NWR Magazine Spring 2024

NWR SPRING 2024

Not a member?

NWR could be for you!

Have you just moved to a new area?

Have your children recently left home? You’ve experienced a major life change – or would just like some more friends?

Come and meet other women to share thoughts, life and experiences. Enjoy stimulating conversations – and, often, some great cake! We offer a range of activities, from book clubs to walking groups – join us! Email office@nwr.org. uk or call 01603 406767 to get involved.

Audio version

NWR Magazine is available in an audio format. Please contact the office for more info or find it in the members’ area of our website.

Printing

NWR Magazine is printed on Cocoon Silk recycled paper by Greenhouse Graphics, Hampshire.

A huge thank you for all of your submissions!

Please keep them coming – group news, travel news, personal journeys, short stories, poems. If we can’t fit them in the magazine, look out on the website. For the next edition, our Autumn issue, please send your contributions to office@nwr.org. uk by 31 August 2024 (copyright of material is transferred to NWR on submission unless otherwise requested and please note that photographs submitted will need permissions of all those shown in order to be featured in the magazine).

What’s on?

Weekly Lively Lounge

An opportunity for members and non-members alike to get together for a weekly chat on Zoom. Discuss books, current affairs – whatever takes your fancy. You’ll find all the details on our website, nwr.org.uk.

13-15 September 2024

The NWR National Conference

This year’s National Conference takes place at the Crowne Plaza in Sheffield over the weekend of 13 September. The theme is ‘Women of Steel’ and there’s an exciting weekend of events planned, including a meal and quiz on 13 September. All the info is on the website.

Don’t forget that walks and local Area Events are happening at NWR groups all over the country. Have you considered planning your own Area Event? Contact the office for more information on how we can support you.

Editor: Amanda Vlietstra

Designer: Josh Hilton Designs

Cover: Prince David @unsplash

General enquiries: office@nwr.org.uk

Website: nwr.org.uk

Twitter: @nwruk

Facebook: facebook.com/nwr

Telephone: 01603 406767

NWR, Unit 31, Park Farm Industrial Estate, Ermine St, Buntingford SG9 9AZ

Registered charity 295198

If you would prefer to receive an electronic copy only of this magazine, then please let us know.

Springing forward with NWR

This is my second magazine as Editor of the NWR members’ magazine, and I think I’m getting into the swing of it! As with the last issue, I was delighted to be sent so much great content from you, the members yourselves. You make my job easy!

Our country theme this year is the Caribbean, and in this issue we’ve got a fantastic article from Chair of the Trustees and independent member, Gill Wignall, about her Caribbean cruise. It sounds like an action-packed trip, full of history and culture – clearly, Gill didn’t spend her time lying on a sun lounger drinking rum cocktails as some of us (yes, I may be referring to myself here) might have done, given the chance! Read all about her adventures on p14

Don’t forget, if you’ve visited the Caribbean and have a story to tell about it, please do email it to office@ nwr.org.uk and you could be featured in the next edition of the magazine.

The same goes for our main theme, which this year is Courage, Dear Heart. I’d love to read more of your stories about times you took that leap of faith, climbed that mountain,

or pursued that dream you’ve always had. In this issue, we’ve got some wonderful stories from people living courageously. Madeleine Black – now an author and public speaker known as the ‘Courage Cultivator’ – was brutally raped when she was just 13 years old. For years, the shame blighted her life – until she found the inner strength to challenge it and allow herself to grow into a strong, confident woman who not only lives life on her own terms, but encourages other women to do the same. Read her story on p8

On p12, you’ll find Clare CampbellCooper’s moving story of discovering after less than two years of marriage that her husband, David, had a lifeshortening brain tumour. After a diagnosis like that, life can never be the same again – and indeed it wasn’t. Clare has now written a book called Choosing To Float about living with

terminal illness and loss, and she spoke to me about how she found the strength to keep going with the everpresent threat of David’s death hanging over them both.

Nicky Cove is also living fearlessly, in his own unique way. He made the decision a few years ago to live ‘off grid’ in a cabin he constructed himself, deep in Devon woodlands. Read all about how he copes with the winter cold – and washing arrangements – in my interview with him on p10

This edition of NWR also contains your Big Read reviews – check those out on p16 – and lots of wonderful members’ contributions, from creative writing and poems to Christmas crafting!

I hope you enjoy reading the magazine as much as I enjoyed putting it together – and please do keep those fabulous contributions coming!

12

Current events

6 Would you like to give something back to the NWR?

Why volunteering could make all the difference to you – and us

16 Read all about it!

Your Big Read reviews

Letter from the Trustees

Gill Wignall, Chair of Trustees, looks at what’s ahead for the NWR in 2024

Hello and welcome to the spring edition of the NWR magazine. Our new editor, Amanda, made a great job of the Autumn edition and I’m sure you’ll find this one will be just as engaging, full of interesting things to read, with photographs and news from our members all over the UK.

I love this time of year, seeing all the colourful spring flowers peeping through the soil to brighten the miserable winter days. They bring the promise of sunshine, new beginnings, and fresh experiences to enhance our lives, and the NWR office team have been working hard to ensure that we have lots to look forward to over the next few months.

As I write this, booking has opened for the next online conference, which promises much, with a fascinating selection of talks being held over the three days. The team are also planning to build on the success of the Dance for Life and Sign Language courses by finding innovative new subjects to test our brains!

The regular online talks will continue, but there are also exciting, face-to-face, area events and conferences in the pipeline, just look at the Events page on our website to see what’s going on. The 2024 National Conference is to be held in Sheffield on Saturday 14 September, and booking opened in early March, so if you haven’t booked already, now is the time!. The Conference Planning Team has put together an impressive list of speakers, fun workshops, and a comprehensive list of things to do around Sheffield. There is also the option of an additional evening event on Friday 13 September, so why not make a weekend of it? It is going to be an interesting and thought-provoking couple of days, and I am really looking forward to meeting lots of you there. Face-to-face events are always popular, and it is such a pleasure to

spend time with friends, both old and new. Even if you go to an event alone, it won’t be long before you get chatting to other delegates. NWR members are never short of something to say! We fully understand that some of you prefer these events to those organised online, so why not get involved in organising something yourself, either with your own group or with others in your area? It’s great fun and our knowledgeable office staff are always on hand to help if needed.

The best way to ensure the longterm survival of NWR, which is of course what we all want, is to get involved and help us move forwards. I know it’s been said many times before, but it’s still true to say that you only get out what you put in, and being involved can be very rewarding. Contact the NWR office if you feel inspired to volunteer!

Finally, I would like to say goodbye to our National Organiser, Vicky Wooldridge. She has only been with us for a short time, but she has instigated some successful and innovative programmes, aimed at increasing our reach and membership, especially amongst younger women. I know the job has been quite a challenge, but Vicky has always remained positive, cheerful and a pleasure to work with. We wish her all the best in her future career.

Making memories

The NWR’s Scrapbook Project has finally been completed, explains National Organiser, Vicky Wooldridge

In 2020, the National Women’s Register celebrated its Diamond Anniversary – 60 wonderful years of connecting lively-minded women! To celebrate this incredible milestone, we asked local groups and independent members to contribute to the NWR Scrapbook Project; an initiative designed to showcase their part in our wonderful organisation.

As we began to make arrangements for our exciting anniversary year, like so many other celebrations in 2020, Covid-19 had other plans. However, our lively-minded and determined members persevered, and the scrapbook pages were finally able to be created and returned to the National Office.

