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iter... A note from the Chief Wr
Contents.
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Related Degree Not a Necessity...
4
The Well-Rounded Woman: Modelling Perfection.
5
Struggling with the Ideal Man...
6
Evelynne Lam’s Keys to Success.
7
The Well Rounded Myth.
9
Diary of a Well-Rounded Student.
10 Geek Would Like to Meet... 11 Primark, Ethics and Value for Money. 13 AIDS: Not Just a Gay Disease. 14 Centerfold: KUSU at the NUS Demo! 16 R.I.P. Chillwave 2009 – 2010. 16 The Benefits of Plants. 17 Mood:Excited. 18 Stand Up (For) Comics. 19 Update from The Entertainments Officer 20 Ask Fay. 22 Society Focus. 23 Procrastination On Demand 23 The Top Ten Works of Steven Seagal 24 Found on Facebook. 26 Concourse Sports. 28 YouTube Hall of Fame. 29 Concourse Player Profile.
Hey, I’m Nici - one of the chief writers on Concourse this year. In the last edition we challenged you all to debate and discuss the recent Browne Report; keeping this in mind the team decided you all deserved a light-hearted Concourse to help brighten up your grim November day. This edition has it all; sports, fashion, history and of course as many ways to procrastinate as possible - in fact, I think you’ll find this edition incredibly well-rounded!
The Concourse Team! Chief Editor Fadi Dada Deputy Editor Brendan Rodgers Sports Editor Dan Casey Chief Writers Nicola Hale Andy Johnson Writers Alison Jane Carter Andy Irwin Evelynne Lam Gwen Smith Samuel Fidler Kim Buttery Michael E. Turner II Thomas Norris Nicola Hobbs Frederike Dammé Jack Mills Davidson Sam Higham Proofreaders Lauren Mason Kim Buttery Cartoonist Liam Eddleston
Dates for your diary... Student Council 25th January 22nd February 10th May Union General Meeting 8th February 8th March 31st May Entertainments WinterFest (11.12.10)
Related Degree Not a Necessity... Bright eyed and dressed to impress, I recently made my way to the London Graduate Fair full of confidence that I had perfected my CV. This document detailed my academic life, my A-levels, my degree, my recent jobs - all of which, I had concluded, would be enough to secure for me that perfect, well paid graduate opportunity. I was prepared to hear that the job market was not great and that graduates were facing more problems with every passing year, but I still felt that all those late nights in the Keele library could only help my chances of a high-flying graduate internship. How wrong one can be. It was not only my academic credentials that would be crucial but also whether or not I was a well-rounded student possessing those much talked-about ‘transferable skills’. Like other Grad fair visitors, I panicked and asked the employers in attendance to describe for me this ‘wellrounded’ individual; leading me to make a huge list of tasks that needed to be done before I don that cap and gown and make my break for the outside world. This issue contains a number of perspectives on what truly makes us well-rounded, not only in the world of work but in other areas as well, from relationships to the fundamentals of our respective personalities. In these challenging economic times, many of us are thinking about how to gain the kinds of attributes employers increasingly demand; about how to become not only a better student, but a better person. Soon the issue
will move on to other elements of this puzzle, but here is my personal perspective, centred on the academic side of things. One does not necessarily need a related degree in their chosen field, but one does need to have joined numerous sports teams and societies whilst at university. One does not need to have a first class degree, but some form of experience in the work place. One does not need to have any outstanding achievements but one must have hobbies and an active social life. Knowing that I had quite openly shied away from any sports in my four years at Keele, and I simply had no interest in being president of one of the few societies who have my email on their membership list I quickly returned to Keele in the desperate hope that my remaining seven months were plenty to fulfil the requirements of the well rounded student. My advice to you Keele? Balance. Spend those long hours in the library drafting the essays and pawing over those textbooks but sometimes it’s about more than just your degree...
My advice to you Keele? Balance. Spend those long hours in the library drafting the essays and pawing over those textbooks but sometimes it’s about more than just your degree.
By Nici Hale
TEAM:YEARBOOK! The biggest section of Keele Yearbook is the 'Life at University' section, which consists entirely of photos submitted by you - Keele students. There are numerous themed sections, and each month in Concourse we'll be promoting one of them, with whoever sends in the BEST photo over the next two weeks, winning a FREE Yearbook! This month's theme is 'BEING WRITTEN ON!'. Here are a few samples...now get emailing your photos in to keele@theyearbookpeople.com or upload them direct to Keele Yearbook 2010-11 - Life At University on Facebook.
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Photo submitted by Joanne Pre scott
oman: Modelling W d de un Ro lel W The Perfection By Sam Higham Firstly, I need to point out that the below article does not, in anyway, reflect my personal views on what I believe makes the perfect girlfriend (see also wife, lover, part time bed sharer). Now I’m willing to bet that most guys’ initial reaction to the question ‘What would be your perfect woman?’ would consist of the random spurting out of specific body parts, followed by the name of a celebrity they would like to take each of said body parts from, and graft to another celebrity until we have a popular patchwork of male fantasy, brimming with silicone and sex. However, it’s probably about time men accepted that even with modern medical advances, this isn’t possible.
“She will have to like the idea of watching films that degrade women without complaint...” Next, guys will consider something more realistic - narrowing down their proverbial tick boxes, categorising everything they want from a woman. Someone who doesn’t take two hours to get ready, but looks like they do; someone with indepth sporting knowledge, but not one that surpasses his own; someone who can be ‘one-of-the-guys’ but remain wholly feminine at the same time. Maybe someone who cooks, cleans, washes and irons, but still finds time to follow their man’s every whim, a girl who is spontaneous but organised and a whole host of other impossible contradictions, as though female police officers could play both good and bad cop at the same time. Fine, they’ll say - common interests. She has to be well read, and possess a monthly subscription to both Cosmo and FHM, so he can steal both. She
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-will have to like the idea of watching films that degrade women without complaint; her top ten films must include the Rocky sextuplet. Music stipulations? Everything he likes, however bad it may be. Of course she would like to come and watch an away match with you, in the middle of December in Grimsby - it would be romantic, wouldn’t it dear? OK, maybe I’m being a tad stereotypical, even cynical. Maybe in modern society Boy 1 really would like long walks on the beach, nights by the fire, going to poetry readings, whilst Girl 1 could think of nothing better than to play on the Xbox and drink cheap lager. I think the word we need is compromise.
“There’s a trade off in any relationship, that’s the truth of the matter.” They say ‘sugar and spice and all things nice, that’s what girls are made of’. Doesn’t that imply that all females are the same? Sure, three billion mish-mashed celebrity bodies running around may seem appealing now, but that would get boring. My point here being that variety is the spice of life, and every guy is looking for something different. It’s not something you can nail down in a seven hundred word article. There’s a trade off in any relationship, that’s the truth of the matter. The ideal woman? She’s unique - which thankfully everyone is, in their own way.
