Ed's Funny Feet

Cover: 196x130mm, plus 6mm bleed. Spine: 5.1mm

flyers

flyers

O'BRIEN

4

Ed’s Funny Feet

LY E

4

R

FLYERS

£3.99

Illustrated by Woody

F

Read more about Ed Cooper in Going Potty and Ed’s Bed!

•

EOIN COLFER • WOODY

Ed Cooper has a problem with his big toes. The doctor says Ed needs ‘correction shoes’.

Disaster!

Everybody will laugh at him.

Ed uses every trick he can think of not to wear the shoes. He even tries DIY foot-straighteners!

But it’s no use.

The shoes arrive. Ed opens the box, and the shoes are not as bad as he’d thought. They’re worse!

ED’S FUNNY FEET

ED’S FUNNY FEET

EOIN COLFER

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

FLYER books are for confident readers who can take on the challenge of a longer story.

Can YOU spot the aeroplane hidden in the story?

1 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:48 2000

Color profile: Disabled Composite Default screen

Good luck Helen and Paul

EOIN COLFER is the author of two other Ed Cooper stories,

Going Potty and Ed’s Bed. He is also a bestselling author

for older readers with his novels: Benny and Omar, which became an instant hit, Benny and Babe, The Wish List and the Artemis Fowl series. He lives in Wexford with his wife, Jackie, and son, Finn.

WOODY has been an illustrator for many years, specialising in children’s books and anything funny. He loves animals and nature and lives in Devon with his mate, Windsor – a rather large tabby cat!

2 E:...Eds Funny Feet.vp Thu Feb 22 15:24:31 2007

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed’s Funny Feet Eoin Colfer Illustrated by Woody

3 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:48 2000

First published 2000 by The O’Brien Press Ltd, 12 Terenure Road East, Rathgar, Dublin 6, D06 HD27, Ireland.

Tel: +353 1 4923333; Fax: +353 1 4922777 E-mail: books@obrien.ie Website: www.obrien.ie Reprinted 2001, 2004, 2007..

Digital edition 2020.

IS B N : 9 7 8 - 0 - 8 6 2 7 8 - 6 5 0 - 2 Text © Eoin Colfer 2000 Copyright for typesetting, layout, illustrations, design © The O’Brien Press Ltd All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or utilised in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or in any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

5 7 9 8 6 20 22 24 23 21

Typesetting, editing, layout, design: The O’Brien Press Ltd Illustrations: Woody

Published in:

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

CHAPTER 1

Special Shoes 7 CHAPTER 2

For your own Good 15 CHAPTER 3

Do-it-Yourself 26 CHAPTER 4

Picking Teams 36 CHAPTER 5

When I was Young 43 CHAPTER 6

Goal!!! 51

5 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:48 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

6 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:50 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

CHAPTER 1

Special Shoes

Ed Cooper had a problem with his big toes. They were pointing at each other instead of straight ahead.

7

7 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:53 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

This meant that sometimes Ed fell over when he was running.

After a while, Ed’s knees were covered with so many bruises that they looked like two angry rain clouds.

8

8 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:53 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Mum took him to see Doctor Bert.

Ed was a little frightened.

Usually when people said ‘hmmm’, they were worried about something.

9

9 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:55 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

‘Hmmm,’ said Doctor Bert again.

‘Ed’s feet are turned in.’

Ed swallowed. That sounded serious.

Doctor Bert tapped Ed’s toes with a rubber hammer. ‘We’re going to have to straighten these little fellows out.’

Straighten them out? thought Ed. How did you straighten toes out? His Dad, a carpenter, straightened out old nails with a pair of pliers.

10

10 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:56 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed hoped Doctor Bert wouldn’t be using the same tool.

11

11 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:57 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Mum noticed Ed’s scared face.

‘Don’t be afraid, Ed,’ she said.

‘There’s no need to be afraid,’ agreed Doctor Bert. ‘Straightening toes doesn’t hurt a bit.’

Doctor Bert took out a special foot measurer from a drawer.

‘Now, Ed. Put your foot in here and we’ll take a few measurements.’

‘Measurements for what?’ asked Ed.

12

12 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:57 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

13

13 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:58 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Doctor Bert pulled the strap tight.

‘Why for your correction shoes of course.’

Correction shoes? That was terrible news. Ed had heard about those. They had thick soles like planks of wood.

And they were really old-fashioned.

14

14 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:59 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

CHAPTER 2

For your own Good ‘It’s for your own good,’ said Mum. That didn’t make Ed feel any better. Horrible things were always for your own good. Like coming in out of the rain, or going to bed early, or correction shoes.

15

15 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:29:59 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

‘No one will even notice you’re wearing them.’

Ed laughed.

Mum didn’t realise how important shoes were in school.

All his friends would be wearing the latest trainers.

16

16 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:05 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

‘Everyone will notice, Mum!’ he wailed. ‘Even the baby infants won’t play with me.’

