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Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close: Personal- and National-Level Trauma in Children Andrew Han The Depiction of Attachment Theory and SES in Lady Bird
The Depiction of Attachment Theory and SES in Lady Bird Andrew Han
The film Lady Bird follows the titular character whose real name is Christine McPherson, but insists on being called “Lady Bird,” as she navigates the trials and tribulations of her senior year of high school in 2002 Sacramento. Between the tensions with her best friend Julie, romantic relationships, and the pressures of high school social hierarchies, Lady Bird is left to balance the typical challenges of adolescence. However, despite these issues appearing throughout the movie, the main relationship that the film explores is that of Lady Bird and her mother, Marion. Although Lady Bird detests her mother’s opinionated and strong-willed personality, the audience comes to find out that Lady Bird embodies more of her mother’s characteristics than she realizes. During one of many mother-daughter arguments throughout the film, Marion scolds Lady Bird for getting suspended from school, highlighting her daughter’s inability to appreciate the financial sacrifices her parents made to get her into a private high school. This is one of many strained interactions between Lady Bird and Marion that demonstrates the ways in which parent-child conflicts increase when children become adolescents and strive for emotional autonomy, or the ability to have control over one’s life and make decisions (Silverberg & Steinberg, 1987; Steinberg, 2001). However, as Lady Bird concludes, the audience and Lady Bird realize that familial discord, although aggravating, is often a result of love. The film reminds the audience of the conflicting and powerful feelings that families invoke; while many adolescents are desperate to leave home, they are often not developmentally ready to fully let go. In order to better understand the depiction of familial relationships in Lady Bird, this paper explores the attachment behaviors that shape who children become, while also examining how ecological factors (such as socioeconomic status, or SES) can impact them.
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Attachment Theories and Lady Bird and Marion’s Relationship
Often, adolescents’ physical and mental health can partly be explained by their parents, who act as role models for socialization (i.e., the process of learning how to behave in an appropriate manner), help to mitigate their risky behaviors, and are the primary supporters of their financial resources (Repetti, Robles, & Reynolds, 2011; Repetti, Taylor, & Seeman, 2002). In the case of Lady Bird, many have argued that Marion acts as a negative role model for Lady Bird’s socialization, as there are multiple examples of her seeming unengaged with and unresponsive to Lady Bird’s needs (Liza, 2018). Although Marion’s comments can come off as harsh and often unprovoked, viewing their relationship through the lens of attachment theory clarifies that the true reason for her behavior is Marion’s fear of Lady Bird’s impending independence. John Bolby’s attachment theory (1969, 1980) posits that children’s social and personal development are often a result of how readily they have their needs met by their caregivers. Thus, attachment theory explains not only how child-caregiver relationships are formed, but also how early childhood attachment can provide the underlying basis for future relationship styles and communication patterns (Allen, Hauser, & Borman-Spurrell, 1996). In Lady Bird’s case, her often inconsistent social behaviors are influenced by her upbringing, in that Lady Bird’s needs weren’t always sensitively or consistently met, potentially impacting the way she expects others to love and care for her as a result. An example of this is evident in Lady Bird’s attachment style, which can be identified as insecure-ambivalent. In a well-known test of attachment known as the Strange Situation, Mary Ainsworth (1978) found that securely-attached infants use their responsive and sensitive caregivers as safe bases to explore the world from, thus creating the foundation of a child’s ability to maintain adult relationships. However, insecure-ambivalent infants tend to be clingy when exploring with their caregivers, extremely upset by the caregiver’s departure, and ambivalent upon their return (Ainsworth, 1978). Even though attachment theory was originally postulated for infants, it has been thoroughly explored in adolescence as insecure-ambivalent attachment in adolescence has implications for subsequent psychosocial development, where formation of peer relationships is considered a crucial to development (Allen, Moore, Kuperminc, & Bell, 2008). Mothers of insecure-ambivalent children are often described as inconsistently responsive, which parallels Marion’s responsiveness to her daughter’s needs through her vacillation between attentiveness to Lady Bird to then becoming completely emotionally unavailable. For example, Marion supports a tearful Lady Bird when she loses her virginity to a boy she liked who lied about the status of his sexual history, but when Lady Bird struggles to fit in her prom dress, Marion crudely responds, “Well, I suggested you not have that second helping of pasta” (Rudin, Bush, & O’Neill, 2017). Marion’s inconsistent support for her daughter may result in Lady Bird lacking the security to appropriately understand and handle relationships with others. For example, Lady Bird begins to hang out with a popular girl at her school and date a bad boy, ultimately ignoring her best
