Ocelot 144 june 2018 final artwork

No: 144 June 2018

Wiltshire, Oxfordshire and West Berkshire

Free

never mind the ocelot ...here’s John Lydon p30

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/ STYLE / EATS / BREWS / SCREEN / TECH 21/05/2018 17:11

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#144 For Starters

JUNE ISSUE

04 The Rant + Luke Coleman 06 Encyclopaedia Oceloticca 08 The Bassett Rivers Echo Lifestyle

10 Get Away 14 Style 16 Tech and gaming 18 TV 19 Film Brews and Eats

20 Wine not?

21 Brewery Bird 22 The history of hummus 23 Recipe 24 Dirty Bones Arts and Culture

25 The Theatre List 26 A guide to open air theatre Music

30 COVER FEATURE - John Lydon 33 Minety Festival 34 The return of the tape 36 Jordan Allen 37 Earthroom Recording Studio 38 Swindon Shuffle 39 Little Brother Eli 41 Gig Monkey 42 Music News 44 Gig List The Final Bit of the magazine

46 Agony Girl

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Virtual insanity...

The Ocelot has now reached the very edge of the times table that you get taught at school. This is our 144th issue.

That’s a lot of writing waffle and actually means that we’re 12 years old this month.

But we’re not ones to blow our own trumpet (which if you think about it is a really strange expression as why would people be going around blowing other people’s trumpets. Very unhygienic.) So although we’ve seen the magazine change beyond recognition over the past decade or so, we’re never ones to rest on our laurels (another strange expression as why would anyone want to rest on a large shrub?) and we’ve got some massive changes on the cards for later in the year. S’all good though.

Talking about changing with the times we thought we would delve into the wonderful world of virtual reality this month. The technology which is now available to have in your home has completely blown us away and opens up a new world where soon we’ll all be working from home in virtual offices communicating via virtual avatars. Eating virtual food will do wonders for my diet. You can read all about it on page 16.

Write in to me at jamie@theocelot.co.uk

Jamie Hill

Editor: Jamie Hill - jamie@theocelot.co.uk Deputy: Ben Fitzgerald - ben@theocelot.co.uk Reporter: Claire Dukes - claire@theocelot.co.uk Sales: Dave Stewart dave@theocelot.co.uk - 07872 176999 Rosy Presley rosy@positivemediagroup. press - 07717 501790 Nataley Fryer nataley@positivemedia group.press - 07769 978823 Telephone: 01793 781986 Publisher: Positive Media Group, Unit 3, Arclite House, Peatmoor, Swindon SN5 5YN Printers: Bishops, Portsmouth 21/05/2018 17:11

For Starters

A rant about moaning

By Jamie Hill

Here’s something that’s a bit hypocritical. I’m just about to embark on a rant about moaning. Ironic eh? It’s the internet’s fault. Everybody bloody moans. Facebook might as well change its name to Faceachebook as it’s a constant barrage.

You read any news story and if you look at the comments it’s every keyboard warrior and their son having a good ol’ moan underneath. It’s tiring. It’s just negative.

Here’s a couple of grammatically incorrect examples from the recent Royal wedding coverage on The Guardian’s website. Something that was meant to be a happy occasion.

(Although the removal of anybody that was homeless from the vicinity does leave a sour taste in my mouth - oh no! I’m moaning too!)

Pollyponton said: “So how long do we give them? I’m going two kids then split. She goes back to the US talk circuit, the marries the love of his life.”

Thank you for your insight Pollypanton. You obviously know a lot more than the rest of us about their relationship away from the media glare but you do need to work on your pronouns.

Gaboogle said: “Never understand these self proclaimed “royalists” who dress up in union jack suit and camp for days to see a glimpse of a group of people who give zero shit about them. Are peoples lives really that lacking that they need this “hobby”?”

Thank you Gaboogle. I’m sure all those ‘royalists’ have now realised the error of their ways. Love the name by the way. I might name my next child it.

The point is that whether you’re a royalist or a republican you’re missing a major point when you moan like this. No-one cares about your opinion. It doesn’t matter unless you’re Harry or Meghan themselves. We’re not going to be talking about Pollypanton and Gaboogle in thirty years time.

I’m also a member of the Empire Magazine Group on Facebook which talks about films. And my gosh people like to moan on it. It’s meant to be about the love of film but you can’t move for people trying to be the first to say they don’t like something. And if you’re positive and have the courage to write a glowing post about a film there’s hell to pay as you immediately get bombarded by people who feel the opposite. It just means that anything positive gets drowned out by all the negative noise.

It can’t be doing our society any good. All this moaning.

It just makes, whatever the subject, the world that tiny bit greyer and meaner. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words have the power to make you want to stick your head into a blender. It’s like the world has turned into one huge episode of Points of View.

Hopes on the horizon in Baghdad Off The Grid with Luke Coleman - Our man in Iraq From the quiet contemplation of camping in the mountains, and seething about journalistically bankrupt reporting on the BBC, to the majesty and solemnity of doing a report on Shia funeral rites from their holy (holiest) city of Najaf. And on to Turkey for a weekend wedding, to here, Baghdad’s Cofee & Book [that’s how they spell it, ed, so you’re not to have a copy editing kitten].

Cofee & Book is a cafe in downtown Baghdad, Karrada district. It was near here, almost two years ago, that ISIS committed one of its most shocking attacks. While Baghdadis enjoyed some Ramadan shopping, a suicide truck-bomb detonated, killing almost 400. Today I’m here waiting for Ahmad Saadawi, the film maker, poet and novelist, a man who will discover in six days - so you’ll know by now, or have the knowledge a quick Goggle away - if his book Frankenstein In Baghdad has won the Man Booker International Prize. I can’t compare it to the others on the shortlist, but I can tell you it’s a funny, tender, frightening and informative look at Ahmad’s home city a decade ago, when, like its monster, it was falling apart at the seams. As such, I give it five stars. I’ve just been given a five star rating too, and it won’t surprise you to learn

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that it was my debut perfect score. My taxi driver got five stars too, as we got to my destination without a common language.

And this is it - in a decade, Baghdad has gone from civil war to terrorist attacks a couple of years ago, to an election this weekend without major incident. And to me, taxiing around the city on my own, interviewing authors and playing pool in the wee small hours. There are hushed hopes of tourism making up part of the economy in the Iraq’s new chapter. Am I getting drawn back in again?

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Science Fact: Space elevators

Encyclopedia Ocelotica

by Ben Fitzgerald

Next stop... space Space is quite hard to get into - it’s actually not the distance that’s the problem; after all, our atmosphere is only 300 miles thick - actually, if you want to be realistic, the atmosphere is essentially 20 miles thick because 99 per cent of the gas is in this zone.

Happily, thanks to gravity, our wafer thin layer of gas doesn’t just drift off into space.

Given that the essential height of the atmosphere is significantly less than the distance from Swindon to say… Oxford (although you could argue that the two are worlds apart... ) you would think it would not pose that much of a challenge to get into space.

Gravity is the problem - it takes a huge amount of energy to slip the surly bonds of Earth.

This is where the idea of a space elevator is so appealing.

Inspired by the Eiffel Tower, Konstantin Tsiolkovsky came up with the concept in 1895. The idea has been a pipe dream of many scientists subsequently.

The space elevator consists of a huge cable anchored to the surface of the Earth and extending into space.

The pull of gravity on the upper end would (in theory) result in the cable being held up under tension and stationary over a single position. The structure would then allow humans and hardware to be transported from the surface of

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the Earth to the atmosphere.

So why hasn’t it yet been done?

It’s all down to materials science - a 20-mile long cable capable of withstanding extraordinary pressures - it would need to be stronger and lighter than any commonly used material that we currently have.

However super strong materials are being developed that could hold the key to unlocking fast and simple access to the upper atmosphere - these include carbon nanotubes, boron nitride nanotubes and diamond nanothreads.

In 1975, American scientist Jerome Pearson sketched out a concept, with a cable that was thickest at the orbiting end where the tension is greatest - and thinner towards the surface of the Earth.

But for his design to work, the counterweight would have to extend out to a mind boggling 89,000 miles.

With the development of carbon nanotubes in the 1990s, engineer David Smitherman realised that the high strength of these materials suddenly made the concept a possibility and put together a workshop at the Marshall Space Flight Center, inviting many scientists and engineers to discuss concepts and compile plans for an elevator to turn the concept into a reality.

And since then, a spate of serious proposals have been put forward - including one in 2014

by Google X’s Rapid Evaluation R&D team.

The Google project concluded that no one had yet manufactured a perfectly formed carbon nanotube strand longer than a metre and put the idea on hold until further developments materials science was able to produce results.

The space elevator is closer than ever, as soon as all the elements are in place, the potential commercial gains are sure to kickstart development at a rate of knots. Watch this space.

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Bassett

The

Rivers Scary news for scary times...

Echo

EXCLUSIVE: Donald Trump is a dick p49

Knife ban leads to increase in spoon murders

by Kit Chentable

GANGS of spoon-wielding youths are thought to be at the bottom of a series of murders involving different kitchen utensils of varying oval shapes.

This comes in the wake of the recent knife ban introduced in the village which led to the still ongoing chef sit-in protest at Bassett Rivers District Council offices.

