Ocelot 149 November 2018

Lifestyle and Culture Magazine Wiltshire, Oxfordshire and West Berkshire

No: 149 November 2018

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chaney invites you to his house with a little help from bez p45

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STYLE / EATS / BREWS / SCREEN / COMMENT 22/10/2018 18:07

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#149

NOVEMBER ISSUE

For Starters

04 Michael Bosley + Luke Coleman 06 Encyclopaedia Ocelotica 08 Tattoos, booze and poos Lifestyle

11 Oxford Light Festival 12 Canadian bacon 14 Style 16 TV and Film and Gaming Brews and Eats

18 Wine not?

19 Recipe 20 History of black pudding 21 Giraffe 22 Los Gatos Arts and Culture

23 Old Fire Station 24 Stephen K Amos 26 The Month Ahead 30 Youth art revolt 30 Juliet Burton Music

35 Gig Monkey 36 You Me At Six 38 Reef 40 EP and Single reviews 42 The Vic and Levs 43 Gaz Brookfield 44 The Month Ahead The Final Bit of the magazine

46 Agony Girl

A bit of Spanish flavour As a student I spent a lot of time in Spain and I ended up living on tapas. Well tapas and cervezas.

Well, when I say living on, I mean that I used to go out drinking a lot and with every cana you would get a plate of tapas so after a good few canas you would be fully fed and I would be ready to dance the night away at La Biblioteca night club in Salamanca once again.

So for me tapas holds a special place in my heart although nowadays I’m not using them to soak up a bingeing student’s palatte but to actually enjoy the different delicacies on offer.

We are pretty spoilt for choice in Ocelotshire.

Earlier this year we reviewed Arbequina in Cowley Road, Oxford which was a wonderful experience and this month we went somewhere else which is ‘top of the tapas’, Los Gatos in Old Town, Swindon.

Like Arbequina, Los Gatos is one of those restaurants fuelled by pure passion for authentic tastes and we are all the better off for it.

Write in to me at jamie@theocelot.co.uk

Jamie Hill

Editor: Jamie Hill - jamie@theocelot.co.uk Deputy: Ben Fitzgerald - ben@theocelot.co.uk Reporter: Claire Dukes - claire@theocelot.co.uk Sales: Dave Stewart dave@theocelot.co.uk - 07872 176999 Rosy Presley rosy@positivemediagroup. press - 07717 501790 Telephone: 01793 781986 Publisher: Positive Media Group, Unit 3, Arclite House, Peatmoor, Swindon SN5 5YN Printers: Deltor, Saltash, Cornwall

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For Starters

How to stay safe online The Nerd’s Last Word with Michael Bosley The internet is basically just a big, shady gang of criminals trying to take your retirement savings and steal your garden gnomes. Despite computers having been around for some decades now, some people are still oblivious to the risks and dishing out their private data like confetti. Here’s how to not be a sucker online: Use one simple password for everything Criminals are wise to the fact that you’re likely to use multiple passwords. Besides, surely the more passwords you have, the more likely they are to be guessed, right?

Probably! Outsmart the crims by using just one password, like, maybe “password” or “password123”. Really simple to remember so you don’t have to write it down.

Don’t bother updating things It’s a pain in the arse, right? There you are browsing for tat on Amazon when a pop-up reminds you about some critical update to something or other. Clicking “ignore” will make this go away temporarily and allow you to continue with your lackadaisical browsing. You’ll definitely do it next time, so why bother doing it now?

Master your emails You’ll probably get some random emails claiming to be from your email provider asking for your username and password. They look kind of dodgy, full of spelling mistakes and they don’t actually address you by name, but they’ve got the logo and they’re using techy words like ‘server’ and ‘system’, so it must be genuine. Just give them the details they want so they stop bothering you.

Overshare on social media Everyone’s on Facebook now, so why not get yourself

an account? You can be friends with Janice from the post office and find your nephew Andrew on there as well.

Terms and conditions are boring and security settings are confusing, so just leave your account open for anyone to snoop and make sure you post regularly about your upcoming holidays and when you’ve made significant purchases of high-value goods such as new cars or televisions.

Get one of the kids to sort it out You spent most of last night around the dinner table lamenting the youth of today and moaning about “millennials”, but now you need one of them to sort your laptop out “’Cause it’s gone all slow and when I click on things I get these messages about fatal system somethingor-other, I don’t know, just have a look, you’ll probably know. Probably needs some more memory or something” You’ve installed a dozen browser toolbars riddled with spyware and a bunch of other shady pieces of software you didn’t even realise were logging your key strokes and draining your system resources. You’re past the point of no return and it would probably be safer to throw the thing into a quarry to put the thing out of its misery than try to fix it.

