#89 | NOV. 2021
THE ENLIGHTENED VOICE
THE HARVEST ISSUE EXPLORING THE PEAK OF CANNABIS SEASON ACROSS OREGON F RE E / L E A F M AGA Z I N E S . COM
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THE HARVEST ISSUE
stoner owner
B.A. BOTANICALS
Trichome-covered Runtz shows off at the Estacada-based Cannabis farm.
Tyler Rolen
BUDTENDER OF THE MONTH JD PRITCHETT, KANOPY 7
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BRUCE WOLF
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CANNABIS RECIPES FALL INTO FLAVOR
84 The Sinsemilla Story
Way back before there was a Leaf Nation and even before there was a High Times magazine, the groundbreaking Cannabis publication Sinsemilla Tips provided aspiring Cannabis heads and growers with all the tips, tricks and news they needed to survive and thrive in the underground scene. ///////////// story by bobby black
NOV. 2021
feature
COURTESY OF WORLD OF CANNABIS MUSEUM
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
SHOP REVIEW REDWOOD CANNABIS
TONY SIMONELLI
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TONY SIMONELLI
Rolen Stone Farms
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EDITOR’S NOTE N AT I O N A L N E W S SHOP REVIEW STONER OWNER W O O K H A S H R E T R E AT PAT I E N T P R O F I L E BUDTENDER Q&A H I G H LY L I K E LY STRAIN OF THE MONTH DECIBEL FARMS 54 GREEN ACRES BONSAI FARMS B . A . B O TA N I C A L S C O N C E N T R AT E O T M EDIBLE OTM OFF THE SHELF FOOD & CANNABIS CANNABIS RECIPES CANNTHROPOLOGY STONEY BALONEY
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TONY SIMONELLI
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DIANA THOMPSON
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#89
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NOVEMBER 2021
issue
THE HARVEST ISSUE
FEATURE
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
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BONSAI FARMS
56 NOV. 2021
Oregon Leaf takes a trip to visit this stunning Cannabis farm in Creswell to learn more about their signature strains, like beautiful, chunky Papaya.
STORY by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | PHOTO by AMANDA DAY @TERPODACTYL_MEDIA
E S TA B L I S H E D 2 0 1 0
T H E E N L I G H T E N E D VO I C E
N O RT H W E S T L E A F / O R EG O N L E A F / A L AS KA L E A F / M A RY L A N D L E A F / CA L I F O R N I A L E A F /
A B O U T T H E C OV E R Join us as we walk you through the wondrous fields of Estacada, Creswell, and Southern Oregon and highlight the incredible greenhouse, light deprivation, and full term sun grown cultivations. On this year’s cover, we highlighted Decibel Farms’ incredible operation located in the rolling hills of Grants Pass. If you want to see exclusive photos and stories from beautiful Cannabis farms in all of the other states that the Leaf covers, we encourage you to spend a sesh with our free digital archive at Issuu.com/nwleaf & LeafMagazines.com. Our sincere thanks as always to all the wonderful farms and farmers who welcomed us in this month!
PHOTO by TONY SIMONELLI @_SIRAYNOT_
PUBLISHER
CONTRIBUTORS
WES ABNEY | FOUNDER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
BOBBY BLACK, FEATURES
WES@LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
JOSHUA BOULET, ILLUSTRATION
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
TOM BOWERS, FEATURES
DANIEL BERMAN | VISUALS & DESIGN
AMANDA DAY, PHOTOS + FEATURES
DANIEL@BERMANPHOTOS.COM
EARLY, PRODUCTION
STATE DIRECTOR
STEVE ELLIOTT, NATIONAL NEWS
MAX EARLY | AD SALES
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MAX@LEAFMAGAZINES.COM 303-746-9067
MAKANI NELSON, REVIEWS
SALES DIRECTOR
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MAKANI NELSON | AD SALES
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DIANA THOMPSON, PHOTOS TONY SIMONELLI, PHOTOS PACER STACKTRAIN, FEATURES JAMIE VICTOR, ILLUSTRATION WIND HOME PHOTOGRAPHY FLETCHER WOLD, PHOTOS BRUCE & LAURIE WOLF, RECIPES
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ABNEY
Editor’s Note Thanks for picking up The Harvest Issue of the Leaf! WE’VE BEEN publishing our harvest issues for many years now and it continues to be one of my favorites. There is something truly special about outdoor Cannabis – and the people who put their livelihoods or medicinal needs on the line to grow a plant for six or more months – with no guarantee of success. Welcome to farming! On top of the sacrifices and risks they face, they also face stigma about the quality of the product they have worked so hard on. But let me tell you this:
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Cannabis is a plant. And the natural expression of terpenes and flavors that the plant produces when exposed to sunlight can never be replicated in an indoor environment. I encourage all of our readers to flip through our scenic harvest special, read the stories of true farm life and enjoy this magazine that we worked so hard on. But I also challenge you to purchase sungrown Cannabis and experience the plant in a natural form. Believe me when I say that while it may look different than indoor flower, it’s no less beautiful – and much more tasty than the mid-grade indoor Cannabis flooding the market.
“MY VOTE GOES TO ORGANIC FRUITS AND VEGGIES FOR OUR FAMILIES, AND AN AGRICULTURAL SYSTEM THAT GIVES BACK TO THE EARTH.”
On a sustainability note, our planet, societies and industries are all at a turning point, with our futures decided by us as enlightened consumers. Do we want synthetic, harmful products for our bodies? Do we want hothouse-grown and pesticide-sprayed vegetables or weed? My vote goes to organic fruits and veggies for our families, and an agricultural system that gives back to the Earth. So, what impact do we want our favorite plant to have on our planet?
Society votes and decides its future with dollars, and I hope that everyone reading this gives outdoor Cannabis a try. It supports both the farmer and the environment. Not to mention, both your head and your heart will thank you for it! As always, thank you for reading – and please enjoy our Harvest Issue while sampling the bounty of this year’s crop!
-Wes Abney NOV. 2021
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We create independent, exclusive Cannabis journalism. Please email us to discuss advertising in an upcoming edition of Oregon Leaf. We do not sell stories or coverage. We can offer design services and guidance on promoting your company’s medicinal, rec, commercial or industrial Cannabis business within our magazine and on our website, LeafMagazines.com. For more information on advertising with Oregon Leaf, email max@leafmagazines.com or makani@leafmagazines.com.
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NOV. 2021
ARKANSANS ARE EMBRACING MMJ
“S
ince that first dispensary opened in 2019 in May, Arkansans have spent about $430 million to purchase almost 64,000 pounds of medical marijuana,” said Scott Hardin, with the Arkansas Medical Marijuana Commission. “Which I think it’s safe to say, that exceeds our expectation, because you never know how many people will participate.” Hardin said the medical Cannabis industry has thrived during the pandemic. Medical marijuana is taxed 10.5% in Arkansas. There’s a 6.5% sales tax on most retail items in the state. The 4% privilege tax goes to the University of Arkansas for Medical Science, to establish a national cancer institute. “If you walk into a dispensary and spend $100, you’ll spend $10.50 additionally in state taxes,” Hardin said. “Those two taxes – we’ve collected just under $50,000,000, $49.6 million to be specific.”
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new licenses were issued in October by the New Jersey Medical Marijuana Commission.
770
pounds of “high-grade” marijuana were found in a storage locker in Florida, according to the BCSO.
The groundbreaking ceremony Oct. 6
FEDERAL CANNABIS GROW OPENS IN NEW MEXICO
C
annabis has been in a cultural process of “mainstreaming” for awhile now, in New Mexico and nationwide. But the federal government has remained a stubborn roadblock to progress. However, federal officials are finally allowing the plant to be researched. The Bright Green Corporation has obtained a federal permit for a sanctioned marijuana grow in Grants, New Mexico, reports KOB 4. “We are one of three, in the United States of America, that are federally legal to handle Schedule I drugs,” said Terry Rafih, chairman of Bright Green Corporation. “We chose Grants, New Mexico because of the climate.” “If you look at the number of people that are dependent on opioids for many different pains and ailments that we deal with, the product that we are going “WE ARE ONE to be proOF THREE, IN ducing out of THE UNITED here and the patents that we STATES OF AMERICA, THAT have – hopeARE FEDERALLY fully – we’re LEGAL TO hoping it will HANDLE eliminate, SCHEDULE I eventually, DRUGS,” SAID opioids. That TERRY RAFIH, is our goal,” CHAIRMAN OF Rafih said. BRIGHT GREEN The strucCORPORATION. ture of a greenhouse has already been erected at the New Mexico facility. The entire facility will soon be a 115-acre research and manufacturing Cannabis plant. With more than 100 employees, company officials say it’s worth more than $300 million in investments.
64k
marijuana distribution charges were sealed by Virginia in October along with 330,000 simple possession charges.
CRIST PROMISES LEGAL MARIJUANA IF ELECTED FL. GOV.
F
lorida gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist announced in October that he would legalize marijuana if elected governor next year, reports the Tampa Bay Times. Crist added he would also expunge misdemeanor or third-degree “IF I’M felony records ELECTED related to GOVERNOR Cannabis. I WILL “Let me LEGALIZE be clear, if MARIJUANA I’m elected IN THE governor I will SUNSHINE legalize marSTATE.” ijuana in the Sunshine State,” Crist said in a video posted on his Twitter. “This is the first part of the Crist contract with Florida,” the candidate said, reports The Hill. “For too long we have focused on incarceration, when we should be focusing on rehabilitation,” he said. “We know that people across racial and income levels use marijuana at the same rate. And yet, for decades, it’s been poor, Black, and/or Hispanic folks targeted for prison on marijuana charges,” Crist said in December 2020. “That tells me that marijuana has been legal now for a while, if you had the right skin tone or the right paycheck.”
