Ocelot 134 august 2017 final artwork

No: 134 August 2017

Wiltshire, Oxfordshire and West Berkshire

Free

BMX 4 Life Former Agony Boy George Hill gives us an insight on why BMX is a lifestyle choice and not just a hobby p16

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#134 For Starters

AUGUST ISSUE

04 Michael Bosley + Luke Coleman 06 Encyclopaedia Oceloticca 08 The Bassett Rivers Echo 10 Writers Block 12 Running for My Life Lifestyle

16 Get A Life 18 Style 20 Tech 22 Screenzone Brews and Eats

26 Wine not?

27 Brewery Bird 28 Recipe 29 History of... Marmalade Arts and Culture

30 The Theatre List 32 DOCA 34 Pride Music

36 The Ocelot Presents 37 Gig Monkey 38 O2 Academy Oxford 39 Pewsey Music Festival 40 Music News 42 In association with The Ocelot 44 The Gig List The Final Bit of the magazine

46 Agony Girl

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A family affair

Looking through this magazine I’ve gone a bit selfindulgent this month. My family seem to be on every page.

But bear with us.

First up is me.

I’ve done a double page spread on my ‘Running for My Life’ column where I talk about my training for the Birmingham Marathon in aid of ICP Support.

Because I’m now entering the fundraising part of the training I thought I better tell you what I’m fundraising for which is my family and the charity that helped my family into being. So a bit close to my heart this one!

(So please indulge me if you feel I’ve gone a bit Bob Geldof on your asses on the asking for money front!)

On top of that we have the welcome return for one month only of the original Agony Boy, who started writing his column at the tender age of four back when we started in 2006. He’s now a muscly guy aged 15 who has some serious BMX skills. He’s written us a heartfelt article about his love of his bike and how it is his escape and his life.

And to cap it all off we have my middle daughter’s Annabel’s Agony Girl column. With her younger sister four-year-old Amy, impatiently, waiting in the wings to take over it won’t be long now before the current incarnation of Agony Girl wants to retire.

But it’s still The Ocelot. It’s still a bit silly and it’s still got all the arts and culture and music news you love as well as our popular columns. Anyway, see you next month.

Write in to me at jamie@theocelot.co.uk

Jamie Hill

Editor: Jamie Hill - jamie@theocelot.co.uk Deputy: Ben Fitzgerald - ben@theocelot.co.uk Sales: Dave Stewart dave@theocelot.co.uk - 07872 176999 Rosy Presley rosy@positivemediagroup. press - 07717 501790 Telephone: 01793 781986 Publisher: Positive Media Group, Unit 3, Arclite House, Peatmoor, Swindon SN5 5YN Printers: Stones, Badbury

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For Starters How to stay safe in the summer...

The Nerd’s Last Word

by Michael Bosley

Don’t drive into things - it’s generally considered dangerous to drive your car into other objects at speed. Try to avoid this as it may harm you and other people as well as damage your sick whip.

Don’t eat handfuls of colourful pills – pills are a bit like Skittles, which is why they’re so appealing, but unlike skittles, they pack a massive, psychedelic punch. If you take too many, you could overdose and start seeing talking horses and rainbows shooting out of your hands, just like skittles.

Don’t wee on electricity – we get it, you’re a rebel and you play by your own rules, but electricity has its own rules and they’re pretty strict. You either follow them, or you die.

Don’t fall into deep holes – deep holes are really hard to get out of,

in case you didn’t know. They’re also dark, wet and full of nasty things that smell bad and want to bite you, like Piers Morgan.

Don’t stare at the sun - it’s tempting.

That big, cheerful warm ball just hovering up there, enticing you to gaze into its yellowy brilliance, but it’s all a lie. The sun is deceitful and is simply trying to steal your collection of expired debit cards.

Don’t arrange to pick up gumtree products in secluded locations – most gumtree users are trying to rob or murder your pretty ass. FACT! Stay alert, stay sassy and carry something hard and heavy to hit them with if they try and reach for your juicy loins. A brass bust of a young Henry VI should do the trick.

Don’t press on a wasp – contrary to popular belief, wasps do not enjoy deep tissue massages, but instead enjoy being left the fuck alone. Leave wasps alone.

Reset your trip counter each time you refuel your car –every time you forget, a Chelsea pensioner cries.

Take away memories, leave only footprints (and notes recommending where improvements can be made) – local authorities and park trusts won’t know that their grass is a bit scratchy or their beach sand a bit too coarse if you don’t tell them. Use yellow Post-Its, they’re easy to see.

Don’t listen to the haters – sure, that guy might be telling you that you can’t keep running across all six live lanes of the M1, but he’s just a jealous hater.

Don’t bring your daughter to the slaughter – Iron Maiden are usually reliable sources for sensible advice, but their sage words fail scrutiny here. Bringing your daughter to the slaughter may in fact cause long term emotional distress and ruin an otherwise civilised tour of the abattoir.

Our man in Iraq, Cambodia or wherever...

Off The Grid with Luke Coleman - Our man in Iraq The night before I flew home for a break last month, I was asked about my plans, longer term.

Now that the conflict was winding down, was I going to move on? (Many people don’t know that I landed here some years before ISIL rose to prominence.)

I took a sip of beer and considered.

It simply occurred to me - it’s time to move on.

Initially I thought about wintering in Yakutsk, a weird ambition of mine. When I realised that it’s so frigging cold that you can only be outside for 10 minutes at a time, I reconsidered.

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But the seed was planted, and I knew that by the end of October, Iraq would no longer be my home.

I’m tired, I’m done. I’ve got some thoughts about 2018, but I need a break, and I think I’ve found the solution.

I have a friend who is building a health centre, dive school and guest house on an island in Cambodia.

Just so happens that November, December and January are the best months to visit.

I’m going to go and help out, dive, get a tan....and put Iraq to the back of my mind.

Until the end of the year, I’ll remain Your Man In Iraq, then Cambodia, then....who knows?

Perhaps I should look for a job in Ocelot Country.

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Science Fact: That’s some tight genes

by Ben Fitzgerald

Some science.. yesterday

There’s a quiet revolution going on in the world of medical science that promises to transform the way that conditions are diagnosed, shape treatments and even identify potential illnesses before they rear their unwelcome heads.

The 100,000 Genomes Project, as the name suggests, is a plan to sequence 100,000 genomes from around 70,000 people. A genome, as I’m sure you know, is the complete DNA blueprint for any individual organism - it’s the information that makes you who you are… as opposed to a Jerusalem artichoke, or Peter Andre.

If you’re anything like me, your understanding of genetics will be gleaned from the odd paragraph of a dog-eared Letts revision guide or the cartoon bit at the start of Jurassic Park. It’s the study of the way particular features or diseases are inherited through genes passed down from one generation to the next. But, like most things, it’s a lot more complex than that. Scientists are beginning to overturn the

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Attractive models pretend to be scientists

old idea that a single gene determines that you will be very tall or particularly good at table tennis.

The sharpest minds in the world of genetic research now believe that groups of genes work together and are influenced by a huge variety of environmental and other factors - and the DNA that sits between the genes also plays an important role.

Swindon’s own Great Western Hospital has joined forces with Oxford’s NHS Genomic Medicine Centre to take part in the project and is encouraging patients with rare diseases and their families to provide their genetic data.

Dr Raman Sharma, a Consultant Paediatrician at the Great

Western Hospital, said: “We’re delighted to be involved in this project which really is paving the way for personalised medicine.

“Whole genome sequencing, which is an essential part of setting up a genomic medicine service, has only been available for the last few years. Thanks to these innovative methods, the NHS now has the opportunity to turn important scientific discoveries about DNA and the way it works, into smarter ways of looking at diseases, their causes and how to treat them.”

Patients are encouraged to speak with their doctor to find out if they meet the eligibility criteria.

For more information visit www.genomicsengland.co.uk

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Bassett

The

Rivers Scary news for scary times...

Echo

EXCLUSIVE: Strawberry milkshakes come from pink cows p65

Primary school class president accused of colluding with the Russians

by Kit Chentable

BASSETT Rivers Primary School has appointed an independent Sixth Year pupil to look into accusations that Year Four student Ronald Lump colluded with the Kremlin to get himself elected class president.

Eight year-old Ronald was named the 2017 fourth year class president after a controversial election held earlier this year which saw his opponent Hilary Stinton under investigation by teachers after text messages were revealed, that she thought most of her class were ‘big smelly bums’.

But new evidence has come to light that President Lump held several private meetings with high-powered Russian diplomats at his family’s exclusive crazy golf course resort Mar E Lego where they informed him of their ability to plant the incriminating and now infamous ‘big smelly

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bums’ text messages.

According to sources the meetings also dealt with other controversial election issues including putting up a wall around the playground to keep out ‘girls’ and getting rid of measures introduced by the previous administration that every student should have access to the school nurse.

Having recently met with President Putin to discuss the investigation, President Lump said: “Remember, when you hear the words “sources say” from the Fake Media, often times those sources are made up and do not exist.

“This is the greatest Witch Hunt in political history. Sad! “I strongly pressed President Putin twice about Russian meddling in our election. He vehemently denied it. I’ve already given my opinion.....

“Make Bassett Rivers Primary School Year Four Great Again!”

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Protesters slam regeneration plans because... you know... change Bassett Rivers MP Bane ‘Drive-by’ Bullet’s monthly Column

By Livi Ngroom Plans for a £27 million rejuvenation of Bassett Rivers could potentially hit the skids because... you know... change.

The plans would see developers pumping in money to the derelict town centre building a multi-million pound flagship venue as well as a complete revamp of the ailing shopping centre. The tastefully designed development would completely revitalise the economy of Bassett Rivers providing 3,000 new jobs and it would also entice countless new companies into the area.

But protestors against the plans have put in objections to it as they feel that they don’t like it as... you know... change.

Developer Melvin Bogtrotter said: “We’ve gone through a lengthy consultation process and have hit a brick wall.

“The protestors have managed to get everybody in Bassett Rivers to sign a petition against it and have started up a Facebook forum, where they delete any comments that don’t agree with their position that they don’t want the new development because

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of... you know... change.”

The protestors have now formed a group called BRICK, which stands for Bassett Rivers Inhabitants Change Killers.

Tess Armchair-Clark, the chair of the group, said: “We are completely against this development. We understand that it will create massive social change that will improve Bassett Rivers beyond any recognition but we really can’t support something like this because... you know... change.

