Concourse Issue 5

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itor... A note from the Chief Ed

Contents.

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Keele Refreshed.

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Royal Weddings, Bumps on the Head and Seagulls: Predictions for 2011.

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New Years Resolutions.

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Living within The Wall: A note from Palestine.

10 Film of 2011. 11 Music of 2011. 12 The Airport. 14 Found on Facebook! 16 DIY Student: A Rough Guide to Home Brewing!

Bye bye 2010, its been emotional! Spain won the World Cup for the first time, Lampard didn’t score, an octopus became famous, the vuvuzela irritated everyone. Gordon Brown called someone a bigot, the ConDems took power, David Cameron became Prime Minister, everyone started saying Quango, Nick Clegg lied about everything... Big Brother evicted its last ever housemate, Simon Cowell’s tshirts got tighter, Lord Sugar found another apprentice. Jack Duckworth died, Phil Mitchell discovered crack, Bradley jumped off a roof… Apple launched the oversized iPhone, Facebook took another step closer to world domination, Wikileaks blabbered away. 33 guys in Chile became famous – something about a mine… Students smashed stuff in London, Tiger Woods got divorced, John Terry had sex with everyone, Cheryl Cole became single! Avatar made loads of money, Toy Story 3 made us cry, everything became 3D... Volcanic ash wreaked havoc, BP spilt lots of oil, Gazza bought a fishing rod… Lady Gaga redefined the meaning of the word quirky, Gary Coleman died, Ed emerged victorious in the battle of the Milibands, Robbie kissed and made up with Gary, the Pope came to Britain, the snow refused to go away and Prince William got engaged – nobody cared.

The Concourse Team!

18 Ask Fay.

Chief Editor Fadi Dada

20 Society Focus.

Deputy Editor Brendan Rodgers

21 Procrastination on Demand 22 Concourse Sports - Mens Basketball Match Report - Mens Hockey Match Report - Keele Cheerleading Club - The Alarming Apathy to Sports at Keele - Concourse Player Profile

Dates for your diary... Student Council 25th January 22nd February 10th May

Union General Meeting

Sports Editor Dan Casey Chief Writers Nicola Hale Andy Johnson Head of Photography Alex Clifford Writers Alison Jane Carter, Andy Irwin, Evelynne Lam,Gwen Smith, Samuel Fidler, Kim Buttery, Michael E. Turner II, Thomas Norris, Nicola Hobbs, Frederike Dammé, Jack Mills Davidson, Sam Higham

8th February 8th March 31st May

Elections Nominations Open: 02.02.11 Nominations Close: 10.02.11

www.facebook.com/elections2011

Proofreaders Lauren Mason Kim Buttery Cartoonist Liam Eddleston


Keele Refreshed

By Brendan Rodgers

Welcome back everyone! This is an exciting time, as we enter what some might call the "twenty tweens" and with the winter of 2010 almost done finished freezing our bollocks off, we really can look forward to a new semester ahead.

From chanting obscenities at politicians to semi-compulsively knocking back some of the best made coffee I've known Barista to serve in my whole time at Keele, I can definitely conclude that the year has not been an academic bore!

As the Spring term dawns, the weather hopefully slowly starts to warm up (not removing justification for your daily Barista Hazelnut Latte™ caffeine intake) and we look forward. KUSU will no doubt have a society sign up event and all new, returning and international students should be sure to visit the societies and no doubt manic sabbatical officers there. For the more politically minded, we may yet see a return of the prospect of Keele becoming independent from the UK for a few days, and will no doubt see some heated debate in the upcoming KUSU elections! Before long we will be voting in a new set of Sabbatical Officers (or perhaps see some of our current ones return to the fray?) and as ever gossip will spread like wildfire.

What else happened? The arctic winds have confused most of the country but definitely most upset the southerners: I can hear the northern Brits jeering already, but it had to be said London and the surrounding areas were not prepared for the amount of snow they received (which in an unusual turn of events, far exceeded Keele's snow). While the snow was epic, it has gone in most regions and at least London and Keele are back on track. Besides crazy snow, the year has been fairly uneventful weather-wise.

That’s what this year feels like at the moment: Wildfire, a massive amount of potential with an unpredictable edge. This year will see the 2011 finalists leave our campus for good and onto bigger, (and probably better) things. Keele’s party animals have yet another fun filled chance to prove themselves with the refreshers week events and then the summer festivals, no doubt we will see KRAP, The Pig and Rat, and KUSU all host some form of event – and perhaps a new one might occur?

Most of us will have our autumn semester exams this month, and possibly some deadlines - but as tense as this period can be, remember not to panic: relax and keep up a steady stream of work but don't be afraid to let loose once in a while! Sometimes hard work is not all it’s cracked up to be, in fact I’d go so far as to say that it’s bloody tiring. What is important though is methodical planning and making sure that you can fit in the odd night out or little treats here and there, while still achieving revision and coursework deadlines. Personally I nearly burnt out in early

Before we get too ahead of ourselves though, we have a great semester to look forwards to. The green grass and blue skies will return to Keele, the parties will soon start up again and once our assessments are done, we have a lot to look forward to. So, chin up Keele! Hopefully we are all rejuvenated enough to approach this period with a revived sense of ambition and hope. With spring around the corner, the summer isn't far off. Let's be sure to make 2011 the best year at Keele yet..

The winter hasn't been all bad: I hope you all had a lovely Christmas wherever you were, and the same for new year’s. As December reached its close, I found myself reflecting (as no doubt we all did) on the year's events and activities; I was pleasantly surprised to realise that 2010 had been a year of quite diverse experiences.

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December – in fact my damned immune system eventually did and like many others, my last few weeks at Keele in 2010 were spent dying of the flu.


By Anonymous - Scrawled on the door of a toilet cubicle in the Students’ Union Words of inspiration for Keele’s constipated students.


Royal Weddings, Bumps on the Head and Seagulls: Predictions for 2011 What’s going to happen in 2011? That’s a dangerous way to begin a Concourse article. I only ask that question because I’m (half) watching one of those tragically vacuous 2010 rewinds on BBC600 presented by Richard Bacon or Kelly Osborne or whoever. As I write it’s the run-up to New Year, it’s about 11pm and I’m killing, no, murdering some time before turning over to 5Live to listen to England bowl Ricky Ponting into retirement (bon voyage, Ricky) in the fourth Ashes test (I haven’t slept for three nights). Some of the events that have captured public attention this year include the formation of Britain’s first coalition government in more than 60 years, Prince William’s engagement to a jolly nice middle class girl, and a lot of snowfall at Christmas. With that in mind, on the radio this morning there was a discussion about the events we MUST watch out for next year. I sat down with my tub of Celebrations (breakfast) and tried to make my own predictions for 2011: The Royal Wedding will be very expensive and the government won’t be able to afford it, so the easiest thing to do is just abolish the monarchy and put them all on the affordable housing list in East London.

(Former) Prince Harry will subsequently land a bit part in Eastenders as Pat Butcher’s toyboy. Everyone will realise that Eastenders is really quite dreadful and the show will be pulled by the BBC.

This will have a knock-on effect for Coronation Street. The government, in need of more affordable housing (inflation etc) will bulldoze the street and build a complex of conceptual and thoroughly modern 2-bedroom apartments..

