pitino in Boston, he made Vogel an assistant coach. The happy kid with the basketball, the toothbrush and the dream was on his way. ••• The Pacers had just played one of those games where they seemed to sleepwalk through the first half, only to come out and utterly dominate the second, this time against Toronto. It has become their modus operandi, a difficult trend for Vogel to explain. This time, when the subject arises in the postgame media briefing, he smiles and says, “I give great halftime speeches that make them want to run through walls.” After the chuckles subside, he delves into his usual explanation, that the best players spend more time together on the floor when the game is in the balance, so naturally the team performs at a higher level.
Coach Vogel overseeing Donald Sloan develop a play at a recent practice session.
In Vogel’s world, it always is about the players. It is the bedrock of what makes him an unassumingly brilliant coach. Do not be deceived, though. He is not a man without ego; quite the contrary. Nor is he a man without temper. The thing about Vogel is he understands both and has them firmly in control. “I don’t think he’s an anomaly from the standpoint of not having an ego,” said Mark Boyle, who in his 25 years as the radio voice of the Pacers team has worked with every significant coach in the franchise’s history. “I think he might be an anomaly from the standpoint of managing it and disguising it better than other guys. You can’t succeed without it and he’s succeeding, so he must have it, but he doesn’t demonstrate it, at least not typically.” He idolizes Pitino and reveres O’Brien, yet Vogel could not be more different. He has not aspired to be like them, but rather to take facets of their personalities and synthesize them into his own. “They were good for me from the standpoint they’re not like me,” Vogel said. “I learned a lot of their style and what was necessary to have command in your voice and command of your team. But I would be remiss if I tried to do this outside of my own personality. I took a lot of what made them great and added it to what I do and came in here to be myself.” Consider the very genesis of his career as a head coach. Here he was, stepping in for his mentor, a coaching father figure. The first decision Vogel made was to basically throw out everything O’Brien
10 COVER STORY // 12.18.13 - 12.26.13 // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO
had installed and do it his way. On the fly, during the season. A team built around up-tempo offense and 3-point shooting would suddenly shift its focus inside. Center Roy Hibbert, a player who wilted under O’Brien’s tough-love approach, would become the focal point of both the offense and the defense. Vogel introduced a new term to the team: smash-mouth basketball. He also changed the culture, emphasizing positive reinforcement. Instead of dictating to the players what they were expected to do and berating them if they fell short, he told them what he thought they could do and encouraged them to strive. It was so crazy, it worked. Ten games under .500 when he stepped in, the Pacers wound up making the playoffs in 2011, losing to the Bulls in a lively first-round series. The following year they won their first playoff series in nearly a decade but were overmatched by the Heat in the second round. The steady progression continued last year when they advanced to the conference finals and played Miami on nearly even terms before falling agonizingly short in Game 7. There aren’t many rungs left on the ladder for this happy team and its smiling coach. If they continue the climb
this year, they may reach the pinnacle. “You can be positive, but when players mess up they’ve got to know it’s not right. They’ve got to be held accountable,” said Bird. “You can be very positive in a lot of situations, but when it comes time to get down on a guy, you’ve got to tell him, you’ve got to do it in front of the guys, you’ve got to be consistent and players react to that. “I like positivity. It makes you feel better. I like to go to practice and not hear the screaming. But when he needs to do
“I WAS THE LEAST RECRUITED OF THE STARTING FIVE ON OUR BASKETBALL TEAM.” it, he does it. The thing about Frank, he doesn’t linger on the bad. He gets right to the positives and how he wants it done and he expects results. It’s a good feeling. It really is.” Behind closed doors, however, another side of his personality sometimes emerges. He isn’t all smiles, pats on the back and slaps on the butt. “He’ll get mad and cuss,” said veteran power forward David West. “He’ll go Andrew Dice Clay on you, man.” SEE, VOGEL, ON PAGE 12
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VOGEL , FROM PAGE 10 Seriously? Turns out there are teeth behind that smile. “It’s like sitting in second-grade math class at a Catholic school and all of a sudden the nuns are dropping f-bombs,” said assistant coach Dan Burke, who has worked with all kinds in his 17 years with the Pacers. “There are a lot of guys in the league with the middle name ‘f-bomb.’ “When he gets going, it’s good stuff. Most of the time it’s pregame or halftime when he’s amped up. He comes in highly charged and the guys feed off it.” When Bird is asked about this side of Vogel, he couldn’t help but smile. “They always say when you’re a head coach you get three times a year when you can go crazy. Any more than that, the players just laugh at you,” he said. “I think Frank knows when the right time is and it’s not staged. He really gets mad and the players sense that.” They know, even when out of character, Vogel isn’t playing games. ••• The head coach’s office is an assemblage of the things that make Vogel atypical for his world. Where you would
“THEY ALWAYS SAY WHEN YOU’RE A HEAD COACH YOU GET THREE TIMES A YEAR WHEN YOU CAN GO CRAZY. ANY MORE THAN THAT, THE PLAYERS JUST LAUGH AT YOU.”
expect to see trophies draped with cutdown nets, instead you see a huge photo collage of his wife and daughters. The big whiteboard on the wall, the place coaches normally fill with play diagrams and strategic bullet points, instead has doodles of small animals. They are the work of daughters Alexa and Arianna, who visit dad after home games. He also has a framed photo of his first Pacers team and a couple of motivational images, including one of former Pacer Jeff Foster appearing to decapitate
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an opposing guard above the caption, “No layups!” Somewhere in a drawer there are bound to be volumes of statistics, cases filled with DVDs of game and individual player breakdowns, books authored by great coaches and, quite possibly, great generals. Aren’t there? Maybe so, but Vogel does not see himself as some Patton-like figure, destined for greatness, fulfilling some mythic destiny. You know the type. He still sees himself as the player none of the big schools wanted, the kid who had to pester his way into Pitino’s inner circle, the man who seems driven every single day to prove he belongs. “I was always hungry because I never was the guy at any point — manager at Kentucky, video guy, assistant coach, fifthbest player on your high school team,” Vogel said. “Here I am, still just a piece.” More like a piece of work, as they might say back in Wildwood Crest. Vogel is the right man at the right time with the right team. His style might not
translate as well with a group of more veteran, more jaded players, but with this group, it fits perfectly. He knows basketball almost as well as he knows himself. And therein lies the true secret to Frank Vogel’s success. He isn’t trying to be anyone other than Frank Vogel. He doesn’t want to coach any other team than the Indiana Pacers. “I love the game, I love to compete and I want to be great at what I do,” he said. “Besides my family, coaching is what I’m most passionate about. I don’t want just to be a coach. I want to be the Pacers’ coach forever.” After a moment, a well-timed pause, he flashes those pearly whites one more time. “Billy Joel has a line: I won’t be here in another year if I don’t stay on the charts,” Vogel said. “Gotta keep winning.” Now there’s an analogy that works. n Conrad Brunner is a sportscaster and the pro sports writer for 1070thefan.com. Also: Check out The Miller Time Podcast at Nuvo.net
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BY TERENCE FAHERTY Crum Creek Press/The Mystery Company
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Butler University e Do people other than aspiring writers actually read university literary magazines? Well, they’re missing something if they skip over Butler University writing program’s newest offering. For starters, there are great interviews with the poet Charles Simic and the pop culture writer Chuck Klosterman that reveal much about how their lives and their work intertwine. A story by Michael Martone, “Found in The Placebo,” continues the writer’s tradition of making the Hoosier Heartland seem strange. It’s not particularly strange to see graphic novel excerpts in lit mags, but something as dark and perversely Freudian as Kelly Clancy’s “Birdsong” might indeed be a rare bird. Then there’s Scott William Woods’ re-do of the New York Times Bestsellers List — featuring a humorous array of (imaginary) books penned in collaboration with James Patterson — which says what needs to be said about the current state of publishing, writing, and reading in America. Visit Booth online at booth.butler.edu. — DAN GROSSMAN
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BUCKAROOS VS. SHEPHERDS
r In Indy-based Faherty’s latest mystery, protagonist Owen Keane — a detective and Hoosier native — is supposedly taking a break to check up on an old friend from seminary school, now a priest in the Kenyan bush. But Keane’s not exactly getting away from it all, and the parish of this priest is an increasingly troubled one. A local, charismatic leader who claims to be the reincarnation of a long-dead warrior accuses the priest of having stolen his sword. Keane will soon be immersed in the priest’s increasingly serious dilemma — even to the point of drowning? The plot gets pretty complicated, but that’s OK in a mystery, especially one in such a sublime African setting. Followers of Faherty’s Owen Keane series won’t want to miss this one.