“Everything around us is crumbling into pieces and it’s becoming dangerous to walk down the street without being instantly killed by falling masonry but, apart from the lengthy consultation period where they asked our opinion and we couldn’t be bothered to show up, they never asked us if we wanted this project in the first place although it will improve all of our lives and take Bassett Rivers into the 21st Century.

“Can’t they get it through their heads that we just simply don’t want it because... you know... change.”

Yo. Dis iz savage yeah.

I iz like bein’ an MP 4 only da last few weekz and it iz totally calm.

Da housez of Parliament iz well weird. I iz like forced 2 go dere by me mate Corbyn but when I got dere wiv da removal van dey stop me n say dat although I iz like a representative of da house dat I can’t move me sofa, bong, TV n bed in as dat iz not da type of house dat it iz.

But den dey gave me a load of cash 2 buy a crib in London as me second home wiv someting called expensez which wuz sick. I tried 2 explain dat I don’t even have a first home az me biatch (mum) had kicked me out afta findin’ me porn and bong collection unda da bed and dat I av bin sleeping on da sofa of me homie P Diddy Ha Ha Hum. So I az bought a house in dis place called Hyde Park. Well when I say house I mean tent as I needed some spare cash 2 make sure dat I could afford 2 eat at Maccy Dz every nite.

I tink it iz like bein’ called Hyde Park as I ‘av to keep hidin’ me tent away from da police each nite.

Da first day in parliament wuz well sick as dis man called Black Dong came along and opened it wiv hiz mum who had to get 2 da racez to not miss da 2.30 at Ascot.

I even got told off at one point for not wearing a tie but den dis ovva geezer in a weird wig lookz ova n sayz dat it iz fine 4 me 2 not wear a tie but maybe me Public Enemy ‘F**k da Police’ T-shirt iz a bit much.

Dere iz dis robot lady called Teresa May who sitz opposite me man Corbyn and she just keepz sayin’ da same tings over and over again on a loop.

She lookz a bit sad all da time as if her world haz ended but den keepz sayin’ stuff like we need 2 get on wiv da job before lookin’ like she haz just been told dat Love Island won’t be back for a new seriez.

Respect!

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Writers Block

Part 6: Detained at Miami Airport, the FBI and Les Dawson In the sixth and final of a series of articles Tobias Baughan blogs about a life-changing trip to Mexico. We join him as he’s on his way back to blighty with a two week stay in the US. The American I’m speaking to is very nice, asking lots of questions about me coming to his country.

He’s feeling so nice, as we stand facing each other in the arrivals section of Miami airport that he selects me for special treatment, ‘THE VIP SERVICE’ he announces, leading me to the front of the passport queue for a further conversation with his friend, who tells me to get against the wall.

Shortly after I’m taken to the arrivals area where they keep me and 40 other VIP guests so we can play ‘name bingo’. To play name bingo you have to sit in the room, wondering what might happen to you and why you’ve been selected for name bingo while you wait for your name to be called. When your name’s called if you’re a winner you get to leave the room and go on holiday to America (which is a good prize) but if not you have to go home. After seven hours I win the top prize and get to go to America, as a VIP. They tell me if I stay longer than the two weeks I said I would I’m bad at the game. Events since the time of this incident have shown that I can

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follow those complicated rules. ...In my head this entire incident plays out like the start of a detective novel. An Englishman would be detained at an airport for no good reason, we would surmise at least from a series of blog entries he’d written (shown in montage) which would have us label him as harmless if slightly eccentric. But after they let him go an FBI agent shows up who thinks he might in fact have been an international criminal travelling under a false alias and made to look like a skinny person from the English countryside by a disgraced plastic surgeon...

We leave the airport in my English expat friend Darren’s BMW soft top borrowed from his mother in law, so who says they’re all bad? ‘I do,’ says Les Dawson, popping his head out from between the back seats and making a funny face, escaping to a nearby restaurant on a pogo stick.

Totally Miami dude.

We blur through the heat haze of the next few days drinking on the rooftop of a hotel we are not staying at by the sea front; take a turn the wrong direction down the freeway and get helped out by a remarkably unsuspicious policeman; tip correctly in dive bars; drive off (the right way this time) into the open, watery

expanse of the Everglades: an endless marsh filled with crocodiles and anacondas, which ecology boffins will tell you is actually a river. We make a circle on a tour bus through the landscape. The tour guide tells us how the only person who was ever attacked by a crocodile here was saved by their mother, who freed her child from its jaws with her bare hands.

‘Think about that before you challenge your mother in law to a mud wrestling contest,’ says Les Dawson, dropping his head below the canopy of the tour bus, activating his jetpack and flying off towards the gift shop to buy some key rings. The ‘we’re stupid and out of our depth but English so have good accents’ card proves handy again soon, not to plead for our lives with a crocodile during this visit thankfully, but because we have neglected to bring the demanded change with us to the huge bridge that crosses the ocean towards Tampa on the freeway. Whoever said the best things in life are free was certainly proven to be right again. ...With no leads on where the international criminal is the FBI are stumped. At least until they see someone matching his description in a BMW soft top. After tailing the car they catch up at a toll

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Writers Block

bridge, but don’t have any change to pay the fare. No one is English so they don’t have a valid excuse for not knowing to bring it. They show their FBI ID cards to the toll keeper. ‘We don’t take card,’ he says...

Thankfully there’s not a croc in sight a few days later as I head out once more into the Floridian wilderness for some family fun with Darren and Annie, my transatlantic bosom buddies.

We kayak along five miles of gentle water in which salty and fresh water mingles. This means there’s no crocs shopping for a diet meal of Tobias and instead we are treated to the blissful company of sleeping manatees floating meditatively below the river’s surface, raising their snouts above the water intermittently for a noseful of air, retreating again like wet stones beneath the unhurried current...

As always, however, trouble is near, poking its head into the room where I sit with my elbows and kneepads, surrounded by health and safety signs. With my aversion to news, I’d neglected to notice that a hurricane has been predicted to sweep over Florida and to this end we also spend a day or two in expectation that its stormy aftermath will sweep over us, but in the end I emerge both unmoistened and uneaten.

It’s the last few days of my trip. I go to rent a car at Sixto

to head to Key West. Things get off to an interesting start when I get into the car which turns out to be an automatic. Turning about face I head back inside to check that ‘D’ means drive ‘S’ means stop and ‘R’ reverse, because I’m only one foot from a wall, and wouldn’t want to have to pay a fine before I’ve left the car park...

Reassuringly however it turns out my instincts were right and I am shortly on my way. Hey, I might have scraped the side of the car against some metal fencing, but this almost brand new car looks even better with some go faster stripes; a fact testified later by Sixto who don’t fine me… (Thank you Sixto) Having come mildly close to sustaining some kind of injury I carry on down towards my destination, the radio on. With the Gulf of Mexico on one side and the Atlantic on the other I couldn’t be anywhere else but where I am. During the drive I don’t stick to the speed limit, but keep to the pace of the traffic, which is usually higher. In a way by doing this, I feel I am following the real rules even better than if I had not technically been breaking the law. At one stage when two cars go even further over the limit to overtake another vehicle a Dodge Viper suddenly flashes police lights that had not been visible before, an undercover cop speeding past in

turn to overtake both offending vehicles and pull them over. Not for the first time I feel like I’m in Grand Theft Auto. ...Why would an international criminal drive an economy car from Sixto instead of a premium model? The FBI ask themselves later, while trying to cook spaghetti in a toaster. One of the FBI guys, who used to take other boys’ lunch money at school gives another a dead arm and someone else comes away with a 5/10 chinese burn, which isn’t a nice thing to do to someone. Their parents have to get involved...

The next day I visit the Hemingway Museum (one of his old houses) which is great, and made more so by the guide who almost bursts into tears when he speaks at the end of Hemingway’s tragic early death, as if it had just hit him now, after doing the same talk 10 times a day, five days a week, for what must be some time, 54 years after Hemingway died. I’m not joking. He was but one of many excellent tour guides and public speakers I encountered during my time in America.

So that’s that...

At the end of the film everyone lives happily ever after, and the FBI agents give up their jobs and get nice hobbies, like knitting and flower arranging, which can be good fun if you’re into that sort of thing... THE END.

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Running for my life

Running out of gratitude

Ocelot editor Jamie Hill is planning to run the Birmingham Marathon on October 15 in aid of ICP Support. Every month he’s been chronicling his journey.

If you want to know the reason I’m doing this marathon you don’t need to look any further than the picture above.

This is my daughter Amy Florence Hill who was born prematurely on February 12, 2013 at a tender weight of five pounds.

She was a strong girl and despite a low birth weight of just 5 pounds didn’t need any help from the special baby unit for breathing. This is unlike her brother George, now 15, who was born a couple of weeks earlier than Amy at 33 weeks and needed to be in the unit for the first three months of his life.

He weighed 3lb 3oz when he was born at 30 weeks and three days.

The middle sister Annabel, born in 2007, was also born prematurely but although smaller than Amy was also strong enough to not need to go into care.

In my mind, there is one reason that we are lucky now to have three beautiful healthy children and that is the charity ICP Support.

My wife, Rachel, suffers from something called Intrahepatic Cholestasis in Pregnancy (also known as

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intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy or ICP) which basically means her liver stops functioning properly during pregnancy. This type of liver damage may occur during the second or third trimester of pregnancy.

The risks associated with ICP include an increased risk of premature birth and, before the advent of modern obstetric and new born care, a risk of still births. For those who suffer with the disease it usually manifests itself with itching.

Without the help of ICP Support in helping Rachel and I deal with this, there’s a chance that our three children might not be here today and I will be forever grateful for their help.

The charity, founded by Jenny Chambers who is also Amy’s Godmother, helped us get the treatment that Rachel sorely needed. They were there every step of the way.

But like every charity it can only survive by money that is used to provide the support and to help with the much-needed research into the condition.

And that is why I’m doing this marathon. I want to

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Running for my life

give something back to the people who helped us. I want to help others who are going through what we went through.

I’m doing this marathon for myself. I’m doing it for my wife. I’m doing it for my children. But most of all I’m doing it for ICP Support. A charity that I can never be thankful enough to for all they have done for my family.

Anyone who’s been following my monthly rants in this Running for My Life column since the start of the year will know I’ve been finding it difficult.

When I volunteered to do it last October I was an overweight smoker whose idea of a marathon was a Snickers.

