Ocelot 136 october 2017 final artwork

No: 136 October 2017

Wiltshire, Oxfordshire and West Berkshire

Free

The Brews and Eats Edition

p22 onwards

Including - The Oxford Artisan Distillery bringing good spirits to Ocelotshire p28

What's on Ocelot 136.indd 1

/ STYLE / EATS / BREWS / SCREEN / TECH 25/09/2017 18:15

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#136 For Starters

OCTOBER ISSUE

04 Michael Bosley + Luke Coleman 06 Encyclopaedia Oceloticca 07 Running for my life 08 The Bassett Rivers Echo Lifestyle

10 Get Away 12 Get A Life 14 Style 16 Tech 17 TV 18 Game 19 Film Brews and Eats

20 Wine not?

21 Brewery Bird 22 Helen Browning’s Chophouse 23 Franco Manca 24 Recipe 25 Hopback Brewery 26 The Oxford Artisan Distillery 28 The Swindon street of ale Arts and Culture

30 The Theatre List 33 Darkroom Espresso 34 Prime Theatre 35 Fright Night of The Ocelot Music

36 Bradley Cowtan 38 Review section - Gig Monkey etc.

40 The Twang 42 Gig List The Final Bit of the magazine

46 Agony Girl Ocelot 136.indd 3

Brews and eats

If there’s two things we love here at Castle Ocelot it’s eating and drinking.

One could even say that they’re essential to life so why not enjoy these pasttimes whilst you’re about it?

This month we go a bit ‘brews and eats’ mad and look into some of the new strange and wonderful things happening within the borders of Ocelotshire.

And there’s a lot going on.

During this issue we go crazy about some ribs, have a grin with some gin and get real with some ale.

On top of all this we introduce the newest member of The Ocelot team - four-year-old Amy who takes over as Agony Girl.

I’ve got high hopes for this girl and reckon she will have taken over the entire business within a couple of years. So watch out for a lot more articles on Barbies, The Amazing World of Gumball and how to really annoy your older sister.

There’s also a load of high jinks in Bassett Rivers, going grey in the fashion world with Gina Akers, getting a life with bells on, a night out in Newcastle, a bunch of music and theatre news and your comprehensive listings for the month ahead.

To say we’re stuffed full to the brim would be an understatement.

This month’s issue really is a feast and I would recommend washing it down with a lovely gin and tonic whilst chomping down on some Turkish Delight.

Bon appetit!

Write in to me at jamie@theocelot.co.uk

Jamie Hill

Editor: Jamie Hill - jamie@theocelot.co.uk Deputy: Ben Fitzgerald - ben@theocelot.co.uk Reporter: Claire Dukes - claire@theocelot.co.uk Sales: Dave Stewart dave@theocelot.co.uk - 07872 176999 Rosy Presley rosy@positivemediagroup. press - 07717 501790 Telephone: 01793 781986 Publisher: Positive Media Group, Unit 3, Arclite House, Peatmoor, Swindon SN5 5YN Printers: Stones, Badbury 25/09/2017 18:16

For Starters

The Nerd’s Last Word by Michael Bosley

“It’s noisy in here” observed my fiancé when we dined out at a small and trendy chain burger restaurant earlier this week. You know the kind; exposed lightbulbs, exposed brickwork, exposed ducting and exposed waiting staff. This place was so stripped back it made an abandoned factory warehouse look like a cosy nook in a Cotswold cottage.

It was stark and industrial with everything on show, including the kitchen, which for some reason is a thing now, perhaps to appease those who may have concerns about the restaurant’s hygiene. In which case, why don’t we just go all-out and install transparent toilets to check they’re washing their hands as well?

The charity, Action for Hearing Loss has recently conducted a study of contemporary restaurants and found that many are so loud, they are reaching noise levels of over 90dB – that’s the equivalent of a running lawn mower or motorbike engine right by your face.

I observed the same thing a few weeks before at a well-known Japanese restaurant that sported acoustically friendly furnishings such as solid stone floors, hardwood benches, tables and the obligatory open-plan kitchen - broadcasting loud frying noises, shouting and the occasional clatter of dropped pans; exactly the kind of jarring experience I needed to help me unwind after a long day of unwanted peace and quiet.

Conversation was mostly kept to short bursts, often with a cocked ear pointed in the direction of the speaker. “This is great” I thought as I found myself somehow being able to hear the excitable conversation from the twenty-something girls on other side of the room reverberating clearer than the person I was desperately trying to lip read in front of me.

Exposing yourself in restaurants Restaurants are at war with soft furnishings - carpets, curtains and even the plaster on the walls are the enemy.

They won’t stop until every establishment is as bare as a bus station concourse and we’re all eating our food perched upon stools fabricated from reclaimed scaffolding whilst an industrial fan buzzes menacingly above our heads for lack of a sound system, pumping in air from a nearby foundry for that added industrialized atmosphere.

Mimicking the aesthetics of an airy Brooklyn attic apartment may be du jour amongst popular restaurant chains at the moment, especially in the Instagram age where appearance often trumps the quality of the service and the food, but leaving an establishment with shellshock and tinnitus, begging for a quiet room to sit in won’t be at the top of most people’s lists when dining out.

A visit to the newly liberated Mosul Off The Grid with Luke Coleman Our man in Iraq “If there is any silver lining, it is this,” Ali said to me as we walked the streets of his neighbourhood, talking about how the city has changed.

“Now you can come to Mosul and see who we really are.”

During the first seven or eight months of my time in Iraq, it was possible to travel by taxi to Baghdad, using just my Kurdish residency permit. All the checkpoints were manned by Americans, and Westerners with the will were waved through on their missions south.

I never made that trip: too nervous, too short-sighted, too convinced Iraq was a merely a months-long fling,

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not what has become the most lasting relationship of my life. The Americans left early December 2011, and with that arrived the requirement for visas and whatnot, my chance to visit the capital significantly complicated.

But even back then, expats could not just visit Mosul. Among the community the received wisdom was that Westerners could expect to be kidnapped within half an hour. After 2011, the city became even more dangerous.

I’ve visited areas on the east three times since liberation. The first was sketchy. The second was controlled.

The third, this week passed, was amazing.

My companion was Ali, and I spent

a couple of hours walking around interviewing him about his life under ISIS, and the future for the city and his employer, the English literature department of Mosul University. No doubt about it, the city felt safe, and welcoming. The excising of ISIS may just be the best thing to have happened to it in decades.

The videos can be seen at twitter. com/Yalla_EN

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Science Fact: Whoah!!! Bots!!!

The humans are dead

by Ben Fitzgerald

There’s something sinister when a snide metallic voice passes judgment on your shopping.. “unexpected item in the bagging area” it bleats for the other shoppers to hear.

It’s the final straw.

“Who are you to tell me what I should or shouldn’t be putting into the bagging area? If I choose to buy Bran Flakes, a dozen eggs, some carrots and three bottles of Malibu - it’s not for some jumped up Dalek to stand in judgement.

“Anyhow Malibu is a great coconutty way to relax after a hard day at work. And why am I even justifying myself to you..?”

The impassive face of the automatic checkout droid registers nothing but contempt as the nervous store assistant asks me if I need any help with my shopping…

It’s just me, Elon Musk, Stephen Hawking and a select band tin-foil hat visionaries who are aware of the sinister robotic coup d’etat unfolding in plain sight around us. Everywhere you look, small acts of roborebellion are being enacted with increasing confidence and severity.

Do you really think it’s a coincidence that the WiFi goes tits up just when you need to send out an important e-mail?

Ever wondered why your digital radio goes all garbled during important news reports?

Wake up people.

The creation of 3d printers is one of the worst things - it’s the death knell for the human race.

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Think about it. It’s only a matter of time before one of these printers works out how to print another 3d printer - and if one of these infernal machines gets together with the unholy lovechild of Alexa and Siri you’ll end up with a new form of organism that can reproduce, answer you back, dim the lights, lock the doors and forcibly subject you to the entirety of Barry Manilow’s back catalogue.

Recently Steve and Elon (We’re on first name terms) have warned in an open letter that research needs to be carried out to ensure future superintelligent machines remain under human control. Remember - these are not just a couple of guys I got talking to in The Beehive.

Anyone who can design a rocket that can land itself back on a launchpad or tell us new things about black holes or time using maths and stuff - are worth taking seriously.

The letter states that AI has: “yielded remarkable successes in various component tasks such as speech recognition, image classification, autonomous vehicles, machine translation, legged locomotion, and questionanswering systems.”

It adds: “We recommend expanded research aimed at ensuring that increasingly capable AI systems are robust and beneficial: our AI systems must do what we want them to do.”

Sci-Fi writer Isaac Azimov saw this problem in the 60s, when men were landing on the moon with the computing power of a pocket calculator.

In his three laws of robotics he wrote: 1) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2) A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3) A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. They sound pretty foolproof don’t they?

I imagine God probably thought much the same when when he (he is a man... with a beard, I’ve seen pictures) rattled off the 10 commandments and slung them in Moses’ direction.

There’s no way that something as clear cut as Thou Shalt Not Kill can be misinterpreted is there?

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Running for my Life

Running out of time I’m out of time. As I’m writing this, I’ve got less than three weeks to go until the Birmingham Marathon on October 15.

On the right is a building that resembles a large scouring pad. That large scouring pad is going to be my goal as it’s at the finish line for the marathon.

I’ve never wanted to see a large scouring pad more in my life.

The scouring pad in question is the Bullring in Birmingham and when I next see it I will have run just over 26 miles. My legs will be jelly. I’ll be hallucinating doughnuts and I will be collapsing in its shadow.

I’ve got to admit, I don’t enjoy running.

I did.

But then I stupidly decided to do this marathon and I have been exhausted for months on end.

Last weekend I ran 21 miles.

I’ve never found anything as hard as that before in my life. I was a physical wreck.

And I’ve got to run 22 miles this weekend coming as my last long training run. I would have run this by the time you read this.

Pain is now my middle name.

It’s not completely certain that I will be able to find the energy to complete an extra four miles for the marathon on top of that.

I’m not going to know until the day.

And all of this for a charity that has done more for my life than any other organisation has ever done. All of this for ICP Support who support the countless pregnant women who suffer intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy, which can lead to premature or even stillbirth as the liver stops functioning properly in pregnancy.

All of this because I don’t know if my three children would be here without them.

I owe them a lot. All of this for them. If you would like to sponsor me you can chuck money at: www.justgiving.com/fundraising/james-hill36

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Bassett

The

Rivers

Echo

Scary news for scary times...

Abba stars reform as tribute act to tribute band Bjorn Again: p69

F

C

North Courier f-bomb threat North Courier staff quietly shit themselves as Jon Kom-on prepares to unleash yet another F-bomb

by Michael Bubbly

A war of words has broken out between two influential Bassett Rivers businessmen.

At a heated exchange this week Jon Kom-on who heads the family-run North Courier company threatened to drop an F-bomb in response to arch rival Don Thinkabow-tit’s constant jibes about the size of his package company.

The latest outbreak of hostilities came when Don, who has a majority shareholding in rival firm South Courier, was accused of being disrespectful by peering over the fence that divides the two companies and ‘pulling a face a bit like a goldfish’.

Don has responded that Jon had repeatedly been quite rude

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in his general direction, using foul language, some of which was within earshot of those working at South Courier.