The Daily Mail will have nothing left to write about and the News of the World will expose them for covering up Sepp Blatter’s secret sex cave. The Mail will collapse and FIFA will be taken over by Jose Mourinho.

Jose will declare himself King of Everything. The UN will not recognise the United States of Mourinho and America will declare war on FIFA (you can’t deny it’s been coming).

Everyone in Britain will wake up (simultaneously) to the scientifically proven fact that James Corden is not, has never been, and will never be, funny.

Furthermore, southerners will stop believing that Peter Kay is somehow representative of all males north of Manchester, and they will accept that we have managed to assimilate garlic bread and, indeed, the wheel into our rabid culture.

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Scandalised Britons will stop contacting live radio phone-ins to share their erudite and beautifully-reasoned solutions to the problems that have flummoxed humankind for two millennia. Having realised that they are neither erudite nor reasonable they will then stop speaking – even to their pets.

A bump on the head will lead Louis Walsh to forget that he is the manager of Westlife and it will suddenly strike Simon Cowell that no X Factor performance in history has ever been ‘world class’. An unassuming but huge flock of seagulls will travel unexpectedly inland and hover (yes hover) above each of Britain’s major airports forcing them to close. Airlines will then provide each inconvenienced passenger with a complementary tinfoil poncho and a plastic cupful of tepid soup. The government will order a cull of said seagulls (nasty Tories) and a plan costing millions of pounds will be devised to ensure that lessons are learnt and that we’re all better prepared for the seagulls in 2012. I’ll take bets on number ten. P.S In a rare moment of warmth I want to wish everyone at Keele a Happy New Year, especially my brilliant friends, you know who you are.

By Andy Irwin

New Year’s Resolutions Happy new year everybody... OK, OK, so by the time this is in print this year will be a few days old and you’ll probably be going about life the same as last year. But as tradition dictates, at New Year’s we all make resolutions for the coming year. Of course this is only what we do in a perfect world, most of us, myself included, either give up after a couple of days or just don’t bother making them. However despite the fact I’m not making any resolutions of my own (I’m too perfect already... honest) I’m going to make some suggestions for other people’s New Year’s resolutions. Firstly we come to the Right Honourable Nick Clegg MP. Well to keep it short in the New Year sir, you need to grow a spine; no one likes a whipping boy. While we’re on politics, David and Gideon, your resolution should be to learn what it’s like to be normal and not multimillionaires. Smoothly we transition to Kanye West, but how could such an egomaniac possibly improve himself? Well, for one - stop being an arse. No one is impressed by thirty minute long music videos or weird CD artwork of you having sex with a phoenix woman. It’s not big and it’s certainly not clever. Similarly stupid is replacing your teeth with diamonds – seriously, what was he thinking about when he did that? So Kanye, let’s stop all of this stupidity and stick to what you’re good at - making music. Lady Gaga: stop wearing food, telephones and cigarettes as clothing. Meat is for eating, telephones are for contacting people and cigarettes

are for smoking and acquiring cancer. None of these are for wearing as clothes. Ever. No exceptions. It’s got to the point now where she needs to stop - it’s annoying and stupid. At the MTV Awards, she was speaking out against the IS military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy by asking several gay and lesbian soldiers as her dates, all ignored because of that dress. Of course it is a bit hypocritical me to point out other peoples faults and need for New Year’s resolutions, when I at the very beginning said I don’t intend to make them. I only do this purely out of fun. And to be honest do we really need to make them because a tradition says so? No of course not, we don’t need a tradition or a time of year to change our lives; if we want to, we should just do it. We’re the only ones who can improve our lives.

By Thomas Norris


Living within The Wall: A note from Palestine

By Luke Johnson

The subject of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has spawned a tremendous amount of literature. Who is to blame for the predicament these two peoples find themselves in is contested rigorously. The likes of Alan Dershowitz and Noam Chomsky are just two of many polemicists, who argue their opposing cases with passion and occasionally with less than the scholarly rigour one might expect. The subjective nature of the conflict results in espousals of opinion disguised as truth. One becomes weary as a quest for answers in literature and journalism seem unobtainable. Motivated by my literary cul-de-sac, I set out last summer to see the country and meet the peoples on both sides of the dispute. What follows is a brief description of part of that journey that helped me to formulate a few truths of my own. The number 124 Arab bus from East Jerusalem pulls up slowly, coming to a stop at the entrance to the small terminal know as Checkpoint 300. 30 or so Palestinians alight and make their way into the concrete and corrugated iron structure, many with busy hands buried in pockets and bags, searching for the necessary documentation required for the crossing from the suburbs of Jerusalem to their homes in Bethlehem. A queue has formed at the entrance to the building. Green-uniformed soldiers, mostly young and bored Israelis, lounge around in an undisciplined manor.

American-made automatic weapons hang from long straps positioned across their chests. CS spray canisters, batons, shields, helmets and other crowd controlling paraphernalia are strewn across the floor. Several other Israeli Police officials in light blue shirts and dark blue trousers haughtily direct Palestinians towards gated booths where identification is scrutinized, and then verified using biometric scanning equipment. Occasionally, puncturing the uneasy quiet are the raised voices of the border police who are acrimoniously directing the seemingly passive Palestinians through the terminal.

Back into the oppressive heat, a pair of swallows can be seen preening one another perched on a shaded spot, a brief respite from the intolerable Middle Eastern sun. The roar from the diesel engine of a military Humvee sputtering to life sends them skyward... flying over the source of their shade and what has become a symbol of the Palestinians’ oppression: the wall. A wall made up of thousands of monolithic sections of reinforced concrete, eight metres in height. This structure is part of a larger ‘separation barrier’ that cuts off the West Bank from Israel. Positioned strategically along the wall are armoured sniper towers that point skyward a further four metres; Soldiers look down on the checkpoint through bulletproof one-way glass and dozens of CCTV cameras survey the progress of the Palestinians through the terminal. Passing through the wall involves another identity check and a walk along a sloped, caged walkway. Graffiti adorns its grey surface, predominantly in Arabic, but some in English: “Is this freedom”, “where the hell now?” and “let us live”. The journey, passing from Israel to the West Bank, is the journey made by just a fraction of the Palestinian population to whom Israel has granted a work permit. The wall delineates the boundaries of what could not unreasonably be described has the world’s largest prison. The population live within the West Bank with little freedom of movement; all borders and most highways are controlled by Israel, arbitrary closures of checkpoints are not uncommon, families have been separated, education and employment opportunities have been rescinded and quality medical care is hard to come by. My contact in the West Bank is Khaled Abumohimeed, he owns and lives in a house in Bethlehem with his wife Haneen and five of his seven children, Mehah, Layla, Hamid, Achmed and Mohammed, his eldest daughter is married and lives a few streets away, Osama his eldest son, is a doctor working in the UK.


The house, concrete and flat roofed, is set on the side of a valley in a small dusty suburban neighbourhood; young children play in the street with kites and plastic guns, solitary donkeys graze where they can and cats lazily doze in the lengthening shadows of the evening. The end of the day is approaching and the stifling air is cooled by a light breeze, carrying with it the amplified voices of five or six Muezzins simultaneously. The call to prayer echoes out across the valley and briefly, conversation dies down as religious duties are performed.