At the start of the year I weighed 18stone 4 pounds. I’ve lost a stone and a half since then and plan to lose another stone and a half before the big day - the total amount of three stone is the equivalent of the Easyjet luggage allowance.

Smoking, the bane of my life, proved a big challenge. I actually fell off the wagon in March and my training completely dried up but I haven’t smoked a cigarette since then mainly thanks to the discovery of Vaping and colleagues at work. I’m still a nicotine addict but a damn sight healthier one.

At the time of writing this I’ve run 10 miles, the most I’ve ever run in my life and with a mile added on per week until the big day, I’ll have run 12 miles by the time you read this.

I’ve still got a long way to go and it’s bloody daunting but my mindset is right now and barring injury or trauma I’m going to do this damn race.

I’ve now entered the fundraising part of this saga and every penny counts. If you would like to sponsor me you can chuck money at: www.justgiving.com/fundraising/james-hill36

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Get Some Music

The Allure of Electronic Music

By Caradoc Gayer I want to ask you what you think of, when you hear of Electronic Music.

Someone who keeps up with the constantly fluctuating trends in modern music today, might well feel a sense of exasperation. For after all, these days Electronic Music is everywhere.

I’m not exaggerating. Around forty years ago, the music scene was dominated by leaping guitarists and sweaty drummers. A DJ was just a guy on the radio, who talked for a bit, and put a record.

But after the creativity and sheer innovation of technicians, musicians, and DJs of the 1970s and the 1980s DJs are now seen as big stars, headlining major festivals and mixing pumping tracks in front of a huge crowd. Take Avicii, Martin Garrix, Deadmau5, Zedd, all these guys have so much popularity it’s almost overwhelming.

Excluding DJs, the number of Electronic orientated bands is dramatically on the increase.

Electronic groups are popping up all over the place, some of my personal favourite bands right now include Disclosure, Purity Ring, CHVRCHES, Bastille, Radiohead, even Coldplay, and a new group I discovered recently called Flor.

All these groups shamelessly throw themselves into the electronic genre, which is why I love listening to them.

Yet despite the popularity of electronic music, there is always a certain prejudice, and sometimes contempt surrounding it.

Traditionalists of popular music often perceive it as not ‘real’ enough.

When I hear, somebody say this, I imagine they are thinking of the “talentless showmen”. People who stand in front of some decks, a midi controller, or a laptop, hit play, and then wave their arms about

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There’s lots of knobs in Electronic Dance Music

extravagantly, whilst pretending to be manipulating the music in some way.

As someone who has been interested in producing and performing electronic music for years now, I can say with confidence that it is ‘real music’.

I won’t deny that there are people who only fake their talent and prerecord everything they play. But there are also so many extremely talented electronic musicians out there who use their diverse musical ability to make extremely well done music.

There are also lots of forgettable, processed pieces of rave music out there. But these are dwarfed by the amount of artful tracks that make you feel emotions such as euphoria, anticipation, confusion, and elation.

To make a track that belongs to the latter group, you’ll need knowledge

of music theory, music tech, and an ability to manipulate sound in programs such as Logic and Ableton, using varieties of equipment such as analogue synthesizers, guitars, keyboards, the list goes on. And this, believe it or not, requires a hell of a lot of talent.

There’s always something unique about Electronic Music, which is what has always fascinated me. It represents forces and ideas beyond human understanding and makes you feel like you have been transported somewhere else entirely.

Now and again, I feel as if the world is crying out for a change from the endless guitar driven songs, and lyrics about unrequited love. Electronic Music is my answer to that, and I feel that it should be other people’s answer as well.

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Get A Life

BMX - The ride of my life You might remember George Hill. Until about five years ago he was our regular Agony Boy columnist - a column he had written since the age of four. He’s now grown up a fair bit and has turned into a muscly young man absolutely obsessed with BMX. Here he speaks about his love...

By George Hill Cuts and grazes covered my arms; I stood up after being flung from my bike for the second time trying this one backflip.

More and more stones and small bits of glass stuck into my flesh every time I fell. I knew I had to land it now, if I didn’t then the fear of crashing may put me off forever. As I rose I looked at my mate Matty (who was witnessing my crashes and cringing at every attempt) and simply told him: “Third time lucky, right?”

Of course, with my luck, I should’ve known this wasn’t going to be the case and as I started to flip for the third time, was quickly launched from my BMX again.

At this point I was tempted to quit but decided against it and rose to my feet. I quickly picked my bike up from the ground, checked it over to make sure nothing had broken on impact and started my run up to the ramp again.

As I approached the lip and started to rotate, I noticed that the speed of the spin felt perfect.

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Not too fast but not too slow. Before I knew it I had landed and the cheers from those around surrounded me.

That end result is just one reason why bicycle motocross, also known as BMX, is probably the most important factor in my life (after family and friends of course…) and has many more reasons for being so.

One of the things about BMX that many others and myself have come to love is the thriving community that surrounds it. If you’ve ever been to any competition involving BMX like ‘Nass Festival’ you’ll understand exactly where I’m coming from.

There’s the constant cheering from the crowd as riders perform their tricks in style. Then there’s the excitement that everyone is experiencing as they wait for the winners to be announced. However, what I like most about the BMX community is that everyone has each others’ backs.

As a BMX rider myself, I feel confident that if I travelled to a skatepark that I’d never been to before and knew no one there I could probably

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Get A Life

still get along with just about any rider that I encountered.

Just the other day in fact, I was riding through my town with a mate and we arrived at a stair-set that we wanted to ride. As we got there though, we saw that more BMX riders were already using the spot.

We ended up speaking to them and actually rode with them for the rest of the day, it was a good day and now we ride with them quite a lot.

Moving on, BMX is one of the most creative sports I’ve ever witnessed. Riders are constantly coming up with new ways to tackle the obstacles (stair sets, rails etc.) that they stumble upon. Often, obstacles like walls are even used to perform feats. Even the way that a rider joins tricks together leads to creative and unique variations in lines. There are endless possibilities of things to try on a bike, which in a way, leads to endless amounts of fun.

BMX also gives you an extremely high feeling of satisfaction and achievement when you land a new trick. Especially when you’re beginning, you’ll feel extremely happy with your progression because it’s

(like most things) easier to improve as a new rider which means the amount of tricks you’ll learn will be greater. Progression is key in BMX and a great factor as to why people stick with it.

Not only does BMX give you something to do in your spare time, it also has some massive health benefits. Like any type of bike riding, BMX improves your cardiovascular fitness, which will improve your oxygen intake and reduce risks of heart disease.

It also improves strength by giving you a full-body workout from pedalling and doing tricks as well as burning an insane amount of calories (on average 500 calories burned every hour.) It builds confidence and gives the rider a sense of community but most importantly, it’s fun. You get the sense of being able to do whatever you please when riding and facing your fears just adds to the thrill of it.

I personally feel like no matter what age you are, you should get yourself a bike and go out to the local skatepark and just give it a go. By doing this, you’ll find out why it is more than just a hobby to some and more of a lifestyle.

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21/07/2017 23:13

Style

Style on the move Top row from left; Retro Ambassador Record Player, Zippo Hip Flask.

Middle row Zerreau Towel Off Shampoo, Papillon Vert Hamman Towel, RiutBag Crush Rucksack.

Bottom row, Merci Handy Hand Gel, Corkcicle Canteen Flask.

Travel - love it or hate it? Long journeys or short journeys? For work or pleasure? However you travel you’ll want to do it with ease and in style.

For the ultimate travel fashion Helly Hansen provides a range of ladies and men’s easy to wear ultra practical but super stylish clothing and footwear.

Their men’s Rask Hooded Jacket (£90) is lightweight and ideal for those cooler times when travelling, or try the Shore Jacket (£110) for waterproof material.

Easy to wear fashion can be done with their Naiad Skirt, (£40), this skirt can be adjusted and is pull

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on, with convenient pockets too.

Being on the move can be particularly hard on your feet so ensure you wear the right socks, try Bridgedale’s TrailBlaze cushioned socks, £16.49 from www.bridgedale.com Comfortable feet are must and Helly Hansen have the perfect solution with their Mens Rossnes Casual Shoes, £80, visit www. hellyhansen.com Travelling can mean being prepared for all different weathers so a reliable pair of sunglasses are vital when getting about, for guys go for Maui Jim’s Sand Island frames (£299). For

ladies the Sandy Beach frames (£159) are sporty but chic at the same time, both from www. mauijim.com One of the worst things when travelling is having to carry your essentials around, a strong but lightweight rucksack is a necessity.

The RuitBag Crush (£39) is the solution, all RiutBags have external zips against your back, to almost eliminate the risk of theft whilst you’re wearing the bag. The RiutBag is only 230 grams and made from tough ripstop nylon, can hold 10 litres, and can completely fold away into a

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Style

By fashion writer Gina Akers

Top row Helly Hansen Rossnes Mens Casual Shoes, Helly Hansen Mens Rask Hooded Jakcet, Helly Hansen Shore Jacket, Maui Jim Sand Island Sunglasses (top) and Maui Jim Sandy Beach Sunglasses.

little pouch, allowing you to add and take away space whenever you need, available from www. riut.co.uk A key to being comfortable when travelling is keeping clean but this isn’t always easy when on the move. Take Merci Handy hand gel (£2.90 from Topshop and Selfridges), with you to help keep bacteria away, and try water free washing with Zerreau Towel Off Shampoo (£7.95) from Superdrug. Wash Wizard Sponges are a complete body wash sponge by just adding a dash of water, no need for rinsing, £7.99 for 5 sponges from

www.amazon.co.uk Odaban Spray will help keep you fresh travelling, one application can last for up to seven days making it one of the most impressive solutions on the market for excessive sweat, £10.49 from Boots and leading pharmacies.

Towels can take up a lot of space and be annoyingly bulky so a Hamman Towel is the answer, thin but highly absorbent, try Papillon Vert’s Premium Hamman Towel (£20) from www.lepapillonvert.co.uk Stay hydrated with the Corkcicle Canteen Flask, £29.99 from www.firebox.com or if you are

thinking something a little stronger try Zippo’s Hip Flask (what you put in it is up to you!), £16.75 at www.zippo.co.uk If you are camping or glamping the GPO Retro Ambassador Portable Record Player with Bluetooth connectivity and a rechargeable battery is a real treat. The Ambassador record player lets you record all your Vinyl to a USB stick, and play your Vinyl wherever you go, a wonderful way to relax and unwind once your travelling is over and you’ve reached your destination visit www.gporetro. com

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21/07/2017 23:13

Tech

Can we live tech free?