He adding that he was not pulling a face - explaining that is his actual face and that anyone who compares his mouth to a cat’s sphincter was just SAD. Mr Thinkabow-tit also accused Kom-on of working on developing a powerful megaphone to project his F-bombs from his North Courier offices to within earshot of Don’s plush Whitehouse home in the upmarket Washington gatedcommunity. Representatives from the China gifts (known for it’s range of whimsical crockery featuring faces of members of the Royal family) - a key North Courier

customer - have been working hard behind the scenes to placate both Mr Kom-on and Mr Thinkabout-tit by providing vast quantities of calming bubble wrap. However, it has been noted by all members of the United Bassett Rivers Business Community that Jon Kom-on is very close to unleashing a C-bomb thought to be up to twenty times more powerful than his existing vocabulary of F-bombs.

Analysts suggest that Jon Komon is embarking on this tirade of foul language, partly to maintain discipline among staff at North Courier and also to ensure that people treat him a bit more like an adult - having noticed that all the business leaders with access to F-bombs are treated with caution.

25/09/2017 18:16

Proposed Taylor Swift development hits snag as project does not include enough affordable homes Bassett Rivers MP Bane ‘Drive-by’ Bullet’s monthly Column

By Livi Ngroom Plans to build Taylor Swift in Bassett Rivers have hit a snag after objectors objected to the plan by objecting.

The plan by developers Taylor Wimpey Swift to build the iconic pop star on a greenfield site had always been controversial not least because the plans included a Tom Hiddleston, an entire entourage and a Twitter feud with Kim Kardashian and did not include affordable homes or sufficient road infrastructure.

Originally the proposed development ran into problems after local Bassett Rivers resident Kanye West objected to the plans as it did not include a Beyonce.

A spokesperson for Taylor Wimpey Swift said: “Our proposed development of a Taylor Swift in Bassett Rivers would have been a massive boost to the local economy.

“Just having a Taylor Swift here would have seen several thousand paparazzi flocking here as well as autograph hunters and fans.

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“Just look at Dudley. Before they installed a George Clooney most people would have been hard-pressed to name where Dudley is but now it is the most famous place in Britain.

“Taylor Swift would have put Bassett Rivers on the map. It’s just a shame that objectors objected to it by objecting so now we can no longer go ahead.”

The plan for a Taylor Swift had originally been referred to a planning inquiry but now the plan has been withdrawn as the developers couldn’t shake it off.

Tess Armchair Clarke, of Keep Celebrity Developments Out Of Bassett Rivers (KCDOOBR) said: “These plans were just too ambitious and would have ruined the entire village.

“The developers should have started with something a lot less ambitious rather than aiming for the stars with Taylor Swift. I don’t think there would have been half the objections that there were if they had opted to build a former X Factor winner like Matt Cardle or a Belinda Lang who played the wife in 2.4 Children.”

I iz findin’ dis politicz game well weird.

Dere iz dis ting called da whip.

Dis izn’t like a good whip like me biatch (mum) usez on her customerz or like da one dat geezer Indiana Jonez usez.

No dis iz a whip dat politicianz use to get ovva politicianz in line.

I iz like expected 2 vote against makin’ ganja legal although we all know dat it wuld sort da headz out of most of da population in one foul swoop.

Dere wuldn’t be any warz or violence if everybody had a toot now n again az dey wuld be too busy raidin’ da cupboardz lookin’ for cheesy wotsitz 2 worry about hatin’ ovva people.

But dis whip ting iz used 2 get u 2 vote wiv your party whether u agree wiv it or not.

I iz like alwayz ‘angin around in da Westminster corridorz (usually tryin’ 2 score some WKD as da barman at da bar sayz I don’t look old enough) and I iz hearin’ da word from all da MPz dat dis Brexit ting iz da worst ting 2 happen since dey made dat bloke from da apprentice in America da president.

But all dese MPz, especially, da Tory onez r well scared 2 vote against it even dough dey did during da referendum and tink it iz shit because of dere party whip.

Me biatch (mum) alwayz used 2 say 2 me wuld you jump off a cliff if all ya matez were doin’ it and I wuld alwayz say don’t be stupid az I iz like 2 intelligent 4 dat and 2 lazy 2 go 2 da edge of da cliff in da first place az it iz too far from da bus stop.

But dese MPz, r goin’ 2 jump off da cliff becoz dey r all scared of da whip despite da fact dey all know it will ruin da country 4 decadez 2 come.

I avven’t seen da whip yet but I iz reckonin’ it must be well scary az it really ‘az all dese grown men n women scared.

I bet it iz like all spikey n’ shit. Fo’shizzle.

Bane ‘Drive-by’ Bullet iz now in da house!

Respect!

25/09/2017 18:16

Get Away

Get away, pet!

By Ben Fitzgerald Newcastle is incredibly far away - you need to have a pressing reason to visit.

In fact, it’s so far north that the oxygen is much thinner than it is in the south, requiring anyone travelling from Wiltshire to employ some form of breathing apparatus before becoming fully acclimatised.

Our pressing reason to visit was the Great North Run - which my brother Matt and I had decided to sign up for in a fit of middleaged anxiety. For Matt, it was also a return to the stomping grounds of his youth and for me an opportunity to politely nod along to a series of tedious reminiscences.

Newcastle prides itself on its strong cultural identity and makes a point of doing things differently.

It’s also in a different time zone - not hours behind, like New York - or decades, like Wales - but approximately five weeks ahead.

In the six or so hours it took to drive up the spine of England from the sun dappled south, still bathed in a Summer glow, we stepped out of our car up to our ankles in fallen leaves - the sun slanting diagonally through the bare trees.

We pitched up at our city centre Premier Inn and the first

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question demanded of us - before any talk of room keys or luggage - was “Where are youse lads off to tonight then?”

Hard drinking, although not compulsory, is expected of you.

And we were happy to oblige.

So after checking into our room, half expecting to see Lenny Henry testing the pocket sprung mattress, we hit the toon.

Newcastle city centre is brimming with amazing boozers and has undergone somewhat of an evolution in recent years.

Previously, you might have been assured a good kicking if you had ordered a half pint or been laughed at for wearing anything other than a t-shirt or attempting to order anything containing exotic avocado.

But now there’s a whole range of different drinking establishments catering for a range of differing tastes. We started in the Crown Posada, an amazing traditional Victorian bar with the dimensions of a railway carriage, all dingy lighting, squashy sofas and stained glass.

Next stop was the Red House, a pie and ale pub with a sort of flow-chart based menu where you choose your pie based 1) choose pie 2) choose type of mash accompaniment 3) peas (mushy, peas pudding or minted)

4) type of gravy. And to round off the evening a flying visit to Brew Dog - a Scottish craft beer company riding the crest of the hipster wave. There were many more pubs we needed to visit, but we had a date at an amazingly cheap pizza place in Jesmond, a 15 minute stroll out of the city centre.

We walked past plenty of other pizza places on the way - but there is nowhere quite like Pizzeria Santana’s.

Lasagne was £5.95... as was our amazing pizza and pretty much anything else on the menu.

You couldn’t hope to buy a fistfull of dough balls for the same price down south - obviously he only took cash.

Don’t get me wrong - we did actually take part in the Great North run - crossing over the finish line like a wide-screen version of Brownlee Brothers.

We also went a did a bit of culture - mooching around the Baltic art gallery, staring at some amazing bridges and taking in the stunning Georgian architecture.

But very quickly we had to go and find a decent ‘stottie’ for breakfast before thinking about where to go drinking the following night.

I think I’m a little bit in love with Newcastle.

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Get a Life

There’s a method in the madness

By Claire Dukes “Here is a riddle to guess if you can, sing the bells of Notre Dame...”

So in August, big news, we found out that the big man himself, Ben, would be falling silent until 2021.

You’d think Londoners would appreciate a few years of silence, what with all the minutes they’ve given him, but alas apparently it was quite a landmark moment.

In all fairness he’s been chiming away for the last 157 years, so I’m seeing it as a well deserved holiday. Take it easy Ben. It sounds obvious, but a little unimpressive, that there isn’t a guy up in the bell tower dedicated to pulling the strings. There is however a winding mechanism that requires a little elbow grease a few times a week...

Yeah, definitely doesn’t have a good ring to it. Neither does it sound as epic or grand as you might have hoped.

Back in Ocelotshire you can argue that we’re a bit behind, or we just do things damn straight like actually manually ringing the bells.

Being a local Swindion resident of Lydiard Park I’ve often heard St Mary’s bells echoing in the distance, which is very pleasant of an evening with a glass of wine but not so pleasant the following morning…

Being the curious creature that I am,

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and apparently with not a lot else to do on a Tuesday, I went to have a gander and a go.

Besides, how hard can it be?

It turns out that to be an accomplished bell ringer you will need rhythm and muscle - two major qualities I just so happen not to have.

One thing I didn’t realise is that there is also a huge bell ringing society - yeah, that’s a thing - all across the UK and beyond.

They’re everywhere! And extremely talented, which leads me to my next fun fact.

Another chiming quality you will need to pocess is the ability to read music, from strings...

It’s a kind of cross combination of a minature loom and hieroglyphics, which was probably made by a fraternity of church elders hundreds of years ago.

Some people did however manage to crack the code, which is what bell ringers call a ‘method’, and out of this twisted madness comes the music.

Fortunately Lydiard’s Tregoze ringers broke it down for me, and as with all musical instruments practice makes perfect.

There was one minor incident where I took to the strings (it is harder than it looks) which strangely enough did not wind up with a noise complaint and granted me with an invatation back. I’d buy some ear plugs!

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Ocelot

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Style

Storming it on th By fashion writer Gina Akers By the power of greyscale! Grey is here to stay as the perfect go to power colour for anytime style. Grey inspires a palette of shades and textures and combines well with both cool and warm tones. Wear it warm with rose gold, bronze or beige, or keep it cool with bright white, blues and mauves.

Forget dull flat tones and off white hint of grey effects, the new greys in fashion include chrome, pewter, slate, charcoal and granite shades. Charles Conrad Watches really show-case in style how versatile grey and silver can be, go for the Charles Conrad Silver-Faced Rose Gold & Grey Leather Watch (£189) and Black & Grey Unisex Watch (£179) at www.charles-conrad.com Style out your stormy days with the Protected Species Storm Grey Waterproof City Walker Jacket (£175), from www.protected-species.com Stormy shades can really complete an outfit, the BIJOU BIJOU Pompom Choker Necklace (£13) is a handcrafted brass necklace with a grey pompom, available from www.bijoubijou.com Jonathan Aston Harmony Grey Over Knee Socks (£14) are ideal for snug accessorising, visit www.asos.com Charnos Grey Fashion Cotton Cable Tights give a warming twist to a look, available from www.charnoshosiery.co.uk and www.uktights.com Barry M have launched a new on trend shade for Autumn in their Gelly Hi Shine Nail Paint range (£3.99) visit www.barrym.com Go from one end of the shade spectrum to the other with Leighton Denny’s Light & Dark Hydrating Body Wash (£11) and Shimmering Body Creme (£12.50) from www.LD-Boutique.com For home grey is the new beige though in contrast to its predecessor it’s proves far from drab. Grey tones seem to work well with a variety of other colours making grey the perfect base colour or an ideal cool canvas.

Just like an amazing storm dark cloudy grey shades have a strong emotional intensity to bring a room to life, while at same giving a softer secure feeling that promises to bring calm to your surroundings. French Chic paints are so versatile

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and easy to use they make it feel like you could make anything be what you want it to be.

Try French Chic Furniture Paint 750ml (£16.95), in Stormy to revamp existing furniture or up-cycle furniture and accessories to create something new. French Chic’s Al Fresco outdoor paints are ideal for a range of outdoor projects from sheds to garden furniture and even for painting front doors! Check out www.frenchicpaint.co.uk Whatever the weather you’ll be sure not to lose your way with the SASS & BELLE Set of 3 Nordic Star Suitcases (£23), or when not on your travels they are great for added storage at home, visit www.flamingogifts.co.uk Breville have the perfect matching Kettle and Toaster combo with their Strata collection in a cool grey shade but promising great hot tea and toast.

