Mar. 2023 - Maryland Leaf

THE FLOWER ISSUE

SunMed is leading the way in Maryland with a commitment to for our medical cannabis products.

This New Year, give yourself (and our planet) the gift of sustainability when you buy SunMed pre-rolls, vapes and concentrate products in biodegradable packaging made with rice husk and wood pulp.

Medical cannabis is for use only by a qualifying patient. Consumption of medical cannabis may impair your ability to drive a car or operate machinery. Please use extreme caution. There may be health risks associated with cannabis use, especially during pregnancy or breast-feeding. Accidental consumption of cannabis by children or animals may result in severe adverse reactions. Keep cannabis out of the reach of children and animals.

Earthquake Sativa

THCa: 34.45%

THC: 30.31%

Terpenes: 3.08%

POWERFUL NEW GENETICS HAVE COME TO MARYLAND

Grown directly by a small team of our master and most senior cultivators, Cultivar™ represents decades of expertise and plentiful direct experience in medical, recreational, and legacy communities. It’s a distinctive brand which provides best-in-class growers with the time, environment, and freedom to do what they do best.

As medical cannabis lovers ourselves, we take great pride in the unrelenting pursuit of quality at every step in our process to craft a product that is truly a cut above the rest.

WES ABNEY CEO & FOUNDER wes@leafmagazines.com

MIKE RICKER OPERATING PARTNER ricker@leafmagazines.com

TOM BOWERS CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER tom@leafmagazines.com

DANIEL BERMAN CREATIVE DIRECTOR daniel@leafmagazines.com

EARLY MARYLAND LEAF PUBLISHER early@leafmagazines.com

WYATT EARLY STATE DIRECTOR wyatt@leafmagazines.com (410) 961-8779

MEGHAN RIDLEY COPY EDITOR meghan@leafmagazines.com

ABOUT THE COVER

It was the summertime in Southern Humboldt and multiple Emerald Cup award winner Jason Gelman of Ridgeline Farms was growing a few of the Humboldt Seed Co. pheno hunt winners from 2021. Good thing Erik Christiansen @erik.nugshots was on site to snap this shot of what Jason named the Poddy Mouth! The strain has made its way around the U.S. via Humboldt's seed or the original clone. Erik has become wellknown for his intricate macro photography of Cannabis flower and concentrates, and recently released a book of his favorite photographs. Be sure to visit our website, LeafMagazines.com, to see the other covers we released this month with Erik's work.

COVER & INTERIOR PHOTOS

ERIK CHRISTIANSEN @ERIK.NUGSHOTS

CONTRIBUTORS

WES ABNEY, FEATURES BOBBY BLACK, DESIGN + FEATURES

JOSHUA BOULET, ILLUSTRATION

TOM BOWERS, FEATURES

EARLY, PRODUCTION

WYATT EARLY, FEATURES

STEVE ELLIOTT, NATIONAL NEWS

ERIK CHRISTIANSEN, PHOTOS

MATT JACKSON, FEATURES

GREG MALCOLM, PHOTOS

TAYLOR MARTIN, FEATURES

BAXSEN PAINE, FEATURES

NATHANIEL PENNINGTON, FEATURES

JESSE RAMIREZ, DESIGN

MIKE RICKER, FEATURES

MEGHAN RIDLEY, EDITING

RYAN SANETEL, FEATURES

NATE WILLIAMS, FEATURES

BRUCE WOLF, PHOTOS

KATHERINE WOLF, FEATURES

LAURIE WOLF, RECIPES

We are creators of targeted, independent Cannabis journalism. Please email us to discuss advertising in the next issue of MarylandLeaf Magazine. We do not sell stories or coverage. We can offer design services and guidance on promoting your company’s medicinal, recreational, commercial or industrial Cannabis business, product or event within our magazine and on our website, leafmagazines.com. Email wyatt@leafmagazines.com to start advertising with Maryland Leaf!

CONNECT WITH MARYLAND LEAF

WES ABNEY

Editor’s Note

Thanks for picking up The Flower Issue of the Leaf!

Flower power might be a hippie concept, but it really hits the spot with a tasty toke of delicious Cannabis. How lucky are we as humans that our favorite plant has evolved to not only get us high, but feel better?

When you look at the natural world of plants and animals, most evolutionary traits have been developed to protect the species – usually at the expense of whatever unlucky animal comes along for a bite. From the poison dart frog to the stinging nettle, there are very few options that humans can eat and feel better from. This idea is especially prevalent in mushrooms, where similar looking fungi can either be edible or deadly. Thankfully, we have thousands of years of human development and experimentation to credit for our current ability to safely choose our plant-based medicines and recreational adventures.

Going back to Cannabis, it seems beyond lucky that the trichomes and terpenes the plant develops and expresses to keep deer and bugs away, actually light up the human endocannabinoid system perfectly. And if you really want to trip out, don’t forget that it’s the same limonene terpenes in Cannabis that are also in citrus fruits!

I feel very blessed to have found our plant beneficial to my health needs, so much so that I started the Leaf in 2010 to share that truth and fight the war on drugs. Back then we didn’t have advanced extraction methods or even the science to isolate THC, let alone the amazing developments of today that have taken the plant into so many uncharted territories. Walk into a dispensary nowadays and you’ll see a whole pharmacy of options that’ll get you high and well at the same time … but what you won’t see in most states is the plant itself.

That’s why we decided to revamp our strains/genetics-themed edition with the official Flower Issue of the Leaf – to talk about the plant, share beautiful photos, and reconnect with the gift that grows from the ground for all of humankind’s benefit. Thank you for reading and sharing the Leaf, and as we head into springtime, please consider planting your own flowers once the dreaded April showers have concluded. There are few greater joys in life than growing and consuming your own Cannabis – an experience every lover of the plant should have at least once. Flower power for the win!

Abney

NORTHWEST LEAF / OREGON LEAF / ALASKA LEAF / MARYLAND LEAF / CALIFORNIA LEAF / NORTHEAST LEAF

“IT SEEMS BEYOND LUCKY THAT THE TRICHOMES AND TERPENES THE PLANT DEVELOPS AND EXPRESSES TO KEEP DEER AND BUGS AWAY, ACTUALLY LIGHT UP THE HUMAN ENDOCANNABINOID SYSTEM PERFECTLY.” -Wes

SENATE COMMITTEE APPROVES CANNABIS RESEARCH FOR VETS

AU.S. Senate committee approved a bipartisan bill on February 18 to promote Cannabis research for military veterans. It is the first piece of standalone marijuana legislation to ever advance through a committee in the chamber.