Anna Clulow, seventeen, questions if we can live without technology and the benefits it can have.

As technology is now mainstream and more advanced than ever, we are rapidly becoming addicted. Yet, as we become more socially connected with the rest of the world, we become more disconnected. The internet has brought around a new set of avoidance techniques and break up methods; that we’d sooner do without.

The twenty first century has seen the development of personal technology, the most commonly used being the smartphone, a constant companion to most that will allow you to track your movements, access the internet and become engrossed in the world of media and social networking. The vast majority of people are glued to technology, whether they are looking at their own or even sharing someone else’s device. There is however, an argument that the overuse of technology is effecting our physical and in many cases our mental health, due to this people need to start becoming less dependent on their devices. There is no clear consensus to whether we can live without technology but the benefits of taking time away from it are huge.

For many the idea of taking time away from technology is easy, after all humanity has survived and even thrived for thousands of years without modern day technology.

Beginning to reject this complex world can cause what is labelled as ‘FOMO’ (Fear Of Missing Out), not subconsciously scrolling through Twitter but living in the

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present. The benefits of spending quality time with friends and family, walking, cooking and reading leave you mentally refreshed. Spending less time looking through your social media or emails can be difficult- but benefits such as reduced stress and a clearer mind set seem to outweigh the negatives. Actual life may be duller and more prone to conflict, than a virtual life. But the advantage of spending time with friends and family is that: its real.

Nomophobia ‘no-mobilephobia’ is the fear of being without or losing, your mobile phone. The scare when your phone is not in your pocket. This is Nomophobia. We are so reliant on our mobile phones that we panic when they are not with us It doesn’t take an expert to confirm we are spending additional time on the internet, an abundant source of information that I often find myself mindlessly scrolling through. It is a system that allows people to communicate worldwide. Helping us to meet new people, connect

with family and even watch crazy cat videos.

The truth is technology needs to be embraced, we have a lot to thank it for. It is the future and although it may forever be changing, everyone can at least count on the fact that it is continually becoming greater, faster and more convenient.

Technology is a societal advancement that has allowed our generation to do things previous generations would never have dreamed of. We look back and question why someone would carry a ‘brick phone’ in their handbags, but what about 20 years from now?

Most importantly it makes you realise how much you rely on technology, the amount of time you are absorbed into the internet but, when it is taken away you have more free time that you thought you did. Just once a week, spending some time tech free can make a big difference to your daily life and you become fully aware that maybe you can or cannot live without technology.

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August 5th - The Sour Taste + supports August 11th - JC Carol (The Members) + supports August 18th - The Deadnotes (Germany) + Death by Shotgun August 25th - 27th - Winnie Gate First anniversary Music, cider and ale fest with bands galore

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21/07/2017 23:13

Screenzone: TV

A treat for the senses

Screen Grab A TV column by Lizzie Tylee As a film and series enthusiast, I’m always looking for new shows and movies to watch and engage with. A show that I became instantly hooked on was the Netflix original series, Sense 8. I immediately fell in love with the cast and their relationships with each other and others. As Swindon Pride is upon us, I thought the show itself is quite relevant as it touches on equality and strongly represents the LGBT community.

Sense 8 is about 8 strangers who are all part of different cultures, all from different countries. After a tragic death, they discover that they are all somehow emotionally and physically linked. Whilst trying to figure out what this connection means, they must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world’s order.

Each episode reflects the views of the characters while delving deeper into their backgrounds and what sets them apart and brings them together with the others.

Despite IMDB 8.4/10 review, the Netflix original got barely any recognition and next to no promotion, in comparison to recent shows shows such as ’13 reasons why’ or ‘Riverdale’. Sense 8 could possibly be one of Netflix’s most LGBT friendly series, yet no one seems to have heard about it.

Sense 8 approaches several different sexualities- the main characters being not only heterosexual, but also gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. It also handles other serious subjects such as racial differences, feminism and deficiency of capitalism.

Although the series isn’t based upon recognition for LGBT, it highlights throughout the series some of the characters’ inner conflict with who they are. For example, the series constantly refers to lead character transgender Nomi’s (played by Jamie Clayton) family’s

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trauma to accepting who she is rather than who she was.

Cindy Holland, VP of Netflix original content, said “It is everything we and the fans dreamed it would be: bold, emotional, stunning, kick ass, and outright unforgettable.

Never has there been a more truly global show with an equally diverse and international cast and crew, which is only mirrored by the connected community of deeply passionate fans all around the world.”

When I discovered the show, it wasn’t because of its cultural diversity, but because of its intense, psychological story line. Wachovskis and Staczynski managed to capture the human element that the Matrix lacked throughout the Sci-fi drama series.

I was completely and utterly hooked, so as soon as I found out a season 2 was on its way, a countdown began immediately!

Recently, Netflix had decided to cancel the show and not to re-new a third season, alongside ‘The Get Down’.

I was of course gutted, along with other infuriated fans, particularly because leading shows such as ’13 reasons why’ are to be renewed for another season, despite the book it was based upon not having a further lead.

Obviously outraged, fans were demanding answers.

Chief Content Officer Ted Sarandos later stated that to continue the show(s) was too expensive- “When I say that, a big expensive show for a huge audience is great.

A big, expensive show for a tiny audience is hard even in our model to make that work very long.”

As fans were still not impressed by this response, a petition grew and due to popular demand, the producers eventually agreed to an annual Sense 8 Christmas special.

Sense 8 can be found on Netflix.

Swindon Pride was held in Old Town on July 29 and Reading Pride will be held on September 2.

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Screenzone: Gaming

Old is the new.. new

by Ben Fitzgerald You know you’re getting on a bit when things you remember from your sun dappled childhood are considered hip - a bit like the word hip in fact.

When I was creating mix tapes on C60s from my bedroom to impress girls… I was deeply aware that there was something quite tragic about my carefully curated audio journeys through prog music of the early 70s.

But then.. You turn your back and, as if King Midas has gone on a rampant touching spree, suddenly everything has turned from crap to gold. Tapes are uber cool, meandering drum solos are totally back in and everyone’s playing Space Invaders.

Games giants Atari are riding this wave of nostalgia - having recently released their Flashback 7 console - preloaded with 101 blocky games for you to enjoy.. all the way from 40 years ago.

It’s even got a strip of fake wood veneer on the console classy or what?

But how can this happen? Surely it’s one of the golden rules of technology that things must move forward - it’s almost built into the meaning of the word.

Why would anyone want to play Space Invaders or Centipede when they could immerse themselves in the near-cine realistic

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world of Grand Theft Auto?

Perhaps we have reached peak game and started to go backwards?

Or maybe the answer is that we have become so enamoured by graphics that we have lost the idea of what an actual game is somewhere along the way.

When you think about football, for instance (the real one, not FIFA18) it’s not trying to pretend to be something else, it’s simply a game featuring a ball that you have to do a thing with - make a goal with your leg or something..

And it’s the same with blocky video games - the objectives are clear... you know how to win.

But Grand Theft Auto V is so.. damn real that you can get caught up anxiously trying to make money and worrying what other people will think about your new double garage.. that’s not a game, that’s a virtual suburbia simulator.

The essence of a good game has got to be simplicity - kill a

thing, bat a ball, steer around a track - get this right and you’ve got a game.

If you ever happen to travel to Ashford in Kent, knock on the door of 44 Albert Road and tell the person who answers that Ben sent you. Ask politely to be shown into their cellar. Now look carefully at the steel beam you have just banged your head on - and there carefully painted in white gloss by my late dad Mike are our Space Invaders high scores - the legacy of a hard fought points rivalry during the early 80s. You wouldn’t get that with Horizon: Zero Dawn.

And this is why, deep down, everyone knows that Space Invaders is the only game worth playing.

That is all.

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Screenzone: Film

To The Dark Tower Roland comes Are You Talkin’ To Me? A Film column by Jamie Hill “Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came” Robert Browning (1812–89) Thus, I had so long suffer’d, in this quest, Heard failure prophesied so oft, been writ So many times among “The Band”— to wit, The knights who to the Dark Tower’s search address’d Their steps—that just to fail as they, seem’d best.

And all the doubt was now—should I be fit?

The above is a segment of Robert Browning’s epic poem ‘Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Come’ which formed the basis of Stephen King’s magnum opus The Dark Tower - a

story that was split over eight books.

If this all sounds a bit weighty don’t worry as the books are cracking following a ‘gunslinger’ on a quest across a dying world to kill the Man in Black before he reaches The Dark Tower.

It’s one of those fantasy sets that is at once awe-inspiring and simplistic, at the same time weaving a rich tapestry of language, themes and mythology, stepping seamlessly from fantasy to our very real world without missing a beat and told in the way that only Stephen King can.

And so we come to the long gestating film which is finally out this month starring Idris Elba as Roland Deschain The Gunslinger and the always amazing, if you don’t count his rom-com phase, Matthew Mcconnaughy.

This is a film that has gone through various actors, directors and writers over the years with Javier Bardem once attached to play Roland at one

stage.

And looking at the early trailers it looks like they have captured the soul of what is at the heart of King’s works as Elba embodies the gunslinging knight in just the few scenes we’ve seen already.

And Mcconnaughy’s casting is inspired as Flagg, The Man in Black - the main evildoer who is obsessed with the tower and the destruction of all we know.

It’s directed by Nikolaj Arcel and is set half in Mid-world, the fantasy world of King’s imagination and our world. There’s been several rumours about where it fits in to the books, whether it’s after, before or a direct adaptation but the plans currently in place will see this followed by a television series exploring the books even further. I expect they’re waiting to see how the film is received before they definitely confirm this.

The Dark Tower is released on August 18.

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Brews and Eats

We need to talk about cork...

by Darren Willmott

To cork or not to cork? - that is the question.

The bottle closure may seem an indiscriminate means to an end, merely a way of keeping bits from falling into the bottle or stopping the air turning the wine to vinegar, but the last 20 years have seen screw caps gaining in popularity as a simple and reliable seal. Cork has been dethroned as the de facto king of wine closures.

In its heyday the cork seal was a revolution to the wine industry, replacing the humble oil soaked rag. Along with advances in glass production giving sturdier bottles available in mass volume, it was the birth of wine as we know it today, now able to survive longer than a few months at a time.