If you attended the National Conferences in Birmingham (2021) and Newcastle (2022), you would have seen the scrapbooks on display for all delegates to see. They certainly drew a crowd and were a popular talking point among members. It’s of no surprise though – they are absolutely wonderful!

I’m delighted that we have now been able to digitise each page for members to view on the NWR website. This was made possible by some willing student volunteers who, over the course of two to three weeks, scanned approximately 640 pages! The office staff then spent time putting the scanned files in alphabetical order and uploading them to the website in the appropriate format.

With the digitisation now complete, we were then able to transport the scrapbooks – all seven of them – to the Women’s Library in London. Carefully packed in suitcases, you’d have been forgiven for thinking we were off on holiday if you’d seen us trekking across London! When we arrived at the Women’s Library, the scrapbooks were officially recorded and added to our national archives. And here they will stay, forever remaining an iconic moment in time for members, now and in the future to look back on with immense pride.

Thank you to all members who contributed in any way to this celebratory project. You have created something truly special which we hope you will cherish for many, many years to come.

The Mary Stott Award 2024 Nominations are open

Recognising our exceptional women - we know you’re out there!

With a fresh set of criteria that aligns the award with the work of Mary Stott herself and celebrates those women who have gone above and beyond for NWR, the award committee are delighted to announce that nominations are open for the 2024 Mary Stott Award.

Do you know an NWR member who fits the new criteria?

The award was set up in 2003 in memory of journalist Mary Stott, whose article in The Guardian pointed out the social and intellectual isolation of so many 'housebound housewives with liberal interests and a desire to remain individuals'. As a result of Maureen Nicol’s letter in response to her article, the 'Liberal-minded Housebound Wives' Register’ was born and eventually became the National Women’s Register.

The criteria

The winner of the award will need to

2. Organises an event or activity that results in positive and extensive publicity for NWR.

3. Exceptional service to NWR –whose contribution has been of great value to NWR over a sustained amount of time.

How to submit a nomination

Please make the member you are nominating aware and seek their agreement. Write no more than 500 words explaining why you have nominated them, setting out clearly what she has done, the impact and how it aligns with the criteria. Email your nomination to the office at office@nwr.org. uk and ensure you receive acknowledgement that it has been received.

a quaich, a two-handled cup of friendship, which she will hold for a year, as well as a complimentary ticket to the NWR 2024 National Conference in Sheffield including Friday night accommodation.

Good luck!

Would you like to give something back?

If the answer is yes, have you considered volunteering for NWR? We are looking for more Area Supporters and Area Event Supporters to join our team!

We believe the roles offer an exciting opportunity for members to contribute meaningfully to NWR and provide the charity with the support it needs to ensure it continues to be here into the future for women looking to make connections, have interesting conversations and fun!

The roles can be taken on individually or combined. They can also be shared – in fact, we welcome more than one person taking on the roles within a given area!

Main purpose of Area Supporter role:

• Provide support to the Local Organisers (LOs) assigned to you, promote the benefits of being part of

the national organisation, the support it brings and NWR regional, national and online activities.

• Identify opportunities for improving the member experience.

• You will perform an important ‘linchpin’ role of delivering updates from the NWR office and communicating back the views of members.

Main purpose of Area Event Supporter role:

• Work with NWR staff to gain an understanding of the types of the events NWR members in your area would like to attend.

• Organise events for NWR members in your area. The number and type of events may vary, it could be a day

Volunteering

is good for you!

We all lead busy lives and it can be difficult to fit voluntary work into a hectic daily schedule. But, as well as providing much-needed help to charities and other organisations, research has shown that volunteering among adults, particularly those aged 60 and over, offers positive physical and mental health benefits. According to reporting by the Mayo Health Clinic, research also indicates that volunteering leads to lower rates of anxiety and depression, especially in those aged 65 and over.

conference, a social event or visit, with the objective to bring members together in a safe, social and enjoyable environment.

Volunteers are invited to quarterly meetings via Zoom with other volunteers and staff. These meetings are friendly and supportive and provide an opportunity for volunteers to share their experiences, receive updates from staff and provide feedback to staff.

Please contact Cath Heslop at cath.heslop@nwr.org.uk if you would like to discuss taking on a voluntary role at NWR.

Volunteers report enjoying a sense of purpose, making new social connections, learning new skills and even improving job prospects as among the positive benefits of volunteering. A 2019 national survey by the National Council for Volunteering Organisations (NCVO) found that an impressive 77% of volunteers reported that volunteering improved their mental health and wellbeing. And the most commonly-listed benefit, identified by 93% of volunteers? ‘I enjoy it!’

“I

needed a fresh challenge”

Heather de Lacey of Leighton Buzzard group explains why she became an Area Supporter

Ijoined Leighton Buzzard group when I moved to the area 15 years ago. I was given a very warm welcome and made to feel part of the group straight away. I have now been Local Organiser (LO) more than once, the most recent time being during and after the pandemic. I put a lot into the role, brought about change and was fortunate enough to welcome lots of new members, but believed it was time to hand over to a new order with fresh ideas and even more innovative ways of doing things so that our group would continue to thrive and flourish (which I’m delighted to say, it is). The warm welcome I received has always stuck with me and it is one we always extend to new members, making sure they feel included and welcome from the outset.

I kept my role as part of the NWR Facebook Admin Team which I love doing, but felt I needed a fresh challenge where I could share with others what I’ve learned along the way and what I continue

to enjoy, namely that we are not only a friendship group but also a support network both locally and also nationally so it seemed logical to investigate becoming an AS (formerly known as Area Organiser). I had lots of chats with Cath and Vicky, both of whom were incredibly supportive and keen for me to take on the role, even allowing me to choose the groups that would come under my umbrella. I hadn’t allowed for Cath’s gentle persuasive skills though – I started off with seven groups –a nice manageable number I thought – but before I could say 'Area Supporter', Cath had convinced me to take on another two groups, so it is now nine!

The part of the central area I am supporting has never had an AS which has meant quite a lot of work introducing myself, getting to know the LOs, making suggestions – some of which are now beginning to bear fruit and others which have gone down like the proverbial lead balloon. At the same time I have made it

clear that the role isn’t one of organising which the old name suggested but literally one of supporting as the new name says and hopefully bringing fresh eyes to areas that may be problematic. This can be done either one to one with me, or collectively with the groups in the area.

I’ve been fortunate to meet an enthusiastic and knowledgeable group of fellow ASs on Zoom who were happy to answer my ‘rookie’ questions and to share ideas, to share successes and also to share what hasn’t worked so well.

I won’t pretend it’s been easy and there are setbacks, but if you are stepping down as an LO and would like another role, do investigate becoming either an AS or an Area Event Supporter (AES) as it’s good to give something back to an organisation that gives us so much.

Photo of Area Supporters at the NWR Annual Conference 2022 in Newcastle

Photo: Nathan Lemon on Unsplash

Rising from the ashes

Madeleine Black was just 13 years old when she was raped by two male acquaintances. For years, she kept quiet, but in adulthood, she found the courage to tell her story –and it was life-changing

Madeleine’s memoir, Unbroken, was a bestseller, and she works as a psychotherapist and professional speaker, helping give the victims of sexual violence a voice. She spoke to Amanda Vlietstra about rising above adversity to achieve personal transformation – and peace.

As a mother to a 13-year-old girl, I found Unbroken almost too painful to read. What you went through is horrific.

If you look at me now, though, I’m really, really OK. It took a long time to get to this place, but I really am OK, and what happened doesn’t overshadow or influence my life in any way at all anymore, except in a positive way. I think now that I've got post-traumatic growth rather than post-traumatic stress.

Without going into the trauma in too much detail, what happened that night?