Struggling with the Ideal Man... By Frederike Dammé OK, before you get your hopes up, I have to tell you that I’m 99 per cent convinced that the perfect guy does not exist. However, there is hope. As it turns out, there are women on this planet who are 99 per cent convinced that they have met the perfect guy. When asked to write an article about the ideal man, I instantly knew that this piece required some serious research. So I have been pestering women around me for the last two weeks to find out what they think are the secret ingredients that constitute the perfect guy. Let’s get down to business and have a look at the small sample of information I have gathered. The perfect guy is funny but not silly, confident but not arrogant, caring but not overprotective, supportive but not bossy, a gentleman but not patronising, empathetic but not whiny. Furthermore he is reliable, honest, intelligent, interesting, successful, athletic, creative, outgoing, well dressed, good looking, clean and of course, his mum is his role model. In the last two weeks, I have heard countless different adjectives thrown around. And to make things worse, I have mainly referred to characteristics rather than looks. Don’t worry boys, I won’t go there, it would just be more depressing than November in Keele.
priorities have shifted. In all honesty though, how many of you girls have been with a guy that was perfectly lovely, but had that sneaking suspicion that there is someone just that bit more ideal out there? However, reality can quickly show its ugly face and instead of fairly perfect you could easily end up with nothing at all. It often appears that we as girls have completely forgotten two very important things. Firstly, we have forgotten the need to compromise forced on us by the knowledge that the ideal man is a fundamentally contradictory concept. Secondly, we forget that we might not be too perfect ourselves. By that I don’t mean that we have to abandon all our wishes and expectations and jump onto the next guy who drunkenly states that our dress looks nice – only that we have to think carefully about what really is important to us and which boxes definitely have to be ticked and which ones are optional. We have to learn to prioritise.
Maybe too many of us follow the illusion that perfection is what is unattainable, something you always aim for but will never get. For the sake of our sanity we have to start to rethink. To paraphrase a song, in all this idealistic searching for what we want, if we try sometimes we just might find that we get what we need. Could it be just as simple as So, I wondered, did women always have these end- that? Maybe not, but I guess we have no other choice less shopping lists or has our generation of females than to see what happens. simply gone mad? To many women before us, the perfect guy was someone who would provide financial stability, a good home and a nice car. Well, now we can get money, a house and a Ferrari ourselves so it seems that the priorities
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ccess Evelynne Lam’s Keys to Su Advice is vital; we take it as a means to improve our lives and hope that it will transform and solve our problems. To live a well-rounded life and make the best of what we have, cultivating a good attitude is needed. To that end, I offer you my own personal advice to help you live better in terms of work, study and health. Work Eventually, it will be our turn to enter society. It is feasible that we will be trapped within the boundaries of freedom and construction imposed by working companies and employers. Gaining the freedom of sovereignty is beautiful but it is not enough to only obtain this sense of autonomy over ourselves; a totally free society would be topsy-turvy and only within agreed-upon structures and limitations can freedom be safely enjoyed. Still, we are able to nurture freedom under construction and rules. For instance, we can create grounds for dialogue through exchanging and accepting diverse opinions from groups in a civilised way. This is the prelude to change. Nowadays, we throw light upon democracy and collectivity. So, we should seek the balance between order and freedom; between personal liberty and social stability.
Health Living by ourselves gives us autonomy and independence. The effects of staying up late, drinking and smoking every day and night simply remind us of the need for discipline. Undergraduates are meant to learn and develop their mindsets throughout their university experience with all sorts of new, exciting and fresh temptations nearby. Undoubtedly, we are still under the process of learning and our hearts might be pliable; yet if we hold firm to our beliefs and think before we leap, we would be able to take care not only of our health, but also our lives.
Study It is normal for us to feel powerless when having deadlines for all kinds of assignments approaching. I think perseverance, passion and bravery equip us to be winners. Perseverance indicates the strength of one’s mind to go against negative emotions. When encountering stress, criticism or even boredom, we should try to recall or create a strong faith and belief in our hearts. They act as our reserve in overcoming obstructions. The mind is so powerful that our experiencesand emotions can be reinterpreted and transformed. The more we undergo, the more we learn. We cannot assume everything to be pleasing but happiness is free, if we want it to be. Passion lays down the cornerstone for success, it enables us to engage, pursue and dream. Doing something wholeheartedly help us soar high. Failures are unavoidable but in the meantime, we would be very likely to stand up from the point which we fall off. In the pursuit of our desired dream and happiness, even when our hope is frail, there is at least a foothold in us that keeps us going and dreaming big. With bravery, we set out to give things a try. In this world, nothing is guaranteed. However, the moment we should focus on is this one: it is now. It is a gift when we have support and favourable circumstances around us. We should grasp every opportunity and do our best to make the most of them. If we never try, we will never know. Developing this kind of thought in our minds would greatly help us trace a better path to go forward, despite controlling by unexpected forces in life. This ‘advice’ is not new to most of us but sometimes we just need to be reminded. Last but not least, I wish you all good luck and every success in the future as a well-rounded person. 6
The Well Rounded Myth Have you ever seen a short guy with dark spiky hair and round shoulders marching very quickly around campus with his head determinedly bowed to the floor? When he looks up you see two crazy eyes staring right past you and you think that this guy is maybe just a little bit mental. That guy, according to several concerned friends who have halted this crazy person in his tracks, is me. If you’ve ever smiled at me on campus and I’ve looked contemptuously through you, it wasn’t deliberate, I promise. I just walk around like that apparently. I major in awkwardness; it’s my specialist subject at Keele. I am the Awkward King. I want to do my Masters in Avoiding Eye Contact but in these troubled times, getting funding looks doubtful. What prompted this sudden burst of Freudian selfloathing? I’d been thinking about what I could cobble together for the Concourse writing deadline so Andy and Nici (Chief Writers Extraordinaire) didn’t get angry, and I remembered that in our staff meeting we decided to go for a theme of what it means to be “a well-rounded person”. So I chewed my pencil and screwed up my seventh piece of paper (I don’t recycle because I’m a very bad person) and realised that I have no idea what “well-rounded” means. I imagine that a well-rounded person is probably someone who gets up at six in the morning, goes jogging, drinks protein shakes, attends all their lectures, plays a generic sport or sports, can sing, dance, pull people (or hold down a ‘long-term’ relationship on Facebook) and still have time to whack out a first class essay before going for an evening jog and attending Popular Society (as well as the Popular Society socials on Wednesday night). Perhaps our well-rounded person also has a part-time job and still finds time to do charity work one day a week and visit grandma on Sunday – possibly with flowers. I’m confident they also have what are known as “key skills” and “transferable skills”, and can re-boot and
re-programme a computer using a pair of tweezers and a few pipe cleaners. That’s what all these brochures and “Action Plans” and “Crash” sessions keep telling me. Truth is, I get up at seven thirty with considerable difficulty, and I cough and light a cigarette whilst congratulating myself for getting up without thwacking the snooze button. I haven’t played football (competitive or kick-around) for several years and I don’t think protein shakes are very nice. When it comes down to it, I am just a very uncomfortable, awkward, and everso-slightly lazy person who doesn’t quite know where the train is headed, all I know is I’m on it and it’s not going so fast that I feel sick. I reckon that’s what being young really is, and I think “wellrounded” people are myths and fantasies. Every journalist, commentator and (help us all) ‘expert’ is telling us how we can be perfect, the best! Life is evolutionary; we make progress as we bungle through. Perhaps I’ll be “well-rounded” when I’m sixty, for now I’m comfortable just being awkward.