In the mid-1970s both trade and customers started to complain that more and more wines were developing damp and musky characteristics. Full diagnosis was a long way off but cork got the blame, giving rise to the condition known as ‘corked’ wine.

Sometimes mistakenly interpreted as bits of cork splitting into the bottle during the opening process, ‘corked’ wine actually refers to spoiling chemical compounds that survive the boiling

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process required to make a cork ready for use. For the first time in several hundred years it was time to look for an alternative.

So, why persevere with cork?

Cork branding was originally used when a wine was chateau bottled; a quality seal that what you were drinking had not been watered down or adulterated in any way. The popping of a cork is the soundtrack of a celebration, but with screw cap there is no such majesty - you simply twist and go.

Part of the problem is that cork has been a key closure for centuries, and no one loves wine history and tradition more than the French who have been extremely resistant towards alternative closures. For many, France is wine and wine is France, so if they’re not budging then neither are they.

Others in support of cork are the Portuguese where there is a whole industry surrounding its production. Requiring the warm-but-wet growing conditions perfectly provided by the Atlantic they have 34% of the world’s cork forest and produce over 50% of the world’s cork needs.

The screw cap was pioneered and remains extremely popular in Australia and New Zealand where

80% and 95% (respectively) of their wines utilise the closure. Their clean and fruity wines were among the first to expose the issue of cork taint and, free from the ties of tradition, were at the forefront of finding an alternative.

In its favour, screw cap production is a lot easier than the labour intensive bark stripping of the Quercus suber tree and costs half as much to make. The sterile seal also has no chance of bringing in any foreign compounds.

First used for wine in the early 1960s, the ‘unknown’ prevented a wholesale shift to screw cap, specifically the notion that wine could age as gracefully as it could under cork. Subsequent trials have shown no discernible differences and screw cap can in fact keep a wine fresher in youth.

As such it remains a stalwart of cheaper wines or those meant to be drunk in the next few years. It’s extremely rare that anyone would choose to buy or drink a wine due to the way it was sealed, but for me the one big benefit of screw cap is that when you are out and about without a corkscrew, you can still get at the good stuff. Cheers! l Follow Darren on https:// vinesight.me/tag/wine-blogging

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21/07/2017 23:13

Brews and Eats

Getting fresh with beer!

The Brewery Bird column

When it comes to food, as a nation we’re seemingly obsessed with dates. And I’m not talking Medjool or Honey.

Best Before and Use By are daily mantras; the first focussing on quality, the other a more serious indicator of safety.

But when it comes to beer, in particular bottles and cans where labelling is so diverse, sometimes it can be more than a little confusing if like me, you prefer to purchase beer not readily found in large supermarkets.

Beers from a startling number of countries are now readily available in bottle or can (if you know where to look), and offer countless options in terms of strength, style and inventiveness, as well as unique and often exquisite labelling or artwork which draw the drinker in.

However, this diversity can sometimes bring its own issues, particularly on non-UK products when attempting to decode the product information on the label.

To help ensure a consistent experience for all consumers, some breweries use date codes; but because there are no standards or requirements for indicating beer age, each brewery employs its own method for dating its beers. (Regrettably, some foreign breweries don’t offer any date stamps whatsoever, leaving you completely in the dark about the freshness of their products).

But is this really an issue you ask?

Basically, beer is liquid bread, and bottle / can conditioned beer is that artisan loaf that is meant to be eaten right away. With beers going unfiltered, unpasteurized,

and still stored more often than not in bottles instead of cans, their shelf life is limited. The longer they stay on the shelf, the less they are like the beer that was originally brewed. For stronger beers, this can often be a good thing, with flavours maturing and mellowing, but for most, oxidation, being light struck, poor storage, and more can turn that beer into a less than pleasurable experience.

On cans, most dates are printed on the bottom; on bottles check the neck, bottle top or label. But sometimes, deciphering the age of a beer can prove more difficult than locating it! The most common types of dates are packaging dates (bottled on) and shelf-life dates (best before). However; ‘enjoy by’, ‘consume by’ or ‘sell by’ are also often used. For most beers, the optimum date is 60–120 days after packaging but this can vary based on the style.

US production date codes are a whole different animal and use a Julian date which has the following format: For example, the code may be 9340554B14 Which actually means: Position 1 = year (9 = 2009) Position 2, 3 and 4 = day of the year (340 = 340th day) Position 5, 6 and 7 = country code (554 = NZ) Position 8 = filling line (B = filling line B) Position 9, 10 = hour (14 = 2pm) For more info freshbeeronly. com is a handy decoder for US Breweries’ production code dates, or if in doubt contact the brewery direct.

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Brews and Eats

We’re on a Moroccan roll!

North African spiced beef and root vegetable stew Ras el hanout is a complex North African spice mix. If you can’t get hold of it, mix a large pinch each of cumin, coriander, cinnamon, ginger, turmeric, cardamom, chilli or cayenne and black pepper. Cinnamon sticks can vary in strength, so taste at intervals and remove when the flavour reaches your liking.

Serve this stew with couscous or bread to soak up the juices.

3 tbsp olive, sunflower or vegetable oil 450g beef braising steak, cut into 4 similar-sized pieces 1 large onion, sliced 2 garlic cloves, crushed or finely chopped 2cm piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated (or add 1 rounded tsp dried ginger to the

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ras el hanout) 1 rounded tbsp ras el hanout (or see above for alternative) 800g mixed root veg (e.g. parsnips, carrots, celeriac and swede), peeled and chopped into large chunks 1 large glass of red wine 400ml beef stock 1 cinnamon stick 1 x 400g can chickpeas, 100g pitted prunes handful of chopped parsley and/or coriander seeds from 1 pomegranate (optional) salt and black pepper

Heat a tablespoon of the oil in a heavy-based pot or casserole and fry the beef over a medium–high heat, turning it over so it browns on both sides.

Remove to a plate.

Add the remaining oil to the pot, turn the heat right down and add the onion. Fry gently, stirring often, for 10 minutes to soften without colouring. Add the garlic, ginger and ras el hanout and cook, stirring, for a couple more minutes. Return the beef and add the vegetables and wine (if using). Bring to a simmer and bubble for a couple of minutes.

Then add the stock and cinnamon stick, cover and simmer gently for an hour. Stir in the chickpeas and prunes, re-cover the pot and simmer for a further 15 minutes, until the meat is totally tender. Sprinkle over the herbs and pomegranate seeds if using. www.riverford.co.uk/recipes

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Brews and Eats

History of...

Marmalade

By Ben Fitzgerald Imagine for a brief moment that you’ve been cruelly abandoned to the winds of fate - having been thrown on a train from South America...

You’re standing alone on a platform of Paddington Station, swathed in smoke from steam trains, (because it’s 1958) your eyes prickling from emotion bravely blinking back the tears of fear and confusion.

Oh I forgot to say, inexplicably, you are also a bear - and as if this is not bad enough, you are wearing ill-fitting Wellington boots, a duffle coat and a stupid ass wide-brimmed red hat pinned back at the front. This is a prehipster era don’t forget, in fact it’s also pre-hippy. The red hat alone would have you earmarked as some kind of Communist cross dresser - you are in a hopeless world of trouble my furry friend...

But then… just when you are considering chucking yourself in front of the Flying Scotsman, your sensitive bear nose catches a scent.. and then you remember… you’ve got a bloody marmalade sandwich under that hat - and as you sink your teeth into that zesty gloop you realise that life

is suddenly full of hope and possibilities.

Imagine if instead of marmalade, the sandwich was Nutella, honey or jam. Doesn’t work does it?

That’s because marmalade, like life, is a bitter-sweet brew - there’s a resonance in its complex flavour that shitty upstart Nutella can’t hope to touch.

Michael Bond’s Paddington springs from the very real trauma of a generation of children’s experience of abandonment as evacuees during the Second World War. It’s like the worst kind of anxiety dream - but buried deep in that fable is the citrus tang of salvation.

Some people claim that marmalade was invented in the 1700s when a storm damaged ship carrying a cargo of Seville oranges pitched up in Dundee harbour. Enterprising skinflint James Keiller said he would take the whole load for a fiver - promptly turned it into a preserve and flogged it off for a fortune.

Other people claim that Mary Queen of Scots ate it when she had a headache and that her maids would wander around whispering Marie est malade (Mary is ill) which sounds a bit like

marmalade if you say it rapidly over and over again… with a mouthful of toast.

This story is clearly utter claptrap. First of all, how could Mary Queen of Scots ask for marmalade to cure her headache before it even had a name?

Secondly, why would maids wander around repeatedly whispering the blindingly obvious to each other in French? And thirdly, if naming breakfast spreads after things people whisper to each other about their ill housemates, then rasberry jam would almost certainly be called ‘hechukdup’.

The truth, like most decent things, is that the Romans invented it. When they weren’t watching gladiatorial contests, they liked nothing better than to snack on a gooey preserve made from quinces preserved in honey known as marmelo.

The first shipments of a Portuguese version, made from quinces, came to London in the late 15th Century.

But it was down to the Brits to chuck out the quinces and use oranges… and we’ve been keeping it under our hats ever since.