THIS WEEK
Franklin prof’s novel addresses racism, hazing, sheep herding in Old West
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BY J I M G A RL I TS ED I T O R S @ N U V O . N E T
ranklin College professor Hank Nuwer’s Sons of the Dawn: A Basque Odyssey, has all the dusty bravado and high noon tension of a Wild West shootem-up. But it’s more than a genre exercise. Due for January release by Shalako Press, Nuwer’s Western novel tackles weightier topics such as cultural diversity in 1890s Idaho, and the related issues of hazing and bullying (Nuwer is known internationally as an expert on bullying). Sitting relaxed in denim and flannel as he devoured a turkey sandwich and sipped black coffee in a donut-county café, Nuwer talked with NUVO about his days as a pickup truck-and-typewriter freelancer scouring the Western landscape for stories. After the interview, Nuwer followed the reporter, a former journo student of Nuwer’s at Ball State University, to kick the tires of a used “C” class RV he thought might serve as his address for upcoming travels and research for his follow-up novel on Chinese miners in the West. NUVO: What compelled you to write a Western novel about sheep herders who hailed from a part of Idaho inhabited by Basque emigres? HANK NUWER: About 40 years ago, I read in a 19th-century Nevada newspaper that buckaroos [read: cowboys] captured a herder, and put him in the center of a ring of fire to kill him. At that time, irate cowboys who thought sheep were eating the good grazeland were driving sheep over cliffs to drive out the sheep ranchers and homesteaders. So the central image in my book is based on a true occurrence. If I’ve done my job, it is about one of the classic battles of the American West, the cattlemen vs. the sheep herders, many of them Basques from Spain and France. My idea in this novel and future novels is to highlight underrepresented minorities in the West as protagonists. When I was a graduate student at Nevada-Reno, the very first course I took was Western American literature, and though I loved literature, I found grad school stultifying and creativity deaden-
PHOTO BY MAX HELLWEG
Hank Nuwer’s travels have taken him from Idaho ghost towns (pictured here) to Spain’s Basque country. Q&A
SONS OF THE DAWN: A BASQUE ODYSSEY
WRITTEN BY: HANK NUWER PUBLISHER: SHALAKO PRESS P R I C E : $1 5. 9 5
ing in spite of my 3.9+ grade point. The head of the University of Nevada Press, Robert Laxalt, probably the best Basque fiction writer of all time and a contributing writer with National Geographic, said, “Hank, you ought to quit grad school and go out and be a writer.” I quit school, went out to Los Angeles, and started writing. One of the proposals to various magazine editors was the culture of the Basques out west, so I abandoned my Topanga Canyon cabin, hopped in my pickup with camper, and went herding sheep with Basque herders out on the trail for a couple magazines. NUVO: Your character Tubal Buscal in particular just leaped from the page for me. NUWER: Tubal changed dramatically from the original character that I had based on
an old herder from Guernica that I herded with in the Ruby Mountains of Nevada and had stayed with at his sheep wagon. Some of the things about his character are present in Tubal. You treat your animals first to a meal before you treat yourself. You set down big boys or flat rocks when you find water, so the next herder comes through won’t die of thirst. You can’t expect to take care of 2,000 sheep if you don’t take care of your camp. So he started on the page from a real person, but it amazed me how he changed into a complicated, fictional character who bore little resemblance to his inspiration. NUVO: People probably know you best from your time as editor of Arts Indiana magazine. How would you explain the work you are doing now to that audience? NUWER: Well, I do have a home in central Indiana since I am a prof at Franklin College, but I have acreage in Alaska and Nevada. The two years that I got to spend as Arts Indiana editor demanded that I learn a lot about music and art. Kurt Vonnegut was on our advisory board. Just before Arts Indiana, I got a chance to interview him, and then I ran into him while giving a talk in New Hampshire, and he and I got to sit at a
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bar and talk some more. What is so darned interesting is that Vonnegut was Indiana through and through, but lived in New York City and Long Island. I am West through and through, but I have been planted in Indiana more or less since 1982.
the bombing of Guernica. I went to Madrid to look at the painting of Guernica by Picasso twice. I think all of this elevates the book from a shoot ’em up western to a far more complex novel than anyone will expect.
NUVO: Does Sons of the Dawn strike you primarily as a Western, as historical fiction, or what?
NUVO: You’ve found a way to add a scene to the novel addressing the topic of hazing. It flows very well.
Hank Nuwer
NUWER: The class I took at Nevada-Reno way back in 1972 with a guest lecturer named Wallace Stegner, a fine novelist, taught me that the West is an excellent setting for complicated literary fiction if it is written with breadth and depth, well developed characters, a plot that is not simplistic, and incredible detail — and speaking of detail, I think you may learn more about sheep herding in my novel than you want. In terms of geographic setting, I’ve been all over Idaho, once having lived there, but I have also been out to the Basque country in Spain to do the research in Guernica at a museum honoring the Basques, and also a Peace Museum dedicated to memorializing
NUWER: This Chinese man, one of the characters who may appear in the sequel novel, meets a buckaroo who tries to cut his queue [or ponytail] off. The queue was sacred to a lot of these ethnic miners, and was an offense that could get somebody hung back in China. Anton, my Basque who lifts 600-pound boulders for fun, throws the buckaroo into a water trough and dunks him under to teach him a lesson: he’s standing up for the little guy, for the hazing victim. It’s interesting because now in this chapter we’ve got two newly arrived Americans, Chinese and Basque, who are standing up against so-called “real Americans” who with their racism have lost the humanity that Anton and the Chinese miner possess. n
NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // 12.18.13 - 12.26.13 // BOOKS 15
FILM
OPENING
Saving Mr. Banks y Disney’s take on the negotiations between Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) and author P.L. Travers (Emma Thompson) for the movie rights to Mary Poppins is sentimental and entertaining. Too bad the wrap-up is bullshit. To avoid spoilers I’ll just say this: When Travers watches the finished film, ask yourself why she reacts the way she does. When you go home, Google her and read the real reason for her reaction, then consider the difference between reality and Disney’s manipulations. The average rating for the film at Rotten Tomatoes is 3.5 stars as of this writing. I docked it a star because of the deceptive presentation. — ED JOHNSON-OTT PG-13, Opens Thursday in wide release American Hustle David O. Russell (The Fighter, Three Kings, I Heart Huckabees) reunited with a few of his favorite stars — Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence — for his latest true-life drama, based on a FBI public corruption investigation in late ‘70s and early ‘80s Long Island. R, Opens Thursday in wide release Walking with Dinosaurs If you liked the 1999 BBC miniseries by the same name (narrated by Kenneth Branagh), then you might have issues with this 3-D production, which goes all anthropomorphic in giving the gift of language to a cretaceous bird (voiced by John Leguizamo) and three Pachyrhinosaurus. PG, Opens Thursday in wide release and 3D