By Andy Irwin
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udent Diary of a Well-Rounded St
By Shaun Dooley
It has recently come to my attention that I will one day need to be ‘employable’ and that apparently there is only so far one can get with a bronze twenty metre swimming certificate. In a desperate bid to bolster my CV, I spent the past week taking part in as many societies, extra-curricular activities and careers events as possible. Here’s how it went:
training with I spend Monday . I don’t make the cricket team ve a lot of fun the team but ha Afterwards I in the process. ading courtesy visit a poetry re . It’s not quite of Keele Writing ts but there’s bongos and bere e and a lot of a nice atmospher start for home friendly faces. I ll of ideas and with a head fu row’s seminar. plans for tomor get caught up Unfortunately I u law society in an imprompt ion! social - to the un
On Tuesday I sleep well in to the afternoon, waking to e-mail my seminar tutor and say that I can’t make it in because, well… I do feel ill. Having freed up some time I can now make it to the careers service’s session on ‘Tackling Application Forms.’ It proves very useful and leaves me miles ahead of the curve when it comes to job applications. Later that evening I sing my heart out at Symphonia show choir. A social follows of course, but I can’t remember a great deal of that unfortunately.
Thursday finds me still gripping a pub-golf scorecard with the hangover of the century. I sleep for a little bit longer, and then a little later still. When I can move my head again I get ready for Folk Club in the KPA. Breaking the first rule of Folk Club - you do not talk about Folk Club - I can tell you that they are a bunch of friendly ‘folk’ playing relaxed acoustic music in a nice pub setting. Later I go to KRAP’s (Keele Rock Appreciation Posse) union event for a somewhat alternative union night. I have a few drinks, and a few drinks more.
ally make it to On Wednesday I fin gist in the first a lecture. I get the epare for the hour and leave to pr st my show in rest of the day. I ho BE radio, the the afternoon on KU sion revolving main point of discus real and the around breakfast ce ems to be that general consensus se e best with the Tony the Tiger is th echaun a close Lucky Charms lepr ally do some second. I should re - anything but reading or sleeping I head to Horgo out - but soon icket team sowood Bar for the cr late, and am cial, arrive a little dless amount punished with an en of shots.
On Friday my mother, my br ain and various lect urers tell me to sort myself out. I spend the mor ning lying on the grass feeding th e squirrels and I st art to think abou t my degree. I thin k I may have over done it a little this week.
There’s so much to get stuck into in Keele and so many ways to broaden your horizons, but I’m beginning to think I need to take it easier next week. Maybe slow and steady wins the race; it’s no good making yourself stand out in other departments if you’re too shattered to complete your degree...
Nightline is the name given to confidential and anonymous listening, emotional support and information service. Each night from 9pm-3pm Keele students run a service solely for students that can listen to your problems about anything or provide you with those well needed taxi or takeaway numbers you need at 2 in the morning. We at Keele Nightline appreciate what a difficult transition it can be when you move to university so please make sure you that you make a note of our number as really no problem is too small..its even FREE to ring from internal phones!
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Geek Would Like To Meet... By Samuel Fiddler In our universe, there are a multitude of beliefs, opinions, theories and concepts. No single human being or dolphin could ever expect to digest and retain all of these. There is a finite volume of data an animal’s brain can store. Eventually, the mind will become constipated with knowledge and some form of laxative will have to be taken in order to rid themselves of a few meaningless bytes of knowledge, such as a spouse’s name or mother’s birthday. We cannot expect the average person to be brilliant at everything in life. We just expect them to be, for lack of better words, well-rounded. But why do people want this well-roundedness? Is it that it offers comfort to couples, knowing that the flaws keep the partner from leaving the relationship for another? Is it that the imperfections allow the relationship to flourish, growing like bacteria between the cracks on a kitchen counter? Why is it that any “perfection” is plastered all over Facebook for the rest of the un-caring world to know? Why is it that I’ve focused on relationships? Rather than the fact that I’m listening to Damien Rice and Jeff Buckley, it’s most likely that I’m too well-rounded, if there is such an idea. Without blowing my own horn and without sounding like a lonelyhearts advert in the local paper, I speak three languages, play a few instruments and like to cook. On the other hand I tend to fail exams, have a bad dress sense and my hair is messy. But what I don’t seem to understand is why girls are put off by the fact that I can recite the Star Wars series backwards; how being able to impersonate a dinosaur is not sexy; why programming is not an attractive skill and when is being able to count to 31 on your right hand not a turn-on? I’m told by my lady friends that there are women out there who would love to date a quirky, intelligent and unique guy such as myself, and I think “great, fantastic, awesome - where are these ladies?” Seriously, where are they? I go to all the places these people are meant to inhabit, but believe me, trying to “pull” in the quiet areas of the library is not easy. According to physics, there’s more of a chance that a girl spontaneously appears next to me right now.
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In the wise words of Albert Einstein, “the most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible”. Maybe I’m not supposed to understand all this; maybe I’m supposed to let things run their course and maybe I have to just sit back and relax, but where’s the fun in that? So all of you who are reading this, empathising with me, get up, grab your coat, walk out that door and meet people. On that note, I’m off out. Rather than the fact that I’m listening to Damien Rice and Jeff Buckley, it’s most likely that I’m too well-rounded, if there is such an idea. Without blowing my own horn and without sounding like a lonelyhearts advert in the local paper, I speak three languages, play a few instruments and like to cook. On the other hand I tend to fail exams, have a bad dress sense and my hair is messy. But what I don’t seem to understand is why girls are put off by the fact that I can recite the Star Wars series backwards; how being able to impersonate a dinosaur is not sexy; why programming is not an attractive skill and when is being able to count to 31 on your right hand not a turn-on? I’m told by my lady friends that there are women out there who would love to date a quirky, intelligent and unique guy such as myself, and I think “great, fantastic, awesome - where are these ladies?” Seriously, where are they? I go to all the places these people are meant to inhabit, but believe me, trying to “pull” in the quiet areas of the library is not easy. According to physics, there’s more of a chance that a girl spontaneously appears next to me right now. In the wise words of Albert Einstein, “the most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible”. Maybe I’m not supposed to understand all this; maybe I’m supposed to let things run their course and maybe I have to just sit back and relax, but where’s the fun in that? So all of you who are reading this, empathising with me, get up, grab your coat, walk out that door and meet people. On that note, I’m off out.
Sam...
for Money Primark, Ethics and Value Primark - love it or hate it, we can’t escape it! Whether you agree or disagree with their codes of conduct, it's probably safe to say that every person in Britain owns at least one item of Primark clothing and has therefore added to their ever growing profits. But is Primark really as amazing as it’s made out to be? Yes, they offer an affordable way to fill a closet but just to what lengths has this company gone to make us buy their clothes?
“Being the naïve 15 year old I was when I first went into Primark, I expected a glorious glowing paradise...” Let's be honest: it is hard to resist their gloriously cheap clothing. I myself have some Primark knockoffs, which to some makes me seem like the scum of the earth! To others, it is an amazing way to look fabulous without the hefty price tag you would otherwise expect. To hear that a friend's skirt or a pair of jeans only cost a fiver does cause a little envy to rear its head, but what are the hidden costs of making this possible? The factory employee’s wages? Working conditions? To be honest, when you’re in the middle of the rush to grab the latest plaid shirt, you are bound to forget or cast aside the idea of unfair wages, blinded by the sheer affordability of everything in sight. But stop a moment, because there's more to consider: yes that shirt looks amazing on you. But its quality? Questionable. You'll wear it a lot, but how long will it last you? Not long. The factors pointing us away from Primark are plentiful especially when considering quality. The fact that the pair of skinny jeans cost £7 is amazing but in the last 6 months I believe I have ripped through at least 3 pairs of the Primark skinny jeans, that’s £21 which could have contributed to the purchase of a good quality pair from stores such as Topshop and New Look, which not only do amazing clothes inspired by the runway, but also leave you safe in the knowledge that your clothes are not going to fall apart within the first fortnight.