Because the Senate Veterans’ Affairs Committee did not have a quorum present to act on the bill, members instead approved the legislation in a more informal “off the floor” session later in the day.

The VA Medicinal Cannabis Research Act was sponsored by panel Chairman Jon Tester (D-MT) and Sen. Dan Sullivan (R-AK). It is intended to mandate studies by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) to explore the therapeutic potential of marijuana for veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and chronic pain.

MARIJUANA SALES BILL FAILS TO PASS IN VIRGINIA

Virginia won’t begin Cannabis sales by 2024 after the last remaining bill to set up the market failed, reports WRIC. A GOP-controlled House of Delegates subcommittee voted 5-3 along party lines February 14 to kill legislation from Sen. Adam Ebbin (D-Alexandria) that would have paved the way for adult-use sales to begin next year.

Under current law, people 21 and up in Virginia can have up to an ounce of weed on them or grow up to four plants in their homes. Virginians can also buy marijuana for medicinal purposes with a medical authorization, but there’s no way for adults to purchase it for recreational use.

“The axed bill would have paved the way for adult-use sales to begin next year.”

The bill passed in 2021 to allow marijuana possession included a reenactment clause, which requires the General Assembly to approve the measure again and set a framework for retail sales. Lawmakers set a 2024 target for legal sales – but the efforts to create a regulatory framework for the market have continued to fail in the Republican-controlled General Assembly.

MEDICAL POT DEBATE CONTINUES IN N.C.

DEBATE ON the legalization of medical Cannabis in North Carolina resumed in the state senate on February 15, reports WLOS. A very similar bill creating the framework for its sale and use passed the full chamber by a wide margin just eight months ago.

The Senate Judiciary Committee debated but did not vote on new legislation, which was filed at the start of the new twoyear General Assembly session. Sen. Bill Rabon, a Brunswick County Republican, said he and his fellow sponsors wanted to review amendments before a committee meeting next week. Prospects for passage again in the Senate are strong this year. But the bill's future will likely rest in the House – which declined to take up the previous proposal before going home last summer. Speaker Tim Moore suggested recently that support was possible in his chamber this year for legalizing medicinal pot and would be particularly true with tight controls.

TWITTER CHANGES MIND ON POT ADS

TWITTER WILL NOW allow Cannabis advertising.

The change comes as the social media platform struggles for new revenue. The company updated its policies on February 5 to allow marijuana ads to run on its services in the states where weed is legal.

While other platforms have allowed marijuana-adjacent products, such as cannabidiol (CBD) to be advertised, Twitter has adopted the most explicit advertising opportunity for marijuana users within federal guidelines.

LEGALIZATION HAS CREATED 30K JOBS FOR ILLINOIS RESIDENTS

THE GOVERNOR OF ILLINOIS says that the state’s marijuana legalization law has created more than 30,000 jobs since the market launched in 2020.

During his State of the State and Budget address on February 15, Gov. J.B. Pritzker, a Democrat, touted the job creation figure, adding that “Illinois is home to the country’s most diverse Cannabis industry and some of the largest companies.”

east coast

NEW HAMPSHIRE PANEL APPROVES LEGALIZATION

ANew Hampshire legislative committee put its finishing touches on a revised bill to legalize marijuana, approving it February 15.

Members of the House Commerce and Consumer Affairs Liquor Subcommittee have been working on the legislation for weeks over a series of meetings. They debated a variety of provisions and amendments to the original measure that was filed by bipartisan House leaders.

The full committee accepted final amendments on February 15 and passed the bill in a 17-3 vote.

“...the state’s existing Liquor Commission will be in charge of regulating the marijuana market.”

A major change to the legislation from its introduced form would put the state’s existing Liquor Commission in charge of regulating the marijuana market, rather than create a new independent commission to do so, as was proposed in the original version of HB 639. The body would also be renamed the Liquor and Cannabis Commission.

NORMALIZATION

MINNESOTA D.A.R.E. READIES FOR LEGALIZATION

The D.A.R.E. program in Minnesota is preparing for the potential legalization of marijuana in the state.

“Illinois is home to the country’s most diverse Cannabis industry and some of the largest companies.”

He also included the marijuana company 4Front in a list of the “large businesses” that are “moving to and expanding in Illinois.”

“It’s becoming normalized, just like alcohol is and tobacco is by so many families,” fretted Executive Director Kathi Ackerman. “Other kids are going to do it.”

“Ackerman said the D.A.R.E. program will refrain from telling kids not to do marijuana, which they’ve found to be an ineffective strategy.”

Ackerman said the D.A.R.E. program will refrain from telling kids not to do marijuana, which they’ve found to be an ineffective strategy. They’ll continue to teach decision making habits that they hope will stray kids from early adoption.

“We want to delay, delay, delay the use of some of these chemicals,” Ackerman said.

U.S. states have legalized Cannabis. The first states to ever do so were CO and WA in 2012, and most recently in RI, MD and MO in 2022.

pounds is the amount of an Arkansas man’s illegal marijuana bust back in February.

53 increase in Florida medical marijuana patients has been seen in two years.

71%

$5.5m

$20m

was announced in grants for underserved marijuana retail areas in California.

STORIES by STEVE ELLIOTT, AUTHOR OF THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK

was the fine for an unlicensed marijuana store called Jungle Boyz, located in lower Manhattan, according to the New York Post.

$50k

was donated by Tallahassee, FL-based MMJ company Trulieve last month to the Florida adult-use legalization campaign for the 2024 ballot.

MARYLAND LEAF BUDTENDER OF THE MONTH

SARAH BEAVERS

WHAT FIRST SPARKED YOUR INTEREST WITH CANNABIS IN GENERAL? I smoked it a few times at the age of 12 and liked it, but then stopped for a little because I was young. I started smoking much more in high school, where I fell in love with the biology of the plant and its medicinal properties. I had a strong curiosity, and needed to study it and know why it made me feel the way it did.

HOW DO YOU PLAN ON BRINGING YOUR UPCOMING DEGREE IN BIOLOGY TO THE CANNABIS WORLD? I definitely want to dabble into Cannabis tissue culture, and help get some new strains out on the market. I am a big fan of 1:1 products, so I want to focus on those if possible because they help clear my mind during strong anxiety sessions.

