This edition first published 2023 by The O’Brien Press Ltd, 12 Terenure Road East, Rathgar, Dublin 6, D06 HD27, Ireland.
Tel: +353 1 4923333; Fax: +353 1 4922777
E-mail: books@obrien.ie; Website: obrien.ie
First published in hardback 2005. Reprinted 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2014, 2017.
The O’Brien Press is a member of Publishing Ireland.
ISBN: 978-1-78849-409-0
Copyright for text, illustrations and design © Colin Murphy/Donal O’Dea 2005 The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted.
Copyright for typesetting, layout, editing © The O’Brien Press Ltd 2005
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or utilised in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or in any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Printed and bound by Drukarnia Skleniarz, Poland.
The paper in this book is produced using pulp from managed forests.
Published in
Acknowledgements:
This publication has been compiled with the assistance of a complete pack of scangers, without whose contribution this book would be as useful as a lighthouse on a bog. They are:
Ronan O’Donoghue, Catherine Lennon, Orla Doherty, Stephen McKeon, Kathryn McDonagh, Seamus Fennessy, Grainne Murphy, Colette Tiernan.
Always a day late and a pound short. Extremely unreliable. Prone to promise-breaking.
Are you headin’?
Are you about to depart?
Are you startin’?
Are you looking for a fight?
As rough as a bear’s arse.
Extremely hungover. Unwell.
As scarce as hen’s teeth.
Extremely scarce. Non-existent.
As scarce as shite from a rocking horse.
In extremely short supply. Non-existent.
As sick as a small hospital. Gravely ill. Very disappointed.
As small as a mouse’s tit. Tiny. Microscopic.
As thick as a cow’s arse. Really stupid.
As tight as a camel’s arse in a sandstorm. Very mean.
Totally useless.
As useful as a lighthouse on a bog.
As useful as a cigarette lighter on a motorbike. Totally useless.