Ocelot 132 June 2017 edition

No: 132 June 2017

Wiltshire, Oxfordshire and West Berkshire

Free

The Return of the Chip Chip Daddy headlines our special 11th birthday Night of The Ocelot on Thursday June 29 at The Vic in Swindon p52

What's on

/ STYLE / EATS / BREWS / SCREEN / TECH

#132 For Starters

JUNE ISSUE

04 Michael Bosley + Luke Coleman 08 Encyclopaedia Oceloticca 09 Running for my life 10 The Bassett Rivers Echo 12 Writers Block Lifestyle

16 Get a Life 18 Get Away 20 Style 22 Tech 24 Screenzone Brews and Eats

28 Wine not?

29 Brewery Bird 30 History of Doughnuts 31 Recipe 32 Cheese and Chilli Festival Arts and Culture

34 The Theatre List 35 Corn Exchange 36 Swindon Museum and Art Gallery 38 Cowley Road Carnival 39 Fringe at the Old Town Festival Music

40 Festivals galore 48 The Tribe 49 The Ocelot Presents 50 O2 Academy 51 Gig Monkey 52 The Night of The Ocelot 55 Level III 56 The Gig List The Final Bit of the magazine

62 Agony Girl and toon

It’s our birthday!

Last year we celebrated our tenth birthday. That’s a whole decade of Ocelot mayhem.

And to celebrate it... we didn’t actually do that much.

So this year we’re going to be righting a wrong. A wrong that was done to all of our readers by the fact that we didn’t hold an awesome event to celebrate ten years of Ocelotshire.

It’s our11th birthday this month. If we were a child we would now be starting secondary school where in keeping with our ethos we would sit at the back occasionally yelling facetious remarks at the increasingly frustrated teacher (who’s a tiny bit confused that he or she has a regional magazine as one of their pupils).

So we’re more than making up for it this month and will be holding the party to end all parties until the next party.

We’ve got some fantastic acts coming along to make it something special.

There’s the ever-impressive mellow pop vibe of Oli Norman kicking things off easing you into the evening.

He’s followed by the brilliantly funny selfproclaimed King of the West Country Corky.

And then to cap it all off we have the amazing Chip Daddy who is not only a Youtuber (as the kids call it nowadays) but has been touring with Goldie Lookin’ Chain and is the best thing to come out of Devizes since a limerick that I won’t mention here.

Write in to me at jamie@theocelot.co.uk

Jamie Hill

Editor: Jamie Hill - jamie@theocelot.co.uk Deputy: Ben Fitzgerald - ben@theocelot.co.uk Listings: Mike Barham - mike@theocelot.co.uk Sales: Dave Stewart dave@theocelot.co.uk - 07872 176999 Rosy Presley rosy@theocelot.co.uk 07717 501790 Telephone: 01793 781986 Publisher: Positive Media Group, Unit 3, Arclite House, Peatmoor, Swindon SN5 5YN Printers: Stephens & George, Merthyr Tydfil

For Starters A Nerd’s Last Word by Michael Bosley

The comments sections of many websites and social media platforms are rife with waring groups of curmudgeonly commentators, poised to offer a contrary opinion on any and every subject imaginable. They’ll often go out of their way to join pages and view posts that aren’t to their tastes simply to express how much they disagree with them. They’re petty, unhappy and full of their own sense of self-importance; and now you can be one of these people too! Here’s how: 1. Become unnecessarily offended by something innocuous or inoffensive Being offended by things is your bread and butter as a comments agitator. Go as far out of your way as possible to find things that could offend you and tell everyone how much it offends you. Some people may tell you to “f*ck off and get a life”, to which the obvious reply should be “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

2. Pertain to be an expert on a subject you hastily looked up on Wikipedia It’s easy to be an expert when you have the whole entire internet in your hands. A quick Google can bolster your biased opinion better than any studied facts or personal experience can. Reel off very specific facts, numbers and statistics as if you’ve just plucked them out of your head and you’ll come across as a real authority on the subject and not at all like a complete ass.

3. Present anecdotal accounts as hard facts The only way you’ll ever convince these simpletons that immigration is bad for this country is to reel off the tale about that one time your mum said she saw someone who “looked a bit foreign” take a vest top off the hanger in Primark and put it in her bag. If this happened to your mum, it’s most definitely happening to everyone else in the

How to win an internet argument world and therefore immigration is bad. Let’s see them try and poke a hole in that solid evidence!

4. Go on the attack The only way you’ll effectively invalidate the other person’s arguments is to draw the subject away from the main argument and instead make derogatory comments about their appearance or other traits based on their profile pictures or post history. “Your dog looks dumb, just like you” or “I can’t take you seriously when you drive a Vauxhall Corsa” are all good examples.

5. Go nuclear It’s the ugly final solution. When all else fails and the whole forum has ganged up against you and mocking you for your poor grammar and ridiculous opinions, it’s time to HIT THAT CAPS-LOCK AND GO INTO FULL MELTDOWN MODE, YOU DUMB ASS SUCKING CUCK!!!

Tragedy in Iraq Off The Grid with Luke Coleman - Our man in Iraq Do you know what? Fuck it. I try to be relentlessly upbeat about Iraqi life in this column, even when describing the horrors undertaken by the shit-flinging spunk trumpets that revel in murder and chaos. But sometimes it’s all too close to home, or indeed the office.

I arrived at work after the weekend yesterday, and was happy to see our video editor. Aws is a man of little, but sufficient English, and we enjoy each other’s company, be it editing my little films or seeing off a bottle of scotch.

He wasn’t in the office at the end of last week, and I learned that his wife was giving birth. I hadn’t even known they were expecting. As I poured a coffee I offered congratulations, because that’s what you do. “She gone,” he said. “What,” I countered, fearing the worst. “She dead.”

“Dude….” I put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

What can you say? There are no words for that. Of course I felt embarrassed, but more I just couldn’t empathise with Aws’ grief and stoicism.

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Then this morning’s review of overnight Twitter delivered the news that poet, warrior and humanitarian Shaheen had succumbed overnight to wounds sustained when he was hit by a sniper in Mosul last week. A Yazidi, Shaheen’s footage of rescuing a young boy is the genesis and centre of our film. He was shot rescuing a Sunni Muslim girl. May Shaheen, and Aws’ daughter, rest in peace.

Science Fact: You must remember this...

by Ben Fitzgerald

I remember it well...

Our memories are like a video tape, faithfully recording everything that we have experienced - these impressions are then filed carefully away so that we can retrieve them whenever we want. Or are they?

It might surprise you to learn that this might not be quite the case. Apparently our brains adapt and mould memories to make sense of the world after the event - often filling in the blanks, changing key events and bending the truth. It turns out that our memories might be more like those VHS tapes after all, perhaps one that has been left out in the sun for too long - where the playback is barely discernible through the haze of crackle and weird green and purple colours.

One of the pioneers of research into the flimsy nature of our recall is Elizabeth Loftus who began conducting a variety of experiments in the 1970s. One of her early studies made a focus of the use of language and how this could be used to influence our recollection of events.

In her test, 45 participants were asked to watch different videos of a car accident.

Afterwards they were asked to fill out a survey. Some were asked: “How fast were the cars going when they smashed into each other?”

Others were asked the same question but the word ‘smashed’ was substituted with ‘bumped’.

Simply by changing the language, those taking part in the

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experiment were found to have remembered the speed of the collision differently.

The researchers then asked the participants if they had seen any broken glass, knowing that there was no broken glass in the video.

Most of those in the “smashed” group said they had seen broken glass.

The study indicated that phrasing of a question could alter our memory recall. Weird eh?

And also a little worrying considering it is memory that some might consider to be the very essence ofwhat makes us individuals.

Other studies show a similar effect, for example if you ask how tall they remember a person being, people tend to give a higher answer than if they were asked how short that same person is.

False memories are often shared by many people, with those false ideas becoming stronger in people’s minds through the

powerful effect of mass consensus of opinion. There are many examples that people have shared online.

One of the best I have discovered is the fact that C3-P0, the golden droid from Star Wars actually has a silver leg - I kid you not - from his knee to his foot. And he always has had, even in 1977!

Films and television are a particularly rich source of these false memories, try these for size: Life is like a box of chocolates Forrest Gump.

Doesn’t say it. He says life was like a box of chocolates.

Sex in the City - no such series - it’s actually called Sex and the City.

Luke I am your Father - Darth Vader. Nope, he actually says “No, I am your Father.”

Also, I remember The Young Ones being incredibly hilarious - I saw an episode on YouTube the other day… it was no longer incredibly hilarious.

We’re through the looking glass people.

Running for my Life

No pressure then!

In January Ocelot editor Jamie Hill, at an impressive 18 stone of fattiness, announced that he planned to lose three stone in six months and would be running the first ever Birmingham Marathon in October in aid of charity ICP Support.

By Jamie Hill Peaks and troughs is what it’s been about recently in this ridiculous running task that I’ve set for myself this year.

Over the last month I’ve started to ramp up the mileage. In fact I’ve done so much mileage that I must be coming up to the my next service soon. And my legs definitely need a service.

The peaks were many as I managed to run further than I have done in years with an impressive six miles clocked in one of my runs.

But the troughs keep coming thick and fast.

I’ve had to give up on the weight loss part of my challenge as it was simply too demotivating.

Those blasted scales don’t seem to see sense whatever I do. In fact they like to wind me up by going backwards at regular intervals.

And each time I step on the scales I feel all of my willpower seep out of me and the sofa beckoning again like an old neglected friend.

So from now on it’s not about the weight. It’s about the running and getting those miles up.

It’s less than five months now until I have to run The Birmingham Marathon and I’m getting pretty worried about it. It might seem like a long time but it weirdly seems to be getting closer with each passing day. Funny that.

Another trough is how the runs leave me feeling in the aftermath.

I turn into a half-functioning being.

Essentially a drained husk of a man who can’t form a coherent thought. Most people don’t notice the difference but it’s made making

Warning: A common sight on Swindon streets is this sweaty running man

conversation hard at social events.

It’s usually only on the day of a run that I feel like this so that’s only four days a week then!

But then something nice happens and it lifts me again.

This month I got a lovely message from Jenny Chambers who runs the charity ICP Support who I’m doing this for.

She said: “Jamie, fundraising is hard at the best of times and as our condition doesn’t affect that many women a year I think it’s even harder, even though the repercussions of ICP affect family and friends and not just the women.

“I have been asked to speak at a conference on loss, this year and my title is, ‘The legacy of grief’. It will address how the impact of a death of a child lasts a lifetime - you never ‘get over’ it, just better at coping with the loss.

“It’s that grief that has fuelled

what I do for the charity and with trying to ensure that all ICP babies arrive safely, but as the latest member in our Precious Memories group (for bereaved ICP parents and families) can tell you - we aren’t there yet.

“So keep going, you really are doing brilliantly and those of us who don’t want other women to go through what we did are very, very grateful to you.”

It helped me to remember that I’m doing this to raise money for ICP Support - a charity that is close to my heart as my three children might not be here if it wasn’t for them.

In case you didn’t know ICP Support helps sufferers of Intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy (ICP), also known as obstetric cholestasis (OC), which is the most common liver condition specific to pregnancy.

No pressure then!

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Bassett

The

Rivers Scary news for scary times...

Terminator arrested for non payment of council tax See full story p65

Echo

Idiot blames toaster not working on ‘all those foreigners coming over here burning our bread...’

by Kit Chentable

VILLAGE idiot Ronald Trump, no relation, is threatening to single-handedly build a wall around Bassett Rivers to keep all those ‘foreigners’ out.

The idiot, who lives on Doze Etwat Drive, believes that the immigrants, who he classes as anyone who lives more than five miles away, are to blame for his toaster not working, the loss of his left shoe and the slow corrosion of all matter in the universe due to the influence of a black hole in the Andromeda system on the other side of the Milky Way. He said: “All these foreigners coming over here are making my life a misery. The other day I got out of bed and stubbed my toe on a nearby chair. It really hurt. It must of been foreigners as they must of put the chair purposely in my way when I was asleep.

“They do it all the time. They come in my house, steal

my odd socks and and my left shoe and move things around whilst I’m asleep. I have a mate who thinks I’m confusing immigrants with borrowers but if they are borrowers, I bet they’re foreign borrowers as British borrowers would never touch a man’s toaster.”

According to an anonymous source, close to Mr Trump, no relation, the fear of foreigners started in June 2016 during the referendum campaign.

The friend, Michael Bawrham, said: “Ronald, no relation, got really agitated during the referendum and started blaming foreigners for everything and he hasn’t really stopped since. I tried to tell him that our creaking infrastructure and society’s inequality was more to do with austerity rather than scapegoating mass immigration but he wouldn’t listen. He blames foreigners for everything now. Even the Bee Gees.

“Hang on. Aren’t I meant to be anonymous?”

New hipster cafe revealed to be just a bearded man sitting on a bike drinking coffee Bassett Rivers MP Giles Hetherington-Smythe’s Column

By Livi Ngroom A NEW cafe due to open next week in Market Street, Bassett Rivers has caused controversy after it was revealed that it is just a bearded man sitting a bicycle drinking coffee.