Fashioning a hair raising experience in Iraq Off The Grid with Luke Coleman Our man in Iraq I’m sure we all say it about our home towns.

For me, all roads usually lead to Stroud, whether it’s an old acquaintance from home popping up in Erbil, or moving in with a couple from the Five Valleys when living in Australia, only to find our common roots weeks later.

Last night in the pub, it was flipped on its head.

Sat in Stroud’s excellent Crown & Sceptre, nursing the night’s final pint, I got talking to an artist who was telling me of her recent trip to Uganda, where she painted murals in one of the informal refugee camps on

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the border with South Sudan. Uganda has lots of political tensions, but the country’s policy to those fleeing the conflict to the north has been laudable.

It seemed there were few places on earth she’d not visited – her artforaction.co.uk site is a great blog of her adventures, filled with words, photos and murals. Of course, one of her stories eventually began, “And I did some work with Syrian refugees in a camp in Iraqi Kurdistan …” We both knew the director of the project she worked alongside and shared tales of our experiences there. It seems that while many roads lead to Stroud, quite a few are getting to my second home these days, too.

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NOVEMBER 2018

FRI 2ND HALLOWEEN DOUBLE-HEADER - SHEPHERDS PIE & SHADES OF SEATTLE - 8PM-12PM £5 SAT 3RD NO MOTIVE DNB - 10PM-3AM £5 EARLYBIRD/£8 ADV/£10 OTD FRI 9TH LEV’S ALTERNATIVE CLUB NIGHT - 9PM-2AM FREE ENTRY SAT 10TH 80’S NIGHT AT LEVS - CLUB TROPICANA 9PM-3AM £5 THUR 15TH SHEER MUSIC PRESENT - TONY WRIGHT (TERRORVISION) W/JIM BLAIR - 8PM-11PM £18 ADVANCE FRI 16TH BLACK PARADE - 00’S EMO ANTHEMS - A BRAND NEW CLUB NIGHT COMES TO LEVEL 3 - 11PM-3AM (17) £4 SAT 17TH BEZ (HAPPY MONDAYS) DJ SET - BEZ IS COMING TO TOWN - 9PM-3AM (18) £10 ADVANCE/£12 OTD MON 19TH SHEER MUSIC PRESENTS - S H V P E S W/HERIOT + HOMELAND 7.30PM-11.30PM £8 ADVANCE/£10 OTD THUR 22ND COCKNEY REJECTS/CHARRED HEARTS/STREET OUTLAWS - 8PM-11PM £18.50 ADVANCE/£20 OTD FRI 23RD KISS TRIBUTE - HOTTER THAN HELL - 8.30PM-11.30PM £8 ADVANCE/£10 OTD SAT 24TH UV WHITE PARTY - 9PM-3AM £5 THUR 29TH LIMEHOUSE LIZZY - THE SPIRIT OF CELTIC ROCK ICON PHIL LYNOTT AND THIN LIZZY - 7.30PM-10.30PM £13 FRI 30TH PAUL-ROONEY ANGEL (THE URBAN VOODOO MACHINE) - 8.30PM-11.30PM £3 ADVANCE/£5 OTD

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FRI 2ND THE HEPCAT TRIO - 9PM-11.30PM SAT 3RD THE TEDDY WHITE BAND - THE LEGENDARY TEDDY WHITE - 9PM-11.30PM - FREE ENTRY FRI 9TH LIGHT ZEPPELIN - AN ACOUSTIC LED ZEPPELIN TRIBUTE 9PM-11.3OPM SAT 10TH PLUCKING DIFFERENT - UKULELE LEGENDS - 9PM-11.30PM FRI 16TH VICE VERSA - PROPER INDIE ROCK COVERS - 9PM-11.30PM - FREE ENTRY SAT 17TH HIPKISS - 9PM-11.30PM FRI 23RD BARRELHOUSE - 9PM-11.30PM - FREE ENTRY SAT 24TH AUDIO ASYLUM - FEMALE LED ROCK COVERS - 9PM-11.30PM FRI 30TH SNATCH IT BACK - PSYCHEDELIC BLUES ROCK - 9PM-11.30PM - FREE ENTRY

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Encyclopedia Ocelotica: The Colour Code Test

By Ben Fitzgerald

If you work for any length of time in a corporate office environment there’s a high chance that you will have stumbled across the Harman Personality Profile or Colour Code test.