The rapists were both American, the sons of diplomats. My friend’s dad was American, and that’s how she knew them. We went to a Mexican restaurant and met them there, and

they took us back to her empty flat, and that’s when I was attacked.

Did you tell anyone afterwards, and how did they react?

I didn’t speak about it straightaway because one of the rapists had threatened to kill me if I did. I believed him and it took me three years to tell anyone. But the trauma has to come out of you in some way so for those three years, I struggled with anorexia, suicide attempts, drugs, alcohol. I partied really hard, just numbing out, not wanting to think about what had happened. One night I had a big argument with my mum and she said ‘you’re going to get yourself into trouble.’ I was thinking ‘it’s already happened.’ I still couldn’t verbalise what had happened to me, so I left a little note on her pillow.

Did your mum believe you?

My parents called the friend I was with that night, and she said it hadn’t happened like I said it had. My dad wanted to call the police, but I was still too terrified that my attackers would come for me. My mum was just really quiet. I thought she didn’t believe me, and I felt betrayed by her and by my friend. It was a horrible

time – but now I know, sadly, that my mum had been raped by a neighbour when she was eight years old. My dad never knew – they were married for nearly 40 years and had five children, and he went to his grave not knowing her secret, because she was too ashamed to tell him. And when I was disclosing what happened to me, she was silenced by her own trauma.

When did she tell you this?

She told me when my oldest daughter was 13. Trauma had caused me to shut out what had happened, but I’d started going to therapy again as my memories had returned, and I was studying psychotherapy. She said, ‘I did believe you, it’s just that this is what had happened to me, and I didn’t want you to have to go to the police and to court, because I had to be examined and I had to show them on dolls what he did to me, and I didn’t want that to happen to you.’ It was only then, all those years after my dad died, that she told me her story.

Wow! Was her abuser convicted?

Yes, he was sentenced – but while he was in prison, my family moved away. My grandparents never spoke

of it again but all these years later, when my mum heard me speaking out publicly about what happened to me, she found her voice too and started to tell people what happened to her. That’s why I always say that courage is contagious – it really helps other people find their voice.

Shame is often what keeps women quiet, and you’ve done a Ted talk about ‘shaming shame’. Is this what you experienced yourself?

Yes, overwhelming shame. I felt degraded and dirty. I knew something had taken place, and I knew there’d been sexual violence but I thought I’d brought it on myself. I also thought if people knew, they’d think I was contaminated and disgusting. I couldn’t even say the word ‘rape.’ It’s a weird thing, shame, it comes out of every pore and you can’t run away from it so you try and keep quiet, and it’s really debilitating. Now I don’t care who knows what happened to me!

What was the catalyst for writing your memoir, Unbroken?

It was in 2014, when I attended an event by a UK charity called the Forgiveness Project which helps victims and perpetrators of violence and crime explore ideas around forgiveness – because my story is also one of forgiveness. I met another speaker, an amazing woman called Marian Partington whose sister Lucy was one of Fred and Rose West’s victims. When she spoke it was incredible, she emanated peace. I bought her book and inside she had written ‘now you must speak.’ I’d been advised to write my story down and it took four years to write twelve pages as the shame held me back. But when Marian said ‘now you must speak,’ I thought ‘I’m going to write my story.’ And this time the words came flowing out of me. I wrote 70,000 words in eight weeks!

You talk about forgiveness – is that a necessary part of the healing process?

I’d never say anyone had to forgive if they don’t want to forgive. It took me by surprise but I happened to choose to forgive my attackers. First I had to forgive me, just for being a naive 13-year-old who lied to my parents and went back to an empty

flat and tried alcohol for the first time, with devastating results. And then I saw that by not forgiving my rapists, I was consumed with hate and bitterness. A manager when I worked at the Counselling Centre in Glasgow was a midwife and she said that she had delivered thousands of babies and never once met an evil one. That stayed with me always. I just got curious to why my attackers behaved that way, what had they seen or heard or experienced to make them like that? Why did they dehumanise and humiliate me? I started to feel compassion. I believe that it must affect their life far worse than it affected mine, as I was determined to heal and grow and live my best life – and I think I’ve done that. Forgiveness allowed me to transform my pain into something else.

Sadly, rape is as prevalent now as it ever was. What needs to be done to change society for the better?

Education at a young age about respect, about equality, about consent. We need to make people aware of their bodies and that we have a choice in what takes place there or not. Obviously, I didn’t have a choice that night, but it’s still important to be aware of respect and relationships and healthy boundaries. To be honest, I don’t have all the answers to this question as it often doesn’t feel like it’s getting any better.

" We are not defined by what knocks us down - we are defined by how we get back up

What would you say to people who have unresolved trauma in their past?

Stop denying ourselves our stories –write it down. It’s never too late to find your voice and make peace with it.

Unbroken by Madeleine Black is available on Amazon. You can find out more about her and her work at her website, madeleineblack.co.uk

LIVING COURAGEOUSLY

A life less ordinary

Nicky Cove, 52, has been living in Devon woodlands for four years. He told Amanda Vlietstra what living off-grid is really like

Woodlanders Henry David Thoreau and Dick Proenneke were really the inspiration to live off-grid. After separating from my daughter’s mother, I was struggling financially, but after reading the research and studies about fathers, it was really important to me to share custody of her 50/50 with her mum.

I had previously travelled the American North-West, and met with people who live off-grid in the mountains there, I’d spent time living with an eco-community back in the UK. I knew living off-grid was possible – and I knew the ropes, it came naturally to me.

When the opportunity came up to live in woodland in Devon, I decided to go for it.

That was eight years ago, and now I’m settled into my tiny home in 13 acres of deciduous woodland. I wake up to the sound of birdsong, drink coffee on my verandah, breathe air that’s clean and free of exhaust fumes.

I do not have mains gas, water, electricity, and home is a wooden cabin that I built myself – it only took a weekend to construct the initial frame. Most of it is made from reclaimed materials. It cost less than £3k. It measures 16 x 12 ft, plus a verandah. Outside the cabin, there’s a composting toilet and a 12 volt shower – although that needs fixing as it got nibbled by a vole! Inside I’ve got a wood-burning stove for cooking and for warmth. Washing clothes can be difficult, especially during the winter, so recently I’ve bought a little generator and a twin-tub, like you’ll find in caravans. I have a camping gas stove, too, for when I want to make a quick up of tea. My daughter, who’s now 14, has her own bedroom area that can be curtained off

from the rest of the cabin for privacy. Despite the fact that there’s no WiFi or even a phone signal in the woods – and most teens are surgically attached to their phones – she loves spending time here. I think she finds it restful, putting her phone away and escaping from the non-stop madness of social media for a while. In many ways, I think she has the best of both worlds, as she has time to relax and chill in nature with me, and the benefits of living in a town with her mum, too.

Safe as houses

She’s not at all concerned if she has to get up in the night to use the loo – like me, she finds it safer being in the forest at night than in the town. Yes, you might see owls or bats, but they’re not at all scary compared with towns at night!

Have you ever heard the warbling love calls of the tawny owl? It's my favourite sound out here.

I’m not completely self-sufficient, yet. I work off-site for two days a week – I'm an outdoor living skills facilitator helping people experiencing mental health issues and those with learning differences. This provides me with enough money to keep my van going and buy me any food that I can’t grow or forage myself. Although it will take time, we are growing lots of fruit and nut trees, shrubs, herbs and some perennial veg. I eat a fair amount of nettles, they are always in abundance here. Lop off the top shoots and they’re as good as spinach, perfect in soups or stews. Very nutritious.