Featuring a smooth matt finish for easy cleaning the kettle benefits from having a fast heating element to boil up to eight cups of water, and the toaster has a removable crumb tray for easy cleaning. Priced at £59.99 each with a special 20% discount if you purchase both at the same time, visit www.breville.co.uk Poole Pottery’s Aura Manhattan Vase (£135) features patterns, colours, shapes and movement that look like it has been inspired by the beauty of a perfect storm, visit www.poolepottery.co.uk The Pyro Pet Kisa Cat Grey Candle (£25) is as grey as a darkened sky but when burned down reveals the coolest evil kitty.

As the Kisa (Kitty in Icelandic) candle burns down if you look at the shadow on the wall, it’s no longer a kitty but a skeleton’s profile. The cute kitten has gone and left a sharp teethed glinting kitty skeleton, from www.flamingogifts.co.uk My Billet Doux (my love/sweet note) Cushion (£210) is made with antique or vintage ribbons and a “secret” pocket at the back to keep a pen and notebook (which comes with it).

Each silk cushion is unique and handmade in York with the idea you give it to a loved one and exchange handwritten notes, or keep it on your bed and write your own notes or diary, perfect to snuggle up with while you write secret notes on a stormy day, from www.mybilletdoux.com

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Style

n the style front Right: Protected Species Waterproof City Walker Jacket. And left from top Pyro Pet Kisa Cat Grey Candle, Aura Manhattan Vase, Serpentin Gunmetal Grey Silk Cushion, M Gelly Hi Shine Nail Paint, Charles Conrad Black & Grey Unisex Watch, Jonathan Aston Grey Over Knee Socks, Charles Conrad Silver-Faced Rose Gold & Grey Leather Watch

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Tech

Just so...

Xpensive!

By Mike Barham iPhone X – One small step for phones, one giant leap into last year…

Apple geeks the world over may have cheered the announcement of the latest, and supposedly greatest iPhone since the original trailblazer, during early September but what have the $1tn computing giant/ purveyor of vitamin C fuelled technology proved with the latest iteration of what is arguably the most recognisable piece of tech in our lives today?

Other than the fact that they can’t seem to stop their employees splurging information all over the internet days before one of their big showing off parties?

Firstly, iPhone X is all a little old hat. I know that sounds daft, it’s a big technological release

by Apple after all! The brand synonymous with innovation, reiteration and always crafting new ways to make you think “Yeah, I’ll spend £1000 on being able to log my morning

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Weetabix from my wrist!”

Wireless charging? Samsung have already done it. Facial recognition? Samsung have already done it. Edge to edge display with no home button?

Guess who… I mean, have Apple simply sat back, picked all the best bits and gone “Lads, I’ve had a great idea!” It’s pathetic!

You’re essentially spending a thousand pounds on turning yourself into an emoji panda!

AND WE’VE ALREADY GOT APPS THAT DO THAT ANYWAY! Secondly… £1000. Just let that sink in. £1000 to call your Mum to get a lift home. Or text your mates to organise a trip to the pub.

Apple have clearly been gunning for the golden 1k mark with their yearly price increases, but now that the shiny four digit figure has been reached, especially with bankers and politicians still taking their sizable shovel-load out of your wages one way or another, you have to ask, isn’t this price-tag again feeling a little old fashioned?

And thirdly, if you’re going to have this massive build up, saying it’s the biggest iPhone release since the original and list all these amazing features… don’t then go on to say “Oh, and also there is an iPhone 8 coming out. You know, for the peasant classes.”

It’s a little condescending, but also a bit thick.

These Californian nerds are supposed to be technical world leaders! Their marketing division has single handedly destroyed parental bank accounts year in, year out when it comes to Christmas presents for the middle class kids and their bourgeoisies buddies. So why not leave the iPhone 8 release for another couple of months to build up a second hype train?!

Oh, and apparently now your Apple Watch is getting 4G, but only if you buy a shiny new one for £300. To log your aforementioned Weetabix.

Supposedly so you can text the results of your daily calorie intake to someone who actually gives a f***.

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Screenzone: TV Why the long face Bojack?

I’m alright Bojack

Screen Grab A TV column by Jamie Hill I just cried at a talking horse.

Well almost. There was definite lumpage in my throat.

Netflix is to blame. Well kind of.

Bojack Horseman is really the cause. It’s just so damn good.

It was meant to be a funny show. A bit of light entertainment that would make me laugh.

But, as I watched, and grew to love the characters, I found it was a completely different beast altogether.

I wasn’t expecting a deep and traumatic tale saying a lot about the human (well equine anyway) condition. But that’s what I got.

I was expecting zany antics intertwined with peurile humour. Okay. You do get that. But you actually get made to think in between. Damn you Bojack, you’ve sucked me into your world.

It’s all there on Netflix for you to discover. The entire four seasons.

The whole thing is genius. Hilarious and intelligent as you follow Bojack Horseman, a washed-up former sitcom actor from the nineties as he goes from one scrape to another taking you to some pretty dark places en route.

I suppose The Simpsons started animation on this journey with its satirical ability to appeal to adults a breath of fresh air when it first appeared.

Then came the superb South Park which is still probably one of the most intelligent programmes on television. I say one of as both Bojack Horseman and

Wubba lubba dub dub!

the brilliant Rick and Morty are the current kings of adult animation (both of which are on Netflix).

Rick and Morty in particular is one of the most creative shows on the small screen at the moment. It’s just so much more than just a cartoon show about a boy and his inventor granddad going on crazy science adventures.

What you get is actually one of the most imaginative shows ever which manages to turn every convention on its head.

Unlike the Simpsons, these shows are blessed with proper continuity. Something South Park has put in place in the last couple of seasons after years of simply reincarnating Kenny every episode.

This completely lends itself to binge viewing. You find yourself sucked into the plot. You need to know what happens. It might even make you cry.

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Screenzone: Gaming

LA Noire gets the next gen treatment

Game On!

by Jamie Hill In a surprise announcement, Rockstar has revealed that its detective adventure LA Noire is coming to four new platforms — Nintendo Switch, PS4, Xbox One, and VR. And I, personally, can’t wait to delve back into the rich underbelly of 50s LA. When it first came out seven years this game became an obsession for me as I marveled at its detail and its complicated and shocking storyline.

Rockstar are the kings when it comes to sandbox games.

They did it with Red Dead and GTA V is still one of the best games out there, regularly played to death by myself.

According to Rockstar, the new PS4 and Xbox One versions of the game will “deliver the complete original game and all additional downloadable content with a range of technical enhancements for greater visual fidelity and authenticity,” including 4K support for the Xbox One X and PS4 Pro. On the Nintendo Switch, meanwhile, the game will introduce both motion and touch controls to the main game. Hopefully it’s a sign that other Rockstar titles like Grand Theft Auto V could eventually make their way to Nintendo’s portable console as well. All three versions will be available on November 14.

Perhaps most exciting, though, is a VR spinoff that represents Rockstar’s debut in the realm of virtual reality. Called LA Noire: The VR Case Files, the new game will feature seven selfcontained cases from the original game redesigned for VR. The spinoff will be available on the HTC Vive, though it’s not clear when the VR version will launch.

The original LA Noire was first released in 2011 on PC,

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“Funny place to fall asleep?”

Xbox 360, and PS3, and was notable both for its distinct film noir aesthetic, and its impressive facial capture technology.

It really is like you’ve stepped into a film. You half expect the cast of LA Confidential to step out of the shadows at any moment.

And there’s nothing like following the clues, and ignoring the red herrings, to hunt the criminals down. It’s fantastic stuff.

What’s most surprising though is that this is a remastered version of the older game and not a wholly new game itself.

Hopefully enough time has passed that it doesn’t just feel like I’m repeating history. And there is a part of me that is disappointed that this is not a whole new experience. But hopefully if this does well on the new consoles Rockstar might revisit it for a sequel.

But with such good characterisation and plot I’ve got to admit that I’ll be first in the queue to pick up my police badge and gun and hit those streets trying to catch me some perps.

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Screenzone: Film

Psycho mother, qu’est-ce que c’est...

Are You Talkin’ To Me? A Film column by Claire Dukes *This article contains spoilers* If it’s controversial and twisted, it’s going in the film column.

Mother! is not the most conventional horror, but it’s very in line with Aronofsky’s mind-fuck approach to his films.

It’s definitely not for everyone, but for this former film student it’s genius.

The trailer could almost fool you into thinking J-Law is running around a house being pestered by poltergeists, amongst other spirited guests.

C’mon, Aronofsky wouldn’t be unique in this medium if he was basic (or predictable).

No no, he’s brought back classic horror with a twist and made it suave.

There’s no lazy narrative glitches, or monsters just for the hell of it. The film, as turbulent as it is, is a well constructed cycle.

So what’s the focus on mother?

Well J-Law plays “Mother” and she is nothing short of a allegorical representation of the world around us.

This is primarily drawn from her connection to the house itself as we are immersed inside the walls to see a beating heart.

In my eyes she is mother earth first born, and in this case her life force stems from the crystal which transforms the house into its fixed state at the start.

We are then taken on a nihilistic journey which sees Mother’s nest torn apart by natural disasters like overpopulation and climate change.

The signifiers are all there: the house gets overcrowded; water pipes burst; flames start to rise.

Mother constantly struggles to build her home as she simultaneously tends to the needs of uninvited guests, and a husband who uses and abuses the love and nurturing she gives to him.

Eventually Mother has given all she has to give.

Cue chaos, destruction and an angry mob.

Her husband, “Him”, is the main ignition to this descent believing very much that “everyone is welcome” in their home - throughout this is very much where their idea of home differs.

Him’s also a writer, and an egotistical one at that, who lacks inspiration to complete his novel. This is until the arrival of Ed Harris and Michelle Pfeiffer who are very dismissive towards the lady of the house.

Mother’s blood, sweat and tears (literally) seep into the foundations which gradually breaks it down.

Aronofsky at no point holds back with the unravelling repurcussions of ignoring Mother. It’s then that Him’s fan base come cult gathering turned ritual pushes Mother to the very edge. Or maybe it was the bit where they ate her baby?

Needless to say a lesson is always learnt from Aronofsky: don’t do drugs, and respect your mother.

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Brews and Eats Special

Wine: hit or myth?

By Darren Willmott This month we’re looking at some of those pesky wine myths that do the rounds and confuse anyone getting interested in the wonderful world of wine buying, tasting and storing. Perhaps the only negative aspect of ‘the grapevine’, let’s set the record straight on a few of them.

Champagne is best served in a flute glass: Visually, long slim flute glasses are spot on for seeing bubbles rise up the glass, but the small rim doesn’t fully allow the wine to open up. Strangely, people are happy to pay £10+ for a red wine and use the wider opening of a standard glass to fully appreciate the aromas, yet pay £30+ for Champagne and use a smaller glass that doesn’t. Try a standard glass instead.

The heavier the bottle, the better the wine: Packaging has no effect on the wine (except for raising the price). At best, it’s indicative of a winemaker showcasing his wine in the best possible way. At worst, it means he is over-compensating for the dross inside.

Champagne corks should go pop: The virtual sound of celebration and, as seen on Formula 1 podiums, a complete waste of Champagne.

Chill the bottle down to subdue the pressure and then slowly twist the cork out pressing against the remaining pressure. The sound should be more ‘pfff’ than ‘pop’ and is said to be reminiscent of ‘a well satisfied lady’.