By corporate environment I’m talking about the sort of place where everyone has to take part in enforced group ‘fun’ activities such as - Australia Day (where everyone has to adopt reductive stereotype dress codes such as wearing hats with corks) or play Human Hungry Hippos (where self respecting adults are forced to debase themselves by being wheeled about on office chairs)... The sort of place where any form of genuine fun is frowned upon - where the real game being played is one called Mind Control.

I assure you, these are real horrors that are happening behind closed doors every day.

At the heart of this dreadful culture sit personality tests which seek to reduce the entirety of something as profoundly intricate, complex, fluid and beautiful as human psychology into four types…

That’s four... shitting… types...of psychology. There are more flavours of jelly babies.

Real businesses are actually run along these lines employing this view of the human mind.

Human psychology - about which Shakespeare’s Hamlet opined: “What a piece of work is man, How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, In form and moving how express and admirable, In action how like an Angel, In apprehension how like a god, The beauty of the world, The paragon of animals.”

Human psychology - a fascinating mystery that mankind has been seeking to understand for thousands

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of years, from ancient philosophers to modern day psychotherapists. It’s a subject that has captivated our greatest artists and scientists.

But all for naught apparently - they should have listened to Dr Taylor Hartman who claims to be a psychologist (and also a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) who is the author of a hugely influential Colour Code Personality Profile which is widely used throughout the business world.

By subjecting employees to a simple 45 question test (who knew it was so simple?) a regional sales manager can confidently assess the entire motivation, emotional drivers and limitations of each individual member of his team - by labelling them either Red, Blue, White or Yellow.

So we have Reds - the power wielders. They are awash with logic, vision and determination. They are action orientated, confident and decisive. (These are clearly the best ones … and every marketing team leader who buys into this steaming horse shit will claim to be a red.

Without exception.)

Next we have Blues - who thrive on relationships and willingly sacrifice personal gain. They are perfectionists but as such they also

tend to be worriers. They are loyal and bring culture and dependency to society and home. (In other words, these are Dr Hartman’s vision for what an ideal Stepford wife might be like. Which is why, in his series of creepy instructional videos on YouTube, he introduces his wife as a blue personality) Then we meet the Whites motivated by peace, they will do anything to avoid confrontation and are devoid of ego. They are unwilling to set goals. (These are the worker drones - ideal for any call centre or other mindless work environment where they can be exploited.)

Then there are the Yellows motivated by fun, known for being spontaneous and yet self- centered.

They have lots of friends. They may have difficulties getting down to business. (in other words these are dangerous free thinkers who are not sufficiently interested in becoming employee of the week and need to be reigned in by their joyless Red overseers).

And that’s it… that is all we are… sorry ‘bout that Shakespeare, Freud, Socrates and Decartes.

Find out what type of cardboard cut out human you are at www. colorcode.com

www.theocelot.co.uk

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The beige food diet Tattoos, booze and poos by Sara Witham

Does anyone else have a child who is a strict follower of the beige food diet? Never mind vegan, gluten free and pescatarian, the beige food diet is one to behold.

It is truly embarrassing also.

When the four year old was little he would eat pretty much anything in mushed up form (unless it was epically green) unfortunately he developed a hyperactive gag reflex which resulted in him puking up most mealtimes and indeed snack times and when he cried or coughed. It’s got much better as he’s got older but the food issue still remains.

I think he associated the organic stuff like fruit, veg or anything with a colour as ‘evil puke food’ and therefore shunned it, banished forever to weird people’s plates.

He likes to keep it simple with a straight up diet of dairylea sandwiches, 50p cheese and tomato pizzas, smiley faces (I KNOW), turkey dinosaurs (YES I STILL KNOW), biscuits, crisps, ice cream

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(vanilla obvs) and chocolate (he makes an exception to the colour rule for this one).

It is such hard work, so much so that when the one year old was eating watermelon next to him the other day he actually threw up just by smelling it.

He has just started school and instead of talking to the teachers about the curriculum and how I thought he would get on at our initial meeting, I find myself quizzing them about the food and explaining that they may have experienced picky eaters before but this is on an exceptional scale. We had a long chat and decided that I would try him with ‘Pizza Friday’. When I collected him I nervously asked ‘How was the pizza babe?’ His response was, ‘I didn’t eat it Mummy’, my heart sank. ‘Why didn’t you eat it then?’ ‘Well it had bean juice on it.’

ARGH. Dairylea sandwiches everyday for the next 12 years it is then.

We had parents evening and his teacher told us that he sits on a chair away from the rest of the class at snack time so he can’t smell the fruit the other kids eat. He occasionally gags when he’s sat there too. This is probably mean but I almost want a pic, the thought cracks me up.

Going out to eat is completely pointless unless it’s MC Donald’s and I make him wait til post 10am for crisps rationing him to two packs a day as the Walkers snack habit was getting out of hand.