friend, Julie, even though she is the only one who gives Lady Bird the social and emotional support she needs. Thus, one can see how Lady Bird’s relationship with her mother influences her inability to form appropriate relationships throughout the film (Davies, Woitach, Winter, & Cummings, 2009; Eisenberg & Eggum, 2009). Those with insecure-ambivalent attachment styles also report more self-doubt, feelings of being underappreciated, and feeling as though others are less willing to commit to them, all of which can be seen in Lady Bird’s character (Hazan & Shaver, 1987). Lady Bird often doubts herself and feels misunderstood, as she romanticizes a future where she can live on the East Coast and escape Sacramento, where she has poor grades and few friends. She also finds herself more willing to commit to relationships than her exes are, such as Danny, who was caught kissing another boy, and Kyle, whose overly lax demeanor clashes with Lady Bird’s impassioned personality. Insecure-ambivalent attachment in infants can be reflected during adolescence as the inability to get one’s needs met by others sets negative expectations of oneself, possibly leading to less self-worth that is closely linked with depression and other internalizing problems (Allen et al., 2008). Those with insecure-ambivalent attachments report more self-conscious anxiety and low social self-esteem, which is apparent in Lady Bird’s fears of being perceived as poor and living on the “wrong side of the tracks” (Hazan & Shaver, 1987; Feeney & Noller, 1990; Rudin et al., 2017). Furthermore, having an insecure-ambivalent attachment style in adolescence is a considerable predictor of depression and behavior problems, which are evident in Lady Bird’s disruptive behaviors (e.g., when she vandalizes a school nun’s car and gets suspended from school; Kobak, Sudler & Gamble, 1991). Thus, Lady Bird ends up depicting much of Bowlby’s (1969, 1980) attachment theory, which can contextualize the central characters’ temperamental mother-daughter relationship for the audience, as well as explain how many of Lady Bird’s behaviors and insecurities are rooted in her mother’s inconsistent support for her throughout the film.
Impact of SES on Family Relationships
Although Marion’s parenting style can explain part of Lady Bird’s behaviors throughout the film, additional ecological factors also influence the dynamic between Lady Bird and her mother. Longitudinal studies have identified several factors that impact styles of attachment, the most central of which includes SES (Lyons-Ruth, 1996). Even though Marion may be harsh on Lady Bird, the film’s protagonist tends to be naive when it comes to understanding the financial and mental burdens that her family is undergoing as a result of financing her private school education. For example, when Lady Bird discovers that her father has been struggling with depression for years without her knowing, it is apparent to the audience that Lady Bird was so invested in her own issues that she inadvertently ignored the needs of those around her. Research has also found that the amount of time a parent spends working results in less time with their children, less academic support, and less time for relationship development (Vernon-Feagans, Willoughby, & Garrett-Peters, 2016)). Additionally, parents with inconsistent working hours and financial restraints often have less time to spend with their children (Vernon-Feagans et al., 2016). While many parents are forced to work long hours, being working-class and often having inconsistent hours (as Marion does through her job as a nurse) hinders the mother-daughter dynamic in Lady Bird as well. Since Marion has to work overtime to provide for her family, she cannot always be there for her daughter’s biggest moments, such as Lady Bird’s school dance. Unlike her peers, Lady Bird does not have her own car or cell phone, and as an adolescent whose identity is based largely on social comparison (Ryan, 2001), she resents her socioeconomic status greatly. This leads Lady Bird to lie about her residential status when she tells the popular girl at her school that she lives in a big blue house in the more affluent part of the community. Furthermore, research shows that, due to the stress levels that lower-SES families experience, some parents from low-SES households are more likely to utilize direct control parenting practices to ensure order and obedience (e.g., setting a strict rules; Borstein, 2002; Steinberg, 2001). In the film, Marion places high and often unrealistic demands on Lady Bird, and is inconsistently responsive to her emotional needs, such as when Marion turns off the radio when Lady Bird wants to listen to music. It is behaviors like these that may lead some audiences to view Marion as overly-critical and unengaged, but it is important to highlight that Lady Bird’s father was recently laid off, forcing Marion to become the primary breadwinner of the household. It has also been found that financial distress presents more stressors for low-SES caregivers than high-SES caregivers, and low-SES caregivers are less likely to employ inductive discipline