So far ‘spoons’ are believed to have been behind three recent murders, one involving a man found with a silver spoon in his mouth, another with a tablespoon embedded in a man’s ear and the

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most recent one involved weighing a man down in Bassett Rivers pond with five serving spoons.

At a packed press conference Sergeant Brian Sergeant said: “We thought that the ban on knives throughout the village would stop all of this gang-related crime but now they’ve just turned to spoons.

“Bassett Rivers Police are now considering a total ban on spoons in the village but we’re worried that the protesting chefs in the council offices might worsen from a peaceful sit-in to a more violent Chef Spring like the Arab Spring but with more cooking implements.

“We are taking advice from The

Home Office on how to proceed.

“In the meantime a special taskforce has been set up by my new wife who is also a serving officer but decided to keep her maiden name by making it double barrelled. So Sergeant SergeantSargent will be heading up the investigation. Why are you all sniggering?

“This is worse than that time we found that ice cream man who had killed himself by smothering himself in hundreds and thousands.

“You lot really need to grow up. You won’t be laughing when you’re faced with a spoon-wielding maniac!”

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Shock as council realises no-one remembers indie pop duo The Ting Tings

By Livi Ngroom Having only just discovered the answer to the question posed by the Baha Men in the 2000 song ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’ during a heated debate, Bassett Rivers District Council have started a new ongoing discussion after finding out that no-one remembers 2008 indie pop sensation The Ting Tings.

Councillor Cee Nita (Lab) said: “This is a colossal waste of time.

We have wasted two days on the Baha Men debate only to find out it was the Baha Boy who actually let the dogs out in the first place. And now they want to debate the merits of a band from 2008 that nobody remembers.

“At the same time we have 30 chefs carrying out a sit-in protest in the council chamber against a knife ban and we’re debating long forgotten pop songs from ten to twenty years ago.

“We have much more important things that we should be discussing that we’ve actually been elected for like the drainage problems that have overtaken the roof of the

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council offices. The other day several workers fell through the roof during a debate and that only led to a discussion about the 1983 Weather Girls hit ‘It’s Raining Men’. I give up!”

Council leader Germane Stewart (Con), who is chairing the debate, said: “It is vitally important that we get to the bottom of the Ting Tings discussion.

“The discussion has now moved onto the name of the lead singer as no-one can remember her name. Apparently they call her ‘Bell’, they call her ‘Stacey’, they call her Jane, Mary, Jo and Lisa but that’s not her name. We just want to know what her name is but as it’s a band that no-one remembers no-one knows her name. It’s quite hard to move the discussion on when we face difficulties like this.

“But whatever happens we’ll have to finish the discussion before Wednesday as that is when the planning committee meets to discuss whether they should build this city with rock n’ roll.”

Bassett Rivers MP Bane ‘Drive-by’ Bullet’s monthly Column I iz like well excited dat we iz ‘avin’ a visit from da President of Amerika - Donald Duck a l’orange.

I iz like goin’ 2 be one of da first MPz linin’ da road to tell ‘im 2 stop ‘angin’ about wiv Kanye West. Me main geezer Jeremy Corbyn totally disses Kanye az he iz like more into grime and da work of Scepta and Stormzy and feelz dat Kanye West’z musical output is derivitive and full of lyrically flawed content.

I ‘av heard dat da Donald really likez gold and az a gold elevator and a gold everytink including golden showerz.

Dat’z probs why he likez Kanye West az he goez on about diggin’ 4 gold in one of hiz songz.

It iz weird dat all of dese world leaderz ‘av like best matez dat are musicianz. Da Donald ‘az Kanye, Jezza ‘az Stormzy and Theresa May ‘az her husband Brian, who iz like in dis band wiv da Queen.

I tink if I eva became a world leader I wuld form me own grime band. But dat won’t happen for at least anuvva couple a monthz az I iz busy at da moment tryin’ to finish da latest Far Cry game on da PS4.

I iz like gettin’ really big on da grime scene in London and even had Dizzee Rascal ovva 2 me crib of a tent in Hyde Park where I iz livin’ since I became the Labour MP 4 Bassett Riverz in da 2017 grime general election last year.

Well, I tink he wuz Dizzee Rascal az he like wuz totes bonkerz and said he wuz but me homie P Diddy Ha Ha Hum iz like sayin’ dat dis 60-year-old bearded man who smellz of wee might ‘av just drunk too much methylated spiritz and iz probably not a famous grime artist at all and is more likely 2 be a member of da Rollin Stonez az dey alwayz ‘angin’ about da park throwin’ rockz at duckz. It’z probs how dey got their name.

Anyway whether he wuz dizzee rascal or not, he thought dat me grime rappin’ wuz sick and wuz actually sick to prove it.

Respect!

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Get Away

Don’t worry I’m not preaching, but having been to a few festivals in my time writing a ‘Festival Survival Guide’ is hardly the blind leading the blind. But neither can I be completely certain that you’re in safe hands - the fact is I’m still alive and live to tell my tales.

I’ve been to six festivals - eight if you include going to Reading and Glastonbury twice each - and they’re some of the best memories I have. It depends how you define it, but essentially these long weekends were my holidays (in fairness the total sum, which I purposely always ignored, could have cost me the same amount as a trip aborad - I have no regrets).

I thought everyone was clued in on how to be festival savvy, but given my past experiences with some compañeros it appears that some people are still clueless - with the exception of people who sneak in, that’s just a whole different ball game, and I tip my hat to them. I’m not high maintenance, but there are some bare essential guidelines I do believe in.

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Boomtown 2017 Photo Credit: Paul Whitley

Festival Survival Guide

By Claire Dukes

www.theocelot.co.uk

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BOOZE

Get Away

Yeah booze at festivals is expensive. Realistically you are going to invest if it’s not time to head back to camp - but when it is, your secret stash is the one.

As always decant the bottles into plastics, or some sort of other eco-friendly substitute, otherwise you’ll lose the booze upon entry. After my first festival with friends I got into the habit of labelling my booze bottles. I am not an organised person but once you accidentally cook Super Noodles in vodka, mistaken for water, you learn a few festival life lessons - needless to say that meal did not line my stomach.

HYGIENE

I’ve never showered at a festival - in my eyes that’s a waste of valueable time when I could be watching a band, or drinking, or both.

Even if you do shower, you’re just going to get messy again. It’s a harsh reality, which if you can’t embrace I’m not entirely sure why you’ve gone to a festival...

It’s quite simple: Baby and or FemFresh wipes, a cheap toothbrush (you will most likely leave behind) roll on deodorant, dry shampoo, compact toilet paper, and hand sanitizer gel.

This may sound like a lot but it’s pretty obvious that some things you share out.

ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE

I understand why someone would go Glamping, but I’m not game for that - I think the setting up of a tent in horrible weather and wading through puddles is a kind of right of passage. It’s a festival and the closest thing to feeling primal for a lot of people - you’re gonna get muddy and smell, and at some point sit on the floor.

Glastonbury, for instance, is infamously muddy (aside from the one year I went and there was a heat wave - I got heat stroke) so you might as well embrace it.

BARE NECESSITIES

. At a festival it goes without saying that water is your best friend - may it never leave your side, or stray too far away. . Okay so fine they’re totally in fashion again, but a Bum Bag is always, aside from water, your best companion and it’s when I realised that my Mum’s ways have brushed off on me - so damn practical. . Take a disposable camera - old school, but it’s a way to save some phone battery (ps take a portable charger). . Treat a festival like a holiday, try something new, and have the best time.

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Style

Keeping it R Fit For Royalty There is no doubt that 2018 is the year of our Royals.

A Royal Wedding of the people’s favourites Harry and Meghan, a new Royal babe and the Queen’s birthday all within weeks of each other mean Royal fever has taken over.

Whether you like the Royals or not few of us turn down the chance for a bit luxury. With so many royal inspired styles for pretty much everything you too can feel like the Queen of the Shire, live like a King, or become a Prince or Princess. After all if it’s fit for royalty it’s fit for us all.

Harry & Meghan Teapot, £23.99. left, The British Royale by British Cassis, £19.99 and below Onuga, £4.jpg

Meghan & Strathberry Bag Midi Tote Bag, £495.00

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t Royal...

Style

By Fashion writer Gina Akers

Clockwise from top: Jane Taylor London - Milliner to the Royals. Premium Pimm’s No.6 Vodka Cup, £23. Royal Wedding Holywell Malvern Water, Mia Tui Megan Bag Bundle, £24.

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Tech

The Ocelot enters the realms of virtual reality

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For this month’s gaming section, team Ocelot entered worlds unbeknown to us.

Thanks to the creative and technical minds at PlayStation and Sony we were able to explore the deep blue, jail break out from ape prison, and save helpless villagers from firebreathing dragons.

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Tech

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim VR

By Jamie Hill

Crisis on the planet of the Apes

By Ben Fitzgerald

Ocean Descent

By Claire Dukes

As a kid I used to jump into my parents’ wardrobe and try and push through the coats in an effort to reach Narnia.

There was part of me that was always disappointed when I just ended up bumping into the wood at the back of the wardrobe. I‘m weird like that.

But playing Skyrim VR it was like I had suddenly been transported for real into a fantastical realm. Okay, the graphics are a bit blocky but it’s totally immersive.

