February 2018 Mental Health Special Edition

WHAT’S INSIDE 4-5 6-7 8-9 10-11 The following students worked on this special edition. Unlike our four regular print editions each year, this paper contains no advertising and has a print run of 600 for the students and staff of FFHS rather than our normal distribution of 6,000 copies throughout the Outer Banks.

Editors-in-Chief – Beverly Murry, Arabella Saunders, Alex Rodman

ANXIETY AND ART

BLAKE FINDS UNIQUE WAYS TO COPE WITH STRESS

DEPRESSION

NICHOLSON SPENDS TIME IN WILDERNESS THERAPY

SELF HARM

SUICIDE’S PORTRAYAL IN MEDIA/EATING DISORDERS

OCD AND SOCIAL ANXIETY HORAK DEALS WITH DISTRACTION

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ADHD AND ADDERALL

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DYSLEXIA AND DIVORCE

THE EFFECTS AND MISUSE OF ADHD MEDICATION

STUDENTS TACKLE EVERYDAY STRUGGLES

Business Manager – Hunter Haskett Graphics Editor – Dagen Gilbreath Photographers – Payton Gaddy, Michaela Kelly, Buzzy Staten Writers – Hannah Ellington, Chloe Futrell, Ashlee Geraghty, Suzanne Harrison, Caroline Jenkins, Dair McNinch, Izzy Requa, Meghan Savona, Grace Sullivan, Emmy Trivette Design – Trinity Harrison, Kejsi Zyka, Shelby Miller, Julia Bachman, Simone Midgett, Koral Tucker Adviser – Steve Hanf

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ighthawk News Magazine is published four times a year by the journalism classes at First Flight High School. The Mental Health Editon is a supplement to Nighthawk News Magazine. The publication is distributed free to the FFHS student body, faculty and staff and to First Flight Middle.

The Nighthawk News staff strives to provide informative and accurate coverage of individuals and events within the school and the Dare County community.

The opinion pages serve as a forum for the publications staff and community.

Views expressed in Nighthawk News do not represent the opinions of the faculty or administration, the Dare County School Board or its administration. Editorials represent the views of the staff; bylined columns are the opinion of the authors.

Readers are encouraged to write letters to the editor on matters of concern.

Letters may be mailed to FFHS or delivered to Room B-214. They must be signed.

We reserve the right to edit letters for length, grammatical errors or libelous content.

Reach us by mail at 100 Veterans Drive, Kill Devil Hills, N.C. 27948, by phone at (252) 449-7000 or by e-mail at hanfst@daretolearn.org. Advertising inquiries can be made by phone or email.

Nighthawk News is a member of North Carolina Scholastic Media Association and the National Scholastic and Southern Interscholastic press associations. Our stories also are published online at NighthawkNews.com. Follow us on Twitter @ FFNighthawkNews, Facebook.com/NighthawkNews, Instagram @FFHSNighthawkNews and Snapchat at Nighthawk.News.

Mullen Publications, Inc., of Charlotte printed this edition of our paper. Nighthawk News subscribes to Tribune News Service to provide national content.

Don’t wait for the next print edition in March – stay current at NighthawkNews.com!

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ON THE COVER

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ental health is a battle often fought alone. A battle people romanticize, scoff at, sweep under the rug. A battle most people don’t understand.

That’s why we chose to do a special edition dedicated to mental health. Our school needs to hear stories of struggle and recovery from our peers, not just a Netflix show.

We need to hear how dyslexia is a hurdle Kevin Thoms jumps over every day. How Ivy Doyle battled anorexia and learned to love herself. How Kamea Blake blends painting and collage to cope with her anxiety.

We chose to include former student Kamea Blake on the cover with art created by senior Lauren Kerlin digitally placed over top by graphics editor Dagen Gilbreath.

“It was definitely some of the most fun I’ve had designing something for Nighthawk News just because of how well everything ended up working out,” Gilbreath said.

Photographer Payton Gaddy offered to take Blake’s picture in our photo studio; together, we chose to include a stoic photo for our cover.

In this edition we played with new designs – straying from all

Photo by Payton Gaddy/ Shorelines Yearbook Former student Kamea Blake enjoys a light-hearted moment during the onthe-cover photo shoot. that we do in our quarterly publications. With our design team, we stitched together elements that we think accurately represent mental health in a graphic form.

We would like to thank everyone who was willing to be interviewed, and everyone who dedicated their time and skills to making this paper what you’re reading today.

– The Editors FEBRUARY 2018

Fighting the stigma behind mental health conditions

By Hannah Ellington News Editor Editor’s note: The student referred to as Sarah in this story requested anonymity to protect their identity.

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ccording to Mental Health America, “one in five adults have a mental health condition. That’s over 40 million Americans; more than the populations of New York and Florida combined.” And according to the National Center for Children in Poverty, many of these conditions arise during adolescence.

Although mental illnesses can begin by the teenage years, many times they go unnoticed and untreated.

“I think that for a while, people didn’t necessarily consider a mental health problem a true medical problem,” school nurse Robyn Dozier said. “It’s not like diabetes or heart disease or anything of that nature. It was just more able to be controlled in your mind. They’re now recognizing there’s significant chemical reasons: brain chemistry is altered.”

Mental health conditions often hold negative connotations and are surrounded by stereotypes. Starting from a young age, many people associate terms like “weird” and “crazy” with legitimate diseases, and often times, these misconceptions are carried into adulthood.

“I think there are stigmas due to the fact that other people surrounding you can’t really see what you’re dealing with,” Sarah said.

“They don’t understand how your coping mechanisms come together and they don’t understand the hardship it takes for you to even do simple things. For example, depression, where people think you’re ‘just being lazy.’ Anxiety, where you ‘just don’t want to be in front of people because you’re self-conscious of your looks,’ rather than you emotionally can’t handle it.”

The stigma of mental health conditions, explained school counselor Kyle Eaker, often originates from misguided past views that these individuals were “different” and “not normal.”

Historically, these beliefs caused people to be discriminated against upon the basis of being possessed or holding demonic ideals. They were shunned, thrown into hospi-

tals – as if they carried some kind of contagious disease – and locked away.

“I definitely think there is a historical background to mental health and the stigma,” Eaker said.

“And then in current times – we’ll say modern era – there’s something wrong with you. You’re weak, you can’t deal with the day-to-day.

There’s this overarching thing where people think if you have some sort of mental illness then you’re not normal, you’re not part of regular society.”

But these stigmas also have stemmed from media perpetuating the stereotype that people with a mental health condition are “unstable” or “violent.” In the high school shooting in Parkland, Florida, for instance, the shooter’s mental illness and depression featured prominently in news reports. This in turn contributes to a widespread fear of people with mental illness.

“I used to work in a prison way before working in a high school and schizophrenia is something that people have a misconception about,” Eaker said. “I worked with, obviously, violent schizophrenics because they are in prison for some reason, but on the day to day, dealing with a schizophrenic person or someone who is diagnosed with schizophrenia, they don’t have violent tendencies. We’re talking about 1 or 2 percent of the schizophrenia population are actually violent.”