Some would argue that these problems affect most stores, rather than just Primark. So where is the real benefit of paying more for our clothes? One answer could be that even if it's a struggle to buy economically and ethically, paying more has a benefit in terms of improving the overall shopping experience. Picture the scene: a typical day in Primark. Hundreds of people grabbing for the same items, jumpers covering the floors, shoes thrown haphazardly back onto piles of other clothes - and don’t even get me started on the changing rooms! One word for you ladies and gentlemen: carnage! Being the naïve 15 year old I was when I first went into Primark, I expected a glorious glowing paradise full of £2 shoes and top of the trend jackets. Lo and behold, it was not the heavenly scene I had envisioned, but a swamp of chaos and half broken racks. It's a grim reality, but it's a cheap one we seem willing to accept, even if it is a far cry from the more comfortable experience of the more expensive stores. The most recent addition to the Primark offence list is the accusation that they shred unwanted and damaged clothes. If they have a surplus of items, that’s what charity shops are for! I can't tell you to completely stop shopping at Primark, because if I’m honest, I probably won’t. But next time you do go, just remember the hidden costs, remember a child’s unreasonable wages. Think: can I get it somewhere else? Probably; not to mention at better quality, giving a fair salary to the worker. Even in these times, it isn't all about the price tag.
By Nicol a Hobbs
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e AIDS: Not Just a Gay Diseas By Dom Moore On the 1st of December this year the world over will participate in the 23rd World AIDS Day. Observed December 1st each year, it is dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection. What is now HIV (Human immunodeficiency virus) used to have a different name. Originally called GRID, it stood for Gay-Related Immune Deficiency. This was due to scientists in the 1980s noticing that a large amount of the infected were gay males and the key source of transmission is anal-sex. It's much more likely to happen this way because the lining of the anus is more easily damaged than the lining of a vagina, and skin in general - which are much more resistant. When damaged, human bodily fluids (blood, semen, etc) can be transferred from one individual to the other much more easily. So the simple answer is - always wear a condom! The idea that HIV is a “gay disease” has been around for a long time, and it is a misconception that must be challenged. Even today there are still people who believe that HIV is restricted to homosexuals, but unfortunately it’s not, anyone and everyone is at risk. This misconception is reflected in the National Blood Services refusal to accept gay and bi-sexual men’s blood regardless of whether they have had safe or unsafe sex. There is no denying that HIV is a very dangerous and wide spread disease, here are some statistics to show just how widespread HIV and AIDS is in the U.K By the end of 2005, 63,500 adults aged 15 to 59 were estimated to be living with HIV in the United Kingdom. This figure includes diagnosed people and 20,100 who were unaware of their infection. However, the numbers of AIDS diagnoses and deaths in HIV-infected individuals declined after the introduction of effective combination therapy in 1996.
cause of illness and death in a person with HIV is not the virus itself, but illnesses to which the virus has made the person vulnerable. But HIV is no longer a death sentence. If caught early enough it is possible to live a completely healthy and normal life. That is why it is so important to get tested regardless of sexual orientation. On average it takes between 30 days to 3 months for HIV to become detectable in the body, although there are tests that can be taking 10 days after exposure, these have a much smaller accuracy rate, compared to the 90 day test which is thought to be 99.9% accurate. HIV testing does not involve any embarrassing procedures, all that’s needed is a simple blood sample. Tests are available from your G.P or if you’d prefer you can go to your local GUM clinic. Be warned that if you do get tested at your G.P then your results will go on your permanent medical record which could affect things like health insurance regardless of the outcome of the test. The best place to go would be your local GUM clinic. You can either book an appointment or they do have walk-in times. If you book on the phone all you need to give is a name and date of birth, you can use your own or a fake one, either way it is all confidential and your personal doctor will not be told about the test without your permission. In and around Keele University there are several places to go to for help: The surgery on campus offers HIV testing, although you must be registered: 01782 753550 Newcastle –under-Lyme’s GUM clinic which can be contacted on: 01782 554205. It is located in the out-patients department at the University Hospital of North Staffordshire which is less than 10 minutes away by car and it is also on the number 25 bus route. The walk in times are Monday to Friday 9-11am and 2-3pm. Alternatively you can just book an appointment which will usually be within two days, they are very flexible. The clinics opening times Monday 9am-7pm, Tuesday to Friday 9am-5pm, closed on weekends.
More recent statistics show that in 2008 there were 7,298 people were diagnosed with HIV in the U.K, out of this only 2760 diagnoses were gay and bi-sexual men. Infections acquired heterosexually have accounted for much of the rapid rise in the numbers of new HIV diagnoses (4,049 in 2005 compared to 840 in 1996) although there has also been an increase in the number of diag- HIV is a serious illness and it is now estimated that 33.4 million people are living with it worldwide. We noses among gay and bi-sexual men. must do all we can to help those in need so please HIV is not a direct killer, it can lie dormant in the body head down to the union and pick up a red ribbon to for many years until it develops and becomes AIDS. AIDS show your support. I hope that this article has helped is also not a direct killer, instead it destroys your im- disperse some of the myths surrounding HIV and has mune system until it becomes so weak that you could giving you all the information you need. If you need die of anything from pneumonia to a cold. To say that anymore advice then please speak to myself or Nikki a person has AIDS means they have one or more of a list Cooper (VP Education and Welfare). of otherwise usually rare illnesses as a result of the breakdown of the body’s immune system. Usually the 13
KUSU at the NUS Demonstration - 10/11/10
10 R.I.P. Chillwave 2009 – 20 Genres and scenes come and go in music. Some arouse my interest, some don’t at all, but none has ever annoyed me quite like chillwave. Picture the scene: years in the future, a pop culture-obsessed grandchild might ask, “Gran-pappy Norris, what were the people who listened to chillwave like?” I’ll sit back and ponder for a while, leaning back in a rocking chair on the porch, and eventually I’ll have to stay, “Well child, I just can’t tell you...” Why will this be my answer? Because, kids, there never was a scene in the first place. Before we see why, let us look at just which acts are ostensibly surfing this wave of chill.
grouping together sonically similar acts, then calling it a genre with its own scene, with others even more lazily accepting this assertion and using it. This scene is so artificially contrived that it even has a specific birth date and time of death. No other scene is so spurious: chillwave was christened on July 27th 2009 by the blog Hipster Runoff and declared dead by an unnamed, musical coroner/journalist from culture and lifestyle magazine Vice at 9:44 (GMT) on October 28th 2010.