$1b $2.1b
in legal marijuana sales were recorded in Nevada for the 2021 fiscal year.
deal makes Florida’s Trulieve the nation’s largest retailer of medical Cannabis, according to an October news release.
By STEVE ELLIOTT, AUTHOR OF THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK OF MARIJUANA
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LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
suspects broke into a Norman, Oklahoma medical Cannabis dispensary in October and stole thousands of dollars worth of products.
T
he NBA has agreed to not randomly test players for marijuana this season. “We have agreed with the NBPA to extend the suspension of random testing for marijuana for the 2021-22 season and focus our random testing program on performance-enhancing products and drugs of abuse,” NBA spokesman Mike Bass said in October. Marijuana remains prohibited in the league’s collective bargaining agreement. But negotiations between the league and players’ association loosened restrictions, reports ESPN. “Usage was already fairly common among players,” writes Dan Feldman at NBC Sports. “As momentum moves one direction both nationally and within the league, the NBA seems unlikely to take what’d now become the drastic step of reimplementing random testing.”
NATIONAL NEWS
eattle in October became the largest U.S. city to allow adult cultivation and consumption of mushrooms and other psychedelics, as the Seattle City Council unanimously passed a resolution to decriminalize non-commercial use around natural psychedelic substances. The Emerald City joins a handful of other enlightened cities in decriminalizing psilocybin and similar substances POLICE WILL since Denver MAKE IT AMONG kicked off a THEIR LOWEST wave of such PRIORITIES TO changes ARREST OR three years PROSECUTE ago. ANYONE IN Police ACTIVITIES will make it RELATED TO among their “ENTHEOGENS,” lowest priorities to arrest or prosecute anyone in activities related to “entheogens,” reports Bloomberg. That category includes natural substances like psilocybin and ayahuasca, often used for spiritual or religious purposes. Psilocybin, a mind-altering substance found in magic mushrooms, is a Schedule I drug, the most-restrictive category. Seattle becomes at least the ninth U.S. city to take such landmark action in recent years. It joins Denver, Washington D.C. and Ann Arbor, Michigan, among other cities. In 2020, Oregon became the first state to legalize psilocybin for therapeutic use.
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politics
NBA AGREES TO END RANDOM DRUG TESTING
SEATTLE BECOMES LARGEST CITY TO DECRIMINALIZE PSYCHEDELICS
S
SOUTHWEST
NORMALIZATION
northwest
c i t o x c i E t o e x h t E d n e i F Find th
Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. For use only by adults twenty-one years of age and older. Keep out of reach of children.
INQUIRE AT YOUR LOCAL DISPENSARY TODAY Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. For use only by adults twenty-one years of age and older. Keep out of reach of children.
SHOP REVIEW
REDWOOD CANNABIS ENVIRONMENT & VIBE You know it’s going to be a good time when you roll up and they have the Grateful Dead bumping. As there is a massive lot for this shop, parking is a breeze. This cozy and comfortable dispensary has its flower and hash selection showcased in the front window, sparkling and glistening. Unlike other shops that pre-package their flower, Redwood Cannabis takes pride in serving buds deli-style. Overall, the layout and ambiance of this business are very aesthetically pleasing.
HISTORY & VALUES
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With roots in the medicinal game, owners Marc, Lauren and Ryan had always dreamed of operating their very own dispensary. Together, they have put their minds to creating one of the most unique and special shops we have ever visited. With intentions to build deep relationships with farms, continuing to educate their customers about different terpene profiles and giving back to the community, it’s no wonder why everyone in Southern Oregon loves Redwood Cannabis so much. Above all, they supply overflowing good vibes to everyone that walks in their doors. Shout out to Lauren, who is a fundamental part of their operation!
PRODUCT SELECTION Where do we even get started? Redwood Cannabis offers outdoor flowers starting at $6/g and ranging to $18/g for the super exclusive genetics. Our minds exploded when we saw Evan Creeks’ Child Cherries, Raw Zen’s False Teeth, Banana Puddingtain by Ananda Farms, and Crepes by PDX Organics. Their extract and concentrate selection exceeded all expectations, as they had more or less every high end brand in the industry on the shelf. With 10+ flavors of Echo and 60+ strains of solventless from brands like Bo’s Nose Knows and Archive, this shop is a dabber’s heaven. With an equally large selection of edibles and medicinally beneficial products, everyone will leave happy. Make sure to scoop a Dab Rite as well, that way you’ll never dab wrong again.
BUDTENDERS & SPECIALS
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
When it comes to their budtenders, this was most certainly an area where they shined. Each employee we spoke with presented their passion and dedication to our industry. We could genuinely feel all of the love their staff has for the plant and our community. The fact that they had a preference between the #99 and #112 pheno of Archive’s Moonbow spoke volumes. Big ups to their team for not only talking about it, but being about it as well! Be sure to call the shop to check in about their daily specials.
NOV. 2021
GRANTS PASS
“WITH INTENTIONS TO BUILD DEEP RELATIONSHIPS WITH FARMS, CONTINUING TO EDUCATE THEIR CUSTOMERS ABOUT DIFFERENT TERPENE PROFILES AND GIVING BACK TO THE COMMUNITY, IT’S NO WONDER WHY EVERYONE IN SOUTHERN OREGON LOVES REDWOOD CANNABIS SO MUCH.”
Archive Moonbow #112 Talk about one of the best strains to grace our presences. Archive’s Moonbow #112 is an exemplary cross of Zkittlez and Dosidos, leaning more towards the Dosidos lineage. No matter how you decide to smoke this delectable flower, the flavor comes through and coats your mouth with a creamy marshmallow terpene profile. As the effects are rather calming and relaxing, this strain makes the perfect smoke at any time of the day or night. Much love to Archive for constantly going outside of their comfort zones to further our industry. 30.1% THC | @archive_oregon_
Nelson and Company Organic Grape Pie Is there anything better in this world than single-source hash? If so, please let us know. Nelson and Co. have yet again slam-dunked the hash game with their recent Grape Pie release. Crossing Cherry Pie and Grape Stomper, this cultivar is a perfect example of both of its parent strains. After taking a few dabs, I experienced a burst of candy-forward flavors, including notes of grape Big League Chew. We can’t wait to see what Nelson and Co. come out with next! 74.63% THC, 9.74% Terpenes @nelsonandcompany
Happy Cabbage Banana Breath
REDWOOD CANNABIS
825 NE F ST, GRANTS PASS, OR OPEN 10AM-7PM DAILY REDWOODCANNABIS.COM @REDWOODCANNABIS_ (541) 916-8140
When it comes to Banana strains, they will always have a special place in my heart – and Happy Cabbage Farms and Gnome Grown Organics simply knocked this one out of the park. Crossing Banana OG and Mendo Breath, there is a perfect balance of fruit and funk with each dab. As the Banana OG characteristics are very dominant, the high is most ideal for those who are looking for a way to chill themselves out. Being someone with anxiety, this cultivar soothes all unsettled energies, and can help you find an overall balance. Keep an eye out for Gnome Grown’s killer flower as well! 73% THC @happycabbagefarms | @gnomegrownorganics
REVIEW & PRODUCT PHOTOS by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | SHOP PHOTOS by TONY SIMONELLI @_SIRAYNOT_
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PACIFIC GROVE
stoner owner LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
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NOV. 2021
TYLER ROLEN Rolen Stone Farms
“The Green Crack and Citrus Smuggler are both killers.”
TYLER ROLEN is a true OG in the game, as he has been tirelessly working his butt off to get himself to where he is today. With an immense amount of passion and dedication, Tyler’s brand – Rolen Stone Farms – offers Oregon some of the most gamechanging genetics, flower, extracts and concentrates we have seen to date. Learn more about Tyler and how he got started in the game in this month’s Stoner Owner column. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN GROWING FOR? WHAT GOT YOU STARTED? I guess it’s almost been a decade now. Before this, about 7 1/2 years ago, I was a chef for many years – I started having kids and the chef life wasn’t doing the trick. I never got to see my family at all, and somehow, I got involved with this and fell in love with it. It kind of goes hand-in-hand, so that’s yeah … that’s kind of how that all played out. WHAT STRAINS HAVE YOU HAD IN YOUR LINEUP FOR A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF TIME? Tropsanto is a classic for us. The Green Crack and Citrus Smuggler are both killers, and I think the Orange Push Pop has probably been around as long as those as well. I’ll see results soon from the Watermelon Mimosa, which we just crossed with a Citrus Smuggler – but I’ve been waiting to get that one dialed ‘til I put it into production. I’ve been working with that one for a couple of years now. It’s been really fun dialing it in and finding new terpene profiles. WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT YOUR CURRENT GENETICS UNDER DEVELOPMENT? Currently, we are most stoked about the Citrus Smuggler crossed with Watermelon Mimosa. Additionally, we have Orange Push Pop, Birds of Fire, Tropsanto, Green Crack, Wedding Crasher and the Wilson! Zero, all hit with that same Citrus Smuggler. The results will surely be epic. ROLENSTONE.COM @ROLENSTONEFARMS
A Stoner Owner is a Cannabis business owner who has a relationship with the plant. We want to buy and smoke Cannabis from companies that care about their products, employees and the plant. You wouldn’t buy food from a restaurant where the cooks don’t eat in the kitchen, so why buy corporate weed grown by a company only concerned with profits? Stoner Owner approval means a company cares, and we love weed grown with care. Let’s retake our culture and reshape a stigma by honoring those who grow, process and sell the best Cannabis possible.