This harmonious and alluring sound, synonymous with Muslim culture, can rarely be said to have sounded so striking... or to have carried such resonance for the Palestinian families as in this beautiful corner of the world. Khaled and his family are lucky in some respects. Many of their compatriots, whose families were displaced when Israel was established in 1948, have been living in refugee camps such as Balata in Nablus and Dheisha, which lies just a few miles away on the outskirts of Bethlehem. Conditions there are cramped and squalid and the areas are susceptible to Israeli military incursions. Poverty is rife and extremist sentiments find receptive ears. Despite living outside these worst conditions, the Abumohimeed family have undoubtedly suffered as a result of Israeli occupation. Khaled had once worked in the ceramics industry - his small business had an office in East Jerusalem from where he would coordinate the import of tiles from Jordan. Over the year’s successive ‘security’ crackdowns, the removal of his Jordanian passport and the construction of the separation wall meant that it was no longer possible for him to trade. With a large family to support and despite his business experience, the only available to him now is driving a taxi. Khaled tells me his story as we sit in his garden, sweet smelling hookah smoke mixed with the scent of sage and mint infused tea permeates the air. He speaks in a hushed voice; he does not like having his children hear of his problems. Standing up abruptly, Khaled walks over to a garden tap, turning it fully in both directions, the attached hose remains torpid “the [Israeli]

settlements… they take our water”. His tone is sombre and resigned, ”‘and they take our electricity too”. The West Bank sits on top of a massive system of aquifers, which are controlled by Israeli authorities. They pump 80% of the accessible water into Israel. Israelis use 240 cubic metres of water a person each year, against 75 cubic metres for West Bank Palestinians. The Palestinians are caught in an unequal, asymmetric dispute. They have not been allowed to develop any new production wells in the West Bank since the 1967 war and as a consequence they often go without. As a solution to the lack of consistent utilities, several large black water containers have been installed on the roof along with a butt in the garden - they are filled during the periods when the water supply is not diverted to Israel or one of its illegal settlements. An old petrol-powered generator steps in when the electricity is cut, but it is loud and pollutes the air around the house. The settlements, which have formed an archipelago that stretches right across the West Bank, cause other problems; land is expropriated from Palestinians to facilitate the construction of not just the settlements themselves but for a network of Israeli-only roads and buffer zones that carve up the West Bank. IDF (Israeli Defence Force) camps as scattered liberally across the territories, many possessing the same style of sniper towers found at the checkpoint. During the Intafada (or uprising) in Nablus, the IDF created a small settlement on a contiguous strip of land in the city centre along which the movement of Palestinian vehicles is forbidden. The middle of the strip contains many sections of road that the army forbids even Palestinian pedestrians to use. The Arab market that runs adjacent to the settlement has been covered with a metal mesh in order to protect the Palestinians below from objects such as bricks, bottles and excrement thrown down from above by settlers. In Palestine it is not only the Israelis who make life a misery, Khaled is also critical of the Palestinian Authority (PA): corruption is rife among officials.

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When dissidents publicly object to what is being done by the PA they often “never see the sun again”. The veiled talk of murderous bureaucrats ends as Haneen interjects; “it is four times worse than ever before, there is no democracy”. She calms her husband with a gentle hand on placed across his shoulder. His submissive attitude has become one of anger and of disappointment.

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his eldest son in Manchester Khaled knows there are possibilities, but the restrictive salary of a taxi driver in addition to ever more severe restrictions on travel outside the West Bank mean options are limited for the family.

The Muezzins call for the final time that day Khaled takes his prayer mat and amongst his family he faces Mecca to pray. Hamid and Mehah continue to caper about boisterously but somehow do not disturb their dad. As a father Khaled is gentle and loving, moderate in faith but pessimistic in spirit. He sees no solution to the troubles of his people; assimilation with the Israelis is impossible as is, in his eyes, an independent state of Palestine.

This account may seem as if I have made Israelis out to be entirely bad, and it would be dishonest if I did not address this point. It must be said that there are many within Israel who disagree with their government’s policies towards the Palestinians, and a multitude of Israeli families who themselves suffer as a result, especially those in the Southern city of Sderot who regularly face rockets fired from Gaza. But when I look closer at the situation from the perspective of a Palestinian living under occupation, and consider the far superior quality of life to be had in Israel.

He breathes in deeply, accentuating his despair; “Insha Allah [God Willing] my family can leave here one day”. With a brother in Detroit, Michigan and

It is the families living here, in the West Bank and Gaza, suffering at the hands of Israeli and Palestinian authorities that affects me the most...



1 Film of 201

By Frederike Dammé

As ever, film studios large and small have long lists of new material ready to unleash onto our screens in 2011. Frederike Dammé has been watching the trailers, and compiles her five most anticipated films of the year ahead.

Hanna (Dir: Joe Wright, April 8th) I hit upon the trailer for Hanna while doing some procrastination on YouTube the other day. Young Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) is raised by her father (Eric Bana) in the Arctic. Being a former secret agent, daddy trains his daughter to be a high profile killing machine as she is the only one who can get close enough to Dad’s bad boss (Cate Blanchett). I know we have seen Bond and Bourne but this film seems not just to offer action but also a story I haven’t seen before. Additionally, the big evil boss is played by the amazing Cate Blanchett which, for me, is always a reason to watch. Directed by Joe Wright, Hanna is out in April.

ber 11th) y Ritchie, Decem Gu ir: (D 2 es lm ipated sequel of Sherlock Ho with the most antic d en ll wi 11 20 , Guy Ritchie’s verIn my eyes w much I enjoyed ho ed ris rp su s wa being married to the year. I e pipe. Turns out th th wi ive ct te de u would think. sion of the one as much as yo e ag m da t no es ing the already Madonna do ad Pitt will be join Br y dd bu st be s e’ w. Something for Also, Ritchi ey Jr. and Jude La wn Do rt be Ro of st December. amazing ca ck Holmes is out in lo er Sh y! sa d ul wo everyone I The Three Musketeers (Dir: Paul W.S. Anderso n, October 14th) Yes I admit it, I do lik e costume dramas…a lot . I was very pleased, then, when I he ard that the three Muske teers will be back in 2011. In a way, the y are our the anti-heroes, the Robin Hoods of France and sin ce The Man in the Iron Ma sk, they have been horribly neglected by the film industry. The cast also looks promising, as there are no big names, except fro m Orlando Bloom but good actors inv olved. So it is going to be ‘all for one, one for all’! The Three Mu sketeers is out in October. s, te 2 (Dir: David Ya Deathly Hallows Part Harry Potter and the July 15th) come to wave era. The time will soon an of d en e th is it People, as we will sit rmione and the rest He n, Ro , rry Ha to e featuring our goodby finale of the film saga nd gra e th tch wa d e who liked down an rry, Gandalf). For thos (so rd za wi e rit ou fav all time did, I ‘m fairly Hallows as much as I ly ath De e th of rt pa ne else, well the first appointed. For everyo dis be n’t wo we at th certain e second part rs 3, or something. Th me for ns Tra tch wa d - go an out in July. al Harry Potter film is of David Yates’ epic fin