Being a bit of a gamer I’ve obviously played the game before but when you’ve got a dragon flying right at you it’s totally different when you’re in VR. Your heart is in your mouth as you genuinely worry about being burnt to a crisp.

Luckily I survived to wander aimlessly around the fantastical world for another day. But I’ve got a feeling that you won’t find me much in the real world any more as I’ll probably be downing tankards with a dark elf in a cosy tavern in Northern Tamriel on most days from now on. Goodbye real life.

OK, who wouldn’t want a huge pair of chimp hands?

And to be able to use those big hairy fists to pound your chest, charge along on all fours and swing one-handed from rusty girder above the heads of your evil captives really showcases how far we have come with virtual reality.

The true test was that I was oblivious to the fact that to everyone else I was clawing thin air and whooping with sheer chimpish joy. But in my head I was there looking around me and interacting in a meaningful way with this new reality.

Sure, it’s not perfect, but playing The Planet of the Apes I did genuinely feel that I was at the cusp of the next big gaming revolution. Absolutely stunning.

Diving into the depths of the big blue sounded relatively pleasant - to begin with.

Whilst on my mission to explore a ship wreck at the bottom of the ocean, I was quite content to gradually be lowered into the depths whilst in the perimeters of my trusty cage. Everything seemed above deck. On my voyage I was submerged amongst sting rays, jelly fish, and all other wonders of the ocean - as I did a 180 turn I was quite simply taken aback by the graphics.

There were moments of wonder, and borderline claustrophobia, as my cage squeezed through various rock formations amidst sealife creatures. There were also moments of terror when a large black shadow appeared in the distance. Seconds later a Great White Shark rapidly began tearing apart the cage - I genuinely screamed. Ocean Descent is both mesmerising and thrilling.

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TV

By Claire Dukes

Your next programme to binge on Netflix: The Rain.

Things take a quick turn in this Danish post-apocalyptic drama - within the first few minutes a family are forced into an undgerground bunker due to a deadly virus discovered in the rain.

Think The Walking Dead - when it was good - in terms of the postapocalyptic scenario, and fairly linear journey to understand how to survive and acclimatize to this new way of life. In a sudden turn of events siblings Simone and Rasmus are left in the bunker for

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six years after their dad leaves to find a cure, and their mother dramatically gets caught in the rain - the scene is set quickly, but sufficiently. After their air supply is cut the two leave the confinements of the bunker into the outside, and virus-riddled, world. It’s not an original idea but the show itself is gripping in the same way that The Killling and The Bridge keep the viewer alert and on edge - suspense and enigmas are on point. The camera shots are also stunning and incredibly crisp - all very scandi-chic.

Although in Danish this shouldn’t deter potential viewing - it’s a great watch, and defintely bingeable. For those, like my colleague Ben, who aren’t Netflix savvy, the programme will automatically dub over the language in English, so hit the audio settings and amend this immediately - it’s out of sync and sounds weird.

The Rain is the antidote for disgruntled Walking Dead fans with a fresh outlook on the functions within society and projects questions about what it is to be human.

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Film

Split infinity

By Jamie Hill

There are event movies and then there are event movies.

In the history of movies no other film has had an 18 movie build up like Avengers: Infinity War. Anyone reading my film pieces before would know that I’m a big fan of what Marvel have been up to in recent years. Even their misfires like Iron Man 2 and Thor 2, have actually been pretty damn good if you didn’t compare them to their higher quality brethren.

The Marvel Universe has managed to thread all of these films together masterfully. So, although you might be watching one film about Thor you always know that this is part of a bigger universe.

The scale of what they’ve achieved in the build up is immense and it could have all so easily fallen flat on its face much like DC have done so far

with their pretty drab attempts at replicating the success. (So far only Wonder Woman has come anywhere close).

The scale is akin to the pyramids but in movie form.

On paper it looks like it could so easily just be a complete mess on a grand scale. There’s about a million main characters in it with each getting hardly any screen time. But because the build up has been so good, it actually works.

Apparently Captain America is only on the screen for about six minutes which is a really short amount of screen time for one of the original Avengers.

Each character doesn’t really need introducing as they’ve all been introduced so intelligently in the previous movies.

There’s even room for humour as at some points the jokes seem to be flying at you at such speed that you might as well be

watching Deadpool.

But although it shouldn’t work, it actually does. And this is actually due to the darkness of the film that is definitely not shied away from and the fact that most people didn’t know it was the first of a two-parter with the story being resolved next year.

It’s already being described as the Empire Strikes Back of the Marvel Universe.

At the time of writing this the film has been striding across the box office like a colossus breaking records all over the place.

And whilst we’re waiting for this storyline to get resolved in May next year we’ve got two very different Marvel movies to get our teeth into - Ant-Man and The Wasp released in August and Captain Marvel in March 2019.

Go Marvel!

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Brews and Eats A wine column by Darren Willmott

A well-appointed off license is a godsend to most of us and there’s no reason to assume that the Government feel any differently.

Just around the corner from Buckingham Palace, across Hyde Park, is Lancaster House; the home of the British Government’s wine store. Established in 1908 with the express intent of enabling our ministers to lubricate their diplomatic machinations, over the years this 60 square foot private cellar evolved into a store of very fine wine. Naturally people began to wonder what indulgent vintages the elite were getting to imbibe, fully cementing a ‘them vs. us’ mentality.

A 2010 edict by the Secretary of State demanded that a full overhaul of the process be taken ensuring that these tax-payer funded purchases became fully self-funded. In these times of austerity where “we’re all in it together” it was a welcome move.

The current Government now offers complete transparency as to how their wine cellar runs (Google ‘government hospitality’ to see the full report) and each year they produce a document giving a full run down of the

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operation. Firmly ousting the notion of a fine wine gravy-train for the elected, it makes an interesting read.

Well and truly clearing their closet out, a mass sell-off of ‘significant’ bottles was held in 2012 raising the £44k that nearly fully covered the £49k cost of the stocks required for the following year. These annual sales continue, the most recent of which ensured that officials would no longer be tucking in to such gems as Mouton Rothschild or Margaux 1990.

The cellar and ongoing purchases are now guided by a team of Masters of Wine (MWs) to ensure that quality is maintained whilst adhering to the funds available. The average purchase price of a bottle last year was £14.

Consumption year on year is down which also helps to stretch the budget. In the fiscal year 2015/16 some 3,730 bottles were drunk vs just 3,261 last year. When you weigh up that these bottles will grace the table of more than 200 diplomatic events each year, this divvies up at around 16 bottles per

engagement. Some of us may have got through as many in the recent Bank Holiday weekend.

Bottles are graded either A, B or C dependent on what their intended use will be. The top category, those listed as A1, are fit only for banquets attended by Kings and Queens.

The majority will be drinking grade C wines: Chilean Merlots and house clarets from merchant BBR for the reds and the Bacchus grape from English producer Chapel Down for the white.

Patriotically English wine now accounts for 49% of new wine purchases. There’s still a handful of exciting bottles tucked away for special occasions and the total stock is estimated to be worth something like £804k, comprising some 33k bottles. Whilst we can applaud the everyday activity we can only dream about the extremes. How about the 1970 Petrus Bordeaux (£2k a bottle), 1962 Chateau Margaux (£450) or their last magnum of the 1964 Krug Champagne (£1,900) for lunch? That’s still quite some collection. Cheers!

Read Darren’s blog at vinesight. me

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Brews and Eats

Meet the publican Brewery Bird chats to Carl Mellors

In a series of ground-breaking one-on-one interviews, Brewery Bird gets the low-down from some of Ocelotshire’s most hard-working and beer-championing licensees with a no-holes barred, full frontal approach in…..Meet The Publican!

Name: Carl Mellors

Pub: Ale House Location: Reading How long have you worked in the pub trade?: 30 Years What made you want to become a publican/licensee? I thought that I would earn more than I did as a deputy Manager!

Describe yourself using three beer style characteristics: Dry and bitter, but relatively easy-drinking.

Where do you think the future of ‘the local pub’ lies?

Hopefully, continuing to be a hub of the community and serving good beer, supporting local breweries.

Excluding this one, if you could run a pub anywhere in the world, where would it be, and why?

Tobago, because it’s a lovely place with lovely people. It would have to be a brew pub though.

Which three famous people (from history or alive today) would you most like to share a

pint with, and why?

Musician Frank Zappa, and authors Ambrose Bierce and Sir Terry Pratchett. All intelligent, witty and amusing people, it should be an entertaining evening.

What words of wisdom would you give someone thinking of running their own pub?

Don’t! But seriously, expect to work long hours and forget about earning minimum wage. That said, it can be rewarding in other ways.

If you could have a superpower; what would it be, and why?

The power of Bi-location would be good. I never seem to have enough time, so being able to be in two places at once would help.

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Brews and Eats

A history of... hummus

By Ben Fitzgerald Hummus is the undisputed king of dips - and has been consumed for thousands of years throughout the Middle East.

They say that the first taste is with the eye… and at first sight, the beige snack does not exactly call out to be eaten. If I’m being brutally honest, it has all the visual charm of a freshly deposited cat turd, and even a little sprig of parsley does little to lend it visual appeal.

However just one nibble of that garlicky savoury gloop does something to your head, you are never the same afterwards… you are always chasing the hummus dragon - not in an insane way - but you do quietly begin to realise that your every action is in some way geared towards the next savoury hit.