strategies, such as providing explanations for inappropriate behaviors, and thus resort to more punitive parenting practices (McLoyd, 1990). While Marion attempts to practice “tough love” with Lady Bird to impress on Lady Bird the financial investment of her education, Lady Bird believes that her mother is continuously attacking her. The stakes of their relationship are inevitably high, as those in lower-SES households are often subjected to circumstances that more privileged families do not have to consider. Marion is all too aware that her family is not rich, given that she tells Lady Bird that she needs to hang her clothes and avoid wrinkles so the kids at school do not think she’s poor. While this is perceived by Lady Bird as a moment where her mother fails to ask her about her personal life, it showcases Marion’s awareness of her family’s financial circumstance and her attempts to guard Lady Bird from ridicule and embarrassment. This also demonstrates how lowSES caregivers are more concerned with their child’s ability to conform to societal expectations of socioeconomic status, likely because they are aware of the social stigma it carries (Bornstein, 2002). However, it is important to note that although many lowSES caregivers face these obstacles, not all do and parenting
SES caregivers face these obstacles, not all do and parenting practices in households, regardless of SES, have many individual differences. Taken together, these ecological factors provide contextualization for Marion’s stringent parenting, as she is presented with financial stressors that strain her relationship with Lady Bird in a way that higher-SES parents do not endure. Conclusion Lady Bird was lauded because of the complexity with which it explored the relationship between a mother and her daughter. With deeper analysis, it becomes clear that this film analyzes how several factors, both within and outside of the family, can complicate how love is expressed. After all, the nuances of familial relationships cannot be reduced to clear cut categories, and reducing Marion to labels such as “harsh” or “cold” minimizes the ways in which she, like Lady Bird, is growing as a person and experiencing financial and emotional hardship. If anything, this film highlights how parental love can be expressed in unconventional and implicit ways, especially in families experiencing external ecological pressures. For example, after a period in which Marion refuses to speak to Lady Bird before she leaves for college, Lady Bird’s father reveals to her that Marion has written letter after letter to her, which he then collects and places in her suitcase. While Marion was unable to physically express her feelings to her daughter, it is clear that her affection is present. In one of the early scenes of the film, when reading Lady Bird’s college application essay, her principal notes how her love for Sacramento and her family is clear in her writing even though she spends most of the film complaining about it. Her principal even tells her, “Don’t you think maybe that they’re the same thing? Love and attention?” opening audiences to the thesis statement of the film: attention is a form of love (Rudin et al). After all, Marion, despite being what many would call inconsistent and harsh, does constantly pay attention, even if it might be perceived as unkind or overbearing. At the end of the film, Lady Bird tearfully calls her mother at school in New York, after leaving home as she wanted to do for so much of the film. She warmly says, “Hey, Mom, did you feel emotional the first time that you drove in Sacramento? I did and I wanted to tell you, but we weren’t really talking… All those bends I’ve known my whole life, and stores, and the whole thing… But I wanted to tell you that I love you. Thank you, I’m… thank you” (Rudin et al). Although the film documents an adolescent girl growing up in Sacramento during the early 2000s, it is truly a comingof-age story for both daughters and mothers as they learn to communicate and understand each other to the best of their capabilities – even when life gives them reasons not to.
References
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Rachel Lim Editor-in-Chief r.lim@nyu.edu
Rachel Lim is a senior in the Applied Psychology undergraduate program, and is one of the Editors-in-Chief of OPUS. Throughout her undergraduate career, Rachel has had the opportunity to gain various research experiences. She was a research assistant at NYU Family Translational Research Group, as well as an intern at the NYU Child Study Center, where she was involved in the development of research protocols for gaining clinical data through Internet-based research methods. Currently, Rachel is a member of the Latino Family Engagement and Language Development (L-FELD) research team, where she works closely with teachers and children in early childhood classrooms in New York City. Through her work at L-FELD, Rachel recently completed her honors thesis, under the mentorship of Dr. Adina Schick, on the role of teachers’ instructional support in early childhood classrooms, and its implications for children’s learning. Rachel is interested in investigating educational policies that support teachers’ professional development, particularly for culturally-competent and high-quality education. Upon graduation, Rachel hopes to continue her involvement in research and education.