The concept, thought up by entrepreneur Melvin Bogtrotter, is the first of its kind in the UK. Melvin said: “The idea is that you buy your coffee, or fruit infused tea, and then watch as a bearded man on a bicycle drinks it in front of you.

“People have so many pressures on their lives at the moment when it comes to time

and energy so the idea is that it saves you the bother of having to drink your hot beverage yourself but it still has the benefit of lightening your wallet quite considerably saving you from having to walk around with all those heavy £10 notes weighing you down. It’s quite a service.

“We have quite an extensive menu on offer from otter-infused lightly whipped triple Mochas to teas infused with the armpit sweat of a 55 year-old Tibetan Monk. I can say with confidence they are the best beverages on the market at the moment that you will never get to taste.”

He-Man to undergo gender reassignment surgery p75

So far this election I’ve managed to do rather well in not having to meet a single one of you.

I mean no disrespect but as your prospective Tory MP, I don’t really have anything in common with any of you.

I mean, I can’t exactly chew the fat with you about my yacht moored off St Lucia or the fact that my Gentlemen’s Club has become so elitist that you now have to have a double-barrelled name just to work there.

As your MP, I really don’t want to spend any time with you at all. I don’t care that your weekly bin collection has become fortnightly.

What do you want me to do about it?

I’m also aware that a lot of you eat things like mini banoffee pies from Iceland and have names like Gary and Dave.

I just don’t know you and don’t know where you have been. In fact you all disgust me.

As you can tell I’m taking a leaf out of the book of our glorious leader Theresa May this election time by trying my utmost to not spend any time at all meeting the people that I’m meant to represent. I’m also using another strategy of hers which is to be refreshingly honest with you.

She carried it off quite well by saying that whether you’re a toddler or an old person under her Government you will be royally buggered and people have taken it quite well.

It’s bizarre really and is definitely the strangest election I’ve ever been in.

In normal elections you’re expected to lie but whatever we do, no matter how bad, the press and the BBC still makes us smell like roses.

Whilst at the same time, Labour are going out there with policies that will see a much better and fairer society but everything they say is getting absolutely vilified.

They costed everything in their manifesto and got vilified.

We didn’t cost a single thing and no-one said a word. Sometimes I love my country.

Toodle pip!

Writers Block

Part 4: Trip Advisor, Oaxaca and the End of the World In the fourth of a series of articles Tobias Baughan blogs about a life-changing trip to Mexico.

A tropical virus is on the loose.

I somewhat suspect that my inability to spell, remember or pronounce the name of this terrible affliction will not be enough to save me, like a child playing hide and seek who shuts his eyes and declares himself invisible, should it genuinely come my way.

But that’s not the only thing that could be scary: El Chapo the Mexican drug lord and 16th richest man in the world - whose nickname translates somewhat unreverentially as ‘shorty’ or ‘the dwarf’ - has escaped from jail while I’ve been here, and there will always be emperor Montezuma of the Aztecs who still makes travellers want to poo themselves today...

Speaking to my friend Toby through email I ask him to send me his travel blog, reading it and laughing loudly, then worrying if it’s better than mine. My travel writing isn’t enough like normal travel writing, I also worry, to myself, looking over what I’ve done so far with no obvious revelation coming as a result. Have I done things justice when you take into account all the ordinary Mexican people trying to make a living, a living which is helped greatly by tourists coming here? I

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do not want to sell the country I’m visiting short.

Sitting in the courtyard of the Casa Arnel Hotel, Oaxaca City, filled with the hysterical sounds of parroting birds, I think back over my recent adventures, trying to compile ‘Trip Advisor’ reviews on the areas I have visited themselves, while a cockatiel in one of the cages lies prostrate having fallen from its perch. Shutting out everything I start to write...

Number One: Mazunte Accompanying me now on the trip is Xavier Kennedy, a distant relative of JFK, supporting host on a Mexican panel game show, and an all round nice guy, who would therefore get a positive rating from me on trip advisor.

Together we go to Mazunte, a quiet paradise where we nestle in the hills above the beach, birds singing in the day and insects croaking at night, huge waves rolling in. On the cliffs above the beach the coves beyond reveal themselves, views beautiful in every direction, and each evening travellers look out at the sunset.

The sun down, the sea invisible in all but the sound of its rise and fall, little crabs come out onto the streets and scuttle beneath the tables in bars as if looking for a seat...

On the second day we hop

onto the public transport, a canopied pickup truck. Taking a tour of the mangroves on the long wobbling boat we paddle past territorial crocodiles, seabirds, turtles and fish, while iguanas clamber down from the trees to eat the greens thrown ashore by our hosts.

Five out of five on Trip Advisor. ...I look up briefly from my iPad, distracted by the shrieking of cockatiels in the hotel courtyard remembering my sudden descent to the ocean floor in the sea at Mazunte, the waves pulling me under insistently, crushing and sandblasting me against the beach floor. Alive I emerge dazed and bleeding like a drunken man from a fight against a trained boxer.

Xavier is concerned and asks me if I’m ok, to which I reply yes and how about a beer.

Number Two: Puerto Escondido Puerto Escondido, the hidden port as it translates. The sea dominates all here, a special spot for surfers, a land of utopian dude... Away from this main beach, the stretch of Zicatela, where the waves are so famously large that swimming is forbidden, lies Carrizalillo: a perfect, tiny bay, where the sea rolls in like bedsheets smoothed across a mattress.

Above the beach, climbing the long stone stairs from this spot

Writers Block

to a quieter corner of town sits a long row of cafes, shops and bars: a pleasure to walk along from one end to the other. I was laid low here, sick as a sea dog, either Montezuma or the chef at fish tacos had finally got the best of me...

I’d recommend coming here. It might just be bad luck that I got food poisoning here, but I’m still going to give this place 4/5 for Zicatela and 5/5 for Carrizalillo. ...I wish those cockatiels would shut up, I think, looking up again from my iPad. I remembered speaking to someone at this hotel earlier, and all they wanted to talk about was the end of the world because of the Internet, global warming and globalisation by 2300, can you imagine? I listened calmly and told him that when you predict something like that you have to look at the whole picture, something any one human can’t objectively. No one really knows what’s going on. He was well meaning but wrong thinking. I told him he didn’t know what he was talking about and left.

Number Three: Oaxaca I arrive in Oaxaca and head straight for my hotel in Jalatlaco, a quiet cobbled district, in which it’s easy to become lost, and which I proceed to, knowing I am only a few hundred metres from

the hotel, but having no idea how to get there.

This district has a beautiful church, in which a full service with choir is underway when I arrive, I think, looking through the entrances into the golden light, noting there are several entrances to the church but none I can see for my hotel... no wonder people go to church. I spend the next two evenings eating at Mi Maria Bonita a great place for tacos over the road with 160+ likes on Facebook, where the meat is prepared using an old family recipe, now served with the military speed and precision of a soldier assembling their rifle by a mother, daughter and son team.

Oaxaca as a state is well known for food in general and chocolate specifically, as well as mescal, a drink made by doing a lot of crazy things to the agave cactus: it’s a great drink which also makes the drinker go loco. I am bowled over by Oaxaca City to begin with, the Zocalo square at its centre so busy even on a Tuesday evening that my brain almost shuts down through not being able to take in the colours, people, noise and movement of the place.

By day I take in some cultural sights - museum of Oaxacan

cultures, the cathedral - while at night I wander the Alcala, a pedestrianised street at the heart of the city, filled with cafes, bars, craft shops and children selling multipack items including cigarettes as singles with a reasonably marked up price. Strong images burn in my mind here from the market on November 20 which seems almost as if it is on fire (because it almost is) as I ate barbecued meat, chillies and onions; not to mention the processions of decorated taxis for their blessing; the mass bike riding at night and the dark clouds pouring over the hills. So far: 5/5. ... I look up again and the squawking birds have quietened down and the cockatiel I had thought was at death’s door (banging its head at the entrance on its way through) is back on its perch. Very much alive.

I’d finished my reviews.

PS. I saw the ‘the end of the world’ guy the next morning too, regretting the vision I had created of him in my mind as he chatted to a family at breakfast about fruit.

They all seemed happy, and so was I listening to him talk about how fruit falls from the tree, when it’s ready. It wasn’t long, however, before he was talking about the end of the world again.

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Get a life

A little cross

By Ben Fitzgerald It’s your chance to change the future on June 8 - drop whatever.

Simply by wielding those stubby little pencils they give you in the polling booth you can control your fate and that of millions of your fellow country persons - including those much talked about ‘ordinary working families’ who live ‘up and down the country’.

Through casting your vote, you can exercise your democratic right to shape society the way you want it to be…

Well that’s the promise, but it’s not really the case is it?

Let’s not kid ourselves, as a voter you are being offered just two options - Tory or Labour.

That’s it. Sorry about that.

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Your other political parties The Greens, The UKIPs, The Lib Dems, The Monster RLPs and so forth are like snails in a French restaurant.

It’s good to know they are on the menu (in fact you would be really annoyed if they weren’t..) but there’s no point in choosing them as your main meal.

This is a problem.

We do have a choice, but it’s like going into a sweetshop and being offered peanut M&Ms or

the chocolate M&Ms. “What about Revels?” I hear you cry, “Where’s the Curley Wurly?”

Our first past the post system means that second and third place count for nothing in each constituency.

This means that the winning party could well have fewer votes than the second placed party. This should be changed right? Surely all those second and third place votes should count for something?

Certainly those in the parties that come third or fourth support the idea of change (well they would say that wouldn’t they?)

But the parties that take it in turns to come first and second don’t agree (well they would say that wouldn’t they?).

Get a life

about voting Change could only come about if we were able to vote one of those third of fourth placed parties into power (which you can’t) but imagine if you could… well no, it still wouldn’t happen because finding themselves in power they wouldn’t want to weaken their own position on the top of the pile. The system is a problem and is about as representative of the individual’s wishes as a hard of hearing grandparent who insists on dolloping yet another helping of unwanted salmon mousse on your plate.

There are other voting systems out there which attempt to represent your wishes more proportionately but they have their issues as well.

But.. and (like Beyonce) it’s

a big but, let’s remember the alternative is worse. Much worse. Moaning about the nuances of proportional representation is very much a first world problem.

Of the world’s 192 countries, a staggering 69 are nondemocratic. And of those 123 democratic countries only 19 are classified as full democracies.

These figures are compiled by the Democracy Index, an index compiled by the UK-based Economist Intelligence Unit.

Look it up - you may be surprised to learn that the UK does not even make it into the top ten democracies - we’re 16th, just below Malta.

It’s a little like the Eurovision Song Contest, although unlike the Eurovision contest it’s Norway

that is in the top spot.

When June 8 comes around, I know it might be a slight faff to drag yourself out to a local school hall to put a cross on a bit of paper.

This is the deal - you’re allowed to moan about politics, but only if you vote. In most places around the world people are not allowed to moan - they have to remain relentlessly cheerful and on message.

In the UK we have inherited moaning as a birthright, in fact we invented it, it’s our greatest contribution to the wider world.

There is nothing more powerful than a well placed ‘tut’ or a roll of the eyes.

And it’s a lot less of a bother than having to stand alone in front of a Chinese tank.

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Get Away

Fabulous Fowey

By Sue Roberts The 2 AA Rosette Fowey Hotel first opened its doors to visitors in 1881 – the beautiful original antique lift complete with gated doors is still in operation today.

Grand and imposing, it stands majestically on the south side of the Fowey estuary offering stunning views across to Polruan. There are also terraced gardens adjacent to the hotel and across the road.

On our arrival the weather had taken a turn for the worst, but this did not dampen our spirits having been shown to a huge ‘Executive Sea View Room’ (around £250 for dinner, bed and breakfast for two) on the top floor with the most spectacular views across and along the estuary.

Parking is very limited, due to the geography of the location, and has to be booked in advance at a cost of £10 per day. Despite no parking space available, we were able to unload the car at the hotel and then drive to the main pay and display car park.

A word of warning – this might be a difficult location for elderly or less able visitors as the roads are very steep leading up to the car park and the town in general.

The room was furnished traditionally and simply, in keeping with the age and style of the hotel.

Complimentary toiletries in the bathroom (complete with whirlpool bath), and bathrobe and slippers laid neatly on the bed were waiting for us – as was a bottle of chilled Cornish Knightmor sparking cuvee!

Having freshened up it was time for dinner, in the bright, airy, dining room complete with chandeliers.

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Elegant surroundings: the Fowey Hotel boasts sumptious surroundings

We were shown to a window table so had a brilliant view of the torrential rain!

Dinner was all you would expect and more – imaginative menu, well prepared and presented with attentive but discreet service. Soft background piano and saxophone music added a relaxing air to the dining experience.

I chose roast butternut risotto with sage, bacon and rocket which was creamy, delicious and just the right amount for a starter.

My husband’s pan seared Cornish scallops also got the thumbs up. Our main courses of butter baked breast of chicken and roast fillet of pollock, served with the most delicate of accompaniments, were a delight. Yes, we did manage a dessert – a buttermilk panna cotta with rhubarb and orange, and ducks egg custard tart with apple puree and cinnamon ice cream, both of which were simply delicious.