Unfortunately, these stigmas can cause people living with a mental health condition to view themselves in a negative light due to the way they have been treated and the ideals they have been brought up to believe.

“I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve heard so many people talk about stigmas towards mental illnesses that I did start to believe them,” Sarah said. “But when the doctors told me that I was actually diagnosed with these things, it definitely changed my perspective.’’

The first step to getting away from these misconceived ideas is finding someone to turn to and talking about it.

“Seeking help did definitely help me because it helped me reach out to people that have been dealing with the same things as me, and it gave me more opportunities to strengthen myself individually as a person, mentally

Nighthawk News Magazine / / The Mental Health Edition

Illustration by Karsen Beckner and Lauren Kerlin/ Special to Nighthawk News and physically,” Sarah said. “There are a lot of people that are dealing with the same things as you and you just have to find those people.

And when you do, you don’t feel uncomfortable talking about it.

You don’t feel uncomfortable being around that person, it’s sort of like a safe haven.”

However, it’s easier said than done. Talking about feelings can be challenging, no matter if the person has been reassured time and time again that it is OK to open up.

This can lead to a never-ending cycle of not getting the help someone needs.

“If there was no stigma and you felt comfortable and you didn’t feel as though you were going to be judged, then people would seek out help more often,” Eaker said.

In more recent times, however, the stereotypes behind mental illnesses have been less prevalent due to increased conversation in the medical community and more research being done. Doctors and nurses want to help just as much as counselors and therapists.

“I worked in the emergency room for a long time, so I saw a lot of mental health cases that came through the door in an acute crisis,” Dozier said. “A lot of reasons why people like me work in the public health world is to try and prevent that endpoint of them walking through the door in a crisis where they’re ready to do something to themselves or others, be

it they can’t get their medicine or they’re just losing it that day.”

The only way to prevent people from getting to that endpoint is educating society on what mental illnesses are (and what they may stem from), providing more access to help, being conscious of not using ableist language – throwing out casual slurs like “retard” or “psycho” – showing compassion, and viewing these conditions as something legitimate rather than abnormal.

“I have seen amazing, amazing recoveries of young adults that I’ve seen progress through supportive families, supportive schools and medical intervention,” Dozier said.

“I’ve seen them graduate and go on to be productive members of society and they have dealt with that stigma very well.”

Mental illness stigmas may be something that can’t be fixed immediately, but recoveries are definitely possible. People who are feeling like they’re at a bad place now should know that it can get better. And everyone holds the power to help end the stigma associated with mental illness.

“I try and tell kids that this is just one segment in your life,” Dozier said. “There’s a broad world out there. I try to give people a vision of ‘It’s not always going to be this way.’ ” Junior Hannah Ellington can be reached at ellingtonha1214@daretolearn.org.

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Blake copes through creativity

By Chloe Futrell Features Editor Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

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eart pounding, she can feel the incessant beating encapsulate her body.

Cold. Everything is cold. Hands shaking, an unpleasant but familiar knot in her stomach begins to form.

Former First Flight student Kamea Blake is having an anxiety attack.

“It is all a specific fear,” Blake said. “It is mainly germs. I have a fear of touching something or eating something gross. If I eat too much at night I will throw up.”

Blake’s fear of throwing up was the start to her anxiety. It first began in elementary school when she was surrounded by other students who were often sick.

“It really got a lot worse because I would have to go to school and I would think, ‘I’m going to get sick,’ ” Blake said.

Throughout her elementary school years, Blake’s anxiety worsened. By middle school, she was in a constant state of discomfort, stuck in a rut that she couldn’t seem to find her way out of.

“School overwhelmed me. I couldn’t have a social life when I was in public school,” Blake said. “It is a feeling of blue, you feel moody, you can’t feel happy. It was to the point where I couldn’t get work done I was so depressed.”

As she entered high school, these feelings continued. Blake began to feel anxious about what her junior year would have in store for her.

She doubted herself and her ability in school, constantly worrying about if she would get into college, or if she would fail her next class.

Blake did, however, have a friend beside her during her most difficult times. Former student McKenzie Crawford offered Blake constant support and encouragement.

“Kamea and I became friends in seventh grade because she sat in front of me and we just hit it off,” Crawford said.

Crawford was also there when Blake was having an anxiety attack.

“We were about to go to sleep and Kamea started shaking,” Crawford said. “It was really scary because I wasn’t sure what to do. I wish I could have been able to help her, but she was reassuring me that she was going to be OK.” Crawford decided to start online school after her freshman year, and a year later, Blake would follow. Before her junior year of high school, fearing the stress that would accompany college preparation, Blake made the decision to switch to online classes.

Online school allows for Blake to work at her own pace and still enjoy her passions like drawing and music, but she sometimes finds it isolating.

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Photos by Payton Gaddy/Shorelines Yearbook Kamea Blake looks into her cosmetic mirror (above) to carefully blend her eyeshadow. Below and right, Blake scours magazines for images to use in her future designs. Makeup and making collages are both forms of art that Blake uses to manage her anxiety.

“In homeschooling you are alone most of the time. For people with depression it can be hard, but it has saved me when it comes to my grades,” Blake said.

While Blake was experiencing some of her darkest times and struggling with school, one thing did help her: art. Blake considers drawing cathartic, a way to communicate those feelings of depression and anxiety.

“When I draw I can visually see what I’m feeling,” she said. “It was hard because I didn’t want my family to worry about me – which they don’t really now because a lot of my drawings (now) are not as dark, but then it was pretty dark.”

When Blake first began to relieve her anxiety through art, a common theme among her drawings was darkness.

“I feel like sometimes people think of that stuff (dark thoughts) and they are scared to talk about it,” Blake said. “It is hard for people to talk about it because friends have dealt with it, and it’s hard to really think about.”

Many of Blake’s drawings feature death, once again tapping into a subject that most people want to avoid. The oddity of Blake’s drawings are what make them so unique.

“My drawings aren’t about suicide or depression, just death,” she said. “It’s a curious thing, everyone is like, ‘Oh my gosh what happens when you die?’ It’s also really cool to capture it (death or mental illness) in a drawing,” Blake said. “It’s almost beautiful to see someone vulnerable.”

Blake’s drawings seem to have tapped into everyone’s subconscious, creating vivid and extraterrestrial portraits. Blake also shares a physical character trait similar to all of her portraits: a shaved head.

“When I started drawing them they would have to be bald – they were all bald,” Blake said.

“They’re all beautiful in their own way and I don’t think they need hair to define them as beautiful.”

While Blake isn’t completely bald, she did shave her head into a buzzcut in November 2017.

“I didn’t want to cut my hair for my paintings,” Blake said. “I wanted to feel beautiful without hiding behind hair.”

Every day, Blake fights her own battles and her art makes them a little easier to cope with.

Blake hopes that talking about her own struggles can help comfort others going through similar scenarios.

“I have come to terms with it,” she said. “A lot of people go through it and not a lot of people talk about it.”

Junior Chloe Futrell can be reached at futrellch1114@daretolearn.org.