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Arts and Culture list Tuesday August 1 to Thursday August 3 THEATRE: Punk Rock 7.30pm Wyvern Theatre, Swindon WORKSHOP: An Animated Experience with Matthew Dean 10am to 4pm - Salisbury Arts Centre Tuesday August 1 WORKSHOP: Just So Craft Leopards 10am to 12pm - Corn Exchange, Newbury WORKSHOP: Make it! Clock Making holiday session 10am to 3pm - Trowbridge Town Hall, Trowbridge Wednesday August 2 WORKSHOP: Just So Craft Butterflies 10am to 12pm - Corn Exchange, Newbury FAMILY EVENTS: The Little Pony Party 11am to 1.30pm Wyvern Theatre, Swindon Thursday August 3 WORKSHOP: Just So Craft Elephants 10am to 12pm - Corn Exchange, Newbury Friday August 4 PHOTOGRAPHY: Trowbridge in Bloom Photography Competition 10am to 2pm - Trowbridge Town Hall, Trowbridge Saturday August 5 FAMILY EVENTS: Play the World Summer Special: Sock Goblins 12pm - Pegasus Theatre, Oxford FILM: Big Scream Matinee: Hidden Figures 2:30pm - 4:30pm - Salisbury Arts Centre

Saturday August 5 to Sunday August 6 FOOD AND DRINK : Cheese and Chilli Festival 10am to 10pm Lydiard Park, Swindon Monday August 7 to Tuesday August 8 THEATRE WORKSHOP : Play in a Week: Fie Fie Fo Fun! 9.30am to 4.30pm - Oxford Playhouse Wednesday August 9 FAMILY EVENTS: The Little Builders Party 11am to 2pm Wyvern Theatre, Swindon THEATRICAL SCREENING: RSC Live: Titus Andronicus 7pm Corn Exchange, Newbury Thurs August 10 to Sat August 12 THEATRE : The Runner 7.30pm - Oxford Playhouse Thursday August 10 THEATRE: Summer Stage Performance 6.45pm - Salisbury Arts Centre Friday August 11 THEATRE: Summer Stage Performance 5.45pm - Salisbury Arts Centre Sat August 12 to Sun August 13 FAMILY EVENTS : Beauty and The Beast 2.30pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot Saturday August 12 THEATRE: Crossing Lines 9.30pm - Corn Exchange, Newbury Tues August 15 to Sat August 19 MUSICAL : Bring on the Bollywood 7.30pm - Oxford Playhouse, Oxford Tuesday August 15 THEATRE: Shackleton

Various perfomrances 11am to 3.30pm Salisbury Arts Centre Wednesday August 16 CULTURE: African Arts Day with Alex Miles (who is brilliant!)

10am to 3pm - Salisbury Arts Centre Thurs August 17 to Sat August 19 THEATRE: A Sublime Feeling 7pm - Salisbury Playhouse Thursday August 17 THEATRE: Denial 6.45pm - Salisbury Arts Centre Friday August 18 FILM: A Monster Calls 6.45pm - Salisbury Arts Centre Tuesday August 22 to Sat August 26 FAMILY EVENTS : The Gruffalo Times Vary - Oxford Playhouse Weds August 23 to Sat August 26 THEATRE: Sweeney Todd Times Vary - Arts at the Old Fire Station Sun August 27 to Mon August 28 FESTIVAL: Devizes International Street Festival Multiple Venues - Devizes, Wiltshire Friday August 18 POETRY: Neil Hilborn - Live Poetry 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Thursday August 31 THEATRICAL SCREENING: NT Live: Yerma 5.45pm - Salisbury Arts Centre MUSICAL: The Carpenters Story 7.30pm - Swindon Arts Centre

Kanye West is coming to Oxford A new play about Kanye West is coming to North Wall Arts Centre this September.

Now you might think that a little strange and you’d be right but from September 20 to 22 Kanye The First is being performed at North Wall Arts Centre.

Tickets are £14 and can be picked up on the North Wall website; www.thenorthwall.com Sam Steiner’s extraordinary new play is presented by HighTide and Paul Jellis in association with The Marlowe’s Roar Programme.

It is a comic drama that charts the second coming of rapper Kanye West and examines, identity, guilt, contemporary culture and, of course, Kanye West.

“Know what? If you’re a Kanye West fan, you’re not a fan of me – you’re a fan of yourself.”

Annie’s not really a fan of herself. How did she get a life like this? While her perfect sister poses in hipster hats, she must take care of her sick mother and she keeps mistaking

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hot men for her dad.

There must be more than this. The celebrities that fill her social media feeds are only separated by a screen, but that’s as close as she’ll ever get to someone like Kanye West. People think he’s a god.

But what if everyone thought she was someone else?

Someone different, someone better?

Age guidance: 14+

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Get ready for Devizes Festival Fortnight!

Taking place from Sunday August 20 - Saturday 2 September, the two-week celebration is an array of fantastic outdoor events.

Kicking things off at Hillworth Park on Sunday 20 August, the Picnic In The Park will be a chance to relax outside with great music, chilled out family entertainment and copious refreshments.

There will also be a chance to take part in a workshop designed to get you in the mood for the Carnival.

Dee Moxon will be returning after the success of Paisley the Cow and the Carnival Development workshops held earlier in the year to help people make a Peacock headdress out of a collage of canvas, print and sequins. And Rachel Merritt will also be decorating the famous DOCA elephant head - come along and give her a hand!

The Devizes International Street Festival on 27-28 August

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Get set

welcomes some of the best street performers, contemporary circus acts, dancers, musicians and walkabout shows from Europe and the UK. There will also be a Festival Market, where visitors can find an array of delicious food and drinks, licensed bars, and crafts available from festival stalls.

The Confetti Battle takes place on Wednesday 30 August.

This traditional event dates back to 1955 when it was started

by Jim Jennings.

Expect to get ‘attacked’ by complete strangers throwing

paper! As the confetti runs out and dusk falls, a firework display rounds off the evening. There’s also a Jennings fairground in the Market Place.

Also on Wednesday 30 August, volunteers can take part in the Annual Colour Run. Come along and get pelted with paint. Runners start at the Green Lane NHS Treatment Centre, through Drew’s Pond and Hillworth Park, finally finishing at the Market Place for the big Confetti Battle!

All entrants are asked for a £15 donation which will help DOCA continue producing highquality and fun events such as the Street Festival, the Carnival, and hopefully, bring the Colour rush back in 2018. As part of this donation all runners will get a souvenir T-shirt to run in and a bottle of water awaiting you at the finish.

At the end of the fortnight, Devizes comes alive with a carnival. Leaving The Green at 6pm, the Devizes carnival procession features vibrant

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for Devizes date! walking groups and thousands of people lining the streets. This year the Carnival will be joined by the Rajasthan Heritage Brass Band and the Wessex Military Band.

Carnival is the culmination of masses of hard work on the part of the participants. This year, it will take on the theme of India to celebrate 70 years of independence.

DOCA works with people in Devizes and across Wiltshire to present professional outdoor arts experiences in the streets, towns, villages and landscapes of the county.

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Pride

Pride comes alive Pride is coming to Reading on 2 September at Kings Meadow.

Kicking the day off with the Parade, which brings the spirit of Pride to the centre of Reading with a spectacle of noise and colour that cannot be missed.

The parade provides an opportunity for groups, organisations and individuals to show their support for Pride and the on-going campaign for equality.

The Main Stage offers a nonstop line-up of live entertainment throughout the day with a host of performers offering something for everyone.

There will be a number of performers from the local / LGBT+ community as well as some of the best cabarets around, including many established Pride favourites, all building to some top-name live acts to round off the day in style.

Headlining is Uniting Nations with their 2004 massive hit ‘Out of Touch’. They spent an unprecedented 16 weeks in the

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UK top 20 including seven weeks in the top 10 and resulted in tree appearances on the Top Of The Pops.

Last month’s Swindon Pride was a hit with the10th year anniversary celebrations. Held in Town Gardens where nationwide stars took breath away on the Bowl Stage. With stars such as 2013 X Factor winner Sam Bailey headlining with hits from her number 1 album and a stunning show, she continued to wow the

audience. Many other acts followed, including hearts, such as Fizz, Misty Lee and Norwood.

Again for a second year in a row, Ride for Pride returned. This 40-mile bike ride around Swindon helped raise huge amounts for charities across Swindon.

Wiltshire Police Federation and Unison Wiltshire Police & Justice sponsored this years Pride event with the theme of ‘Celebrating Freedom’.

Swindon and Wiltshire Pride Chair Jo Sharpe said: “This is fantastic news for without the backing of support of organisations Pride wouldn’t happen. Wiltshire Police has always been extremely supportive of the event and we have worked closely with them to ensure our event is safe for everyone to attend”

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The Ocelot Presents

Jack Moore As one of the brightest talents on the Wiltshire music scene (and also one of the most hyper-active) Jack Moore has become the archetypal folk-punk troubadour, despite still only being 20 years old! We had a chat with the young lad from “Dirty Old Calne” (as he calls it) to see what’s what.

So you’ve been playing instruments since you were in nappies... what’s your best musical memory so far?

I’ll have you know I wasn’t wearing nappies when I was nine.. I’ve been playing live shows for a few years now, playing different instruments in different bands and so on, so I’ve experienced a hell of a wide range of musical things. I’d say some of the best things I’ve been involved in include recording and releasing my first solo album, constantly meeting amazing people at shows and playing some incredible venues like the abbey in Malmesbury and The Fleece in Bristol among a load of other places.

Inside the Machine is your latest release; what was the production process like?

I’m really happy to FINALLY have that album see the light of day because the production process was relatively long and drawn-out. My friend Guy Britton produced it and the studio we recorded at had limited opening hours, so it took a while but it’s out in the wild now. We did a lot of experimenting with different guitar parts and sounds and I’m pretty proud of what’s emerged from those sessions. It is quite strange putting out now though, as all of those songs are years old and I’ve probably written

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enough music to constitute another three albums by now!

Generic interview question #3; Where do you see yourself (musically) in three years?

A lot can happen in three years.. Well I have a number of different projects going on with different people. My main focus will be to write songs for and put together some kind of groovy non-Rock Rock band which I’ll be fronting. I’ve got a hell of a lot of ideas for this and a unique style is forming within the tracks I’m writing. I also want to look into getting some cruise ship work in regards to my solo/acoustic endeavours and hopefully put together a couple of tours of sorts in the next year or so. The idea is to give myself as little time to think as possible!

What’s your favourite salad vegetable?

I can’t say I really entertain rabbit food all that often but slap some lettuce on my chicken burger and I’m sorted.

How many shoes do you own?

I’m not keeping count of my collection but anyone’s welcome to swing by and count them.

What big shows have you got coming up in the next couple of months?

We’re into festival season now and I’ve got a bunch of beer festival appearances here and there. Going down to play in Winchester for the first time at the end of July and a place near Portsmouth at the beginning of August, so I’m definitely gonna be out and about a lot. You can find all the details on my social media pages. facebook.com/jsmooremusic/ soundcloud.com/jack-moore-music jmooremusic.bandcamp.com/releases

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Gig Monkey

Gig Monkey, AKA Ed Dyer, takes a rummage through the best music released by local artists. If you like the sound of something please check it out Send your reviews to ed@secretchordrecords.com The Great Western Tears – Tales from Tallows (LP) Ok, I confess, I missed this Americana treasure when it initially came out, but I am making up for lost time by wearing it out now as it is quite simply fabulous, and as genuine sounding as you could hope for. Country music is often at is best when laced with sorrow and regret, and Great Western Tears excel at this with some hauntingly stark lyrical imagery adding plenty of heartache, longing and loss to the cleverly understated and restrained and wonderfully played music.