WHAT EMERGING TRENDS DO YOU SEE IN THE MARYLAND CANNABIS MARKET? I see a big increase in the amount of concentrates on the market, from cartridges to dabs. I’m a big concentrate/indica girl! I seek out strains with high ocimene due to the effects – so anytime I see that on a terpene profile, I try to stock up.

WHAT IS YOUR BEST APPROACH WITH NEW CANNABIS PATIENTS? I try to figure out why they are interested in using Cannabis as medicine and what they are looking to treat physically or emotionally. A lot of people can’t smoke, so I recommend topicals for pain because I use them myself for cramps and it’s magical. My grandma even uses it for her arthritis now – after I convinced her to get her medical card. My family used to be against using Cannabis, but now we all smoke a joint together during Christmas.

SARAH is originally from Calvert County, and is currently a student at the College of Southern Maryland where she studies Biological Sciences. She loves hiking … and her cat is even lucky enough to be her companion on some of these treks. Art is always on the horizon as well, whether Sarah’s painting pictures or crafting clay ashtrays in her free time. Her team describes her as showing strong signs of leadership in her position, while remaining a team player in all aspects. A jack of all trades, Sarah brings a high vibe to the Starbuds crew and the patients that shop there.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE WAY TO CONSUME CANNABIS? FAVORITE STRAIN? I started out smoking flower, and then found myself smoking 15 Backwoods in one day. I was spending a ton of money and coughing up black stuff, so I knew it was time to switch to concentrate. I could hit a dab and be good for a while, even though now I dab a lot more than that. I really like Evermore Cold Cured Live Rosin and I was a big fan of the gLeaf Aqua Tech dabs.

WHAT IS THE CULTURE LIKE WORKING AT STARBUDS? This is the only dispensary I have ever worked in, and I know we care about helping the patients more than anything. Finding the products that help patients out the most is our main focus. We’re like a family here.

“A LOT OF PEOPLE CAN’T SMOKE, SO I RECOMMEND TOPICALS FOR PAIN BECAUSE I USE THEM MYSELF FOR CRAMPS AND IT’S MAGICAL.”

GREEN GOODS GREEN GOODS

Green Goods’ Baltimore location opened in December of 2021 on North Point Boulevard in the location of a former dispensary. Patients love this store for their seasoned team of industry professionals, ranging from the budtenders to the managers. They make access to Cannabis easier than ever – including a curbside pickup option, as well as a window in the store for online orders. The menu is already stacked with a massive selection of flower, concentrates, edibles and vapes, and it will be exciting to see the product selection continue to grow as adult use comes into play later this year.

SETTING & VIBE

Down to earth but medicinally focused would be the best way to describe this dispensary and the staff. You could sit and chat with budtenders about anything from how your day is going to what the newest products are, which they’ve definitely already tried and can steer you toward or away from with confidence. Make sure to check out the front room with a large mural of a Cannabis plant and some scientific terminology – it’s a wonderful way to get thinking about the plant and asking important questions of your knowledgeable budtenders.

FLOWER

We are spoiled for choice in today’s market, and this shop is a prime example of that – keeping around 100+ Cannabis strains on the menu at any given time. By keeping the selection so robust, they are making sure that every patient who is interested in flower is getting what they need for their regimen with respect to price and potency. Cheaper options like small buds, shake and trim are always available, as well as high-end, harder-to-find strains appearing on the regular.

CONCENTRATES

The amount of live resins they have from Kings and Queens at Green Goods is unreal – including over 18 different strains at the time of my visit. You can also expect to find heavy hitters from all of your favorite brands like Grassroots, SunMed Labs, Select and District Cannabis.

EDIBLES

Finally, we have reached the day where we can find chocolates in different varieties and baked goods on dispensaries’ edible shelves. They had several different types of chocolate including blonde, milk and dark from HiCOLOR, in addition to their huge selection of gummy flavors and potencies. Some of the gummies are as high as 40mg THC, which is a big improvement for patients that need high-dose products.

BLONDE CHOCOLATE BITES

You might be asking yourself, what is blonde chocolate? Imagine a more caramelized version of the white variety … rich and chocolatey with a caramel twist. These edibles are made using gluten-free, non-GMO couverture chocolate, which gives them a glossy texture and a smooth bite. At 10mg per piece, I found myself eating between one and two chocolates per dose – but they are easy to cut into halves as well. Check out this flavor and the other HiCOLOR offerings!

100MG THC PER BAG | 10MG THC PER PIECE VIREOHEALTH.COM @VIREOHEALTH

“By keeping the selection so robust, they are making sure that every patient who is interested in flower is getting what they need for their regimen with respect to price and potency.”

HICOLOR

justin brooks PATIENT OF THE MONTH

SIX YEARS AGO, Justin “Justo” Brooks was facing a 10-year sentence in prison for a felony charge of conspiracy to commit a theft over $10,000 and under $100,000. Today, “Justo” is a rising star on the DMV comedy scene opening for national headliners such as Eddie Griffin and Chris Redd.

A Baltimore resident and Brooklyn native, Justin was arrested following a 2016 raid on his Silver Springs apartment – a day he recalls as no laughing matter.

“That was one of the scariest moments of my life,” said the 33-year old, who welcomed a suspended sentence and probation. “They broke my door down, threw a smoke bomb in my face, slammed me to the ground and put a bunch of rifles in my face. That moment led me to re-examining my life and the decisions I had made that led to that point.”

Justin previously attended Howard University with dreams of becoming a mechanical engineer, but fell short of the necessary credits after four years. He chose engineering “because they made a lot of money” and he excelled at math. But his financial aid ran dry and he could no longer afford to attend the prestigious HBCU.

At 22, he was a college dropout who still desired the monetary status of his former dream career. So he began selling drugs and finding “other little schemes” to line his pockets.

“I was bouncing around from different ventures –some legal, some illegal,” he recalled. “I was really just trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life.”

Justin’s arrest, coupled with the death of a close friend, forced him to take a long look in the mirror.

“For a long time, I was chasing money,” the Parkville High graduate said. “I was 29 and I figured it was time to start chasing something I wanted to do. I couldn’t be 30 without knowing what my purpose in life was.”