February 2018

Art submitted by Kamea Blake Nighthawk News Magazine / / The Mental Health Edition

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Photo submitted by Sean Nicholson Senior Sean Nicholson takes a break from his hike to pose for a selfie. He spent 73 days in a wilderness therapy program in the mountains of North Carolina.

Nicholson nurtures recovery through wilderness therapy

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he boys gather around their makeshift campfire, their clothes still damp with rain water, boots caked with the mud of the Pisgah National Forest.

Juxtaposed against the sharp crack of the flames, the wind whispers through pine trees as they hang their heads in exhaustion. The voice of their field supervisor breaks the silence: “Think about a time you’ve lost someone because of your actions and tell a story about what you did to lose them,” he challenges. Countless scenarios begin to manifest in senior Sean Nicholson’s mind as each boy takes his turn.

“That was the first time I felt emotionally safe somewhere,” Nicholson recalled. “We went around and all the instructors and all the students talked about the people they’ve lost because of who they were. Every dude that night cried. We had a Kumbaya at the end of the night.”

Throughout his 73-day journey with SUWS of the Carolinas – a wilderness therapy program tailored to teens struggling with substance abuse and/or mental illness – nights such as these were frequent for Nicholson. With his depression

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becoming increasingly severe, the gan acting out more. Failing classes. program was a “last-ditch effort” for “It’s all like a blur or some Nicholson and his family. downhill spiral of me doing some “It’s just been depression for more unhealthy stuff and coming the longest time,” Nicholson said. more inward into myself and push“I just coped with it by pretty much ing people away,” he said. covering it up; hanging out with At that point, Nicholson’s friends, listening to music, avoidparents began researching alternaing my probtive forms of lems instead therapy. In the of facing them spring, they When I was helping other head on.” asked him how he would feel Prior to people with their problems, about doing attending I was kind of helping myself a wilderness the School with my own problems. therapy proof Urban and gram.

Wilderness - Sean Nicholson “I was like, Survival in ‘Eh, I don’t Old Fort just know if I want outside of to commit to that.’ That’s leaving Asheville, Nicholson resorted to behind everything I was comforttherapy, prescription pills and hospital stays in an attempt to manage able with – summer job, technolohis depression. Last January, he was gy, friends, coffee,” Nicholson said.

“It was a really big commitment, so unwillingly admitted to the hospital for mental illness rehabilitation. I left it up to them to decide.”

“It was very controlled, the On May 12, weeks after that inimost controlled environment I’ve tial conversation, Nicholson learned ever been in,” Nicholson said. he would be leaving the Outer “They kind of repress your feelings, Banks for the Pisgah National Fortell you they’re not normal and est in two days. He packed his bag, then they kind of dope you up and which consisted of underwear and tell you, ‘This is what normalcy is.’ socks, and departed on schedule.

After returning home from that As the family made its way up involuntary admittance, Nicholthe winding gravel roads of Black son’s depression grew worse. He be- Mountain, Nicholson began to

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By Arabella Saunders Editor-in-Chief

reconsider his agreement.

“You get there, you see a bunch of dingy-looking buildings and they’re old cabin-type things,” he said. “That’s when I kind of wanted to back out because it’s like, ‘I don’t wanna live here, I don’t wanna live here, I don’t wanna live here.’ ” Despite his initial hesitation, Nicholson settled into his first night at SUWS’ headquarters and received his minimalistic supplies – field clothes and a backpack containing a single tin cup and a spoon. Two days later, after being assigned to group Bravo and briefed on the program’s mission as well as its rules, Nicholson departed into the field with optimism.

“My original goal day one, I told everybody ‘I’ll be out of here in 25 days, I’m not gonna work this program, I’m gonna own this program,’ ” Nicholson said.

The next 25 days were spent hiking, learning survival skills like setting traps, and settling into life off the grid.

Interspersed between hiking and skill development were periods of self-reflection and community discussions known as Truth Circles, where the boys gathered in a group and took turns voicing their thoughts on a chosen topic.

“You’re airing it out and peoFebruary 2018

ple are there to support you through it,” Nicholson recalled. “We did bumps at the end when we all put our fists together and said, ‘It works if you work it and you’re worth it so work it.’ It’s a nice little motivation thing.”

As the group hiked from campsite to campsite, Nicholson realized he had learned so much about himself that his self-imposed deadline was overly optimistic.

“Twenty-five days came and I still had a lot to learn. I was becoming aware of who I was and realized, ‘I can’t do this in 25 days,’ ” he said. “So, I set my goal for 50 days.”

Nicholson continued with the program as others in his group began to graduate. But he, too, would soon be moving on. Nicholson never felt quite right in Bravo group because most of the other boys were dealing with anger management issues, not depression – “It wasn’t a good match for me emotionally,” he said.

Due to his progression and length of time within the program, Nicholson was approached by a field supervisor and given the opportunity to co-lead a newly revived group known as Alpha.

“It had been shut down for years and then they started it up again, and I got to be the one to design the group culture,” he said. “They give you an empty notebook and you write what the group is gonna be about in it, who’s in it, what rules you’re gonna live by and all that stuff.”

Nicholson filled the notebook with an outline for his new group based on collectiveness, calling on “The Law of the Jungle” from “The Jungle Book” for inspiration.

“We worked together as a wolfpack.

We were a group about not only accepting each other, but helping each other become stronger and get through the struggles of the day,” Nicholson said.

“Sometimes, even if you don’t want to, someone would struggle with carrying their pack and you would take the extra 40 pounds and strap it onto your chest.”

In addition to teamwork, Nicholson also aimed for Alpha to be centered around acceptance. His goal was to avoid having anyone feel the isolation he experienced in the Bravo group.

“I had mostly semi-younger kids and I had people that weren’t socially adjusted,” Nicholson said. “It was like, ‘Here’s my motley crew.’ Either we were really tall and lanky or short and chubby, but it was a funny way to bring us all together.”

Nicholson worked tirelessly to establish his group culture and serve as a mentor for the other boys within Alpha. Using his own journey with mental illness to aid others experiencing similar tribulations proved cathartic for Nicholson.

“When I was helping other people with their problems, I was kind

of helping myself with my own problems,” Nicholson said. “Some of their problems, it was easy to relate to and sometimes, I’d actually project what I was feeling on to them and solve the problem for them, but also solve it for myself. I had stopped focusing on what I wanted all together. I wanted the other guys to get to where I was in the program. I wanted them to get out before me because they deserved it.”

As day 50 approached, Nicholson had progressed far past the point of graduation. SUWS wasn’t quite ready to let him go, though.

He continued to develop his leadership skills as well as a better understanding of himself. On day 69, he set out on his Solo – a milestone solo hike intended for long-term members that focuses on self-reflection and meditation.

“One of the staff came to check on me as I was sitting by my fire and was like, ‘How you doin’, Bud?’ and I was like, ‘Tomorrow is my 70th day, I’m gonna wake up, I’m gonna still be in this program, I’m not gonna go home,’ ” Nicholson said. “He was like, ‘I’ve got something planned.’ That made me really anxious.”

Sunday morning arrived, yet – nothing. Disheartened, Nicholson hiked along with the rest of Alpha, struggling to accept that he was still in the program.