INTERVIEW by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by TONY SIMONELLI @_SIRAYNOT_
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REHASHED
Wook Hash Retreat Over the years, I have attended and experienced countless glass events. And although many have been enjoyable, none have come close to providing the level of energy and inclusivity that Alder Brooke Glass Arts' Wook Hash Retreat produced.
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LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
DARBY HOLM
Connect with the featured artists @alderbrookeglassarts @darbyholmglass @shurlokholm @mikelunaglass
NOV. 2021
SESHIN’
Two years ago, Isaiah Alder and I were dabbing away while having a conversation about a concept he had for a glass event that included local hash companies. My man eventually spoke this event into existence, but it didn’t come easy. With the help of his mother Tara, girlfriend Kalie, brother Pablo, and lifelong friends Jericho, Brock and Chad, they all put their heads together and made this event a reality. While smoking with Darby Holm, Isaiah presented his concept of an experience that incorporates hash and glass together. We all know how concentrates are a big part of these events – and as Darby is a concentrate enthusiast himself, he also wanted to help find a way to tie these synergistic scenes together. When envisioning the flyer, Isaiah knew people would be super excited about seeing glass artists and hash makers together at one show. And yes, he was right: I can personally say I witnessed the VIPs open their concentrate boxes like kids on Christmas morning. With the purchase of a VIP ticket to this private event, each person received a ton of swag as well as 10 grams of unique solventless products from Green Smoothie Gardens, Tree City Solventless, Xen Dog, Love Laced Gardens, Solventless Soup Kitchen, Brahma Rosin, PDX Pressin, Shiner’s Run Farm, Melted States and Sho Juice. Out of all the flavors I got to try, Brahma’s Polynesian Thin Mints was the one that stole the show. As previously mentioned, there was a certain level of respect and love for one another at this event that I have not experienced anywhere else. People of all walks of life were so open to sharing whatever they had – whether it be good conversation, hash or their prized pieces of glass. It was so refreshing to experience everyone connecting, rather than cliquing up as I have experienced elsewhere. Eugene is indeed a very loving scene, comprised of people with very open hearts and minds. My jaw just about hit the floor when I encountered all of the gorgeous work from Mike Luna, Shurlok Holm and Darby Holm. No matter what you’re into, there was a piece of glass there to tickle your fancy. My picks from the show were Luna’s Dragon head rig with custom color pulls + opal coin eyes, a gnarly recycler created by Shurlok, and a rig Darby made that features a scorpion on the back with a cactus in the middle of the piece. In addition to all of the incredible works of glass art, there were offerings from brands like KnotWorking, Burnt Leather Co, Crystallize Collective, Earth Vibrations, Bekah Zeimetzart, Alder Brooke, The Bindle Conspiracy and Flux Crystal Boutique. For those sweet tooths out there, Cannadeiros and Hashtronaut Ice Cream were also in the building. “The theme for the weekend is ‘it takes a village.’ People pitched in from all over the country. So many people came together to make this a possibility,” said Isaiah. Keep an eye out for their next event in February – the Shred Show at Mt. Bachelor.
MIKE LUNA
ISAIAH AND KALIE
THE GALLERY
People of all walks of life were so open to sharing whatever they had – whether it be good conversation, hash or their prized pieces of glass.
CRYSTALS
SHURLOK HOLM
STORY by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by WIND HOME PHOTOGRAPHY @WINDHOME
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THE HARVEST ISSUE patient profile
We hear you are a big sneaker collector! What are some of your favorite shoes? My favorites are the
tan Off-White x Nike Jordan 5s. My nurse at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital is married to a designer at Jordan. After I completed a marathon by walking around the hospital, the good people at Jordan found the perfect pair of shoes for me.
Who are some of the most meaningful people in your life? My mom, dad and brother. Because they are my family and do everything for me, and we do everything together. My mom spent 130 days in the hospital room with me and 60-plus days in a hotel from Thanksgiving until July 18. We grew very close together, and we loved hanging out.
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If you could give one piece of advice to other young men and women battling an illness, what would it be?
Keep a positive attitude and always look on the bright side. If you are feeling positive, you will feel less sick.
Favorite meal? Steak tri-tip
and artichokes are my all-time favorite!
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
parker
thomas Parker Thomas was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia the day before Thanksgiving 2020 – but he did not let that define him, as he is a strong, healthy and resilient young man, who has so much to offer the world. We cannot wait to see how he changes our planet as he continues to grow up.
NOV. 2021
“If you are feeling positive, you will feel less sick.” SHOW SUPPORT FOR PARKER: TINYURL.COM/PARKERLEAF
STORY by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | PHOTO by TONY SIMONELLI @_SIRAYNOT_
Find your flower. PHRESHCANNABIS.COM
Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. For use only by adults twenty-one and older. Keep out of reach of children.
BUDTENDEr of the month
W H O ’ S Y O U R FAV O R I T E B U D T E N D E R ? T E L L U S W H Y ! E M A I L N O M I N A T I O N S T O M A X @ L E A F M A G A Z I N E S . C O M
KDPRITCHETT
HOW DID YOU FIRST GET YOUR START IN THE INDUSTRY? I grew up with my dad being Head Nurse
in the Valley, I remember going to work with him as a kid. That is what ignited my passion to help people. Before I was in the industry, I worked in an assisted care facility for seven years as the lead med tech and caregiver … seeing all the pills being prescribed and watching all the side effects that followed. It made me sad that no one ever talked to them about medicating with Cannabis, and I knew that one day that’s what I would like to help with. Once it became recreational, I was able to have those conversations with them. I eventually became the activities director and even got to drive my residents to dispensaries! When I was 18, I was in a car accident – which led to me getting my medical card, because I wanted to grow my own medicine. My mom has quite a green thumb and showed me how to shower my plants with love, encourage them to grow, and tend to them with care. Cannabis has truly shaped who I am – I wouldn’t be myself without it.
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WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT COMING TO WORK DAILY? There are so many reasons why I love
coming to work every day. One being, I literally get to work with weed. I love the shop I work in and the people I work with, we really are like a family. If I would’ve told my younger self what I would do for a living now, she would’ve laughed at me and told me to give her a heads up. … Working with weed was what I knew I always wanted to do, but “WORKING WITH I didn’t know how much that really WEED WAS was going to become a reality. I’m WHAT I KNEW I blessed to work with so many likeALWAYS WANTED minded people who share the same TO DO, BUT I passion about this as I do. It’s such a DIDN’T KNOW cool thing to watch so many people working together for the greater HOW MUCH good. We really feel like we get to THAT REALLY make a difference in people’s lives. WAS GOING TO BECOME A WHY DO YOU FIND THAT BEING REALITY.” PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT YOU DO
Oregon Leaf Budtender of the Month KANOPY 7
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NOV. 2021
FULFILLING A LIFELONG DREAM OF “WORKING WITH WEED,” KD PRITCHETT IS EQUAL PARTS CARE-GIVER AND CANNABIS-LOVER IN HER WORK BUDTENDING AT KANOPY 7 IN MEDFORD. FOLLOW HER ON IG @HALFBAKEDBARBIE
HELPS FIND THE RIGHT PRODUCT FOR EACH CUSTOMER? This is what I love to do, and
want to do for the rest of my life. The question I ask my customers the most is: Do you want to feel free? It opens the conversation to more than the generic template of indica/sativa, percentages, etc. It is much more complex than that if you were truly trying to medicate, and that’s why I’m trying to promote it as a wellness product. I invite people to be more mindful when they’re consuming. When you realize how much power this plant has, the more I can help. When I smoke, I try to pick up on every feeling and effect that is involved. Being able to provide the customer with specific details and information gives them confidence that I stand behind what I’m saying.
STORY by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | PHOTO by TONY SIMONELLI @_SIRAYNOT_
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highly likely
BILLIONAIRE MEDIA MAGNATE
Highly Likely highlights Cannabis pioneers who have paved the way to greater herbal acceptance.
MICHAEL BLOOMBERG Michael Bloomberg may seem like an unlikely person for this column. For one, he’s a politician – and politicians’ views on Cannabis are notoriously boring and ingenuine. Bloomberg’s are not.
s
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“In one decade, he seems to be a staunch advocate of decriminalization and legalization, in another he’s arguing that there’s no such thing as medical Cannabis.” NOV. 2021
econdly, he’s one of the most successful businessmen in America, and businessmen (ahem, Elon Musk on Joe Rogan in 2018) generally do not talk about Cannabis, because the business world is slow to embrace a plant that, generally, helps people to relax and enjoy their lives (go figure). Bloomberg is somehow one of the rare billionaire businessmen/ politicians who isn’t outright reviled by a wide swath of the population. Bloomberg is mostly known as the former mayor of New York City, and for his presidential campaign. As the 108th mayor of New York, he favored policies on gun control, public health initiatives and environmental protections. But, like any politician, he had his issues. For example, he expanded the NYPD ‘stop and frisk’ program, which was widely considered racist and resulted in many drug arrests. He reversed his stance on the subject during his 2020 presidential campaign. Like many politicians (and people for that matter), it helps to be able to change your mind with the times. When it comes to Cannabis, a historical perspective of Bloomberg’s views is somewhat difficult to ascertain. In one decade, he seems to be a staunch advocate of decriminalization and legalization, in another he’s arguing that there’s no such thing as medical Cannabis. But there is one instance where Bloomberg’s views on Cannabis seemed to be clarified, at least in a personal sense. In the early 2000s in an interview in New York Magazine, Bloomberg was asked whether he had tried Cannabis before – to which he replied, “You bet I did. And I enjoyed it.” Scandal ensued.