FILM EVENTS Curse of the Cat People (1944) You wouldn’t know it by the title, but The Curse of the Cat People is, indeed, a Christmas film, about a lonely girl who learns life lessons from a ghost that may or may not be, er, real. Produced by thriller legend Val Lewton (hence, why it’s part of the Cat People franchise) and filmed by Hoosier Robert Wise. Garfield Park Arts Center, Dec. 21, 7 p.m., $4
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A VERY GOOD BUMMER, INDEED
Inside Llewyn Davis deromanticizes the struggling musician mystique
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B Y ED J O H N S O N - O TT EJO H N S O N O T T @ N U V O . N E T
’ve seen the Coen brothers Inside Llewyn Davis two times. The first was a press screening with only a few people in attendance. The second was at a crowded sneak preview. I attended the sneak to listen to the audience response to the film, in the hope they could help answer a question that had nagged me since the first screening. I’ll get to that question later. First the basics. Inside Llewyn Davis is set mostly in 1961 New York City. The movie — loosely inspired by performer Dave Van Ronk’s memoir — follows a struggling young folk musician named Llewyn Davis (played very well by Oscar Isaac). Llewyn (LOUen) is a fine singer and guitarist — the film opens with his lovely rendition of the melancholy tune, “Hang Me, Oh Hang Me.” Llewyn used to be part of a duo, but his partner committed suicide. He carries on, creating evocative music as a solo artist. Offstage his affect is flat and his expression impassive, except when he gets angry. With no fixed residence of his own, he crashes on the couches of friends, colleagues and admirers, notably singing duo Jim and Jean (Justin Timberlake and Carey Mulligan). Jean is furious with Llewyn and expresses her feelings incessantly whenever Jim is out of earshot (“Everything you touch turns to shit. Like King Midas’ idiot brother”). The movie tracks a few days in Llewyn’s life. He reluctantly tends to a cat owned by a couple of friends (Ethan Phillips and Robin Bartlett). He snags a session gig playing on a oddly engaging novelty tune. He hitches a ride to Chicago with unrelentingly rude jazz musician (John Goodman) and his Neal Cassady-ish caregiver (Garrett
Oscar Isaac (left) and Justin Timberlake star in the Coen brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis. REVIEW
INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS
RATED: R, e O P E N S : D E C . 19 I N W I D E R E L E A S E
Hedlund). He returns to NYC. Famed producer T Bone Burnett takes charge of the music and the results are wonderful. The cast members performed the tunes live during filming and it makes a difference. Cinematographer Bruno Delbonnel offers outstanding visuals. Though the film is in color, it has the feel of rich black and white. All of the actors nail their parts. On first viewing, I was bothered by Mulligan and Goodman — their respective characters seemed almost cartoonish. When I saw
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the film the second time, I realized they fit perfectly into the production. The knee-jerk reaction to their large performances was my problem, not the film’s. Despite my admiration for the movie, I was left with the nagging question: Is it right to recommend a movie that is such a bummer? What I finally decided was this: Llewyn Davis isn’t necessarily a chronic misanthrope. Behind his sullen exterior he’s still reeling from the death of his partner, but lacks the social skills to deal with his pain. He’s as lost as the cat he keeps trying to protect. Inside Llewyn Davis is a tragedy leavened with humor drawn from the Cosmic Joke and that’s enough. I recommend it. It’s a bummer, but a very good bummer. n
CONTINUING Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues y Preening anchorman Ron Burgundy and his crew move from the ‘70s into the 24-hour-news world of the ‘80s in this mega-hyped sequel. There are plenty of hilarious moments in Anchorman 2 and way more that fall flat. But humor is so subjective, hence my 2.5 star rating, exactly halfway between 1 and 5. Will Ferrell, Steve
Carrell, Paul Rudd, David Koechner and Christina Applegate return, with Kristen Wiig, Meagan Good and James Marsden joining the cast. Get ready for lots of cameo appearances, some of them inspired. Adam McCay’s direction is lumbering in parts, but generally serviceable. If you liked the original, you’ll probably like this. If you didn’t, run! Run like the wind! PG-13, In wide release
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LIVING INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS
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Oscar Isaac talks about his breakout role as a folk singer in Coen brothers’ latest
BY ED JO H NSO N- O T T E JOHNSONOTT@ N U VO . N ET
sense, because it taps into the whole feeling of a stranger in a strange land. I think the Coens have done that throughout all their movies to an extent. Not only do they make theater of a common man, as Barton Fink said, but it’s a common man in a strange land. So he’s a stranger that’s passing through, looking at everything from the outside. And that feeling, the mystery and despair of existence, hyper-aware of his own existence to the point that’s it alienating. I think that’s definitely happening to Llewyn.
magine being Oscar Isaac. You’re a 33-year-old actor and musician born in Guatemala and raised in Miami. You’ve appeared in a few movies, most prominently the crime drama Drive. You go to an audition and — holy smokes! — you land the starring role in the Coen brothers’ film Inside Llewyn Davis, playing a talented folk singer with poor social skills in early ’60s New York City. During a phone interview, the personable Isaac talked about his character, whose story was inspired by the memoir of folk singer Dave Van Ronk. NUVO: I’m interested in how you first encountered the character of Llewyn Davis and prepared for the audition. OSCAR ISAAC: Basically, all I got was a couple of scenes from the audition, and there was a line at the bottom that said he is not Bob Dylan — he is a workingman, blue collar from the Boroughs. So that’s what I had to go off of. And also the song “Hang Me, Oh Hang Me.” I found the arrangement of the song by Dave Van Ronk; I found his memoir, The Mayor of MacDougal Street; and I listened to a bunch of his music and used all that as inspiration and then just went from there, showed up for the audition. I did the two scenes, and I went home and recorded “Hang Me, Oh Hang Me.” They liked it enough to bring me back in. And when I had come back in I learned a couple more songs, and I’d gotten a chance to read the script. NUVO: You said in an interview that you made a decision to avoid smiling at any time during the shooting. ISAAC: Yeah, that’s a very simple way of how to describe it. But really it was about how to communicate warmth without the usual things — smiling or using your charm or ingratiating yourself or using physical contact. And one of the results is you don’t smile as much. I thought about the comedy of resilience — you know, when we laugh at someone going through struggle and hardship. Why does that happen? Are we just laughing at them? Are we laughing in relief that it’s not us? What is it? So I thought of different performances that incorporate that, and that led me to Buster Keaton, an inspiration who is
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NUVO: Did you get a chance to hang with John Goodman?