Ahomebuiltbyhand

Photo: Hans Veth on Unsplash

I’ve been vegetarian for over 35 years – I eat local honey and eggs, so I’m not a vegan.

Calendar of jobs

I endeavour to relax out here as much as possible. The woodland is dense and needs careful and considered winter thinning in order to maintain its biodiversity – and I have a small calendar of activities that need to be done throughout the year. In September, I get on the roof of my house to clean the flue, and I move the composting toilet. Check smoke alarms. Sharpen the tools. There’s always a job to be done, and I love working with the rhythm of the seasons.

I want people to know that you can do this. Yes, living off-grid can be a challenge – as well as the physical aspect of working to stay clean and warm instead of just pressing a button or flicking a switch, you will get pushback from the local council and other authorities, and you need to brace for that! You do need nerves of steel – but it’s worth it.

In terms of legislation, there will have to be a time soon where people will be allowed to live off-grid - low

impact, low income, soaking up CO2 and increasing biodiversity. If councils/government truly recognise a climate situation, then people living in this fashion has to be in keeping with reducing climate impact.

I absolutely love the peace and solitude, and the sense of accomplishment I get from living in as much harmony with nature as possible. Seeing this much nature up close.

The most perfect place for me is in my cabin, in the woods, with my daughter, listening to the tawny owls.

To quote Henry David Thoreau, 'I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts

Living off-grid –what you need to know

There are 150,000 off-grid homes in the UK, according to the website The Eco Experts. The most popular way of doing so is by converting a van into a home, but a growing number of people are choosing to build or create off-grid homes. A quick Google shows that communities of off-grid woodlanders are burgeoning, with Tinker’s Bubble in Somerset, established in 1994 and home to 16 residents, being perhaps the best-established. Owned by a community benefit society, its residents are sustained by the income from a steam-powered sawmill, apple orchard and press, and cottage garden food production. In most cases, it’s perfectly legal to live off-grid in the UK. According to the website Live Off Grid, which promotes its own sustainable and renewable housing options – converted shipping containers

of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.'

Living here is a dream come true for me. I'm living a life from which I don't need a vacation.

Following the rhythm ofthe seasons

being among the most popular – there are no laws about living off-grid in the UK. However, you would of course need permission from the landowner if you don’t own the land yourself – and some local authorities might have specific rules around areas of natural beauty. Believe it or not, you will have to pay council tax. There are, of course, huge environmental and financial benefits to living off-grid – but it can be expensive to get established. The Eco Experts estimate that set-up costs are typically around £42K – although this is significantly lower than the cost of a house in the UK, and can be done more cheaply, as Nicky Cove’s story demonstrates. Whichever route you choose, you need to think about water, sanitation and energy – you’ll find a wealth of expertise online if going off-grid is something you’re serious about!

Photo: Jill Dimond at Unsplash

Lo e, life and loss

Clare Campbell-Cooper lost her husband, David, to brain cancer after a 14-year battle with the illness. She spoke to Amanda Vlietstra about coming to terms with grief – and how her faith gave her strength and courage

On her wedding day in 2007, at a pretty little church in North Molton, Devon, Clare Campbell was full of hope and happiness. She was marrying the man she loved –David, a bright, funny soul who loved country walks and playing rugby. Soon, they’d start a family and they’d live happily ever after – or at least as close to that as anyone can get.

"When we got married, I thought this was it, we’d always be together," Clare says. But just over a year later, David unexpectedly had a seizure

in the middle of the night. Tests revealed that he had a brain tumour. The ‘good’ news was that it was a relatively benign grade II astrocytoma. The bad news was that David would need careful monitoring and ongoing medical treatment –and he was no longer able to drive, meaning Clare was catapulted into the role of carer and driver overnight. Over the next year David was in and out of hospital – but even in the darkest times, there was joy. Their son, George, was born in 2010. "David was

an amazing father,” Clare smiles. Just two months after George was born, David went into hospital in London for surgery to have the tumour removed. The couple were full of optimism: if the surgery went well, there was a chance life could return to something approaching normality.

Unwanted news

But the surgery revealed that, far from being relatively benign, the tumour was in fact a grade III anaplastic

astrocytoma. At not quite 30 years old, David had less than 10 years to live.

The news was devastating – but Clare and David had no choice but to accept it and plough on with David immediately starting radiotherapy when they got home. One of the hardest things was dealing with the uncertain nature of the illness. “The fact that David could go in the space of 24 hours from being OK to then being in A&E, meant we never really knew what was happening,” Clare says. “I remember going to my doctor after his operation and saying ‘I just need to sleep’, because as David was falling asleep, his nerves would make his body shake and I’d think he was having a seizure. I was on high alert all the time. It’s that whole living on a knife’s edge, that’s what took its toll on me more than anything else. It was exhausting.”

Managing David’s illness was something Clare had to absorb along with looking after George and keeping the household finances afloat with her job in clinical research. “As David’s health declined, due to where his tumour was - in his speech and reading and writing parts of his brain - his word recall got progressively worse, mostly due to the high dose of radiotherapy that David had received. And his short-term memory was really poor,” she says.

Just getting out of the house was a struggle in itself. “It was like living with a child. I’d be saying, “don't forget your phone. Don’t forget your coat.” But it's one of those things that you adjust to and all of a sudden it became our normal chain of events.”

Shared faith

What kept Clare and David going even during the toughest days was their shared faith. “David was raised a Protestant in Belfast and his faith was always consistent,” Clare explains. “I didn’t go to church before we met, but that changed when we decided we were going to get married in church, I'm one of those people that if you're going to do it, you do it properly. Over the course of our relationship, we spent a lot more time with our church. During David's illness, he was up at church most days and I used to go to church twice a week and we used to run church groups, so it was just a massive part of our life.”

For Clare, the notion that what was happening was all part of God’s plan was a huge comfort – and for David, his

belief in Heaven gave him the courage to face the inevitability of his death. “It’s really good to know that there is Someone that's got a much bigger picture,” Clare says. “I still firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. We can make all the right choices, and we can do everything that we can as part of our lives, but God, for me, is the person that's in control. We can only control so much. Knowing that there was somebody holding us gently was so important to us. It was possibly the thing that kept us going a lot of the time – it was for me, and I know it was for David.”

Graceful acceptance

“David once told me that God had given him the tumour because he knew he could cope with it,” she adds. “It was really humbling to hear him say that.”

So strong was Clare’s faith that she completed a year of vicar training –but dropped out when David died in 2021 as she needed to prioritise being at home with George. David’s death, shortly before his 40th birthday, more than 12 years after his initial diagnosis, was very peaceful. He’d deteriorated to the point where he could no longer remember anybody’s name and needed round-the-clock care. Clare, George and his sister Karen sat with him at home as he slipped away.

She still grieves for David, but it’s clear his death was also a release. “He was so ill by the time he died, it meant I couldn't be upset about him dying because he didn't want to carry on in his bodily shape.” And, as she says, having been his carer for so many years, it was more like losing a child than a husband. “David changed so dramatically during his illness over a prolonged period of time. It's very different than if somebody had something like prostate cancer or died in a car crash and then your person is just gone. I lost my person a decade ago.”

But, after so many years of her world revolving round illness, Clare’s life suddenly looked very different – and in its way, that was challenging, too. What would help her – and others - she decided, was to write a book about her experiences. And so Choosing To Float, a beautiful book about life and loss and the resilience of the human spirit, was born.