As Bloomberg mounted his mayoral campaign the next year, NORML seized on the amazing opportunity to utilize Bloomberg’s common-sense remarks to its own benefit – complete with an outdoor, print and radio ad campaign that featured a poster of his face and the quote prominently featured around New York. The press took notice, and he was forced to rescind the remarks due to public pressure. But even in this way, Bloomberg’s walking back didn’t involve lying (rare for a politician). “What I said back then was the truth,” he told a group of reporters at City Hall in 2002. “In terms of, I had, certainly when I was younger, as I suppose most people in my generation, experimented. I never lie, so if somebody asked me a question, I told them. Do I, in retrospect, wish I didn’t say it that day so they couldn’t quote it? Of course.” This sort of adult, common-sense perspective is rare in politicians and public figures these days – but this doesn’t mean that Bloomberg’s a perfect politician, or even a perfect human. None of us are. And that’s why looking at all the different perspectives of people (even those you don’t agree with) is so important. In our ultraconnected, hyper-partisan world, we’re all going to be wrong in someone’s eyes, some of the time. But we’ll also be right sometimes, too. At the end of the day, Bloomberg’s admission of using Cannabis and enjoying it shouldn’t have been an issue – and his response to a simple question was simply the truth. And with the truth being rarer and rarer to see and hear these days – those ads, now almost 20 years old, look really cool!
STORY by PACER STACKTRAIN for LEAF NATION
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STRAIN OF THE MONTH LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
44
Where the greenhouse leans toward complex tropical fruit flavor, the indoor brings the gas.
CULTIVATED by BENSON ARBOR GREENHOUSE (LEFT) & INDOOR GROWN (RIGHT)
WHERE’S MY BIKE?
nov. 2021
REVIEW by RYAN HERRON @THELOUD100 | PHOTO by DANIEL BERMAN @BERMANPHOTOS | @BENSONARBOR
N
oah Levine, the owner of Benson Arbor, is a renowned sungrown cultivator who is well known for producing outdoor flower with big diesel-forward profiles. But recently, Benson has expanded their family-owned Southern Oregon farm to include indoor and greenhouse offerings – keeping those gas-heavy profiles on the shelves throughout the year and giving their customers more options at the dispensary. While we wait for this year’s outdoor harvest to cure, it seemed fitting to dig into one of their standard cultivars, grown in the greenhouse and indoor gardens. Where’s My Bike was bred by Dutch company Karma Genetics. Though the name is a cheeky mash-up of its parents, Amnesia and Biker Kush, the effect of this flower has always given me a spaced-out feeling – making me want to walk through the park or wander off the beaten path. That familiar, stoney but active effect will more likely send you chasing a frisbee over sinking into the couch, but temporarily misplacing your bike or your lighter is still a distinct possibility. With a tight bud structure and large chunky buds, the greenhouse catches my attention first. Breaking into the flower releases a terpinolene spiked bubblegum aroma, backed with lime candy and a sharp and sweet acetone scent. Flavors of tropical fruit and sour herbs come through on a dry hit, and all of that is accentuated when the joint is lit. The indoor feels like if the greenhouse flower cleaned up for a date night, or better yet – a court date. There’s a lighter shade of green throughout with brighter, more reflective trichomes than the greenhouse. The aroma here is loud lime candy, with that same top note of terpinolene and a less sweet, more gas-forward base note. While there are fewer of those tropical fruit flavors in this version, the bouquet is more clean and direct. Both joints burn evenly with a fluffy light ash. Where the greenhouse leans toward complex tropical fruit flavor, the indoor brings the gas. In terms of structure, the greenhouse is more compact and dense, while the indoor plants feature a bit more stretch and a higher concentration of trichome coverage. This is all connoisseur-grade Cannabis, so it really comes down to whichever you prefer. The indoor is on the shelf for those who love killer bag appeal and pronounced flavors, and the greenhouse is available for the more complex flavors and sun-kissed cannabinoid profile. I highly suggest a face-off between the two so you can see which end of the spectrum you prefer.
THIS PRODUCT HAS INTOXICATING EFFECTS AND MAY BE HABIT FORMING. MARIJUANA CAN IMPAIR CONCENTRATION, COORDINATION, AND JUDGMENT. DO NOT OPERATE A VEHICLE OR MACHINERY UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THIS DRUG. THERE MAY BE HEALTH RISKS ASSOCIATED WITH CONSUMPTION OF THIS PRODUCT. FOR USE ONLY BY ADULTS TWENTY-ONE YEARS OF AGE AND OLDER. KEEP OUT OF THE REACH OF CHILDREN.
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THE HARVEST ISSUE
decibel farms
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NOV. 2021
w
hen Decibel Farms Founder Shawn Bishop says, “The genetics are really 99% of it,” – he’s
really just being humble. Of course, that’s easy to say when you’re standing against a row of exciting new cultivars ready for harvest … all throwing off vibrant colors and amazing aromas.
APPLEGATE VALLEY
D E C I B E L F A R M S is both a well organized and wild jungle of Cannabis. The greenhouses are flanked with outdoor plants, roots sunk directly into the soil of this Southern Oregon farm. Every turn hits us in the face with a wall of bold scents, brightly colored Cannabis, or some cultivar featuring a nonsensical structure and insane terpene profile. Shawn has built a farm that is in service of the dank, and you can tell he’s got a thirst for new and exciting expressions of our favorite flower. Before growing Cannabis full time, Shawn owned an organic gardening store which led him to apply for and win a USDA grant to study compost and compost tea analysis. Shortly after, when a Cannabis company scooped him up to run their farm, he thought he would be living the dream. Then reality set in. “I was growing with salts and using electricity, which was the exact opposite of what I had been teaching. One day I just woke up and said, ‘I’m out, I’m going to start a company in Southern Oregon.’” He had a friend drive by a property situated on the Applegate River and they relayed the message that the place needed a lot of fixing up, but could work. Sight unseen, Shawn put an offer on the place and the rest is history. CONTINUES NEXT PAGE >>
STORY by RYAN HERRON @THELOUD100 for OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by TONY SIMONELLI @_SIRAYNOT_
THE HARVEST ISSUE
decibel farms Continued from previous page
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
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NOV. 2021
“ T H E B A S I S O F M Y F A R M is all Constantly sifting for that next standout. rooted in soil biology and protecting the “I’m not even interested unless the ecosystem and environment – the terroir plant is LOUD. If it has this intense smell, here is important.” We’re here on a sunny then I’ll tear into it to see if it has that fall day and the plants are all reaching depth of flavor,” Shawn adds. “I refuse to toward the sun with heavy branches – this drop anything that doesn’t punch you in is their home, and it is clear that they love the face the second you open the jar.” He it here. Behind the scenes of this idyllic betrays the humble attitude and jokingly landscape is yet another reason for the mentions that, OK, now he might be thriving nature of Decibel’s operation: bragging. “If it ain’t those WCTs, I’m not Shawn’s rigorous grading of each plant growing it.” throughout its lifecycle – complete with Bishop leads us through another aisle a detailed spreadof mouth-watering fla“I’m not even interested vors. On deck, they’ve sheet which carefully tracks the nose and unless the plant is LOUD … got Dead Hot Strawresin qualities of each I refuse to drop anything berries, Dessert Runtz, plant. Blow, Pancakes, that doesn’t punch you in Grape “World Changing and 100 other cultivars the face the second you that have us excited Terps” is Shawn’s open the jar.” terminology for for a post-harvest hash what makes a plant session. Founder Shawn Bishop worthy of a space in Those familiar with his garden. Next to that, the plant needs Decibel will want to keep an eye out for to produce great hash. With a rigorous the new flavors mixed in with the old 300-plant pheno hunt underway, Shawn favorites. For those just getting your first has given himself a long runway to find taste, know that the farmer himself is winners for next season. making sure those over-the-top profiles He’ll run this same 300-plant hunt in end up on dispensary shelves. the spring and summer to find that list of a dozen keepers, and see which environment they thrive best in. Then he’ll start DECIBELFARMS.COM the whole thing over again. @DECIBELFARMS
STORY by RYAN HERRON @THELOUD100 for OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by TONY SIMONELLI @_SIRAYNOT_
THE HARVEST ISSUE
54 green acres
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
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CAVE JUNCTION NOV. 2021
O
ur arrival at 54 Green Acres was nothing short of familial feeling, complete with a warm welcome that assured us we were right at home.