Turned out just one more task remained. A staffer gathered Alpha around the campsite, lauded Nicholson for his 70-day stay, and started a sharing session of “H’s and A’s” – Hopes and Appreciations.

“I nearly broke down,” Nicholson recalled. “Everyone did their Hopes and Appreciations for me right before it started raining.”

Now, Nicholson is home, and the storm clouds have passed – for the most part. Like everyone who suffers from mental illness, Nicholson still has his ups and downs.

“Stuff comes to you unexpectedly and even though there will be hardships, it’s only up from here,” he said.

That’s the same positivity that permeated the air as Nicholson concluded the Truth Circle by shouting “It works if you work it and you’re worth it so work it!” Since returning from SUWS and the Pisgah National Forest, Nicholson feels as though he’s come full circle.

“If we were in a Sci-Fi world, I’d think they just cloned me and released a better version, because old me was just in a terrible position for so long,” he said. “After this, I’m not as miserable all the time, I can communicate and I’ve got a completely different look on life. It’s just out of this world that I could get that from just living in the woods and working with these people.”

Senior Arabella Saunders can be reached at saundersar0214@daretolearn.org.

Nighthawk News Magazine / / The Mental Health Edition

Treatment options for

DEPRESSION

According to Live Science, 50 percent of Americans diagnosed with depression seek treatment.

For those that choose treatment, many options are available:

Prescription MEDication Antidepressants can help change a person’s mood, help them sleep, make it easier to concentrate, or increase ones appetite. Although antidepressants help with depression, they come with side effects.

Pyschotherapy Many people choose to treat their depression by communicating with a trained medical health professional. This can help people learn how to deal with their problems by talking through them.

Unconventional Therapy Examples of unconventional therapy for depression consist of wilderness therapy, art and music therapy, color therapy and exercise.

Hospitalization Hospitalization is the most intensive form of treatment and usually last for a few days to up to two weeks in more severe cases.

Illustrations by Vega Sproul/Special to Nighthawk News Graphic by Arabella Saunders Information compiled by Simone Midgett/Nighthawk News

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Suicide is romanticized in the media

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uicide and its counterparts of self harm and mental illness are becoming more and more prominent in our society, in negative and positive aspects. Although it’s a great thing to integrate this topic that affects so many people, it’s complicated to do so correctly.

Throughout the years, I’ve picked up on little things that seem almost manufactured in relation to suicide.

Whether it’s an incorrect tweet about “how Van Gogh ate yellow paint to feel happy inside,” or just a story talking about the Aokigahara Forest (Suicide Forest) in Japan, there was always a toxic undertone.

People seem to talk about suicide only when it is timely, aesthetically pleasing or helps them sound educated.

In the past, I brushed off these instances because I thought I was too critical of people and the media possibly trying to educate themselves. I went on with my business and never got worked up over it.

Things came to a halt, though, when the TV show “13 Reasons Why” came out. I was excited to see such a moving book be brought to life, but I was also skeptical.

Nighthawk Notions Grace Sullivan How would the show portray such a sensitive topic? But I put my worries behind me and watched.

To say I was stunned by the end of the series is an understatement. I watched a young girl kill herself, her parents finding her sitting in a bathtub with her wrists slit. In a haze of disgust, confusion and anger, I asked myself, “What is next for this chapter of suicide in the media?”

A week had passed and social media was still buzzing about the controversial scenes of suicide and sexual assault. I wasn’t surprised people were mad: I was surprised people were still supporting this show after it caused so many problems. A study from JAMA Internal Medicine shows during the time

the show was most watched, the search phrase “how to commit suicide” rose 26 percent.

In the midst of all of this, I not only worried about other people – the families of two California girls who killed themselves last year after watching the show blamed “13 Reasons” for glamorizing suicide – but also wondered how my own mental health would be affected.

Like many others suffering from depression, after watching the show I found myself falling into a pit of despair, anxiety and illness. I would spend hours thinking about if I would ever be in that situation where I find someone who had hurt themselves, or worse – if I would ever be that girl on TV. Depression is a long journey, and for many people like myself, this show put us in a spot we had no desire to go back to. The media moved on and I tried to as well, but then a new buzz began, and this one didn’t have any positive aspects.

A single thumbnail of a 15-minute video sent shockwaves not only through social media, but global news as well. The video posted by YouTuber Logan Paul showed a blurred-out image of the body of

someone who had committed suicide in the Aokigahara Forest.

For days, it went unnoticed, but after news of the image spread across social media, the video was taken down and outrage ensued.

Everyone had something to say, and I witnessed for the first time how no one was afraid to talk about suicide and mental illness. Videos and stories of people speaking out about their own experiences with suicide attempts and mental health conditions were published everywhere.

Celebrities and news outlets began acknowledging the dangers of portraying this romanticized form of suicide, told their audiences it’s OK to have these feelings of sadness, and that help is always there.

This new age of mental health awareness has brought people together in ways I never imagined.

Thinking about how much was accomplished and how many barriers were broken in under the span of a year, the future seems bright and accepting for this dark part of our society.

Junior Grace Sullivan can be reached at sullivangr1129@daretolearn.org.

‘I’m going to kill myself’ – not a passing comment

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et’s get something straight: nobody’s Signs of suicidal thoughts have now become abundance of stress gives them the exthe social norm and are considered “cool.” Due 11:39 PM Verizon cuse to make light of saying, “I’m going to this, real signs from people who actually want to kill myself.” We get it. You’re stressed help have become harder to spot. The more ofout and every little thing in life is piling up at ten people say it, the less people feel the need to College apps once. help or do anything about suicidal thoughts. make me wanna kill In today’s society, especially among adolesSchools in particular have become such a myself #kms #ughh cents, phrases like “I’m going common place for this type of to kill myself” are being used behavior. jokingly more than ever. If Say you get a bad grade on someone says it, odds are the a test or you don’t understand people around won’t even some of the material: How take their comment seriousoften do you hear the instant ly. But can you really blame thought of “I want to die” or them?

“I’m going to kill myself”?

GIF Tweet We hear these types of Then your peers are either “jokes” everywhere we go. It’s laughing at you or agreeing become natural to assume with you, and teachers proNighthawk Notions whoever says “I’m going to kill ceed to let this happen.

Ashlee Geraghty myself” isn’t actually serious.

If someone hears this Graphic by Vega Sproul/ Granted, these comments are nonsense, I believe it is their Special to Nighthawk News often either preceded by an “OMG” or followed responsibility to tell someone or at least try their life – and these rates are only increasing. by an “LOL.” But that doesn’t mean it’s OK. to find some way to help this person. If these Next time something doesn’t go your way The pain and burden left on friends and threats are taken seriously, it could reduce the and your first thought is to roll your eyes and family of people who take their lives is unbearamount of threats made and also get people complain “I wanna die,” think about the 41,000 able. They are constantly questioning what they who are struggling the help that they need.