Clare says the title encapsulates exactly what the book is about. “When you're going through all of that, you don’t have

a choice in what’s going to happen, but you do have a choice about how you respond to it. You can give up or you can choose to see it as a way to actually understand what's really important in life. And that’s what we chose: to see the good that comes from bad and to make the most of the time that we had.”

She has since started a relationship with a new partner, and wants other people to know that you can find happiness after trauma. “I don’t think I’m any different from any other woman who’s approaching 50, working full-time with kids at home,” she says. “It’s a hard graft – life can throw you some hard knocks. What I wanted to do was write something raw and open, because I think people want to hear that you’re walking in the same footsteps as they are. It can be pretty rubbish, but there’s always a silver lining, always something positive you can take out of it.”

Her advice to women going through relatable trauma is to “go gently with yourself. And if there’s a chance of happiness – take it!”

Choosing to Float

by

Clare CampbellCooper is priced at £8.99 and available from Amazon. co.uk. Clare will be giving at least 10% of her net royalties to Brain Tumour Research.

Sailing the seven seas

Independent member and Chair of the Trustees Gill Wignall explored the Caribbean by boat – and here’s what she learned about this fascinating region…

It was a miserable day when my husband and I saw the itinerary for this Caribbean cruise. Some friends had done something similar and enjoyed it, so we looked out of the window and thought, why not? We had never been to the Caribbean, nor on such a long cruise, but it seemed a better plan than January in the UK and when NWR announced it as their country theme for 2024, I thought that it was meant to be!

The Caribbean is a subregion of the Americas that includes the Caribbean sea and its islands, although some of the islands also border the Atlantic Ocean. There are more than 700 islands, islets, reefs and cays, and our itinerary took us to just 12 of them, including Barbados, Curacao, St Lucia, Dominica, Grenada, Guadeloupe, the Bahamas, Bonaire and Antigua.

During a long and turbulent history, the islands have been colonised by Spanish, English, Dutch, French and Portuguese settlers, and African slaves were brought over to work on the sugar cane plantations. Many battles were fought for control, and possessions frequently changed hands, so the cultures and languages are very varied, and the Caribbean is one of the most

ethnically diverse regions in the world.

Saint Martin, for example, is a small island, but it comprises two separate counties, divided between its French side, Saint Martin and its Dutch side, Sint Maarten. There are border crossings and phone calls between the two sides of the island are classed as International!

Beautiful Barbados

Bridgetown, the capital of Barbados, was home to the faded splendour of British colonial buildings and Parliament buildings, dating back to 1874, built with profits from the slave trade. Traffic drove on the left, but a cup of tea was hard to find as everything was closed on a Sunday!

The buildings in Curacao are so Dutch that you could be in Amsterdam, and Dutch is still the sole language for legal and administrative matters. The wobbly bridge linking the two sides of its capital, Willemstad, is the oldest floating pontoon bridge in the world and has been in operation since 1888. The predominant languages of the islands are English, French, Spanish, Dutch and Antillean Creole.

Some of the Caribbean islands are

volcanic, with rugged mountain ranges. St. Lucia is famous for its beach resorts, but also for its twin peaks, known as the Gros and Petit Pitons, which are volcanic plugs now providing climbing and hiking opportunities for tourists. It is also home to the world’s only drive-in volcano at Soufriere, which we visited to smell the sulphur, watch the bubbling, hot mud pools, and laugh at people covered in healing mud from the mud baths.

Dominica is also a volcanic island. It has a few beaches, but its rainforests, mountains and hot springs have made it a destination for ecotourists. Unfortunately, it is bang in the middle of the hurricane zone and in 2017 it was totally devastated by Hurricane Maria.

The capital Roseau was a lively place, but there was still much evidence of hurricane damage.Interestingly, Dominica has three times the average incidence of centenarians compared to other developed countries. We didn't find out why, but we saw several houses decorated with balloons to celebrate a one hundredth birthday.

The hurricane season runs from June to November, and we saw much damage on several islands, as well as on Dominica. The economic impact on

the islands is huge and completely out of their control. Most islands are unable to finance the rebuilding and must look elsewhere for aid.

In Grenada, the building of a new national stadium was financed by the People's Republic of China, in return for visas for their citizens. Generally, though, the region is sunny and warm for most of the year, making it an ideal tourist destination and tourism is now the major industry. Many islands are surrounded by coral reefs, which make safe lagoons and beaches. Being close to the shore, the reefs also make excellent locations for snorkelling and scuba diving. These factors, together with its proximity to the USA, make the Caribbean a big draw, especially for cruise ships.

Rum and spice

In Bonaire, you can visit the impossibly small huts that were built for the slaves working on the salt flats. They slept eight but were not tall enough to stand up in.

Nelson's legacy

Nelson's Dockyard at the English Harbour in Antigua was a safe haven for his ships, with slave labour for the maintenance of them. The buildings are built of stone which came over as ballast on the ships. The ballast was exchanged for return cargoes of rum and sugar, which seems like a good deal for the ship owners. All over the islands are stone boundary walls, built by slaves, also using ships’ ballast.

The Caribbean is famous for pirates – and Anne Bonny and Mary Read are among the few female pirates in recorded history.

Grenada is known as the spice island, with its main exports being nutmeg and mace. We came across all sorts of varieties of rum, including some which were 80% proof, and which could be infused with whatever you wanted –they were said to be an aphrodisiac, but I'm none too sure about that.

The BBC detective series Death in Paradise makes Guadeloupe a huge attraction, but it poured with rain the day we were there, so we saw very little. At least no one died!

In the past, the Caribbean’s main exports were sugar, rum, coconuts, cacao, and bananas. There are still a lot of banana plantations, and we learnt a little about how they are grown and harvested. All things 'banana' were for sale in the markets, including banana soap and a banana ketchup, which I really cannot recommend!

Christopher Columbus landed on the shores of the Bahamas in 1492, looking for a new way to the East Indies to benefit from the lucrative spice trade. It may not have been where he expected to be, but he recognised the riches of the region and exploited both the natural resources and the native population. This continued for centuries, making massive fortunes for planters, manufacturers, and traders in Europe, until the slave trade was finally abolished in the mid-nineteenth century.

We enjoyed our trip around the Caribbean and have lots of memories to look back on. I shall enjoy reading about what you all get up to in your Caribbean themed meetings. There are plenty of topics to choose from and a fruit punch never goes amiss – with or without the rum!

If you’ve visited the Caribbean or have 'explored' it in an NWR meeting, please email office@nwr.org.uk to share it with our members – your story could be in the next edition of the mag!

Born around 1700, Irishborn Anne Bonny moved to Barbados with her husband, where she became the lover of infamous pirate Calico Jack. She ran away with him, disguising herself as a man so that she could sail alongside him.

It was on board his ship that she met Mary Read. English-born Read had been dressing as a boy in order to join the military, and was disguised as a male sailor when her ship was captured by pirates. Instead of fighting them, Read joined them, and ended up in Calico Jack's crew. The two women were captured by pirate hunters and arrested in 1720 – although both women escaped execution by claiming to be pregnant.

THE BIG READ

Read all about it!

The Big Read is underway, and several groups have submitted reviews of the books they loved – and those they didn’t quite so much…

Deepings group

Educated by Tara Westover

It is not unusual for books to divide opinion, but this one did so fairly spectacularly with ‘out of 10’ ratings varying from 0 – ‘tedious - gave up on it’ – to 9.0 – ‘enthralling, couldn’t put it down’. Others in our group of 12 gave it a score of everything in between.