In 2019, Justin began performing stand-up comedy routines at open mic nights. As he recalls, he wasn’t very good at the start.

“I went to two open mics, but they didn’t go the way I wanted to,” he said. “So I just started going to watch – to see if I was missing something. I found that I needed to write about real things that happened in my life and what I thought was funny about that. Once I figured that out, I had a really good set – and from there, I just put my foot on the gas with it.”

When the world came to a halt in 2020, Justin kept moving forward, winning the New Comedian of the Year Award at Maryland’s top rated comedy club: Magooby’s in Timonium. He began performing in clubs throughout the DMV, grinding seven days a week to live out his new dream.

“Comedy saved my life,” said Justin, whose comedic influences growing up include Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Cedric the Entertainer, Bernie Mac and Roy Wood Jr. “The situations I put myself in before [making this a career] were very scary. So in order for me to do comedy the way I want, I have to speak about [those things]. There’s always a message in what I’m saying [on stage].”

While he has found grace under the bright lights of stardom, medical Cannabis can often be found in the backroom serving up an assist.

“For me, it helps,” said Justin, who sought out a medical card while on probation to treat anxiety. Justin also uses Cannabis to treat chronic back pain resulting from a high-speed car accident returning home from a New Year’s Eve comedy performance in 2019.

“I don’t need weed to be funny,” he added, “but it helps me be more relaxed and not as anxious. When I can put aside my anxiety, that allows the funny to be in front.”

He has become a regular at Magooby’s, as well the Baltimore Comedy Factory. He is also one of the headliners at The Port – a new comedy club in the Fells Point neighborhood of Baltimore City.

In 2021, Justin won an open mic competition at the famous Laugh Factory. The following year, he opened for the aforementioned Griffin – the star of the 2002 hit movie “Undercover Brother.”

“I featured for [Eddie] four shows and he got a standing ovation,” Justin said. “After the last show, we were in the green room and he dapped me up and gave me a hug. He said, ‘You got that shit that makes a motherfucker a superstar.’ Hearing Eddie Griffin say that put chills up my spine.”

Griffin, he recalls, told him that he had soul and he needed to protect it with his life. That soul, Justin is quick to acknowledge, was rescued by comedy and Cannabis. It’s a pairing he begins the day with, smoking and writing jokes upon waking. And goes to sleep with … falling asleep to legendary stand-up performances of the past.

“I still remember my first time,” said Justin, who smokes sativa-filled joints before a show, while choosing an indica-leaning nightcap to rein in the adrenaline afterwards.

“I was 15 years old and it was after school. I didn’t feel anything at first. But then I started walking down these stairs and I noticed, ‘I’m feeling real light.’” “That’s when I started feeling the effects, and I’ve been smoking ever since.”

“I don’t need weed to be funny,” he added, “but it helps me be more relaxed and not as anxious. When I can put aside my anxiety, that allows the funny to be in front.”

LUCKYORCHARD COLD CURED LIVE ROSIN

EVERMORE’S Lucky Orchard live rosin is one of the most interesting profiles I have seen on the market and I’m ecstatic to have the pleasure of describing its delicious glory.

For those of you who forgot or never knew, rosin is a form of solventless extract wherein the resin oil is extracted via heat and pressure – essentially squeezed from the plant rather than pulled out by solvents. It represents one of the most pure and highest grades of product on the market, but this Lucky Orchard from Evermore really takes it up a notch with its supreme quality and niche terpene profile.

Boasting an impressive 12.43% total terpenes, this rosin is basically a flavor bomb. But what makes it even more unique is the top five terps represented: limonene, linalool, caryophyllene, myrcene and pinene. The limonene and linalool combination (3.26% and 2.18%) are my ideal pairing for optimal mental health –bringing a serotonin dump and anxiolytic qualities that work well for managing the stresses of the day.

The aroma is excellent, with a delicious earthiness and fuel overtone underscored by light spices and fruit. The high, however, is one of the best headspaces I have ever experienced. The Lucky Orchard live rosin literally transported me to a clear-headed and highlyfunctional, euphoric-yet-mellow orbit that can only be described as “the perfect high.”

I cannot express how exciting it was to find a product with such amazing attributes. Fans of linalool and limonene absolutely must find this live rosin, and for anyone who needs their moods raised and their nerves calmed –this Lucky Orchard is for you.

THCA 77.21%

TOTAL TERPS 12.43%

LIMONENE 3.26%

LINALOOL 2.18%

CARYOPHYLLENE 1.92%

MYRCENE 1.44%

PINENE 1.24%

HUMULENE .49%

EVERMORECOMPANY.COM

@EVERMOREBRANDS

Transported me to a clearheaded and highly-functional, euphoric-yetmellow orbit that can only be described as “the perfect high.”

EVERYONE SHOULD TAKE THE TIME to dive into landrace Cannabis genetics. These are cultivars that evolved from a specific region of the world, and this month’s featured flower is one such special strain. Lamb’s Bread by Nature’s Heritage is a landrace cultivar that comes from Jamaica and is a narrow leaf drug type variety. Landraces evolved to uniquely adapt to the terroir of a given region and offer us a taste of different parts of the world. Additionally, many landraces are used as foundational breeding stock to build new hybridized lines for areas of the world with similar climates.

The team at Nature’s Heritage has done a superb job of bringing up the notable funky goodness that Lamb’s Bread is known for. I generally associate tropical-variety Cannabis with their fruit-forward aromas, but the Lamb’s Bread truly encapsulates a cheesy bud. There are also rich notes of spice, earthy cooking oil and a light funk – but the signature scent is undoubtedly cheese. It’s almost as if these buds tumbled into a bubbling pot of your favorite relative’s mac and cheese, absorbing its nuanced layers and flavorful essence.

For fans of the aforementioned funk, this might be your new favorite cultivar. But beyond the aroma, the Nature’s Heritage crew did an impeccable job rounding out the flavor and effects. Full of toasted and baked notes and wrapped up in a layer of cheesiness, the effect is not what one typically expects from the narrow leaf drug types of Cannabis. This profile reads like a typical indica and seems to perform as such. The toke was the perfect remedy for my pain and slowed me down a bit, but didn’t put me all the way in the couch. It’s exactly the type of functionality I look for in my daily drivers.