I’m hoping one day it will change and am thanking my lucky stars that the one year old eats pretty much everything I put in front of him. The only time he gags is when he has stuffed his gob so full of food that he can’t swallow it all. Which is quite amusing in itself.

One good thing is that with so much experience, when the puke does happen he’s a dab hand at getting it in the loo.

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Oxford Light Festival illuminates the hidden

By Jamie Hill

F

ounded in 2009, Oxford’s Christmas Light Festival has become a key date on the city’s cultural calendar.

This year the theme ‘Undiscovered Oxford ’ explores the city’s hidden highlights with installations, illuminations, performances and events over a weekend from Friday 16th to Sunday 18th November.

Festival Director Rachel Capell programmes the event with cultural partners around the city. The exciting blend of sound and light installations is sure to delight the crowds once again. She says: “The festival’s theme ‘Undiscovered Oxford’ offers the opportunity to reveal so much about the city of which we are often less aware.

“Our cultural partners in the festival are opening up their buildings and disclosing their contents in exciting and unusual ways – particularly the projections on and even in some of our most loved buildings.

The festival is a unique moment in the calendar when we can all come together and share in a fantastic array of installations and outdoor

performances, enjoying being in the crowd and discovering new things together.”

The festival is an important event for Oxford bringing international and local artists together in a weekend of celebration and fun.

Councillor Mary Clarkson , Oxford City Council Executive Board Member for Culture and City Centre said: “What I love about Oxford’s Christmas Light Festival is that it brings Oxford’s diverse communities together.

“It’s wonderful to see all of Oxford’s cultural attractions and groups come together to put on a fantastic mix of events to wow audiences from all four corners of the city.

“The range of events taking place across this year’s festival weekend is astonishing, and it really has the potential to be the best ever.”

In addition to more than 20 cultural venues opening up with special events over the weekend, the festival will feature hubs of activity at Broad Street, Gloucester Green, Bonn Square and

Oxford Castle Quarter.

Following the launch of the festival with the much-loved lantern parade featuring over 400 school pupils and community group members, Oxford residents and visitors can enjoy spectacular visual treats like Dan Fox ’s dynamic sound and light sculpture ‘Shimmer Tree’ , the breathtaking ‘Heliosphere’ from The Dream Engine that floats a dancing figure high in the air, ‘ Voice Park ’ where the collected city voices are waiting to converse, stunning giant projections from Luxmuralis adorn Oxford’s iconic buildings, a huge programmable LED cube displays specially curated artworks in Westgate Oxford and the Dancin’ Oxford performance stage thunders with the sound of dancing feet.

Wander around the city centre and you will come upon pop-up performances of music, dance and theatre, festive markets with delicious food, individual crafts and gifts plus enchanting installations in surprising places.

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A Trip to Nova Scotia Dave Stewart recently travelled all the way to Nova Scotia, Canada to discover a wealth of culture, hauntingly beautiful landscapes, sea kayaking, whales and even creepy graveyards.

Nova Scotia is a bit special. It’s literal Latin translation is New Scotland, but as you get to its captial city Halifax, an old port, you start to get a sense of its special atmosphere.

As a port it used to trade heavily with the then newly-founded American cities of Boston and New York and you can even discover a great immigration museum in the former docklands where all the new arrivals would see their first taste of the New World.

For me parts of Nova Scotia look like Cornwall, with its rugged coastlines and many beautiful lighthouse,which have become something of a local symbol. As well as the hundreds of real functioning lighthouses you see scattered about the landscape, you also see garden lanterns in the shape of mini lighthouses dotting people’s front gardens, at bars you can drink out of lighthouse-shaped tankards and salt and pepper shakers at lobster shacks are also mini lighthouses. But you’re quickly reminded you’re not in Cornwall when you also see vast pine forests just a few minutes drive inland.

The only thing more important than lighthouses is lobsters. It’s in everything, and the live tanks can be found in many local restaurants. They all have their claws taped up to stop them fighting each other in the tank. I have mixed feelings about this. Probably so do the lobsters. But man they’re tasty. Where not served whole you’ll find local lobster meat served in sandwiches, mixed in with pasta, salads,

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scattered on top of ‘poutine’ (Canada’s national dish of cheesy chips + gravy). It’s affordable and abundant here and is on everything, as opposed to the relatively expensive meat it is in other parts of the world.

Foliage in this part of the world during ‘the fall’ is amazing, as any tree-type will tell you. Everywhere we went we’d see beautiful reds, yellows-contrasted against the lush green pines.