Oscar Isaac stars as a folk singer struggling with social skills in Inside Llewyn Davis. Q&A
INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS
STARRING: OSCAR ISAAC, CAREY MULLIGAN, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, JOHN GOODMAN WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: JOEL AND ETHAN COEN O P E N S : D E C . 19 I N W I D E R E L E A S E
a physical genius just constantly having these near death experiences — and, yet, his face remains in this melancholic, impassive gaze whether he’s in love, or a house is falling on him or he’s on the front of a train. I like that as an inspiration because he doesn’t ever come across as cool either, because I’m very against cool. I think there’s too much cool in movies. Llewyn runs very hot, he just doesn’t ... It’s as if he’s lost the means to express that to anyone around him, other than through his music. NUVO: Was working with the Coen brothers notably different from your collaborations in previous films? ISAAC: Yes. It was my first time working with two directors, so I had double the horsepower. There were two genius brains making the same movie, driving the same car. So that’s just another resource which was fantastic. And the complete and utter lack of vanity or neurosis, I think all of that was refreshing. The fact that they never compliment, or at least they’re not given to a lot of hyperbole about how great a job someone is doing. It’s all about the work, and what’s
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great about that is that it takes away that variable, that need for approval. NUVO: Did it ever just hit you that “I’m the lead in the Coen brothers new movie right now!?” ISAAC: Yeah, every few minutes I think that would come into my mind — and have to leave immediately. Because if not it could be paralyzing due to the enormity of it. But what was amazing was their way of being on set, their ease, their comfort, the fact that everyone was so happy to be there. It made it feel very small, to the point that when the first time we showed it for a lot of people, it felt strange as if I didn’t realize it wasn’t going to be seen by so many people. I know it sounds funny, but I guess you find ways of tricking yourself so that it doesn’t feel so big. And I think I’ve done a pretty good job of doing that, because it felt like such a small intimate little movie we were making. NUVO: One of the things that struck me was that the other characters were highly stylized, Carey Mulligan’s character and John Goodman’s character, in particular. And Llewyn is basically the most down to earth person in the film, even as his life is a mess. Were the big performances of Goodman and Mulligan as pronounced early in the rehearsal process or did they grow throughout the process? ISAAC: I think right off the bat those were the characters that they embodied. You know, that was their interpretation. And I think within the context it makes
ISAAC: A bit, just a bit. That was the longest sequence that I had with another actor, because everyone else was coming in a few days at a time. But he had a very big challenge on his hands, which was the stream of consciousness monologues directed to the back of my head. He wasn’t getting much back from anybody and it all had to be self-generated. He had to focus on learning that stuff, so there wasn’t a whole lot of room to hang. Although on one particular night, I played a small set at the Gaslight on MacDougal Street. I asked John to come and he showed up. We played a rendition of Dave Van Ronk’s “St. James Infirmary Blues” and John’s such a funny guy, but he doesn’t love a lot of attention his way. So as we finished and all the clapping started, he just walked off the stage and walked out the door. And I didn’t see him again until the next day. NUVO: As the person closest to Llewyn in the world, what do you think happened to him after the movie was over? ISAAC: I think that it’s such a testament to the movie that that’s a question I get a lot. And I think it’s fantastic, because it’s rare that people really care enough to think about what even happens after the movie. Because I think they’ve really cared enough that he feels like a real guy. And so I love to hear that question. I think maybe, just because I do love Dave Van Ronk so much and I know what he ended up doing, Llewyn maybe continued in the circle, kept trying, kept recording, played with different people, played with different bands, made a little bit of money here and there. Then he probably just starts teaching guitar and mentoring some younger people in his tough, brittle way. n
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We are looking for people who are: • Between the ages of 18–75. • Current smokers who smoke ten or more cigarettes per day. • Motivated to quit smoking. Qualified individuals will receive varenicline, bupropion, transdermal nicotine patch or placebo (an inactive substance that looks like the study drug). After 12 weeks of treatment, there is an additional 12 week non-treatment follow-up phase. Smoking cessation counseling and all study related medical care will be provided at no cost. You may also be reimbursed for time and travel. FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT:
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BEER BUZZ
BY RITA KOHN
The recent tapping at Twenty Tap from the not quite year old Carson’s Brewery brought to mind Evansville’s once-storied brewing industry. The past two years have brought renewed craft beer vigor to Indiana’s third largest city and one of its oldest, settled in 1812 and incorporated in 1819. An important Ohio River town from the outset, the Wabash and Erie Canal connecting the Great Lakes with the Ohio River helped Evansville build a diverse economy, including commercial brewing with an international reputation. However, following Prohibition, not until the 1996 opening of the brewery at Turoni’s Pizzary did Evansville regain a hint of its brewing significance — and not until the 2012 opening of Tin Man Brewing has Evansville beer regained international attention. Within the past year Tin Man, built as a model of sustainability, has been named Entrepreneur of the Year from The Chamber of Commerce of Southwest Indiana and has won Bronze for their Circuit Bohemian Pilsner at Canada’s Calgary Beerfest. Other first year wins include Brew Haven Craft Beer Festival 2013 People’s Choice award and Indiana State Fair BIG 2013 Silver for Positron Belgian Blonde and Bronze for Black IPA. Tin Man’s marketing team earned a National Gold ADDY Advertising award for packing and design which also earned mention on the website “Oh Beautiful Beer” citing Tin Man’s “remarkable graphic design.” Tin Man and Carson’s are production breweries, leaving Turoni’s as the sole brewpub noted for its décor and its German, English and Belgian-style brews, including Ol’ 23 Stout, an homage to Yankee great Don Mattingly, who is the co-owner’s brother. News of brews Bier Brewery marked its third anniversary Dec. 13 with the return of Silver Medal Belgian Quad Sanitarium and a lineup of new and favorite “old” brews. Half Moon and Lafayette Brewing Company are doing a “keg swap” to bring new experiences to their regular patrons. On tap at Half Moon is LBC’s Lederhosen Dunkel Roggen dark rye beer brewed with Weihenstephaner hefewiezen yeast. LBC will pour Half Moon’s Better Day IPA. Oaken Barrel’s Undead Red Ale, created in collaboration with Dill Hero of Strange Brew Coffee, is a malty red ale infused with roasted coffee. Indiana City’s Cratchit’s Winter Olde Ale is now in 750ml bottles at the brewery during regular taproom hours. It’s brewed in the style of a sweet, malty English Strong Ale with the addition of allspice and cinnamon.