Graphic by Vega Sproul/Special to Nighthawk News people who legitimately have these thoughts could have done differently or why they hadn’t According to the National Alliance on Menand the credibility you’re taking away from noticed anything sooner. Well, maybe they tal Illness (NAMI), suicide is the second most them. could have noticed some kind of sign, if these common cause of death among young people Senior Ashlee Geraghty can be reached at gersigns weren’t so commonly used in casual class- and the 10th among adults. In one year alone, room banter or plastered all over social media. an average of more than 41,000 people will take aghtyas0916@daretolearn.org.

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FEBRUARY 2018

Anorexia nervosa Sophomore Ivy Doyle reflects on her experience with an eating disorder

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By Alex Rodman Editor-in-Chief

realized I hadn’t really eaten in a long time, just a few days,” sophomore Ivy Doyle said. “I opened the fridge and took out a strawberry. I just couldn’t put it in my mouth. The thought of it made me want to vomit. I guess that’s what happens, your body starts to reject food as a foreign substance. But I did want to eat it – and I did (eat it). That’s when I was like, this really has to stop.”

Doyle experienced depression and anorexia throughout her seventh- and eighth-grade years.

Driven by feelings of self-loathing, the middle-schooler took extreme action in an attempt to cope, using her anorexia to “give me a purpose, something to occupy myself with,” Doyle said.

“I would fast a lot and then try and hide that I wasn’t eating,” she explained. “I had a lot of self-hatred. I wish I knew why. I guess it was an outlet for that. It was like a lifestyle almost, just something that I did and didn’t really think anything of. I didn’t have to think about it anymore, it came naturally.”

As no one addressed her subtle weight loss, raised concerns regarding her lack of appetite or detected her increasingly peevish attitude, Doyle began to believe – just as others did – that her actions were merely trifling. As the disregard from others grew, so did Doyle’s neglect for her own body and well-being.

“I never got treatment. My family doesn’t know about it. I guess what sort of fueled it was that no one was really paying attention,” Doyle said. “It was rough. So I guess I was grasping for attention.”

Aside from reading through various online support groups, Doyle resolved not to reach out for help – but she was never truly alone in her struggle. According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, approximately eight million people in the United States experience eating disorders.

“I didn’t want to (turn to anyone). I was ashamed because

I realized this is horrible,” Doyle said. “It’s also something that is really hard to explain because people don’t understand that it’s a mental condition as well as a physical one, and I didn’t really have a choice in what I was doing at some points.”

Doyle admits that as her eating disorder endured, she experienced confusing feelings of both pride and grief. But, inevitably her actions resulted in further isolation from friends and family, and in an unhealthy body image.

“You get really lethargic and irritable and you just kind of close yourself off from everyone. I was really frail a lot of the time,” Doyle explained. “I was cutting myself off from the friends that I had and it really made me feel worse about myself.”

Months later, two events helped give Doyle what she describes as a “wake up call.”

She managed to develop a close circle of friends who were able to support her, and her parents’ marriage ended.

“I realized it was really selfish.

I didn’t look better, but it didn’t have anything to do with that,” Doyle said. “When I was eating I felt better, so I tried to think about that.”

Preparing to enter high school, Doyle began to heal and steadily worked toward maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle. But despite these steps toward recovery, her disorder is never entirely overcome. Her experience with anorexia is something she will continue to live with – alongside her new found self-confidence and happiness – for the rest of her life.

Regardless of their level of severity, all eating disorders are dangerous. According to U.S. News & World Report, diagnosed eating disorders carry the highest death rate of all mental health conditions.

“It was not nearly as bad as it could have gotten, so it was easier to stop myself before it went too far,” Doyle said. “Just get help, because it’s not going to get any better if you don’t do something about it and it really can kill you.”

Senior Alex Rodman can be reached at rodmanal0704@daretolearn.org.

Nighthawk News Magazine / / The Mental Health Edition

Photo illustrations by Michaela Kelly/Nighthawk News Sophomore Ivy Doyle looks at the reflection staring back at her. After struggling with an eating disorder, learning to love what she sees in the mirror has been a difficult journey.

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OCD: More than hyperorganization

By Suzanne Harrison News Editor “Her sleeves aren’t even, her sleeves aren’t even, her sleeves ...”

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enior Kyla Horak should be learning about probability in her first-period AP Statistics class, but all her mind can focus on is her teacher’s sleeves – one is slightly higher than the other.

The lesson plan becomes background noise as Horak focuses all of her energy on remaining calm.

The senior debates speaking up, then her teacher nonchalantly evens out her sleeves and continues on with the lesson.

Suddenly, she can breathe again.

Situations similar to these are a daily occurrence brought on by Horak’s experience with OCD. or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a disorder in which a person has uncontrollable thoughts and behaviors that have to be repeated over and over again in order to gain a sense of relief.

According to the World Health Association, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is ranked as one of the top 20 causes of illness-related disability worldwide for individuals between 15 and 44 years of age.

Horak has battled with OCD for as long as she can remember. Her earliest memory of her condition took place when she was 6 years old.

“I was in elementary school and a girl hit me on my leg. Right after it happened, I made her hit me on my other leg so I felt the same feeling on both sides,” Horak said. “My teacher told my mom, and my mom explained to her that I had OCD.” Since Horak was diagnosed with OCD as a child, over the years she has learned how to cope with certain triggering thoughts; however, her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is not a condition that simply goes away over time.

“If I notice something, I try to look away. It stays in my head until I stop thinking about it.

Once you think about it, it doesn’t go away,” she said. “I close my eyes so I don’t have to see it.”

Horak’s OCD does not just affect her. Her brother, sophomore Damon Horak, recalls a time during his eighth-grade year when a simple grocery store trip triggered his sister’s OCD. “We were in the grocery store and she was pushing the cart, and I was leaning on the side of the cart. She told me I had to take my one hand off of the side of the cart,” Damon explained. “She was getting so angry at me. She told me I had to let go of the cart because that side was going to be warmer than the other side – and she made me take my hand off the cart.”

While Damon did not understand his sister’s condition initially, he now realizes that while OCD is a part of who his sister is, it does not define her.

“We are very, very close. We tell each other everything. I knew she was not making up anything. I knew she was telling the truth (about

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Photo illustrations

by Michaela Kelly/ Nighthawk News Senior Kyla Horak is confronted by two of her triggers. Above, Horak becomes stressed as unorganized papers are strewn all over the desk. At left, Horak forces herself to look away from senior Payton Gaddy’s uneven sleeves. Horak has struggled with OCD for a majority of her life. ‘I try not to make it an everyday thing,’ Horak explained.

her OCD),” he said.

Although Horak has the support of her family, that does not make her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder any easier. Needing everything to be even is only a small portion of Horak’s struggle with OCD. In order to begin and end her day, Horak has to stick to daily routines. If her schedule becomes muddled, she is immediately filled with anxiety.

“I have a routine when I get in the shower.

I have a routine when I wake up in the morn-

ing. If (the routines) get messed up, I get really angry or sad,” she explained.

While Horak has daily routines to help cope with her OCD, she emphasizes the importance of taking Obsessive Compulsive Disorder seriously. “(OCD is) not something I can help. It’s not me being picky, selfish or annoying about something,” she said. “It’s a real problem and you have to be respectful of it. People can’t help it.”