Sea Kayaking One experience that will stay with me for a long time was sea kayaking in the Bay of Fundy. There’s a certain part of your brain, the part that was taught as a child never to go too far into the sea that starts kicking off a bit when you’re standing on a shoreline of the ocean, about to push a tiny 2-person kayak into watery oblivion. Having said all that, it was actually a lot of fun. About five boats headed out and it was great as we saw bald eagles perching, seal sightings, rocky outcrops on the shoreline that look like celebrities, you know that sort of thing. And the seas were choppy but relatively calm long enough for us to get our rhythm going, and then, well we were ready for the bloody storm, man! Except there was no need, because it turns out the Bay of Fundy is a sheltered bay renowned for its relatively calm seas.

The Graveyard Tour If that wasn’t thrilling enough, we also did a midnight graveyard tour in Annapolic Royal, the former capital of Canada, arranged by the local historical society of the picture-postcard pretty town of Lunenburg, originally settled by the Acadians (where we get the word Canadian from). The place is rich in colonial-era maritime history, and this sort of thing seemed right up our street. We met our guide at midnight, the wonderfully charismatic and

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slightly insane man who does this for a living. He quickly points out to the superstitious in our group that this isn’t a ‘boo! A ghost!’ sort of tour, saying they have enough interesting historical stories around the graveyard without having to make up any What followed was magical as we heard amazing stories about the deceased, including EG Rose Fortune, an 18th century black woman whose family escaped slavery when she was just a child, and who later became a successful local entrepreneur and, eventually, Canada’s first female police officer.

Incredibly, her direct descendent –Daurene Lewis also became Canada’s first black female mayor when she was elected in Annapolis Royal in 1984.

Whale Watching Do you know what a Zodiac is? I sure didn’t. Turns out it’s a tiny little boat that goes at high speed into the sea. There seems to be a theme developing with Nova Scotians and water. When it isn’t falling out of the sky, the locals seem determined to find new ways of immersing themselves into it. this time, it was the fastest, bumpiest little ride (the kind where you have to hold onto ropes else you could easily be tipped overboard) I’ve ever been on. At one point our captain – a small wood-stain tanned man who looked like a ventriloquist’s dummy and I wasn’t entirely convinced hadn’t escaped from a suitcase and stolen the boat from his master- said “can you believe Disney spends so much money trying to recreate this? And here we are getting it for free!” (conveniently forgetting that we’d spent $75 each for this possibly jaunt). Mind you, it was soon all worth it. About an hour into the journey, a merry school of dolphins started splashing about our boat and following us, seemingly looking for spilled fish in our wake. Or possibly trying to warn us, I’m not sure, they weren’t clear on that. And then – blimey. Humpbacks!

Massive ones! On the horizon! Splashing about like they own the place! We saw their heads, their amazing dark shadows looming under the water and then –SPLASH- out they come. I’m aware these aren’t the biggest whales of them all but trust me, they’re still bloody huge when you’re that close. It’s surreal, and beautiful, and despite all the swaying and splashing and crashing and bobbing, oddly calming.

Well done whales, good show. Thanks for having us.

Tidal Bore Rafting Basically think an amped up, proper white-knuckle version of the river rapids at Alton Towers, except occurring via an entirely natural phenomenon whereby a tide – and with it an immensely strong current- suddenly sweeps into view and crashes against the flow of what was shortly beforehand a very calm and picturesque river in Schubenacadie (my favourite town name ever), with bald eagles flying overhead and chipmunks scurrying for cover in the trees as we motored past. The bore had to be seen to be believed. It was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen – like someone suddenly turned on the wave machine. It was thrilling but you had to hold on super tight– two of the eight of us fell out during one particularly strong wave, but were quickly helped back on board by our very competent driver just to do it all over again moments later! This went on for about an hour or so I think – I lost all concept of time as it was like being on a rollercoaster-but in case you weren’t wet or muddy enough, at the end you can also go mud sliding down the bank and back into the river, at a much calmer point away from the crazy waves.

I’m telling you, if a Nova Scotian isn’t wet, or nearly drowning, or covered in mud, or eating lobster, or all of those things at once, they’re not happy. I think I’m in love.

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Hunker down for

By Fashion Writer Gina Akers

Call it Autumn, call it fall, either way with the changing season fashion is set to change too.

Time to get tactical and practical with your winter style.

The Va Va Voom Bra (£26.50) gives extra uplift whether you are looking for a party outfit boost or want to create curves with your day to day style. www.magicbodyfashion.com

Savoury porridge is now a thing and it’s happening everywhere.

Try White’s Jumbo Organic Oats (£2.10 for 750g) from Waitrose and leading supermarkets.