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Taverna serves middling food in by-the-numbers setting
B Y N EI L CH A RL ES NCHARLES@NUVO.NET
ome time ago my wife and I found ourselves at a restaurant that was little short of a museum piece, where every detail dated to the early ’70s, from the hi-lo shag on the floors to leatherette banquettes to the burgundy waistcoats and the Shrimp de Jonghe appetizer. We took one look around and fled as politely as possible, never to return. Taverna inspires in me a similar sort of reaction. The décor isn’t yet dated, but it’s heading that way. It so blatantly epitomizes everything which is trendy now that it can only get old from this point on. The style is, for want of a better description, California Suburban Mall: burnished dark woods with complementary earth tones, accented by artfully arranged twigs in clear vases. It’s very feng shui, but I find it irritating and soul-less, as if the design came from a Restaurants-R-Us catalogue with barely a hint of human input. In a setting like Broad Ripple, Taverna begs the simple question: why? Restaurants around here are known for their individuality and personal flair. Taverna is more of a chain waiting to happen. Perhaps that’s the point: I can easily envisage identical establishments popping up in Dayton or Columbus, but based upon the uninspiring dishes on offer I don’t think that’s likely. Not that there’s anything glaringly wrong with the food. Meat and fish are fresh (there is no freezer, I’m told), which is admirable. Preparation is correct, in the sense that temperatures are good and things don’t come out over or under cooked. Unfortunately the recipes and execution fail to take advantage of the ingredients, inviting constant com-
Taverna’s pork chop al pastor (above) is admirably tender but tentatively sauced. REVIEW
PHOTOS BY MARK A. LEE
TAVERNA
WHERE: 1850 BROAD RIPPLE AVE. I N F O : 25 7 -5 9 7 2, T A V E R N A F O O D S P I R I T S . C O M H O U R S : M O N - W E D : 5-9 P . M . T H U - S A T : 5-10 P . M . FOOD: t ATMOSPHERE: y SERVICE: r
parisons with the sort of middling hotel food to be found in any metropolis. The menu appears to have been created by a committee, because it’s all over the place, as if everyone had to get his or her favorite in, regardless of national origin or culinary style. For example, four gorgeous and succulent sea scallops arrive perfectly cooked, but they are sadly undermined by a very ’90s wrapping of commercial-grade bacon and finished with a lackluster attempt at beurre blanc. For $17 I would expect a lot more. Main courses are in a similar vein. The predictable meats and fish are well represented. Poached sea bass in miso broth ($32) harkens back
to the early days of Pacific Rim fusion, while a jerk chicken vies with a pork chop al pastor for the best entry in the traditional and spicy category. Both these dishes ($18 and $24 respectively) are admirable for the tenderness of their meat but are also let down by the shallow and tentative saucing. Vegetables, which I somehow forgot to order, add a further $8 to the bill. Although the cocktail menu is well thought-out and certainly worth a visit, the wine list is stacked in favor of bigname behemoths, the sort of wines you find (again) on chain hotel lists. It’s disappointing to run your eye down the page and know you have tasted everything there. Like the food, it’s old before its time and already in need of a fresh coat of paint. n
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LIVE REVIEW THE ICKS AT GENERAL PUBLIC COLLECTIVE
SATURDAY, DEC. 14
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e I’m here to evangelize: The Icks are the most fun band playing out in Indianapolis right now. I’m a bit obsessed with their first LP, Little Rotten, which they released at a Saturday night show this weekend in Fountain Square. They recorded the album this summer at Queensize Studios, and released a few singles (the supremely danceable “Bad Wolf” is a personal favorite) through the fall. With all the fuzzed-out rock spewing out of Fountain Square lately, The Icks’ clear, clean, drum machine-powered organ rock is a joy for my tired ears. General Public Collective is a small storefront on Virginia Ave., across the street from the Murphy Arts Center. Although I haven’t seen a great many shows there since their opening this fall, the space’s interior seems to evolve every time I step inside (and I was there three times last week, so this is notable). For this show, which took place in a corner by the bookshelf that separates the vintage clothes section from the open gallery, the owners stretched a projector screen across the bookshelves and showed The Shining, forwards and backwards (a symmetry experiment popularized by the extremely stoned). While the space isn’t absolutely ideal (and there was definitely something odd going on with the vocal mix), I was surprised at how great it sounded. The set ran a bit long, but I don’t think that criticism is very valid at an album release show — after all, you’re there to celebrate a huge new batch of songs being birthed into the world. And there was only one opener, the deep-voiced Sir Deja Doog, who performed solo. I enjoyed his spare guitar arrangements and sonorous vocals (not unlike Bill Callahan’s), and brief organ interplays. Sir Deja Doog kept his folky songs stripped for this set — he left the spoken word at home this time — and while it was a significantly mellow intro for The Icks, I can’t wait to see him out again soon. — KATHERINE COPLEN
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Please, oh please, Santa, leave these LPs in the sleigh
Y
BY ED W EN CK MU S I C @ N U V O . N E T
eah, there are some really great Christmas recordings out there — Vince Guaraldi’s original tracks from A Charlie Brown Christmas, the ‘60s AM-radio masterwork A Christmas Gift for You (produced, unfortunately, by convicted killer Phil Spector), goodies from Sinatra and Elvis, Death Row Records’ hip-hop compilation — but isn’t digging the truly awful stuff so much more fun? Here are some of our picks for holiday recordings that have missed the mark for one reason or another, in no particular order: CHRISTMAS IN THE STARS: STAR WARS CHRISTMAS ALBUM Not to be confused with the only-airedonce primetime TV monstrosity The Star Wars Christmas Special, this disc was a separate project that was re-released in the ‘90s by Rhino with the blessings of Lucasfilm, amazingly enough. (See, George Lucas wants anyone with a copy of the TV special dead. Do you hear me? Dead.) This 1980 masterpiece features works composed by Tony-Award-winner Maury Yeston (sometimes you need whatever gig you can get when the rent comes due) and was produced by one Tony Bongiovi, the very same genius who somehow figured out how to perfectly capture the Ramones’ live sound on Rocket to Russia. Tony’s kid brother Jon Bongiovi made his debut on the album, singing lead on “R2-D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas” before he changed the spelling of his last name to “Bon Jovi.” NEIL DIAMOND, THE CHRISTMAS ALBUM Christmas songs from the Jewish Elvis? Oy gevalt. BAD RELIGION, CHRISTMAS SONGS Bad Religion’s EP of punk covers of classic Christmas tunes (plus “American Jesus,” just to let you know they’re still Bad Religion, damn it), has an interesting charity wrinkle: 20 percent of the proceeds from
the recording go to a charity called SNAP, or Survivor’s Network of those Abused by Priests. Beyond that noble gesture, it’s Bad Religion doing Christmas Songs. Do you get it? The cover imagery seems to invoke a tune they didn’t cover, the absolutely awful ditty by NewSong called “The Christmas Shoes” — and for the full horror of that number, dig up Patton Oswalt’s standup bit on the subject. Or... NEWSONG, THE CHRISTMAS SHOES Hey, when a two-week-long survey on Gawker.com awards you the title of “Worst Christmas Song Ever,” the next logical step is simple: create a whole album of tripe. (The song itself was originally just a bonus track on NewSong’s The Sheltering Tree.) The best part? You don’t really have to find any new material, just drizzle copious amounts of Velveeta over cherished classics — including a complete and utter destruction of “You’re a Mean One, Mister Grinch.” (If you ever want to hear that tune covered properly, dig up Grinch by a band called “The Whirling Dervishes.” Or just stick with Thurl Ravenscroft’s original performance.)
DAVID HASSELHOFF, THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS Maybe he’ll stop singing if we give him enough cheeseburgers. ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING BY THE TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA What is the opposite of the message brought to mankind by a humble child born in abject poverty? Laser-riddled prog rock, that’s what. Look, if you want to listen to Rush, have at it, but holy cow, folks, don’t make it a Soundtrack for Jesus. This stuff has one use: providing the musical accompaniment to the overthe-top, carbon-sucking, electricity-wasting synced-out holiday light display from someone’s batshit-crazy neighbor that’s gotten 40 million hits on YouTube. n
WILLIAM HUNG, HUNG FOR THE HOLIDAYS American Idol joke contestant releases joke album but does not appear to be in on said joke. Which makes the whole exercise incredibly sad.
CHRISTMAS WITH THE BRADYS Florence Henderson, from Dale, Ind., an accomplished actress and vocalist and Indy 500 singing fixture, appears nowhere on this album. Nowhere. It’s the kids singing, and Johnny Bravo doesn’t even fit the suit here. (Ask a true Brady fan to explain that reference.) The performances from the Bunch range from mediocre to really, really awful.
Bad Religion, expressing disapproval at these other weak Christmas albums.
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If Straight No Chaser is Under the Influence of anything, it’s the glamour of sharing album time with some of music’s legends. They include Stevie Wonder, Dolly Parton, Elton John, Phil Collins, Jason Mraz, Seal and Rob Thomas. “As far as landing some of those names, I just assumed that our management blackmailed them,” vocalist Don Nottingham said in a recent phone interview. The song selection showcases the diversity of the musical tastes of the group, which includes Nottingham, Walter Chase, Randy Stine, Jerome Collins, Michael Luginbill, Charlie Mechling, Tyler Trepp, Seggie Isho, Dave Roberts and Steve Morgan. Parton joins the group on one of her signature hits, “Jolene.” Motown is represented with a cover of the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back,” featuring Sarah Bareilles, while fans of soul get medleys of Ray Charles. While scheduling issues meant most of the guest artists recorded their vocals separately, Parton and Bareilles came to the studios Straight No Chaser was using to record their vocals — a special thrill for the group. “You can only imagine what it’s like to have these folks, like Parton, come in and just knock out a solo to ‘Jolene’ in one take,” Nottingham said. “I think she sang for like 10 minutes.”