Senior Suzanne Harrison can be reached at harrisonsu0716@daretolearn.org.

February 2018

The silent struggle with social anxiety

By Izzy Requa Staff Writer

with the fear of making a mistake, or being judged by others.

“You can’t go to school without interalking across the cafeteacting with teachers and other kids, and ria, giving a presentation almost all jobs require that you interact in class, or even having a with other people,” Grindstaff said. “It conversation. These are all can make school or work really difficult things that may seem like simple, evif you’re trying to do your normal stuff eryday activities to most, but for people but avoid interacting with others.” with social anxiety, these actions can Besides having a hard time in school be overwhelming and extremely stress- and around other people, social anxiful. ety has also been said to lead to other Social Anxiety Disorder, or SAD, problems, one of which is depression. is a mental health condition in which “The reason why is because we all social interactions cause irrational need social interaction, so the person anxiety. According who is avoiding to the Anxiety and social interaction Depression Associabecause of their soIt’s hard for people to tion of America, social anxiety begins cial anxiety affects to feel lonely and understand how you can 15 million adults, or isolated,” Grindget that worried because 16.8 percent of the staff said. This U.S. population. can cause them to to them it just seems like Dr. Jemma get really stuck, Grindstaff is a because they want no big deal; everybody gets licensed psycholoto interact with nervous. gist and a founding other people but member at the now they feel like - Dr. Jemma Grindstaff they can’t and then Triangle Learning Center in Raleigh, that causes them to which provides feel depressed and evaluations for preschoolers, schoolwithdrawn from other people.”

Although social anxiety comes aged children, adolescents and young with many challenges, there are ways adults whose families are concerned to treat it. There are people who have about their learning. devoted their lives to figuring out ways “I think people tend to confuse the to help. kind of anxiety everybody has with the “The best way is to get involved in kind of anxiety that people who have some therapy. There are some medicaa diagnosable social anxiety disorder tions that are used to help, but it’s kind have, and there is a huge magnitude of of hit or miss as to whether or not they difference in between,” Grindstaff said. work very well,” Grindstaff said. “Really “I think because social anxiety seems the best thing is to get involved in theralike it’s out of proportion and unrealpy and if you can find it, a group therapy istic – and it is – it’s hard for people to intervention is the best thing to do, so understand how you can be that woryou can relate to other people who have ried, because to them it just seems like the same kind of problems that you do.” no big deal; everybody gets nervous.”

Everyone can get nervous, so how For anyone out there struggling can you tell the difference between with anxiety, just remember there jitters and the sometimes debilitating, are millions of people going through uncontrollable fear that comes with an the same thing, and there are always anxiety disorder? people who want to help. Stand up and “When a person’s anxiety is so take care of yourself. great that they start avoiding things “I think it’s really difficult to overthat they used to enjoy, that is when come, but it can be treated, it can get you know that there is a problem,” better. That’s the main thing that I Grindstaff said. “There’s this concept in would want people to know, is that if psychology about creating a functional you’re struggling with social anxiety, impairment and that means that the try to get help because you really can anxiety is really interfering with the get better,” Grindstaff said. “And the quality of your life.” longer you don’t get help, the harder it For people with social anxiety, each becomes to overcome it.” interaction with people is a challenge Sophomore Izzy Requa can be reached at requais0227@daretolearn.org.

– and a stressful one. Each day is filled

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PANIC ATTACK A symptom of panic disorder

A panic attack is characterized by sudden, debilitating feelings of anxiety and fear. According to the Fears & Anxiety Clinic at the Univeristy of Florida, roughly 2.4 million Americans experience a panic condition each year.

COMMON SYMPTOMS

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Nighthawk News Magazine / / The Mental Health Edition

Shortness of breath Trembling or shaking Feeling dizzy, lightheaded or faint Fear of dying, losing control or going crazy

1 2 3 4

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WAYS TO HELP

Stay calm

Stick around Be understanding, positive and encouraging Encourage friend to seek help

Information compiled by Julia Bachman and Shelby Miller Graphic by Arabella Saunders/Nighthawk News

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A hard pill to swallow: pharmaceuticals Pills to alleviate symptoms of ADHD can have negative effects

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By Beverly Murry Editor-in-Chief

t’s 7 a.m., the dull beep of an iPhone alarm sounds, prompting senior Alex Prior to groggily open his ice blue eyes.

He rolls out of the warm sanctuary of his bed and into the cool air of his room, stumbling down the hall into the bathroom. He takes a hot shower, gets out, dries off and gets dressed. It’s almost 8. While still in a zombie-like state of sleep, he remembers the math test he didn’t study for. He nervously bites his fingernails and considers his options. He decides, and reaches into his bedside table, grabs an orange pill bottle labeled “Adderall XR, once daily,” twists the cap off and swallows an orange 40mg pill. The rest of the day he feels numb.

Adderall is prescribed to treat ADHD – Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder – which affects the attention span and/or hyperactivity of those diagnosed. In Prior’s case, he was diagnosed with ADHD for hyperactivity. In seventh grade, his parents started to notice his inability to turn in work at school and took him to the doctor.

“They took me to a doctor because they thought I did (have ADHD) and just to try things that would help me focus better,” he recalled. “It wasn’t that I necessarily had ADHD, it was that Adderall could help me focus.”

Adderall has helped him focus, but proves to be no miracle drug.

While Adderall calms him down, it only works if Prior wants it to.

“For me it calms me down and makes me focus on what I

want to focus on. It doesn’t make me focus on just school in general, so if I don’t want to focus on school I will focus on the ceiling – I’ll just stare at the ceiling,” he said. “If it’s something I want to learn about, then I’ll focus better. When I’m on

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Photo illustration by Payton Gaddy/Shorelines Yearbook Graphic by Vega Sproul/Special to Nighthawk News Senior Alex Prior debates taking his daily pill. Taking Adderall can come with an array of side effects that can make it difficult to deal with daily life. Feeling irritable can offset the advantage of an increased attention span. my medicine I’m more motivated to do better.”

When he takes his medicine, Prior experiences symptoms of irritability and difficulty socializing. Whereas when he doesn’t take Adderall, he is more extroverted and impulsive. Those close to him immediately notice when he has taken his medicine.

“Oh yeah, people always notice,” he said with a laugh. “Especially my friends. They notice right away, by the way I look at them or say a certain thing.

In some ways it makes me feel worse because I’m always mad, but I do better in school.”

Senior Noah Turbitt, one of Prior’s closest friends, feels that while Adderall helps in a school setting it harms Prior’s ability to socialize.

“I think it’s a good thing he has something to help him focus and get his work done,” Turbitt said. “At the same time, I don’t like seeing him not talking to people, because that’s how he is when he’s off his medicine, his normal self just having fun.”

Prior has struggled with the pros and cons of taking Adderall. It helps him in school, but drastically changes his mood. Recently, Prior has avoided taking his medicine because of the side effects he has experienced and the difficulty he has remembering to take it.

“I like taking it because I do better in school and I really see improvement in how I do my work, but that’s only for a couple of months until I get used to the medicine,” he said. “It’s either do good in school and be mean to everyone or do decent in school and be myself.”