TESTING

TOTAL THC 26.27%

TOTAL TERPS 1.73%

CARYOPHYLLENE .22%

MYRCENE 1.16%

LIMONENE .15%

“Full of toasted and baked notes and wrapped up in a layer of cheesiness.”

NATURESHERITAGECANNABIS.COM @NATURESHERITAGECANNABISCO

If you’re searching for one of the most unique wafts of weed smells in Maryland, then look no further than Nature’s Heritage’s Lamb’s Bread for some delectable cheesiness. Just be careful not to accidentally eat a bud instead of your Cheetos when the munchies hit later…

GANJA GLOSSARY

BAG APPEAL The look and attractiveness of a finished flower. This element plays a significant role in how a product will sell – even if the product itself doesn’t smoke as good as it looks.

CALYX Leafy cocoon-like petals in which seeds typically form.

CMH Ceramic Metal Halide. A commonly used type of lighting for indoor Cannabis cultivation.

COCO Refers to shredded coconut husks, which is a commonly used grow medium that splits the difference between soilless and living soil.

CULTIVAR A more scientifically accurate term for “strain.”

FULL TERM A Cannabis plant that has been grown outside to full maturity – also commonly referred to as full sun, sungrown or outdoor. Also a designation for method of cultivation.

HASH STRAIN A cultivar selected particularly for its ability to yield commercially viable volumes of bubble hash when processed. Thanks to the continually increasing interest in and sales of solventless concentrates, these sought-after cultivars are guiding growers’ decisions on what to produce.

HID High Intensity Discharge. A commonly used type of lighting for indoor Cannabis cultivation.

HPS High Pressure Sodium. A commonly used type of lighting for indoor Cannabis cultivation.

HYDRO Short for hydroponics – a method of cultivation in which soil is not used. This style of growing sparked a wave of innovation for indoor cultivation hardware and techniques after the discovery that hydroponically-produced buds displayed bag appeal the likes of which had never been seen before.

HYPE STRAIN Any cultivar that is new and gaining popularity quickly –a simultaneously complimentary and derogatory term.

INDOOR Cannabis cultivated in a fully enclosed, indoor environment, allowing for an unmatched degree of control by the grower.

LED Light Emitting Diode. A rapidly growing type of lighting for indoor Cannabis cultivation that offers lower power usage than other indoor lighting options.

LIGHT DEP Short for light deprivation. A style of cultivation that utilizes greenhouses with the ability to block out light – tricking Cannabis plants into entering the flowering cycle. Psych!

LIVING SOIL Biologically-active grow medium filled with living microbial organisms – it’s alive!

MEDIUM Refers to the type of material a Cannabis plant was grown in. Generally, the more natural it is, the better the end product. But don’t take our word for it … find out for yourself!

PHENOTYPE Scientifically speaking, it’s a set of observable characteristics resulting from the interaction between an individual’s genotype and the environment. In layman’s terms, it’s the unique expression of a particular plant.

PISTIL The female organs of a flower.

ROCKWOOL A soilless inert grow medium made from rock and other minerals that have been melted down and turned into a fibrous wool-like material.

SINGLE SOURCE Applies to inhouse vertical integration in terms of product production on at least two levels. Most often, this term is applied to concentrates that were produced by the same group or individual that grew the material that was processed. When applied to flower, it tends to mean that all the flower found under that label was produced in-house.

SMALLS Cannabis buds from the lower portions of a plant that don’t receive as much light, and therefore don’t grow into large, full-size colas.

STIGMA

The part of a pistil that receives the pollen during pollination.

TERPENES Terps for short. Organically occurring compounds largely responsible for a cultivar’s smell and taste.

ZAZA OR ZA Slang for exotic. Largely used by trappers and traditional market cultivators to describe “high grade” or “top shelf” Cannabis that is very often not “high grade” or “top shelf.”

TOP OF THE POTS

WITH ALL OF THE NEW HEAT BEING HUNTED BY BREEDERS AROUND THE COUNTRY, WE COULDN’T HELP BUT BE CURIOUS: WHAT ARE THE MOST POPULAR STRAINS BY REGION?

So we teamed up with the data analysts at Headset – a company that tracks and aggregates retail sales data for the Cannabis industry – to take a look at the current trends in Cannabis cultivars. There’s some overlap (hey there, Runtz crosses) and a few not-so-surprises (Blue Dream was still in the top 10 in almost every market). It’s worth noting that the top cultivar in every state was actually classified as “Other” because many retailers don’t always input the strain data into their systems –something that will continue to evolve as the industry matures. Check out the top five strains from each these seven states, ranked by sales and market share.

@CANNABOMBTOM/LEAF NATION

WASHINGTON

1. Wedding Cake

2. GG#4

3. Runtz

4. Gelato

5. Blue Dream

OREGON

1. Runtz

2. Bananas

3. Ice Cream Cake

4. GMO Cookies

5. Blueberry Muffin

CALIFORNIA

1. Gelato

2. Wedding Cake

3. Runtz

4. Cereal Milk

5. Garlic cookies

NEVADA

1. Wedding Cake

2. Runtz

3. GMO Cookies

4. Gelato

5. Head Cheese

MICHIGAN

1. Runtz

2. Kush Mints

3. Crescendo

4. Garlic cookies

5. Wedding Cake COLORADO

1. Blue Dream

2. MAC

3. GG4

4. Durban Poison

5. Glueball

MASSACHUSETTS

1. Wedding Cake

2. Runtz

3. Garlic cookies

4. Zkittlez

5. Cheese

ARCHIVE SEED BANK

EXOTIC GENETIX

One of Oregon’s most famous Cannabis brands and the creators of the Moonbow (Zkittlez x Dosidos). Smokers outside the Beaver State may recognize them from their partnership with Connected and Alien Labs. Archive has an unnatural talent for breeding stunning pairings that bring out the best in their parentage. In 2022, they caused heart palpitations by dropping their newest hit, Oishii. Essentially a Moonbow backcross, they described it as “a Damascus blade of candy gas.” Watch out for the next big advancement, as they work on a whole line of hybrids involving Oishii pollen, including a Zkittlez x Oishii cross.

archiveseedbank.com

@archiveseedbank

You can’t put out a Flower Issue without talking about breeders. And you can’t talk about breeders without mentioning the following heat seekers responsible for some of the biggest breakthroughs in Cannabis genetics.