In Educated, Tara recounts overcoming extreme abuse and neglect in childhood and adolescence at the hands of her parents and brothers in her survivalist Mormon family by going against her anti-education parents to go to college and later to Cambridge University. She emphasises the importance of education in enlarging her world; education liberates her mind but she loses her family in the process. It is an extraordinary tale of survival against the odds and so, perhaps, risks accusations of lack of veracity.

This was a main factor for our group in dividing opinion. Some doubted if what Tara wrote was true – or if there was some truth, that it had been exaggerated. "If it was a novel, it would be utterly unbelievable," said one member. On the other hand, many found Educated to be a courageous, painfully honest, extraordinary account of surviving an appallingly abusive early life. There were several factors playing a part in how the group experienced this book. One was the perceived genre, with some deciding early on in their reading that this was going

to be just another one of those ‘misery porn’ survivor stories and so either abandoning it or continuing with it but with suspended belief that anything so truly shocking could be true. The details of how the family lived and how they behaved towards one another was hard to read. The madness of the father, the lack of protection by the mother and the extreme cruelty of brother Shawn were hard to believe. This added to the views of some of the group that it couldn’t have really happened.

Others held the view that, unfortunately, the truth is that the worst abuse occurs within families and only too often goes unreported; terrible things happen, often ‘hidden in plain sight’. Why didn’t anyone do anything? Because people don’t. They fear the abuser(s), are reluctant to get involved and justify a lack of intervention by labelling families ‘odd’ or ‘different'.

Another issue was around memory; how could Tara accurately recall all that detail? She had kept a journal and, since writing the book, her accounts have been supported by extended family members and by some of her siblings. In recent interviews with Tara’s parents, they deny the abuse; Tara’s mother has written a book in which she denies the truth of Tara’s account of their life as a family. Depending on the group’s view of Educated, and, more particularly, of the awful realities of domestic abuse, the response to that was either "well, she would say that wouldn’t she?" or, "I thought the

whole thing was a bit far-fetched."

Most of the group felt that the book was well-written with wonderful descriptions of the mountainous Idaho region but several felt it took too long to get going and was too long. Some who had abandoned the book early on said "life’s too short"! This compared to those who found it a compelling read. For them, important themes emerged such as the shocking treatment of females by males throughout history; how girls are treated today, and how abusive families escape intervention.

While the experiences Tara recounts are, for some, too appalling and extreme to contemplate, for many of our group, Tara’s obvious love and regard for her family, despite all she endured, and her need to be loved in return, together with the lack of self-pity in her story, adds to their belief in the honesty of the story she told.

We concluded, still divided but with the benefit of having seen the book from several perspectives, respecting each other’s views and acknowledging yet again, how stories can mean something different to each person who reads them.

Wantage group

Girl with a Pearl Earring

by Tracy Chevalier

Against a black background, a young wide-eyed girl, in yellow and blue hair-covering and wearing a light-catching pearl earring, looks over her shoulder at us. In her Introduction, the author tells us of her long-term enchantment with Vermeer’s painting, ‘Girl with a Pearl Earring’. She sees that the sitter’s gaze is of course directed at the painter! What is she feeling? This enigma inspired Tracy Chevalier to write the story of Griet, in the way Vermeer painted –“spare, focused, stripped down to the essentials”.

Wrenched from her parents and heartbroken sister Agnes, 16-yearold Griet goes to work as a maid in the Vermeer household. She realises that one of the children – Cornelia – will be a handful, and firmly tries to avoid trouble, as she does with their distant, pregnant mother, Catharina, and the unfriendly housekeeper, Tanneke. Griet focuses on her work, knowing she will return home on Sundays. She cleans her master’s studio carefully, with particular concern for his painting and the arranged still life; later, she demonstrates a fine understanding of such arrangements, to Vermeer’s surprise and his benefit.

At first, she sees little of him,

though we soon realise she is falling under his spell. While all his family are subject to respect for him, she is particularly impressionable and vulnerable in her new world. Although revering him, she feels uncomfortable when he is near, as when he covers her in his black robe, so that she can see how the camera obscura helps him view an image; and when he places his hand on hers to help her grind a colour.

We see how Vermeer manipulates Griet, increasingly creating situations which demand secrecy and support from her, while she still needs to fit in work she was engaged to do. She even feigns illness to grind his colours. She is happy helping him, learning about his work; she becomes more observant: white, for example, is not simply white, it comprises many colours, as in a cloud – or a pearl.

Griet’s contact with others outside her workplace is limited, and troubled. Her parents feel they have lost her. Her sister dies and Griet is left with the memory of her avoidance of Agnes in the marketplace. Her brother Frans, following his father as a tile-making apprentice, finds life tough. His warm relationship with her is painted on the tile which Griet’s father gave her when she left home. Frans sees in her face how much she cares for her master.

Pieter, the butcher’s son is handsome, very caring and wants to marry her. He has her parents’ approval, while they also have “hunger for meat”. Griet is “caught between” her master and Pieter.

While the story evolves at an easy pace, the author keeps the reader enthralled. There are wonderful descriptions to follow, along with page-turning drama – but spoilers are to be avoided!

Similar to the importance of space within a painting, Tracy Chevalier creates spaces to pause in the text; extra breathing space is further provided by sections heading each year involved: 1664 to 1666 and 1676. We all loved reading Girl with a Pearl Earring; importantly, one of us expressed concern about the way Vermeer was presented, which seems to reflect the reverence we ourselves have for him today.

Tulip Fever by Deborah Moggach

This is a cleverly constructed and well researched page-turner, which produced a lively group discussion. It is a story set in Amsterdam of the mid-1630s: a time of great civic pride due to its high status as a trading port. The Dutch also celebrated their reclamation of land from the sea, their rich soil producing the finest tulip bulbs. This is the time of 'tulipmania', when men of varying incomes risked their futures to buy tulip bulbs – Semper Augustus being the most beautiful and expensive: white streaked with red, as in Jan van Heem’s 1645 painting ‘Vase of Flowers’.

The few characters, on whom generally short chapters focus, represent differing aspects of the time: Cornelis is a rich, elderly merchant who adores Sophia, although after three years of marriage, there is still no heir. Sophia, his young, beautiful and dutiful wife, saved her family from penury by marrying Cornelis.

Jan is the young painter of their portrait, engaged to capture and preserve the merchant’s high status and achievements, and his wife’s beauty. The consequent situation, Sophia warns her husband, “is dangerous.” Yes!

While posing, Cornelis, a strict Calvinist, pontificates about religion, art, their great city, and

THE BIG READ

tulipmania, the “madness that has gripped us,” and boasts of his blessed wife’s loving attentions. Jan catches Sophia’s eye and snickers. She shares a complicit smile and, when he asks her husband to stop talking as he is painting his mouth, Sophia starts to laugh. Adjusting her skirt, Jan murmurs, “A woman like you deserves to be happy.”

Shocked by his arrogance and outspokenness, she never wants to see him again. However, she changes her mind following a particularly one-sided lovemaking with her husband – the author making incompatibility clear as Cornelis urges his “little soldier” to “fire the cannons!”

How aware we are that we live and love in such a contrasting time of women’s ongoing progress towards equality. We discussed Tulip Fever in the light of recent changes which have realised various freedoms: how birth control, our homes, relationships, transport and work opportunities have evolved. We are happy to have embraced these advances, while valuing the roles men have played in our lives, including certain financial support.

We also remembered the roles of our mothers, some of whom had to give up careers to marry; and we shared concern for daughters combining fulltime work and domestic roles, while we appreciated men’s increasing willingness to share responsibilities.

Tulip Fever records great inequality between characters, who each have their role to play, alongside dreams and desires.