Adderall has affected more than just Prior’s social life. He has encountered similar experiences

while playing lacrosse.

“I’m more calm on my medicine so I don’t want to go after a ball, but when I’m off my medicine, I’m hyper and always running around and I don’t care about messing up,” Prior said. “When I’m on my medicine I care about messing up and it upsets me.”

Prior plans to continue taking Adderall through his freshman year of college to see if it will help him in a much different schooling environment. He wants to prove to himself and his parents that he can function without the use of Adderall.

“If I really push myself without my medicine, then it shows I can do things off of it and I don’t always need it because I can’t take it the rest of my life,” he said. “And I’m not going to, I don’t want to have my life controlled by medicine.”

Senior Beverly Murry can be reached at murrybe0316@daretolearn.org.

FEBRUARY 2018

come with unprecedented consequences Academic pressure can lead to prescription drug abuse

By Meghan Savona Opinions Editor Editor’s note: The names in this story have been changed to protect students’ identities.

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very generation seems to see the emergence of a new drug being abused, a new epidemic to fight. In the psychedelic era of the ’60s and ’70s, hallucinogens were integrated into mainstream culture; relics such as music remind us of the lackadaisical attitude toward recreational drug use.

This same attitude toward drug abuse led to President Richard Nixon declaring a “war on drugs” in the early ’70s. The ’80s glamorized the use of stimulants, and crack cocaine turned youth and adults alike into addicts.

“Heroin chic” wasn’t just the fashion of the ’90s: It was a lifestyle. With the rise of models such as Kate Moss, drug use became sexy. What it did to your body wasn’t repulsive – it was desired.

Millennials’ drug of choice seems to be prescription pills.

With a wide range of pharmaceutically controlled effects, people are able to hand pick their desired drug and feel safe about what they’re doing. From Xanax to OxyContin, the drug epidemic of the 2000s isn’t coming from the streets; it’s coming from pharmacies.

Drug users of the 2000’s don’t look like your typical addict. Adderall — a drug usually prescribed to people with ADD or ADHD — isn’t being used on the streets; it’s being used in the classroom by some of America’s brightest.

Academic pressure has caused students to seek out help focusing as a way to gain an advantage over their peers. Colleges are becoming increasingly competitive and are expecting more of high schoolers.

In order to cope with the pressure, some teenagers have turned to Adderall in hopes of gaining higher grades and test scores.

Faced with disappointment over subpar test scores, one student at First Flight turned to Adderall, buying it with the intention of just using it once.

“I was taking the SAT and the previous times I’ve taken it I’ve

Photo illustration by Buzzy Staten/Nighthawk News Graphic by Vega Sproul/Special to Nighthawk News Academic pressure can push even the brightest students to seek help from a pill bottle in an effort to maximize their ability to study. always struggled with being really tired and I could tell that affected my score. Someone was like, ‘Try Adderall. It’ll make you really hyper-focused and you’ll stay awake the whole test,’ ” James said.

“I needed my score to be a little better to get into the colleges that I wanted to, so I decided to try it. It was just the pressure of school.”

Despite the efforts to perform at a higher level, taking Adderall didn’t produce the effects that he desired; in fact, just the opposite occurred.

“My score actually went down,” James said. “I was focusing on all the wrong things. It made me think that I was performing at a higher level, but I wasn’t. That’s scary.”

Students who are already performing at an elite academic level are also likely to push themselves further in an effort to separate themselves from their peers.

Spencer, who’s in the top 10 of his class, has turned to taking Adderall sporadically to try and increase his already-impressive SAT score.

“I’ve taken it a few times and it was just to try and stay focused for the SAT or before an AP test so I could just have like a straight fourhour study session,” he said.

While it increased his attentiveness and focus, he becomes ridden with uncontrollable twitches and bad habits.

“It helped me out, but there are definitely a few noticeable side

NIGHTHAWK News Magazine / / The Mental Health Edition

effects, and I know it’s not good for your kidneys.”

Like many others, Spencer is driven by academic pressure to take Adderall, never taking it recreationally. He’s been a standout student his entire life, and is motivated to strive for better, no matter how high his scores

already are.

“I only do it because of the academic pressure,” he said. “I just want to do well and even though I’m already doing well. I turned to (Adderall) because I want to do even better.”

Because of the easy accessibility to Adderall and the primary user group – academically inclined students – the use of unprescribed Adderall has become normalized.

It’s easy for a student to say he’ll only use it a few times, but becoming addicted to Adderall isn’t something that most see coming.

When used as prescribed, Adderall can boost attention, alertness and energy. When abused, Adderall can create feelings of depression, fatigue, irritability,

decreased ability to concentrate, increased moodiness and a variety of other physical symptoms.

Because Adderall works by increasing the availability of neurotransmitters in the brain, it’s easy to become reliant on Adderall, and users can even experience heavy withdrawal symptoms.

While Adderall addiction often stems from an academic environment, it’s not easy to quit once you’re out of school. Adderall is often used to cope with a stressful work environment or home life. Abigail’s sister, Mary, became addicted to Adderall as an adult after visiting a doctor who she had heard gave out Adderall prescriptions arbitrarily.

Symptoms manifest themselves differently depending on the individual. For Mary, apathetic tendencies were the giveaway that something was wrong. Mary’s dependency on Adderall caused her to prioritize different things than she typically would’ve.

“She stopped keeping up with her house

and stopped caring about being a mom as much,” Abigail said.

Recognizing the symptoms of Adderall addiction isn’t easy.

For both the user and their family, it can be hard to admit there’s a problem and recognize that there’s a need for treatment.

“We were so worried about (Mary) and we realized something was wrong when she and her husband got into a really bad fight,” Abigail said. “That’s when she realized she needed to quit. She didn’t want to, but she went to counseling to get help to not feel like she needed (Adderall).”

A strong support system is imperative to shaking addiction – if you or someone you know needs help, call 1-877-955-9367: a free and confidential hotline for people coping with opiate addiction.

Senior Meghan Savona can be reached at savoname0701@daretolearn.org.

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you know you might have to do extra stuff to understand.”

Despite there being different ways to cope ouring over an English textbook, sophowith this learning disability, every person with more Kevin Thoms reads a paragraph for dyslexia is different, so what might work for one the second time. Letters begin to rearperson may not work for another. range themselves on the page and the “No dyslexia is the same. If I were dyslexic chatter in the background picks up as other stuand you were dyslexic, mine could be more severe dents look up from their books, already finished than yours, so I could interpret things differently with the assignment. Thoms shifts in his seat as because it’s how your brain is wired,” Simmons he struggles to decipher the words – Thoms has said. dyslexia.