Their employees were busy at work in the process of harvesting fresh frozen material that would soon be turned into many forms of delicious extracts and concentrates. For this part of the harvest, they remove the fan leaves from the plant, then buck the colas into bags. T H E I R C R E W was packing strains like Hindu Kush, Sundae Driver, Green Dragon and Huckleberry Diesel into 3.5 to 4 pound, vacuum-sealed bags that went directly into their space-age freezer unit, currently reading -10 degrees and with a storage capacity of up to 3,000 pounds of fresh frozen material. When the work is done, you can expect to see 54 Green Acres’ products offered via Chalice Dispensaries in the form of live resin cartridges and much more. Originally a TV show about an actress and a lawyer moving to the countryside to start a new life, 54 Green Acres’ background history and the story are very similar. Owners Vin and Kate Deschamps originally moved away from their busy lives in California in August of 2014 to get closer to a more laid-back and peaceful lifestyle. Recreational Cannabis had just rolled out, and Vin knew this was the perfect strains time to make their 12 move. After a month plants of looking around at properties, Vin 650 bought their “little employees slice of heaven,” aka 54 Green 5 full-time and Acres, and gave 12 during harvest it to his wife as a birthday gift. pounds harvested per year Once they moved 1,000 onto the property, Vin and Kate grew pounds fresh frozen per year 12 medical plants 2,000 and harvested 40 pounds of primary grow style Cannabis. Native soil sungrown/ They trimmed it Regenerative farming all themselves and worked closely with dispensary Cannabliss, all of which gave them a better understanding and appreciation for the many facets of cultivation. Fast forward to today, their team of five full-time and 12 part-time employees help to harvest and trim a total of 1,000 pounds each year. CONTINUES NEXT PAGE >>
STORY by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by TONY SIMONELLI @_SIRAYNOT_
THE HARVEST ISSUE LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
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54 green acres Continued from previous page THEIR BREATHTAKING LOCATION IN CAVE JUNCTION
is home to 15 beehives, apple trees, chickens, rabbits, and much more wildlife. Being that their operation is Certified Kind, you can feel safe and rest assured that all of the products coming out of 54 Green Acres are as medicinally valuable as can be. Everything here is organic and herbicide/pesticide-free. Utilizing fresh river water, their plants have the perfect pH of 7.1 that naturally gives them everything they crave and need. With an abundant supply of chicken and rabbit manure, they put it to good use and add it into their compost. An important fact to note about this company is that all of their genetics are grown from clones. Each cycle, they select the healthiest clones possible. Overall, this ensures that the genetics are remarkably stable, offering the most terpenes and cannabinoids imaginable. While speaking about terpenes, our team was blown away by all of the new smells and sights we encountered during our visit. The first wonder of a plant we stumbled upon was Decibel Farms’ cut of Banana Punch. This genetic was given to them for the 2021 Oregon Grower Cup and will remain a solid strain in their garden. Directly next to the Banana Punch was their jaw-dropping Blackberry Kush, which displayed purple and pink pistils that were otherworldly. The most notable sight we saw during our visit was definitely their 18-foot Pineapple plants. These things towered over us higher than any other plants have, smelling like sweet and ripe tropical fruit. Our team was also beyond stoked to see some nostalgic strains like Kali (Hawaiian Blueberry x AK47), Jack Herer, Lemon Kush and their almighty Huckleberry Diesel. All of the plants were thriving with life and looked as healthy as can be. “Happy people, happy plants,” said owner Vin. They also had a unique cut of Green Dragon that was given to them by the Snodgrass Family. Unfortunately, the Snodgrass team “Being that their operation lost their original is Certified Kind, you can genetics, but 54 feel safe and rest assured Green Acres was nice enough to give that all of the products them their strain coming out of 54 Green back to keep it Acres are as medicinally alive. valuable as can be.” It is no surprise that this company has developed such a strong reputation for growing high THC strains, complete with terpene profiles to match. Their regenerative, sungrown operation is commendable, and others should view it as an example of how we can all do better. Their genetics are increasingly stellar year after year, so we can’t wait to see what they are up to next!
NOV. 2021
PRODUCT REVIEW
green dragon
Green Dragon offers a unique Cannabis experience from the diesel-infused inhale to the citrus-green-apple exhale, to the sweet, earthy finish. The flower’s terptastic hits offer both a body buzz and a creative, talkative high. The Elysium Fields Black Label Green Dragon cartridge has 10% terpenes and the same delightful flavors, bringing a heady punch in a consistently-hitting, clog-free cart. For the casual smoker, one hit may be more than enough to experience both the flavors and the high – while the harder-headed frequent smoker who enjoys an OMG high, will be surprised by how pure and overpowering an experience the Green Dragon vape provides from their second or third hit. Less is more from this cartridge! 54GREENACRES.COM | @54GREENACRES
STORY by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by TONY SIMONELLI @_SIRAYNOT_
THE HARVEST ISSUE
bonsai farms
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
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PAPAYA
NOV. 2021
THE TEAM
GMO
CRESWELL
T
raditionally, the bonsai tree signifies peace, harmony and synergistic positive energy. Much like this ancient and sacred tree, Creswell-based Bonsai Farms encompasses all of those qualities in their regenerative, living soil, sungrown garden. Using zero salts, they are constantly
testing their soil and nourishing a healthy micro-climate environment. “We add back to the land so it can keep giving back to us,” said Travis Ellis, the farm’s head of cultivation. T H E M A G I C S T A R T S with their rich native soil and “lasagne tech.” This technique consists of a layering of straw, amendments locally sourced from Down To Earth, as well as compost, which add to the natural levels of nitrogen and carbon found in the soil. Another product utilized in their garden is Bokashi fermentation. This anaerobic microbial solution has beneficial bacteria that make the plants go crazy. On a gorgeous day in late September, our team had the glorious opportunity to spend the day frolicking through Bonsai’s “Field of Dreams.” The first row of flowers offered a dazzling cut of Blueberry Muffin. The aroma DOSIDOS from this cultivar was so sweet and almost perfume-like, dominating the senses. Directly next to the Muffins laid an old school cross of Skunk #1 and Oregon Lemon Diesel, known as Sweet Oregon Skunk. This strain holds a special place in Travis’ heart, as he found it medicinally four years ago. One of the pride and joys of Bonsai most certainly is their coveted cut of the almighty Papaya. This strain is a unicorn of sorts, especially in the hash world. Although Papaya isn’t as eye-catching as the Blueberry Muffin per se, the terpene profile presented from this blissful plant is something that everyone needs to experience in their lifetime. Having the opportunity to try their single source live hash rosin personally, I can say that it tasted exactly how it smelled fresh on the plant – bursting with overripe exotic fruit notes. Adjacent to this fruit stand of smells were their beds of the heavy-hitting GMO and Wedding Cake, shining brilliantly. For those who have had the chance to try Bonsai’s GMO Cookies, you know how mouth-staining and jaw-dropping their cut is! CONTINUES NEXT PAGE >>
STORY by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by AMANDA DAY @TERPODACTYL_MEDIA
THE HARVEST ISSUE
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LEMONCANE
BONSAI FARMs
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
Continued from previous page
TRIM CREW
NOV. 2021
T H I S Y E A R , their team planted six phenotype displayed some of those sharp rows of IC Mag cut of Dosidos, and we lemon expressions, similar to a lemon saw exactly why. This unique version of Warhead. The “Michael Jordan Pheno,” Dosidos was unlike any other one we #23, smelled extremely gassy and threw have ever encountered, showcasing dark down massive colas. purple and violet leaves and light orange Amid their harvest season, we encounpistils. At Bonsai, you can find their farm tered their team tediously preparing some dog Dosi running around everywhere, of the wonderous Papaya for fresh frozen really bringing the vibes together. material. Another unique facet of Bonsai Behind this incredible cultivation are Farms is their ability to grow strains people that make their business what it is, specifically to make live hash rosin. Their as they are thoroughly involved and pasteam is also planning a breeding project, sionate about what they do. where they will be using Adjacent to this During our visit, we couldn’t both in-house genetics and help but notice a very gen- fruit stand of smells the most exclusive breeduine and loving connection were their beds of ers’ cultivars to create onebetween the staff. of-a-kind strains specifically the heavy-hitting geared for hash. On another plot of land GMO and Wedding directly behind one of their As far as what you can storage and processing faexpect to see from Bonsai Cake, shining cilities, we experienced their next year and beyond, be brilliantly. jaw-dropping pheno hunt on the hunt for their infused of Archive’s Lemoncane (Lemon Peel x hash joints, solventless cartridges, and a Dosidos), as well as some of their classic boatload of new rosin flavors very soon. Deadhead OG. Ask for Bonsai at your local dispensary … The 16 different phenotypes ranged you won’t be disappointed! from super creamy terpene profiles (Dosidos leaning) to straight-up lemon candy @BONSAI_FARMS notes (Lemon Peel leaning). Their #5 @BONSAISOLVENTLESS
STORY by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by AMANDA DAY @TERPODACTYL_MEDIA
PRODUCT REVIEW
papaya rosin
Upon first opening, the jar smells of overripe papaya and begins to fill the room – tempting me with a white tan, greasy dab resting inside the jar, ready for my enjoyment. As I begin to inhale the smells become tastes, as more overwhelming papaya flavors shower the palate. The high begins with an uplifting buzz, translating to a beautiful expression that is hard to find without tons of pine or lemon notes. PRODUCT REVIEW
Lemoncane #17 rosin
Lemoncane is the sweetest lemon of the bunch. A light tan appearance of the rosin is paired with a strong smell of lemon and sandalwood. There’s no rotten fruit funk or classic sour lemon notes, only a sugary and woody smell that cuts right to the back of the nose. Upon inhalation, a nice behind the eyes stoniness with a clear head and pep in your step is unleashed. With Lemoncane, it’s smooth sailing.
strains 10
plants 2,200+
employees 4+
dry pounds harvested per year 2,500-3,000
wet pounds harvested per year 25,000
primary grow style Regenerative Soil Grown Organic
BLUEBERRY MUFFIN
THE HARVEST ISSUE
b.a. botanicals
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
60
GELATO 41
NOV. 2021
ESTACADA
GROWING 40+ STRAINS
B.A.