21st) nately sky, January of n ro A n re ovie. Unfortu ar m D : et ll ir (D ba an od is ina go Black Sw s and if ballet myself, I love le er rc nc ci d da oo er w h the Holly As a form esents us wit pr pular genre in y po nl un ai m an it s lms, p boy. this seem cent dance fi e cute hip ho re th t h it os w m t e ge th to Aronants volved in an by Darren dancer who w Sw k et ll ac ba Bl hy el tc autiful e tunn skinny bi only offer be the end of th t at no t es gh li do ) is e dedream But ther quiem for a D rtman plays a Re Po r, ie le al st at re N W y. or ked to g st fsky (The terally thrillin when she is as li er a re so ca al r t he bu ist as ht of dancing a at the heig ems to be a tw in se er e ll er ba th a , er im ev ed else. How icated pr in Swan Lake ballet. Releas rt l… pa el n w ai d m an e play th of sex, lies in January. ped in a web she gets trap out in the UK is an Sw k ac in 2010, Bl 10 where


Music of 201 1

By Andy Johnson

A new year brings with it hundreds of new music releases, and as ever each listener must sort the wheat from the chaff. Putting aside musical quality for the time being, Andy Johnson chooses five albums which might just make the biggest splash this year. Coldplay – Untitled Fifth Album (Parlophone, TBA) Love them or loathe them, there is no doubt that Coldplay’s long-awaited fifth LP will be among the most important music releases of the forthcoming year. The band’s festive tune “Christmas Lights” apparently gives no clue as to the sound we can expect from future songs, which are rumoured variously to be more stripped down and acoustic on one hand and influenced by industrial rock on the other. What we do know is that frontman Chris Martin has listed The Wire and “old school American graffiti” among the record’s influences and that Brian Eno is once again on production duties. EMI will be looking closely at developments – the corporation owns Coldplay’s label Parlophone and have been said to Van Halen – Untitled Twelfth Album (Warner Bros., TBA) rely heavily on the band’s vast commercial poten- Almost every year seems to bring with it a major rock comeback of some kind, and in 2011 it is the turn of Californian hard rock outfit Van tial. Halen, who last released new studio material in 1998 in the form of Lady Gaga – Born This Way (Interscope, May 23rd) the poorly-received Van Halen III. Although little is known of the record Given her merciless domination of pop’s fickle air- at this point, it will mark the first time original vocalist David Lee Roth waves in 2010, it can be easy to forget that the will have performed new material with the band in over 25 years. artist otherwise known as Stefani Joanne Angelina These long-awaited comebacks are unpredictable affairs, but given Van Germanotta has still released just one full-length Halen’s pedigree let’s hope the band get thoroughly back on track and record. That is due to change on May 23rd, when avoid the kind of cynical corporate soundtrack cash-in AC/DC were her sophomore effort is to be released on Inter- guilty of with Iron Man 2 in 2010. scope, a subsidiary of Universal Music Group. Described rather incoherently to the BBC as “a marriage of electronic music with major, epic, dare Lykke Li – Wounded Rhymes (LL Recordings, TBA) I even say, metal or rock 'n' roll, pop, anthemic Few can compete with the length and complexity of Lady Gaga’s real style melodies with really sledge-hammering dance name, but hotly-tipped Swedish starlet Lykke Li is not an unreasonable beats” the album is sure to be a significant 2011 challenger, given that she was born Li Lykke Timotej Zachrisson. She’s milestone. If you’re not a Gaga acolyte, better had a fairly meteoric rise within indie circles since the release of her keep the radio turned off for another year or two 2008 album Youth Novels – she’s worked with hip Swedish producer Kleerup, contributed vocals to Röyksopp’s successful album Junior in yet - this lady’s here to stay. 2009, and 2011 will finally see the unleashing of her second LP, which is to go by the name of Wounded Rhymes. Evidence seems to conflict as to which way Li will jump – one the one hand her recent moves have been increasingly commercially-oriented, on the other a recent video of hers was noticeably avant-garde. Dr. Dre – Detox (Interscope, February) It’s not uncommon for artists to announce their next album is to be their last – perhaps especially in the rap game – but given that Dr. Dre has only ever released two LPs in his entire 18-year solo career, we might be well inclined to believe the man. Detox will arrive the best part of twelve years after its predecessor, and over its long gestation an enormous string of names have been rumoured to be among Dre’s guests and collaborators. If even a few of those on that list – including Enimem, Snoop Dogg, Common, R. Kelly and Lady Gaga – actually appear then Detox’s long-awaited release stands to be a massive spectacle whether or not it meets its proposed February streetdate.

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The Airport Christmas is a time when most Keele students return home to visit family - for international students, that often means a trip to the airport. While on our screens Matt Lucas and David Walliams of Little Britain fame poke fun at the airport on their new series Come Fly With Me, Evelynne Lam takes a more serious look at this chaotic places and what they mean to us. The airport is an intriguing place; flights taking on and off, passengers coming and going. It comes down to one simple word, busy. At Christmas, it’s not uncommon for us to notice that a majority of our friends go back home, leaving our halls empty and quiet. For international students, there’s strong desire to go home even if it means undergoing a nearly 13-hour flight. After all, going home is more than cramming stuff into the suitcases - it’s about going back to a place where you feel you belong. At airports we see passengers so varied in age, class, gender and purpose -. yet we know there is a specific destination in their each of their hearts. December’s weather was forever in flux and that’s worrying. Flights were delayed or even cancelled, putting obstacles of all kinds in travellers’ paths. This gave students waiting in the lounge heavy hearts. With only had a two-week ‘vacation’ to stay overseas, the threat of poor weather causing cancellations is an distressing one. Around Christmas time, many students were stuck reading weather and news reports on the net before they eventually got the opportunity to fly back and to reach their homelands. At university, every student must make their own decisions and take care of themselves; but still, no matter where we are, our family and friends are there for us at the other side of the earth.

Metaphorically, our family and friends is our airport. Down through our growing progress, we keep flying to reach the unreachable. We fall and we recover, we fail and we learn from it. In the end, we still hope to reach the stars. We must remember and value this support network. Looking back, it is our family and friends who give us welcoming arms to run into. They provide the opportunity for us to go outside our comfort zones, to grow and to broaden our horizons. Instead of keeping their children near, they bear all the costs of exposing them to the experiences of the outside world, in financial and other senses. They let their children fly, watch them from the ground, and whenever we feel tired, we are always welcomed and loved by them. When we are lost, there is always a lighthouse which gives us directions. There is always a beam of light shining through the darkness. Time flies and 2011 has arrived. One by one, students return to the university from places around the globe. They carry back their suitcases, perhaps having them crammed with even more stuff including food from home, new clothes, new shoes, books... however, one more tiny yet crucial thing is with them: warmth and energy. In 2011, I wish you all good health and good joy every day with support from the personal airport in your heart.

By Evelynne Lam

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Submit any photos you deem worthy enough of this Facebook hall of fame/shame to: vp.comms@kusu.keele.ac.uk, make sure the title of your email is ‘found on facebook’... Union club night guestlist places available to winning entries! Pictures will be marked on humor, originality or ridiculousness.