17

17 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:06 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed had two weeks until his special shoes were ready.

He decided to wear his trainers as much as possible in that time. He wore them to school, he wore them in bed, and once he even wore them in the shower!

18

18 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:07 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Mum was not very pleased when she found the whole house covered with soggy footprints.

19

19 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:09 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Fourteen days later, the shoes arrived ...

The box they came in was plain brown without any bright colours, explosions or even a few stripes.

Ed was worried. Even the box was old-fashioned.

20

20 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:10 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Mum cut the string and peeled off the tissue paper. They peered in together.

The shoes were nothing like he’d imagined ...

They were worse!

21

21 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:12 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed had painted a picture in his mind of big, black shoes like Grandad’s. These were more like toddlers’ sandals – with baby buckles! And thick, white soles.

22

22 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:13 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed had to get away as fast as he could.

He turned and raced up the stairs, imagining the special shoes running after him. He didn’t feel safe until the bedroom door was locked.

23

23 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:15 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

He put his ear to the door and listened. Were the shoes out there?

Waiting for him to creep out? Then they would pounce on his feet and never let go!

24

24 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:16 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed lay on his bed and thought.

He needed a plan. He closed his eyes and waited for one to pop into his head.

After sixteen minutes he had an idea. He would make a do-it-yourself foot straightener.

25

25 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:16 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

CHAPTER 3

Do-it-Yourself ‘Come out of there!’ shouted Ed’s Mum through the keyhole.

26

26 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:18 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

‘I can’t,’ Ed shouted back. ‘I’m inventing.’

‘Well invent quickly,’ said Mum. ‘Dinner will be ready in half an hour.’

27

27 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:19 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed searched his drawers for footstraightening equipment.

The straightest things he could find were a ruler, two pencils, a frisbee and a purple crayon.

Perfect.

28

28 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:20 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed took off his trainers and socks. He sellotaped the frisbee and the crayon to one foot, and the pencils and ruler to the other.

That should do the trick.

29

29 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:21 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed walked up and down the room.

With every step, he stamped his foot to give the straighteners a hand. It was difficult to walk with a frisbee stuck to your foot.

30

30 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:22 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

After eighty-five trips across the room, the crayon broke. A few trips later, the pencils snapped.

Ed sighed. His footstraighteners were worn out.

Time to check the results.

31

31 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:23 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed sat on the bed and unwound the sellotape. He looked at his toes, and his toes wiggled back at him.

They were the very same, not one bit straighter. His invention hadn’t worked.

32

32 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:25 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

‘Ed!’ called his mother. ‘Finish off inventing and come down.

Dinner is ready!’

Ed thought about keeping the door locked, but he was hungry and he didn’t like fighting with Mum. So he opened the door.

33

33 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:27 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

The correction shoes were on the landing – waiting for him. They seemed to watch him with their baby buckles.

Ed jumped over the correction shoes and ran down the stairs.

34

34 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:28 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

He nearly made it to the bottom too. But, at the second last step, his toes tripped him. He rolled along the carpet and banged his knee against the wall.

It didn’t hurt very much, but Ed felt like hitting the wall. So he did.

35

35 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:31 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

CHAPTER 4

Picking Teams On Monday, Ed had to try on the shoes. They felt strange, as though he were standing on two bricks. His feet felt crooked, even though the shoes were supposed to straighten them out.

36

36 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:31 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Mum dropped him to school.

‘Right then, honey,’ she said, kissing him on the cheek. ‘Off you go.’

Ed didn’t go anywhere.

37

37 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:32 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

‘My stomach hurts,’ he said.

Mum put her arm around him.

‘Does it really?’

‘No,’ said Ed. ‘I just don’t want to go to school.’

38

38 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:33 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed climbed out of the car and ran into school.

In class, he tucked his feet under the desk so no one could see the shoes. But, at breaktime, he had to go outside.

39

39 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:34 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

There was nowhere to hide his feet in the yard, so he just had to stand there, with his baby buckles shining in the sun. He was sure that everyone was staring at him.

40

40 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:35 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Paul and Steven were picking teams for football.

‘I pick Conor,’ said Paul.

‘I pick Niall,’ said Steven.

41

41 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:36 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

That was everybody – except Ed.

Paul and Steven weren’t even looking at him. They were looking at his special shoes. They didn’t pick him. Nobody wanted to play with someone in special shoes.

42

42 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:37 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

CHAPTER 5

When I was Young Ed was sulking when Dad came home from his workshop.

43

43 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:38 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed didn’t say anything. You’re not supposed to talk when you’re sulking.

‘Still upset about the shoes?’ Dad asked, shaking sawdust out of his boots into the fire.

Ed couldn’t answer, but he allowed himself a nod.

44

44 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:39 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

‘Sometimes we all have to do things we don’t want to, Ed. I remember when I was young ...’

Ed moaned. He wasn’t in the mood for a story just now.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this story,’ said Dad. ‘It’s pretty ho

horrible

rri

...’