Red wine with meat, white wine with fish: A good guide, but if you love your food and wine it isn’t a robust rule. Well-grilled fish loves a

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lighter bodied red and meat like pork and veal is absolutely fine with white wine. Also remember that ‘what grows together goes together’ so perhaps go for a Spanish dish with a Spanish red or white.

Serve red wine at room temperature: Certainly true before houses were centrally heated, serving red at today’s room temperature (~21°c) means you’re probably drinking it too warm and soupy. Busting another myth, don’t be afraid to pop red wine in the fridge for 20 minutes to lightly chill it down to the recommended 14-18°c.

Open bottles early to let them breathe: To clarify, some wines need decanting and air will react and draw out additional complexities.

Simply taking the cork out and leaving the bottle to stand won’t do a thing as only a 1p sized bit of the wine is in contact with the air. Leaving the bottle ‘airing’ for a

couple of hours also means you have to wait longer to drink it!

Vintage is better quality than Non-Vintage: Producers put as much effort in to Non-Vintage as it is blended from a range of base wines into a house style consistent the world over, year after year. The Non-Vintage is also usually the entry point wine for a brand and, as such, has to be the perfect ‘shop-window’ in terms of quality.

Boxed wine is rubbish: Don’t be fooled by the ability to get a greater volume of wine for a relatively cheaper price. Being more portable, durable and housed in card rather than glass, any cost savings come from cheaper logistics rather than from cutting corners in production. The only downside of drinking boxed wine is that you can’t quite see how much you’ve already drunk!

Cheers!

Read Darren’s blog at vinesight.me

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Brews and Eats Special

Hops and Glory The Brewery Bird Column

Britain doesn’t have a written constitution.

But if it did, it might well outline “the right of the people to keep and bear beer”. With a unique brewing tradition stretching back an estimated 2,000 years, the country is considered one of the worlds’ great brewing and beer drinking nations. Indeed, according to some studies, beer is second only to the royal family in the list of attractions that tempt tourists to our shores. No wonder a pint is thrust into the hands of every visiting dignitary, from Trump to Xi Jinping.

In the 1870s, Britain boasted 72,000 acres of hops. But today, despite some 1,400 breweries in the UK (more per capita than anywhere on earth), there are just 2,500 acres left. More worryingly still, the UK only accounts for 1.6 per cent of global hop production, lagging far behind Germany and the US, which produce a massive 35 per cent each. Confounding matters further is the fact that in recent years British craft brewers have tended to opt for punchy New World hops with more exotic aromas of grapefruit and pineapple, something legendary beer writer Roger Protz has compared to French winemakers importing grapes from abroad—a scenario that few could ever have imagined.

“As the beer world has embraced more and more punchy, aromatic new world hops, more subtle flavoured varieties have fallen out of fashion,” he says. “And unfortunately Britain has struggled to grow hops with these kinds of characteristics, largely because of our climate and soil. The good news is that beer drinkers, like everybody else, get bored of drinking the same

thing again and again, which is why we’re now seeing a revival of older, more traditional beer styles that rely on more reserved English hops.”

Surprisingly, this trend is already taking off across the pond. “There’s massive interest in English hops in the US at the moment for several reasons. Firstly the country is struggling to produce enough of its own hops to meet demand.

Secondly, brewers over there are increasingly moving away from big, strong hoppy beers, like double IPAs, towards lighter more traditional English-style bitters, steadily realising that English hops are unique and have their own special attraction. In fact, demand is so high that a lot of American brewers are struggling to get their hands on English hops.”

However, British hop growers have not been allowing the proverbial moss to grow, having set up a new hop-growing programme over the past couple of years, the aim of which is to produce varieties that are capable of rivalling US and other new world hops for flavour. The development successes so far have included new British varieties such as Jester, Olicana and Minstrel. A small number of UK brewers have been selected to brew with the experimental varieties and provide feedback both on the technicalities during brewing and how the hop flavours perform in trade and whether the customers like or dislike the beers – a process which is ongoing, and extremely exciting to be a part of!

Other British hops to look out for: • UK Cascade – lychees, floral, grapefruit • Target – sage, spice, citrus • Jester – grapefruit and tropical fruits

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Brews and Eats Special

REVIEW: Helen Browning’s Chop House

By Claire Dukes 19-21 Wood St, Swindon SN1 4AN. After a recent Night of the Ocelot, the team needed a little bit of TLC and we knew Helen Browning’s Chop House would sort us out.

If you haven’t been to the Chop House in Wood Street, Swindon, the poster shot from outside doesn’t look too dissimilar to something you’d see on the cover of Country Life.

From the moment you walk in the restaurant it’s rustic and homely, with a cosy amount of wooden furniture displayed around the room accompanied by charming farm-life pictures on the walls.

There was plenty of space Friday lunchtime, so we shuffled ourselves into a corner table peering onto Wood Street. There was also plenty of choice, so we sat with our heads held low and drooled over the menu.

Whilst not making quick and snappy decisions, our wonderfully bubbly waitress insisted she bring over some cans of Crawford Press, assuring us that this would put a hop back in our step. And, she was right.

Both the rhubarb and apple spring water potions were incredibly refreshing.

From the moment I thought about lunch I knew I wanted (and needed) something slutty. So I went for The Chop House Beef Burger, and it did its job beautifully.

Unlike most burger joints Helen had tapped into my need for something juicy and filling, but not so I was left feeling like a heart attack was about to call. The house burger was fresh tasting, not marinated in salt, and left my clothes without dreaded grease drips.

Ocelot editor, Jamie, went down a similar avenue and was oddly gracious when tucking into a generous helping of ribs. It was actually quite impressive to watch.

Jamie said: “They lived up to their name as ‘the best ribs in town’. Absolutely delicious with a wonderful bbq, tangy sauce. I’m still salivating thinking about them right now.”

Ben however, our deputy reporter, did a complete

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U turn and opted for one of Helen’s Superbowls.

Ben said: “One of the chop house’s constantly evolving super salads – which changes ingredients with season and availability.

“Having over indulged in some craft lager fuelled antics the previous evening and feeling a little weakened as a result, I felt the need to indulge in a bit of foodie self love.

“Served in a bowl, this colourful mix of (if I’m remembering correctly) butternut squash, lettuce, roasted peppers, beetroot, couscous, various scrummy seed things and a generous helping of shredded seasoned pork, was just what the doctor ordered.

“The whole myriad of wonderful grub was a total treat. I shall order again. And again.”

Needless to say, team Ocelot was revived and ready for our day trip out around Swindon.

Helen, you’re a life saver, thank you!

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Brews and Eats Special

Shaddap you face!

Like a culinary warzone - but in good way

Franco Manca’s new Oxford branch opens with a bang. Ben Fitzgerald was there.

It was just so.. noisy.

Turning up at Franco Manca’s Oxford launch party was a bit like stumbling across an Italianthemed riot - everywhere I looked things seemed to be on the verge of falling apart. A teetering tower of unattended espresso cups, waiters on a collision course, freshly made pizzas dripping with napalm hot mozzarella.

But my God, it was the best smelling riot ever.

“Err I’m here for the launch?” I ventured.

The waitress pointed to the back of the room with her elbow and said something that I couldn’t hear - it could have been ‘anchovies’ or ‘arseholes’.. I wasn’t sure. The place was packed and to work our way to the far recesses of the restaurant, I had to pass uncomfortably close to my fellow patrons, ducking under someone’s drinking arm and stepping over someone’s lap. We started with the Burrata Pugliese - incredibly melty mozzarella filled with cream and a simple selection of wild pig fennel salami - sort of slung down in front of us in relaxed, if not downright actively rude fashion.

I think the idea is that the food can speak for itself - why do we need formality when the food is so darn fine?

I’ve been to quite a few restaurant openings before, and usually they are quite anxious affairs - with hand-wringing head waiters asking if everything is still to sir’s satisfaction with the truffle and avocado foam. I normally end up with a tight knot in my stomach.

Not so at Franco Manca’s - our Lithuanian waitress, who flung herself down at our table

as we tucked into a taste explosion of freshly made sourdough pizza (Gloucester old spot ham, mozzarella, buffalo ricotta and wild mushrooms) explained that the air of frenetic chaos was a deliberate part of the ‘Franco Manca’ experience.

She explained: “In some places, if someone breaks a plate, the waitress looks apologetic and everyone is embarrassed for her. Here at Franco Manca’s, we are always breaking things, and when that happens everyone cheers. Sometimes the chefs do it deliberately if they think everything’s a bit quiet and reserved - that’s the way we like it at Franco Manca’s.”

Well, whether it’s the flying crockery or the incredible food, they appear to have hit on something - since being founded in a Brixton restaurant in 2008 - the chain has proved hugely popular and has 39 stores nationally - with new branches bubbling up all over the place.

You might think that with a rival pizza place on every corner that would be an almost impossible trick to pull off in such a crowded market place but it’s the obsessive attention to detail - even to the artfully engineered extrovert atmosphere - that tips the scales. Be it the amazing organic wine selection (sourced by small producers specifically for Franco Manca’s) or the exquisite espresso - flame roasted

by Gianni Frasi in 50 kilo batches.

This place is fine tuned to perfection.

It worked for me and I’m a miserable customer at the best of times - so I’m sure that it will work for you because you are a much nicer person.

Visit the Oxford branch at 12 George Street and see what all the fuss is about. Go on. www.francomanca.co.uk/restaurants/oxford

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Brews and Eats Special Easy, cheesy, baked spuds with kale Baking potatoes aren’t, as some people believe, a type – the name refers to the size. Floury potatoes give the fluffiest insides when baked, but all varieties work for this comforting, low effort meal.

4 baking potatoes (250–300g each) olive oil 2 good handfuls (about 50g) curly kale leaves, stripped from their stems 150g mature cheddar, grated salt and black pepper Heat the oven to 190°C/Gas 5. Put the potatoes in a baking dish and prick them a few times with a sharp knife. Rub the skins all over with a little olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt.

Bake for 1–1½ hours, depending on size, until the insides are tender and the outsides crisp.

Meanwhile, boil the kale for 4 minutes in salted water. Refresh in cold water, drain well, chop and

set aside.

When the potatoes are ready, remove them from the oven and leave until just cool enough to handle.

Slice off the tops (serve them with the potatoes), and use a teaspoon to scoop out most of the insides, being careful not to break the skin.

Put the flesh in a bowl and mash with the kale and three quarters of the cheese. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Spoon the mixture back into the skins, scatter over the remaining cheese and return to the oven for about 15 minutes, until the cheese is golden and bubbling.

Like this? Try out some more amazing Riverford recipes with www.riverford.co.uk/recipes

I often wonder, in the case of weird foods such as prawns (essentially sea spiders), snails (essentially well... snails) or fungus (the stuff that grows on real food to show that it’s out of date) who was the first to say to themselves “let’s go ahead and scoff that down”.

I get the same thoughts racing through my head when I think about Turkish Delight - which is a lot.

Before I began looking into the origins of Turkish Delight - I just assumed that it was made by boiling up hooves of various animals, with half being set aside for glue and the remainder being cheered up with the addition of icing sugar, pistachio nuts and rose water.

However having checked on Wikipedia [citation needed]

it turns out that Turkish Delight is even more delightful than I assumed.

Turkish Delight is traditionally made from water and flour as the binding agents sweetened with honey or molasses and flavoured with rosewater, lemon peel, or orange peel - all entirely without the aid of hooves.

The exact origin of Turkish Delight are lost in the mists of time. But according to the Hacı Bekir company, the sweets as they are known today were

developed by Hacı Bekir who moved to Istanbul from his hometown Kastamonu and opened his confectionery shop in 1777 In Arabic the treat is called Lokum, which apparently means throat comfort. So essentially, it can trace its roots back to a common ancestor shared with Tunes and Fisherman’s Friend although they have since become independent species though the separation of continents and can no longer interbreed...