“Like so many such labels, “chillwave” is a fiction, a vapid construction.” Washed Out (AKA Ernest Greene) was the act proclaimed the “poster boy of chillwave”. Greene’s project features laptop drum lines as a platform for distorted synths and chopped up vocals, creating a form of downbeat but danceable pop. Toro Y Moi have a sound that can only be described as cut-andpaste - drums, vocals and synths sprinkled over an ambient, pop-inspired laptop-programmed backing. Memory Tapes, meanwhile, apply minimalist synth over repetitive digital beats and electronic bass. Hopefully you’re getting the picture right about now; it’s all a bit poppy and ambient, with a big shoegaze and lo-fi influence thrown in – and essentially it all sounds the same. But what, you may ask, is my problem? “It's just a few ambient pop bands Tom, chill!” The sad crux of the matter is that chillwave was never really a scene but rather a fad – a few lazy bloggers and journalists
Washed Out (AKA Ernest Greene) These acts and others like them aren’t forming a new rounded, complete music scene; they don’t come from one place, they don't have a distinct fashion and ideological viewpoint. They are just a few bands making laid back ambient pop music, which should be classified only as pop, since that is essentially what it is. Like so many such labels, “chillwave” is a fiction, a vapid construction. So thank you hipster bloggers of the world, for once again needlessly wasting time categorising and overanalysing bands so you can claim to have discovered a new genre - I salute you. Personally I’m off to listen to the new minimal-gospel-psychedelicvampirewave compilation, because that’s a real genre, I should know - I discovered it. It’s on my blog!
By Tom Norris
The Benefits of Plants As many of you budding biologists and indeed anyone with knowledge of how plants function will know, having plants around you is good for your health. Whether it be a herb garden decorating your window sill providing useful ingredients for whatever culinary student delights you’re concocting, a venus fly trap to get rid of those distracting insects or even a spot of guerrilla gardening around Keele; growing your own helps! Having plants around does more than brighten up your room. Studies by institutes such as NASA have found that plants can improve air quality, removing up to 87% of air toxins within a day whilst improving concentration and working productivity. So if you’re brilliant at procrastinating, fear not, plants could be the answer. Decreasing the likelihood of headaches, stress, fatigue, coughs and sore throats are but a few of the proven benefits of surrounding yourself with plants, due to the increase in humidity and reduction in dust. Research by Bruno Cortis - a Chicago cardiologist - has suggested that hospital patients with a garden view recover quicker than those without, and has even gone as far as showing that having plants in close proximity makes people calmer and more upbeat. So whether it be worries about deadlines, relationships, illness or just about anything else, get your green fingers on down to the nearest garden centre, or even just order some seeds online and transform your room in to the dream garden you’ve always wanted! 16
By Jack Mills Davidson
By Brendan Rodgers Hellooooo Keele! This year has the distinct feel of a good year doesn’t it? I don’t know if you’ve felt it – but I certainly have. A distinct shiver of the spine, that almost makes you look up and say “today feels like a good day” only- it seems to be more permanent than that. Yep – something is in the air at Keele – maybe we’ve got a particularly good influx of Freshers this year, or maybe its something astrological but I’m excited for us all. One of the things, which feels different from previous years- is the social aspect. It’s a very new generation of people that call Keele home, there are fewer “hangers on” and more fresh faces. I’ll also go as far as to shout out to the Sabbs who are a particularly good bunch as far as Sabbatical Officers go. A nice aspect of Keele, is the “Keele Bubble” and no, I do not mean the little room attached to the K2 nightclub! Most Keele veterans will be aware of what I mean – for the less initiated of you I shall explain: The Keele Bubble is the effect that such an isolated campus community creates- Keele sometimes seems to house its own weather system compared to Newcastle, Silverdale and Stoke – but more importantly, we are all in this bubble together. The social life is such that means we all know what is happening and it is likely you will reach a point during your degree when you can’t cross campus without waving or saying hello to more than five people. It means that parties, celebrations and holidays become all that much more emphasised! This year, the celebration of Diwali will happen on the same day as the anniversary of Guy Fawkes’ death. By the time this article comes out, this will have been and gone; double celebrations/commemorations are always reason to party extra hard. The fact that some will be celebrating the Festival of Light and others will be having a drink to commemorate the almost-explosive happenings of 1605 underlines the variety of events observed at Keele. To top it off, KUSU Ents look like they are lining up a spectacular winter party; the societies and clubs of Keele seem to be off to a great start and Keele’s social scene is overactive, as it should be!
I’m in a pro-Keele mood – can you tell? While I’ve been on this (probably unnatural) high, I’ve been in touch with different Keelites asking them “why they are excited about this year at Keele”. Some asked to stay anonymous, while others were more than happy to give me some sound bites! “I’m excited about mulled wine & reindeer” – Sam Higham “I’m excited about Keele this year, because of the gluten free macaroons in Select and Save :)” –Surya Bajracharia “I just love the new things that are out of sight but right around the corner – the mystery of tomorrow is awesome!” – Nona Mehere “Winterfest and all things christmastastic at Keele!” – Vinnie Moomin “I’ve already made loads of new friends this year – it can only get better” – Iwond Erhoo “I’m excited because I’m no longer slave to the union! :D” – Adam Mason “I’m looking forward to Keele this year because of courage found given to me by Keele friends of old, to seek new challenges and opportunities.” – Vicky Jones Quotes like these sum up how much there is to look forward to as a new year begins at Keele. No matter who you are - whether you are a first year student looking towards another few years living in “the bubble” or if you’re a seasoned veteran leaving at the end of this year, there is still so much around the corner. Remember that we’re in the thick of it all now – and the challenge is to enjoy ourselves as we go. As I went into (if lightly) in Mood:Nostalgic last issue, Keele is full of quirky tales that happen from time to time. It occurred to me that most of this may occur behind closed doors- because the quirkiest of stories rarely happen in the communal space of our student’s union. Do you have any funny halls stories? If so get on Twitter! @MOODKEELE wants to hear your views! 17
Stand Up (for) Comics By Andy Johnson Imagine a fan of comic books and what do you come up with – a sardonic, obsessive recluse like Comic Book Guy from the The Simpsons? You're all intelligent people; you'll realise that there is much more to comic book fans than that, and that there is much more going on in comics themselves than the capeswishing superheroism that has dominated much of Hollywood's output these last few years. But I wonder how much you really know about this unfashionthink comics are just for guys then you might be inable medium. terested to know that Neil Gaiman's acclaimed series “Whilst one strip might simply excite, others The Sandman is widely thought of as the comics seare carefully calculated to terrify, amuse, or ries that is most popular with women and is one of even to make you think about big issues” many things that might be worth a look. Did you know, for example, that comics don't just come from America and Japan but that distinct comics forms have also emerged from Hong Kong, South Korea, continental Europe and the UK? How much do you know about something like Watchmen, the seminal late '80s comics series, adapted into a film by Zack Snyder last year, which ingeniously subverted the superhero archetype and which was written by Alan Moore, the comics writing genius who rarely leaves Nottingham? Although comics are a visual medium, there is more to them than meets the eye. Far from being centred around the “biff!” and “pow!” of '60s Superman strips, different comics are designed to evoke as many different emotions as film or literature. Whilst one strip might simply excite, others are carefully calculated to terrify, amuse, or even to make you think about big issues like the environment and political philosophy, while being entertaining at the same time.
Sometimes it can seem like comics are irrelevant or inaccessible because whilst they're everywhere in the US, they're hard to come by here. But in fact, comics are hiding in plain sight. The legendary weekly British comics anthology 2000AD – in which futuristic lawman Judge Dredd has appeared uninterrupted since 1977 – is available right here on campus in the newsagent, which also stocks Marvel UK's monthly reprints of American Wolverine, Deadpool and Fantastic Four stories. On top of that, not only does the campus bookshop stock a healthy selection of US, British and Japanese comic collections but they're right near the front door! Then of course there are the many free webcomics to consider, and in-house cartoonist Liam Eddleston's regular contributions to Concourse, naturally.