Alexa Montemayor Editor-in-Chief am7129@nyu.edu
Alexa Montemayor is one of the Editors-in-Chief of OPUS, where she is publishing a literature review about the effects of familial and community factors on girls’ involvement with the legal system. As a Senior in the Applied Psychology program, Alexa has had the opportunity to work closely with this population through her work on the ROSES (Resilience, Opportunity, Safety, Education, Strength) research team. Her devotion to learning more about alternatives to incarceration led to her further involvement on a secondary project on ROSES. Through this work she analyzes stakeholders’ (e.g., caseworkers, social agencies, parole officers, and court officials and judges) perceptions of girls’ interactions with the legal system. She is also a volunteer in the department of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry at Bellevue Hospital, where she administers admission and discharge screenings to individuals in the in-patient unit. Upon graduation, Alexa will continue to pursue her interest in mental health and will begin a Master’s degree in Social Work at New York University in the Fall of 2020.
Khirad Siddiqui is one of the Editors-in-Chief of OPUS, where she is publishing her second piece, and is also the President of the Applied Psychology Undergraduate Club. A senior in the department, Khirad is passionate about criminal justice reform and worked for two years as a Juvenile Justice Advocate on the ROSES Research Team, where she is now a Peer Supervisor. She also utilized her time on ROSES to work on a separate study called the Girls Justice Initiative, and through that work and her mentorship under Dr. Shabnam Javdani, she formulated and conducted her Honors thesis on parents who file legal allegations against their children. Khirad also works on campus through the Presidential Internship Program, previously interning at the NYU Leadership Initiative and the Graduate School of Arts and Science. She is pleased to announce that upon graduation, she will enroll in a PhD program in Criminology, Law & Society as a Eugene Cota-Robles Fellow at UC, Irvine, where she will study the experiences of incarcerated Muslims, especially on the process of converting to Islam behind bars.
Oana Groza is an Editor-in-Training of OPUS majoring in Global Public Health and Applied Psychology. She has been a part of the Social Inequality and Intergroup Relations Lab team where she codes for and analyzes studies related to group responsibility of injustice and collective memories. She is also a part of the Public Health Policy Lab in CGPH where she investigates social justice issues, products, and policies that cause harm with the goal of providing policymakers and organizations with guidance to improve public health. After completing her undergraduate degree, Oana plans to pursue a Masters in Public Health with a focus in global health and policy. Her interests center around food access and healthcare policy.
Kasane Tonegawa is one of the Editors-in-Training of OPUS and is currently a junior in Applied Psychology with minors in Italian Studies and Sociology. She is interning at DOROT, an organization that works with the older population, in which she visits older adults to help with technology, socialize, and close an intergenerational gap. She is passionate about activism and social justice especially in the areas of mental health stigma and access to mental health coverage. Kasane has been using her experience working as a Resident Assistant and Research Assistant at the Suzuki Lab in order to better understand how to work with people and how to re-conceptualize mental illnesses to reduce stigma. Kasane hopes to be an art therapist and strives to use her passion for social justice to influence her work.
Freya Chen | Communication Director yc3244@nyu.edu
Freya Chen is a freshman in the Applied Psychology Department with a secondary major in Economics. She worked with local charity organizations that help children in poverty in underdeveloped areas in China and advocate social justices for underrepresented groups. She is interested in mental health for women and other underrepresented groups and hopes to research in related areas.
Sydney Liang is one of the Design and Layout Directors of OPUS and a freshman in the Applied Psychology program. She currently volunteers at the Latino Family Engagement and Language Development (L-FELD) lab, where she assists teachers in first grade classrooms. Previously, she did volunteer work to provide aid to the refugee community in Hong Kong. Sydney hopes to further immerse herself in the applied psychology program as she continues to matriculate to NYU.
Grace Park is also one of the Design and Layout co-Directors of OPUS as well as one of the the OPUSzines Creative Directors. She is a freshman in the Applied Psychology program while exploring minors in Computer Science and Studio Art. This summer, Grace plans to volunteer at a North Korean Refugee program in South Korea in which she hopes to use her graphic and creative design skills to help spread awareness to the effort. Grace hopes to continue exploring different fields at NYU and chasing creatively stimulating ideas.