We ended the meal with

floater coffees and petit fours relaxing in one of the two lounges – which leads through to a bar with a mind boggling choice of gins. After a good night’s sleep we woke to brilliant sunshine, drew back the curtains and were simply stunned by the amazing view that greeted us – there are not enough superlatives to describe it!

Breakfast was again served in the dining room, but this time with sun shining and shimmering on the water. The menu offered all the usual breakfast staples plus a few specialities such as eggs benedict and smoked salmon and scrambled eggs.

We stuck with tradition and opted for the full breakfast with toast and coffee.

We checked out feeling we had been temporarily transported back to the Victorian age of elegance and will never forget those stunning views.

To book or for more information visit www.thefoweyhotel.co.uk or call 01726 832551

Get Away

The Fowey Hotel affords stunning views of the estury. Visitors can relax in elegant surroundings and enjoy excellent food in the hotel restaurant

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Style

r you Get yer wellies out! It’s festival time and you’ll be wanting to look your best whether you are making shapes in the dance tent till dawn or spending lazy afternoons enjoying live tunes.

With each festival having its own kind of vibe here’s our roundup of style by festival feeling. l Boho Chic Go with the boho chic vibe with charm bracelets, shell jewellery, oversized hats, patterned yoga pants/leggings, and long flowing skirts and dresses.

Get this look with: The Maze Dress by Bijoux Indiscrets, prices vary, from www. bijouxindiscrets.com Boom Boom The Label Wrap Choker £15.00 from www. boomboomthelabel.com Sorel Joanie Gladiator Sandal Boots £150, from www. sorelfootwear.co.uk Nellie & Dove bl-nk London Jrevisa Coverup £130, from www.nell HYPERLINK www. nellieanddove.com Festivals with this style: Secret Garden Party, Festival No.6, Green Man, Kendal Calling, Latitude, Port Eliot, Belladrum, End of the Road. l Happy and Hippy Typical happy and hippy festival

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styles include tie-die, ethical and sustainable fabrics, cut off jeans, fringes, tassels, colourful fabrics, beads, henna, bright yoga pants/ leggings.

Key items to try: Havaianas Womens High Light II Flip Flops, £30.00 from www. havaianas-store.com K&K Labs Skinny Rainbow Turtle Print Scarf, £127.00 from www. kklabs.co.uk Bourn Nouli Leggings, £65.00 from www.bornnouli.com Boody Organic Bamboo Eco Tank Top, £13.95 from www.boody. co.uk Festivals with this style: Glastonbury, WOMAD, Wilderness, Cornbury, Into The Wild, Fairport’s Cropredy Convention, Camp Bestival, Nozstock, Isle of Wight. l On Trend For top festival fashion go on trend and with the latest festival friendly looks including ankle length wellies, dungarees, hi-tops, roll sleeve t-shirts, leisure wear, street style wear and nail art.

For this festival season’s looks go for: Brand Attic Threadbare Quays Tricot Track Top, £28.00 from www.brandattic.com Havaianas Mens Brasil Mix Flip Flops, £22.00 from www. havaianas-store.com

Brand Attic Distressed Oversize Hoodie, £24.00 from www. brandattic.com Helly Hansen W Kirkwall Festival Poncho, £80.00, from www. hellyhansen.com Festivals with this style: V, Reading, Leeds, Boardmasters, Blissfields, Tramlines, One Love, T in the Park, Hyde Park, Creamfields, Wireless, Bestival, Tokyo World, NASS. l Go To Festival Fashion This festival ready look suits all festivals so if in doubt opt for this key style theme including straw hats, denim shorts, band t-shirts, full length wellies, wellie socks, walking boots. Get the look with: Wolky Biker Boots, £89.99, from www.wolkyshop.co.uk Brand Attic Threadbare Basic Belted Chino Shorts £18.00 from www.brandattic.com Helly Hansen W Thalia Dress £60.00, from www.hellyhansen. com Heatholders Wellington Boots Socks £9.99, from www. heatholders.co.uk Festivals with this style: All of them including Boomtown Fair, Fieldview, 2000 Trees, Looe, Beautiful Days, Victorious, Camp Leopallooza, Download, Y-Not, Wychwood, Hazy Days.

By fashion writer Gina Akers

Style

From top clockwise: Tricot Track Top, Wellington Boots Socks, Chino Shorts, Oversize Hoodie, Eco Tank Top, Maze Dress, Turtle Print Scarf, Gladiator Sandal, Brazil Mix flipflop, Label wrap choker, Light II flipflops, Born Nouli Leggings, Wolky Biker Boots, Jrevisa Coverup. Opposite page Kirkwall Poncho (right) and Talia Dress.

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Tech

Jet suit invention

By Ben Fitzgerald The dream of flying around like a superhero has taken a giant leap forward - thanks to the single minded vision of an inventor from Wiltshire.

Richard Browning, 38, has stunned audiences around the world after posting incredible footage of himself hovering above the ground and manoeuvring around a farmyard in a jet-powered Iron Man style flight suit.

And now he has been showcasing his startling invention around the world.

Former City oil trader Richard explained: “I’m a believer in the genuine spirit of how innovation takes place. For me it is all about spending less time arguing about whether something is possible and more on working out how to make something work.”

Richard, who lives in Salisbury, explained that his idea - dubbed

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the Daedalus suit by his eight year old son Thomas - grew out of a series of conversations with like-minded enthusiasts.

He explained “It sort of developed out of one of those pub conversations. I was looking at ways that you could augment the human body - working with that as a starting point and trying to make that better.

“When you think about it, with the human brain you already have the most powerful computer that is currently in existence. If you can harness that, then you are already onto a winner. My flying suit does not need any gyroscopes, because the brain itself if incredibly good at making those micro adjustments.

This can be proved if you think about the complex calculations needed to make something walk without falling over. The human brain is instinctively able to make

all the necessary adjustments.”

He explained that the exoskeleton suit had been evolved over the past couple of years in a careful step-bystep evolution, with a series of increasingly ambitious test flights in a farm in Wiltshire.

“We started out with just one thruster. I initially wanted to see if it was possible to stand there and hold the thruster. Some people said that it would be incredibly dangerous but it was absolutely fine, no shredded arms, no burns - it was then that I knew we were onto something.

“I’ve got to the point now where I can fly around without too much conscious thought - it’s a bit like when you use one of those small diggers, to start with you are looking at moving the levers and thinking too much about which lever to move to produce which effect, but after a while you just think about what

takes off

you want to move and your brain makes it happen. It’s like that with Daedalus suit.”

Although safety is at the forefront of his flight demonstrations, the suit is capable of flying at 200 mph and cruising at an altitude of a few thousand feet with a current flight duration of around ten minutes.

“Given that you are looking at temperatures of 700 degrees centigrade from the exhaust, it’s remarkable that you don’t get burned. But the heat very quickly dissipates in the air - the technology works.”

The project is being taken forward under a startup company Gravity which has had huge interest from commercial and military representatives.

The firm has had a lot of interest from investors, including a recent investment of £600,000 from Tim Draper, an American

venture capitalist.

No stranger to danger, the Royal Marine Reservist threw himself into getting into shape to meet the demands of humanguided flight by embarking on a gruelling regime of physical training alongside developing the design of the Daedalus flight suit.

“People ask me what’s the point - and I reply that I’ve done this for exactly the same reason that you might look at a mountain and decide to climb it. After all,

Tech

what’s the point of a jetski? There isn’t one, but they are great fun.

I’m doing this for the journey and the challenge.”

Most children think their dad is a superhero, but for Richard’s two sons, Thomas, 8, and Oliver 10, their claim is closer to the truth than most.

When Oliver was asked what he thinks about his dad, he just had one word “Awesome”.

And here at the Ocelot, we agree.

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Screenzone: TV Silicon Valley: Proper nerdage

Revenge of the Nerds

Screen Grab A TV column by Jamie Hill The IT Crowd started it all off.

Before their antics, nerds and scientists were only good for one thing in TV land. And one thing only.

Think of the countless films and telly programmes where the main muscled hero would turn to his nerdy IT colleague for an explanation and what would follow is a massive info dump about stuff we didn’t care about as long as it gave the hero enough information so he could take his muscled frame to the next scene where he would repeatedly smash a few more goons around the head before getting the girl and giving a little twinkly smile at the camera as the credits rolled and the world was safe once again, ignoring the fact that the real hero was the IT geek who had fed him the information just so the hero could get all the glory.

They were background characters. Something used to explain things.

Then came The IT Crowd. Suddenly they were human.

Funny and human. And they hated us norms. Us people who just go about our lives not understanding how anything around us works from our smart phones to our television. Switch it off and again etc.

If that wasn’t enough, along came The Big Bang Theory which once again put a bunch of nerds front and centre and became the biggest sitcom since Friends (to which it is remarkably similar even down to their flat set-up).

Talking about Friends, Ross, the smart one, was always the butt of every joke. But that wouldn’t happen any

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Bang!!!!!!!!!!

more. Nowadays Ross would be the hero leaving those Jocks like Joey in their dust as they nab the girl and still get to talk about paleontology.

And this all leads us to the smartest, funniest sitcom on television today - Silicon Valley, which is now in its fourth season and is still as fresh as ever.

The show is put together by the ever brilliant Mike Judge, of Beavis and Butt-head and Office Space fame.

And damn that show is good. Intelligently poking fun at the Googles and Facebooks of this world whilst celebrating people with smarts.

With a mish-mash of characters with every human flaw under the sun you follow the internet start-up Pied Piper as it rises and falls and rises again. Erlich is my personal standout character played by TJ Miller who you might recognise from Deadpool and, my God, is this guy immoral but loveable at the same time.

With society seemingly sliding towards ignorance at the moment it’s great that there are still some corners of tellyland celebrating brains.

Screenzone: Gaming “Please don’t be like Infinite Warfare! Please, please, please...”

D-Day for an FPS giant?

Game On!

by Mike Barham Let’s face it, Call of Duty really isn’t the series it used to be...

The modern warfare thing was great to begin with, Call of Duty 4 was a masterpiece combining an epic story with the fantastic playability that had made the franchise renowned for its time. But developers Activision, Infinity Ward and their associates kind of fell into a trench from there onwards, just using the same mechanics and template until we ended up with the simply horrific Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare.

I mean come on, INFINITE warfare?! Which marketing genius thought that was a good idea?!

Somehow Call of Duty has managed to tap into some kind of elixir of gaming life that is usually reserved for Mario, FIFA and that damn blue hedgehog, who all manage to enjoy ridiculous sales figures even when they are having a bad day at the office.

It’s a tired old dinosaur living on past glories, sitting on the shelves of players like myself who remember storming the Normandy beaches in Call of Duty 2.

Add on top of these waning fortunes the fact that DICE’s Battlefield franchise managed to make the trench warfare of World War One something that was not only engaging, but somehow still poignant and thoughtful.

Ironically, Call of Duty was once the young upstart that effectively killed off the Medal of Honour franchise, and now it faces a young pretender of its very own.

So how does Activsion plan to invade Fortress DICE? By mimicking their great rival’s bold step into the past and taking their title back to its roots.

Call of Duty: WWII is primarily going to follow two

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soldiers from the 1st Infantry Division of the US Army during the latter stages of the Second World War (hence the title) as the Allies fight through Northern France, Belgium and over the Rhine into Germany.

It’s classic Call of Duty territory. They even released a Big Red One console exclusive spin-off back in 2005! Be warned Activision, we will know if you’re just remaking that game.

Gameplay-wise, WWII is the first title since the original Call of Duty to not feature health regeneration in the campaign. Instead, players must rely on their medic squadmates to provide health packs, as well as other squad members to provide ammunition. In addition to the lack of resources in the campaign, all players are in “Hardcore Mode” automatically, eliminating the campaign’s difficulty settings.

That’s right, you’re fighting this thing on hard mode whether you like it or not!

AND we are getting a co-op mode that’s going to be separate from the main story and “Zombies” is back for like the 800th time. (They just won’t stay dead apparently...)

If Sledgehammer Games, the developer chosen to re-animate this corpse, can get rid of the scripted, pre-programmed action pieces and the ridiculous AI mechanics that make Call of Duty titles look so old, and yet paradoxically bring back the sense of epic, front line combat that made the first games so great, this could take the fight back to Battlefield and any other pretenders to the crown. Or it’s just going to be another chapter in the downfall of a giant. We shall see.

Call of Duty: WWII is set to be released worldwide on November 3.

Screenzone: Film Oi geezer, where’s me round table?

Knights, stocks and two smoking arrows – A review of King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Are You Talkin’ To Me? A Film column by Jamie Hill

There are some films that you just have to ‘get’.

I remember 16 years ago sitting down and watching Baz Luhrman’s Moulin Rouge and for the first ten minutes you’re kind of thinking ‘what the hell am I watching?’ and then suddenly it clicks and you’re into it.

And the rest is just brilliant.

Guy Ritchie’s King Arthur is like that. You either ‘get’ what the filmmaker is trying to do or you don’t.

And I know Guy Ritchie’s King Arthur isn’t going to be to everybody’s taste. In fact in the screening I went to on a Saturday night in Swindon there were at least two couples who didn’t ‘get’ it and simply walked out. (This is something I’ve never understood. I’ve seen plenty of awful films, ‘Immortals’ with Mickey Rourke dressed as Mr Crabs being the immediate one that springs to mind, but I’ve never walked out of anything especially having taken out a small mortgage to be in the cinema in the first place. This comfy seat in a darkened room is mine for two hours and I paid for it.)