Botanicals sits on an idyllic farm in Estacada, about 40 minutes outside of
Portland, where owner Sebastian Stalman takes advantage of his flat open spaces to lay out enough greenhouse space to keep him and his crew busy. He’s a few days into harvesting when we arrive and the entire place is a dazzling array of fall colors and filled with the scent of ripe Cannabis.
KEY LIME
A S W E W A L K from one space to another, Sebastian points to the soil he’s reused in the nearby vegetable and flower gardens, explaining, “We recycle the soil in all of our greenhouses, too. We brought it in years ago and now we just lightly amend it. Living soil is better for flavor and we don’t have to truck in soil after every harvest.” Sebastian is perpetually on the hunt and dialing in the cultivar that works best for his palate and cultivation methods. Altogether, B.A. works with approximately 40 different strains, pared down from a list three times that size, sifting for what hits all the marks. “The classic OG is always going to be my favorite,” Sebastian says as he shows us a few rows of OGs and OG crosses that blend into a patch of Chem 91. My eyes light up and we talk about his days in NYC delivering Chemdog by bike service. The dank herb left an impression, and here he is, years later, planting rows of it. CONTINUES NEXT PAGE >>
STORY by RYAN HERRON @THELOUD100 for OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by DIANA THOMPSON @DUDE.DIANA
THE HARVEST ISSUE
B.A. BOTANICALS Continued from previous page KEY LIME
SEBASTIAN’S GARDEN LINE-UP
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of cultivars reads like a dispensary dream menu: Bacio Gelato, Trop Cookies, Triangle Kush, Chem 91, Kush Mints. He shows us a handful of Zkittlez crosses and explains that he loves the flavor, but would be happy to find a plant that washes better. Nearly all of this flower is destined for hash, as B.A. is freezing close to 70% of this harvest. With some of these flavors spanning just a few plants, many of these drops will be incredibly limited. “Overall, the goal is to grow flower in a sustainable manner, and produce the sort of rosin that I would like to smoke.” Getting a glimpse at the hash destined for dispensaries this fall, and it’s clear Sebastian wasn’t joking when he said that they are prizing flavor first and doing a lot of small-batch, low-yielding flavor bombs. He’ll be offering notoriously low-yielding strains like Zkittlez when his hash drops later this year. “It’s all single source, so we can go with low yielders and be OK with it – we think the flavor and quality of the resin is ultimately the most important.” We close out the tour by checking out some of the curing flower they’ve recently harvested. The cool nights here have brought a lot of colors out in the flower and everything looks and smells amazing. Gas profiles, fruit flavors and bakery aromas were on full display. Get a taste for yourself soon … these jars hit shelves right as this issue goes to print. BABOTANICALS.COM @BABOTANICALS
NOV. 2021
RUNTZ
OG KUSH
Getting a glimpse at the hash destined for dispensaries this fall, and it’s clear Sebastian wasn’t joking when he said that they are prizing flavor first and doing a lot of small-batch, low-yielding flavor bombs.
WEDDING CAKE
TROP COOKIES
STORY by RYAN HERRON @THELOUD100 for OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by DIANA THOMPSON @DUDE.DIANA
concentrate of the month
CULTIVATED BY LIONTREE FARMS
STERLING GOLD EXTRACTS UPTOWN HAZE LIVE RESIN
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“I honestly can’t recall the last time a Cannabis variety made me feel so productive.”
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
61.49% THC 7.06% TERPENES
Those familiar with Sterling Gold Extracts know that they exclusively source their flower from Liontree Farms. Liontree, growing on a beautiful south-facing terrace in Southern Oregon, is synonymous with interesting genetics and excellent cultivation practices. This partnership puts Sterling Gold in the enviable position to select and extract some of the most coveted sungrown flowers in Oregon. This Uptown Haze is an excellent example. If you grew up on the East Coast and had an eye out for good flower, there was a good chance you went out of your way to get your hands on “The Piff” or “NYC Haze.” That citrussharp profile with incense strong notes of fruit and spice has nearly disappeared from the modern market. But one whiff of this Uptown Haze has me transported back to NYC, tearing into a $30 gram of delivery weed with a vague name, but a powerful scent. The extract in front of me is a cleaner and more pure expression than the bike-delivered gram of the past. Big bright citrus flavors are layered atop ripe peaches and dried apricots, complete with a finish of leather and shoe polish. A texture similar to crystalizing honey, a dab tool with a spoon on the end is ideal to get a proper scoop and not lose any precious sauce. The dab melts cleanly against the quartz, leaving me with a hit that tastes like a walk through a ripe Cannabis garden. Fruity and herbaceous, the exhale has more character than many extracts still in the jar. The effect of this live resin is very much get-up-and-go. I honestly can’t recall the last time a Cannabis variety made me feel so productive. Typically after a few dabs, I’m ready to sink into the couch and endlessly scroll through movie options, but not today. The Uptown Haze has me marching around the house looking for projects to tackle. None of the jitters or elevated heart rate you would expect from a sativa or a relatively strong cup of coffee – just focus and action. Initially, I was attracted to this concentrate for the hit of nostalgia and hard-to-find terpene profile, but after spending a few days with it, the effect has grown to impress me. The package altogether is a unique offering. For flavor chasers, productivity nuts, and folks looking to revisit their “Piff” days, this Uptown Haze is something you certainly won’t want to miss. @LIONTREEFARMS @STERLINGGOLDEXTR ACTS
NOV. 2021
REVIEW by RYAN HERRON @THELOUD100 for OREGON LEAF | PHOTO by DANIEL BERMAN @BERMANPHOTOS
EDIBLE OF THE MONTH
CHOMPD EDIBLES WATERMELON + RAINBOW GEEKS
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“Each bite offered a new explosion of flavors that had our senses overloaded with fruity essences.” NOV. 2021
Who’s ready to get geeked? This crunchy, chewy, sweet and sour edible checks the boxes for almost every flavor and consistency imaginable. And this geek we speak of is none-other than Chompd Edible’s Watermelon and Rainbow Geeks Cannabis Gummy. THEIR FUN and brightly colored edibles also come in select other varieties, including Raspberry/Lemonade, Blue Raspberry/Grape and Green Apple/Strawberry. We loved the contrast in texture and taste between the watermelon flavor and the rainbow candy crunches. Each bite offered a new explosion of flavors that had our senses overloaded with fruity essences. The watermelon gummy is a perfect consistency, without being too firm or chewy. Their bright and futuristic packaging is also a big plus in our books. In a market with an abundance of edibles, it can sometimes be hard to stand out and diversify your product from others on the shelves – but Chompd’s design and branding are as solid as it gets. About half an hour after eating the entire 50mg gummy, I felt my eyes become heavier and heavier, before dozing off to sleep in a very calm and peaceful way. These edibles are ideal for me for nighttime, as the effects come on quickly and leave you feeling well-rested without the grogginess the next day. If gummy candies aren’t your thing, be sure to check out Chompd’s delicious variety of chocolates. From personal experience, we are huge fans of their Mint N’ Chocolate and Dark Cherry Sea Salt Chocolate bars. Leaves us pondering what the masterminds at Chompd will come up with next...
CHOMPDEDIBLES.COM @CHOMPDEDIBLES 50MG THC/GUMMY
REVIEW by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | PHOTO by DANIEL BERMAN @BERMANPHOTOS
All Things Cannabis For All People
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Marijuana products may be purchased or possessed only by persons 21 or older. This product has intoxicating effects and may be habit-forming. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. For use only by adults 21 and older. Keep out of reach of children.
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off the shelf
LIGHT DEPRIVATION FLOWER C U LT I V A T E D B Y I M P E R I A L F A R M S
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JOKERZ
PEANUT BUTTER BREATH
FIRST CLASS FUNK
Here we have another killer genetic grown by Imperial Farms and bred by Compound Genetics: Jokerz. This complex cross of White Runtz and Jet Fuel Gelato is a perfectly balanced representation of both strains. With a sensational nose, killer structure and even better smoke, this strain is checking all the boxes on our end. Out of all the different Runtz crosses we have come across this year, the Jokerz certainly stands in a league of its own – showcasing the gassy characteristics that we all love.
Bred by the legendary Thug Pug Genetics, Peanut Butter Breath is a unique cross of Dosidos and Mendo Breath F2. Again, talk about a strain that perfectly reflects its name, and you have PBB. This zesty cultivar offers lime green buds that glisten with goodness. Taking a few rips unlocks a berry-like profile that is very welcomed and appreciated. As this strain helped relieve my anxiety and provided balance, I would suggest a daytime smoke to clear the mind.
Crossing GMO and Compound Genetics’ famous Jet Fuel Gelato, First Class Funk is a strain that certainly lives up to its name. Cracking the jar immediately lets out a skunky scent that is very reminiscent of the Chem lineage in the GMO. Once you break into the buds, more of the Jet Fuel Gelato comes into play, as the flower balances out the funk with a creamy terpene profile. Nug structure is tight and dense, making the flower grind smoothly and consistently. This strain is an excellent choice for nighttime usage, as the effects are potent and heavy.