The history of Turkish Delight

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www.theocelot.co.uk

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Brews and Eats Special A hop, skip and a kettle

By Claire Dukes It’s a common misconception that Swindon lacks good watering holes.

Old Town is slowly, and finally, on the rise but you can feel there is something still missing.

For those familiar with the Red Lion in Cricklade, they’ve cast their umbrella wider to broaden their brand Hop Kettle Brewing Company.

If you’re like me, this is actually quite gutting if you’re not located too near the town. Who will be the designated driver? What’s the cheapest taxi?

Given my thirst for excellent brews and something different, I’ve happily made the journey and have never been disappointed.

These beer buffs have however raised the bar, with the introduction of their second brewery Hop Kettle Swindon.

Relatively new to the scene, the working brewery popped up in Hawksworth Industrial Estate late July.

Despite the grandeur of the warehouse with four shiny fermenters, beer barrels as far as the eye can see, and to my uneducated eye what looks like a scene from a sci-fi film, the team behind this operation are incredibly humble.

And quite simply, they love beer (I mean, it’d be pretty weird if they didn’t).

Having gone in and quenched my thirst on a Saturday evening I was eager to find out more, so I met up with head brewer Tim Sherhod to chat about this exciting new venture.

Tim’s moved over from Hop Kettle Cricklade to man this unique fort, and there is much

more at work here than meets the eye.

As well as their home beers being remarkable in taste much thought has gone into the production from unique and complimentary flavours, to local artists designing the labels.

Not only do Hop Kettle brew their own beer, they are also keen on collaboration.

There’s no fear of the outside world, with their partnerships extending to the likes of London.

Tim summarises: “We like supporting local guys and being creative.

“It’s also about working with companies to make beer which compliments their food ingredients, culture and brand.”

There’s also no messing about.

The process from start to finish all takes place in same room as the bar. The transaction can be as simple as going from bottling a beer to selling it on the same day.

The brewery reminds me of micro breweries in London, tucked away under railway arches. It’s these places that are evolving the bar environment, and how people engage with the culture of the venue and company.

Hop Kettle is no exception - as well as being a bar, it’s also an experience.

In my eyes Tim seems way to happy a man to be at work on a Monday. But as it turns out, dream jobs do exist!

Clearly running in the family, Tim’s dad was quite the home brewer which got him in the game early on.

Now he runs a brewery along with Tom Gee, owner of Hop Kettle Brewing Company and the Red Lion.

Thinking this job is too good to

be true (I’m wrong of course), Tim discloses how the duo are able to get creative with their brews, with the freedom of being able to make beers they like and push the boundaries to create something new and unique.

He explains: “People are growing in their taste for beer, and we want to encourage people to try new styles.“ As a Swindonian, I am thrilled.

With summer already a distant memory winter is, dare I say, coming.

Given the innovation and creativity put into the recipes, it’s of no surprise that these guys are already thinking outside the box.

As an open space, with only a shutter separating them from the outside world I’m intrigued to know the game plan.

Tim paints me an in-the-workspicture of an outside beer garden inside, complete with parasols and heaters.

Not to get too excited but I’ve never been more excited for crap weather. I’m in!

Come spring, there’s talk of brisket and an evolving food menu, with beer festivals definitely on the cards in the foreseeable future.

Hop Kettle Swindon: Unit 4 Hawksworth Industrial Estate @HopKettleBrewingCo

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Brews and Eats Special

Ho

Cory checks on the quality of the latest artisan batch

With Christmas looming up ahead, just what do you get the person who has everything? How about a share in a distillery? Not just any distillery - but Oxford’s first ever and the one that everyone’s talking about.

The Oxford Artisan Distillery (TOAD) is offering locals the chance to own a slice of its very exciting action.

It’s about to launch a crowdfunding project and aims to raise one million pounds to finance the next phase of the business. Shares will start in units of £10 each – so ideal as birthday or Christmas gifts - and will be offered on a first come, first served basis. To register your interest please

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visit www.spiritoftoad.com/ spawn The funds raised will go towards, for instance, building a bar and restaurant to join the distillery’s Jules Verneinspired copper stills, medieval threshing barn and visitor centre in South Parks.

Tom Nicolson, TOAD’s founder, said: “An investment in TOAD is an investment in provenance and top class spirits.

We care deeply about the quality of our spirits but also about the impact of our production. We use ancient populations of rye, wheat and barley, grown exclusively and sustainably for us on farms within a 50-mile radius of Oxford. We are one of only a

tiny handful of English distillers who make our own pure spirit from grain – most others start from industrial alcohol.”

“This is a great commercial opportunity and we are looking for people who feel as passionate as we do about craftsmanship, provenance and quality to join us and share in our success.”

Launched three months ago with sales of Oxford Dry Gin and Oxford Rye Vodka, TOAD has already smashed its early business targets and is moving quickly to new products such as rye whiskey and absinthe.

For more information on the distillery, to buy a bottle or to book a tour, visit www. spiritoftoad.com

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Brews and Eats Special

Hop down to TOAD

The Oxford Artisan Distillery team with their beloved copper still

Tagore, left, and John, part of the tight-knit TOAD family

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Brews and Eats Special

A tale of two pubs The Hop Inn

There are some places that just get it right.

Places where the passion for what they do just shines through.

One of those places is The Hop Inn on Devizes Road in Swindon which is a little slice of heaven for anyone who celebrates real ale.

Oh, and pizza.

You can’t forget their pizza. The handmade pizzas that are seen as the best in Swindon and probably Wiltshire and probably beyond.

I would recommend the Calabrese if you fancy something with a bit of chilli spice.

Approaching their fifth birthday fast, they are now established as one of the premier real ale free houses in the area.

Apart from their “house” bitter

(Hop Inn Ale from Ramsbury Brewery) they change beers every barrel. They do repeat beers but not very often.

There are thousands of beers out there for them to choose from so the punters regard The Hop as an ongoing beer festival where you can try a different beer on every visit. You don’t get that in a

Greene King do you?

Add to that a great selection of lagers, imported beers, ciders, wines, quality spirits and their very special hand-made pizzas you have a great little venue to come and enjoy a convivial get together.

The pub is the brainchild of Jason and Karen Putt, who after 30 years in sales and nursing respectively wanted to open something that didn’t just offer more the same, same old.

They wanted a place that offered something different not just mass produced pap that is brewed today and sold tomorrow.

In the opinion of us humble lot at The Ocelot, they’ve definitely got it right. www.hopinnswindon.co.uk

The Tuppenny One of Old Towns not-so-hidden special little gems, occupying what for years was hair salon Talk of the Town is The Tuppenny on Devizes Road.

Part craft drinks bar, part social space and about to celebrate its first birthday, its mix of relaxing atmosphere, quality drinks, board games, live music and quizzes are making it a must visit stop off.

But what makes it special?

For starters, it is the only bar in Swindon that serves such a huge range of draught craft brews from independent breweries – you won’t find any mainstream “big beer” on their amazing two-pence covered bar.

Alongside a couple of house brews from locals Renegade you

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should expect to find a guest lager and pale ale plus a porter or stout. Recent treasures have included beers from cult breweries Wiper & True, Lost & Grounded, Wild Beer Co. and Tiny Rebel.

Cider is from Cidersmiths and a couple of hand pumps feature the best traditional cask ales from West Berkshire Brewery.

In the well-stocked fridges, more magic is contained with loads of canned and bottled beer and cider, including some brutal IPA’s from Stone Berlin and Flying Dog alongside more civilised fare from the likes of Big Hug, Tailgate and Bristol Beer Factory, a range normally found in the bars of London or Bristol. It is not just about beer of course, they serve great teas and coffee,

sandwiches and charcuterie, or you can enjoy some great wines.

Then there is the large selection of spirits from independent producers including an incredible gin selection and a cocktail list featuring classic cocktails including martini’s and mules The inside is a rather unique, cosy and classy space featuring re-purposed and up-cycled furniture, quirky decor, a lot of board-games and some great reading material.

Entertainment is held regularly and features the best in original grassroots and underground live music as well as a monthly music quiz (the most un-serious in town!) as well as a range of other arts events, brewery talks and taptakeovers. www.thetuppenny.com

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Theatre list Sunday October 1

7:30pm - Corn Exchange, Newbury

THEATRE: Shackleton 11:00am - Trowbridge Town Hall

THEATRE: In Our Hands 7:30pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot

FAMILY EVENT: Owl and the Pussycat Times vary- Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot

Wed October 11 to Sat October 14

COMEDY: Jimmy Carr 8:00pm - New Theatre, Oxford Monday October 2 COMEDY: Steve Bugeja 7:30pm - Oxford Playhouse, Oxford THEATRE: Loot 7:30pm - Watermill Theatre, Newbury Wednesday October 4 THEATRE: Growth 8:00pm - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford Thursday October 5 THEATRE: A Dolls House 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Rd Thurs October 5 to Fri October 6 THEATRE: Tipping Point 7:30pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot THEATRE: Education Education Education 8:00pm - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford Thurs October 5 to Sat October 7 THEATRE: Private Lives 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon SN1 1QN Friday October 6 THEATRE: Effie’s Burning 7:15pm - Salisbury Arts Centre THEATRE: Sherlock 7:30pm - Trowbridge Town Hall THEATRE: You Forgot the Mince 7:30pm - Shoebox Theatre, Swindon COMEDY: Jimmy Carr 8:00pm - Oasis Leisure Centre, Swindon COMEDY: Rob Brydon 8:00pm - New Theatre, Oxford Saturday October 7 THEATRE: You Forgot the Mince 7:30pm - Shoebox Theatre, Swindon THEATRE: Thinking Drinkers 8:00pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot COMEDY: Tom Allen: Absolutley 8:00pm - Neeld Hall, Chippenham

THEATRE: People Places and Things Times vary - Oxford Playhouse, Oxford Thursday October 12 THEATRE: Me Darcy Looses the Plot 7:45pm - Corn Exchange, Newbury Saturday October 14 FAMILY/THEATRE: Much Ado about Puffin Times vary - Shoebox Theatre, Swindon ENTERTAINMENT: Paul Zerdin 8:00pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon SN1 1QN COMEDY: The Thinking Drinkers 8:00pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Rd Sunday October 15 FAMILY: Goblins Peter and the Wolf 2:00pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot COMEDY: Sofie Hagen 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Rd Tuesday October 17 THEATRE: Testosterone 8:00pm - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford Wed October 18 to Sun October 22 MUSICAL: Salos - Legally Blonde Times vary - Wyvern Theatre, Swindon Thursday October 19 COMEDY: Kerry Godliman: Stick or Twist 8:00pm - Neeld Hall Chippenham Friday October 20 THEATRE: Antigone 7:30pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot COMEDY: Jongleurs 8:00pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Rd Saturday October 21 FAMILY: Plain Bob 10:30am - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford FAMILY: A Strange New Space 2:00pm - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford COMEDY: Murder she didn’t write 7:00pm - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford

FAMILY: Michael Morpurgo’s King Arthur 2:00pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot Tuesday October 24 THEATRE/FAMILY: The Three Musketeers 2:30pm - Neeld Hall, Chippenham MUSICAL: Son of a Preacher Man 7:30pm - New Theatre, Oxford Tues October 24 to Sat October 28 THEATRE: Rita Sue and Bob Too Times vary - Oxford Playhouse, Oxford Wednesday October 25 COMEDY: Paul Chowdhry 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon SN1 1QN COMEDY: Paul Chowdhry 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon SN1 1QN THEATRE: Under Milk Wood 7:30pm - Watermill Theatre, Newbury Friday October 27 FAMILY: Sid’s Show 2:00pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon SN1 1QN THEATRE: The Way I Look 7:30pm - Shoebox Theatre, Swindon COMEDY/FAMILY: Sing a Long Rocky Horror 7:30pm - Neeld Hall, Chippenham COMEDY: Steve Bugeja 8:00pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Rd Saturday October 28 FAMILY: Little Red Riding Hood 11:00am - Watermill Theatre, Newbury THEATRE: Sherlock Holmes and the Crimson Cobbles 7:30pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot COMEDY: Nick Helm 8:00pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Rd THEATRE: The Secret Keeper 8:00pm - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford Sunday October 29 THEATRE: Songs that won the War 2:00pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon SN1 1QN COMEDY: Joel Dommett 8:00pm - New Theatre, Oxford Mon October 30 to Tues October 31

Sunday October 8

THEATRE: Loot 7:30pm - Watermill Theatre, Newbury

THEATRE: Driving Miss Daisy 7:30pm - Oxford Playhouse, Oxford

COMEDY: Nina Conti : In Your Face 8:00pm - New Theatre, Oxford

Sunday October 22

Tuesday October 31

Monday October 9

MUSIC/FAMILY: Musicians of Bremen 2:00pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot

THEATRE: My Beautiful Black Dog 8:00pm - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford

Monday October 23

THEATRE: Not About Heroes 7:30pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didco THEATRE: Under Milk Wood 7:30pm - Watermill Theatre, Newbury

Wednesday October 11 THEATRE: RSC Live: Coriolanus

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FAMILY: The Night Pirates 12:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon SN1 1QN

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Theatre news

A combination of cinema, theatre and literature The Devil’s Violin announce their new production, Stolen, at the North Wall Arts Centre October 13.

The ensemble will take you on an epic journey, through a dreamlike land where you will encounter a king turned to stone, an old woman living in the claw of a giant cockerel and a glass man filled with wasps.

The Times said: “A scintillating combination of music, sound and story.”

Daniel Morden’s haunting tale is interwoven with the hypnotic string accompaniment of Sarah Moody and Oliver Wilson-Dickson.

The essence of all cinema, theatre and literature is a gripping tale well told. By weaving traditional stories into an epic narrative the Devil’s Violin return us to that essence.

Stolen is a tale of lost loves, bravery, and above all else, hope.

Crack Magazine added: “One of the most singularly captivating and compelling live acts you could ever wish to be trapped in a dark room with.”

The production is generously supported by the Arts Council England Lottery Fund and the Arts Council of Wales.

For futher information and to purchase tickets visit: www.thenorthwall.com

Prime opportunity

Swindon’s cultural gems are often hidden from view, but its only professional theatre company is now opening its doors with free and subsidised opportunities for young actors, writers and technicians to join its weekly workshops and productions.

Prime Theatre, previously known as Sixth Sense Theatre for Young People, is Arts Council supported and based at the Wyvern Theatre. Prime is currently celebrating 30 years of awardwinning work in schools and communities and has plenty of exciting opportunities for children and young people.

Regular activities at the Wyvern explore acting and performance.

From script work to devising; puppetry to circus; improvisation to full scale productions; there is something for everyone.

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The company also runs groups who specialise in playwriting and stage technology, giving Swindon’s young people the opportunity to work with theatre professionals from all different disciplines.

Unlike many youth theatres Prime is open to everyone, no audition necessary and a grant fund welcomes those who wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford the already cheap membership fees.

Members of Prime Youth Theatre also work alongside famous professionals including Sherlock and Dr Who star Mark Gatiss who appeared in one of their recent productions, as well as Horrible Histories creator Terry Deary who writes regularly for the company.

Prime is also welcoming a new Associate Director, Emma Barr.

Emma is a Canadian Drama lead and director who has just moved to Swindon after working in London and studying at the prestigious Royal Central School of Speech and Drama.

“I’m very excited to get to know Swindon through its young people.

“Anyone joining us in youth theatre can expect to develop confidence and communication.” said Emma Barr.

Prime Youth Theatre makes several shows a year and often works with the writing group to develop scripts.

Members also enjoy regular sharings, theatre trips and a fun social environment to make new friends while gaining new skills.

For more information and how to join, visit www.primetheatre. co.uk or call 01793 614864

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Darkroom Espresso

Darkroom’s more than espresso

By Claire Dukes Swindon places most people in a bit of a conundrum when it comes to making plans.

Where shall we go? What should we do?

The usual outcome is that there’s nothing interesting going on here, and honestly I used to think the same.

In my eyes, this is simply not the case anymore and I found some guys who happen to agree.

Charlie: an anti-organising event’s organiser.

Will: owner of Darkroom Espresso.

It seems unlikely that such a duo would come to collaborate but as Darkroom has come to prove, it’s become somewhat of a safe haven for Swindon’s artsy types like Charlie.

I know I know ‘artsy’, this must be some sort of pretentious collective that drink coffee and delve into philosophical concepts which later go on to inspire some weird creative material.

But, that’s not true either. They’re not pretentious.

They’re the guys that want to do something and do it, instead of bailing to Bristol or Bath for the night.

So when you combine a guy who hates promoting with a guy who owns a coffee shop the result becomes a series of events which combine experimental music, art and poetry.

Charlie explains that because of the vibe Darkroom creates, it draws in artists who then begin to merge and work together.

The duo’s next upcoming venture is September 30 for ‘Damn Good Covfefe’ from 7pm which has drawn in a range of artists like Harpoon, Torso? and Lucia Sellars.

As for Will, he’s happy to open his café to allow it to become a home for outsider musicians and artists who struggle to get a space.

He says it’s his apathy and Charlie’s love of music that makes it work so well - and I’m pretty sure he’s being serious.

Their next planned event falls on Halloween (on the actual Tuesday). The theme’s a working title, so for now it’s a costume party with a jazz band in the pipeline.

The motives and intentions behind this endeavour are considerably modest. It sort of echoes The Bohemian Balcony project, but on a smaller scale.

Nonetheless it works with the same artisan concept as The Bohemian Balcony, by bringing together innovative and like-minded people who want to open up Swindon to the arts.

Expanding on Darkroom’s enterprises, the cafe has also teamed up with Swindon 105.5’s James Osborn.

It’s a weekly podcast which encapsulates a fun, old school radio style with both music and a show host engaging with listeners.

The next stage is to start allocating some interviews, as well as general guests, to have a chat over coffee. Again it’s about opening the barrier which demonstrates how much is actually going on in Swindon, and probably talking complete balls at times.

If you’re getting curious you will find Darkroom Espresso, and all it has to offer, on 11 Faringdon Road Swindon SN1 5AR / @darkroomSN1

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The Fright of The Ocelot Pennywise auditioning for the music video for Nena’s 1989 hit 99 Red Balloons

The Ocelot Fright Night We love things that go bump in the night here at The Ocelot. It’s usually one of us falling out of bed or those friendly neighbourhood burglars but every year as Halloween approaches it does tend to be an assorted motley crew of ghoulies and ghosties. We’re quite used to it by now.

So, to try and make these ghoulies and ghosties keep the ruddy noise down this year, we’ve decided to put on a Hallowe’en Fright Night to try and exorcise our demons (as no-one likes fat demons).

On Thursday October 26 from 7pm we’ll be putting on a horror film night at The Vic in Swindon.

And we’ve got two of the scariest horror icons ever to come along and make your spine tingle in the form of Pennywise The Clown and Michael Myers from the Halloween franchise.

So come along and enjoy a showing of the original John Carpenter Halloween and Stephen King’s IT (the original one - from a couple of decades ago not the new-fangled one).

The Vic in Swindon is being transformed into a 70 seater cinema for this double-bill and Halloween will kick off at 7pm followed by IT at 9pm.

You’re probably wondering how much this cinematic delight of death is going to cost you but you don’t have to wonder for too long as it’s all free.

You just have to make sure that you’re there in plenty of time so that you can grab yourself a seat and be ready to be scared out of your wits.

The Ocelot Fright Night - Thursday October 26 - The Vic, Swindon -- Halloween @ 7pm and IT @ 9pm. Free Entry

A pre-Austin Powers Mike Myers

Oi, Tim Curry, stop clowning around!

Jamie Lee Curtis hated her morning reflection

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Bradley Cowtan

We’ve got a Brad feeling about this...

Wiltshire singer songwriter Bradley Cowtan is an artist that we’re pretty damn excited about at the moment.

Back in March he played the Night of the Ocelot and went down a storm.

And now he’s just released the latest video for this track ‘The Point’ and it is ruddy brilliant.

There’s something about an artist who is willing to pour their soul into their music and Bradley manages just that but at the same giving us something that is hugely infectious for the ol’ earholes.

‘The Point’ is from from his Catfish Pt 2 EP which is out now on all digital platforms and we would recommend seeking it out and the first part of the EP whilst you’re at it which has the amazing song ‘This Ain’t Fair On Me’.

About his latest release Bradley said: “Releasing this track was extremely difficult for me because it gets a bit personal. I’m not sure if I’ll do many more songs like this in the future due to the brutal honesty into what goes on with me sometimes, I don’t know if you really want to hear that.

“Things are never what they seem and everyone fights their own battles. Maybe some of you can take something away from this, I’m not sure. Either way, I’m quite proud of this song and i’m really happy to show it to you all finally. I hope you enjoy it.”

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Bradley started performing in February 2016 and has gained interest in his music quickly through digital stores. Bradley’s influences stem from Ed Sheeran, George Ezra, Jamie Lawson etc. His raspy vocals capture the imagination of his audience and allow his music to have a unique edge.

‘Catfish, Pt. 2’ is OUT NOW on all popular digital platforms.

To find out more information visit the website at www.bradleycowtan.com

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Gig Monkey

Gig Monkey, AKA Ed Dyer, takes a rummage through the best music released by local artists. If you like the sound of something please check it out. Send your reviews to ed@secretchordrecords.com

Henry Soothill

SHORE – From the Start (EP) Much maligned Swindon, against all the odds, is starting to develop a decent swell of underground Indie bands who are developing their own sound and all seem able to combine contemporary sounds with a rose-tinted harking back to the golden days of indie past (the late 80’s to the mid 90’s for you youngsters who missed out) at will. Trailblazers Yves have been swiftly followed by the meteoric rise of Misfires, who in turn have bands like The Sulks and GETRZ hot on their heels and already playing high profile shows across the country.

Latest to burst off this production line are SHORE (it has to be written in capitals according to the band), who effortlessly blend slick pop hooks with jangly guitars, driving rythms and a rich, resonant voice, all washed over with glorious amounts of reverb. The result is well paced, accessible, very enjoyable and surprisingly well developed in terms of the songwriting.

Each of the five tracks on show here have their own identity and there are no weak fillers. This is obviously a band bursting with ideas, which at this stage of their careers and at this age is pretty damn impressive. If indie-pop is your thing then I seriously suggest giving this a spin.

Henry Soothill - Thrang (EP) Long-limbed Nevrland and Catgod guitarist Henry Soothill has stepped out from his usual band activities to pen an EP of his own material and show us all he is much more than just one of the most interesting and unique guitarists in Oxford at the moment. Nope, this boy can hold a tune and write a song the equal of any of his more lauded band mates.

Favouring a similarly spartan and hypnotic style as his various bands have made names with, this still manages to be a different entity.