The Melitta Cremio (from £79.99) is meticulously designed to prepare perfect creamy and fine milk froth at the touch of a button, visit www. melitta.co.uk

Get that wide awake look with Charlotte Tilbury’s Mini Miracle Eye Wand (£29), the absolute saviour for next day after the party eyes! www.charlottetilbury.com

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If you find the duller winter months lower your mood the Be Happy set (£27.50) may be just what you need. The set features an uplifting citrus blend with Pink Grapefruit, Lemon Myrtle and Spearmint. De-Stress, Escape and Sleep Well sets are also available at www. scentered.me

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or Autumn

Protest have your Autumn/Winter wardrobe under control proving that practical doesn’t mean you have to cut back on style. For ladies the Palmer Body Warmer (£49.99) is ideal for those changeable weather days. The Promo

Hoody Noos (£49.99) can be teamed up with pretty much anything and the Roset Grey/Black/White Cardigan is super snug with cool contrasting sports luxe style stripes (£59.99), available at www. protest.eu

For guys the Protest Maverick Jacket (£69.99) is the perfect hybrid top, part jacket part sweatshirt, not quite a coat but warmer than a sweater, great for when you’re not sure what to wear. The Salad Hoody Sweatshirt (£24.99) goes with everything and is available in a range of colours, visit www.protest.eu

There’s nothing like a hot bath on a cold day, the Elemis Fabulous Frangipani Escape Box Set (£95) is an exotic collection of five bath and body treasures that feature the iconic Monoi fragrance, including shower cream, body oil, body polish, hand & nail cream, glow candle, visit www. elemis.com

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Words by Simon Oxlade

GAME: Shadow of the Tomb Raider review Lara Croft’s third adventure of the ‘Survivor Trilogy’ sees our youthful heroine visit South America on the trail of the evil Trinity organisation and get caught up in a plot involving hidden cities, lost Amazonian tribes, apocalyptic death cults and a search for her own self.

Shadow of the Tomb Raider is the second sequel to Crystal Dynamics’ successful 2013 reboot and despite a distinctly new horror tinge, and a shift away from the character’s traditional weaponry of two pistols to a bow and arrow, the survivor trilogy has been a return to form for the long-running franchise.

The jungle setting allows the developers to go to town on making a lush-looking game, with excellent foliage, lighting, rock and water effects as well as terrifically animated animals. There is no doubt that visually, this is a really good-looking game. Which makes it a crying shame that Lara herself seems to have taken a step backward in the visuals.

The two previous games have delivered a richly detailed Croft, both in cut scenes and gameplay. This latest incarnation appears to have a much more detailed facial, but the skin and texture on the PS4 version tested seems waxy and a bit plasticky. Also, Lara’s interaction with her environments is

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non-existent. For example, in Rise of the Tomb Raider snow would catch on Lara’s clothes and hair, mud would attach itself to her clothing and if she went for a swim, she’d appear wet, hair and clothes darkened and glistening. In this new game there is none of that outside of the new stealth gameplay.

An improvement, however, is the number of tombs for Lara to raid – there are brilliant and intricate setups of jumps, levers, time limits and environments that use water, light, rocks, hidden limitations and clever restrictions to deliver really great challenging and occasionally thrilling mini-quests.

The latter, thankfully, takes our mind off the so-so main story which seems dreadfully underwritten and, in places is completely implausible. Almost all the main characters, including Croft, are painfully thin in their characterisations.

For me this is where the loss of writer Rhianna (daughter of Terry) Pratchett is being keenly felt.

Overall verdict: For every excellent puzzle, there’s really shoddy writing; for every blockbuster moment, there’s some poor rendering; for every rappelling axe, there’s a puddle of mud. All of which adds up to a game that just scrapes a recommendation but with a bit more attention, and a bit more care, should have been a five star must buy.

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Film review: “Fahrenheit 11/9 will light a fire under your arse” Words by Claire Dukes

“How the fuck did this happen?” asks Michael Moore in his latest documentary Fahrenheit 11/9.

Let’s be clear: ‘this’ is Trump and ‘happen’ is the current social, political, economic and moral climate that America is currently living in.

Moore asks a big and complex question. It may not seem complex to some because a simple argument is that some people are stupid. I mean, who in their right mind would elect a pussy-grabbing rich racist to be the President of the United States?

It’s an odd one. But, in my opinion, Moore does a great job at taking on this challenge.