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Along with Under The Influence the recording sessions also produced a Christmas EP, “Under The Influence: Holiday Edition.” Its eight tunes feature lead vocals by Cee Lo Green, Colbie Caillat and none other than Paul McCartney (on “Wonderful Christmastime”). The group wanted to do a holiday companion EP to Under The Influence, Nottingham said, in part because Straight No Chaser is well known for its Christmas albums. In fact, it was a YouTube video of a wacky rendition of “The 12 Days Of Christmas” (filmed at a 1998 concert by the original lineup of Straight No Chaser after they had gotten together as students at the University of Indiana) that caught the attention of Craig Kallman, CEO of Atlantic Records, and earned the group its record deal with Atlantic. The group will mix non-seasonal material with holiday tunes as it tours through the remainder of the year. n
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ast week, CBS’s This Morning program came under fire for playing a snippet of American rock band Toto’s “Africa” over footage of the Mandela memorial in South Africa. While the incident was hardly a crisis in the greater scope of international affairs, it does point to a broader issue of cultural insensitivity that is far too pervasive in the United States. CBS producers wouldn’t have needed to dig too deeply to locate an authentic tune: South Africa’s performing artists have left enormous marks on the American music scene. In the ‘60s, South African artists like Miriam Makeba and Hugh Masekela had huge pop hits in the States, while the ‘80s saw Paul Simon propel Zulu choir Ladysmith Black Mambazo to international stardom. Music played an important role in the campaign to free Nelson Mandela, as well as the greater struggle to end apartheid. That influence was so significant that jazz maestro Hugh Masekela once remarked that South Africa was “the only country that had music as an international catalyst to help bring down an unjust government.”
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The following list represents some of my favorite songs associated with Nelson Mandela and the anti-apartheid movement.
A CULTURAL MANIFESTO WITH KYLE LONG KLONG@NUVO.NET Kyle Long’s music, which features off-the-radar rhythms from around the world, has brought an international flavor to the local dance music scene.
ABDULLAH IBRAHIM, “MANNENBERG” There’s a spectacular legend concerning Nelson Mandela associated with this classic by South African jazz pianist Abdullah Ibrahim, formerly known as Dollar Brand. As the story goes, a lawyer smuggled the album into Robben Island Prison where Mandela was held, locked the doors of the control room and played it over the loud speakers. It was the first time Mandela and his fellow inmates had heard any music in years. “Liberation is near,” Mandela reportedly said when he heard Ibrahim’s melodies over the loudspeaker. Sadly, it was not; Mandela was only halfway through the 27 years he would spend as a political prisoner.
she sings. The lyrics were written by anti-apartheid activist Vuyisile Mini in protest of Hendrik Verwoerd, Prime Minister of South Africa from 1958-1966. Mandela has recalled singing this anthem alongside Mini while the pair were imprisoned in a Johannesberg jail. Mini was sentenced to death for political crimes in 1964. Makeba also paid a high price for her work as an activist. The singer was exiled from South Africa in 1960 and not permitted to return home until the ‘90s.
MIRIAM MAKEBA “BEWARE, VERWOERD! (NDODEMNYAMA)” One of many stirring protest anthems recorded by Makeba. “Beware Verwoerd, here are the black people,”
LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO “NOMATHEMBA” Although the famed Zulu choir never recorded political music, their uplifting sound provided hope and inspiration for
many during the apartheid era. Mandela declared the choir “South Africa’s cultural ambassadors” and invited them to perform at both his Nobel Peace Prize award ceremony and presidential inauguration. BRENDA FASSIE “BLACK PRESIDENT” Written in 1990 around the time of Mandela’s release from prison, “Black President” was immediately banned by the South African government. But that didn’t stop the song from becoming an anthem, or stop Fassie from skyrocketing to fame. The singer would go on to release the bestselling album in South African history, prompting Time Magazine to name Fassie the “Madonna of the Townships.” ZAHARA “LOLIWE” In 2011 singer-songwriter Zahara became an overnight sensation with the success of her debut “Loliwe,” a simply told story of reunification and redemption. Don’t miss the touching video (available on YouTube) of Zahara giving a bedside performance of the song for an ailing Mandela. n >> Kyle Long creates a custom podcast for each column. Hear this week’s at NUVO.net
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Birdy’s Annual Xmas Bash Birdy’s, 21+ Ugly Sweater X-Mas Party, Vogue, 21+ Blue Jam with Gene Deer, Slippery Noodle, 21+ Dirty Kluger, Melody Inn, 21+ Burlesque Bingo Bango Show, White Rabbit Cabaret, 21+ Free Jazz Wednesdays with Sophie Faught, Chatterbox Jazz Club, 21+ Serenade Jazz Orchestra Big Band Holiday Show, Jazz Kitchen, 21+
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Melody Inn, 3826 N. Illinois St., 8 p.m., $5, 21+ Above the Clouds, Birdy’s, 21+ Altered X-Mas with Hollow Point and Friends, Mousetrap, 21+ Landon Keller, 86th St. Pub, 21+ Steve Poltz, Sabbatical, 21+ DJ Mes, Blu Nightclub, 21+ Noche Latina, Jazz Kitchen, 21+
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Fastidio, Fiber, Mannish Boy Shout out to the organizers of Espanglish Night, who keep the cultural mashups flowing with these monthly shows. December’s features Fastidio, Fiber and Mannish Boy.
Big D and The Kid’s Table, The Fighting Jamesons, Lockstep, No Direction We’re all about this holiday ska punk show, which features the one-two punch of Irish rockers The Fighting Jamesons and punk princesses of No Direction. They’re opening up for Big D and the Kid’s Table, the hard-touring Boston ska punk band. This will be Lockstep’s last show at the Hoosier Dome. Hoosier Dome, 1627 Prospect St. 7 p.m., $15 in advance, $17 at door, all-ages
HOLIDAZE Amo Joy Holiday Show Indy band Amo Joy isn’t a Christmas band, per se. But they are joyously poppy and to us, that’s what makes Christmas music particularly delectable. They’re throwing this holiday bash as a benefit for Musical Family Tree, and will be joined by Coyote Armada, Popular Ego and Sweet Poison Victim. MFT head honcho Jon Rogers will take over the stacks and tons of favorite Indy institutions (Joyful Noise Recordings, Brain Twins, more) will contribute prizes for the raffle. A
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GOOD CAUSES Public Defender Ball Another Christmas, another Public Defender Ball at Radio Radio, this time featuring Jay Elliot, Morning Goldrunner and Blue Moon Revue, along with a host of raffle prizes and the deep, sweet satisfaction that this is all for an awesome cause. Radio Radio, 1119 E. Prospect St., 7 p.m., $8, 21+ JAZZ Sarah Scharbrough This pianist is a little jazz, a little country, a little gospel and lots of little bits of other things too. Sarah Scharbrough traveled the world but comes home to Indianapolis for this holiday show. Even if you’ve never seen her live, you’ve probably heard Ms. Scharbrough’s voice: she’s been the voice of many commercial radio jingles, including spots for Cedar Point, Ford, Dodge and the Pacers. Jazz Kitchen, 5377 N. College Ave., 7:30 p.m., 10 p.m., $20, 21+ HOLIDAZE Mannheim Steamroller Christmas We sing the tales of the flute electric. Mannheim Steamroller is the soundtrack to intense tree-trimming sessions across the country — how lucky are we to have them here during Christmas week?