So next time you've a gap between lectures and could do with some light reading to offset the textbooks, at least consider forgoing your usual diet of newspapers and magazines to pick up a comic or two. Who knows, if enough of us do it we might even Even the most cursory look at today's comics market feel brave enough to stop hiding comics inside other reveals that there really is something for everyone publications while we read them... here's hoping, and that comics aren't just for kids. And girls, if you eh?
Cartoon by Liam Eddleston
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Officer... Update from The Entertainments By Vinnie Moomin
Hai. I Hope you’ve enjoyed the nights out at KUSU so far. It’s my 3rd year at Keele and I can honestly say Halloween 2010 (The Monsters’ Forest Ball) at KUSU has to be the best Halloween night at Keele I’ve experienced, we had live bands, a horde of students dressed up as well as some of the bar staff and a massive Jäger truck parked outside. If you thought the Halloween party was the best, you are sadly mistaken as Winterfest will top it. KUSU Entertainments is going all out to make sure you have an amazing and fun time if you attend Winterfest. It will be completely Christmastastical, there will be: reindeer, an ice rink, a snow cannon – basically, the entire car park will be turned into a mini fun fair :). ELLIE GOULDING will be doing a DJ set and there will be a party band playing the best Christmas tunes you can think of. Winterfest tickets are £12 and on sale from the KUSU Box Office, buy your ticket now or miss out! I want to say a big thank you to the Ents Team Volunteers who helped draw and paint Oompa Loompas and sweets for flirt!, who helped transform the SU for Halloween into a Monsters’ Union and who helped with flyering and sticking up posters for our many events. I’d also like to give a special mention Sarah Chetwyn for the help she’s given Ents this semester. Do you think you’re helpful, reliable and want to get involved with KUSU Entertainments? Then give me a message:www.facebook/KUSUENTERTAINMENTSOFFICER, come along to the weekly Entertainments Meetings or simply come and say hi if you spot me in the Union. NOVEMBER Saturday 20th: Something To Do/Big Screen HD Sport & Big Screen TV Sunday 21st: Live Lounge Monday 22nd: K2 Lockdown Tuesday 23rd: Pool Comp Wednesday 24th: Wednesday Night Project Thursday 25th: KRAP/Quiz Friday 26th: Get Funked Saturday 27th: Keele’s Got Talent Sunday 28th: Karaoke Monday 29th: Massive Monday Tuesday 30th: Keele Comedy Network
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Fay manages KUSU ’s Independant Ad vice Unit (IAU) which prov ides FREE, confid en ti al and impartial advice on academic, pe rsonal and financial issues. Drop in between 1-4pm to arrange an appointment! You can fi nd the IAU on th e to p floor of the students unio n. Alternatively em ail your queries to : independent.ad vice.unit@keele. ac.uk In this regular se ction we publish a selection of the frequent ques tions that Fay an d her team deal with around the time of public ation.
year se and not a lot else really. I am now in my final I have been concentrating really hard on my cour to ing start now am I really got anything else on my CV. and have to make this year count, but I haven’t have I? panic, as I haven’t got any time to do much else,
Well, you are right, just a degree isn’t enough any more. You need more on your CV than your degree, but there is time. I would suggest that you think about volunteering, you don’t have to make a regular commitment; there are plenty of opportunities to get involved in one off events, which you can fit around your studies. See the article 'Employability at Keele' for more options. I have still not got my full student loan , I have phoned Student Finance England and they are telling me rubbish, I hav e spoken to three people, all have give n me different information none of which I think is right. What can I do?
We can help. The frontline teams (those on the end of the phone when you ring) at SFE may not be able to give you the information you need. We can give you the answers you are looking for and help you liaise with SFE. The Student Funding Office can help if you have bills to pay while you are waiting for your loan. I hate the house I am liv ing in and want ou t. I have heard I can ge t a room on campus, so can I just move out? It depends on what type of contract you have signed for the house. If you have signed for a fixed term, then it may not be easy to walk away. Bring a copy of your contract (if you have one) to the Unit and we can advise you about what your options are. 20
ial? Employability at Keele University: what makes you so spec This article is based on the Keele University Unistats statement published on the Unistats website unistats.direct.gov.uk/. This statement was developed by Keele in conjunction with a number of departments/representatives across the University, including the Advice Unit. Keele historically has been committed to give students a different kind of educational experience. This is still happening today and its commitment stretches beyond just the degree, into employability skills and delivering various options for you to make the most of your time here. You can capitalize on what you are getting from your degree as well as what’s being delivered in the 'co-curriculum', the wider student experience. A good mix of both makes for a 'well rounded' student. Keele wants to make sure that you have been exposed to opportunities which give you a lifelong love of learning, a reflective approach to your life, chance to get the most from all your experiences, self-belief, self-direction and motivation, honesty and sincerity, keeping your word and being true to what you believe in. Whilst you have been on the Keele journey you should have had opportunities to make a difference to the community, or communities in which you belong, being able to lead, inspire, motivate and support others to achieve goals, to develop effective written and spoken communication for a variety of audiences and purposes, care and respect for others, a commitment to community, sustainability and contributing to the wider good and a global, cultural and environmental awareness. Hopefully, by the time you finish you should have an ability to assess, to make sense of your world; breadth of knowledge and understanding, appreciating the value of a range of perspectives, discovering, creating and sharing knowledge, creative problem-solving using a range of approaches and techniques, thinking for yourself and having the confidence to present your ideas to others. You may not realize that these are things that you will be picking up along the way, or you may feel like the above describes students other than yourself. However, when you stop and think about the nature of the modules you have been studying, they way they have been structured, and how they have been delivered, what is on offer at Keele, you should have been exposed to these concepts, it is how you use them which is going to make a difference to what happens when you leave Keele. Individual programmes contain distinctive features designed to enhance employability, if you aren’t sure how yours is, all you have to do is ask, check with your School or with Careers. The Keele journey, however long will be as rich as you make it, once you have made sure you have grabbed Keele for all it’s worth and taken advantage of as much of what’s on offer, you then need to shout about it, tell the world why you are special. Do this, and you will become the ‘well rounded’ student employers are looking for. Don’t waste the opportunities, but don’t be frightened into thinking you have left it too late, you haven’t, there’s always ways you can enhance your experience, you just have to make the move. You can translate what skills you have learned in your degree into job applications and covering letters. You can add to this by developing your employability skills through the co-curriculum. Opportunities for a wider Keele experience include: * Work experience and placement opportunities * Volunteering and the Keele Link programme * Students’ Union and student-led activities (student societies, student representation) * Career and employment planning (Keele Careers Service, Job Shop, frequent career development events, Personal Development Planning support) * Skills rich elective modules (languages, personal and professional development, sustainability, entrepre neurship) * The opportunity to spend a semester abroad at a partner university as part of your degree * The opportunity to study a modern language through your whole degree * Opportunities to develop entrepreneurial skills (Speed West Midlands and Enterprise Fellowship Scheme, Students in Free Enterprise, Bizcom) * Professionally accredited programmes
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Keele Drama Society Keele Drama Society is arguably one of the most fun and active societies in all of KUSU! We stage five productions a year, with previous plays having included The Merchant of Venice, An Inspector Calls, Dracula and The Matchmaker. We also stage an annual charity event, our One Act Festival, its proceeds going to charities in the local area outside of Keele. Our most recent contribution was to the local anti-domestic violence charity ARCH. Obviously we urge all budding actors to join, but we'll always be on the lookout for those who want to work on the other side of the stage, and there is so much you can do – tech and lighting, backstage work, front-of-house, publicity and even costume. We hold regular socials ranging from casual drinks and gossip to those all-out fancy dress nights. Far more than just 'Ring of Fire' and 'I Have Never…', our socials are geared around drama games, and there are nights out to the theatre in the pipeline. Our next production, following our current version of Ibsen's "A Doll's House", will be our annual studentwritten play, which this year will be David J. Cooke and Mark Fahmy's 'Sequins and Shotguns', a camp farce about murderous drag queens. It is guaranteed to be a great show for everyone, and will be running in K2 early December, so keep a look out. We're also going to be holding a series of drama workshops this year, which will include a stage combat workshop led by a qualified expert in stage-fighting! It really is never too late to join Keele Drama Society and if you want to get involved then don’t hesitate! We look forward to seeing you.