Mesmerising rhythms that gracefully pulse along,

Little Red

slowed down Nile Rogers guitar licks and a flowing, smooth vocal delivery give this a serious atmospheric trip hop vibe, if trip-hop had been created during a workshop at WOMAD festival led by an electronica band. This result is unlike anything you will have heard previously, a rare achievement in these days of carbon copy musical blandness. The production and layering on this is so subtle and clever it passes you buy at first. So, grab a copy of this and listen closely, you will be swept away.

Little Red – Diamond Back (single) Oxfords fairy tale folk act continue to trickle out material from their much-anticipated new album. This latest offering is a further development of their sound, adopting a rolling beat and staccato vocals that evoke thoughts of work-gang singalongs in the deep south and provide an atmosphere in the same neighbourhood as a Tom Waites record.

The b-side is a crackingly atmospheric live recording of The Boxer from their last album. The hissing rain that can be heard in the background ends up adding a whole new dynamic and atmosphere to the recording. Beautiful stuff indeed, and as always with this band, it is the vocal interplay and three part harmonies that add the cherry to the top of the cake. ed@secretchordrecords.com

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Willie J Healey

by Tobias Baughan Oxfordshire musician Willie J Healey’s debut, People and their Dogs is an album to get excited about. It’s also an album title which gives dogs a break in the music industry, a whole area of culture in which they rarely feature.

Track 1: Subterraneans is a mellow starter, spacey swirls of guitar floating by like UFOs, building to a conclusion at frantic heights. This sets the tone as well as any for the album’s themes of suburbia, otherworldliness and desperation. A vision, though recognisable from films such as Blue Velvet and American Beauty, which is more indebted in outlook to Napolean Dynamite, in its assertion of catharsis through arts and performance.

The overall aesthetic that guides the album allows it to continue to draw in different galactic flotsam into its gravitational pull, grooving through My Room and Somewhere in Between. The latter feeling like an accurate description of where we are now hovering amidst the familiar (suburbia) and the indefinable experience of someone not happy, not sad, but ‘somewhere in between both’. There’s also some sweet Thin White Duke era Bowie sax here.

Track 4, the head bopping All Those Things (possibly the album’s closest nod to Mac Demarco) begins with the incantation to dream dream amongst its off kilter bass and keys, floating off into sharp stabs of riff and an eventual, rainy drench of cymbals. Whether the subject of this song or its protagonist is a dog is never specified.

At this point the album gets punchier on tracks Love Her, Would You Be, the Neal Unger inspired Pipedreams and Greys. A series of songs along with the two that follow which make up the album’s dramatic peak. Here we continue to flit between

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suburban alter egos and outsiders of the sort who may not usually find themselves committed to song, nor able to find much of a narrative themselves, the sort of dreamers that would be happy to sign up for a few days alien abduction if only to break up the next few weeks shifts in that temp job on the industrial estate.

This is fun to listen to while I stick my face out the window and let the wind twack my doggy chops at super high space G FORCE. Next up it’s People and Their Dogs, where jagged riffs, stoppy starty bits and breaks build up into one of the albums prominent instrumental breaks, complete with guitar solo. A worthy title track for the era of doggy day care.

Lazy Shade of Pink takes us a long way from A Whiter Shade of Pale. This number bops along nicely somewhere between the worlds of John Paul Sartre and Paul McCartney, before collapsing and rebuilding through a drum solo to another top peak. Despite having specially flown a gong in from Germany for one infamous gig this isn’t included on the album version, leading me to affectionately enquire what’s gong wrong?

Marie’s Balcony and We Should Hang feel like a friendly nod back to the Hey Big Moon EP, with their comparatively low key feel, and quieter timbres.

A friendly exit from a new band who may be the biggest to emerge from the hindquarters of Ox and Berks since the wonderful XTC. It’s a good thing however that Willie J Healey’s family were content to let their son try his hand at music. If only to give us all, dogs and humans alike, that blissful reminder of just how normal strange is, and what a wonderful thing escapism can be.

Follow me on Twitter @BaughanTobias

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Going off the rails

Derailer

By Claire Dukes I’m not sure if it’s the album art or the title itself, but Derailer doesn’t immediately scream folk trio band to me.

Even more so when checking out their Facebook, current location: Shitsville. I’m getting that from these guys this place is more of a state of mind, cause Wiltshire ain’t that bad. But I hear what they’re saying.

So granted it felt kind of odd that my first instinct was to give them a listen whilst I emptied the dish washer.

Luckily, nothing was broken but this was not without temptation.

My mood noteably changed from wanting a lovely brunch to feeling quite pissed off, like when something’s bothering you but you can’t quite put your finger on it.

Thankfully Derailer aren’t a pissed off rock band just shouting and screaming cause yeah that’s so punk and they can, there’s a lot of substance behind it all.

I’m drawn conclusively to the latter when I reach We Are Not Devine, as they lyrically elaborate: “We’re just the scum of the earth, with a human mind”.

And they’re right, our planet is being destroyed by

humans.

This track, in my eyes, comes combined with a hint of Foo Fighters’ The Pretender.

‘Delete the Elite’ quickly becomes a rational way of thinking supported by a variety of instruments like guitar, drums and a harmonica.

The band aren’t the first to switch on to such subject matter, but they’re continuing to drive the momentum behind what is wrong with today’s current social state.

The 12 track album is almost like a good, and poignant, argument. On average most of the tracks hit just under 4 minutes but within that time I’m hearing the demise of the mass media and its plague-like infection amongst society, as well as this false sense of consumer delusion.

However, Delete the Elite isn’t just a 12 track rant.

I get to Sleepwalk Into Nightmares and Creepin’ Jesus and I genuinely think they’d be really suited to the soundtrack of a road movie. The songs have got the reflexive and loner-style attributes which would compliment the genre. The loner types are often rebellious, anti-mainstream misfits and that’s what I’m gettng from Derailer. @DerailerMusic

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The Twang

The Twang come to the O2

Do you remember the heady days of 10 years ago?

The Ocelot was only a year old.

The recession hadn’t hit yet. And Brexit and Donald Trump were unimaginable.

2007 was also the year that The Twang’s debut album came out.

Back then The Twang WAS the ‘Best New Band in Britain’ (NME).

Every A&R man in the country were hot footing it up the M40 to Birmingham to snare the signatures of this band, and shows across the UK were selling out in record time.

A growing army of fans voted with their feet and added to the feeling that we are witnessing one of those rare moments in music.

With Time Out declaring that the band were ‘set to own 2007’ and

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The Sun identifying them as ‘one of 2007’s rising stars’, they were the only band to have their demo played on daytime Radio 1 prior to signing a deal with Jo Whiley joining in with the moment by declaring: ‘If you like this… (snippet of The Stone Roses) and this… (snippet of Happy Mondays) and this… (snippet of The Charlatans), then you’re going to love this!’

Little wonder that The Twang were already in the award-winning business, picking up NME’s Philip Hall Radar Award (1 March 2007) for Best Newcomers as their debut single, ‘Wide Awake’, crashed into the UK Top 20.

At the heart of it all, in the modest Magic Garden studios in Wolverhampton, The Twang were

recording their debut album, a record that set them apart from the chasing pack and made 2007 their year. With a June 4 2007 release on B-Unique, Love It When I Feel Like This, brought together the best of their work, eschewing the big studios to keep it real.

And now fast forward ten years and you can get a taste of those heady days of 2007 as The Twang go on tour playing the entire record, in full, from start to finish, for the very first time.

Sounds bloody good if you ask us.

Like a time machine but easier.

They boys will be coming to the O2 Academy in Oxford on Friday December 8 and you can pick up tickets by visiting www.02academyoxford.co.uk

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Music News

Jacko’s back - in tribute act incarnation

Jackson Live in Concert is billed as one of the most accurate and exciting tributes to the King of Pop to have ever toured UK theatres.

Presented by Sweeney Entertainments, this concert show is in its eighth year of touring and sees long-time fan and hugely talented Ben recreate the Michael Jackson experience with his stunning rendition of all his favourite songs.

Musical legend Michael Jackson will always be remembered as one of the most influential artists of all time. With a career spanning nearly five decades, he remained at the forefront of music and will continue to inspire countless people across the world for generations to come.

Ben is joined on the stage by his incredible band and dancers who work their way through all the hits. He’s got the look, the moonwalk and the voice!

His renditions of Thriller, Beat it and Billie Jean are truly sensational.

Jackson Live in Concert features all-live vocals, superb musicians and dancers, fabulous costumes, and of course all the signature dance moves associated so fondly with the undisputed King of Pop. Packed with authentic touches and flair, Jackson Live in Concert authentically captures the essence and magic of Michael Jackson live on stage.

Blissed out folk rock heading to Arlington Arts Centre Zervas and Pepper are a six-piece band centred around songwriters Paul Zervas and Kathryn Pepper.

Following critically acclaimed success from their albums, Lifebringer and Abstract Heart (Welsh Music Prize nominee), the country rock outfit will be heading to Arlington Arts Centre October 19 to debut their latest.

Mojo said: “Exquisitely harmonised, blissed out folk rock.”

Zervas and Pepper wrote most

of the songs for their new album Wilderland whilst holed up in a cabin in the Rocky Mountain of Colorado.

The sanctuary of the cabin only disturbed by thoughts of the outside world and the unfolding events inspired the vibe of the album.

Released in July 2017 and since receiving great to outstanding reviews Wilderland is being regarded as their best album yet and they might just be the next big thing in folk rock.

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Music News Gypsy jazz guitar sensation heads to the Wyvern Theatre “Remi Harris is one of the most exciting young guitarists in the Gypsy Jazz world” and, and his trio, will be heading to Swindon’s Wyvern Theatre.

Combining gypsy swing, world music and jazz The Remi Harris Trio are a wave of talent which has to be seen to be believed.

You can witness this orchestrated variety for yourself at the Wyvern on October 14.

Following last year’s performances at the legendary Montreal Jazz Festival, playing alongside Jamie Cullum at the BBC Proms and gaining critical acclaim for his second album.

2017 has already seen the Remi Harris Trio headline the Django Festival in Oslo, Norway and perform at one of

London’s finest Jazz Clubs Pizza Express, Soho.

Acoustic Guitar Magazine selected Remi, as one of the five ‘Acoustic Acts of 2017’. Concert goers can expect a night of virtuoso guitar based Gypsy Swing, infused with influences from Jazz, Blues, Rock’n’Roll, Funk and World Music, with repertoire from Django Reinhardt, Peter Green, Wes Montgomery, Jimi Hendrix and Charlie Parker to name a few.

Legendary jazz guitarist Martin Taylor MBE recently said: “Remi is one of the most exciting young guitarists in the Gypsy Jazz world”.

Jamie Cullum, BBC Radio 2, added: “incredible guitarist… I’m absolutely blown away by his talent”.

Bringing the alluring sound of Mali to Oxford - Trio Da Kali

An alluring trio head to Oxford’s St Barnabas Church, bringing authentic and wonderful sounds from the Mande culture of southern Mali.

The group come from a long line of distinguished griots (hereditary musicians), formed of voice, balafon and bass ngoni.

For one show in Oxford, the band will take to St Barnabas Church October 25.

Along with their mesmerising sound the trio also bring back life to ancient repertoires with contemporary twists, which successfully combines their heritage with modern day music.

Balafon player Lassana Diabaté is a musician of great

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subtlety and invention who has honed a virtuosic twobalafon technique to perfection, alongside bass ngoni player Mamadou Kouyaté is the eldest son of the instrument’s greatest exponent Bassekou Kouyaté.

Singer Hawa ‘Kassé Mady’ Diabate is the daughter of Mali’s greatest traditional singer, Kassé Mady Diabate, with power, range and phrasing prompting comparisons with the late queen of American gospel Mahalia Jackson.