Henry French and The Shameless, The Session Brothers, Half-Life, Birdy’s, 21+ Hillbilly Happy Hour, Melody Inn, 21+ Lloyd and Harvey Burlesque Ballyhoo, White Rabbit Cabaret, 21+ Sixteen Candles, Vogue, 21+ Shake, Funkyjunk, The Hardees, Melody Inn, 21+ Boo Ya, Bartini’s, 21+
SATURDAY ACCAPELLA Straight No Chaser A bit more from singer Don Nottinham, of Straight No Chaser: “We’ve got a heavy dose of that new album that’s going to be performed. And then, of course, once it gets closer to the holidays, we’ll pepper in some holiday music because we have a holiday EP coming out. And there may be some old favorites, some things they wouldn’t let us off of the stage unless we sang. So we’ll get to do some of the old standbys as well.” Can’t get any closer to the holidays then this week, Don. Expect plenty of holiday faves. Old National Centre, 502 N. New Jersey St., 8 p.m., prices vary, all-ages METAL Battlecross Does Michigan do Christmas metal right because it’s so god-
damn cold up there? There may be no answer to that, but we’ll keep investigating at this Battlecross show on the Southside. They’ll play with Wilson, It Lies Within and Killzone. This is an all-ages show. The Headquarters, 5508 Elmwood Ave., Suite 332, 8 p.m., $13 advance, $15 at door, all-ages The Down-Fi, Stealing Volume, Jereactors, The Electric Citizen, Melody Inn, 21+ Tim Easton, DO317 Lounge, 21+ Mars or The Massacre, Tied to Tigers, Farewell Audition, Jordan Crosby, Birdy’s, 21+ Dallas Leonard, Gatsby’s Pub, 21+ The Delta Routine, Sugarman, Melody Inn, 21+ (early show) Naughty or Nice Double Birthday Bash, Vogue, 21+
SUNDAY SIB-FOLK Lily and Madeleine If you haven’t seen teen sis sensations Lily and Madeleine live yet (and really, what are you waiting for? The NYTimes is already on it), get yourself an early Christmas and catch this in-store at Landlocked Music in Bloomington. You can pick up a couple LPs while you’re down there, too. Landlocked Music, 202 N. Walnut St. (Bloomington), 3 p.m., FREE, all-ages
SOUNDCHECK BIRTHDAZE C-Tay B-Day Every year, local singer-songwriter Christian Taylor throws himself a birthday party featuring some of his (and our) favorite local talent. This year’s features Scanlines, Human Lights, Digital Dots, Peter and The Kings, Hevan and Helle, Adam Kuhn, Benny Sanders, Brandon Tinkler and Ryan Puett. Get there early and post up at the bar. Melody Inn, 3826 N. Illinois St., 8 p.m., $5, 21+ BOOZY Bourbon, Bells and Bathtub Gin Raise your glass: Cynthia Layne and an all-star band presents a tribute to legal drinking. This show features a collection of songs from the ‘20s and ‘30s at this Prohibition-busting party. Jazz Kitchen, 5377 N. College Ave., 6 p.m., $25, 21+ Straight No Chaser, Old National Centre, all-ages Acoustic Bluegrass Open Jam, Mousetrap, 21+ House of Blues Gospel Brunch, Old National Centre, all-ages Festival of Carols, Center for the Performing Arts, 21+ Posadas Navidena, Talbott Street Nightclub, 21+
MONDAY HOLIDAZE 12 DJs of Christmas Twelve DJs spinning, eleven
club girls grinding, ten bartenders pouring, nine couples fighting, eight frat guys fist-pumping, seven sorority sisters posing, six creepers creeping, fiveeeee security guardsss, four guys out smoking, three spilled beers, two turntables and a shit ton of canned goods. Whew, thanks for indulging us. We just wanted to prepare you for the 12 DJs of Christmas, which raises money and donations for Gleaners Food Bank. PHNM, Action Jackson, Slater Hogan, Lockstar, Top Speed, Gabby Love, Buck Rodgers, Indiana Jones, Ed Trauma, Cool Hand Lex, Cadillac G and StewBot will be spinning. Scour your pantry and get to the show. The Vogue, 6259 N. College Ave., 10 p.m., $7 or FREE with two canned goods, 21+ HOLIDAZE Blue Moon Revue, Jomberfox This local rockfest is for a good cause – hunger relief in Indianapolis, to be specific. This is Blue Moon Revue’s seventh annual food drive, which benefits Gleaners Food Bank. Melody Inn, 3826 N. Illinois St. 9 p.m., $5 with canned food donation, $6 without, 21+ 19Clark25 Hunker Down Holiday, Byrdhouse Sound, Birdy’s, 21+ A #RAGEFAM Holiday with Dub Knight, JodyFree, Adam Pacific DJ-AP, Cam Miller, FoxxTrott, The Red Room, 21+ Midnight Madness Christmas Style, Rock Lobster, 21+
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BEYOND INDY CHICAGO Church Of Misery Ultra Lounge, Dec. 19 Courage My Love Reggies Rock Club, Dec. 19 Mark Kozelek Lincoln Hall, Dec. 19 Deals Gone Bad Double Door, Dec. 20 The Hoyle Brothers Empty Bottle, Dec. 20 Joan of Arc The Hideout, Dec. 20 15 Minutes Late Beat Kitchen, Dec. 21 Scott Lucas & The Married Men, The Hideout, Dec. 21 The Lowdown Brass Band The Hideout, Dec. 24 Mary Wilson Morris Theater, Dec. 24
CINCINNATI Sonny Moorman Township Fields & Tavern, Dec. 21 Space Capone Motr Pub, Dec. 21 David Shelby Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill, Dec. 21 Over The Rhine Taft Theatre, Dec. 21 Ben Sollee. Pop Evil Madison Theater, Dec. 21 Nick Moss Band Legends, Dec. 22 Steel Panther Bogart’s, Dec. 22
LOUISVILLE Anthony Orio, Tin Roof Kem, W.L. Lyons Brown Theatre Thy Art Is Murder Vernon Club
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EMPLOYMENT Restaurant | Healthcare Salon/Spa | General To advertise in Employment, Call Kelly @ 808-4616 HELP WANTED! Make extra money in our free ever ADMINISTRATIVE/ popular homemailer program, CLERICAL includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine! TEMP WORKER WANTED 1-888-292-1120 www.easywork-fromhome.com DATA ENTRY Seeking temporary employee (AAN CAN) for seasonal work. Must have PAID IN ADVANCE!! experience with Mircosoft Make up to $1000 a week Excel or equivalent. Ideal mailing brochures from home! candidate will be able to Helping home workers since organize 6-7 billion names into 2001! Genuine opportunity! two spreadsheets, organized No experience required. Start by geographic location. Short immediately! stature preferred, but not www.process-brochures.com required. Must have reliable (AAN CAN) transportation to the North Pole. Interested candidates, please call 317-808-4607 and CAREER TRAINING ask for Mr. Kringle. JUST MONTHS TO A BRAND NEW YOU! HEALTH CARE Train for a new career in HHA/PCA NEEDED Practical Nursing Home Health Agency hiring Medical Assistant for in-home care employee. Electrical Technician Males welcome to apply. Apply Call Now! 866.231.8721 in person. 5226 Southeast Kaplan College Indianapolis Street. suite A9. Indianapolis, Information about programs IN 46227. Via fax: at www.kaplancollege.com/ 317-405-9045 or email consumer-info. attentivehome@gmail.com AC0028 AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Housing and Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)
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ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Life is best organized as a series of daring ventures from a secure base,” wrote psychologist John Bowlby. Some of you Aries enjoy the “daring venture” part of that formula, but neglect the “secure base” aspect. That’s why your daring ventures may on occasion go awry. If you are that type of Ram, the first half of 2014 will be an excellent time to correct your bad habit. Life will be offering you considerable help and inspiration in building a strong foundation. And if you already appreciate how important it is for your pursuit of excitement to be rooted in well-crafted stability, the coming months will be golden. Aries
Pisces
Virgo
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Scorpio
Aquarius
Capricorn
Sagittarius
Leo
Cancer
Gemini
Pisces
ALLI Virgo
Scorpio
Taurus
Libra