By Dav id Cooke
Keele Rock Appreciation Posse For the friendliest, the loudest and the heaviest drinking society on campus you will need to refer directly to KRAP – so says the society’s president, anyway. However his argument is certainly not without its strengths and membership can mean serious bargains. For one thing, there’s the potential for cheap entry to a variety of locations in Newcastle-under-Lyme and Hanley, as well as to K2 for 'Kerplunk', the event the society hosts there every second Thursday, often with a theme for the occasion. Their most recent fancy dress nights have included The Dead Oscars (for Halloween) and Astronauts versus Dinosaurs. In June, KRAP hold their annual mini music festival which attracts larger and larger crowds every year. You can't argue that these guys don’t have seriously good times… Alongside these attractions for new members, there are special drink offers and freebies to be had at Horwood Bar, the setting for KRAP’s Tuesday night socials, which are now attended with almost religious fervour. Don't think this society is strictly about the heavy metal, because KRAP will prove you wrong - especially at Kerplunk where the playlist includes a variety of ska, rock, indie and punk from throughout the ages, and if you're still not happy you can be the DJ. Think KRAP sounds like the ideal mix of music and freebies? One devout affiliate I spoke to certainly thought so, declaring on a Tuesday night at the bar that this was the first time she'd been absolutely drunk in a month, and she chose especially to do it at KRAP. Doesn’t that say it all?
By Gwen Smith
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By Alison Carter As the term continues to fly by and work pressures increase it seems only fair that we students allow ourselves time to relax by indulging in a spot of television. The three programmes I have chosen are, frankly, particularly mindless and moronic. They’re definitely not intellectually stimulating - and could in fact kill off a few of your brain cells - but with any luck they will have you in stitches. Behold:
The Only Way is Essex
The Wedding House
w folEach week four coup Found on ITV Player, this sho les enter the of ns tio ho use and are able to ch lows the trials and tribula oose whatple ever theme they wish a group of rich, attractive peo for their wedtive ding to be centred with a seemingly low collec around, their s wa I g dr ea win ms vie t br firs ou my gh t On to IQ. reality by the indiWedding Team including doubtful as to whether these Cynthia the ople, registrar and the ev viduals are actually real pe er-so-slightly ed camp wedding planner. but I have been reliably inform A sixty year s ion sat old naturist couple that they are. The conver went for a ted bondage theme (slightly within the group are domina uncomfortto d ten ab le viewing), whilst ot and rs by one word answe her ideas and have included 101 Dalmatians, Alice centre on looks, money ever in Wonderland an d Dirty Dancingprospective partners, how itics themed wedding s. My personal Sam and Amy did focus on pol ounce favourite moment long enough for Amy to ann was an out-ofmuch tune serenade at that she doesn’t know a Prince and ister, Princess themed we dding. Catch this about “the current Prime Min on 4OD, you won’t regr Tony Blair”. et it!
8 Out Of 10 Cat s
There are seven serie s on 4OD, providing many hour s of procrastination materia l. Teams discuss the most talke d about topics of the week fo r points in a familiar panel show format. Jimmy Carr hosts the show alongside team lead ers Jason Manford and Sean Lo ck; the three are joined week ly by different celebrity gues ts. Lock’s witty, off-the-wall co mments and Manford’s obse rvational humour is what ma kes the show so watchable an d allows Jimmy Carr’s plet hora of crude, sexist materia l to simply skim past your ears like water off a duck’s ba ck. If you fancy quick paced humo ur then this show is the obvio us choice.
! The Top Ten Works of Steven Seagal Steven Seagal is many things: actor, musician, writer, producer, reserve deputy sheriff, a 7th Dan Black Belt Aikido master, environmental and animal rights activist, energy drink maker and ponytail enthusiast. But most of all he is simply an awesome entertainer, whose movies have kept people glued to the screens and to the edge of their seats – especially the viewers of Channel Five. So here in celebration of the one and only, the greatest action hero ever, are the ten top films of Mr. Steven Seagal. Enjoy: 1) Under Siege (1992 with Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey) 2) On Deadly Ground (1994 with Michael Caine and R. Lee Ermey) 3) The Patriot (1998 with L.Q. Jones and Camilla Belle) 4) Half Past Dead (2002 with Ja Rule and Claudia Christian) 5) The Glimmer Man (1996 with Keenen Ivory Wayans and Bob Gunton) 6) Fire Down Below (1997 with Marg Helgenberger and Kris Kristofferson) 7) Against the Dark (2009 with Tanoai Reed and Linden Ashby) 8) Exit Wounds (2001 with DMX and Isaiah Washington) 9) Out of Reach (2004 with Matt Schulze and Agnieszka Wagner) 10) Ticker (2001 with Tom Sizemore and Dennis Hopper)
By Tom Norris 23
Back by popular demand! This section is pretty self explanatory, it features pictures found on Facebook! Submit any photos you deem worthy enough of this Facebook hall of fame/shame to: vp.comms@kusu.keele.ac.uk, make sure the title of your email is ‘found on facebook’... Union club night guestlist places available to winning entries! Pictures will be marked on humor, originality or ridiculousness.
(James O’Keeffe)
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Winning Photo! 25
Keele University Men’s Football 4ths vs. University of Bolton 3rds 3rd November 2010 By Ben Roberts Keele University played host on a wet and windy afternoon to the [visit of] Bolton Seconds [seconds {but the title says thirds}] in the First Round [first round] of the BUCS Northern Regional cup[Cup?]. Bolton began the game as the brighter of the two teams and early pressure by the visitors almost led to the away side opening the scoring. A corner was not properly dealt with by the hosts and only a hacked clearance off the line by Kieran Cummins prevented the hosts from being 1-0 down. Against the run of early play Keele took the lead. The energetic Michael Barton exchanged passes before extravagantly and emphatically smashing the ball into the top corner from all of twenty yards after a run from midfield. Yet another top class finish that has come to be expected of the player after his excellent performances over the last 12 months. Barton’s goal lifted Keele and certainly riled the visitors who exerted several hefty challenges, the first of which on the goal scorer Michael Barton and the second on full back Kieran Cummins, all dismissed as reckless without malicious intent by the clearly delusional referee. His hands off approach to show yellow cards early on definitely had a heavy influence on the confidence of Bolton players to commit disgusting fouls throughout the match. Despite Bolton’s violent play, the hosts kept on playing and a stunning volley by Craig Preece only narrowly missed the post. Keele, however, doubled their advantage minutes later when Barton played a one – two with Keele striker Ben McCormick and coolly rounded the Bolton ‘keeper to make it 2-0. The visitors were, at this stage, being forced to rely on long range shots that rarely ever troubled the
Keele goal and just before half time, the hosts almost went 3-0 up. A corner into the box caused complete pandemonium and Nick Jones’ scuffed attempt at goal only narrowly missed the post. 2-0 to Keele at half time and on balance it was certainly deserved. Keele took their foot off the peddle at half time and unfortunately decided to try and weather the onslaught on goal that was inevitable in a cup fixture. Bolton started to apply pressure to the Keele back line and only dogged defending by Keele kept the visitors at bay. Twice Bolton should have scored but wayward finishing ensured the score remained 2-0. Keele’s defence was eventually broken, however when Bolton pulled a goal back with about 20 minutes to go setting up a frantic finale. Michael “Pikey” Coffer certainly wanted to avoid a nail biting finish though, and upon receiving Craig Preece’s impressive through ball, coolly and calmly rounded the Bolton goalkeeper to make it 3-1 only moments later. “Pikey” didn’t have the last word though, as within minutes, Bolton again scored to make it 3-2. Unfortunately, after such a sporting performance from Keele, tempers began to fray within the Bolton side and the referee issued several yellow cards to both sides. The Bolton striker probably should have received three red cards in two minutes. Keele were able to hang on for the win though; it was an impressive result that was certainly deserved. Keele can now look onward and upward to the draw for the next round of the cup. The next round is to be played on the 24th November.