Suddenly, Ed was interested.

‘Oh, go on Dad. Tell me!’

‘Okay,’ said his father, ‘when I was young, children often caught worms.’

‘Children still dig up worms, Dad.’

45

45 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:40 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

‘Oh no. I don’t mean catch worms in the garden. I mean catch worms like you’d catch a cold.’

Ed’s eyes opened wide. That was

ddisgust isgustining. g

‘If you drank dirty water, the worms could get into your tummy and eat all your dinner.’

46

46 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:41 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

47

47 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:42 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

‘To get rid of these worms,’ continued Dad, ‘you had to drink a glass of really revolting medicine.

But when I had worms, I didn’t want to drink the medicine.’

‘That’s silly!’ said Ed. ‘Having medicine is better than having worms.’

‘I know!’ said Dad. ‘But I was even younger than you, and I didn’t understand that the medicine was for my own good.’

Ed nodded. He got the message.

48

48 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:42 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Dad lifted Ed onto his knee.

‘If I hadn’t taken that medicine, I’d have a worm as big as a snake swimming around in my belly today.’

Ed shivered. Awful.

49

49 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:44 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Maybe Dad was right. Maybe he should wear the special shoes until his feet straightened out. But that doesn’t make you feel any better, when you’re not picked for the football team.

50

50 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:44 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

CHAPTER 6

Goal!!!

Friday was Sports’ Day. Mum dropped Ed off to school.

‘But, Mum,’ he said, ‘I won’t even get picked for football.’

Mum winked. ‘Oh, I think you will, Ed. Everybody plays on Sports’ Day.’

51

51 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:46 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed frowned. Mum was right.

Everyone had their best sports gear on. So did Ed. But his was ruined by the special shoes. What chance did he have against someone wearing trainers with special grips? None.

52

52 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:47 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

They lined up to pick football teams. Miss Byrne was in charge of the teams. She walked along the line, tapping everyone on the nose.

53

53 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:48 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

The ‘ones’ were in one team, and the ‘twos’ in the other.

Ed was a number one. All the other number ones groaned when he joined their group. This was terrible – worse than not being picked.

54

54 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:49 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

No one passed the ball to Ed. He stood at the back of the field staring at his special shoes.

55

55 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:51 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

‘Come on, Ed!’ said Miss Byrne.

‘Come on, Ed!’ shouted his Mum from the sideline.

But Ed didn’t want to ‘come on’. He wanted to go home and lock himself in his bedroom.

56

56 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:52 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Then the ball bounced across the field and landed beside his foot.

57

57 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:53 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed started to run. He wouldn’t get very far. He never did. Any second now his turned-in feet would trip him up, and he would fall over.

But he didn’t fall over. The special shoes kept his feet straight, and he kept going all the way up the field.

58

58 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Mon May 15 17:33:22 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Mum was getting very excited, jumping up and down.

‘Come on, Ed! Come on, Ed!’

59

59 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:55 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed ran faster and faster, kicking the ball in front of him. He ran so fast that no one could catch him. He ran right up to the goal, and whacked the ball as hard as he could. It went straight past the goalkeeper and into the net.

60

60 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:56 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Miss Byrne blew the whistle, and held up one finger.

61

61 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:30:58 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

62

62 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:31:00 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Ed kept on running. He ran right over to Mum. ‘Did you see me?’ he asked.

‘Yes I did,’ smiled Mum. ‘I didn’t fall,’ said Ed. ‘I know,’ said Mum. ‘You were great. Just brilliant!’

‘The special shoes. They kept my feet straight.’

Mum was so happy she had to blow her nose.

‘You see. I told you ...’

‘I know,’ said Ed. ‘They’re for my own good.’

63

63 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:31:00 2000

Color profile: JANUARY 2000.CCM - Generic CMYK Composite 100 lpi at 45 degrees

Mum lifted Ed up and swung him around. Ed laughed for the first time that week. He still didn’t like the correction shoes, but he’d just have to get used to them. And so would everyone else.

64

64 E:...ED’sTrainers.vp Thu May 11 15:31:01 2000

Cover: 196x130mm, plus 6mm bleed. Spine: 5.1mm

flyers

flyers

O'BRIEN

4

Ed’s Funny Feet

LY E

4

R

FLYERS

£3.99

Illustrated by Woody

F

Read more about Ed Cooper in Going Potty and Ed’s Bed!

•

EOIN COLFER • WOODY

Ed Cooper has a problem with his big toes. The doctor says Ed needs ‘correction shoes’.

Disaster!

Everybody will laugh at him.

Ed uses every trick he can think of not to wear the shoes. He even tries DIY foot-straighteners!

But it’s no use.

The shoes arrive. Ed opens the box, and the shoes are not as bad as he’d thought. They’re worse!

ED’S FUNNY FEET

ED’S FUNNY FEET

EOIN COLFER