Because of the impact it has had on her family, “When it first started hapSimmons decided to do her senior pening, my B’s and D’s would get project on dyslexia. During this mixed up when I was writing. For process, she learned more about the example, if I were to spell dyslexdifferent severities of dyslexia and ia, it would be ‘Bsylexia,’ ” Thoms how specific this condition is to each said. “Eventually that went away, person that has it. but I guess it got replaced with an “I learned that a lot of it is in A. I would write an eight instead of different severities. I just thought, an A.” ‘Oh, you mix up numbers and you mix Dyslexia is a general term for up your words,’ ” Simmons said. “I conditions characterized by diffithought that was how it was separatculty in learning to read or intered, but it’s actually separated by the pret words, letters, numbers and severities of it.” other symbols but do not affect Even students with mild forms of intelligence. For students with dyslexia can become frustrated with dyslexia, it takes more than just the slower pace of their reading and Kevin Thoms studying to succeed in school. writing skills.

“In eighth grade, I noticed when I would look “I just try to be patient and reread,” Thoms at a certain word, it would just rearrange the said. “Sometimes it’s frustrating. It depends on letters and I’d have to read it multiple times,” what mood you’re in; if you’re already frustrated Thoms said. “Sometimes it would be an entire about something, it will just stress you out even sentence that I’d read and be like, ‘Wait a second, more.” that doesn’t make sense.’ ” This frustration has led to a stereotype about Having three siblings with dyslexia, senior Ka- kids with this learning disability that is far from tie Simmons also knows first hand how challengthe truth. ing school can be with this learning disability.

“A lot of people say that kids that are dyslex“I think (all my siblings) realize that I don’t ic lack motivation, but it’s because they get so have that problem,” Simmons said. “They don’t frustrated and they end up lacking motivation get mad, it’s just like, ‘Why does she learn so because they’re like, ‘Everything I do is wrong. easily and we don’t?’ ” Why should I even try?’ ” Simmons said.

Dyslexia is a genetic neurological condition Through research for her project and watching simply meaning that those with this learning her own siblings work hard to understand subdisability happen to have a brain that works jects like English and math, Simmons has learned differently than most. People with dyslexia are that people with dyslexia are no different from oftentimes creative thinkers who excel in other everyone else. They are just trying to make it areas such as art, music and computer science. through school one assignment at a time.

“All of it is neurological, it’s how you’re born,” “It doesn’t change you at all. If anything, it Simmons said. “You can do stuff to overcome it, makes you have a better work ethic because you but you can’t get rid of it.” have to work harder,” Simmons said. “I feel like For some, the stress that comes with learning a lot of people generalize dyslexia as ‘you’re you have a neurological condition can be overstupid’ or ‘you’re not trying hard enough,’ but I whelming; however, Thoms had a different way of don’t think a lot of people understand that it’s all thinking about his learning disability. neurological and you can’t help it.”

Research shows that anywhere from 15 to 20 “I thought, ‘Oh crap, how am I going to deal percent of people suffer from some form of dyswith this?’ But I had been dealing with it already lexia, a statistic that leads Simmons and Thoms to so I was just like, ‘I guess I’ll figure it out as it agree that generalizations about it are why schools goes,’ ” he said.

For children with dyslexia, positive learning should increase conversation about learning disenvironments in school can help them better unabilities. With the help of their peers and teachers, derstand how to live with their condition, and pre- these students can succeed in all subjects. pare them for more advanced work in the future.

“Be patient with a person that has it (dyslex“It really just depends on what classroom ia), because if you’re partners with that person setting you’re in as a child. The reason my older and you have to read something, like in language sister went to another school is so they could arts or English, it’s gonna get a little frustrating,” teach her how to learn with her dyslexia,” SimThoms said. mons said. “If you’re taught well as a student Junior Hunter Haskett can be reached at hasketgrowing up, you know how your brain learns and thu0318@daretolearn.org.

February 2018

My parents broke up, but I am not broken

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If divorce means splitting, this is the point in which my life diverges.

- Caroline Jenkins

Nighthawk Notions Caroline Jenkins

am paralyzed. With what exactly, I’m not sure. Maybe it is the fear of the future, or the consternation of the present. If divorce means splitting, this is the point in which my life diverges.

I have never seen my mom so nervous and completely terrified. I feel the pit in my stomach lurch with fear because I know what she is going to say before the words even pass her lips.

I tell myself I am ready, but the reality of those earth-shattering words is something I know I can never truly prepare for. So I sit here on my navy-and-white-striped couch and look into the faces of my family members. All of those faces painted with the pain of our shared lives being fractured, splintering at the seams.

Later, I lay on my floor and stare at the posters hanging on my wall. I think about the tremendous change my life has just undergone.

I am petrified for what the future holds.

At age 12, I know I will never be the same.

Because even though the room holding all my things will remain the same, the life filling that room is permanently altered. My childhood will become a matter of separating things among my two parents, distinguishing Mom from Dad. The only word I can think to describe it all is “strange.” I will move into a separate house, while still also staying at my old one. I will live the same as everyone else, but I will have two of everything. Two toothbrushes, two bathrooms, two showers, two lamps, two beds, two rooms, two houses – two parents once together, now divided.

The truth Looking back, I was unprepared. I was not ready for what divorce meant for my family.

It meant my mom moving out and my dad, brother and I staring at her empty chair at the dinner table, no one discussing how her absence bore a deep hole through us all.

It meant sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar house, in a now unfamiliar life.

It meant I felt I had to tiptoe around everyone, terrified of toppling the already unbal-

Illustration by Jackie Kuhn/Special to Nighthawk News anced scale.

I felt guilty. I appreciated every second spent with each of my parents separately, because my time with each of them was cut in half. Can you imagine what that pressure feels like? I felt guilty when I couldn’t spend that time with each of them, like I was somehow robbing them of something they deserved.

I felt alone. Even though my brother was going through the same thing, we faced this by ourselves, unable to express to each other the sadness we felt separately.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone about what I had been through because I didn’t think anyone else would understand, and maybe that’s true.

But I also know so many others go through the same thing, and you’re not alone.

It was so hard for me to reach out and discuss my parents’ divorce until much later. I needed that time to deal with it alone, marking the period in which I was first independent, those initial steps in finding myself.

The importance of perception I also know divorcing my dad was the hardest decision for my mom to ever make. If

Nighthawk News Magazine / / The Mental Health Edition

she had the strength to do this, then I had the strength to get past it. Because at the end of the day, I had two parents who loved me and that’s all that mattered; everything else just gave me courage to face the future.

I now have a newfound sense of who I am and I can now count on myself to surpass the obstacles of life.

In order to learn from the experiences you’ve had, you must accept the fact they happened. I can now say the divorce of my parents changed me into someone entirely different. I learned from an early age that life is not at all perfect – and neither is the idea of family. Understanding that life is neither fair, simple or flawless makes me view things differently.

I’ve learned to appreciate what I am given and what things I am so grateful to have. I’ve also learned to not take my parents for granted and to cherish every moment I have with the both of them. Life is full of being hit with catastrophic news and all those moments that will alter your perception of the world entirely.

I choose to not let my parents’ divorce define me, but make me stronger and a greater person than who I was before.

Caroline Jenkins can be reached at jenkinsca0616@daretolearn.org.

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Getting help SUICIDE HOTLINE:

1-800-273-8255 TREATMENT REFERRAL HOTLINE: 1-877-726-4727

TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR: GET REFERRALS TO MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS

REACH OUT:

TALK TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND COUNSELORS 16

FEBRUARY 2018