I can understand the frustration.

Especially if you’re expecting a fantasy romance film full of the world of King Arthur with clanking knights honorably going about doing honorable things. This isn’t that.

In fact this film has more in common

with ‘Snatch’ and ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’ than any King Arthur film before. And it doesn’t take itself too seriously at all.

This film is one of the most curious films of modern times – a bit of cinema that is about as ridiculous as a bit of movie-making can get.

And when I say ridiculous I mean ridiculous. They’ve got giant bloody elephants for one thing. It’s probably the most ridiculous King Arthur film since Monty Python’s Holy Grail.

Let’s just say that if you’re expecting anything half serious this film is not for you. This film has humour in spades and is about as tongue in cheek as you can get.

Alright, it has its flaws. Charlie Hunnam being one. He might have made a great hell’s angel in Sons of Anarchy but a cheeky chappie Cockney King Arthur maybe not.

He looks the part and although he’s game he does seem to stumble over some of Ritchie’s fast-talking script. But with a supporting cast of people who know what they’re doing this slight weakness can be easily overlooked. Look out for the ever brilliant Neil Maskell as Back Lack.

You might remember him from Utopia and Kill List and although his part is small he really does lend a bit of emotional heft to proceedings.

Jude Law as the villain is simply fantastic to watch. He’s sinister, power-mad, and psychotic. Just what you want in a good villain.

At times, and this is a criticism of a lot of Ritchie’s films, there was just too much going on and it can be a tad confusing. And the less said about David Beckham’s cameo the better.

But these are minor flaws for what was a relentlessly ridiculous romp.

There’s been a bit of a backlash against this film already with newspapers and websites proclaiming it to be a bomb even before its UK release. Although that is more to do with the studio’s very silly decision to give it a global release a week before the UK one, which is really its home audience being King Arthur and Ritchie, meaning it went up against the behemoth of the rather good Guardians of the Galaxy Two. But newspapers and websites like a failure so don’t expect it to stop anytime soon.

Critically, Ritchie’s films have never done too well, sometimes deservedly so, with the director having to face a lot of snobbery out there from film writers who simply don’t like his kind of bombast but forget that this type of film-making isn’t meant to be high art but entertainment. And entertaining it certainly is.

But, for me, it was gloriously ridiculous. Leave your serious side at the door. Expect silliness and just smile and enjoy. King Arthur as a Cockney gangster film. Brilliant.

All that was missing was a bit of Jason Statham and this would have been the perfect Ritchie film.

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Brews and Eats

A matter of good taste

By Darren Willmott Whenever colleagues at work need a bit of morale boosting I always offer to put on a wine tasting evening for them.

It’s well known that a bit of alcohol can oil the wheels in social situations, and the event is interactive, exciting and usually very interesting.

Organising your own is easier than it might sound and, with a bit of planning, can cost as little as £10 per person. A bargain for a full and fun night!

Tip # 1 – Ask each guest to bring an assigned bottle of wine Your overall tasting night would ideally take the form of several mini tastings, with each consisting of three or four different wines of one particular theme. So, if there are nine of you attending, that’s three mini tastings of three bottles.

A theme can be anything that you want, such as comparing the red wines from one country, a particular grape variety produced in three different countries, or three different brands of the same style of wine.

Work out what themes you want to explore and ask each person to bring a related bottle, otherwise you may end up with 10 different bottles of ‘on-offer’ Sauvignon Blanc.

Tip #2 – Budget. In something of a humorous gesture, a friend once

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bought a £3 Tetra Pak carton of Rioja to a tasting evening. He was surprised that, by the end of the night, the £3 Rioja had been tasted, then decanted and tasted again, and also tried in various wine glasses ranging from stemless to Riedel.

A tasting isn’t about expensive wine, but more to contrast and compare the differences between each of them. To ensure everyone spends fairly and that any comparisons are across wines of a broadly similar quality, set an appropriate budget for each bottle purchased. A nice round figure is £10.

Tip #3 - Glassware and props At this point you may be thinking, hang on, three glasses per person multiplied by nine people equals more glasses than I have at home. The good news is that high street merchants like Majestic, and pretty much all of the major supermarkets offer free glass loan (with a fee only payable if any glasses get broken).

In terms of props, white A4 paper is useful as a table/place mat for each guest.

The plain white surface also allows you to clearly contrast the colour and appearance of each wine against it.

If you have an atlas or map of the world handy, or can make one viewable on a device, it can help people understand why a wine tastes the way it does.

For example, tasting ripe fruit flavours in a wine produced in a warm climate versus leaner fruit from a cooler climate country.

Tip #4 – Food and Water It makes good sense to lay on a few light bites to soak up the alcohol, and this can be as simple as breadsticks and crisps.

If you want to add a further dimension to your night and attempt some food and wine matching you can be more adventurous and lay on some cheeses and meats.

If the food is to be more of a focus you can once again spread the cost and allocate a particular item to each guest, adjusting down the amount spent on the wine accordingly.

Jugs of water are also a good idea, not least for keeping you hydrated, but also to rinse out glasses and cleanse your palate between wines.

Tip #5 – Have fun!

The most important tip of all. If you can’t taste the difference between any of the wines (which may happen towards the end of the night if you’re finishing off the bottles), it doesn’t matter at all, just have fun!

Cheers!

Brews and Eats

To fine or not to fine The Brewery Bird column Ask the average ale drinker if she or he knows what finings are and you’re likely to receive one of two responses: “It’s the stuff they put in beer to make it clear”, and “it’s made from fish bladders”.

Correct. Next question: Would you prefer to drink beer of sparkling clarity or that’s hazy, sometimes murky?

Traditionally, the answer would have been a firm ‘no’ to the latter; with most if not all drinkers presuming unclear beer to have something wrong with it, possibly past its best.

However, the past few years have seen a different trend emerging, along with the uprising of several new breweries concentrating on offering unfined, naturally hazy beers, brewed more in accordance with the strict German Purity Law Reinheitsgebot - which decrees that beers can only contain water, hops, yeast, malted barley or wheat – than chemically altered, filtered beer which pubs and drinkers have traditionally opted for.

Beer drinkers have begun to

lose their initial fear of ‘cloudy’ beer’, thanks primarily to clearer information from an upsurge in publicans who just want to serve a well-conditioned and tasty beer, regardless of how it looks – and easier access to breweries who willingly open their doors and invite drinkers on site to better understand the brewing process and their reason for choosing unfined over fined. In addition, unfined beers are more attractive to vegetarians and vegans or those who wish to steer clear of anything fishy.

So is unfined beer better for you?

Allergens aside, beer which has been fined either through the use of extracted swim bladder or Irish Moss (a more V friendly approach to fining, but a bit more fiddly to use in large batch brewing), is perfectly safe and whilst the fishy aspect might not be too appealing, you’re not actually drinking the finings as they act like a sort of magnet, attracting the yeast cells so they sink to the very bottom of the cask, which means you’d have to tip

the ruddy thing on its end to end up with it in your glass!

The technique has been around since the Romans noticed that their wine was much less opaque stored in dried animal skins or containers made from the stomachs of fish and swim bladders - before the advent of earthenware.

It’s all about taste At the end of the day, before it gets dark,(insert other overused clichés here), it really is all about personal choice.

I for one, prefer to drink bottle conditioned beer, over filtered but choose to ditch the murkier end-of-the-bottle-bits down the sink (call me picky), but when it comes to cask, I don’t care either way provided it tastes good and is in good nick.

There is no ‘right or wrong’ when it comes to fined or unfined, and I predict we will see more breweries opting for the more natural approach to cask and keg beer.

And if this in turn enables more venues to stock real beer, that can only be a good thing.

Right?!

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Brews and Eats

History of...

Doughnuts

By Mike Barham As National Doughnut Week had us all scoffing the circular, waistline inflating sweet snacks by the packetload during May (was that just us?) we decided to let you know how Homer Simpson’s favourite food came into existence.

As we all know, doughnuts (or donuts if you suffer from Americanism) are a type of fried dough confectionery or dessert food, and are devoured in countries around the world. Apart from New Zealand, where they are used to replace flat tires on trucks.

Doughnuts are usually deep-fried from a flour dough, and typically either ring-shaped or without a hole, and often filled. And battles have been fought over which is best.

One side often claims they are “holier” than the other.

Nobody is really sure where doughnuts came from originally. Some claim they descended from Mount Olympus in 37 BC, rolling down the hillside into a passing travellers mouth. That traveller was Mr K Kreme, and he is now worth billions. And, for the purposes of this ill conceived joke, is somehow still alive.

One theory suggests doughnuts were invented in North America by Dutch settlers, as in the 19th century, doughnuts were sometimes referred to as one kind of oliekoek (a Dutch word literally meaning “oil cake”).

These oil filled doughnuts were a very short lived idea.

Only mechanics now eat these.

Hanson Gregory, an American, claimed to have invented the ring-shaped doughnut in 1847 aboard

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a lime-trading ship when he was 16 years old. Gregory was dissatisfied with the greasiness of doughnuts twisted into various shapes and with the raw centre of regular doughnuts. He claimed to have punched a hole in the centre of the dough with the ship’s tin pepper box, and to have later taught the technique to his mother.

Which seems incredibly far fetched.

Another theory on their origin came to light in 2013, appearing to pre-date all previous claims, when a recipe for “dow nuts” was found in a book of domestic tips written in 1800 by the wife of Baron Thomas Dimsdale.

So the humble doughnut could be another British invention!

Brews and Eats

You can’t beet it!

Beetroot, potato & horseradish röstis - serves 4 A sure-fire hit for breakfast, brunch or lunch. You can cook the beetroot first, but using it raw lends the röstis a nice bit of bite.

2 large potatoes 1 large beetroot, peeled 1 small red onion 5cm piece of horseradish, peeled or 1 tsp grated horseradish from a jar 1 large garlic clove small bunch of dill, roughly chopped small bunch of tarragon, roughly chopped small bunch of parsley, roughly chopped 1 tbsp plain flour (or rice flour to make it glutenfree) sunflower oil, for frying salt & black pepper Put the potatoes in a pan of

cold salted water and slowly bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 5 minutes. Turn off the heat and leave the potatoes in the hot water for 15 minutes so that they are half cooked. Drain and peel. Coarsely grate the potatoes, beetroot and onion into a large bowl. Finely grate the horseradish into the same bowl. Bash the garlic into a fine paste using a pestle and mortar, or crush in a garlic crusher, then add it to the bowl with the herbs. Season with salt and pepper, sprinkle over the flour and mix well. Heat the oven to 190°C/Gas 5. Shape the veg mix into four burgersized patties.

They should hold together well,

but add a bit more flour if not.

Heat a good slug of oil in a non-stick frying pan and fry the röstis until golden brown on each side. Transfer to a baking tray and bake for 15 minutes, until crisp.

Serving ideas * Serve as a great substitute for your average side of potatoes; try them with a slice of roast beef or venison and some wilted kale. * Top with smoked salmon, a dollop of crème fraîche and a handful of green herbs. * Use the same mix to make mini patties and serve as fancy hash browns with a full English breakfast. * Crumble blue cheese on top, with a sparing drizzle of runny honey and a small pile of peppery watercress leaves. * Top with wilted spinach or chard and a poached egg. www.riverford.co.uk/recipes

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Brews and Eats

It’s chilli vs and If you like things hot watch cheesy, you can either old in f hof ssle Ha David h or make episodes of Baywatc to head a note in your diary Park this out towards Lydiard August. illi The Cheese and Ch indon in Festival returns to Sw rk. The 2017 at Lydiard Pa dering wil be a see l event wil llies chi d an array of cheese rld brought wo the und aro m fro to one place. tastic There will also be fan stalls. ft cra d an s art of range

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cheese

The festival promises ne and is something for everyo out (even y da ily fam ct a perfe ese che on n if you’re not kee ivities act e fre h wit lli!) chi or ults to take for children and ad rides and fun part in as well as s. game music, Activities include; live quad and ys, pla dis e bik tor mo shows from mountain bike stunt display, ry Jez Avery, a falcon Judy, & ch Pun , ws sho magic on, titi pe com a chilli eating er bars, cid l rea d an ale l rea , balloon a craft tent, sand art

s, modelling, wine tasting ions, not rat nst mo de y ker coo azing to mention all the am for sale at produce and crafts the show. me at Dogs are very welco they are as g lon as , ws sho the tival takes kept on leads. The fes 6, 2017. d an 5 place on August e fre en ldr chi Price: vance, £7 Adults from £5 in ad on the door vance, £4 Seniors from £3 in ad on the door. al.com cheeseandc hillifestiv l.com admin@c heeseandc

hillifestiva

Theatre list Saturday June 3 to Sunday June 4 DANCE: West Berks Ballet School - The Nutcracker 2pm & 7pm - Arlington Arts Centre, Newbury Tuesday June 6 to Wednesday June 7 DANCE: Out Of This World 7.30pm - Oxford Playhouse, Beaumont St, Oxford Tuesday June 6 to Thursday June 8 THEATRE: While We’re Here 8pm - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford Saturday June 10 DANCE: ACE Dance Company 7pm - Arlington Arts Centre, Newbury COMEDY: Shappi Khorsandi - Oh My Country!