Mike from Exotic Genetix started breeding after seeing the medical patients at the grow shop he worked at having to deal with round after round of substandard, or worse, tainted genetics. The journey that began in a tiny hydroponic store in Tacoma, Wash. has given rise to a brand that’s put out a non-stop playlist of hits like Purple Lambo, Buckin Runtz, Whipped Cherries and Red Pop. That first one was the strain behind California Leaf’s last concentrate of the month. On the future horizon, expect to see people tripping out on new Falcon-9 crosses like Lazer Fuel, Red Rager, Neon Sunshine and Yikes.

exoticgenetix.com

@exoticgenetix_official

HEAT SEEKERS

TIKI MADMAN

A Michigan grower who’s been lighting up the Pacific Coast, Tiki’s been breeding for the last decade – but he popped his first seed when he was only 13 years old. The brand has a reputation for its own outstanding work and collaborations with other legends Cannabis Corey and Mosca Seeds. Tiki Madman has always had a focus on growing for developing strains instead of bag appeal. One of their major heaters is the Devil Driver (Tiki’s Cut Sundae Driver x Melonade). In June of 2022, they dropped the Devil Driver Fems collection, mixing it with Snowman, Lazy Lemon and Toaster Strudel. Tiki Madman has always had a focus on growing for developing strains instead of bag appeal.

tikimadman.com

@tikimadman

SEEKERS

Few breeders are out on the scene like Compton, California’s Masonic. When not running his shop, recording an episode of a podcast, or helping out at an industry event, he’s hard at work in his backyard tending chicken and breeding new hits. Famous for creating Wilson (Banana OG x Papaya) x Tropicana Cookies, his newest accolade is Banana God – a Banana OG x Wilson that’s been gaining attention after winning the gold at Ego Clash 2022. On April 15, he’ll be hosting his third annual Free Seed Day in L.A. Last year saw 1,000 people gathered together to share the joy of cultivation.

masonicseeds.co | @masonicsmoker4.0

MASONIC SEED CO. LANDRACE PRESERVATION SOCIETY

This nonprofit collective is all about being the most authentic and reliable source for heirloom and landrace cultivars from around the world. As more and more hybrid strains come onto the market, this group wants to make sure some of the unique strains that are part of our history aren’t lost to time. One example of this is their Pure Magic, a Himalayan cultivar from Northern India which is bred for Charas production. LPS lines are primarily bred and acclimatized in Oregon’s North Coast and Willamette Valley regions. Selected over generations, their genetics “strive to recreate the mystery and magic of the Cannabis world of the ’60s and ’70s.”

landracepreservationsociety.org

@landrace_preservation_society

AN ODE TO

Walk into nearly any supermarket these days, and you’ll find organic options for products like produce, meat, coffee and wine. Now, the Cannabis industry is finally starting to follow suit.

Organic Cannabis is grown naturally, without the addition of man-made pesticides, chemicals or genetically-modified organisms. This eliminates the risk of inhaling toxins lingering from the growing process and results in flower that is richer in cannabinoids, terpenes and flavonoids. With reduced health risks, stronger effects and more developed flavor profiles, it’s no wonder why organically-grown ganja is in higher demand

than ever before. And as more consumers are seeking out organic flower in dispensaries, more cultivators are starting to adopt organic and regenerative farming practices in their grow. Wanting to learn more, I linked up with Michael Jie-Shen Fang – one of the most prolific breeders, growers and entrepreneurs in the organic Cannabis space known by most simply as “Fang” – to find out what originally sparked his own obsession with organic flower.

Starting back at the very beginning, he tells me about growing up in a little pocket of Orange County that was mostly “concrete jungle and fast food” with health struggles that left him constantly in and out of the doctors and on medication. It wasn’t until moving from SoCal to the Bay Area for college that he learned what the term “organic” even meant.

“Being at UC Berkeley, there were a lot of good natural influences,” Fang tells me. “It was the first time I was exposed to Whole Foods,

Berkeley Bowl and all these co-ops, and the farmers market scene was popping. It was really the culture of the Bay Area that influenced me and opened my eyes to things I didn’t know existed. When I discovered there was even a concept of being holistic and regenerative – relying on your own immune system, using herbs and mushrooms and all this goodness – I was blown away.”

Fang continues to explain more about how the culture of the Bay Area changed his mindset and inspired him to go all in on organic. “I was always so sick and I couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t until I started this holistic lifestyle and doing the organic thing that I was freed from a lot of those ailments,” he explains. “I felt a lot of my pain and discomfort fade away and was actually healthy for the first time. As soon as I became more intentional about my consumption, and stayed away from anything that wasn’t grown holistically by people that cared – that’s what changed everything.”

PORTAL (CAKE X CPKB)

ORGANIC

This commitment to the organic lifestyle quickly extended far beyond just food and into Fang’s Cannabis garden. “When I started focusing more on nutrient density and knowing where my food came from, it made me realize I should do that for my plants, too,” he tells me. “I’ve grown in every different way, and it just became obvious through trying different methods that organic was the best way forward. It was a natural progression.”

A natural progression indeed … one that eventually led him to co-found Gage Green Group, a Cannabis collective focused on furthering organic breeding and fostering collaboration amongst the organic community. A trailblazer in the space and household name amongst any organic OG, Fang’s work now has numerous facets: GGG Natural (a line of adaptogenic mushroom and herbal formulations), Seed

Bank International (an elite genetics catalog featuring some of the most renowned breeders across the globe) and Genetic Designer (his newest passion project for genetic research and seed drops).

He’s also gone into event production, starting The Organic Cup – the only Cannabis competition and trade show dedicated exclusively to natural gardeners – because as he puts it, “Nobody really focuses on organics. It’s basically an afterthought. But for me, it’s my lifeblood, so it just felt logical to start an organic-focused event. Even though not everybody understands it, this lifestyle is the only thing I can really stand behind. Everything I do has an organic or natural aspect to it.”

With Organic Cup events in Michigan, New York and now Barcelona, Fang continues to empower organic breeders and growers all around

the world. When I ask how he envisions the future of organic farming and the Cannabis industry, his eyes light up and we eventually end up back at the supermarket analogy.

“I started from a place where I’d go to the store and there’d be nothing for me. And now there might be a whole section of local or organically-sourced foods,” says Fang. “Cannabis is starting to look the same, and the fact that most new growers are starting as natural farmers shows that the future is trending in that aspect. It’s really awesome to see that slight shift, even though there’s a lot more work to do.”