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me Brewing DIY Student: A Rough Guide to Ho As far as new year’s resolutions go, how about resolving to make your drinking habits more sociable, cheap and enjoyable? If that sounds enticing, let DIY student Sam Fidler introduce you to the world of home brewing.. Like a drink? Make your own! You’d be surprised at the simplicity of the process whatever your tipple of choice, be it beer, wine or cider (although for those that drink spirits, it’s a little different). For today’s purposes though, let’s take a look at the basics of beermaking.

tights, rubber bands, a saucepan, sugar and water. Plus, of course you’ll need something to actually make the beer from, and we need to get imaginative. Basically to make beer, we need a starch, and malt, a flavouring agent and yeast.

Remember that cereal you bought in fresher’s week but never ate? Go get it. Make sure it has some starch in it like bran flakes. Flavour like dried fruit will definitely help, but it’s not vital. You will also need malt. The yeast will want to eat more than the inferior products you are supplying, and although it is possible without the malt, I strongly advise against this. Now, half of you will hate this ingredient, and half will love it. Yes, you guessed it, Marmite. Yes, it is salty, and yes it is a gloopy substance, but the salt will stick to the coffee jar, and the gloop won’t be present after. The flavouring or bittering agent can be anything from orange peel to herbs. It’s your choice and what you decide to add will decide the outcome of your beer. Yeast is the easy As far as equipment and ingredients go, you’ll need a bit. Go to the shops and buy it. You don’t need brewer’s coffee percolator with a hot plate (about a fiver from yeast, but this can be picked up from Wilkinsons if Argos), some clean jars with lids (pasta jars are fine), you’re feeling posh. Baker’s yeast will suffice. Ready? something like a hankie or perhaps some Here’s the process:

For longer than I can remember (which admittedly doesn’t go back much further than New Year’s Eve), man has made beer. Wine might be older, but beer is basic element of home brewing. The basic process to make beer is cheap and dirty, and frankly the beer will probably reflect this, but you’ve read this far so you probably want to know how to get started! Please read everything and make sure you understand it before you start. I’m not responsible for the potential killer you make or the consequences that result from your binge. Please drink responsibly and be patient. Good things come to those who wait and practice makes perfect.

Put the grains in the coffee pot, the glass bit you pour the coffee from, not the basket or anywhere else. Run a pint of water through the coffee percolator into the pot, and let it sit on the hot plate for an hour or so. What we’re doing here is letting all the lovely chemicals release into the water and creating liquid called wort. Put the wort into the jars and let it cool. Cooling is the key here. We need to let it cool to room temp, somewhere between 18°C and 23°C. If it’s too hot or too cold, the yeast isn’t going to work. Pitch the yeast. What I mean by pitch is, chuck in. A little bit should do. Maybe a pinch, but not with your grubby hands. Use a super clean spoon.

Grind up the cereal not into a powder, but make it small.

Sanitise everything. The coffee percolator, the jars and every little implement you use have to be clean. Bacteria are bad, seriously. Just keep everything squeaky clean.

Strain the wort through something, ideally filter paper, and put this in the basket, the little bit that flips in and out where the coffee should go. Add the Marmite as well. Now, get your wort (the mucky liquid in the coffee pot), and pour it into the saucepan. Boil the bugger for 45 minutes. 2 minutes before the end, add the flavouring agent.

Strain the wort through something, ideally filter paper, and put this in the basket, the little bit that flips in and out where the coffee should go. Add the Marmite as well.

Put the liquid back into the coffee pot and add half a pint of water to the machine. Run it through 5 times to make sure we get all the divine flavours, and each time, add half a pint of water.

You’re not going to like this step, but seal the jars with the tights, or hankie and the elastic band. Let it sit for 3 to 5 days (if you want pre-drinks for the weekend, make it on a Monday when you’re still relatively sober). Make sure it’s airtight, but breathable.

After the 3 to 5 days, add a tablespoon of sugar, after all, the yeast need to make alcohol out of something. Cover it back up with the lid. This will start making the beer fizzy.

Store it in a cool and dark place where it isn’t going to be disturbed. Usually about a week should do. Theoretically speaking, the longer it “matures”, the better it’ll taste.

Finally, after near enough a fortnight, you can drink it. I always find that its best when it’s been it’s been chilled in the fridge, but hey, you’re a student - do as you like. 16

By Sam Fidler



Fay manages KUSU ’s Independent Ad vice Unit (IAU) which prov ides FREE, confid en tial and impartial advice on academic, pe rsonal and financial issues. Drop in between to arrange an ap pointment! You can find the IAU on the top fl oo r of the students union. Alternatively em ail your queries to : independent.ad vice.unit@keele. ac.uk In this regular se ction we publish a selection of the frequent ques tions that Fay an d her team deal with around the time of public ation. Nothing in this co lumn reflects actu al enquiries mad Unit, we operate e in the a strict policy on confidentiality, an you say in the Un d nothing it will be repeated without your strict sion. Nothing re places individual permisadvice; informat this article repres ion given in ents guidance on the topics only. Concourse with qu Contacting estions to ‘ask Fa y’ assumes that yo happy for your qu u are estion to be prin ted.

my year for me and four mates. I know some of on I am worried about finding a house off campus next s? about missing out on decent place course have already got houses and I am worried

It is early to start looking, but if you need a house for 5 people you do need to sort it soon as there are less of these about. You can come to the Housing Fair (25th Jan in the Ballroom), we will be there, with landlords advertising their properties. We have put a lot of info on our webpages to help you with where to look and other useful bits of info: kusu.net/iau go to the ‘Housing’ and ‘off campus’ section. If the house is on three levels the IAU can give you more info about special licenses landlords might need and also info including how many cookers, microwaves, sinks, etc should be provided, or you can talk to your local housing officer e.g. at Newcastle Borough Council, who will also be at the Housing Fair.

of it. I’ve just arrived at Keele from a semester abroad and feel totally out Hi and welcome back to KeeleIt will feel as though everyone else knows where they are at, they are in groups of friends and you will never fit / back in. You will know where you are at and you will fit in, but it may take time. However, the first week or two may feel weird, but stick with it. There are lots to make you feel welcome and at home, we’re here in the IAU, the Resident Tutors and Managers are around. The Centre for Learning and Student Support are in the Walter Moberley Building, there’s also the Chapel. The Peer Advisors are still available if you are happier to talk to them. There are activities happening in the halls, for example in Barnes Hall there is a National dress/costume day on Wednesday 16th February in the Sty (Pig & Rat?) between 1100hrs and 1600hrs. Welcome to exchange students from all over world who arrived at Keele on 21st January! 18


how I will cope, time management is not I’ve got 5 modules to do this semester and I’m not sure my thing. Well, I am afraid that time management need to be your thing as that’s the only way you will be able to cope. If you live off campus and / or have a part-time job you are going to have to be ultra organised. It’s only for a short time, so you can go back to be disorganised after this semester. I’ve googled time management and there’s plenty of info out there but if you need help, see the Academic Advisor in CLASS or the team in the IAU.

plagiarising their own work My mate got done by their school for - how is that fair? The University wants to reward your work. You do the work, hand it in, they give you a mark. If you hand the same piece of work in again or a piece of work which has big paragraphs which you have used before, you are asking for a second ‘reward’ for work you have already had marks for – this isn’t fair. Keeles’ Regulations list what is not acceptable; if you look at Reg. 8.12.4.5 it says ‘duplication of the same or almost identical work for more than one coursework assignment’ counts as academic misconduct. If you want to find out more about plagiarism come to K2 at 1pm on 9th February and Andi from the Unit will tell you more. (If you can’t make this we are running another workshop at 1pm on 8th March in K2).