8pm - Oxford Playhouse, Beaumont St, Oxford

Wednesday June 14 to Saturday June 17 THEATRE: The Western Players presents Murder Weapon by Brian Clemens 7.30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Rd

Friday June 23 to Sunday July 2 Offbeat Festival Arts at the Old Fire Station, Oxford www.offbeatoxford.co.uk

Thursday June 15 COMEDY: Count Arthur Strong: The Sound of Mucus 7.30pm - Corn Exchange, Newbury COMEDY: Katy Brand: I Was A Teenage Christian 7.30pm - New Greenham Arts, Thatcham

Friday June 23 TALKS: OxPHWOARd: Alter Egos 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Saturday June 17 COMEDY: Hambone 7pm - Arlington Arts Centre, Newbury Sunday June 18 DANCE: Dance in the Park 3pm - Arlington Arts Centre, Newbury

COMEDY: Sean Kelly: Sold Your Way! 7pm - Arlington Arts Centre, Newbury Sunday June 25 Big Beat Little Feet: Mrs H and the SingAlong Band 3pm - Arlington Arts Centre, Newbury Friday June 30 to Sunday July 16 Hungerford and District Arts Festival Multiple Venues, Hungerford, West Berkshire www.hungerfordartsfestival.com

Shakespeare Live bring outdoor performance to Seend The most magical and probably the most popular of Shakespeare’s plays is being presented in a beautiful garden setting from Monday 3 to Saturday 8 July at 8pm, with a matinee on Saturday at 2pm.

Local company Shakespeare Live, in their 29th year of outdoor shows, have a new venue at Cleeve House, Seend, SN12 6PG, where their 366 seater tiered and covered stand will face a sylvan background perfect for the fantastic, romantic

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and funny antics of fairies and humans, including, of course, the famous workman Bottom, unwittingly transformed by mischievous Puck into a donkey in order to woo the enchanted and enchanting Queen of the Fairies.

As the light fades on a summer’s evening, the top quality lighting takes over, and with sound, costume and production values all at the highest level, you can be sure of great entertainment. And if the weather is less than perfect, the

play goes on, even if the actors do sometimes get wet!

Whilst the play is the centre piece, the event also offers the chance to picnic before every show, and to enjoy great extra entertainment on the Saturday Gala Night.

Ticket prices range from £5 – £20 and can be bought through the company website, by calling the box office on 07780 938107 or heading to: www.shakespearelive.com

Theatre

Support your venue!

Your support can help the Newbury plug a £78,000 funding gap following a council decision to cut funding

West Berkshire Council have taken the decision to cut £78,000 of support from the Corn Exchange in Newbury and nearby New Greenham Arts over the next two years.

That means over the last three years, funding from the local authority will have reduced by 55 percent, and both of these important local venues urgently need your support to raise £25,000 to cover the gap.

Newbury Corn Exchange has launched the Love Your Corn Exchange campaign and are asking you to make a donation of £10 to support their plight.

In a statement, the venue says: “Whilst we are hugely fortunate

to have strong support from our audiences, stakeholders and funding partners, our grant from the council specifically funds activities at the Corn Exchange.

“Funding for the projects we announced earlier this year comes from other grant giving organisations and is entirely ring-fenced for our new Learning Centre and the expansion of 101.

So the reduction in funding from the council will directly impact events at the Corn Exchange and the very short timeframe creates immediate challenges for us.”

Last year, the appeal raised in excess of £12,000 and every

pound you donate this year will be matched by Arts Council England, meaning your £10 will be worth £20 (or £22.50 if your donation is eligible for Gift Aid).

Your donation will help to sustain the Corn Exchange and the range of activities and services they deliver for the community of West Berkshire.

To make a donation you can: Phone the Box Office on 0845 5218 218 Give online at www. cornexchangenew.com Text CORN15 £10 to 70070 or Send a cheque made payable to Corn Exchange (Trust) to Love Your Corn Exchange, Corn Exchange, Market Place, Newbury, RG14 5BD

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Art

Unveiling our hidden gems Clockwise from top Procession: LS Lowry (1929) The Polluted Lake: George Reason (1969) and composition in black and white: Ben Nicholson (1933).

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Swindon’s Collection of Modern British Art is one of the most remarkable collections of its kind outside London.

Even if you’re not a blackbelt in History of Art, you will almost certainly be aware of some of the artists featured in the collection.

Swindon’s art haul includes Lowry (of matchstick men fame), Henry Moore (the sculptor) and even The Naked Ape author Desmond Morris.

Works are displayed at the Swindon Museum and Art Gallery but due to space constraints, the bulk of the work is hidden from view.

However, this could change with the unveiling of plans to build a £22million dedicated museum and art gallery.

Swindon Borough Council has already pledged £5million towards the scheme and applications have been made to the Heritage Lottery Fund for £10m with the rest of the fund expected to be met by the private sector.

The collection began in 1946 when local businessman HJP ‘Jimmy’ Bomford donated 21 works of art to the borough librarian to form the nucleus of a new art gallery for the town.

Then in the 60s, curator of London’s Tate Gallery Richard Morphet was appointed to help Swindon build its art collection.

Morphet was behind some of Swindon’s most important acquisitions including paintings

by David Bomberg, Lucien Freud and Vanessa Bell.

Art

Clockwise from top left: The Mysterious Gift: Desmond Morris (1965), Ship Amid Tall Waves: Alfred Wallis, Tennis: Vicente do Rego Monteiro (1928), Gramophone: Howard Hodgkin.

left, The Spanish Chair: Mary Fedden (1998) below, Tower Bridge, London A War-Time Nocturne, Claude Francis Barry.

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Culture

Get ready for Cowley Rd Carnival

This month sees the launch of one of the biggest events in the Oxford Calendar - the Cowley Road carnival, an annual event that brings together the many different people in and around Oxford, with a sense of community and connectivity, to celebrate their diversity, creativity and energy.

Since its launch in 2000, the

event, held this year on June 10, has grown and now features hundreds of performers over several outdoor stages, stalls, traders and community groups with offerings from Indian food to solar panels. Carnival Day 2017 starts earlier this year. The festivities will kick off at 11am when the Cowley Road will burst into song and dance with

hundreds of performances taking place from the Plain all the way up to the Magdalen Road.

The fabulous procession will start at 12.30am so get there early to get the best view and make the most of the day.

For more information about events on the day, see the carnival website. www.cowleyroadcarnival.co.uk

Production hopes to raise the roof Fiddler on the Roof Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon 12-16 July 2017 Ray Dance and Judith Sharp are staging a new production of Fiddler on the Roof at Swindon’s Arts Centre. This year’s production runs from 12-16 July.

Fiddler tells a story which is still as relevant, politically and socially, as it was a century ago.

It focuses upon the hardship in the lives of Russian Jews who were forced from their homes in the early years of the 20th Century and the similarities with what is happening in certain parts of the world today prompted Ray and Judith to decide to donate profit from the show to The Harbour Project, which aids refugees and asylum seekers across Swindon.

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The show is rich with musical hits you know and love, including To Life (L’Chaim!), Sunrise, Sunset, If I Were A Rich Man, Matchmaker Matchmaker and Tradition. It centres on Tevye, the father of five daughters, and his attempts to maintain his religious and cultural traditions as outside influences encroach upon the family’s lives. He must cope both with the strong-willed actions of his three older daughters, who wish to marry for love, and with the edict of the Tsar that evicts the Jews from their village.

The production will be directed

by Russell Langdown with assistance from Sandra Gilbert.

The musical score will be in the hands of two very accomplished local musicians, Sheila Harrod and Matthew Taylor (The Fiddler)

who will capture the atmosphere and emotion of the show. The rest of the cast is comprised of local performers and children from The Gemma Short School of Dance and Theatre Arts.

Fiddler on the Roof will be staged from 12 – 16 July at Swindon Arts Centre. Tickets are priced between £7 and £14 and can be purchased by contacting Ray or Judith on 01793 485025 or by emailing randjmusicals@ hotmail.com.

Performances will take place at 7.30pm from Wednesday to Saturday and at 2.30pm on Saturday and Sunday. Tickets are also available from the Wyvern Theatre on 01793 524481 with an additional £1 per ticket booking fee. www.swindontheatres.co.uk.

Theatre

Crop of the fringe Coming to the Old Town Festival this year is a selection of some of the best shows from this year’s Swindon Fringe Festival.

And it’s all been brought to you courtesy of us guys at The Ocelot.

Fringe Cuts featured acts are The Door - the Swinge Choice Award Winner 2017, Daft Pun, the festival’s Best Stand Up Comedian 2017 and Breaking Point, awarded the festival’s Best New Writing Award 2017.

room or go through the door and into the unknown, tensions run high as the group each try to persuade the others of their views, but can they really work together when they’re already so divided? The Door is the theatre debut of writer/director Alex Secker, a psychological thriller about division, paranoia and human interaction. Starring Laura Coates, Daniella Faircloth, David Higgins, Lindsay Linnegar, Matthew Mordak and Ashley Robson. Recommended Age: 16+

The Door - Swindon Choice Award

Six strangers awake to find themselves locked in a windowless room with no means of escape but a single door.

When their unseen captor gives them a choice, stay in the

Breaking Point - Best New Writing It’s been a bad night, a really bad night. In fact, life in general is pretty bad for these two strangers. They wind up in A&E… then sat on bench, in the early hours, waiting. What they’re waiting for is a bit of a mystery.

All that’s certain is the sun will rise and they will part ways. The question is: how much do you share with a stranger?

In Breaking Point two women take a one-night stand approach to the confessional, in a bid to wind up a little happier at the end of it all. l Tickets for the event, on Friday July 14, cost £15. The

Fringe Cuts shows will be staged at the Commonweal School Theatre.

Daft Pun - Best Stand Up Comedian If you’re a fan of puns and are ‘up all night for good fun’, prepare to ‘get lucky’ as Sony award-winning comic Tony Cowards brings his show Daft Pun, an hour of great gags, playful puns and witty wordplay, to Swindon Fringe.

A sought-after comic worldwide, Tony’s gags turn up in all sorts of places from greetings cards, to TV shows.

So, even if you’ve never heard of him, there’s a very good chance you’ve laughed at one of his jokes!

Recommended Age: 16+ Book your tickets for any of these shows online at ticketsource.co.uk/ fringecuts

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Boomtown

Boomtown Fair :

By Gina Akers Music Festivals. more than 14 million of us visit them every year.

They are growing in popularity and are growing in size.

It’s not only the notoriously high overheads and ever increasing regulations though that can make or break a festival. With festival goers demanding more from their experience, just bands and tents in fields is not enough!

Boomtown Fair is a great example of new directions some festivals are taking.

An actual town is designed and built specifically for this festival with nine different districts.

For four days this town has occupants and is truly alive.

With its immersive storyline, you actually get to be part of the festival and can chose to be as involved as much or as little as you like.

It appears that Boomtown may have pioneered the blueprint for the future of festivals.

We spoke to Boomtown’s Head of Music Kaptin Barrett and Boomtown’s Creative Director Natalie Smith.

So Kaptin, we understand you are very particular about who you chose for the Boomtown line-up.

With so much amazing talent out there how do you decide who to include?

Many acts build a wall between themselves and the audience, without wishing to sound corny, I’m really looking for artists that build connections, that really know how to create a shared experience rather than it being just another gig. Also we’ve grown from very underground

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and organic roots, so the line up will always reflect that. We don’t really do your standard rock and pop bands.

What inspires you? Where do you get your ideas from?

I’m inspired by rebels mostly I think, people who break the rules in a positive way. I’m really not one for purists of any kind, I think that conservative thinking often stands in the way of progression so I love artists who aren’t scared to do their own thing.

What do you think the future holds for festivals?

I think they can only continue to gain more importance, as we have less real time interactions in our lives and less social and dare I say meaningful experiences, these kind of hyper-social events which cram a multitude of weekends into just the one are going to just keep growing in number. There’s pretty much a festival for every kind of person already but I think we’ll see a lot more smaller and localised festivals that are much more about community than headliners.

We’re already seeing it now, I think that’s a positive thing.

If there is one thing we absolutely mustn’t miss at Boomtown this year what would that be?

I don’t think I could pick just one act, there’s going to be some epic sets, so instead I’ll say when you’re needing a bit of space from the bands and DJs, make sure you get up to Whistler’s Green just above the Lion’s Den and get yourself involved in some of the workshops and talks up there. It’s the perfect place to go and restore your soul.

Natalie Smith is the Creative Director of Boomtown Fair, she has given us an insight to how Boomtown is created and some top advice to experience the best of Boomtown.

For anyone who is new to Boomtown how would you describe it?

Well, an explosion of the senses!

There are just so many elements that it covers, there’s is something for everyone, it’s really difficult to pin it down to just one particular

Boomtown

is this the future?

thing, its stimulating for sure.

Can you tell us more about this year’s immersive story line?