The word hummus derives from the Arabic word for chickpea -

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the main ingredient. These are cooked, mashed and blended with tahini (a paste made from sesame seeds) olive oil, lemon juice, garlic and salt. Simple.

Beautiful. Addictive.

Many regions around the world claim to be the place where hummus was invented, and who can blame them? And the truth is probably that people have been squashing chickpeas into a paste and chucking in whatever else they can find all over the Middle East for thousands of years.

According to written records, the chickpea was consumed in ancient Palestine, and was one of the earliest crops in Mesopotamia, as well as a common food on the streets of ancient Rome.

It is also known that the ancient Greek philosophers Plato and

Socrates made reference to the nutritional value of hummus in their writings. Which does then beg the question, why are we so late to the party?

Hummus began to make the transition from a niche hippy dippy food in the late 1980s, with upmarket supermarket Waitrose being the first British supermarket to stock it. Marks and Spencer followed suit in 1990 and today four of its top five selling dips are hummus.

Tesco, which began selling it in the late 90s, now sells over 30 million pots a year.

Hummus is high in iron and vitamin C, and has beneficial amounts of both vitamin B6 and folate. It is also a good source of protein, fibre and potassium.

It’s also incredibly convenient and has become the acceptable face of fridge based snacking.

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Brews and Eats

Parsnip, cauliflower and chickpea korma

Curries are a really good way to use up vegetables.

This mild, warming spicy curry transforms parsnips into a creamy, comforting cold-weather dinner in less than half an hour.

The Indian flavours of ginger, coconut and fresh coriander work beautifully with parsnips. Eat with boiled rice or warm naan bread, and pickle or chutney.

2 tbsp groundnut oil 1 onion, finely chopped 2 garlic cloves, very finely chopped 2.5cm piece of fresh ginger, peeled and finely grated 2 tsp medium–hot curry powder 2 tsp ground cumin 2 parsnips (about 300g), peeled and cut into 1cm chunks 400ml can coconut milk 400ml can chickpeas, drained 50g ground almonds

1 cauliflower (about 850g), cut into large florets juice of 1 lime 1 bunch fresh coriander, roughly chopped salt and black pepper Heat the oil in large heavy-bottomed pan then add the onion and fry, stirring occasionally over a medium–low heat for about 10 minutes, until soft and translucent.

Add the garlic and ginger and cook for a minute then add the curry powder, cumin and a good pinch of salt. Gently stir in the parsnips and cook for a further minute. Add the coconut milk, chickpeas and ground almonds, cover with a lid and cook at a gentle boil for 10 minutes.

Check the seasoning, adding more salt and pepper if needed. Add the cauliflower, then cover again and cook for a further 5 minutes or so, until the cauliflower is just tender. Sprinkle the lime juice over the curry and stir in the coriander. www.riverford.co.uk/recipes

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Dirty Bones Review: Dirty Bones, Oxford

By Claire Dukes

When a chef recommends a restaurant, it’s a safe assumption that it’s going to be top tier. My editor and I sauntered up to Westgate’s roof terrace on a rather glorious Saturday afternoon and headed to Dirty Bones.

From the decor and food ingredients to the cocktail recipes, everything about Dirty Bones is transparently New York-inspired.

Despite being a chain, this is not something that screams out at you when entering Dirty Bones. It could easily be an independent restaurant by the way in which the menu choices and quality holds itself up with gastro-pubs in London.

Whilst briefly waiting for our table we were invited into the cocktail bar to lounge with a drink. As the non-designated driver I went straight in with a Dirty Bastard, - Bulleit Rye whiskey, Bacardi Carta Blanca rum, fresh raspberries, lemon, maple syrup and chocolate bitters - which was a glorious balance of smooth flavours.

For our meal choices (a process which took some time to finalise) I went for Beef short rib tacos, and Jamie swiped the Flat iron steak - as sharing sides we selected the roasted cauliflower and cheesey truffle fries. Everything was

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rich, but not overbearing - the flavours were very prominent, especially with the combination of ingredients.

The pickled red onions added a pleasent sourness and crispness to the 12 hour braised beef in my tacos. But the roasted cauliflower stole the show for me - something relatively simple turned pungent after being infused with madras curry powder, capers, sultanas, keffir lime, and almonds. It was layer on layer of delicious flavours.

Jamie said: “The steak was abosolutely gorgeous and was cooked exactly how I like it - medium rare. It’s my favourite cut of steak and simply cooked to perfection a tsunami of taste sensations.

As for the roasted cauliflower, it was the best thing I have ever eaten! A lot of charring occurred in both these dishes which gave them a smokey element - all very melt in the mouth.“ Dirty Bones, Oxford: friendly service, cosy and casual dining, and superb food. The Ocelot recommends!

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Theatre List Friday June 1 MUSIC: Legend – The Music of Bob Marley 7.30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Swindon Friday June 1 to Saturday June 2 THEATRE: Castaways Times vary - Arts at the Old Fire Station, Oxford DANCE: Rumpelstiltskin Times vary - Oxford Playhouse Saturday June 2 FILM: The Box Newbury Film Festival 7.30pm - Corn Exchange COMEDY: Alfie Moore 7.30pm - Swindon Arts Centre Sunday June 3 FAMILY: Horrible Histories - More Best of Barmy Britain 1.30pm - The Neeld, Chippenham PODCAST: My Dad Wrote A Porno Live 8pm - New Theatre, Oxford Tuesday June 5 to Saturday June 9 THEATRE: For Colored Girls 7.30pm - Oxford Playhouse Thursday June 7 MUSICAL: That’ll Be The Day 7.30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Swindon COMEDY: Hardeep Singh Kohli 7.30pm - Swindon Arts Centre Friday June 8 THEATRE: Dry Room 7.30pm - Arts at the Old Fire Station, Oxford THEATRE: The Time Machine 7.30pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot

THEATRE: Dylan Thomas - Clown in the Moon 7.30pm - Swindon Arts Centre

Wednesday June 20

Monday June 11 to Saturday June 16

THEATRE: Theatre Scratch Night 7.30pm - Arts at the Old Fire Station, Oxford

THEATRE: The Play That Goes Wrong Times vary - Wyvern Theatre, Swindon THEATRE: Sherlock Holmes Times vary - Oxford Playhouse Tuesday June 12 THEATRE: No Man Ever 7.30pm - Arts at the Old Fire Station, Oxford Thursday June 14 to Saturday June 16 MUSICAL: Bad Girls The Musical 7.30pm - Arts at the Old Fire Station, Oxford Thursday June 14 TALKS: David Byrne - American Utopia Tour 7pm - New Theatre, Oxford Friday June 15 THEATRE: The Nature of Forgetting 7.30pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot Monday June 18 to Saturday June 23

THEATRE: The Unbinding 7.30pm - Oxford Playhouse

Thursday June 21 to Saturday July 21 THEATRE: Jerusalem Times vary - Watermill Theatre, Newbury Friday June 22 SPOKEN WORD: Word 6.30pm - Oxford Playhouse Friday June 22 to Saturday June 30 EVERYTHING: Offbeat Festival 2018 Times vary - Arts at the Old Fire Station, Oxford Monday June 25 to Saturday June 30 THEATRE: Whiskey Galore Times vary - Salisbury Playhouse Tuesday June 26 THEATRE: The Mill on the Floss Times vary - Corn Exchange, Newbury

THEATRE: 84 Charing Cross Road Times vary - Oxford Playhouse

THEATRE: Cilla and The Shades of the 60s 7.30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Swindon

MUSICAL: Hairspray Times vary - New Theatre, Oxford

Thursday June 28

Tuesday June 19 THEATRE: The Mill on the Floss 7.30pm - Cornerstone Arts Centre, Didcot Wednesday June 20 to Tuesday July 18 EXHIBITION: The Dambusters and Beyond Times vary - New Theatre, Oxford

THEATRE: Whitney: Queen of the Night 7.30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Swindon Friday June 29 THEATRE: Come Die With Me - Murder Mystery Dinner 7.30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Swindon COMEDY: Sarah Kendall: One-Seventeen 8pm - Swindon Arts Centre

An award-winning show from Broadway to The Watermill This Summer, Jez Butterworth’s wild, multi-award-winning play Jerusalem will be brought to life in a major revival at The Watermill Theatre in Newbury.

Directed by Lisa Blair, Jerusalem paints a defiant, alternative vision of life in the idyllic English countryside and is a perfect fit for The Watermill’s rural setting, which neighbours the county of Wiltshire where the play is set.

Inciting his own special brew of anarchy, Johnny ‘Rooster’ Byron fights against the hypocrisy of modern suburban life and embodies the spirit of England’s legendary giants of myth.

Director Lisa Blair says: “It is a great thrill to be directing Jerusalem at The Watermill. Jez Butterworth’s epic play is one of the most exciting pieces of British theatre written in the last decade. I am very excited to bring it to life at The Watermill.”

Jerusalem runs at The Watermill Theatre from June 21 to July 21. Tickets £26.50 to £15. Book at watermill.org.uk or 01635 46044.

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Open Air Theatre Guide

When all the world Watching a theatre performance in the open air is a great way to while away those long Summer days - and with a wealth of performances on offer around Ocelotshire, you are spoilt for choice. Here at the Ocelot we have rounded up the best outdoor performances and stuck them on this page for you to do a big circle around with a highlighter.