My friend’s depressed about their course, the exams went badly and they aren’t sure if they will stay at Keele. It could be that they may need to change course, submit, Extenuating Circumstances or take a leave of absence. Or it could be something they haven’t told you about. They need to talk to someone. They could to speak to their Schools, to CLASS, Counselling, to us and Careers. They may also benefit from seeing their GP. Help is here, so if you can reassure them that this is the case and don’t feel you have to solve the problem yourselves.

keep thinking we are going to get broken into My neighbours’ room got broken into and we rance. again and he is having problems with the insu The elected officers can help to you about your concerns about safety on campus, they meet regularly with the University and the Police, so if you are worried, tell them. Their contact details are on kusu.net. The IAU will help with the insurance claim.

, and I can't afford it. Can campus Doctors but it is a regular one I have been given a prescription by the for this? I apply to the Hardship Fund for money Not really one for the Hardship Fund, this is something that you can get help for by filling in a HC1 form. It is means tested but many students qualify. The forms are in the Unit and at the Health Centre. If you are struggling for money you can talk to the Student Funding Office to see if they can help and the Advice Unit provides debt advice.

and my family can’t My Mother has been made redundant What am I going to surv ive on?

give me the money they are supposed

to send.

If you google ‘SFE Change of Circumstances’, use the form to tell the loans company about what’s happened, they can recalculate your financial support package. In the meantime, talk to Student Funding Office, the IAU and Jobshop. 19


Keele Nightline What is Keele Nightline? In the words of their co-ordinator, think Samaritans, but run by and for students. It is a listening service that offers information and advice, opinions and counselling, and will dedicate every effort to each of their callers. If you have a problem Nightline will provide you with any guidance you might need, even if it's a number for a taxi or a local takeaway. As a completely confidential service Nightline want to offer anyone in a crisis the opportunity to be open and honest about whatever is on their mind. They will never ask for names and the volunteers can be trusted with any information they receive, it will always be anonymous so the caller can feel relaxed, safe and hopefully then a little better. And don't think your problem is too small, or even too big, because until you give the volunteers a ring you won’t know the extent of their abilities or the result it might bring. The idea is simply to give you the chance to air your concerns to a friendly and patient listener. A unique society to become involved in, Nightline are always on the look out for new volunteers, and as a key part of the welfare network available at Keele the volunteer work can provide you with valuable and unforgettable experience. Keele Nightline is open 9pm-3am every night of the semester. Internal: 34999 (always free) External: 01782 733999

By Gwen Smith

Concourse Magazine Right, where to begin... A bit of background perhaps. Concourse Magazine is Keele University’s student magazine (you’re reading a copy right now!) and has existed in one form or another for decades. In recent times Concourse has been edited and distributed by the Vice President of Democracy and Communications (this year, that would be me). Not anymore. One thing that always frustrated me as a student was that the STUDENTS didn’t run the STUDENT MAGAZINE! It seemed unfair to me that the people who ultimately decided what went in and more importantly, what didn't, were the KUSU Sabbatical officers - the same Sabbatical officers that run the Union. How many of you have been unhappy with certain things that go on in our Students’ Union? How many of you have had a gripe with a Sabbatical officer (past and present) and wanted nothing more than to shout about it? Well, now is your chance... The magazine has been given back to the students! From next year onwards Concourse will be operating as a society (in the same way that KUBE Radio does) the Chief Editor will be elected by students in a cross campus election and they, alongside a committee elected by the society members, will control every aspect of the magazine... Concourse is YOUR VOICE (But please don’t slag us off too much) Want to get involved? Find the Concourse stall at Refreshers fair. 20

By Fadi Dada KUSU Sabbatical Officer


By Gwen Smith As the cold weather continues, what else can be done but to bask in the warm glow of the television screen? This issue it’s Gwen Smith’s turn to praise or punish the TV choices the broadcasters hope will keep us glued to those screens well into 2011.

Come Fly With Me k of As someone who became sic this ly, Little Britain fairly quick ced wasn't an obvious choice. For on to watch the first episode de ly ual Christmas Day, I've act ' cas cided to give Walliams/Lu . It’s partnership another chance d pirrie ma hit and miss, with the se ane lots being a hit and the Jap miss. school girls an enormous for ant nch pe The comedy duo’s ost alm the makeup seemed ter forced, as each new charac less grew more grotesque and es vid pro g funny. When the settin y the so much potential, why must etic just resort to huge prosth chins?

Wallander Kenneth Brannagh's Br itish adaptation of the bestselling Swedish crime novels has nothing on the Swedes' own versions, which make for far grittier drama. BBC4 ar e always repeating these at rand om, so there's always one rattling around on iPlayer, and I recomm end them not only because they're su perior to any home-grown cop dram as we put up with, but you get your money's worth at 100 minutes per episode, and you get to brus h up on your Swedish as you go along .

Episodes This new sitcom abou t British writers being flown to Hollywood has only rece ntly appeared on BBC's iPlay er, but I jumped at the chance to watch it based on its cast an d credentials (it's partly from the makers of Friends, which explains the presence of Matt LeBlanc). It was amusing watc hing the British coping with L. A.'s neurotic pretensions, bu t after a while this did become tiring; meanwhile the be st jokes seemed to derive fro m briefer moments between th e couple. I will persevere though , just to see how far LeBlanc will go to mock himself.

Top 10 Worst Game Shows The holidays: a time with no university, a time to go home and steal your parents’ food and make use of their heating, showers and the free laundry service they provide, all out of love. The other good thing about the holidays is the free time you get; and what is there to do with this free time apart from sleeping and going out with friends? Watching the TV! And one thing that is impossible to escape in the afternoon and early evening is the quiz show - so this top ten is a salute to the worst among their number. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Deal or no Deal (picking numbered boxes is not a game show) Countdown (let’s be honest, it’s a bit dull) Family Fortunes (where do I start...) Pointless (the name says it all) Egg Heads (the eggheads aren’t really all that, especially CJ) The Chase (for ripping off Egg Heads) Only Connect (a good idea, let down by its arrogant host) The Weakest Link (surely they’ve found all the weakest links by now?) Million Pound Drop (words don’t describe its banality) Who Wants to be a Millionaire (past its sell by date... (and that’s just Chris Tarrant)