Primarily Fahrenheit 11/9 is about Trump but, contrary to the film’s trailer, Moore spirals onto other issues which interestingly some critics have found irrelevant... But this, to me, is Moore making his point – Trump is not a solo entity, and this is not a stand-alone issue where America had a bad day and elected this guy. No. We venture back to 9/11, the Reagan years, and Moore’s hometown of Flint to readdress how a whole town was, essentially, poisoned (and the politicians knew!). Moore also puts a spotlight back on the West Virginian teachers’ strike and has a sit down with some of the survivors from the Parkland shooting to show how all these seemingly ‘disconnected’’ events have paved the

way to 2018 and sees the film end on gun-control activist Emma González. It’s powerful.

The documentary is also agonising in many ways but tied together with Moore’s sardonic and satirical humour. If you’re familiar with Moore’s films then you’ll be pleased to know that he’s still up to his old tricks of calling out the elites when it comes to social injustice, as well as standing up for communities that just don’t have a voice - like when he tapes up Wall St as a crime scene in Capitalism: A Love Story, and asks for banks to return people’s money.

It’s still got that quintessential dark humour which is present throughout all of Moore’s films, resulting in an aggressive punch line that’s actually not funny at all. It’s brutal. He even calls out Obama - as much as that was quite painful to watch he comments in an interview with Dazed, “I love Obama and I voted for him twice. But as a filmmaker, I have to tell the truth.”

I have a feeling that the people who are not going to like Fahrenheit 11/9 are the people who will be affected by the uprising (yes, it’s very much under way) of pissed off young people, and if that’s the case Moore’s definitely done his job right. If you’re on the right side of the argument, Fahrenheit 11/9 will light a fire under your arse.

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Would you care to try the wine sir/madam?

Ocelot wine guru Darren Willmott shows how to survive anxiety inducing wine tomfoolery...

The approaching festive season means that it’s highly likely that you’ll either be invited to, or attend, a restaurant in the coming months.

Whilst office parties rely on set menus and transient wine choices, more intimate gatherings can potentially propose certain wine-specific theatrics and, if you don’t know why you’re doing them they can cause confusion and even prompt cries of wine snobbery!

The most obvious example is the server asking you to taste the wine before you ‘accept’ it, which people often delegate to other members of the party as they don’t feel qualified enough to pass judgement.

Far from expecting that you are an instant wine connoisseur being given a last-minute option to double check that you’ve made an informed and delicious decision from the menu, or even a ‘get out of jail free’ card if you don’t like the wine you’ve selected, it’s simply a quality control check.

Wine is a living, evolving, drink, and the theatre derives from proprietors letting customers sample the contents to ensure that the bottle has been correctly stored and is

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free of impairments. Tasting the wine, the perceived scary element, is actually largely unnecessary. A dull colouring or an unexpected/pungent aroma will tell you all you need to know about the wine quality before it ever hits your lips.

Comedian Michael McIntyre does a wonderful routine (worth checking out on YouTube) where he mocks the perceived ‘try-before-you-buy’ wine process, and the fact that it is offered for no other beverage.

Should customers be allowed to know the breeding of the cows providing the milk in their cappafrappa-cinos?

Ultra-pretentious establishments may ask if you want to sniff the recently removed cork. Once again, as the bacterial taint in wine historically came from the cork base touching the wine, this is a theatrical dinosaur rolled out to identify faults.

If you’re unsure which bottle to select, the best advice I can offer is to simply trust the wine list or, if you’re at an upmarket establishment with a wide-ranging selection, trust the sommelier. Apart from the larger chains or less attentive establishments where wines may

be listed on availability and profit margin alone, most restaurateurs are attuned to the implications of customers getting it wrong.

Well aware that food and wine matching is a key part of the full sensory experience of eating out, much work goes into the finished wine list, ensuring it complements the menu in the best possible way.

Sommeliers spend years training with the one desire of highlighting the best wines, based on customer preferences, food matches and individual budget.

Restaurants with a culinary direction will have also already done the hard yards for you so you can be confident buying a bottle of a grape variety you’ve not tried or heard of before.

Steak restaurants will list wines that go well with steak, Italian restaurants will list wines that go well with Italian food and so on.

Whatever you go for, in pretty much every case, the wine that goes best with a meal is the wine that is freely flowing.

Cheers!

Read Darren’s blog at vinesight. me

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Shallot tarte tatin A savoury twist on the classic French apple tart

A savoury twist on the classic French apple tart, this makes an excellent lunch or supper with a simple green salad and some good sharp cheese (goat’s or other). If you don’t have the rightsized ovenproof frying pan, transfer the cooked shallots to a small greased pie dish or shallow cake tin before topping with the pastry.