Sense and Sensibility – Thursday July 12, 7pm Venue: Arundells, Salisbury Adapted by award-winning writer Laura Turner, this exquisite and lively tale follows sisters Elinor and Marianne Dashwood as they fall in love, make mistakes and experience heartbreak for the first time.

Tickets £20: See Tickets (0871) 220 0260 or www.seetickets.com The Adventures of Doctor Dolittle – Tuesday July 17, 7.30pm Venue: Marlborough College, Marlborough Dr John Dolittle of Puddleby-onthe-Marsh starts out as a human doctor. But once he is taught by his wise old parrot Polynesia how to talk to animals, he becomes the most celebrated veterinary doctor in England. Adults £15 Email: admin@summerschool.co.uk The Importance of being Earnest

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– Friday July 20 – 7pm to 10pm Venue: Lydiard Park, Swindon It is a farcical comedy in which the protagonists maintain fictitious persona to escape burdensome social obligations.

Visit www.immersiontheatre.co.uk for more info and tickets The Adventures of Doctor Dolittle – Friday July 27 – 7pm Venue: Lacock Abbey, Chippenham. Call 0344 249 1895 Alice in Wonderland – Thursday August 30 – 7pm Venue: Lacock Abbey, Chippenham Join Alice as she stumbles into the magical world of Wonderland and meet a whole host of colourful characters. Call 0344 249 1895 Alice in Wonderland – Saturday September 1 – 4pm Venue: Neeld Community and Arts Centre, Chippenham

Take a trip down the rabbit hole with Chapterhouse Theatre Company this summer as they present the classic tale of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

Email: enquiries@chippenham. gov.uk Twelfth Night – Wednesday June 13, 7pm to 9.30pm Venue: Courts Garden, Bradford on Avon Visit www.handlebards.com to find out more. Tickets available from the Box Office 0344 249 1895 and The Courts Garden Reception 01225 782875 Romeo and Juliet - Tuesday June 26 - 7pm to 9.30pm Venue: Courts Garden, Bradford on Avon Romeo and Juliet fall in love, even though both their families hate each other.

Hilarity ensues... Well, sort of.

A “seriously silly” production of Romeo and Juliet, back by popular demand

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Open Air Theatre Guide

ld is literally a stage

Visit www.handlebards.com to find out more. Tickets available from the Box Office 0344 249 1895 and The Courts Garden Reception 01225 782875 Othello and Much Ado About Nothing 18 - 30 June.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream 2–28 July Romeo and Juliet 30 July – 11 August Venue: Oxford Castle Prison Visit: www.oxfordcastleandprison.co.uk/ events/oxford-shakespeare-festival Swallows and Amazons by Creation Theatre 9 July – 11 August 2018 Venue: Oxford University Parks Intrepid child adventurers, rival pirate gangs and unsinkable friendship take centre stage in our summer production of Swallows and Amazons, made even more special by the setting of Oxford’s beautiful University Parks.

For more information: www. creationtheatre.co.uk/whats-on/ swallows-and-amazons

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John Lydon Claire Dukes talks with former Sex Pistols frontman John Lydon about butter, Mick Jagger and PiL’s 40th anniversary tour

With Public Image Ltd heading out on tour, for what will be celebrating 40 years of the post-punk band’s iconic career, I had a chat with John Lydon AKA Johnny Rotten.

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John Lydon It’s quite something to hear that famous roaring voice come bellowing down the phone.

Currently residing at home on America’s West Coast I was glad that Lydon hadn’t lost the British accent. He said: “You can’t lose your accent, that would be fake wouldn’t it. You are what you - it’s ingrained in you!

“You know what, British comedians are particularly bad at that - when they get big and move to America, and then they get that American inflexion. It’s cringey!”

To be honest it was strange to think of this British staple out in America, but he’s taken to it with ease and even has a scuba diving license. I had to admit that this was something I could not picture.

Asking about the move overseas he explained “It became haphazard because we couldn’t get any concerts in Britain. A wall of prejudice had been built against me [laughs]! But I’m a traveller by nature - I have three passports and hope to have more!”

John Lydon and PiL’s image notoriously precede them, and it’s no coincidence that the majority of their music and lyrics challenge social perceptions. Lydon weighed in on the exchange between Sex Pistols and PiL: “For too many years with the animosity the way it was, it just didn’t work.

You write better music from a friendly perspective. You reach a point where the tension is too unbearable, and you feel like you’re cheating people by fraudulent friendships – if you feel it’s not working get out.”

Speaking of reputations, it came as quite a shock for many people seeing this punk icon turn Countrylife Butter advocate - not very punk, right? Lydon simply explained: “We had a lack of financial support with large record labels working against

us – it was hard to keep the band stable. I realised I could buy my way out and took the option of doing our own record label.

Everybody gets paids on time, everybody’s happy!” In contrast, fighting against the man is pretty damn punk.

Lydon is still full of surprises though - half expecting to hear of raucous tales on tour he explained that it’s all early nights and catching up on sleep. “We work so hard, we travel such long journeys - days off is a party but we never ever cheat an audience!

That’s not right, that’s not proper.

“We do a great deal of talking before doing a record, what everyone’s situations are, dealing with all the current depressions, joys and emotions that are surrounding us - that goes into the details in the lyrics. We don’t go into to the studio and go ‘Oh here’s some poncy-ness – lets put a track to it’. We never do that.”

Since Lydon’s rise to fame in the 70s with the most iconic punk band to date, it’s safe to say that the music scene and attitudes within it have changed a little. Do the same rules apply for bands today?

“Here’s a lesson for you: don’t have self pity – if you do no one will ever trust you again and they’re dead right! Whining gets you nowhere! Life is full of problems and you need to use them”, he explained.

“Learn all the rules that are out there - once you’ve absorbed them it is then that you realise that rules are for fools! Only then will the world acknowledge you as a real person.

“I have a reputation as being difficult to work with – well, I hope so - and I am very proud of that.

I will not be dictated by no one [laughs]!” Given the extent of Lydon and PiL’s career, 10 studio albums later, this attitude could very well be the key to success.

Still remaining as a massive influence to bands today, I wanted to know what advise Lydon had for them. I mentioned “selling-out” and he quickly responded: “Didn’t they tell you not to talk about the Rolling Stones!” And there came that bellowing roar of laughter, with mine somewhat nervously interjected inbetween.

He continued: “No no no, I’m kidding, I have nothing but respect for Mick. He helped the Sid situation out – put lawyers forward, and I will never forget that. I’m full of adoration for him.”

I had to admit, talking about Sid Vicious, and Mick Jagger, with Johnny Rotten was one of my more surreal experiences to date.

But despite his reputation, Lydon spoke not from a place of angst, but rather a more self-effacing and humble position.

Driving forward into the present, and future, PiL are currently on tour across the UK which includes Reading’s Sub89, Tuesday June 26. Two dates that quickly came to my attention were the ones in Japan.

“I know Japan very well. It’s an intriguing culture,” he said “they’re very odd in a very interesting way. There’s a lot of them in a small space and they’ve found a way culturally not to hate each other – that’s really impressive! There’s no looting and no rioting - that we should be paying attention too. There’s something genuine in there - they have a bond with each other. We are all one DNA and must not be divided.”

It became very clear when we hung up that PiL, and Lydon, still remain a beacon for the anti-establishment, still using that rebellious punk fire that will probably see them through their upcoming tour and - hopefully tours to come. What a legend.

For tour dates visit www.pilofficial.com

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The ‘One and Only’ Chesney Hawkes is headlining Minety Festival This small festival in the heart of the Cotswolds is making a lot of noise.

Having been shortlisted last year - for its first run - in the Best New Festival category at the UK Festival Awards, Minety Festival has over 40 bands across two stages for three days.

The festival itself is run entirely by volunteers. This year the community organisation behind Minety Festival are raising money for Wiltshire Air Ambulance, Combat Stress and Naomi House & Jacksplace Hospice.

From June 29 to July 1 festival-goers can make the most of a huge line-up of live music, family-friendly entertainment, a cocktail bar, - as well as gin and prosecco bar - free camping and an array of glorious grub.

Acts for the festival include Chesney Hawkes, Bon Giovi, Neville Staple Band, The Hallows, Mike Barham, Drew Bryant, The Long Players, King Walrus, Mo’eep, and many more.

The team behind Minety Festival have also got your kids covered. Throughout the weekend the FREE Kidzone will provide inflatable slides and assault course, circus skills, bouncy castles, caving, and storytelling - to name a few.

For the full line-up, and further information, visit www.minetyfestival.co.uk

Ocelot readers get special ticket prices!

Win a free family weekend ticket to Minety Festival

Ocelot readers can use a promo code “OCELOT” to get discounted weekend tickets (£45 for an adult weekend ticket or promo code “OCELOTFAM”, making it £120 for a family weekend ticket).

Competition Question: Who headlined last year’s Minety Music Festival?

For your chance to win email your answer and contact details to jamie@theocelot.co.uk

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Tape special

It’s a total takeover of tapes

By Claire Dukes

It’s hard to believe that tape cassettes were once the lastest thing, and to be fair after vinyl they really were.

Following the emergence of CDs in the early 80s you would think that tapes would have died a death, along with vinyl - but apparently not. They’re both still around, but tapes are the contenders that still spark a debate about their presence in 2018. Just another hipster fad?