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Here’s a tale of three renowned Taurus brainiacs: Immanuel Kant, John Stuart Mill, and Bertrand Russell. They all had IQs over 175 and all made major contributions to philosophy. Yet all three were physically inept. Kant had trouble keeping a sharp point on his writing instrument, the quill, because he was clumsy using a knife. Mill was so undexterous he found it a chore to tie a knot. Russell’s physical prowess was so limited he was incapable of brewing a pot of tea. Chances are that you are neither as brilliant nor as uncoordinated as these three men. And yet, like them, there is a disconnect between your mind and body -- some glitch in the way the two of them communicate with each other. The coming year will be an excellent time to heal the disconnect and fix the glitch. Taurus
Aries
Pisces
Virgo
Sagittarius
Scorpio
Aquarius
Capricorn
Sagittarius
Leo
Cancer
Gemini
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A horticultural company in the UK is selling TomTato plants to home gardeners. Each bush grows both cherry tomatoes and white potatoes. The magic was accomplished through handcrafted hybridization, not genetic engineering. I foresee a comparable marvel in your long-term future, Gemini. I’m not sure about the exact form it will take. Maybe you will create a product or situation that allows you to satisfy two different needs simultaneously. It’s possible you will find a way to express two of your talents in a single mode. Or perhaps you will be able to unite two sides of you that have previously been unbonded. Congratulations in advance! Pisces
Gemini
Taurus
Sagittarius
Aquarius
Capricorn
Leo
Cancer
Aries
Virgo
Capricorn
Scorpio
Libra
CANCER (June 21-July 22): “To destroy is always the first step in any creation,” said the poet E. E. Cummings. Do you buy that idea, Cancerian? I hope so, because the cosmos has scheduled you to instigate some major creative action in 2014. In order to fulfill that potential, you will have to metaphorically smash, burn, and dissolve any old structures that have been standing in the way of the future. You will have to eliminate as many of the “yes, buts” and “I can’ts” and “not nows” as you possibly can. Cancer
Gemini
Taurus
Aries
Pisces
Aquarius
Capricorn
Sagittarius
Scorpio
Aquarius
Leo
Libra
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): When did you first fall from grace? Do you remember? It has happened to most of us. We spend time being privileged or cared about or respected, and then, suddenly, we no longer are. We lose our innocence. Love disappears. status as a favorite comes to an end. That’s the bad news, Leo. The good news is that I think the months ahead may be time for you to climb back up to one of those high states of grace that you fell from once upon a time. The omens suggest that even now you’re making yourself ready to rise back up -- and sooner than you think, there will be an invitation to do so. Leo
Cancer
Gemini
Taurus
Aries
Pisces
Virgo
Pisces
Aquarius
Capricorn
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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Leonardo da Vinci created the painting St. Jerome in the Wilderness around 1480. It now hangs in the Pinacoteca Vaticana, a museum in Vatican City. For several centuries, though, the treasured work of art was missing. Legend tells us that in the early 19th century, Napoleon’s uncle found the lower half of the painting in a junk shop in Rome. Years later he stumbled upon the top half in another back alley, where it was being used as a wedge in a shoemaker’s bench. I foresee the possibility of a comparable sequence unfolding for you in 2014, Virgo. You just may manage to restore a lost beauty to its proper place of honor, one step at a time. Virgo
Leo
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The Italian painter Tintoretto (1518-1594) was a Libra. He worked with such vigor and passion that he was nicknamed Il Furioso -The Furious. One of his crowning achievements was his painting Paradise, which is 74 feet long and 30 feet tall -about the size of a tennis court. It adorns a huge wall in the Doge’s Palace, a landmark in Venice. I propose that Tintoretto serve as one of your inspirational role models in 2014. The coming months will be an excellent time for you to work hard at crafting your own personal version of paradise on earth. You may not be so wildly robust to deserve the title “Il Furioso.” But then again, you might. Libra
Aries
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Between 2002 and 2009, Buddhist monk Endo Mitsunaga spent a thousand days meditating as he did a ceremonial walk around Mount Hiei in Japan. In 2006, English writer Dave Cornthwaite took 90 days to skateboard across the entire length of Australia, a distance of 3,618 miles. The first man’s intentions were spiritual, the second man’s adventurous. The coming months will be prime time for you to contemplate both kinds of journeys, Scorpio. The astrological omens suggest that you will generate extra good fortune for yourself by seeking out unfamiliar experiences on the open road. To get yourself in the mood, ruminate on the theme of pilgrimage. Scorpio
Libra
Taurus
Aries
Libra
Virgo
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Cancer
Gemini
Taurus
Aries
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Many farms in California’s Tulare County grow produce for supermarket chains. Here’s the problem: Those big stores only want fruits and vegetable that look perfect. So if there are brown spots on the apples or if the zucchinis grow crooked or if the carrots get too big, they are rejected. As a result, 30 percent of the crops go unharvested. That’s sad because a lot of poor people who live in Tulare don’t have enough to eat. Fortunately, some enterprising food activists have begun to work out arrangements with farmers to collect the wasted produce and distribute it to the hungry folks. I gather there’s a comparable situation in your life, Sagittarius: unplucked resources and ignored treasures. In 2014, I hope you take dramatic action to harvest and use them. Sagittarius
Gemini
Scorpio
Libra
Taurus
Aries
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Derrick Brown has a poem entitled “Pussycat Interstellar Naked Hotrod Mofo Ladybug Lustblaster!” I hope that at least once in 2014 you will get up the nerve to call someone you love by that name. Even if you can’t quite bring yourself to utter those actual words, it will be healing for you to get to the point where you feel wild enough to say them. Here’s what I’m driving at, Capricorn: In the coming months, you will be wise to shed any inhibitions that have interfered with you getting all of the free-flowing intimacy you’d love to have. Capricorn
Sagittarius
Cancer
Gemini
Scorpio
Libra
Taurus
Aries
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Artists who are content merely to hone their gifts eventually come to little,” says the Belgian writer Simon Leys. “The ones who truly leave their mark have the strength and the courage to explore and exploit their shortcomings.” I’d like to borrow that wisdom and provide it for you to use in 2014, Aquarius. Even if you’re not an artist, you will be able to achieve an interesting kind of success if you’re willing to make use of the raw materials and untapped potential of your so-called flaws and weaknesses. Whatever is unripe in you will be the key to your creativity. Aquarius
Capricorn
Sagittarius
Leo
Cancer
Gemini
Scorpio
Libra
Taurus
Aries
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In 2014, you will have the mojo to escape a frustration that has drained you and pained you for a long time. I mean you can end its hold on you for good. The coming months will also provide you with the chance to activate and cultivate a labor of love that will last as long as you live. While this project may not bloom overnight, it will reveal its staying power in dramatic fashion. And you will be able to draw on the staunch faith you’ll need to devote yourself to it until its full blessings ripen. Pisces
Virgo
Aquarius
Capricorn
Sagittarius
Leo
Cancer
Gemini
Scorpio
Libra
Taurus
Aries
Homework: What do you want to be when you grow up? Testify at Freewillastrology.com. NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER // 12.18.13 - 12.26.13 // CLASSIFIEDS 31
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