Having just finished a project with Kronos Quartet, Trio Da Kali are gaining much deserved recognition which lead to the release of their critically record Ladilikan this month.

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Gig List Sunday October 1 Coasts - This Life Tour 7pm - The Cellar, Oxford

Six Feet Above + The George Agombar Band 8.30pm - George & Dragon, Salisbury

Monday October 9 Yak 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Leigh Chambers 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Total Recall 8.30pm - The Market Inn, Salisbury

All Welcome Night 8pm - The Lamb Inn, Devizes

Ruzz Guitars, Electric Blues Revue 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford On Avon

Metal Gods 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon

Tuesday October 10 MAE Martin – Dope 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Tom McRae 7pm - O2 Academy, Oxford

Tuesday October 3 Krawtwerk (Harold Grosskopf & Eberhard Kranemann) 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

The Brit Pop Boys 9pm - The Victoria, Swindon Ultimate Band 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Lager Stein + Supports 8pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

Charlie Sloth – The Plug Tour Powered

by VK 11pm - O2 Academy, Oxford

Singaround 8pm - The Cellar, Oxford

Friday October 7 Honey 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Wednesday October 4 The Skints – Nice Time to Tour Part 2 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford District 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Thursday October 5 The Dears 6.30pm - O2 Academy, Oxford This is Oxford Album Launch 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Plugged-in-singers 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Rock Bottoms Open Mic 8pm - The Queens Tap Tom McCartney 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Friday October 6 Gary Numan 6.30pm - O2 Academy, Oxford

Sparky’s Spontaneous Showcase and Spotlight Jam 8pm - The White House, Oxford

The Inflatables – Great ska Covers 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Electric Troubadours 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough

Friday October 13

Marina E 8.30pm - The Market Inn, Salisbury Solar Bird 8.30pm - The Avon Brewery, Salisbury Wilton Sleeper + One Way 8.30pm - George & Dragon, Salisbury Mojo 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Police Dog Hogan 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Worried About Mike 9pm - The Steam Railway, Swindon

Newbury Unplugged (open mic) 7.30pm - ACE Space

Musical Medicane FT Auntie Flo 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Dovetail Trio + Antoine Archieteuthis 8pm - The Village Pump, Trowbirdge

Solardo 11pm - O2 Academy, Oxford

OffSpin (Offspring Tribute) 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Sunday October 8 Perfect 6pm - O2 Academy, Oxford

Pyeshoppe + Blackwater Void 8.30pm - The Avon Brewery, Salisbury

Thursday October 12 Ed Gamble 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford The Hoosiers 7pm - O2 Academy, Oxford Singers 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Worried about Mike 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Ultimate Band 9pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon

Whole Lotta DC 8pm to 11.30pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney

Wednesday October 11 District 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Stop Stop 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Bands TBA 7pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

The Funkinstiens 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Wildwood Jack 8pm - The Cellar, Oxford

The Young’uns 7.30pm - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford Retro Electro 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Willie and the Bandits 6.30pm - O2 Academy, Oxford Joe Osbourne with Holly Redford Jones & Zander Sharp 7pm - The Mad Hatter, Oxford The Dead Beat Apostles 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford The Black Feathers 7.30pm - Oxford Quaker Meeting Anti Nowhere League + Borrowed Time + The Dirty Outlaws 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon Green Onions – Blues Brothers 8pm to 11.30pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Hooch 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Lewis Creaven Band 8pm to 11.30pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Reverend Black 8pm - Tap Social Movement Strange Bones 8pm - Level III, Swindon The Luke Doherty Band 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Hop Back Blues Band 8.30pm - Cosy Club, Salisbury

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Gig list Punkture + Never Surrender 8.30pm - The Wig and Quill, Salisbury Pre Fab 4 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon Gun Fighters FT Sir Spyro 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Saturday October 14 Mudslide Morris & the Revelators 7.30pm - The White House, Oxford

7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Lightgarden 8pm - The Lamb Inn, Devizes

Saturday October 21

Tuesday October 17

Ritual Union Festival 12pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Clean Cut Kid 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Alldayer 3pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

Singaround 8pm - The Cellar, Oxford

Rattlesnake Voodoo 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Haxan 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Wednesday October 18 The Big Moon 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

The Royal Blasphemy + Support 8pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

District 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Nirvana UK + Earl Jam 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Thursday October 19

Pearl Jamm 8pm - Level III, Swindon Porch Light Smoker + Bright Shadows 8pm - ACE Space, Newbury The Bucky Rage 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Hotrocks 8.30pm - Cloisters, Salisbury Humdinger 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough Innervision 8.30pm - Cosy Club, Salisbury Killer Bunny 8.30pm - The Wig and Quill, Salisbury

The Hot 8 Brass Band 7pm - O2 Academy, Oxford Lethal Bizzle 7pm - O2 Academy, Oxford Funke and the Two Tone Baby 8pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury Natt Davis 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Spotlight 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Friday October 20 The Alarm 6.30pm - O2 Academy, Oxford Abandonman – Life & Rhymes 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Flash Harry 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Pretty Little Enemy + Faux + Miss Vincent 8pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

Gary Barlow/Robbie Experience 9pm - The Steam Railway, Swindon

Sons of Liberty 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Penfold 9pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon

The Forgetting Curve 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Rorkes Drift 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon Holy Goof UK Tour 11pm - O2 Academy, Oxford Simple FT Joy Orbison 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Odstocks + Stolen Jam 8.30pm - Danny’s Bar, Salisbury In Heaven 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Sunday October 15

Pretty Little Enemy 8.30pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury

In Heaven 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Breeze 8pm to 11.30pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney

Ian Luther 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Jilted Generation 9pm - The Victoria, Swindom

Monday October 16

Kevin Lovatt (Johnny Cash Tribute) 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon

Dream Wife

Light Zeppelin

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The Warriors, Dirty Outlaws, Rebel Station 8pm - Level III, Swindon The Wurzels 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon Glass House 8.30pm - Danny’s Bar, Salisbury The Mosquitoes 8.30pm - The Five Bells, Salisbury The Strays 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough Decibelles Unplugged 9pm - The Steam Railway, Swindon Echo 9pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon Emergency Banter 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Poplar Jake & The Electric Delta Review 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon Reverend Black 9pm - The Brewery Tap, Abingdon-on-Thames Steal This Band 9.30pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Low Island & Friends 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Sunday October 22 Locarno Beat 5pm - The Bell, Wantage The Hucklebucks 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Monday October 23 Howie Payne 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford All Welcome Night 8pm - The Lamb Inn, Devizes Tuesday October 24 Skinny Molly 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Orient Express 8pm - The Cellar, Oxford

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Gig List Wednesday October 25

Break Cover 8.30pm - The Mill, Salisbury

Rotten Aces 9pm - The Rolleston, Swindon

Eve n Song 8.30pm - Huntsman Tavern, Salisbury

2 Tone All Skas 9.30pm - The Beehive, Carterton

Gina 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford

Garage Nation 11pm - O2 Academy, Oxford

Hooch 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Katchafire 11pm - O2 Academy, Oxford

Gentleman’s Dub Club 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Rawdis FT 1985 Music 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Saturday October 28

Sunday October 29

Faux Fighters 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Monthly Blues Jam 3pm to 7pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney

Nuttyness 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon

No Middle Ground 5pm - The Bell, Wantage

Guns 2 Roses 6.30pm - O2 Academy, Oxford

Straight Shooter 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Jane Weaver 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Art Theefe + Supports 7pm - The Mad Hatter, Oxford

Mamzer + Deathsex Bloodbath + Chasing Daylight 8.15pm - The Wheatsheaf, Oxford Kova Me Badd Duo 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough

District 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Thursday October 26 Miles Hunt & Erica Nockalls 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Mia & The Moon 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon Fright of the Ocelot 7pm - The Victoria, Swindon Singers 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Indie Disco 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Friday October 27

Brockley Forest 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Fara 8pm - North Wall Arts Centre, Oxford Halloween Party with Band TBA 8pm - The Winchester Gate, Salisbury Voodoo Vegas Pulls Falls on Deaf Ears 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Dirt Preachers 8pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon The Mike Hoddinott Blues All Stars 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Monday October 30

Angel up Front 9pm - The Steam Railway, Swindon

All Welcome Night 8pm - The Lamb Inn, Devizes

Damn Good Reason 9pm - The Brewery Tap, Abingdon-on-Thames

Tuesday October 31

Felix & The Funk 9pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon

Singaround 8pm - The Cellar, Oxford 7pm - O2 Academy, Oxford

Clean Cut Kid comes up against The Bully Liverpool’s peppy fuzz-pop supremos, Clean Cut Kid, have announced details of their new single and will be headlining at The Bulllingdon this month.

The four-piece are one of the most exciting breakthrough bands in the UK with an inventive take on anthemic guitar-pop, which will delight Oxford October 17.

Vitamin C, their latest single, is a bounding threeminute slice of jubilant art-pop, armed with a triumphant chorus and a gliding, undeniable groove. It has already exceeded 2 million streams.

Vitamin C is taken from Clean Cut Kid’s exhilarating debut album Felt which was released in May to rave reviews. It showcases a band full of creativity, who mix classic melodicism with a sonic adventurousness.

It was recorded at Liverpool’s Parr Street Studios with Blossoms and The Coral producer Rich Turvey, London’s Konk Studios with Arcade Fire collaborator Craig Silvey and London’s Voltaire Studios with Cam Blackwood (George Ezra, Wolf Alice).

What emerges is a contemporary indie-pop record

filled with defiant pop hooks and emotionally-charged fragility.

For further information, or to purchase tickets, click here - www.seetickets.com/event/clean-cut-kid/thebullingdon/1114182

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Agony Girl Four year old Amy has just started school and this is her first time doing Agony Girl and she doesn’t really know what the job entails. We ask her the questions and these are her answers.... honest!

Dear Amy, This is your first time doing Agony Girl and you’re only four years old. What do you think Agony Girl does for a job?

The Editor I don’t know. I think as Agony Girl you say ‘I’m Agony Girl. I like Minions. I’ve got Bob. He’s great. At the zoo today I saw some camels.”

Dear Amy, If you could have a superpower what would it be?

Would you fly? Turn people to ice? Or climb up walls like spider-man?

Derek, Abingdon It would be rainbow magic. It’s making you turn into a fairy and making rainbows. I love rainbows.

Dear Amy, I hear you’re a really good storyteller. Can you tell me a story?

Stephen, Oxford Once upon a time, there was a little superhero called dear daddy and there was a princess in a castle and a king and a queen and there were two princesses. They had a little boy that was a prince. And there were two princes. Uncle Bill and George. And then me and Annabel were princesses and it was called Uncle Billy, Rachel, Amy and Annabel Jean Hill and mummy Rachel Hill and daddy Jamie Alexander Hill and they had a picnic with a dragon at the seaside and they met a big purple scary dinosaur. Roarrrr!

Dear Amy, My husband and I have had an argument as he never tidies up after himself. Are you a tidy person that

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tidies up after yourself?

Margaret, Stratton St Margaret No. I hate doing that. I hate tidying. I tidied up when I was about two. Lovely gruff gruff.

Dear Amy, If you could have any pet in the world what would you have?

Clive, Newbury A penguin that’s called Amy. Because I want to.

Dear Amy, Are unicorns and dinosaurs real?

Jonah, Edinburgh Yes. Because they are. And unicorns have magic horns.

Dinosaurs don’t have magic teeth. Dinosaurs aren’t magic.

They just huge.

Write into Amy at editorial@theocelot.co.uk

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