Why go backwards to something analogue with the relentless amount of streaming services now available?

Two tape labels working in Wiltshire and Oxford are finding that there is still a market for this retro format within the underground, and even commercial, music scene.

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Tape special

Beanie Tapes

Liquid Library

Oxford-based label Beanie Tapes is a collaborative venture on many fronts. It’s run by husband and wife Ben and Julia Walker, - also band members of Lo-fi-alt-pop band Candy Says - working alongside Léa Morales-Chanard who designs the tapes. Julia explained: “Beanie Tapes and Candy Says are separate, but they’re inevitably linked because both of them are just the two of us doing something we love.”

The label’s fresh on the scene but generating quick interest. She continued: “A large part of the appeal for artists and fans alike is that you get to be part of something that most people don’t understand. That’s how all underground culture works, right?”

Underground it may be, but there certainly seems to be a market for it. The whole idea behind the set up is to support local artists working in Oxford, and that tapes are affordable to release music on.

Julia continued: “It’s actually really refreshing to be able to promote other people’s music. We take care of the tape duplication, the accounting, promoting the release to press and radio, sometimes wrangling a low-budget music video.”

But why tapes? “They are affordable (to produce and to buy), collectable, customisable, cute and pocket-sized. They inhabit the space between digital music (intangible), CDs (boring) and vinyl (expensive). They are the format of choice for those who shun the mainstream.”

Swindon-based label Liquid Library is a home project with two guys taking the role of vigilantes within the music industry. Run by friends Charlie Miles and Owen Chambers the guys wanted to create something accessible for bands and musicians. Charlie explained: “It’s less of a label and more of a community project. We embrace and broadcast that we don’t really know what we’re doing, but we want to advertise the idea that you can ‘do it’ - for instance if you have a sharpie and a piece of paper you can make a poster. Simple.

We want to help people realise that things are possible - a monkey could do what we do.”

As musicians themselves the guys are familiar with the limitations and barriers working muscians can be faced with. “Sometimes it seems like there are the people who make the stuff, and people who consume it - I don’t believe that’s how it should work” Charlie said.

“It can feel like there are gatekeepers for getting to play a gig, or make a record, and I don’t think that’s right. Liquid Library is all about accessibility and people working together. I want everyone in the world to start a band!”

Liquid Library has seemingly taken the ‘anti’ approach when it comes to creating, believing that there shouldn’t be a hierarchy in the industry. As well as the label the guys also put on free gigs to encourage networking, as well as other working musicians to support each other, and if they’re unsigned realise that they can still release their music.

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Jordan Allen

Jordan Allen “smashed their set” at The Cellar, Oxford

By Claire Dukes

If you’ve heard their demos and seen them on YouTube, forget everything you know about Jordan Allen - you haven’t heard them properly until you’ve seen them live.

This is what is great about The Cellar; whilst waiting for a band to start they’re most likely already in the crowd with you. Called up for their set, the four-piece from Bolton took to the stage - nothing out of the ordinary. Then they started playing.

The songs all have an underlying ‘teenage dream’ element to them, - adolescent tales (the usual suspects) - which works really well with the band’s well-crafted indie sound. But there was nothing ‘teenage’ or ‘adolescent‘ about their gig.

From start to finish Jordan Allen gave a really polished performance which simaltaneously was executed like organised chaos - the front trio thrashed about the stage and broke the threshold between themselves and the crowd. Their immersive conduct kept all eyes up front and on them.

Leading the band was Jordan Allen himself who vocally ignited the songs with both coarse

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and playful twangs, backed by captivating and tenacious chordal riffs. Their sound and lyrics are incredibly slick, carried out with an undeniable charm and Northern swagger, but seeing them live enabled them to break into something more raw which went hand in hand with their relentless energy.

The Cellar itself wasn’t full, but the band played to the crowd as if it was a sold-out show at an O2 Academy - they fullfilled everything expected from an indie band: sweaty and bang tidy. Most impressively despite being a relatively a young band, Jordan Allen completely took control of their stage, and the audience - the lads had The Cellar in the palm of their hands - as they belted out their set list which included Helter Skelter, 110 Ways to Make Things Better, and their lastest, and catchiest, track R.O.S.I.E. By the end of their set Jordan Allen had The Cellar all riled up proving themselves to be a hard act for a lot of bands to follow.

I liked Jordan Allen when I had a listen to their music on SoundCloud, but I became a fan of theirs after seeing them perform live - they absolutely smashed their set.

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Earthworm

Earthworm Recording Studio

Jon Buckett and Evan Costello

Rob Brian, of Simple Minds, and Jon Buckett Words Claire Dukes Images Jennifer Berry

Tucked away on an industrial estate in Swindon, amongst the bustling sounds of vehicle repair shops and lorries operating around warehouse units, sits an obscurely placed creative hub - Earthworm Recording Studio.

The production studio itself has been around for 10 years - set up by owner and resident producer Jon Buckett - and works with independent, local, and international artists.

It’s a strange contrast beause the only recording studios I have ever been in are Maida Vale and now Earthworm - one and the same, just on very different scales. Granted not many studios can compare to the grandure that is Maida Vale, but Earthworm holds its own by inhabiting something very attainable - it could be that Jon and Earthworm’s freelance producer/engineer, Evan Costello, have a really relaxed demeanour (made evident as we talked all things music over a cup of tea), a palpable depth of knowledge within their fields, and share the same ideals.

“More than anything we’re here to provide support,” explained Jon, “because good records can’t be made under duress - a studio should feel like a home away from home.”

Evan added: “The world of music needs to feel connected - make it feel like it’s right - which is important for a studio. To be creative you need to feel comfortable.”

Despite the laid-back atmosphere, Earthworm as

a day-to-day business is next level. Jon said: “We wanted to build a studio without limitations to sound quality - we spent 18 months doing it up. Everything is tailored for perfect sound - everything has a purpose.” And as it turns out, so does its name.

“Earthworms spend a lot of time underground,” Jon continued, “out of sight trying to make things grow that’s the job. We’re not here to be outfront.”

It’s easy to see how musicians are made to feel comfortable at Earthworm - sat inside there’s a pleasent feeling of isolation, completely unaware of the outside world’s actitvities. A perfect place to burrow and focus. But despite its industrial-based location, the studio isn’t completely underground.

As Evan explained the studio is siutated very close to the A420 and just five minutes from the M4, which has enabled them to engage and network with bands travelling through. When working with muscians Earthworm believes it’s important to have a two-way dialogue, as well as making sure the working dynamic is compatable. Jon said: “Musicians need to be able to make an educated descision on whether or not it’s the right fit and not be afraid to ask questions, like asking a studio to show them a showreel of their work. “[Laughs] We don’t expect people to pay a bill just to walk through the door! We encourage people to get in touch, come say hi, have a chat, and have a cup of tea.”

To get in touch visit: www.earstudio.co.uk

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Swindon Shuffle

Swindon Shuffle releases full line-up

SexJazz

By Claire Dukes

Swindon Shuffle is back once again for a total takeover of the town’s pubs and music venues.

The Shuffle is one of the major players in Swindon’s cultural calendar, showcasing a vast variety of the town’s local unsigned original talent with old favourites, the up and coming, and musicians fresh on the scene.

From July 11 to July 15 bands and musicians will be invading The Tuppenny, The Victoria, The Castle, The Beehive, and Baila. As per usual Swindon Shuffle is completely free to attend, and this year is partnered up with local charity Swindon Mind to raise money and awareness towards mental health – gig-goers will be able to pledge donations at each venue.

Over 40 local artists will be performing over four days – the line-up includes SN Dubstation, The Harlers, True Strays, Tasmin Quin, Hip Route, SexJazz, Flour Babies, Moleville, The Oxymora, Canute’s Plastic Army, Matthew Bryant, Grasslands, GETRZ and many many more! On Saturday July 14 Baila will also be hosting after party DJs.

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The Harlers

Flour Babies

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Little Brother Eli

Claire Dukes checks out Little Brother Eli’s latest single Our Kind of Love Little Brother Eli (LBE) have come a long way already, and at this stage in their four-year career show no signs off stopping.

Recently the four-piece have been smashing their live gigs with a number of sets for Sofar Sounds including Oxford and Bath, as well as hitting various venues across the UK. As The Ocelot found out at a recent Gappy Tooth gig their live performances are also something to behold and a band worth heading out for – energetic and electric.

Their last track Tooth was a transitional step to introducing their new sound and proved progressive for the guys as a band. Having had a sneak preview of Our Kind of Love it was really wonderful to know that Tooth was not a stand-alone track – Our Kind of Love demonstrates how Little Brother Eli continue to evolve and excel. The song also has a strange comparability laid somewhere between The Arctic Monkeys and Maroon 5’s later material with influxes of R&B melodies. With that in mind, LBE still have their original grittiness which got them well-deserved attention when they first hit the music scene.

LBE’s lead singer Alex has always boasted a really versatile vocal range, but this song in particular really allows his voice to soar – add in the gentle harmonies combined with incredibly polished intonations of bass, guitar and drums, and you quickly realise you’re listening to a band without limits.