Crookes Sheffield group

We had a meeting to share our opinions on books for The Big Read. Our choice was The Children Act by Ian McEwan, closely followed by Pull Of The Stars by Emma Donoghue. We are looking forward to the announcement of the winner nationally.

It can be read as a morality tale; each chapter is preceded by a wise, brief and relevant quotation, as from The Bible, Leonardo da Vinci and, mostly, Thomas Catz [1632, before tulipmania, 1634-7].

One of us thought that Cornelis’ portrait, as seen in the film of the book, resembled one by Frans Hals; and, also, that the acted painter resembled the young Rembrandt. Sophia in blue, reading a letter from Jan, while lit by window light, reminded us of ‘Woman Reading a Letter’ by Vermeer [1650].

“Trust not to appearances” [Catz] precedes the first chapter: “Sophia”. Chapters in her name are the only ones written in first person, inviting empathy. She begins with a significant reflection: she lives in the present; she has “not yet died and been reborn. … In my end is my beginning”. Accepting her situation gratefully, her time in the company of superstitious Maria, the young housekeeper, leads to a period of great interdependence. Maria is besotted with Willem their fishmonger, but fate intervenes for her, too, as through a misunderstanding, he disappears, leaving her pregnant. Their stories provide a sub-plot, while Maria’s also interweaves with Sophia’s –lies and deception abound!

Oh what a tangled web is woven. Sophia and Jan are mutually enchanted. When she tells Cornelis she is unworthy of him, he assures her she is “my joy and my life”. Sophia, however, is “blindly happy” elsewhere. Jan

invests in tulip bulbs, reflecting, “All life is a gamble”. Maria approaches her baby’s birth, while needing to keep her job. Where is Willem? Will these evolving dilemmas be resolved?

The author keeps the pace going right to her neat ending. We realised that Deboragh Moggach provides us with a marvellous story, rather than in-depth character studies. One of us loved reading Tulip Fever, enjoying it even more than Girl with a Pearl Earring.

Photo: Sarah Noltner on Unsplash

Kenton Group

Tulip Fever by Deborah

Moggach,

The Children Act by Ian

McEwan,

The Girl with a Pearl Earring by

Tracy Chevalier

The first one was popular as we found it to be a well written story of the tulip mania in Amsterdam with good characters, setting, atmosphere, detail and story. It was easy to read and we liked the references to the Dutch artists and the prints actually contained in the book which referenced the actual situations in the story.However, we felt the quotations at the beginning of each chapter unnecessary.

The Children Act was an enlightenment into the difficulties of being part of the judicial system and the emotional conflicts involved. It was intriguing and wellresearched and the title is quite apt considering what unfolds in the book. It was easy to read and flowed and, interestingly these days, only had 200 or so pages.

The Girl with a Pearl Earring was a well written, detailed account of the life of a servant in a Dutch household and the social mores of the time. It was atmospheric and popular with our group. We like this author anyway.

MEMBERS’ CORNER

Let’s take a look at some of your adventures over the last few months

Globetrotters

It was around the time of the pandemic that the Leighton Buzzard NWR Facebook page began to take shape. It was an essential tool to keep us connected during those dark, isolating months. Once lockdown was over and our freedom to travel was restored, to give us all a lift some members started to post photos of outings they had made and interesting places they had visited. Soon, and with a little push of encouragement from Heather, our then LO, it grew into a veritable travelogue of striking views, and tempting locations for one’s own future travel adventures. Now, barely a week goes by without news of another trip to some corner of the globe, either nearby or very far away, for exciting exploration or just pure relaxation.

Cornish theatricals

The Truro group recently enjoyed a backstage tour of our local Cornwall Playhouse Theatre. Our guide, Sam, was very informative and responded to our many questions. The theatre's planned closure for a two-year refurbishment programme was extended due to the pandemic but the eventual reopening with ‘Fishermens' Friends’ was a joyous occasion. Many of us attend shows regularly and love the warm and

Looking back over the many posts of 2023, it is staggering to see how much ground has been covered, from places scattered around Great Britain, such as Newquay, Flamborough Head, Lindisfarne and Margate, to such farflung destinations as Vietnam, South Africa, Canada and India. Two of our members even visited New Zealand at the same time! Getting around involved a variety of means too – river cruising along the Nile, train travel across Europe, and walking in Barbados. It will be fascinating to see which countries will be visited by our globetrotting members in 2024...

Hilary Bates, Leighton Buzzard group

welcoming atmosphere, as do the visiting performers apparently.

Jean Anderson, Truro group (LO)

Christmas crafting

The Diss group had their December meeting at a member's house and 10 members attended. We made Christmas tags for presents and had a collection of old Christmas cards, ribbons, scissors, pastes and cut out shapes. We all succeeded in producing a number of tags ahead of our Epiphany meal with partners in January.

Bronwen Moran, Diss group

Festive fun

This photo is of Coventry group enjoying their Christmas social at our member June’s house. We thank her for her hospitality every Christmas. There are a few of us missing, but most of us were there. In January we visited our local community library, the Earlsdon Carnegie Community Library and they told us about how they had set it up as a volunteer-run library after the Council had threatened to close some libraries, to make cutbacks. They are a very hard-working and inspirational group of people and are a welcoming focus for people in the community, with clubs, events and a warm space for people to drop in and have a cuppa.

Anne Thompson, Coventry group (LO)

Three Horizons

This evocative piece of creative writing was sent in by Jan Ellen from Sheffield Fulwood group

Far away east are hills, trees, small hints of civilisation: smoke; steam; chimneys; the motorway and cars; lorries. A church or two, with the town hall, push upwards, often piercing cloud or interrupting the moon. Colours change with the season. Occasionally there's just white and black relieved by the red of cranes building a renewed city. Soft greens will take over in the spring banishing the black in sunshine. The greens harden into summer and autumn. Brief glimpses of russets appear before black triumphs again. Movement is given by birds, pigeons released from lofts, crows but few small birds. Where have the sparrows gone? Cars speed across the viaduct, never to be caught by lorries. At dawn an invisible small bird sings but magpies and crows eventually drown out the sweet harmony. Mornings are heralded by the chiming of the town hall clock, eight, then nine, ten, counting the hours until it is silenced half a day later. A huge sky tops this horizon. Pale yellow hints at imminent sunrise. The sun journeys up from the far south-east in the winter. By late June it's far to the northeast, rising almost out of sight again. The sky reflects the glorious colours of the light it sheds; even through clouds sometimes the silver lining shows. On darker days this horizon can be hidden, enveloped in cloud, rain, fog but, as the sun moves westward, an occasional

Sheffield is the fabulous venue for our National Conference on 14 September!

Find out more and book tickets at nwr.org.uk/events/nwr-2024-nationalconference-sheffield/

rainbow – or two – brightens the horizon, stretching a blessing across the city.

Below, tall hotels, flats, windows glinting, hinting at life within. Light glows from some, the dull yellow orange of LEDs or the blues, reds, greens of someone's celebrations, then some flickering grey blues are clues perhaps to a television game show. Silver sunlight reflects blindingly from glass or a wet, frosty roof. Movement can sometimes be detected here, a mother positioning a pram on her balcony, a sneaky smoker on his balcony, new arrivals surveying the scene, shadowy figures preparing food, a dog leaping with demanding barks. The blocks give us more colour from stained white through ochre to brick red. Blue cladding is fast disappearing though, hidden initially by scaffolding and then replaced by pristine peach. Green and silver balconies blanket stitch this horizon together but it splits open to make way for roads and older dwellings.