19% THC | BRED BY COMPOUND GENETICS
27% THC | BRED BY THUG PUG GENETICS
28% THC | BRED BY COMPOUND GENETICS
IT’S HARVEST SEASON, and we all know what that means: freshly-grown, light deprivation flower! For this year’s annual Harvest Issue, we are stoked to be showcasing Southern Oregon-based Imperial Farms and their wide variety of genetic offerings. See what flavor suits you best as we detail and describe some of our top picks from their 2021 harvest. Hats off to the team at Imperial for their clean smoking flower – and keep an eye out for their single source solventless coming soon. NOV. 2021
REVIEW & PHOTO by MAX EARLY @LIFTED_STARDUST/OREGON LEAF | @IMPERIAL.FARMS
Find your flower. PHRESHCANNABIS.COM
Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. For use only by adults twenty-one and older. Keep out of reach of children.
food & cannabis
T H E A RT OF PA I R I NG C A N N A BI S
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Homie/Crewmember Isaac Alercon, left, with Fat Kid Food Co. Owner Chaz McKenna
NOV. 2021
FOCUS ON YOUR INNER FAT KID
C
FAT KID FOOD CO.’S KRABBY PATTY PAIRED WITH FOCUS NORTH’S WHITE TRUFFLE
haz McKenna’s wild mashup of flavors is a maximalist’s dream and incredible Instagram fodder, but it’s the food truck’s heart that should get the most attention. After the fires in Southern Oregon, Chaz saw an entire community in need and stepped up to help. He pulled the truck near the Red Cross food tent and began serving the full menu to anyone who needed a hot meal or a lift in spirits, at no cost. The line stretched long and they fed as many people as they could. The truck showed up again the next day and then the next, altogether spending 39 days helping to support the folks affected by the fires. Spreading joy is what FKFC does best. So Chaz seemed like the perfect fit to pair one of his flavor-packed dishes with this incredibly complex flower. We selected Focus North’s White Truffle for its funk-forward and nearly savory profile. Just cracking the jar fills the room with the scent of diesel, hazelnuts and funky wild onions. A BeLeaf selected second-generation cross of Peanut Butter Breath and Gorilla Glue, Focus North brought out the best in
“The Krabby Patty is over-the-top in the best way possible, and that’s what makes it such a perfect match for the White Truffle.”
this flower. The result is powerful and pungent, with top tier bag appeal. We asked Chaz to pair a dish with the savory and funky White Truffle, and after a minute of digging back through the catalog of rotating menu specials, he found an ideal candidate: The Krabby Patty. A nod to the accessibly weird Spongebob and showcase for the truck’s “beautiful chaos” style of cooking, this extraordinary smash burger is topped with a fresh veggie slaw, a bevy of crispy toppings and sauces, and accentuated with a burger-sized fried soft shell crab. The Krabby Patty is over-the-top in the best way possible, and that’s what makes it such a perfect match for the White Truffle. Something big and bold is exactly what is needed to cut through these strong flavors. In a joint, we notice the Truffle’s garlic, earth and funk-forward flavors carry through to each exhale. The effect is relaxed and a little spacey. Lucky for us, there’s no better cure
for the munchies than Fat Kid Food Co. We used to think it was cute to hit the bong and mix a couple of flavors of cereal. This, on the other hand, is stoner food done by professionals. Chaz and his crew are putting their imaginative riffs on ramen, burritos, sushi, burgers, and generally mixing and mashing up the foods we know and love to create larger-than-life renditions of our favorites. The carts are popping up all over Southern Oregon, so you can lock down these insane flavors by following their Instagram and showing up when necessary. Whether you catch them at the Harry and David baseball field or hunt them out like a nice bag of White Truffle, it’s a good idea to blaze one beforehand and fully indulge your inner fat kid.
@FATKIDFOODCO @FOCUSNORTHGARDENS
REVIEW by RYAN HERRON @THELOUD100 for OREGON LEAF | PHOTOS by TONY SIMONELLI @_SIRAYNOT_
cooking with Cannabis
R EC I P E S by LAU RIE WOLF | P HOTO by B RUC E WOLF
THE FLAVORS OF FALL d
URING THE PANDEMIC, Mary and I had a book published about Cannabis lifestyle. “The Cannabis Apothecary” covers every method of Cannabis use for every body part – from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet, there is a Cannabis product for you. It’s cool. It’s a lovely book, featuring many beautiful photos and all kinds of recipes. These three recipes appear in it, and will fit perfectly in your careful, Cannabis, holiday entertaining. Remember that when it comes to Cannabis, less is more. Same with alcohol I guess. No need to overdo – keep potency low and enjoy. Should you decide to infuse some butter or oil, go to our website LaurieandMaryjane.com for a step by step of the infusion method of your choice. Or email me – I’m happy to answer any food related questions. I don’t like to say happy thanksgiving anymore, but I do hope that if you have a meal with family or friends, you remember that we all deserve the same things in this world, and we need to be nicer. It can be really rough out there.
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2 servings
FONTINA TART 1 sheet frozen puff pastry, defrosted according to package directions 3 tablespoons canna-butter 1 leek, peeled and thinly sliced 1 garlic clove, finely chopped 1 teaspoon thyme 2 cups mushrooms, trimmed and sliced 6 slices bacon, cooked lightly and chopped 1 ½ cups grated or chopped Fontina cheese salt and pepper ¼ cup chopped scallions
16 servings
SALMON SPIRALS
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
12 servings
LEMON LIME BARS Baking spray 2 cups all purpose flour ½ cup sugar 2 tablespoons cornstarch ¼ teaspoon salt ¾ cup cold butter, some infused (4 tablespoons infused) 4 eggs, lightly beaten 1 ½ cups sugar 1/3 cup half and half 3 tablespoons flour 1 teaspoon lemon peel 1/3 cup lemon juice 1 teaspoon lime peel 1/3 cup lime juice 1 drop green food coloring powdered sugar
nov. 2021
1. Spray a 9x13 inch baking pan. Cover the bottom with parchment paper. 2. Heat oven to 340. In a large bowl combine the flour, sugar, cornstarch and salt. Whisk to combine. 3. Add the butter and mix with your fingers to form a mixture that resembles oatmeal. Press into the bottom of the prepared pan. Bake in the oven for 15 minutes. It will be light golden brown. 4. In a large bowl combine the eggs, sugar, half and half, flour, lemon peel, lemon juice, lime peel, lime juice and the green food coloring. 5. Pour the mixture on top of the baked crust. Bake until the filling is set, about 15-20 minutes. 6. Allow to cool fully before cutting into 12 servings. If desired, dust with a little extra powdered sugar and grated citrus peel.
2 cucumbers, ends cut off 5 tablespoons + 1 teaspoon canna-butter 8 ounces cream cheese, softened 4 ounces smoked salmon 4 tablespoons mayo 1 scallion, cut in pieces 2 tablespoons chopped dill 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice ½ teaspoon pepper ½ teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons capers
1. Heat oven to 340˚F/171˚C. 2. Place the puff pastry on a floured work surface and roll out an additional 1-2 inches. Place on a parchment lined baking sheet and chill. 3. In a large sauté pan, heat the butter. When temperature is relatively hot, add the leek, garlic, and thyme and sauté until tender, 5-6 minutes. Remove from heat and place ingredients on a plate. 4. Add the mushrooms and cook until done, 7-9 minutes; their liquid will release, simmer away, and turn golden with sautéing. 5. Spread the onions, mushrooms, and bacon over the pastry. Sprinkle with the cheese and follow with the salt and pepper. 6. Bake until the cheese is melted, and the tart is golden brown, about 25-30 minutes. Sprinkle with remaining scallions.
1. Place the cucumbers on your work surface. Using a vegetable peeler, slice the cukes the long way, trying to cut the length of the cucumber. Pat the slices dry with a clean dish towel or paper towels. 2. In a food processor, combine the cream cheese, salmon, mayo, scallion, dill, lemon juice, pepper and salt. Pulse until semismooth consistency is reached. 3. Spread each slice with the spread, 1-2 tablespoons each. Sprinkle with the capers. Tightly roll each slice. The slices will stay together due to the spread. Place on a serving tray and enjoy.
#KEEPPUSHING #LAUGH #LESSISMORE #BEKIND #RESCUEAPET #FORGIVEAFRIEND | LAURIEANDMARYJANE.COM
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Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of marijuana. For use only by adults 21 and older. Keep out of reach of children.
PRESENTS
a l l i m Sinse Sto r y
An assortment of Sinsemilla Tips issues over a “sea of green” garden— a technique that they covered first.
As Cannabis culture began shifting away from smuggling towards the “grow your own” philosophy at the end of the 1970s, a demand arose for more in-depth grow advice than what High Times offered at the time. From that vacuum, a new underground magazine emerged that would revolutionize Cannabis cultivation in America: Sinsemilla Tips.
RAID & REVENGE
LEAFMAGAZINES.COM
For more about Tom & Sinsemilla Tips, listen to Episode #16 of our podcast at worldofCannabis.museum/cannthropology.