That being said, Our Kind of Love is also a lot of fun both lyrically and sonically. The track gradually rises in intensity, reverberating with really edgy and catchy riffs – the kind of riffs where you realise parts of your body are involuntarily moving, but you’re completely cool with it. It’s a sound which is hard not to get involved with.

Infusing twangs of psychedelic funk Our Kind of Love is very ‘new romantic’ in comparison to the band’s earlier material, but they’ve adapted to their new sound qualities with a certain finesse – their latest track really enables LBE to unleash their swagger which they bring to their live performances.

I was a little uncertain when LBE declared they’d gone in a new direction – gone were the dapper waistcoats encompassing working man chic, executed musically with a coarse and gritty garage rock finish.

And yet LBE have somehow shape-shifted, talent in tow, sauntering into nu wave territories with the same energy running in a different direction which sounds completely natural to them. It was a bold and brave move, and it’s completely paid off.

BBC Introducing’s Dave Gilyeat hailed them as the: “hardest working band in Oxfordshire…” and in my opinion, Little Brother Eli are proving to be the most dynamic – a gift that keeps on giving. I’m pretty confident that I’ve found my song for the summer.

Don’t miss the guys at Truck Festival, July 19!

Check out the track: www.littlebrothereli.com

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Gig Monkey

Gig Monkey takes a look at the month’s offerings fulfilled this potential.

Catgod – Heartbeat in My Hand EP Downbeat melancholia can be something wonderfully uplifting.

Bands like Sigur Ros, Bright Eyes,

Little Red – Draw Blood Oxford’s premier folk-noir outfit strike again with a new album that crackles and oozes with all the drama you have come to expect from them.

These songs may still be rooted in dusty old folk traditions and still have a strange, dark, gothic twist to them, but now there is a much more rounded out band feel to them, as if the three core musicians, for so long a pastoral acoustic affair, have finally grown into the new sonic coat that a full band affords them. It works beautifully and if you are a listener of Tom Waits, Elliot Smith or Nick Cave’s Murder Ballads then there is something here for you.

As with past releases, the focal point is the three-part vocals; those harmonies and trading voices as Ian, Ben and Hayley, alternate lead vocal duties. It is this constantly shifting, flowing vocal dynamic that really serves as the fundamental motivator of the songs, complementing the increased scope of the music and adding deft layers. Think the dynamism of Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue on Where The Wild Roses Grow and you are part way there.

This is one of those records that presents a new favourite song or favourite moment every time you listen, but then Little Red were always a band with huge promise and great song writing sensibilities. With Draw Blood they have

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Frightened Rabbit and Death Cab for Cutie have made inspiring sadness an artform and Catgod are a band you can certainly add to that list.

This second EP from the band benefits from the more settled nature of the line-up – the driving force of Robin Christensen-Marriot now seemingly sharing the spotlight equally with his sister Catherine, a scenario which was always the best vocal combination on their previous EP, their contrasting voices conflicting strangely with the familial connection. Robin’s smooth baritone voice is soporific, and perfectly balanced with the more soaring and diverse voice that appears from Cat. Slight she might be but her vocals have a power and drive that surprises.

Musically this is a stronger record as well, it is certainly more coherent and less schizophrenic.

Gone are the radical dynamic changes and obvious world music influences, this is a more streamlined and polished piece of floaty, sad dreampop, full of touches, flourishes and moments that suck you in and fade out the world around you.

This is a beautiful and rewarding record and something that deserves to propel Catgod into the ears of a wider audience.

Tamsin Quin – Gypsy Blood It is high time this happened. The songs of Tamsin Quin have been crying out for years to have a bit of pampering in a decent studio with a full band. So, to finally get to hear this album is a treat indeed.

The songs have always been there, as has the personality. They

just needed a wider canvas on which to flourish, and the cosy studio at Earthworm Amber and wise ears of producer Jon Buckett seem to have been the perfect environment. The band format has given them a life and freedom too (and what a band, a veritable who’s who of British Americana).

A couple of years ago Tamsin spent some time in Nashville, the home of country music, and the influence of this trip is writ large across this record. What had always seemed to be perky bluesy folk pop songs suddenly have emerged as fully fledged British Americana Country ballads.

Of course, this being Tamsin, there is always a cheeky glint in the eye and a little smile on the lips. The vocals still have the character she has always had in her voice and the lyrics are still as fun, wry and mischievous as ever.

This album and mark out this young writer and musician as one to watch, who, despite still being rough around the edges, has come on in leaps and bounds. Stunning.

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The Deep Dark Woods

Psychedelic folk freakout

The Deep Dark Woods/ Kacy and Clayton - The Bullingdon, Oxford Saskatchewan psychedelic folk duo Kacy and Clayton appear to have been awoken from a coma they quietly slipped into in 1969 – while enjoying a massive doobie and checking out Fairport Convention’s Leige and Leif and Nick Drake’s Five Leaves Left.

The pair – Clayton Linthicum on guitar and paisley shirt duties, and Kacy Anderson on vocals grew up in rural Saskatchewan (they’re second cousins) where – so the origin story goes – they were insulated from musical influences swirling around the world in the last half a century.

And while some may be a little saddened that in this alternative musical reality, the punk revolution never happened, it is not necessarily a bad thing.

The duo, backed by bearded drummer Mike Silverman and bearded bassist Ryan Boldt, had the crowd at the Bullingdon entranced.

Key to their sound was the smooth vocal harmony led by Kacy Anderson – it wasn’t technically perfect… but there is something about Kacy’s voice that I can’t get out of my head – it’s not just that her sweet honey tones are remarkable – it’s that her voice belongs so much to a specific time and place. Her phrasing owes a debt to the likes of Jefferson Airplane’s Grace Slick or Fairport’s Sandy Denny. Damn that girl can sing.

With tight tube overdriven riffs picked out on Clayton’s Gibson SG and the swinging rhythm section from Boldt and Goetez the whole effect was nothing short of mesmerising. And they were only the support act.. Well sort of.. Because here’s the thing…

They left the stage, rapturous cheering still ringing in their ears, and then after a short break, all four walked back on the stage, joined by some geezer who looked like a young Neil Young – Evan Cheadle – with a Fender Jaguar slung over his shoulder. Ryan Boldt swapped his bass for the mic, Kacy took a step back and went into rhythm guitar mode, Clayton picked up an acoustic guitar, only drummer Mike Silverman stayed put and voila, a whole new band took shape before our very eyes – The Deep Dark Woods.

And, perhaps unsurprisingly, considering they share 90 per cent of the DNA of Kacy and Clayton, psych folk was again very much on the plate – with frontman Ryan’s obsession with the 60s British folk-rock scene forming the base of the stew – seasoned with dark American gothic country and Appalachian influences to the influential music of their countrymen Neil Young and Joni Mitchell.

Their new album Yarrow reflects the band’s deepening obsession with this rich seam of folk rock, having changed all but two of the

band’s line-up that toured 2013’s Jubilee album, replacing them with buddies and friends of friends who all share similar warped interests.

And the results hit the LSD laced button on the head.

My only disappointment was that the hammond organ playing Geoff Hilhorst was not with them on this leg of the tour, not just because I’m a sucker for that swirling Leslie speaker sound but also because it turns out that he also works behind the bar of a pub frequented by my mate Dave who I used to share a house with. That Canada is such a small place.

Their set meandered through their back catalogue in a relaxed fashion, the ‘Woods’ losing themselves in improvised jams whenever the mood took them – the collective musical conversation in turn moving from quietly shimmering chords to a superheated slab of sound. I managed to catch up with Kacy and Evan in a darkened doorway on the Cowley Road while they were struggling to spark up a cigarette – where they revealed that they were shattered by their gruelling 92 date tour schedule, having endured a drive from Sweden for the British leg of their tour. They were off to grab some chips before heading back to their hotel for some badly needed sleep – they did look a little peeky, but then time travel can do that to you.

Ben Fitzgerald

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Music News Big Acts line up for Forest Live 2018

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A host of big acts are heading to Westonbirt Arboretum this month for a series of open air concerts part of the Forestry Commission’s Forest Live 2018 events.

First up, on Thursday 14 June are Dublin’s finest, The Script.

One of the world’s most popular bands, they have sold more than 29 million records. Their latest release, ‘Freedom Child’, topped the UK Official Albums Chart and scored the band their fourth UK No 1 album. This success replicates earlier outings with albums such as ‘The Script’; ‘Science and Faith’ and ‘No Sound Without Silence’ and anthemic pop/rock singles including ‘We

And taking to the stage on Friday 15 June are Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott - along with special guest Billy Bragg.

Paul Heaton, one of the UK’s most successful songwriters with some 10 million album sales under his belt, first came to public attention in the early 80s as front

Cry’; ‘The Man Who Can’t Be Moved’; ‘For The First Time’; ‘Hall Of Fame’ (featuring will.i.am) and ’Superheroes’. The Irish threepiece are also one of the biggest live acts, having sold over 1.4 million tickets across 203 headline shows.

man of Hull-based indie poppers The Housemartins. Heaton went on to form The Beautiful South with lead vocalist Jacqui Abbott. She sang many of their signature hits including ‘Rotterdam’, ‘Perfect 10’, ‘Don’t Marry Her’ and ‘Dream A Little Dream’. The Forest Live gigs

will see them play material from their albums as a duo and songs from The Beautiful South and the Housemartins.