The third horizon gentles its way across the lower view. It doesn't intrude but asserts its presence by its interesting variety. No longer are there squares and blocks but the far curves of the hills are copied by the near curves of the roads and paths, the lawns in the gardens and the weaving of people intent on living their lives. Many trees inhabit this horizon and the details of their lives are visible to those who look and watch. Bare branches

prevail in winter – few evergreens here –but in spring the fuzz of newly wakened leaf growth becomes apparent. The pinks of blossom dominate for all too short a time, quickly scattering their largesse of pastel on to pavements before the unfurling leaves burst on the eyes with their fresh vibrant greens. A further light and colour show erupts in the autumn giving oranges, reds, browns before, in their turn, they fall to rustle underfoot. More colour is offered by the traffic. The 'Six in the City' bus is the brightest pink and sky blue coaches whizz students off to their hidden studies. The number 30 gives burnt orange and the white, blue and mauve of the regular buses sweep through the splits to disappear east or west and, once an hour, a dirty white one heads south. The trams snake across this horizon too bringing glimpses of dancing pink unicorns, apple greens, reds and blues to keep interest ticking over. Here flocks of pigeons sweep past, their grey underbellies or shimmering, speckled wings revealed in close up. Sometimes, at summer dusk, the black shapes of bats chasing their suppers flit so rapidly past the window as to be almost invisible. But this horizon holds most interest in the people who inhabit it; their musical chatter, shouts, songs and whistles make the symphony of the life revealed from this window a pleasure to hear and contemplate.

Photo: Harrison Qi on Unsplash

Poetry corner

Nicky Wheeliker of Rotherham group submitted this fabulous poem, Lost Consonants

I have been living lately in the land of lost consonants; sibilants and softer sounds endangered, missing in action, almost driven to extinction, by cochlear impairment. Decades spent at work in lofty rooms echoing with young and high-pitched voices, along with passing years, have done their worst. No subtitles or speech bubbles appear to aid me in my real life conversations. Masks and perspex screens shield from covid and regrettably from comprehension. Faces which do not face me mute the sound, creating a fog of aural imperception. So wit and wisdom often pass me by, along with all too vital information; exclude me from the loop of news and gossip. I dread the crackly phone, the foreign accent, traffic noise, accursed background music, and crowded places; all are trials to me.

But now a transformation has occurred, thanks to the miracle of modern tech. I hear again, though several jigsaw pieces are lacking still; but fewer blank looks follow while my poor brain strives hard to fill the gaps; less repetition, more communication; lower volume needed (please don't shout!). My keyboard clatters, feet drum on the floor, the heating pipes beat out a weird tattoo I even hear the creaking of my knees every time I climb the stairs, and then, downstairs my phone rings, so I answer with two taps on my ear! How strange is that? Now noises, so long lost to me, abound, In my rediscovered world of sound.

The write stuff

St Albans group set themselves the challenge of creating short stories that all featured the same six words. Can you spot what those words were?

Mrs Hurricane was taking her usual evening stroll round the village at sunset. Nothing ever changes, she thought, as she spied the seagull sitting on top of the statue to their past MP, Sir Winston Churchill, in his top hat. She passed the antique shop and saw in the window a very old candlestick, which brought back memories of her granny. She then wandered on homeward, thinking of her cup of chai that she would drink by her cosy fireside.

We espied the lady in her top hat drinking chai looking out to the becalming sea and the sunset when a seagull swooped down and knocked her flying. Taking a candlestick, we hurried to her aid before the hurricane commenced.

Looking in vain for the sunset, she huddled over the candlestick, warming her hands round her mug of chai, as the hurricane continued to blow so fiercely that her father's top hat was blown out of the door and away into the sky, mirroring the flight of the seagull overhead.

There was a man who had a cow Which learnt to dance, I don’t know how Perhaps it was because of that The farmer called his cow Tophat

And this Tophat was very clever She could dance in any weather Thunder, lightning, heavy rain

In memoriam

Wendy Early, Seaford 5 group

Cath Murphy, Culcheth group

Even in a hurricane

She danced from sunrise to sunset

And soon became the family pet

She also had a party trick

Of dancing with a candlestick

But Tophat wasn’t just a freak

The farmer milked her every week

Her milk was creamy, which was why

It made the most delicious chai

Now Tophat also had a brother

And they were very like each other

Not that he could dance

No chance

His special talent was to fly

Which maybe was the reason why

The farmer named his clever bull

Yes, you’ve guessed, it was seagull!

It’s nearly sunset and at Blackpool

Pleasure Beach the lonely mime artist stands very still with his top hat in one hand and the other hand on the iconic ‘laughing policeman’ as he watches the dwindling crowds.

An elderly lady comes and sits on the bench opposite him. Has she noticed me he wonders??

Apparently not because she doesn’t look across to where he stands, instead nonchalantly opens her hold-all and he spots a candlestick sticking out of it.

She then brings out a thermos from which she pours some piping hot

Rosemary Thompson, Chesterfield group

liquid into a glittering mug. He watches the vapour rise and wafts of aromatic chai tingle his nostrils. He realises just how thirsty he is.

He sniffs it longingly. Will he startle her if he breaks his pose? But just as he breaks his pose to step forward to grab her mug, a huge seagull swoops down at hurricane speed and makes a grab for the shiny object. The mug is knocked straight out of her hand and the chai spills out on the ground. What a sad end to his day he reflects.

As I strolled along the seafront at sunset, I bought a bag of chips from the best chippy on the promenade. No sooner had I sat on a bench to take in the ocean view – a seagull swooped down and swiped a beakful of chips straight out of the tray.

Continuing my meander I passed by the pier, which is currently hosting a circus. The poster shows clowns, acrobats and the Ring Master wearing a fancy red tailcoat and a tall top hat.

Further along, there is an artisan cafe advertising chai tea –whatever that is – with prices as ridiculous as the names! I'll be quite happy with a proper Tetley brew and a Jammie Dodger (or two) when I get home.

Unfortunately though, when I got home, I flicked the lights on and they tripped. Couldn't find a candlestick, but I did find an old hurricane lamp that would allow me to see in the dark for the rest of the evening. I must call an electrician in the morning.

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A top-hatted seagull named Kai At sunset, enjoyed sipping chai. A hurricane blew, A candlestick flew, And knocked Kai right out of the sky. Poor Kai.

I'm sitting on the pier in Key West watching a glorious sunset while sipping a chai tea and eating a cheese sandwich. There's a hungry seagull hovering next to me but so far it hasn't tried to grab the sandwich. Fortunately, it's only June so no need to worry about hurricane season.

The pier has a party atmosphere at night and attracts quite an eccentric crowd of people. I spot one elderly man wearing a top hat and another man seems to be carrying a candlestick, possibly purchased from one of the nearby antique stalls. Strange – but this is the kind of place where nothing surprises you!

Brighton beach basked in the afterglow of the sunset. A forlorn seagull hovered hopefully by the last remaining customers of The Candlestick Tearoom – self-proclaimed ‘Chai capital of the world’.

Johnny Hurricane pulled up the collar of his coat against the sudden gust of wind and sauntered past the flickering neon lights of the Top Hat nightclub, out into the darkness.

The hurricane had passed. A blood-red sunset filled the horizon over the Indian Ocean. The seagulls were back squawking on the debris-strewn beach. Unthinkingly she began to tidy the mess on the bedroom floor; so many little pieces: bits of Monopoly, chance cards and the top hat; a king, rooks and pawns; Cluedo’s lead piping and candlestick; a broken Meccano model.

She should drink sweet tea for shock. Chai would be good, perhaps something stronger. But, overcome with weariness she set aright an upturned chair on the veranda and sat down to wait. Would he come home?