By Tom Norris

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Men’s Basketball Keele University 1sts vs. University of Cumbria Men’s Basketball 1sts Keele went into this game knowing that a win would launch them into serious contention for this season’s divisional title, but you’d never have guessed that they were a team under pressure. Keele arrived to find themselves in what seemed like one of the coldest locations known to man, pitch black and with ice all over the roads. Odell Bente exclaimed that he was “going back to Grenada” because of the sub-zero temperatures. The venue told us that we had to wait 50 minutes before we could go on court and Cumbria's team captain advised us that we'd only have a 10-15 minute warm up, despite the long journey and lack of refreshments. As the tension mounted before the game, the realisation of the importance of the game started to dawn on the Keele men. Nerves started to kick in, the agitated movements started and then Acquah characteristically provided entertainment, filling the leisure centre with laughter and reducing the tension. For some strange reason, Cumbria pulled a curtain across the court so that the teams couldn't see each other warming up. The curtain wasn't drawn back until 3 minutes before tipoff and Cumbria had completed their warm up. Suddenly, over 70 people arrived to watch the game and sat all around the court and even had the cheek to sit on our team bench! In a surprise move, Coach Williams started the game with the small Guard orientated line up of Acquah, Passey, Callum Adamson, Paul Hanson and Oskar Werner. Tactically, this should have been a mistake. Coach Williams, who has an unbelievable faith in his players ability, wanted to see how Cumbria were going to play against a standard zone and man-man defence. Using their 6'5 Centre, Cumbria played the inside game and took a 6-0 lead and looked composed and capable of running away with the game. Once Cumbria had shown their hand, Williams switched the starting five and with Toby Deekens, Odell Bente, Jason Agbodza and Adeo Fraser on court, Keele brought Cumbria back and into team foul trouble within minutes. The aggressive, no nonsense style of the Cumbrian big men seemed to cause concern to guard Jason Agbodza and he collected 2 quick personal fouls. This was easily remedied with Paul Hanson taking the responsibility of shutting down the inside game, which he did extremely well. The 1st quarter ended 13-9 to Cumbria, but they weren't having it all their own way. 22

The 2nd quarter was full of missed chances, poor passing and nerves by both teams. Cumbria knew that they had only played the bottom teams so far and knew that this was the sternest test they'd had so far. Keele knew that a win would set them up for the divisional title. Despite Keele's overwhelming dominance, Cumbria led at the half 25-21. An impassioned halftime team talk saw Keele come out all guns blazing. Again, using a fast paced Guard lineup, Keele took apart Cumbria defence, stole the ball at will and took their chances well. Playing their new triangle defence, Keele's Ivan Kabalila, Odell Bente and Chevoy Gooden terrorised the Cumbrian guards and showed why they have some of the fastest hands in the division. They hassled Cumbria at every opportunity and played with renewed abandon. Keele took the 3rd quarter 38-34 and the game was theirs to win or lose. Cumbria came out of the blocks expecting more of the same from Keele. Instead, Keele played a shooting game, luring Cumbria into playing a zone and then Keele played a press into their triangle defence which confused Cumbria totally. Keele ran out eventual winners 53-42 but the margin of victory could have been substantially more, such was Keele's dominance in the 2nd half. The changing room was filled with cheers as the Keele team realised that the Division 4A title was close at hand and they had just won their first away game in 3 seasons! “MC Little Bottle”, AKA Michael Acquah led the chants, much to the disgust of the Cumbrian side who were forced to share the same changing room. A delighted Coach Williams said “This team is loaded with talented players who today played as one unit and worked hard for each other” There were many milestones achieved in the game. Keele are now 3-1, 2nd in BUCS Division 4A, have recorded their first away win in 3 seasons and are strong contenders for promotion. The biggest milestone is that Paul Hanson didn't collect a single personal foul in the game - he played 15 minutes and managed to keep his hands to himself! “We're not Champions yet”, added coach Williams, “and we've a lot more work to do before the next game and the end of the season.” Keele's next game is on February 2nd 2011 against the University of Salford, who are currently lying in 6th place.


Men’s Hockey Keele University 1sts vs. Manchester Metropolitan University 1sts The Keele Men’s Hockey 1st XI entered their cup fixture against MMU 1st XI full of expectation, after leaving Liverpool Hope wishing they’d taken up the those optional Wednesday afternoon foreign language modules, or gone for a visit home rather than play hockey - they’d suffered an 18-0 drubbing in the first round. Keele started the game against MMU with a familiar energy and confidence, with Angus McCormick testing the keeper early on. Keele struggled to find their rhythm however and endured a stint of sustained pressure from MMU, forcing a set of routine saves from Kasim Abbas. Keele soon upped the pace, however, and were rewarded with a goal. Tom Kirschen cushioned a delightful Adam Priston square ball into the net, following some good work from Ewan Robertson down the left. Keele made it 2-0 soon after, with Ewan Robertson once again splitting the MMU defence to set up Kabir Bowry who coolly slotted the rebound after forcing a fine save from the keeper. Unfortunately the match was tainted by a less than exemplary disciplinary record from Keele, with both Ewan Robertson and Pete Youll earning green cards for dissent. Pete Youll however continued to aim his toddler-esque theatrics at the umpire, earning himself a yellow

card for his trouble. Despite the reduction to 10 men, Keele continued their rampage toward goal unfazed, with Tom Kirschen netting once again with a low flick into the bottom left corner to make it 3-0. Controversy struck just before half time, when Ewan Robertson’s superb strike from a short corner was disallowed, and a stray ball also met the face of one MMU defender. Both events were met with similar discontent. Keele started the second half strongly, with Mitch Smith putting in a number of classic ‘hard man’ tackles, earning himself deserved comparisons with noted thespian Vinnie Jones. Karma however imposed its universal force, with noted sulker Pete Youll sustaining a minor foot injury. In the closing 10 minutes, the victory was wrapped up in emphatic fashion with Berbatov-esque poacher Adam Priston, cheekily lobbing the stranded keeper to make it 4-0, and then striking late on to make the final score 5-0. Speaking to captain Phil Williams after the match, he described the victory as ‘like going to Alton Towers: it had its ups and downs, but no-one was sick.’ By Jack Corden


Keele Cheerleading Club

Photo by Alex Clifford

Here at Keele, an exciting new club has recently launched – a cheerleading team. I met with the Club Captain, Lauren Mason, to get to know what they are all about. Instantly, you can see that the club is destined for great things this year. The club have launched themselves in all the right ways, bringing in talented coach Hayley Fox to attract members by ensuring stability, quality and most of all enjoyment. Hayley has an impressive background in coaching prestigious cheerleading groups and Keele are very excited to welcome her to work with the team. Hearing about this new club, you can get a real sense of the enthusiasm and the great ideas that have been combined with hard work to create this new exciting addition to the Athletic Union. Cheerleading at Keele The club has started up with the aim of attracting girls, and guys, into a group which has its sights set on cheering on all the teams at Varsity and entering into the national competition hosted by the British Cheerleading Association. This competition is entered by about 20 university teams each year, including the Staffordshire Scarlettes, our well-known rivals! So far there have been two sessions that have been well attended by an enthusiastic group. The team have already got to grips with some interesting stunts, jumps and choreography! The group is friendly and are excited to welcome more new faces to their growing and ambitious team! Open to All Cheerleading isn’t just about skimpy outfits and pom-poms (although members are actively encouraged to wear their uniforms around campus!) It is an interesting, and at times challenging, mix between gymnastics and dance. It is a sport in which there is a role for everyone, whether you want to be in the limelight or be an integral part of the team. Don’t be intimidated by the mention of gymnastics! The club is designed so that those with experience of cheerleading and athletic stunts are catered for, as well as complete beginners. The season has only just started, and the team has the rest of the year to grow together into a unit. With the help and guidance of the coach, everyone will become a valuable asset to the team, as long as they’re committed! Training Sessions Lauren and the other two committee members, Amy and Charlotte, want to welcome girls and guys of all abilities to the training sessions in the Gymnasium at Keele Leisure Centre on Saturdays from 2-4pm! Go down and check it out, they are a lovely group and they will be delighted to see you there! For more information on the club join the Facebook group ‘Keele University Cheerleaders’.