Billed as “the nation’s only technical journal for the marijuana industry,” Sinsemilla Tips was created in 1980 by a grower named Tom Alexander as a sort of revenge fantasy against the establishment. Alexander had been living on a primitive 160-acre homestead in the backwoods of Corvallis, Oregon, where he planted around half an acre of quality Hawaiian genetics. But before he could harvest his first crop, a timber scout spotted his garden and reported it to the sheriff. On Sept. 27, 1979, 16 officers with semi-automatic rifles raided his homestead – confiscating his 1,200-plus plants and arresting him and his wife. Fortunately for them, the charges were ultimately dismissed due to an error on the search warrant regarding the location of his property. The authorities still kept his weed though, of course … and weeks later, three of the sheriffs involved were arrested by state police for attempting to sell it themselves. Unlike Alexander, however, who’d faced a $100,000 fine and possible 20 years in prison, the crooked cops were sentenced to just three years of probation. Incensed by this blatant injustice, the outraged outlaw set out to exact his revenge on the establishment through the written word. He decided to write a book about Cannabis cultivation, but was quickly persuaded by his grower friends to publish an ongoing journal instead. Without a lick of experience in journalism or publishing, Alexander sat down
NOV. 2021
with a typewriter, a kerosene lantern (he had no electricity), and some rubber cement and got to work. The result was a 16-page, typo-ridden newsletter that he christened Sinsemilla Tips.
TWO MOONS RISING
COURTESY OF TOM ALEXANDER
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WORLD OF Cannabis
After printing around 1,000 copies, Alexander drove up and down the coast from Mendocino to Seattle selling the newsletters for 50 cents apiece at grow stores, on street corners, or Sinsemilla Tips founder Tom Alexander. wherever he could. It was while visiting those horticulture shops in Humboldt and Seattle that he noticed all of the growers with wads of hundreds buying fertilizers and grow lights, that he had another bright idea. One month after starting the journal, he opened Oregon’s first hybrid indoor/outdoor grow shop: Full Moon Farm Products. “It was a 5,000-square-foot grow shop on Main Street in downtown Corvallis, right in front of everybody,” Alexander boasts. “It had windows that were 12 feet high, and we put grow rooms with 10foot tomato plants in those two front windows to show what could be done with those lights.” Upstairs from the Full Moon shop became the offices of New
Issue #3 - Fall 1980
Moon Publishing, where he produced the magazine. Though unsophisticated in its design, Sinsemilla Tips began providing a wealth of groundbreaking cultivation information from the world’s top Cannabis experts, including Robert Connell Clark, Ed Rosenthal, Skunkman Sam, Michael Wolf Segal (originator of the now-legendary “sea of green” gardening method), and Jorge Cervantes. “Jorge came into my store in 1983 and said, ‘I’m going to write a book Alexander entered through the back door, called his lawyer, on marijuana,’” Alexander recalls. “I and waited. When he opened his doors at 10:30 a.m., agents said, ‘Well, come back when you finish rushed in, followed by TV cameras, threw down a search warit.’ Six months later, he comes back in rant and began seizing his entire stock. and throws this book down, and I said, “They backed a U-Haul up to the store and just ‘Great – let’s go out back and smoke a started taking out inventory,” Alexander laments. joint,’ and we became best friends.” Thanks to partnerships with Last Gasp OPERATION GREEN MERCHANT publishing in San Francisco and HomeThe basis for these raids was a statute stead Books in Seattle, the magazine’s added to the Controlled Substances Act reach soon expanded nationwide. in the early 1980s that allowed for certain “Me, Jorge, David [Tatelman] of grow equipment to be classified as drug Best buds: Murphy Stevens, Ed Rosenthal, David Tatelman, Homestead, Ron Turner at Last Gasp … paraphernalia alongside bongs and pipes, Tom Alexander, and Jorge Cervates. we all became close-knit friends. They provided that they were “intended” to be helped distribute the mag, and it just took used to manufacture an illegal substance (marijuaoff.” na). To establish that illicit intent, the DEA had Operation Green conducted a two-year-long entrapment scheme Merchant patch. SINSE SENSATION codenamed Operation Green Merchant. On Dec. 26, 1985, the New York Times Starting in late ‘87, the DEA sent undercover agents to dozens published an article about Sinsemilla Tips of grow stores – particularly, those who advertised in Sinse Tips entitled “Magazine for and High Times – and asked workers there for information about NY Times article about Sinse Tips, 1985. Ambitious Marijuana Growers.” That growing marijuana. Aware of this possible legal jeopardy, most shop article led to more press, including appearowners (Alexander included) gave explicit instructions to never discuss ances on Geraldo, Phil Donohue, Nightline and the marijuana in their stores for any reason, and even to eject any customers who spoke Today show – thrusting Alexander into the spotlight of it. Unfortunately, employees at some shops failed to heed that warning; in the case as an outspoken new celebrity activist. of Full Moon Farm, the agents had posed as Vietnam vets with PTSD and persuaded “In all those TV shows, I would be on stage with some veterans working there into selling them equipment. These interactions providCharles Rangel and the head of the California DEA, ed the DEA with the legal justification needed to secure wiretaps, subpoena shipping and they would put forth totally ludicrous arguments, records from UPS, and confiscate millions in merchandise. while I would be in a suit and tie looking presentable In the case of Full Moon, authorities seized around $75,000 in merchandise and making credible arguments. That really pissed – which, under the civil forfeiture laws, they were never required to return even them off.” though Alexander was never actually charged with a crime. Instead, the Feds The publicity generated by the media coverage offered him a simple ultimatum: sign an agreement relinquishing all rights to the helped Sinse Tips go from an underground paper to merchandise and agreeing to never sell grow equipment again, or be charged with a legitimate commercial magazine. Soon, Alexander criminal conspiracy. Under advice from his lawyer – and pressure from his wife – he was able to buy a new Mac, hire a staff, and up the accepted the deal and closed the store. publishing frequency from quarterly to bimonthly. By the late 1980s, the magazine was up to 72 pagAFTER THE FALL es, printing 10,000 copies, and grossing around Of course, Operation Green Merchant didn’t end after the busts of Black Thurs$100,000 a year. With both his businesses booming, day – the investigation soon expanded, attempting to link the shop owners in a crimTom Alexander seemed to be riding high … but inal conspiracy with a prominent seed company in the Netherlands (that’s another sadly, his fortunes were about to change. story) and the marijuana mags in which they all advertised. Since the First Amendment prevented the Justice Department from targeting the publications directly, they BLACK THURSDAY simply shut down or scared off all of their advertisers in an attempt to starve them out On Oct. 27, 1989, DEA agents raided dozens instead. High Times managed to survive by eking out issues on a shoestring budget of horticultural supply stores across 46 states and for a while, but sadly Sinse Tips was forced to fold – publishing their final issue in arrested over 100 people – a day of infamy in the Canearly 1990. nabis community that became known as Black Thursday. Luckily for him, Alexander had seen the writing on the wall: A year before Green Merchant, “I was getting calls all morning from people on the East he’d started a separate, Cannabis-free magazine called Growing Edge, which was able to Coast saying, ‘I got the DEA here … my store’s being raided!’” scoop up most of Sensi Tips’ former advertisers. He ran Growing Edge until retiring from pubAlexander remembers. “I got to the store about 8:00 a.m. and lishing in 2009, then spent another decade serving as an expert witness for Cannabis cases and saw three unmarked cars in the parking lot with people sitting speaking at various conferences before finally leaving the world of weed behind. in them, and I said to myself, ‘Shit – they’re gonna hit me “I’m out of the Cannabis industry now,” Alexander admits. “I don’t smoke anymore … I had next!’” a heart attack a year ago, and the smoke in my lungs cuts my oxygen, so my doctor told me to stick to tinctures and edibles. I had a good 45-year run, but now I’m done.” STO RY b y B O B BY B LAC K @ CAN N T H RO PO LO G Y for LEA F NAT IO N
Story and photos originally published on worldofCannabis.museum and reprinted with permission.
MAGAZINES & PATCH FROM WORLD OF CANNABIS MUSEUM COLLECTION
“I saw three unmarked cars in the parking lot with people sitting in them, and I said to myself, ‘Shit—they’re gonna hit me next!”
I SHARE THAT SEDIMENT
W
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by Mike Ricker
e all know the 10-second rule. When you drop a piece of food, if you pick it up within 10 seconds, you have beaten the decomposition clock – essentially rescuing the item from the armies of crazed little germs that lie in waiting for food fumbles. In your mind’s eye, these microscopic creatures are blood thirsty vampires, lurching, smothering it with toxic juices and dripping fangs, rendering your Funyun a potential risk to your body’s wellness. Your taste buds, however, may not excuse your blunder. There is not a moment to waste for the fast action determination that will either land that flavor into your mouth, or sadly, litter the ground with another dead soldier. This is a decision factored on the intensity of your saliva, painfully anticipating the explosive zest while the impatient clock races to the point of no return. You grow weary of your surroundings, weighing the risks of irreparable illness, or judgement from any onlooker within eyeshot. Do you forego the hazards and redeem the gaffe, or exponentially enhance the chance that a frenzy of multiplying bacteria could foster an unpronounceable condition? Tick, tick, tick. You’re down to 007. You stare upon it, frazzled by the dilemma. This is an exceptional, onion-flavored ring, and you are not one to waste tasty salt. The forehead begins to bead. Slow motion ensues. There is a finite number of Funyuns in existence and this one is yours. You put the fun in Funyun. You reach down and pinch the item with two fingers, brush any dirt across your jeans, inspect it momentarily, then hammer into the crunchiness with a shear jaw clamp. You chew and finish. You do not lick your fingers this time, but wipe the hand on your jeans and go about your extremely busy day. In this unpredictable world where the strong survive, acquiring good food comes with challenges, and you are not one to be wasteful. Besides, those little critters are pure protein. Kind of like a ladybug on a blooming nug of weed. Not that you would ever eat one. Unless of course, it came after your Funyun.
nov. 2021
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