On Saturday 16 June - BRIT nominated Paloma Faith will wow the crowds. She will be singing songs from her acclaimed album ‘The Architect’.

And Sunday June 17 George Ezra, one of the biggest selling male artists of the decade, will be performing.

His debut album Wanted On Voyage is certified 4x platinum in the UK, and was amongst the top 10 biggest selling artist albums in this country in both 2014 and 2015, reaching #1 in the Official UK Chart. In little more than 18 months Ezra went from virtual unknown to one of the international breakthrough artists of recent times: taking in a top 10 album in 10 countries For more information, log on to www.forestry.gov.uk or call the box office on 03000 680400.

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Music News

Kiefer Sutherland... yes... that one

Kiefer Sutherland’s career as a singer/songwriter has established him as a genuine talent across the globe, and he’ll be bringing his authentic, country rock growls to the UK this Summer.

After the release of his celebrated album, Down in a Hole, Sutherland’s performances sold out across North America, so don’t miss out when he heads this way. Keifer will appear at Oxford’s O2 Academy on Monday 25 June 2018. www.academymusicgroup.com/ o2academyoxford

Wishbone Ash legend at the Vic The Vic in Swindon will be hosting Martin Turner (bassist for Wishbone Ash) on Friday June 15.

Wishbone Ash was formed by West Country musicians Martin Turner and Steve Upton, who arrived in London in 1969 to embark on their musical journey. Intent on creating a musical sound that was rich in texture and melody Turner and his band will play a full performance of the classic 1974 There’s The Rub album. Tickets £12.50 - £15. www.thevicswindon.com/ event/martin-turner-exwishbone-ash

Get a dose of Dr Feelgood medicine!

Rhythm’n’blues veterans from the 70s, whose unhinged sound inspired the early punk acts, will be putting on a performance at the Bullingdon in Oxford on Friday 15 June.

Formed on Canvey Island in Essex in the early 1970s Dr. Feelgood remains a dynamic live rhythm and blues act.

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Gig list

Friday June 1

Counting Cards, Burnt out Wreck, BIGG & The Lockhearts 7pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney

Wednesday June 13

Absolute Bowie 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Carcer City 7.30pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford

Tony Christie 7pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford

Thursday June 14

Kieran Towers and Charlotte Carrivick 7.30pm - The Village Pump, Trowbridge

Open Mic and Promo Night 8pm - Half Moon, Oxford

Dog of Two Heads - Status Quo Tribute 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney The DeRellas + Street Outlaws UK 8.30pm - The Victoria, Swindon The Soul Strutters 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford Upon Avon

Plugged-in Singers’ Night 8pm - The Royal Oak, Corsham Toxic Girls 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Friday June 8

One Of Us (Tribute to Abba) 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford

Out of the Blue End of Year Show 7pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford

The Ultimate Band 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Ryan McGarvey 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

El Toro 6pm - Groves Company Inn, Swindon

Oxrox Presents Last Call & K-Lacura 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney

Saturday June 2

Rattlesnake Voodoo 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford Upon Avon

Miles Kane 7pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford OMYO 7pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford An Evening with Funky Monkey + Special Guests 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Angel Up Front 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough Syntronix 8.30pm - The Victoria, Swindon The Frequency Cowboys 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford Upon Avon Damn Good Reason 9pm - The Brewery Tap, Abingdon-on-Thame WAM (When Alcohol Matters) 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon Metal Gods 9.30pm - The Waiting Room, Swindon Old Skool Oxford Ft DJ Ratty 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Sunday June 3 James Hollingsworth 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford Upon Avon

Locarno Beat 8pm - The Mermaid, Burford

Wacky Wednesday 9pm - The Victoria, Swindon Israel Nash 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Sona Jobarteh 7pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford Limehouse 8pm - The Victoria, Swindon Friday June 15 Nick Heyward 6.30pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford Puppet Mechanic 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Nirvana Tribute with ‘Shades of Seattle’ 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Bite The Hand 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford Upon Avon Martin Turner (ex Wishbone Ash) 8.30pm - The Victoria, Swindon

The Dylegans 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Teddy White 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Gunfingers 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

The Liam/Noel Experience 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford

Saturday June 9

Dr Feel Good 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

A Band Called Malice - The Definitive Tribute to the Jam 7pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford Belladonna 8.30pm - The Crown, Lechlade The Black Dog Company 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Saturday June 16 Bull Town Boys 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough Hell Death Fury 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon Whole Lotta DC 8.30pm - The Victoria, Swindon

The Hep Cat Trio 8.30pm - The Lamb Inn, Marlborough

Missing Persians 9pm - The Brewery Tap, Abingdon-on-Thame

The Secret Police 8.30pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Rotten Aces 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Fab 208 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon In it for the Money 9pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Sunday June 10

Shepherds Pie 9pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Ed Force 9.30pm - The Waiting Room, Swindon Simple Ft Young Marco 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

The Silken Same 8pm - The Lamb Inn, Devizes

Stolen Wives 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

Wednesday June 6

Monday June 11

Don Broco 7pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford

Musical Medicane ft Dan Shake B2B Magnier All Night 9pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Monday June 18

Wacky Wednesday 9pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Tuesday June 12

Tuesday June 19

Thursday June 7

Sisters of Funk 8pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

The Subways 9pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

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Dr Feel Good 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Richard Durrant 7.30pm - Holywell Music Room, Oxford

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Graduation 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Down & Dirty 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Wednesday June 20

Runaway Boys 9pm - The Mermaid, Burford

Rob Tognoni 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Gig List

Friday June 29

Metal to the Masses Final 2018 7pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Saturday June 23

2 Tone All Ska’s 8.30pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney

Wacky Wednesday 9pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Hip Route 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon

The Doors Alive 8.30pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Fishies Graduation Party 10pm - O2 Academy, Oxford

Roddy Radiation + The Skabilly Rebels 8.30pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Blind Lemon 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Thursday June 21

No Middle Ground 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Ian Kenna 9pm - The Cross Keys, Swindon

Untitled Present Night Slugs BokBok B2B Girl Unit 11pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford

Saturday June 30

Fall From Ruin + The Wicked Jackals + Punishment Date 8.30pm - The Victoria, Swindon Friday June 22 Zodiac Reunion Party 7pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford Whitesnake UK 8pm - Fat Lil’s, Witney Invisible Pig 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford Upon Avon The Bryan Adam Experience 8.30pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Monday June 24 Pieranormal Festival - A Tribute to Pier Corona 2pm - The Bullingdon, Oxford Duenna 8.30pm - The Three Horseshoes, Bradford Upon Avon

Black Skies Burn 7pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford Semi Urban Fox + Manaking + Oakland Road 8.15pm - The Wheatsheaf, Oxford London Calling 9pm - The Victoria, Swindon

Tuesday June 25

The Soul Tones 9pm - The Queens Tap, Swindon

Kiefer Sutherland 7pm - O2 Academy 2, Oxford

Rorkes Drift Plus Support 9.30pm - The Waiting Room, Swindon

The Subways are back!

The trio have been off radar since 2016 and announced last month that they’re back out on tour you can catch them at The Bullingdon, June 19.

Since the release of their debut album in 2005, Youth for Eternity, The Subways gave us the likes of Rock & Roll Queen, I Want to Hear What You’ve Got to Say, Shake! Shake!, I Won’t Let You Down, Oh Yeah, It’s a Party and much much more!

For further information, and tickets, visit www.thesubways.net

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Agony Girl Five year old Amy has been constantly on the trampoline with her sister since the sun started coming out but she still finds time to do Agony Girl.

We ask her the questions and these are her answers.... honest!

Dear Amy, I’ve travelled all around the world. The plains of Africa, the deepest Amazon and the frozen Arctic. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why?

David, Timbuktu To a zoo because it’s a fun place. It has a play area and it has animals to look at. You can even touch a ray. Not a person called Ray but a fish ray. A stingray.

Dear Amy, I hear you’re into superheroes. Who’s your favourite? And if you were a superhero what would your power be and what would you be called?

Diana Prince, Oxford I would be called Starfire and I would have green powers and fly. She’s orange and orange hair with a little bit of yellow in and a purple and green dress and purple boots.

She comes from Amazing Supergirls planet.

Dear Amy, It’s summer now and I want to play in the garden. Is that okay?

Bel, Swindon Yes. You can play ‘it’. But not the one with the clown.

Dear Amy, We are facing imminent environmental disaster. The polar ice caps are melting. The 46

sea levels are rising and the world is slowly heating up having a massive impact on our weather systems. At some point life on this planet will become unsustainable. But, anyhoo, what’s your favourite ice cream?

Grant, Salisbury Bubblegum.

Dear Amy, I hear you’re a dab hand at cooking.

Would you be able to whip me up a quick Shepherd’s pie?

Joules, Sydney Yes. You put a little bit of potato and then put materials in the oven and butter so it doesn’t stick to the pan.

Dear Amy, I’m really worried. Over the past few years I’ve been getting in more and more debt.

Racking up credit card bills and missing mortgage payments. I’ve now got to pay back the majority of what I earn each month and can’t see a way out. Have you got any money advice?

Bjorn, Oslo Yes. You pay for homeless people so that they don’t get poor and buy things. You get some more money from a place you really love like the bank and then you sell it to other people.

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