Expressive country guitar lines pick their way around mournful violin and shuffled drums, pitched to perfection, never once overblown or underdone and the slide guitar wails just makes hairs stand up in places you hadn’t realised they could. The vocals however, are on another level.

Dava Waterhouse has the sort of voice that belongs in another age: deep, gravelly and warm, it is one of the most expressive instruments I have had the pleasure of hearing.

Then, as you are settling in to this rumbling, mournful singing you realise that the sweetness and light backing vocals of Fern Thornton are where the magic is fully realised, complimenting, contrasting and tidying up the loose edges – just wonder at the breath-taking interplay between the two on closing

A rare slice of Americana - Great Western Tears

track Blue Checks, White Cotton.

This album is a bronco of a ride around some pretty dark and lonely points, but still manages to shine and is one of the finest things I have heard for some time. Once again Oxford submits another contender for record of the year.

The Shapes – The Long Way Home (EP) Oxford veterans The Shapes are a band best appreciated live, their amiable performances comforting and warm, something which still figures in recorded form, just in a more diluted way.

Stylistically this EP dives around genres like a band with their breadth experience are entitled and likely to.

Country, pop, folk and rhythm and blues all get a look in as things swerve wildly around: however, rather than confuse things it just adds to the charm of the record as a whole.

GETRZ – GETRZ (EP) This is the debut EP from one of the latest Swindon indie bands off the currently hyper-

productive production line, and one of the more interesting prospects, unfathomable and clunky name apart. Cited as having influences that range from your more standard indie fare to grime I was expecting something different from this record, which will teach me to make assumptions, as it turned out to be a solid but mostly formulaic guitar pop effort, loaded with memorable hooks and melodies but without that individuality I had hoped for.

It is still a little pearler of a debut that suggests that this young band have got the potential to make a real splash. ‘Caller ID’ is a bit limp and confused for an opening track but is probably the reason the talk of grime influences has happened. But, choppy vocal melodies do not Grime make. However, once the band move into more straightforward territory it all explodes to life.

The impression then, is one of potential, this is a band with a long way to go, but with the possibility of becoming a very special outfit indeed. www.theocelot.co.uk

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O2 Academy Oxford

O2 line-up sparkles

Worth harping on about - Floralyn George brings When Light Feels Asleep to the O2 Back after the festival season, O2 Academy has a great September line-up!

Kicking off on Friday 1st is 21-year-old singer-songwriter and harpist, Floralyn George as she brings ‘When Light Feels Asleep’ to O2 Academy Oxford to raise funds for various charities, including British Heart Foundation, Macmillan Cancer Support and Blue Cross.

The Bedford-based alt-rockers, The Wholls with a growing reputation for edgy and energetic live performances are following on Saturday September 2, in support of their self-titled album.

Coming next, on Sunday September 10 and best known for iconic hits such as ‘Love My Way’, ‘Heaven’ and ‘Pretty in Pink’, the veteran post-punk band

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The Psychedelic Furs are touring in the UK for the first time in five years! One not to miss for sure.

Supported by Lene Lovich Band.

Join Roddy Woomble on September 8, after recently commemorating the 10th anniversary of his debut album, ‘My Secret is Silence’, for a handful of headline shows in anticipation of his brand new solo album. As well as being a songwriter, Roddy Woomble is also the frontman for Scottish indie giants; Idlewild!

On Thursday 21, pop punk heavyweights New Found Glory will take the stage for their 20th anniversary.

Not only will they be performing their album ‘Sticks & Stones’ and ‘Self Titled’, but they’ll also be touring tracks off their

forthcoming album, ‘Makes Me Sick’. Then following on Friday 22nd, BBC Introducing presents; Uprising. Supported by ZAIA, Laura Theis, Catgod, Wandering Wires, ZAIA Aftershow (DJ set).

Directly after, on the 23 September is Elvana: Elvis Fronted Nirvana. Rock ‘n’ roll meets grunge this year as Nirvana is once again a holy trinity. Should be bloody good.

And who better to front the band, but the king of rock ‘n’ roll himself, Elvis. See Elvana as they pay homage to Nirvana by unleashing a torrent of grunge tracks while adding some of the king’s finest moments into the mix.

Finishing off an amazing month of music, is DJ Q with their All Night Long set on Saturday 30 September.

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Pewsey Music Festival

Pewsey tunes up

The ever exciting Pewsey Music Festival is back again on Saturday 5 August.

This year’s Main Stage acts will bring a mixture of everything to the table, so watch out for loads of diverse performers.

Pewsey Bells, the village’s own ladies choir, and Pewsey Male Voice Choir will be performing side by side to launch the festival.

The show kicks off with the incredible Imprints, who are a folk, shanty, rock band based in Bristol.

Their unique high-octave spin on the genre with blow any audience away, ensuring you’re left with a memorable foot-stomping experience.

Next on the list is Bite the Buffalo, who are just as genius as their name.

The Bath-based garage rock

and rollerblades band played Pewsey back in 2011, when only two members were part of the group.

After an exceptional performance at The Concert At The King’s this year, Pewsey Festival invited the band, now a four-piece, to come back for another groundbreaking show.

Up next is Lucy Leave. The fuzzy psychedelic jazz-grunge outfit from Oxford, who have been described as a “strange, brilliant, oddly shaped musical force” by Nightshift Magazine. Don’t miss out on this growing Oxford favourite.

Following after is Barney Goodall, an adventurous singersongwriter with roots from Liverpool and the Devizes area, with funky bass grooves, soaring melodies and mellow synth-based

dance you won’t be able to stop moving.

The Little Baroque Company are fast proving an innovative, creative force in the classical world and beyond.

Formed in 2005 at the Royal Academy of music they are a regular fixture at the London Handel Festival and have performed for both BBC Television and Radio. This classy act will take your breath away with their catchy tunes as the final act for the Main stage.

The Magic Roundabout Stage will be home to a range of amazing performers and a Creative Music Workshop will be held in the afternoon, as well as a drum workshop, so don’t forget to book your tickets for a once in a lifetime experience.

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Music News

Reading Festival August 25-27

Reading Festival is going to be off the chain this year.

Headlining on Friday 25 August is Kasabian, meeting claims of the death of British guitar music with hugely successful albums and massive sell-out gigs at the O2 Arena and countless festival headlining.

Now they’re busy readying a new album for 2017.

Also hitting the main stage is

Bastille, now six years since South Londoner, Dan, started Bastille alone in his bedroom, releasing 300 copies of their debut single. Six years on and the band’s chart-conquering debut album ‘Bad Blood’ has sold over four million copies alongside eleven million singles.

On the Sunday the festival hosts rock royalty, Muse. Their return to Reading promises to be yet another

landmark moment in their career.

As well as Muse, Liam Gallagher will be performing on the main stage.

Now one of the most recognisable figures in British music, his show will be an attitude filled performance, fuelled with Oasis classics and tracks from his debut solo record.

To get your hands-on tickets visit the Reading Festival Website www. readingfestival.com

Tuck into a feast of sun dappled music on the farm The summer’s top music, food and family festival, The Big Feastival, is back on Alex James’ Farm with a jam-packed festival line-up for the August Bank Holiday weekend!

Incredible additions to the music offering include “Waiting All Night” superstar Ella Eyre, electronica legends Faithless (DJ Set), West Yorkshire rockers Embrace, jungle legend Congo Natty and longstanding ska favourites The

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Skatalites. If that wasn’t enough Gizzi Erskine, Gennaro Contaldo, Romy Gill and David Bez will join the cohort of culinary kings and queens already confirmed to teach festival-goers their favourite tricks and divulge their recipe secrets in the NEFF Big Kitchen.

Haçienda Classical will be getting the weekend off to an electrifying start with nostalgic dance songs accompanied by a full classical

orchestra plus special guests.

Pop favourite Olly Murs tops the Saturday night bill with his charttopping hits, and the festival will come to an epic close with British giants Madness on the Sunday.

The weekend of music will also feature De La Soul, Louisa Johnson, Gentleman’s Dub Club, Dodgy, Cuban Brothers, Norman Jay MBE and many more. www.uk.thebigfeastival.com

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Music News

Get out in the Wilderness for a bit of wild fun!

This year’s colourful Wilderness Festival takes place at Cornbury Park, Oxfordshire from the 3rd to the 6th August.

The outdoor festival offers loads of exciting entertainment during your three day stay, the stage will be packed with BBC musical artists and acts will be playing such as Grace Jones, Bonobo and many more.

Hitting the main stage is Two Door Cinema Club with debut album “Tourist History”, featuring such huge but radio-shunned tunes such as ‘Something Good Can Work’ and “What You Know”.

Throughout the festival, family events will be held to keep the kids engaged and there’s a variety of workshops to be visited and explored like Hunter Gather Cook

Southwest Hardcore at Level 3 Think of a perfect hardcore night.

Bands such as Full Contact are performing an energetic stage show with a unique sound unlike any other.

Birmingham based Conspire, are owning the stage. And if that wasn’t fellow Brummie band Abandoment show up just to make it really special.

There is such a night and it takes place courtesy of Southwest Hardcore at Level 3 on Friday August 25.

It’s celebration of Willboo’s birthday. So, come along and celebrate! Doors open at 7:30.

Limited advance tickets are £4 and available from the Southwest Hardcore shop and the Rolly.

or Archery.

All tickets are for the full weekend because they want you to immerse yourself in their world.

There are no temporary visitors.

Stay for the duration, make yourself friends and get involved.

For tickets for the festival and more information visit the Wilderness Festival website: www. wildernessfestival.com

End of the Road’s a real trip A host of amazing acts are set to appear at the End Of The Road Festival this year, from Lucinda Williams and The Jesus and Mary Chain to Father John Misty and Band of Horses. Taking place on 31 August - 3 September, the End Of The Road has a unique atmosphere, relaxed and friendly but serious about music.

The site is designed in a way that we, as festival lovers, enjoy. The beautiful pleasure gardens at Larmer Tree, Dorset, form an ideal place to create a woodland wonderland to get away from it all. www.endoftheroadfestival.com

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In association with The Ocelot

Indie-geddon!

Legendary Swindon venue - the Vic. Below the Misfires and bottom the Sulks who are set for an evening of indie extravagance

On the 31 August, possibly Swindon’s finest live music venue will be hosting an indie take-over and it’s in association with us lot at The Ocelot.

