mental health
Does My Child Have Anxiety? It’s normal for kids to have bouts of fear—but how can you tell when it’s anxiety? By Stacey Feintuch
K
ids of all ages worry. Your baby cries when you leave the room. Your toddler may fear clowns. Separation anxiety may make your preschooler cry. Your elementary schooler may have a stomachache on the day of a spelling test. Middle schoolers may be nervous about making a presentation in front of their virtual or in-person class. Your high schooler may worry about getting a pimple. Children have bouts of fears, worries, and anxiety at some point; these are totally normal feelings. “If you don’t have a range of emotions, that’s abnormal,” says Joel Friedman, Ph.D., clinical director at the Center for Family Guidance in Marlton, NJ. Normal childhood anxieties from new people, places, and experiences come and go throughout a child’s life. They need time to learn about, work with, and get comfortable with something new. “Kids are resilient,” says Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., a New York City-based licensed clinical neuropsychologist, teaching faculty member at Columbia University’s Teachers College, and founder and clinical director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services, P.C. “They’re able to shake off a lot of stuff.” Some kids ask a lot of questions when they’re anxious.
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May 2021 | nymetroparents.com
Others figure things out on their own, which can have negative consequences. “Children often ‘fill in the blanks’ with assumptions that can trigger anxious feelings,” says Haley Neidich, LCSW, a Connecticut-based psychotherapist.
SignS of Child Anxiety It can be difficult for parents to admit when their child has a problem, Dr. Hafeez says. Usually, though, it will be so obvious that you can’t ignore it. “You have to pay close attention to the signs and know when it’s time to get help,” she says. “Most of us are reluctant to admit that there is a problem. But on some level, we know.” Here are some signs of when to worry about child anxiety: • tendency to worry about what can go wrong in any scenario • avoidance of specific activities, situations, or people • persistent stress despite an adult’s reassurance • trouble sleeping at night, insisting on sleeping with parents, or waking up with bad dreams • fears or worries that interfere with normal daily activities and are difficult to control • changes in appetite
