The impact of the COVID-19 in children and families in high conflict separation by Dilcio Dantas Guedes

The impact of the COVID-19 in children and families in high conflict separation

by Dilcio Dantas Guedes

This brief essay explores the impact of COVID-19 as a disruptive event on children and families dealing with high conflict separation or divorce, proposing some clinical strategies to enhance the children and families’ psychological immunity to this disruptive event.

Approximately one-third of separated parents have high levels of constant hostility and tension towards the other parent (Anderson, et al., 2010). One study indicated that these experiences could lead to low self-esteem, increased sleep disorders, aggressive behaviors, and academic difficulties for the children (Fergusson, et al., 2014). Not surprisingly, there is an observable increase in demands for treatment of children manifesting aggressiveness, attention deficit, hyperactivity, and somatizations, (Schauder, 2009). For Borelle and Russo (2013), these manifestations are reactions that children develop to cope with their disruptive environments.

After separation, parents often increase their productivity to a faster pace to help offset the decline in their financial position. A possible decrease of close interaction or prolonged periods of absence may leave children reliant on peers for emotional support. The subjective experience of family becomes, little by little, dispersed, and superficial, unless parents are careful to prevent this. The psychological consequence of this disruptive familial environment may translate into symptoms of apathy, boredom, low self-esteem, school phobia, transition phobia, guilt, or behavioural troubles at school (Schauder, 2009). Further, as a consequence of the COVID-19 pandemic on families dealing with high conflict separation or divorce, routines previously established, such as visitations, domestic rules, school, and extra-curricular activities may be put on hold or changed. From this author’s perspective, news about COVID-19 appears to overwhelm children’s emotional defenses because of its severity as well as our uncertainty regarding the timeline for our success in defeating it. Within my program, my colleagues and I are observing divorcing parents having increased difficulty protecting children from the disruption caused by the pandemic. Children are expressing a decreased tolerance to frustration, increasing worries about family members becoming sick, a fear of bacteria and viruses, and an increased reluctance to adhere to transition schedules, especially if a specific parent is preferred.

Our observations support studies recently published concerning the impact of this pandemic. For instance, Jiao et al. (2020) and Wang et al. (2020) found that children who had experienced a prolonged period without going to school experienced a fear of asking about the epidemic or the health of family members, as well as insistent demands of physical contact, sleep problems, low concentration, and separation anxiety. Xie et al. (2019) investigated depressive and anxiety symptoms among students who were confined at home in Hubei province, China. They found that the prevalence of symptoms of depression and anxiety were higher than in other studies of SARS-related stressors. According to Lee (2020) and Golberstein et al. (2020) this pandemic worsened the mental health conditions of children and adolescents.

As psychotherapists and counsellors, it is important to facilitate processes in which families can engage to help promote consistency, predictability of caregiving, and the flexibility to adapt to the uncertainties of the current reality. In situations of high conflict separation, it is imperative to facilitate processing on the importance of the task of protecting children from the external disruptive experience caused by the interparental conflict and litigation matters.

In terms of the COVID-19 impact, it is also important to educate and facilitate the development of strategies to mitigate the impact of the pandemic on the context of separation by:

learning ways of coping with constant personal interaction within the household (for example, renegotiating household rules, defining time for individual activities and common activities, identifying spaces for those activities, communicating needs for privacy)

decreasing the exposure to ultra-realism offered by media (for instance, avoid having TV or radio on news about the pandemic all the time, avoiding commenting about death numbers or sensationalist news)

offering “digested” truths, adapted to the child’s stage of development, to educate them on the pandemic and the new family dynamic; reinforcing the presence of the other parent in the child’s mind through memories, by supporting and facilitating phone and/or video calls when the child requires or when planned;

creating the space and time for individual and family play, to laugh, to share emotions, and to share creativity;

maintaining appropriate family structure, and discussing our expectations and agreements

maintaining adherence to court orders, including regularity of transitions;

creating context of hope and solidarity;

In the context of high conflict separation, the risk of instability, lack of boundaries, and lessened parental empathy is compounded by the disruptive experience of the current pandemic. In the midst of COVID-19, therapists working with these families must focus on creating safe spaces for sharing the experience of each member. This approach can help build resiliency and support healthy new ways of interaction to restore a sense of belonging and emotional containment.

References

Anderson, S. R., Anderson, S. A., Palmer, K. L., Mutchler, M. S., & Baker, L. K. (2010). Defining high conflict. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 39, 1, 11–27. doi: 10.1080/01926187.2010.530194

Borelle, A. & Russo, S. (2013). El psicodiagnóstico de niños. Criterios de evaluación en las organizaciones neuróticas, psicóticas y límite. Buenos Aires: Paidós

Chase-Lansdale, P. L., Cherlin, A. J., & Kiernan, K. E. (1995). The long-term effects of parental divorce on the mental health of young adults: A developmental perspective. Child Development, 66, 1614-1634.

Fergusson, D. M., McLeod, G. F., & Horwood, L. J. (2014). Parental separation/divorce in childhood and partnership outcomes at age 30. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 55, 352–360. doi: 10.1111/jcpp.12107

Golberstein, E., Wen, H., & Miller, B.F. (2020). Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19) and Mental Health for Children and Adolescents. JAMA Pediatrics. Published online April 14, 2020. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2020.1456

Jiao, W. Y., Wang, L. N., Liu, J., Fang, S. F., Jiao, F. Y., Pettoello-Mantovani, M., & Somekh, E. (2020). Behavioral and emotional disorders in children during the COVID-19 epidemic. The Journal of Pediatrics, S0022-3476(0020)30336-X. doi: 10.1016/j. jpeds.2020.03.013

Lee, J. (2020). Mental health effects of school closures during COVID-19. Lancet Child Adolescent Health, https://doi.org/10.1016/ S2352-4642(20)30109-7

Schauder, C. (2009) Souffrances psychiques liées à la séparation conjugale, droit à l’enfant et postmodernité. La lettre de l’enfance et de l’adolescence, 78, 4, 13-18. doi:10.3917/ lett.078.0013.

Wang, G., Zhang, Y., Zhao, J., Zhang, J., & Jiang, F (2020). Mitigate the effects of home confinement on children during the COVID-19 outbreak. The Lancet, 395, 10228, 945947. doi: https://doi.org/10.1016/S01406736(20)30547-X

Xie, X., Xue, Q., Zhou, Y., Zhu, K., Liu, Q., Zhang, J., & Song, R. (2020). Mental Health Status Among Children in Home Confinement During the Coronavirus Disease 2019 Outbreak in Hubei Province, China. JAMA Pediatrics. Published online April 24, 2020. doi:10.1001/ jamapediatrics.2020.1619 Dilcio Guedes is a Registered Psychotherapist in Toronto, Canada. He holds a MA in Psychology (University Paris 10 – Nanterre/La Defense, France; and University of Fortaleza, Brazil). He is a counsellor at the Families in Transition Program at Family Services Toronto, a program. The Families in Transition Program supports the well-being of children who are experiencing significant change brought on by separation/divorce of parents. His research and teaching experiences, and practice have been focused socio-emotional development, attachment, child and adult psychoanalysis, and mental health. He is member of the Research Group Psychoanalysis and Disruptive (Universidad del Salvador/Argentinian Psychoanalytic Association, Buenos Aires) and PhD Candidate studying about how children represent their experiences of separation and divorce through drawings.