@f4nggggggg

@therealgagegreengroup

@seedbankinternational

@geneticdesigner

"This commitment to the organic lifestyle quickly extended far beyond just food and into Fang’s Cannabis garden."

For Michael Jie-Shen Fang, organic farming is about more than just flower – it’s a way of life.

JUICY (RS-11 X CPKB)

GUACAMOLE (OREOZ X NYCSD)

EXPLORING THE SEXY ACT OF CANNABIS COPULATION

AH, CANNABIS.

We can’t think of another plant on earth that is more coveted or revered. Its practical uses are too numerous to mention, due at least in part to its biodiversity. What other plant inspires devotees to wait in lines longer than city blocks just to sample new variations in its genetic potential? At the same time, stalwart stewards care for individual living genetics for a quarter century or more, just to preserve the legacy and exact breed that may one day prove to be the elixir, flavor, or antidote we always needed.

All of this magic springs from the simple, sexy act of Cannabis copulation. In the wild, this birds and the bees story might seem pretty traditional.

A male plant pollinates a nearby female plant, usually with the help of the autumn

for breeding “super plants” was possible, Cannabis was illegal. Pioneered by brave stoners over the past 60 years, the legacy of guerrilla breeding is unprecedented and the heritage and oral history should be studied. No other plant has ever been bred in thousands of garages and basements all over the world, each breeder having their own easel of local genetics, working with the canvas of their regional terroir and the demand of their local Cannabis enthusiasts.

Conventional plant breeders might not view the work of our outlaw community over the past 60 years as a real breeding program, but there is no denying that the sheer number of participants, the love for the plant, and traditional breeding practices are responsible for almost all of the major advances in Cannabis genetics. Popular strains known the world over have come

CANNA

breeze. But for Cannabis, sex is actually the exception of the plant kingdom, not the rule. Only six percent of plant species have separate male and female individuals, so most plants can just take care of themselves when they’re in the mood. Sounds a bit lonely (and boring). With Cannabis, the amazing diversity and fast transformations breeders see can be attributed to having two parents – while most plants often have just one.

Beyond the two sexes, Cannabis coitus and evolution have been influenced by humanity. We know for sure that people have used Cannabis medicinally for at least 5,000 years. It’s more than likely that plants with better qualities were selected for survival and propagation and over time, were shared by nomads around Asia, Europe and Africa.

Humans have been self-motivated matchmakers for millennia, and the evolution of the alluring Cannabis flower progressed slowly for eons through both natural and human influence.

Ironically, prohibition may have actually saved Cannabis from the monoculture we see in today's “Big Ag” settings and helped preserve landrace varieties. As we all know, weed has been vilified by racists and greedy businessmen since the early 20th century, so by the time transcontinental world travel and the communication necessary

from unwitting hobbyists, a random seed in a bag of bud, or an overlooked male plant that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. After all, anyone who plays can win the lottery, and judging weed is a pretty subjective effort – with conflicting opinions on what's dank happening as often as consensus. More often than not, if a specific terpene profile or cannabinoid ratio doesn't speak to you, it's just that you haven't tried it in the right context. Who knows? Maybe having the best kind of Cannabis is as simple as having a lot of different kinds of Cannabis…

We think that the smartest breeders would seek to preserve just as often as they create. Just a few years ago, nobody wanted purple flowers … now they're the bee’s knees, fetching top dollar. Suddenly those purple strains stashed in the back of the seed vault are pretty important. Breeding techniques could easily take Cannabis in the direction of corn and soybeans (where one variety makes up 98% of the market), but if we choose a different path and embrace variety, we can use these powerful tools to create an economy that’s diverse – while protecting the individuality of the plant, as it speaks to each of us.

They say happiness held is a seed, but happiness shared is a flower. And it turns out, love is just like wildflowers – often found in the most unlikely places.

STORY by TOM BOWERS @CANNABOMBTOM/LEAF NATION, NATHANIEL PENNINGTON @THEHUMBOLDTSEEDCOMPANY, AND ERIK CHRISTIANSEN @ERIK.NUGSHOTS

SUTRA

“No other plant has ever been bred in thousands of garages and basements all over the world, each breeder having their own easel of local genetics, working with the canvas of their regional terroir and the demand of their local Cannabis enthusiasts.”

SNACK ATTACK

SPECIAL NACHOS

SERVES 8

3 cups tortilla chips

3 green onions (white and green parts), chopped

1 small tomato, seeded and chopped

1 cup cheddar cheese sauce

1. Preheat the oven to 325°F.

2. Put the chips on a baking sheet and bake until light golden brown, turning once for 8 to 10 minutes.

3. Transfer the chips to a serving platter.

4. Top with the green onions and tomato.

5. Pour the cheese sauce over chips. Serve immediately.

This sauce is unbeatable on nachos, but it also has a myriad of other uses – which is good, because the recipe makes more than you’ll need for the nachos. We like to pour it on top of potato hash and a sunny-side-up egg for a weekend breakfast, or add it to a baked potato loaded with fresh vegetables for a quick and easy late-night snack. If you don’t have white pepper, black pepper works just as well.

Here are three of my favorite Cannabis-infused recipes that can serve as a snack, party food, or a fun night in front of a screen. For sure, I’ve had the nachos for dinner more times than I can count. I tend to cook the mushrooms a little longer than the recipe suggests, as I like when the mushrooms get very tender … with the melted cheese and crumbs they just melt in your mouth. And the bruschetta is a comforting combo of creamy ricotta and peas.

CHEDDAR CHEESE SAUCE

2 tablespoons butter

8 teaspoons canna butter

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1⁄2 teaspoon kosher salt

1⁄2 teaspoon white pepper

1 cup (whole or 2 percent) milk

1 cup heavy cream

2 ounces cream cheese, slightly softened

1 ½ cups freshly grated sharp cheddar pinch of ground nutmeg

1. In a medium saucepan, melt the butter and canna butter over low heat. Whisk in the flour, salt and white pepper, and cook for several minutes – stirring to remove the raw flour taste.

2. Slowly pour in the milk and cream, stirring constantly; this ensures a smooth and creamy consistency. Once the milk and cream have been added, add the cream cheese in three or four pieces, whisking between each addition.

3. Continue to cook the sauce over medium-low heat until it is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon, 7 to 10 minutes.