The city of Boomtown is in unrest, they are waiting for a leader, the city is in chaos, a new character is going to step to the forefront, they might be a goodie they might be a baddie.

What in particular makes this year’s Boomtown different?

Every year we try to add more, another layer of detail, whether that be foliage or water features, or window displays, we’ve got these amazing facades and we want to populate it with real people and animate that.

We are adding a lot more performers to second level balconies across the sites, so when you walk down the street you really feel like you are in the world of Boomtown where people are going about doing

their everyday things.

What is your favourite thing about Boomtown?

It’s hard to choose one specific thing, but the sheer amount of creativity, colour, love and passion that goes into it, and that goes from the crew who build it to the audience who experience it, the whole thing that we’ve created is truly beautiful.

I love the fact that you can listen to somebody playing a banjo in the Wild West and then go and have a proper skank out at Sector 6, then listen to reggae, or you can wander through streets and come across various characters and interactions and follow a detailed storyline.

That’s something that we are encouraging a lot more, that immersive element, really tying people in with the narrative, that’s our USP, that we are able to tie entire worlds together under one story that makes sense.

Which creative concept are you looking forward to bringing to life the most?

Definitely the digital innovations, I’m really excited to develop our style as well and the story.

I don’t want to give away too much of the narrative until people get there and see who the new character is and where we are heading, but we are playing with newer, bolder characters, we are going down a lot more futuristic stylising.

Boomtown Fair takes place from 10th-13th August 2017.

Including performances from top music acts such as Cypress Hill, Arrested Development, Sugar Hill Gang, Ziggy Marley, AJ Tracey, Altern 8, DJ Luck and MC Neat, Frank Turner, Newton Faulkner, Utah Saints, Sam and The Womp, Beans on Toast, The Tribe, Imperial Leisure and many more.

Visit www.boomtownfair.co.uk

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The Great British Prom

Bowood to host a classical music extravaganza

The Great British Prom is coming to Bowood House near Chippenham in Wiltshire on the evening of 6 August to delight classical music lovers with a veritable feast of iconic and rousing anthems from all corners of the UK. The National Symphony Orchestra, conducted by the world-famous Anthony Inglis, will lead proceedings. They will be joined live on stage by a star-studded line up that includes, globally renowned soprano Philippa Healey, Classical Brit Award-winning Welsh vocal group Only Men Aloud and The Band of the Home Counties Pipes and Drums. The concert will culminate in a spectacular firework display, choreographed to the music in the delightful outdoor setting of Bowood House.

Justin Pearson, General Manager and Artistic Director of the NSO, says: “Conducted by the amazing Anthony Inglis, we shall faithfully recreate the buzz of the Last Night of the Proms.

Thrilling to the 1812 Overture, being charmed by the dazzling Annette Wardell, an entire band of pipers, fireworks, Only Men Aloud and a full symphony orchestra.

Unmissable!”

On 5 August Bowood will host Classic Ibiza, a completely different musical experience. The concert sees

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the Urban Soul Orchestra and DJ Goldierocks bring some of the biggest dance tracks from the last 20 years to life in the delightful setting of Bowood.

Tickets: £35 in advance (£38 on the night). Carparking is free.

Bring a picnic or take advantage of the onsite street-food vendors.

Call 01630 World-famous composer 674342 or visit: Anthony Inglis will lead greatbritishprom.co.uk pro ceedings at Bowood Hou se classicibiza.co.uk

Cornbury Fabulous Finale

Cornbury Music Festival’s Fabulous Finale will be a star studded send off

A fantastic all-star line-up of artists will gather at Great Tew Park this July for Cornbury Music Festival’s Fabulous Finale.

The 14th Cornbury Festival this year will be the very last as organisers announced the Fabulous Finale in October 2016.

Festival Director Hugh Phillimore said: “We’ve had a fantastic run over the last 13 years and are very proud of the lovely event we’ve created. ”We’ve hosted a marvellous annual party for our loyal audience – the odd royal, multi-generational families, aristocracy, Prime Ministers, film stars, farmers, rockers, and ladies who make exceedingly good cakes.

“We have found ourselves in the centre of a wonderful community and are proud that we’ve been able to benefit many local causes over the years.”

Nicknamed ‘Poshstock’, England’s most

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upmarket festival, Cornbury, has featured many brilliant performers over the last 13 years – Joe Cocker, Amy Winehouse, Robert Plant, Paul Simon, Van Morrison, Crowded House, Blondie, Hugh Laurie, Georgie Fame and the much-missed Humphrey Lyttelton amongst many others.

Cornbury is well known for its unique and friendly atmosphere and beautiful Cotswold location, and is critically praised as ‘England’s Most Elegant Gathering’.

“We’re going out with a bang’ says Hugh. “I can’t wait to celebrate with friends old and new. Don’t miss out on this last chance to join us for our Fabulous Finale.”

Joining Canadian superstar

Cornbury Fabulous Finale

Bryan Adams for the Festival’s farewell weekend on 7-9 July, will be big band supremo and national treasure Jools Holland, Chrissie Hynde’s perennial Pretenders, and a host of Cornbury favourites including Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Jack Savoretti and Scouting For Girls.

Yorkshire rockers Kaiser Chiefs make their Cornbury debut headlining Friday night. Recent No.1 country sisters Ward Thomas also make a welcome return, along with Keane frontman Tom Chaplin, festival darling Imelda May, and last year’s crowd pleasers, Australian troubadours The Pierce Brothers.

Heading up the newcomers, and boasting an awesome live reputation, US soulsters St Paul & The Broken Bones will join Paul Weller protégés, Stone Foundation, Mark Ronson-collaborator and indie darling Rose Elinor Dougall, and Danish new-disco

superstars Black Dylan. Also joining the bill are Festival promoter Hugh Phillimore’s favourite 90’s popstars Right Said Fred and the man who created Band Aid Midge Ure. Hugh Phillimore added: “When you’re having a farewell party you want to be surrounded by people you really love, so we’ve invited artists we’ve known and enjoyed watching over the years and luckily they’ve all been keen to join us for our Fabulous Finale’.

The festival has also gained a reputation for its loyal audience of multigenerational families, aristocracy, Prime Ministers, film stars, farmers, rockers, Jeremy Clarkson and even the odd royal!

“We’ve had a fantastic run over the last 14 years and are very proud of the lovely event we’ve created” said Phillimore: “This year we will end on a high. I know that every artist on the line-up will deliver an exceptional live show. Live performance is my great love and for me its the essence of Cornbury.”

To book tickets and for more information go to cornburymusicfestival.com.

Local festival fans can avoid booking charges by buying their tickets direct from Chipping Norton Theatre box office.

REMEMBER, IT’S YOUR FINAL CHANCE! www.theocelot.co.uk

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Swindon Shuffle

Set Swindon to Shuffle!

Always impressive, musically diverse, forever crazy Diagonal People headline The Vic on Friday July 14

It’s that time of year again! The Swindon Shuffle is like our musical Christmas here at The Ocelot, and they’ve released details of all the bands and acts you can enjoy across four venues from 12 – 16 July.

History lesson time folks!

The Swindon Shuffle was conceived and founded in 2007 by Richard Craven, Phil Dyson and Paul Jellings from Songs of Praise Promotions, plus Neil Gammon from Black Lava Promotions and Tim McDonald from Yankeeboy Promotions.

Using the basis of already established city centre music festivals like the Camden Crawl, The Great Escape and the Oxford Punt, the aim was and still is to bring together the community to showcase a thriving local music scene. The idea for the music festival, and inspiration for the festival name, started as a “shuffle”

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by the crowd between several music venues on one particular night to watch the performing acts, but this had expanded even before the start of the first festival to be a four day event held across many venues.

Featuring headliners like The Tribe, Kid Calico and The Astral Ponies, Diagonal People, Misfires and True Strays, the 2017 Shuffle is going to be a thrill ride through the variety of music on offer from Swindon and the local area.

And it isn’t just the guys and girls at the top of the bill that have us excited like a child in Toys R Us! Aside from the always popular Shuffle Music Quiz at The Beehive on the opening day (Wednesday July 12), this year’s shuffle is packed wall to wall with the area’s best musicians.

Bradley Cowtan, (this chap

Swindon Shuffle on the left and also our March Night of The Ocelot opening act) crops up twice on this year’s line-up, performing solo at The Tuppenny on Thursday 13 alongside headliners True Strays and Emily-Jane Shepherd, before providing a full band show at The Vic on Friday 14, ably supporting Diagonal People, Cursor Major, Street Spirit and a secret special guest that hasn’t even been revealed to us yet!

Saturday night at The Vic is always a big event during the Shuffle and this year promises to be no different. Headed up by Salisbury’s ska-pop collective The Tribe (who you can read more about on page 48) you’re in for an eclectic roller-coaster ride of soul and trip-hop sounds from Oxford’s Catgod, live reggae/rocksteady tunes from the Erin Bardwell Collective and a two pronged attack from openers Hail and Chaney.

For the full line-up, regular updates and ticket enquiries head to – www.swindonshuffle.org.uk

ongwriter charge at DREUW leads the singer/s July 15 y rda Satu on The Tuppenny

The Tribe takeover

The Vic on Saturda y July 15

Swindon’s latest indie rocking hotshots Misfires will head the line-up at The Castle on Thursday July 13

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The Tribe

Follow the Tribe

By Gina Akers Hip hop reggae energy collective The Tribe have announced their summer festival dates, including dates at three of the UK’s top ten largest festivals and a staggering ten performances at Glastonbury Festival.

The Tribe will be performing over eight stages at Glastonbury, the world’s largest and most famous festival.

They are also set to perform on three stages at Boomtown Fair and at Victorious Festival, both of which are in the top 10 of the UK’s largest festivals.

Well known festivals Blissfields and One Love are also in their summer line up.

The Tribe have just released the video for their new track “Break” from their latest album which has had over 21k views

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(10k views on Facebook within a couple of days). They have spent the last year recording an album produced by “Bullysongz” - who is currently a feature of Armin Van Buuren and Galantis’s big hits at the moment.

They’re getting interest from national radio and are set to be played on BBC Radio 6 within the next few weeks and they’ve had support on social media from leading international hip hop act Cypress Hill.

Songwriter, bassist, acoustic guitarist and singer for The Tribe, Ant Henderson, said: “Over the past two years we have been working our socks off writing our debut album and promoting our new music for the festivals season, it would seem everything is falling into place for 2017!”

Songwriter & rapper for The

Tribe AJ Mayhew said: “I’m mega excited for this year’s festival season. We have been working hard on new material and are now ready to hit the stage the new songs. We have some great festivals this year and I always have a great time when I’m on road with the band.”

The Tribe’s guitarist AJ Thomas said: “It’s always a pleasure to perform, big and small, the festivals are great, there’s such a variety of people all enjoying good live music, that’s what it’s all about.”

Other events in their summer calendar include Follyfest, Wed Fest, Fieldview Festival, Tidworth Town Festival, Calne Fest and Wroughton Carnival.

Their full summer gig line-up can be seen at: www. thetribalwave.com

The Ocelot Presents Credit - Joshua Clarke Photography, Swindon

Heartwork Swansea based Heartwork (aka Dan O’Dell) is invading Swindon on July 20 supporting Liverpool pop punkers WSTR, With Ghosts and Vexxes at Level III. You’re playing in Swindon twice in the space of two months. What keeps bringing you back? Is it our charm and sophistication in this lovely corner of the world?

“Two words. KIERAN MOORE (of Sheer Music). Whenever I get word that he’s putting on another show, I’ll message him up on Facebook along the lines of “of course I’ll open this show thanks mate”. And more often than not, that actually tends to work.

“The crowds are always great in Swindon, well that whole area of the country to be fair. Wiltshire. It’s something in the cider that makes people super nice and welcoming.”

Where did Heartwork come from? What made you drop “Dropout Dan” and push on to this new pasture?

“During the writing process of the Heartwork album, I went back and listened to the CD’s I released as Dropout Dan and a bunch of demos I had on my hard drive. I realised that the songs were actually good songs. That’s actually why the song ‘I Was Building An Empire’ has made it onto the Heartwork album. It came to an end in such a weird period of my life. Which takes us nicely into where Heartwork came from. I was basically experiencing panic attacks and general anxiety disorder in 2013 and coming to terms with that. I decided I needed a break from music so I put Dropout Dan to bed.

“Around this time I was having CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and the therapist was talking about how panic manifests itself in the body. She said something like “You probably experience the brain overworking which causes the heart to speed up, then vice versa. That’s just how the brain and the heart work”. That stuck with me and I thought to myself that I was going to make a positive from the

experience. Then music came!!”

Favourite track from the new album?

“Oh man, I don’t know. This changes from time to time. I love them all. ‘Playing Dead’ is one I’m very fond of because it makes me wince when I listen to it. Which is a good thing because the subject matter is incredibly personal, and the fact that it makes me feel uncomfortable means that I’ve conveyed the message I wanted to.

“But I think my favourite would have to be ‘The Right Thing’. My buddy B-Sydes sings on it. He actually wrote his guest lyrics then recorded them with a mutual friend Adam Boucher and then sent them to me before I had even heard a lyric or melody. It was a great surprise when I heard them.

His voice suited that part of the song so perfectly. Match made in…well, the planet earth.”