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The Alarming Apathy to Sports at Keele: An Unhealthy Student Body? By Dan Casey At Keele University there is a pronounced problem with regards to levels of student participation in sports. While the campus is vibrant with activity and culture, health and physical activity take a backseat. This is of severe detriment to the physical and psychological health of many students. Around one in seven of you that read this article will get involved in organised physical activity while at Keele. I use the term ‘organised physical activity’ because we are all aware that exercising, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle through exercising, does not mean aspiring to be the next Wayne Rooney. However, at Keele, the figures available suggest that participation rates are largely along the lines of Athletic Union membership levels – a statistic that is largely disappointing. There are, approximately, just over 10,000 students at Keele. Athletic Union membership in the academic year 2009/10 was at 1226 and the figures for 2010/11 are largely similar. The other measurable participation at Keele is at the Keele Leisure Centre, where in the Academic Year 2009/10 1067 students made use of either the gym facilities or took part in any of the numerous classes offered. Of the 1067 students measured here, 21% of those are Athletic Union members. After simple mathematics, one can see that measurable participation at Keele is 16%. So what? The World Health Organisation released an interesting report back in 2003 that documented its worry that 60% of young adults do not participate in sport and therefore fail to benefit from the well documented and impressive health gains. Included in the report is this statement: “An increase in physical fitness will reduce the risk of premature death, and a decrease in physical fitness will increase the risk. The effect appears to be graded, such that even small improvements in physical fitness are associated with a significant reduction in risk”. I could go on for pages and reference dozens of reports which are very serious and researched over fifty years that do ultimately tell you that if you don’t exercise a little bit, you will probably die younger and probably from heart related illnesses. However, for me the most interesting studies are ones that prove that physical activity makes you happier. Studies show that exercise has a positive influence on depression, physical self-worth and physical self-perception, including body image and self esteem. Why? There are several reasons for the alarmingly low participation rates at Keele in my opinion: Lack of funding Low quality facilities (in comparison to other institutions, locally and nationally) No academic sports department Lack of sporting culture/tradition Low incentives for participation I have written at length on each of the points above, and am confident that if you are one of the students who does not participate in sport at Keele you would cite the lack of quality facilities as the main reason behind this.


Resolution? Invest in more permanent Sports Development professionals Currently the university employs just one professional with the dedicated job description of ‘Sports Development Officer’, Michael Huss. However, he spends the vast majority of his time administrating for the Athletic Union. Regardless, the work he has done this year has had a profound impact on the success of teams on and off the field, working closely with the executive committee of every club he has helped develop realistic action plans and is helping work towards achieving them (in case of the football club, with Huss’ guidance the club are already two years ahead of schedule). The effect of a full time professional would be phenomenal. With a full time professional dedicating all their effort throughout the year on engaging and encouraging the student population there would be instant and measurable results. Time could be spent effectively communicating incentives and benefits of physical activity. Introduce a compulsory physical education component to the first year of the undergraduate curriculum On a Wednesday afternoon it is well documented that a huge majority of students do not take advantage of Wednesday afternoon for sports. As explained earlier, only 10% of the Keele student population are members of the Athletic Union and only another 8% use the Keele Leisure Centre at any time of the week. This means that up to 90% of students have Wednesday afternoon ‘off’. My proposal is that students should be required in their first year to participate in a wide range of available activities. For example mountaineering, cycling, football tournaments, rowing and anything else that would be of popular demand. This could take the form of a module that must be completed for progression to the second year of study at university (of course, disabled students and students with genuine injuries supported by a doctor would be exempt and allowed to progress). I believe that of the 90% who currently do not engage in Wednesday afternoon sport, there would be a reasonable proportion who would continue the activities in their second and third years voluntarily because of the obvious health benefits, social interaction and genuine enjoyment. The retention of participants would certainly bring the university participation rate to a reasonable level in comparison to the current situation. I tentatively asked on Facebook for opinions from other students about the viability of such a scheme, and understandably got a mixed response – some embracing the idea while others violently rejected it: Sam Higham: “Ridiculous. It would stop people who don't enjoy sport/exercise coming to university, and we would end up like the American system which is full up with unintelligent 'jocks' simply because they are good at sport. Loughborough is bad enough.” Lisa Bidder: “Given that excercise is good for the mind, stimulates the brain, improves mental health etc I can't see any reason not to.” Sean Szabo: “Here's a brash list of pros and cons as I see it - Negatives: a few will kick up a fuss. That’s it. Positives – Fitter girls. Healthier people saving the NHS millions of pounds. Cleverer people with generally healthier lifestyles.” Tom Verghese: “I don't think you could ever implement exercise into either further or higher education as they're both elective in their nature, which is the main difference between this education and schools where of course it's compulsory, along with PE.” James Bennett: “I literally can't see a negative from this - Anyone who would be put off from university through the offering of FREE activity sessions whatever that be are too blinkered/naive to see the benefits and should probably have their application rejected for not being able to formulate an objective opinion.” I’d love to hear what you have to say about anything in this article – email Dan Casey at sportseditor@kusu.keele.ac.uk if you have questions or opinions!

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Beardyman - Gypsy Fish Are you one of the many people that go through life wondering what a drum and bass influenced disco medley about about a gypsy fish would sound like? Well fear not! Expert beat boxer come live looping extraordinaire Beardyman has answered your prayers! I’m not usually a fan of drum and bass, but even I can’t deny that this man oozes pure talent! I like I like Gypsy Fish, I like to bake them in a dish!

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Sean Szabo

BIO... Sean is entering his second year of his Business Management and Marketing degree. Sean was part of the successful 2009/10 1st team, who gained promotion in BUCS, won Varsity, and scooped ‘Team of the Year’ at the AU presentation ball. Having served a year as Club Treasurer, Sean was elected as Club Captain for the 2010/11 season. Last season ended with Varsity in March which, due to the size of the occasion, was probably the pinnacle of the year. The team beat Staffs who were the equivalent of 2 divisions above Keele. Sean scored both goals in a 2-1 win, but he took great delight in the fact that “Bennett’s awful touch – a regular feature throughout the season (and a predominant factor in the own goal that handed Varsity 2009 to Staffs) – was caught on camera in hilarious circumstances on the Varsity DVD for all to see”

QUESTIONS... There are rumours that you are an elite athlete. Presumably that means you can ply your trade in more than one sport - if there wasn't a football club at Keele, which sport would you play? The rumours are true, but I’m not sure about the ‘more than one sport’ part. I know how to swing a tennis racket, can hold a cricket bat, and have been known to sink a few decent shots in basketball, but if there was no football at Keele I’d probably be trying to improve my undeveloped potential in pool! What is the most - printable - inappropriate thing you have witnessed while playing for the 1st Team at Keele? Narrowing it down there, but a quite outrageous quote from Jonny Clay last year springs to mind; “Having a handbag is so stressful.” Wow. K.U.F.C. 1st XI are flying up the BUCS Divisions, winning their division last year and looking set to seal their second successive division title and promotion. What has been the key to this success? I’d say the key to this success is the team unity we have. We work hard for each other and win together. Playing with your mates is a lot easier than playing with people you don’t get on with, and I think that’s made all the difference. 28




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