4. Reduce the heat to low and add the cheddar a ½ cup at a time, whisking between each addition, 5 to 6 minutes.

5. Remove the pan from the heat, stir in the nutmeg, and serve immediately.

MUSHROOMS SEVILLE STYLE

8 SERVINGS, 2 MUSHROOMS/PERSON

16 extra-large white button mushrooms, cleaned

2 tablespoons olive oil, plus extra for coating mushrooms

Salt (kosher or sea) and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

3⁄4 pound chorizo sausage (removed from casing if in links)

1⁄2 cup diced green onion (white and green parts)

2 garlic cloves, minced

1⁄2 small jalapeño, seeded and finely chopped

2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons canna-olive oil

1 Roma tomato, seeded and finely chopped

2/3 cup panko bread crumbs

3 ounces Neufchâtel cheese, at room temperature

1/3 cup cotija cheese, at room temperature

1⁄4 cup chopped cilantro, for garnish

1. Remove the stems from the mushrooms and chop.

2. In a medium skillet, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the sausage, and cook, breaking it up with a spoon into small pieces until all the pink has disappeared, 4 to 5 minutes

3. Add the chopped mushroom stems, green onion, garlic and jalapeño, and cook until the stems are tender, 2 to 3 minutes more.

4. Remove the skillet from the heat and stir in the canna oil, mixing thoroughly for 2 minutes.

5. Stir in the tomato, bread crumbs, Neufchâtel, cotija, and a pinch of salt and pepper.

6. Fill the mushroom caps with 1 ½ tablespoons each of the sausage mixture.

7. Bake the mushrooms until they are tender and the filling is golden brown on top, about 20 minutes.

8. Sprinkle with the cilantro and serve.

BRUSCHETTA WITH RICOTTA & PEAS

SERVES 4, TWO PIECES

EACH

8 slices peasant bread, lightly toasted

4 teaspoons canna-olive oil

1 cup ricotta cheese

Ricotta is a totally underutilized cheese. It’s spreadable and creamy, with a subtle flavor, and its texture pairs nicely with the crunch of toasted bread and the sweetness of peas in this recipe.

3 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons olive oil, divided

2 tablespoons chopped onion or green onion

½ cup peas, fresh or frozen (thawed, if frozen) salt (kosher or sea) and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

1. Drizzle or brush the toasted bread with the canna olive oil, using ½ teaspoon per slice.

2. Spread 2 tablespoons of ricotta on each slice.

3. In a small skillet, heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil. Add onions and sauté until they wilt slightly, 3 to 4 minutes.

4. Add the peas and sauté until they soften and are no longer vibrant green, 3 to 4 minutes more.

5. Divide the pea mixture among the bread slices.

6. Drizzle each slice with 1 teaspoon of the remaining olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper.

MARCH HASHTAGS | #OutLikeALamb #BeKind #GoWomen #DontFearTheEdible #EatYourCannabis

Rico“Phone Homie” Valderrama

In 45 years, Rico accomplished more with his brand than many dream of accomplishing in a lifetime. Born Rico Valderrama, he was often known to his friends and fans as “Phone Homie.” He traveled the world meeting and sharing his love for the plant and this industry.

AT A 2012 CONCERT in Amsterdam, Ghostface Killah was performing with the Wu Tang Clan. Rico was in the crowd and was offered a chance to get on stage. He pushed forward, enamored with excitement. Once on stage, Ghostface asked him his name, to which he quickly replied “Phone Homie.” It was the birth of his brand and soon, became a lifestyle that will live on as his legacy.

The mainstream media’s anti-Cannabis spin in regard to Rico’s cause of death felt typical. But friends and family who were present at the hospital said that his condition was complicated due to side effects of Covid-19 and over a year with ECMO treatments – a form of life support used only in critical situations

involving the lungs and heart.

“I remember visiting him in the hospital and there were 21 IV drugs hooked together running into him at the same time and it was like that for months,” explained Brian Schottenham, a close friend and New York local who spoke with us about his late friend. “The meds and treatments are what truly burned out his liver, not the Cannabis use,” he added.

But before his illness, Valderrama had the presence to change the energy of entire halls

holding thousands of people and he brought that home with him. That’s because his biggest accomplishment was not his brand, but his children. “He was the greatest dad, and everyone around him could feel the love he gave his kids,” shared Franco, a close friend of Rico’s.

Rico had the power to push the positivity of any room and replaced any pessimism present with new opportunities and a comedic change of subject. At every turn, he was a booming voice of fun and comedy with a dab cough that echoed through canyons. He will be forever missed and remembered for his passion and presence in the community. @phonehomie

“He was the greatest dad, and everyone around him could feel the love he gave his kids,” shares Franco, a close friend of Rico’s.

Rico on the Slab Hour podcast.

Holding an award at the 2018 High Times Cannabis Cup.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE PHRASE “FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD?” It means that you’re searching your vocabulary to find the most applicable language that best represents what you’re trying to convey. Sometimes you don’t have the exact word, but by using this phrase, you make it known that your intention is to communicate your thought effectively. And it’s totally cool. Because it is understood by the person with whom you’re interacting that although you don’t currently have the best articulation, you are also not trying too hard to impress.

And that is what’s wrong with how the word “perfect” is wielded today. People overuse it believing they are demonstrating wisdom by applying it where a less fabulous word would normally go – thinking that it boosts their ability to elocute “perfect” words. Which makes sense. Because the current “me” society that displays their filtered flawlessness on the internet as a quantified representation of who they are, is hiding from the word “imperfect.”

That’s one you won’t hear them use.

It’s absurd. A trigger. How dare you!

The overplay of the word “perfect” is an encapsulation of this artificially intelligent future we are doing “The Robot” into. Perception is largely reality, and the word accentuates the image people pretend to possess. There’s this idea that if you say something “perfect,” then “perfection” will materialize – which realistically doesn’t happen. Just because you use the word to describe something as “perfect,” doesn’t make it “perfect.”

So, when the woman who answers the phone in customer service gleefully uses the word more than twice for the figurative cherry on the sundae, she is in essence informing herself that not only did she resolve the issue, but it couldn’t have been handled any more “perfectly.”

But no, I’m sorry … the last four digits of my Social Security number are not perfect. They are just OK. You know what’s perfect? Cannabis. And Agnes, my pet gerbil.

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