Touring/ gigging in the UK at the moment…. Your thoughts?

“It depends where. For example; I’ve never played a good London show but in Devizes, I’ve never had a bad show. I’ve had good and bad shows in Cardiff and had a terrible show in Peterborough. It probably comes down to me at the end of the night but there’s something to be said for a good crowd.”

If you were offered £1 million but for one year you’d randomly turn into a Saddleback pig for an hour a month… would you take the money?

“I just googled Saddleback Pig and I was taken a(saddle) back by how big those things are. Yeah I’d do it. That’s 12 hours of your life you’d have to spend as a pig in return for £1,000,000. I’ve spent longer amounts of time feeling like a pig so it would be fair to have the aesthetic as well to actually justify it.”

Catch Heartwork LIVE at Level III on July 20 with WSTR, With Ghosts and Vexxes. Tickets are available now via WeGotTickets or the Level III website: www.leveliii.co.uk

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O2 Academy Big shows in store at the O2 Academy

Lethal Bizzle is dropping into Oxford on October 19, but we can almost guarantee tickets are going to go quick!

We all know the O2 Academy is renowned for booking the big guns, and giving all of us something to shout about right on our doorstep.

During May several big shows were announced for later in the year that we just had to let you know about. And seeing as festival season can get a little quiet (let’s face it, nobody wants to be locked up indoors during July and August) we have details to share on those big hitters coming to Oxford sooner than you think.

But firstly, don’t forget that June 24 will see the longawaited return of The Inflatables to Oxford. Also featuring Roddy Radiation & The Skabilly Rebels, King Hammond and The Rude Boy Mafia with an aftershow DJ set from Madam Scorcher and Darren Bennet, it’s one not to miss.

And, on June 13 and 14, six up and coming rock and metal bands from Oxford are coming together for two nights of awesome music, including Oceans of Apathy, 12.

Gauge, Autumns Fall, Nightlife, Comic Sans and Monkey Radio.

Now, for some very important news - The Psychedelic Furs are coming home!

The veteran post-punk band led by brothers Richard and Tim Butler, will tour the UK for the first time in five years by celebrating the many singles they’ve released throughout their career, returning home to Oxford to rock it up at the O2 Academy on September 10. Revisit highlights from the Furs’ storied career; expect to hear iconic hits like, ‘Love My Way’, ‘Heaven’ and more.

Then we have Lethal Bizzle, who released his hotly anticipated EP ‘You’ll Never Make a Million from Grime’ in May, who hits the O2 Academy on October 19. Support is yet to be announced, but you can be sure this is going to be one hell of a show.

For tickets and more information on the litany of other offerings that we just couldn’t squeeze all onto one page, visit: www.academymusicgroup.com/o2academyoxford

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The Inflatables will be ransacking the O2 Academy on June 24 with a who’s who of ska and punk legends

The Psychedelic Furs return home on September 10

Gig Monkey Gig Monkey, AKA Ed Dyer, takes a rummage through the best music released by local artists. If you like the sound of something please check it out Send your reviews to ed@theocelot.co.uk

Moogieman– Girls and Film (album) It is always great to go into a new release review with no idea what you are going to be listening to, and any release or show from Oxford auteur Moogieman is going to be a little unexpected, no matter what you were expecting.

He is an artist that seems to not have that control point between his brain and the rest of the world – this debut album, as with his earlier EP releases, is very much a stream of consciousness production, (the fact that there are 24 tracks on this record a good indicator of the reluctance to edit) and it veers wildly and with reckless abandon across genres, eras and dimensions.

The result of this cartwheeling, scattergun approach is a messy, childish, wobbly and quite glorious collection of short songs themed around photography and film and built around some clever, witty and considered lyrics.

Musically it is all very lo-fi with a real bedroom synth vibe about it, although the production is spot on and unobtrusive. The music is also very clever, creepy and unsettling one minute, bouncy and sparkling another and full of interesting and exciting sounds that just appear from nowhere, mid song.

Stand out track, from many contenders, would perhaps be the post-punk, swaggering synth-pop of “I Left My Camera On The Moon” a poignant song written from the point of view of Eugene Cernan, the Apollo 17 Astronaut who left his camera behind on the lunar surface, hoping it would be

Moogieman - ‘A record that veers wildly and with reckless abandon across genres, eras and dimensions’

retrieved by a later mission – a mission which never came.

It is the sign of a good, healthy and artistically nourishing music scene that an artist like Moogieman can not only be birthed but can flourish, a counterpoint to the proliferation of mediocre, middle of the ground blandness.

So put away your genericly sterile music, pick up a copy of this and enjoy the creativity.

Jamie R Hawkins – The Bitter End. (EP) Wiltshire singer /songwriter Jamie R Hawkins treads a traditional and straight path of acoustic folk-pop but, through deft song-writing based on personal experiences and observations manages to elevate his work well above the average.

Very much an “everyman” artist, these are songs that it is easy to relate to; soap-opera dramas and domestic struggles put to music. “As Big As You” is a cutesy but powerful number about comparing yourself to your father, childhood memories and facing your own

responsibilities, “Nicotine” a love song to the world’s most popular narcotic.

The music is unsophisticated but nuanced, simple yet stylised and the perfect partner for the lyrics and the voice, which is where you will find the heart and soul of this record – it is wonderful to be presented with material from a writer who puts his words front and centre, who doesn’t get obsessed with clever music and breaking boundaries, who remembers that a song is an artform based on singing, and therefore based on the words and the lyricism of the story.

This is a fantastic throwback to simpler times and simpler pleasures, a dose of rosy cheeked nostalgia and oldfashioned bardic song-writing, albeit updated for the 21st century.

If you want songs that are deep and meaningful essays then look elsewhere, if you want to listen something that is more about real life, that presents kitchen sink dramas in music form then get yourself some of this, it is an absolute joy. www.theocelot.co.uk

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The Night of The Ocelot

Ready for another purrfect evening?

A Chip off the ol’ block is back to celebrate our 11th Birthday!

We think we are getting the hang of this!

The Ocelot turns 11 years old in June, so to celebrate we got in touch with an old friend and asked them to come along to another Night of The Ocelot at The Victoria in Swindon on June 29.

Imagine, if you will, one of those “getting the team back together” scenes from a Hollywood film.

Except using Facebook messenger and Twitter DMs...

For one night only, we have dragged Chip Daddy himself out of semi-retirement (when he’s not arsing about on YouTube these days) for a special performance. Well, he did play our eighth birthday party after all!

Chip is infamous in Wiltshire for his comedy rap tunes and “exuberant” style on stage. Be warned, this is definitely going to get chaotic, but you’ll be laughing your backside off.

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Sandwiched in the middle this month we have the country’s only (known) Scrumpy and Western rapper, the man only known as Corky.

No you didn’t misread that.

Corky has to be heard and seen to be believed. He’s a cross between West Coast gangster rap and 1700s farming tradition. We are being 100% serious. Come along if you don’t believe us!

Opening the show in June will be Swindon resident Oli Norman, who could be seen as the only “serious” musician on this month’s bill, but don’t let that fool you. Oli has some incredible songs, echoing Canadian star City and Colour amongst many other influences. Another shining prospect from the Wiltshire area, and continuing our tradition of opening the night with a singer/ songwriter...

WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FRONT!

Chip Daddy

The Night of The Ocelot

Loved, feared and potentially sought for questioning in three counties, Chip Daddy has agreed to grace us with one of his rare musical performances this month, and we couldn’t be more excited to see him back on a stage!

Starting out in Devizes during secondary school, Chip quickly gained a reputation for being a bit cheeky and quick witted with his comedy rap tunes in the vein of Rizzle Kicks and Lonely Island.

But with a more rural spin.

These days he spends his time making content for his YouTube channel, and has become a bit of an internet star with over 100,000 subscribers. This is going to be a comeback that will dwarf Rocky, the Mighty Ducks and even Jesus. www.youtube.com/user/ChipDaddyTV

Corky

The man, the myth, the legend that is Corky brings his popular brand of West Coast US gangster rap with West Country sensibilities to The Vic! As rural as a pint of cider in the middle of a crop circle, Corky is the self proclaimed leader of the Scrumpy and Western movement, with tunes that tackle the price of milk to Wookey Hole and describing the roller-coaster of emotions that come from being left in Devizes on a murky Saturday night.

Fans of Professor Elemental, Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer et al will be all over this, so come down and check out the leader of the new West Country Nation. www.facebook.com/wurzelCorky

Oli Norman We say it time and again, but our local area is producing some incredible talent, and Oli Norman is a prime example of that.

Oli wields his acoustic guitar with a calm and considered power, with poignant and emotive lyrics and a real driving sense of grounded musical skill.

This young chap is essentially our anchor for the night, providing a classic singer/songwriter experience to ease you in to our birthday evening before the chaos of our other two acts.

Get down early and catch one of our area’s brightest upcoming musicians. www.facebook.com/OliNormanMusic www.theocelot.co.uk

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Level III - Swindon Level III will be pop punk and alt rock central on June 30 with Junior heading a star cast of local bands

Kicking off the Summer at Level III

Remember these good ol’ Furnace days? Get yourself down to the Reunion Night on June 3 at Level III and throw some old skool shapes

Mick O’ Toole will be celebrating 40 Years of Punk on June 24

June starts off with a bang at Level III, with DJ Dust’s Furnace Reunion Night on June 3, an evening packed wall-to-wall with all of the classic tunes and tracks played in the Furnace nightclub (the old moniker for Level III) between 2002 and 2013 when the famous venue closed.

You’ll be able to hear anything from Adam & The Ants to The Charlatans and all the way back around to Motley Crue and Kasabian. Go back in time for a one-off Furnace comeback! You won’t be disappointed, of that the Level III team are certain.

A couple of weeks later Level III have their second round of DOOM, the rock/punk/metal club night for the alternative crowd of Swindon and beyond. Remember: The bottom and top of town aren’t your only options for a good night out. If ZZ Top, Green Day, Evanescence, Iron Maiden and The White Stripes are your sort of thing, Level III have mountains of rock waiting for you on Saturday June 17. The team will be taking your requests and entry is free before 10pm.

On June 24 Level III will be hosting local cider punk

favourites Mick O’Toole for a celebration of 40 years of UK punk. They’ll be joined by two other local punk stalwarts (not announced at the time of printing) for a fiercely proud show that aims to pay tribute to a musical, social and political movement that shook the very foundations of British society four decades ago. Tickets are only £5 in advance.

To finish off the month on June 30, Level III have a pop punk show to top all grassroots pop punk shows! Exciting new acts Junior and Coast To Coast will be taking time out of their busy gig schedules for an energetic evening of soaring riffs and unique, young talent including All Ears Avow and middlenamekill. Tickets are only £4 and are available from the Level III website - www.leveliii.co.uk ARE YOU A PROMOTER? DO YOU HAVE A GIG IDEA? Level III are looking for promoters, bands and collaborators to put on more, exciting shows in the future. If you think you’ve got a great concept for a gig or think you could pack out Swindon’s only medium-sized music venue shoot an email over to info@leveliii.co.uk

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Music News

Marlborough pubs band together to host their very own Music Festival

Due to Marlborough Jazz Festival being scaled back after last year’s issues surrounding traffic management from Wiltshire Council, the pubs in the town have decided to band together and host their own music festival so residents and event goers don’t miss out.

So, from July 14 - 16, you can skip between many of the establishments in Marlborough including The Bear, The Lamb and The Royal Oak, who have all organised their own events so you can spend the day catching some of the best local musical talent including George Wilding, Mike Barham, Jamie R Hawkins and many more.

Western Audio Recording and Rehearsal opens in Swindon

Recording engineer, musician and now entrepreneur Sam Bates has officially opened his new studio in Swindon, in collaboration with Front of House Management. Featuring a 700sq ft live room and great equipment, they’re geared up for everything from soloists up to orchestras and anything in between. facebook.com/westernaudiorecording

Joyce Manor to headline The Bullingdon in July

Acclaimed Los Angeles band Joyce Manor have announced a UK and Ireland tour in July this year, including dropping into The Bullingdon in Oxford on July 5. Joyce Manor will be touring in support of their latest album Cody, which was released last year via Epitaph.

For tickets, head to www.thebullingdon.co.uk

Jamie Cullum, The Jacksons and more at Nocturne Live this month

Nocturne Live returns to Blenheim Palace from Thursday June 15, with the opening night concert featuring The Royal Philharmonic Concert Orchestra performing the music of John Williams.

Also taking place across the weekend will be award-winning composer Max Richter (Friday 16), a triple-header from Jamie Cullum, Gregory Porter and Corinne Bailey Rae (Saturday 17) and The Jacksons and Kool & The Gang (Sunday 18).

Since launching in 2015, the Nocturne concert series has firmly established itself as one of the leading events on the UK live music calendar. Alongside the array of world class acts on offer each evening, Nocturne can be an all-day affair with VIP dining in the State Rooms, a stroll in the Palace’s vast grounds or a waterside picnic.

Tickets are available from www.nocturnelive.com.