Francesca Bottazzi is a senior staff writer for OPUS, publishing her first piece in this journal. A soon-to-be graduating senior in Applied Psychology through Steinhardt, she has developed a vested interest in mental health, development, and research. She has volunteered at NYU’s LFELD research team for the past two years where she has worked as an assistant within classroom settings, and studied the socio-cultural context of children’s development and learning within both home and school contexts. Though unsure of what the future may bring, Francesca is excited for life after graduation, where she hopes to continue doing research and working within communities throughout New York City.
Alain Goulbourne is a graduating senior in the Applied Psychology program, with minors in Creative Writing and German. She is currently a research assistant on the Transitions to Parenthood research team. As part of the Transitions team, she helps to investigate the breastfeeding experiences and supports of first-time mothers in the United States, in order to ultimately improve hospital policy and practice. Having immigrated from the Caribbean to the U.S., Alain is interested in researching adolescence and identity, and also how culture and the feminine identity inform experiences and narratives.
Brianda Hickey is a Contributing Writer of OPUS earning a Bachelor of Science in Applied Psychology. She is also the Vice President and Treasurer of the Applied Psychology Undergraduate (APUG) club. Brianda works as a Research Associate at the Child Mind Institute (CMI) with children who have ADHD and/or autism spectrum disorder under the supervision of Principal Investigator Dr. Adriana Di Martino. In her role at CMI, she administers cognitive assessments, operates an MRI scanner, and coordinates research participant cases. Additionally, since 2017, she has worked as a Research Assistant on Researching Inequity Society Ecologically (RISE) Lab fulfilling roles as a Data Collector and a Data Analyst. After graduating in Spring 2019, she intends to further develop her clinical and research-based skills as a Research Associate at CMI working with children on the autism spectrum.
YiLin Lee | Contributing Writer yilin.lee@nyu.edu
YiLin is a first semester senior in the Applied Psychology program, with a minor in Sociology. She is a member of the Latino Family Engagement and Language Development (L-FELD) lab, volunteering in a kindergarten classroom and conducting children’s assessments. YiLin is also a research intern at MDRC with the Expanding Children’s Early Learning (ExCEL) Network, working primarily on a project that seeks to sustain positive outcomes of preschool programs into children’s formal schooling years. She has worked on the Chinese Families Lab, studying cross-cultural and cross-generational differences in gender socialization and parenting beliefs. In the future, YiLin plans to pursue international education policy in order to better inform education systems in an increasingly globalized world.
Andrew Han | Junior Staff Writer han.andrew@nyu.edu Andrew Han is a junior majoring in Applied Psychology and Global Public Health with a minor in Sociology. He is currently a research assistant for the Center for Research on Culture, Development, and Education (CRCDE), where he analyzes data on how features of the home environment and parent-child interactions impact key skills in early childhood. He is currently conducting an independent project examining the role of ambient noise in the relations between socioeconomic status (SES) and infant play behaviors. In addition, he is an Editorial Assistant for the Journal of Social Work Practice in the Addictions in the Silver School of Social Work. He hopes to continue down a path of research and policy, evaluating how poverty and interpersonal relationships influence early language development.
Michelle Hansen is a senior at New York University majoring in Applied Psychology with a focus on Child and Adolescent Mental Health Studies, and minoring in both Sociology and American Sign Language. In addition to writing for OPUS, Michelle interns at the Child Mind Institute, works with the Researching Inequity in Society Ecologically Lab, and is in the midst of completing her honors thesis on allegations of crime made against youth in residential treatment. She is excited to have her work published in OPUS, and hopes to continue writing in her post-baccalaureate endeavors!
Anastasia Knight | Senior Staff Writer afk307@nyu.edu Anastasia Knight is a senior staff writer for OPUS, and is thrilled to be publishing her second paper in this original journal. A graduating senior in Applied Psychology at New York University, Anastasia is passionate about social justice. When she is not conducting her independent research study, she works as an advocate with NYU ROSES. She is ready for life beyond graduation, and although unsure what the next step will be, is excited to see what the future holds. Finally, she would like to thank her mentor, Alejandro Ganimian, for making this study possible, and the OPUS editors for making it legible.