Photos by Alex Clifford 26
Keele University Football Club 4th & 5th Team and Neil Baldwins Association F.C. 1st & 2nd Team Keele Campus Cup 2010 By Dan Casey
While competitive sport at the university understandably takes the limelight in terms of prestige and attention, one has to be careful to remember that the grassroots game is arguably the heartbeat of sport in this country. A common misconception of the lower echelons is sport that people who play at that level are not committed or not passionate about the sport they play in. That couldn’t be further from the truth. This is speaking from experience of playing rugby in a national competition for my county, to playing 5th Team football at university. On the 10th October, the sizzling rivalry between Keele University Football Club 4th and 5th team and Neil Baldwins Association reopened for yet another year with an inaugural 11 a side tournament called the Keele Campus Cup on a fine autumn day. The teams didn’t all wear matching shirts, they didn’t all know each other’s names, but one thing was for sure – they all had a sincere desire to win etched across their faces. Keele University Football Club 4th team kicked off the action with an impressive victory over the Baldwins 2nd team, with a trademark three yard finish from new captain Jon ‘Solomon Kalou’ Kelly. They dominated the fixture and Alvis Yeung notched the 2nd to see the 4ths comfortably coast to victory; although the last two minutes were tense after Thys Brame capitalised on indecision and lack of communication between the new defence and their goalkeeper to make it 2-1. The final whistle went to the relief of the 4ths as they almost threw away their two goal advantage that their play had deserved. Elsewhere, the Keele University Football Club 5th team opened against Baldwins 1st team. A new look side under new captain Ben Roberts had no less than eight players making their debuts after a large intake of freshers into the club. Baldwins 1sts had retained a core of their team from the previous year but were unable to break down the new defence containing a man known to his teammates only as Sammi Hyypia – alluding to his peroxide blonde hair, imposing stature and dominating aerial ability of the
legendary defender himself. Sammi’s performance was the only thing of note from a tight 0-0 draw with few opportunities for either side. The 4th vs. 5th team fixture has always been a feisty one, and after waiting 18 months since the last game between the sides, both teams were fired up with an eye on the Keele Campus Cup after their impressive openings. After a tentative opening exchange, it was open to fresher Nick Allerby to net a spectacular first goal for the club and breaking the deadlock sending the 5th team fan into raptures on the sidelines as they went 1-0 up. The 4ths were determined to claim a crucial victory however and two quick fire goals with a clinical finish from pacy forward Ben McCormick and a towering header from the dominating Michael Barton put the game on a knife edge at 2-1. The 5ths had to rely on a piece of magic from Lewis Munns bursting inside from the left wing and leaving everyone stunned with a powerful cross-goal finish into the side netting taking the game to a 2-2. An anonymous fixture between Baldwins 1sts and 2nds saw a tidy finish from Tom Craig to setup the last fixture of the day with three teams in with a shout of winning. The focus was undeniably on the game between Baldwins 1sts and Keele 4ths who were on 4 points each after their two games. The Keele 5th team however were buoyed by the fact that a victory over Baldwins 2nds by a two goal margin and a draw in the other game would end in a cup success on goal difference. This was certainly on their minds as they relentlessly attacked the Baldwins 2nds defence who were repelling successfully the attacking efforts of Kevin Mulholland and Lewis Munns in particular. The award of a soft penalty, comfortably despatched by the emphatic Lewis Munns however saw the capitulation of the Baldwins side before Craig Preece notched the goal of the tournament to see the 5ths go top of the league. It was unfortunately shortlived, as the 4th team were asking questions of the Baldwins 1st defence and Michael Coffer was suitably rewarded after another poaching finish that he has become famous for carried the 4ths to their first piece of silverware of the season! 27
Being a Dickhead’s Cool! This video is quite possibly everything I want to say about being “cool” articulated perfectly in the form of quite a catchy song. The song ridicules everything from the awful fad of wearing glasses with no lenses (very annoying for people like myself who actually NEED the ruddy things) to the damn right irritating obsession of ‘the synth’ amongst London’s young and trendy population... I’m a grumpy old fart, but I’m not the only one...Enjoy!
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Dani Hughes
BIO... Dani is a highly committed and passionate member of Women’s Rugby. Having competed for various sports at county level, Dani came to university and decided to try something new and found her calling in rugby. Dani is currently playing in her 3rd season for the 1st team, and received her half colours for outstanding playing ability and contribution to the club last year. Dani is often caught bragging that she scored the first try for this season, and is very much enjoying playing in her new position at Number 8. Dani is not only a vocal member of the club on the pitch but also off the pitch! She is often spotted on the SU dance floor busting some questionable moves to very questionable songs, specifically those of Justin Bieber! Dani has also received the honourable award of ‘Dick of the Year’ twice, quite an achievement for rugby!
QUESTIONS... We're a couple of games into the season now. How has it been on the pitch so far? Are the new players stepping in and keeping up the high intensity of last season? We enjoyed a very successful season last year, finishing 4th in the league and remaining undefeated at home. This year we were very fortunate to have received a lot of interest and have managed to recruit a great group of freshers! Having played only 2 games so far this season, I must say the new girls have really stepped up, especially on the basis most of the girls have never so much as seen a rugby ball before September, let alone put their bodies on the line to protect one! Sonia Douz has done a great job teaching the new and old girls, and we are hopeful for another great season I get the feeling Keele Rugby is a big, big part of your life at Keele on Wednesday afternoons and far beyond into the nights! What would you do with yourself without it? Good question! Rugby is one of those sports that does take over your life, both on and off the pitch! And without it I would probably be a very good student! However, I am grateful to KUWRUFC for many things, thanks to this club I have made the best friends I have ever had, and I’m sure will have for many years to come! As for Wednesday nights, I couldn’t possibly comment, because I don’t remember many of them! Have you got a personal goal for the season? This year I am loving playing Number 8 while Lauren Guinness Johnson is injured, and am just looking forward to developing my game! I have recently discovered I can do hand offs and that is a great achievement for me! In terms of the rest of the season I just want the new and old girls to continue to enjoy playing rugby, and hope for a good season for us, and the boys! 29