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Gig list Thursday June 1 - Sunday June 18 Devizes Arts Festival Multiple Venues - Devizes Wiltshire www.devizesartsfestival.org.uk Thursday June 1 Future Perfect presents - The Pains of Being Pure at Heart 7.30pm - The Cellar, Oxford Singers Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham

The Recreation Ground, Calne www.calnefest.co.uk

SoP Live present: Ali Finneran 8pm - The Tuppenny, Swindon

Glee Comedy - Sol Berstein + Luke Toulson + Mark Olver 7pm - Glee Club @ The Bullingdon, Oxford

Tripolor 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

New: Music Showcase 7.30pm - Corn Exchange, Newbury Dirty Earth Band 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney

Tigmus presents - Sam Lee and Friends + Duotone 8pm - The Sheldonian Theatre, Oxford

Whole Lotta DC 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Krissy Matthews Duo 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

People Like Us 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough

Friday June 2 - Sunday June 4 Wychwood Festival Cheltenham Racecourse, Cheltenham Gloucestershire www.wychwoodfestival.com

The Chalk Outlines + Support 8.30pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

Friday June 2 Glue feat. Dr. Rubinstein 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Jack Moore - (un)Official CalneFest Afterparty 9pm - The London Road Inn, Calne

Slowdive + Ulrika Spacek 7pm - O2 Academy, Oxford The Pretty Things 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Geoff Lakeman + Rattlesnake Highway Duo 7.30pm - The Village Pump, Trowbridge Newbury Unplugged 7.30pm - ACE Space, Newbury Going Underground 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon KoRn Again 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney John Walsh Trio 8.30pm - The Cellar Bar, Devizes Salisbury Live - Alabaster Queen + Wilton Sleeper + AJ Wolff 8.30pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury Locarno Beat 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon Metson 9pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Rod Stewart Tribute 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford The Worried Men 9pm - Coopers Arms, Pewsey Vice Versa 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Saturday June 3 CalneFest

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Hooch 9pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon

Rattlesnake Voodoo 9pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Soul Classic Xplosion 9pm - The Marlborough Arms, Cirencester Gloucestershire The Furnace Reunion Night 9pm - Level 3, Swindon The Worried Men 9pm - The Buttercross Inn, Chippenham

Grove Street Families ( Download Festival Warm Up) 8.30pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury Lee Pryor 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Friday June 9 to Saturday June 10 Wallingford Blues and Beer Festival Regal Centre, Wallingford Oxfordshire www.beerandblues.co.uk Friday June 9 King Prawn + Black Candy + Kapelle 7pm - O2 Academy2 Oxford Minus The Bear 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Nowadays Tipi 7pm - The Edge, University of Bath The Skids - 40th Anniversary Show 7pm - O2 Academy, Oxford Unsigned - Inside and Out 7pm - Trowbrige Town Hall, Wiltshire Come Together: Barb Jungr and John McDaniel perform The Beatles 7.30pm - New Greenham Arts, Thatcham Whole Lotta Led 7.30pm - Neeld Community and Arts Centre, Chippenham

Vulcan Reign 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Vamos Promotions present - I, The Lion + Big Happy Forever + Socket 8pm - The Old Road Tavern, Chippenham

Kingz of Leon 9.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

MUSED - Muse Tribute 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney

Sunday June 4 Bloodstock: Metal to the Masses 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Stop Stop + Saints of Sin 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Groovelator 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

The Billy Joel Songbook performed by Elio Pace and his Band 8pm - Corn Exchange, Newbury

Tuesday June 6 The Strypes 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Voodoo Room: A Night of Hendrix and Cream 8pm - Arlington Arts Centre, Newbury

Misfires 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon Wednesday June 7 Rhys Lewis 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Starsailor + Bang Bang Romeo 7pm - O2 Academy, Oxford Thursday June 8 Singers Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham

Pussycat and the Dirty Johnsons + Polly Pik Pocketz 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Ulysses + Joe McCorriston + Chloe Glover 8.30pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury Meccano Men 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon One Of Us (ABBA Tribute) 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford

Gig List 2 Tone All Skas 9.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Organised Fun feat. Pender Street Steppers 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Saturday June 10 Witney Music Festival The Leys, Witney Oxfordshire www.witneymusicfestival.co.uk Nowadays Family Tipi 6pm - The Edge, University of Bath Din Twins present - The Travis Waltons + Daisy + Charmpit 7.30pm - The Cellar, Oxford Sons of Pitches 7.30pm - City Hall Salisbury FUSED 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney P30 Memorial Mash Up Part II feat. DJ Guv 8pm - O2 Academy, Oxford Syntronix 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon Rockabilly Rumble 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough The Soap Girls 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Elvis 9pm - The Rose and Crown, Malmesbury Snatch It Back 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon The Strays 9.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Zing 9.30pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon Angel Up Front 10pm - The Locomotive, Swindon Bump. feat Cyantific 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Sunday June 11 Retro Electro 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Monday June 12 The Rainbreakers 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Never Found + City Of Ashes + Defences 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

9.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Oxford Underground 7pm - O2 Academy2 Oxford

Saturday June 17 Nick Mulvey 7pm - O2 Academy2 Oxford

Too Tangled + Tiger Mendoza + Reels 8pm - The Jericho Tavern, Oxford Thursday June 15 to Sunday June 18 Forest Live 2017 8pm - The National Arboretum, nr Tetbury Thursday June 15 Singers Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Darren Hunt 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Elasea + A Place To Call Home + Getrz 8.30pm - The Victoria, Swindon John & Maggie Carty 8.30pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury Disco Ma Non Troppo 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Friday June 16 Hunter and The Bear + Model Aeroplanes 7pm - O2 Academy2 Oxford The Hummingbirds 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Andy Cutting 7.30pm - New Greenham Arts, Thatcham Moogieman and The Masochists (Album Launch) + Crandle + All Is Worth 7.30pm - The Cellar, Oxford Emergency Banter 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney

w.A.m - Ska Punk Night 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Scott Freeman & the Tokyo Sex Wales + Support 8.30pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury System D 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough The Luke Doherty Band 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Alicia 9pm - The Crown, Lechlade Fubar 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon The Be-Bops 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Hamsters From Hell 9.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Mojo 9.30pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon Simple feat. Helena Hauff 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Sunday June 18 No Middle Ground 5pm - The Bell, Wantage Dance a la Plage + Victors + Who’s Alice? + Sam Martin 7pm - O2 Academy2 Oxford

In The Frame 8pm - ACE Space, Newbury

Shootin’ the Crow 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

The Intercepteurs + SN Dubstation 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Thursday June 22 Merithian + Ursus + Edenfalls 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

The Refusal + The DeRellas 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Metal Gods 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon Michael Brown 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford

Tuesday June 13 Oxford Underground 7pm - O2 Academy2 Oxford

Mudslide Morris and the Revelators 9pm - Tap Social Movement, Botley

Wednesday June 14

The Redhot Trio 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Eric Bell 8pm - Arlington Arts Centre, Newbury

Amor Fati 9pm - The Cellar, Oxford

Misfires 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

SE10 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Rockabilly Rumble 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Sound and The Sirens

SoP Live present: The August List + Canute’s Plastic Army 8pm - The Tuppenny, Swindon Spotlight Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Kevin Lovatt (Johnny Cash Tribute) 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Friday June 23 to Sunday July 2 ChippFest Multiple Venues, Chippenham Wiltshire www.chippfest.org Offbeat Festival

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Gig list Arts at the Old Fire Station, Oxford www.offbeatoxford.co.uk Friday June 23 Paladin Promotions presents - Ghost of The Avalanche + Self Help + Rats Eat Rats 7pm - The Cellar, Oxford

8pm - The Wheatsheaf, Oxford Magic of Motown 8pm - City Hall Salisbury Shepherds Pie 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Singers Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham

The Night of The Ocelot - Chip Daddy + Corky + Oli Norman 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon Jack Moore 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Breeze 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney

The Willows 8pm - ACE Space, Newbury

Richard Durrant Stringhenge Tour 8pm - St Nicholas Church, Baulking

Electric Troubadours 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough

Toxic 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

The Buck Rage 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

The AK Poets 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Liquor and Poker 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon

Semi Urban Fox + Fuji 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

The Intercepteurs + Support 8.30pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

Mudslide Morris and the Revelators 9pm - The Old Anchor, Abingdon-on-Thames

Gina 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford

Dobermann + Jenny Darren & The Ladykillers 9.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Junior + Coast to Coast + All Ears Avow + Middlenamekill 7.30pm - Level 3, Swindon

Penfold 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Make The Call 9.30pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon

Ruzz Guitar’s Blues Revue 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon

Sunday June 25 Bloodstock: Metal to the Masses 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

The Bright Eyes 9.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Saturday June 24 Richard Digance: The Golden Anniversary Tour 7pm - Salisbury Arts Centre The Inflatables + Roddy Radiation + The Skabilly Rebels + King Hammond + More 7pm - O2 Academy, Oxford 40 Years of UK Punk ft. Mick O’ Toole + Special Guests 7.30pm - Level 3, Swindon Freefall 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Gappy Tooth Industries presents - The Easter Island Statues + The Other Ones + Breezewax

Friday June 30 to Sunday July 2 Minety Music Festival Kinches Fields, Minety Wiltshire www.minetymusicfestival.co.uk Friday June 30

Richie’s Experience Makers 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney The Newgrass Cutters 8pm - Arlington Arts Centre, Newbury Vice Versa 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Ian Luther 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Ruby and the Chain 8.30pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

Tuesday June 27 Tom Clarke (The Enemy) 7pm - O2 Academy2 Oxford

The All-Nighters 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Soul Classics Xplosion 9pm - The Cellar Bar, Devizes Wednesday June 28 Hitman Blues Band 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Thursday June 29 Chris Holmes of W.A.S.P 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Jesse Malin + Retroyka 7pm - O2 Academy2 Oxford

Corsairs 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon Locarno Beat 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford People Like Us 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Penfold 9.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Throwing Shapes #002 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Hayseed Dixie bring their Rockgrass sound to Reading What do you get you when AC/DC fans play rock covers in a Bluegrass style? HAYSEED DIXIE at Sub89 in Reading on the 11 July, that’s what!

14 albums down the line with fans including Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon and thousands of shows under their belt it promises to be a great night.

Dance with them as they probe the queries: “Why do we still believe there is such a thing as ‘race’?” “Are concepts like ‘nations’ and ‘nationality’ really useful to people who lay bricks or perform kidney stone surgeries?” and “Why does every song always sound better with a banjo in the mix?” www.sub89.com

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Fri 2nd - Salisbury Live - Alabaster Queen + Wilton Sleeper + AJ Wolff Sat 3rd - The Chalk Outlines + Support Thurs 8th - Grove Street Families ( Download Festival Warm Up) Fri 9th - Ulysses + Joe McCorriston + Chloe Glover Thurs 15th - John & Maggie Carty (Tickets £10) Fri 16th - Bands to be announced Sat 17th - Scott Freeman & the Tokyo Sex Wales + Support Fri 23rd - The Intercepteurs + Support Sat 24th - Winni Gate Comedy Club Fri 30th - Ruby and the Chain

Agony Girl Ten year old Annabel loved celebrating her birthday last month. But she’s still had time to answer your problems.

We ask her the questions and these are her answers.... honest!

Dear Annabel, I don’t know who to vote for in the upcoming General Election. One candidate is acting like Santa wanting to give us everything and the other is acting like Scrooge wanting to take everything away. Who should I vote for Scrooge or Santa?

Yours The British Public Father Christmas. Because that’s the nicer person obviously. Why would you want Scrooge who takes everything away? That means we’ll have no money, no homes, no shops and we’ll all have to live wildly unless Scrooge takes away the trees as well.

Dear Annabel, Does God exist?

Daryl, Abingdon Not sure. Because in the olden days people used to have big holes in the wall where they would talk to God in castles time and everything but nowadays people say God isn’t real so it’s what you believe and not other people. But I’m still not sure.

Dear Annabel, My husband is acting very mysteriously. He’s always ‘late’ back from work and constantly says he needs to go out somewhere. The other day he smelt of a woman’s perfume and had lipstick on his collar and I also discovered a different mobile phone. Is he a spy?

Sandra, Swindon Well, he might be cheating on you. If he smells of women’s perfume and he’s got lipstick on his collar.

What do you think? He’s probably late back from work because he always goes to that person’s house.

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Dear Annabel, Everybody’s out to get me and all because I’ve tried to be friendly to these other Russian guys. I’m only repaying the favour as they helped me get elected but now it’s like a witch hunt and I’m the most mistreated politician in history. What can I do?

Donald, Washington Go away and flush yourself down the toilet as Donald Trump is a poo. Sorry though.

Dear Annabel, Why did the elephant cross the road?

Barry, Swindon Cos he wanted to smack everybody’s bottoms.

Dear Annabel, How do I become a mermaid?

Daryl, Walcot You’ve got to drown first. But before you drown you’ve got to find clams and open them and find a pearl and eat the pearl and then you’ll be able to breathe underwater and when you can breathe you’ll go to this layer and then they will turn you into a mermaid as you can breathe underwater. It’s a secret layer under the sea. PS I made this up so don’t really try it as you might drown.

Write into Annabel at editorial@theocelot.co.uk