The Vic, in Old Town will be flinging open its doors to a trio of new storming bands hoping to win a place in your hearts.

Misfires, The Sulks and Street Spirit will be hitting the stage in the venue’s intimate underground lair for the 14+ show, with tickets on the door £3 per person. Doors opens at 8.30pm.

For further information please visit the Vic’s website at www. thevicswindon.com Don’t miss out on other incredible acts during August at The Vic: Gasslands, Spunking Octochoke, Sex Jazz will be on Thursday 24 August.

As The Sun Sleeps, Penelope Tree, Break Glass are on Friday 25 August.

And on Friday 29 September, Deborah Bonham (the sister of the late Led Zep drummer John Bonham) will be taking to the stage.

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Gig list Tuesday August 1 Singaround 8pm - The Cellar Bar, Devizes Thursday August 3 to Sunday August 6 Fieldview Festival Malmesbury

7.30pm - The White House, Oxford The Mighty Disco Biscuits 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Red Hot Trio 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough

Wilderness Festival Cornbury Park, Oxfordshire

Soul Tones 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Thursday August 3 All Ears Avow + Kill the Ideal + Go Primitive + special guests 8pm - The Vic, Swindon

Jamie Hawkins 9pm - The Steam Railway, Swindon

Singers Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Leigh Chambers 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon King Terrible presents... The Lords of Disco Wonder DJ Night 11pm to 4am - The Cellar Oxford Friday August 4 to Sunday August 6 Supernormal Festival Braziers Park, Wallingford, Oxfordshire Friday August 4 Lionize 7pm - The O2 Academy, Oxford Showaddywaddy 8pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Roughcut Rebels 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Zing 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough

The BE Boys 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon

Last Call 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

The Hat Club 9pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

The Hammervilles 9pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

The Sour Taste + Supports 9pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

The Sirens 9pm - The Steam Railway, Swindon

Freerange Club Night 11pm to 3am - The Cellar Oxford

Tin Shack Band 9pm - The Woodlands Edge, Swindon

Sunday August 6 Last Call 5pm - The Bell, Wantage Oxfordshire

Sunday August 13 This Show 12pm to 11.30pm - Tap Social Movement, Botley Oxfordshire

Duenna 9pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Singaround 8pm - The Cellar Bar, Devizes

Seven Crowns 9pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Thurs August 10 to Sat August 12 Cropredy Festival Cropredy, Banbury

The Bull Town Boys 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon

Thursday August 10 Singers Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham

New Music Showcase 7pm - Corn Exchange, Newbury Goldie Lookin’ Chain 7.30pm - Level 3, Swindon Sparky’s Spontaneous Showcase and Spotlight Jam

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The Strays 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

People Like Us 9pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon

Rockin Ratbags 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford, Oxfordshire

Classic Ibiza Concert 6pm - Bowood House and Gardens, Calne Wiltshire

The Blunders 9pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Saturday August 12 Saints of Sin 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Tuesday August 8 Intrusion Club Night 8:30pm - 2am - The Cellar, Oxford

Saturday August 5 Pewsey Music Festival All Day - Cooper’s Field, Pewsey, Wiltshire

Ragged Union 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon

The Worried Men 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Locarno Beat 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

The Worried Men 9pm - The Mason’s Arms, Warminster

Meatloaf Tribute 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford, Oxfordshire

Rock Bottoms 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon King Terrible presents... The Lords of Disco Wonder DJ Night 11pm to 4am - The Cellar Oxford Friday August 11 to Sun August 13 Retro Festival Newbury Showground, Thatcham Friday August 11 Jukebox Cannonball 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon JC Carol (The Members) + Supports 9pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

Vice Versa 9pm - The Bell, Wantage Oxfordshire Lightgarden 9pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Monday August 14 Muskets/Weatherstate & Over to You 8.30pm - The Victoria Swindon Tuesday August 15 Too Many Zooz 7pm - The O2 Academy, Oxford Singaround 8pm - The Cellar Bar, Devizes Weds August 16 to Fri August 25 Stockfest 17 Stockcross village, Stockcross Berkshire Wednesday August 16 Alpha Male Tea Party + support *mathrock* 7pm - The Village Pump, Trowbridge Billy Branch with Giles Robson Band 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Thursday August 17 Singers Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Jim Blair (Hip Route) 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

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Gig List Fri August 18 to Sun August 20 Rewind Festival Remenham Farm, Henley On Thames White Horse Folk Festival Grove Rugby Club, Grove Oxfordshire Friday August 18 Summer Open Mic at The Pump 8pm - The Village Pump, Trowbridge Driving Sideways 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Angel Upfront 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon Natt Davis 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford Oxfordshire The Deadnotes (Germany) + Death By Shotgun 9pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury Worried About Mike 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Saturday August 19 Party in the Paddock - Olly Murs Newbury Racecourse, Newbury West Berkshire Haze 7pm - O2 Academy, Oxford Dave (Alarm) + Alie Finneran 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Nuttyness 8pm - Neeld Community and Arts Centre, Chippenham Stockfest Rock ‘n’ Blues with Chicago 9 8pm - The Sutton Hall, Stockcross Berkshire One Chord Wonders 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough Backmax & The Pirates 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon Decibelles (unplugged) 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon El Toro 9pm - The Woodlands Edge, Swindon Rockabilly Rumble 9pm - The Steam Railway, Swindon The Britpop Boys 9pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Oxfordshire No Middle Ground 9.30pm - The Beehive, Carterton Oxfordshire Electronic Sound Session DJ Night 11pm - 4am The Bullingdon, Oxford Sunday August 20 Lewis Creaven Band 9pm - The Bell, Wantage Oxfordshire

Kevin Lovatt (Johnny Cash tribute) 6.30pm - The Castle Inn, Swindon The Mike Hoddinott Blues Band 9pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Tuesday August 22 Phil Beer in Concert 7.30pm - St John’s church, Stockcross Berkshire

11pm to 3am - The Bullingdon, Oxford Saturday August 26 Semi Urban Fox + Pfaff + Brightworks The Wheatsheaf, Oxford Last Call 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough Rorkes Drift 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Singaround 8.30pm - The Cellar Bar, Devizes

Double Trouble 9pm - The Steam Railway, Swindon

Thursday August 24 Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band 7.45pm - Arlington Arts Centre, Newbury

Penfold 9pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon

Singers Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Ash/Get Inuit 8.30pm - Cheese and Grain, Frome Somerset Fri August 25 to Mon August 28 Winnie Gate’s First Anniversary Party The Winchester Gate, Salisbury Fri August 25 to Mon August 28 Reading Festival Richfield Avenue, Reading Berkshire The Big Feastival Churchill Heath Farm, Chipping Norton Oxfordshire The Towersey Festival Thame Showground, Thame Oxfordshire Friday August 25 Neruda Salisbury Arts Centre, Salisbury

Powerload 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Worried About Mike 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford Oxfordshire Volume #5 feat. Taxman & MC Trigga 11pm to 3am - The Bullingdon, Oxford Sunday August 27 Monthly Blues Jam Fat Lils, Witney Decibelles Unplugged 5.30pm - The Bell, Wantage Oxfordshire Banksy 6.30pm - The Castle Inn, Swindon Dirty ‘Arry 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Angel Upfront 9pm - The Woodlands Edge, Swindon Barrelhouse 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

SWHC proudly presents Full Contact + Conspire + Abandonment 8pm - Level 3 Swindon

Jukebox Cannonball 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon

Edgar & The Ravens 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Two Tribes 9pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Frank Turner DJ Set/Ghouls 8.30pm - Cheese and Grain, Frome Somerset

Tuesday August 29 Reg Meuross 9pm - The Cellar Bar, Devizes

Alicia 9pm - The Cross Keys, Swindon

Thurs August 31 to Sun Sept 3 End of the Road Festival Larmer Tree Gardens, Salisbury

Elvis 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford Oxfordshire Fizz 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Frenzy 9pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Chris Goldfinger DJ Set 11pm to 3am - O2 Academy Oxford

Thursday August 31 Daniel Romano 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Singers Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Alan Mills Solo 8.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

P.Y.T Club night

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Agony Girl

Ten year old Annabel is looking forward to the summer holidays. But she’s still had time to answer your problems. We ask her the questions and these are her answers.... honest!

Dear Annabel, Deep in the bosom of the gentle night Is when I search for the light Pick up my pen and start to write I struggle, I fight dark forces in the clear moonlight Without fear Insomnia I can’t get no sleep.

Any suggestions?

Maxi Jazz, London What’s a bosom? I struggle to get to sleep. It takes me ages. I can never get comfy. I’ll just lie there in the most comfortable position I can get into and then shut my eyes and fall asleep. It helps when I’ve got Ginny the cat in the room. Jessie the cat’s a bit annoying though as she licks me. It’s nice to know that there’s someone there in my room unless it’s a robber or a dangerous criminal or someone like that.

Dear Annabel, All the people So many people And hey all go hand-in-hand Hand-in-hand through their parklife Know what I mean?

Damon, Colchester No. I sometimes like going to the park. I see climbing frames and swings and that’s it. The last park I went to had swing chairs, trampolinea, and one of those huge bowls that you get in but it doesn’t make me feel sick. I also like all the doggies in the park but I spend most of the time in the field, running around and doing stuff.

Dear Annabel, See the stone set in your eyes See the thorn twist in your side I wait for you Sleight of hand and twist of fate

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On a bed of nails she makes me wait And I wait, without you With or without you.

How do I get her back?

Robert, Oxford You can’t. She’s gone now.

Dear Annabel, Let the wind blow high Let the wind blow low Through the streets In my kilt, I’ll go All the lassies say hello Donald, where’s your troosers?

Donald, Edinburgh You should look at your house as you probably left them there. I once forgot to take my crop top off when I got in the bath but then I took it off again. It didn’t get wet though.

Dear Annabel, But I would walk five hundred miles And I would walk five hundred more Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles To fall down at your door.

What footwear do you recommend?

The Reid Brothers, Leith Good hiking boots.

Dear Annabel, And when you’re out there, without care Yeah I was out of touch But it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough I just knew too much Does that make me crazy?

Steven, New York When you speak in riddles it makes me crazy.

Write into Annabel at jamie@theocelot.co.uk

21/07/2017 23:14

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21/07/2017 23:14

Ocelot 134.indd 48

21/07/2017 23:14