50g butter 500g shallots, peeled 120ml good-quality balsamic vinegar small bunch of thyme, tied together tightly with string 1 x 300g ready-rolled sheet all-butter puff pastry

salt and black pepper Heat the oven to 200°C/Gas 6. Heat the butter in a heavybottomed ovenproof frying pan (beware wooden and plastic handles!). The shallots will shrink a lot, so the pan might need to be smaller than you’d imagine. Add the shallots and cook on a medium heat until they start to brown, turning occasionally, about 8 minutes.

Add the balsamic vinegar, thyme, a teaspoon of salt, some pepper and enough water to cover. Poach the shallots until they are cooked through and completely soft, about 10 minutes, adding more water if necessary. Remove the thyme, then bubble the liquid and reduce it

until the balsamic vinegar becomes syrupy. Remove from the heat and check the seasoning. Cut a circle of pastry a little larger than the pan, then lay it over the shallots and quickly tuck down the sides (without burning your fingers).

Cut a small slit in the centre for a steam vent. Immediately place the pan in the oven and bake for 20–30 minutes until the pastry is puffed and golden. Leave to cool for 5 minutes, and then invert on to a large flat plate or wooden board, cut into wedges and serve warm.

Like this recipe? Find more delicious ideas at www.riverford. co.uk/recipes

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A dark history of black pudding

By Ben Fitzgerald Black pudding represents one of the very earliest forms of marketing or lying as it’s more commonly known.

(Very early digression people who work in ‘marketing’ are such liars that they even call it marketing rather than lying.)

From the outset, black pudding sets out to obscure its true nature.

It’s clearly not a pudding - a passing glance will tell you that it’s a ruddy sausage. And black..? actually, that’s sort of true, in that old blood usually takes on a very dark appearance after it’s been left for a while. Let’s not mince words - it’s a blood sausage. But for some reason, this tends to frighten small children, hence the fun ‘rebrand’.

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Black pudding is kind of disgusting, but actually no more disgusting than your regular sausage and really amazing when sliced and fried and consumed as star turn on a plate also featuring bacon, eggs, ‘shrooms and beans. It’s also apparently quite good for you, being loaded with iron and other good things that a growing child might need.

Black pudding is one of the oldest types of sausage developed as a handy means of preserving blood drained from a recently slaughtered animal and ensuring it does not go to waste - an important consideration if you have just burned off precious calories tracking said animal

through the snowy northern wastes. References to black pudding (Blak Podyngs) have been found in 15th century literature. It is particularly associated with the Black Country, the West Midlands, Scotland and the North West.

Your modern black pudding usually makes use of pork blood, but any old blood will do.

If you fancy making your own at home, I recommend dressing in your old clothes. Then simply take one enormous vat of fresh blood, stir well and then add oats or barley and a handful of herbs and spices. Then pour the warm mixture into an intestine casing and allow to congeal before serving. Mmm.

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REVIEW: Giraffe restaurant reaches unexpected heights Words by Ben Fitzgerald

Chain restaurants in shopping centres have changed beyond all recognition.

It wasn’t so long ago that the best you could hope for in such a place would be a weak interpretation of ‘Full English Breakfast’ complete with suspiciously pink looking sausage, watery baked beans, and bacon with traces of blue ink on the rind where the unfortunate pig’s number used to be.

Perhaps shoppers’ tastes have grown more sophisticated of late, or maybe restaurants are working harder to lure potential diners inside but the food offerings in shopping centres are actually pretty decent if not downright excellent...

Take Giraffe, for instance.

This chain established in 1998 now boasts more than 40 stores scattered across the country (and mainly based in shopping centres) which serve up a menu drawn from almost every continent on the globe - it’s a weird concept… but it seems to work.

I visited the Swindon Giraffe, in the Designer Outlet Village, where I was presented with a menu boasting a bewildering banquet of eclectic delights such as Edamame, Nachos, Huevos Rancheros, Katsu chicken noodles, Thai duck stirfry, Malay Curry, Indo-Coco curry, Tagine and Sirloin Steak… I could go on.

And I will… Texan BBQ Brisket, Vada Pav, Penang Bang and The Ultimate Giraffe (not actually giraffe you may be relieved to hear, but I don’t blame you if you thought otherwise) I randomly chose the Enchilada Salsa Verde - described as follows: Spicy rice and mixed vegetables in a wrapped tortilla baked in a cheese sauce. Drizzled with a salsa verde and topped with pico de gallo (fresh salsa) and sour cream. And you know what.. it was just as good as anything you might order in Wahaca or a similar high-end Mex restaurant.

Piping hot and properly spicy - I couldn’t fault it.

My dining companion went for the Smoky Joe: Grilled beef with special burger sauce, smoky bacon, smoked cheddar, mixed leaves and a tomato slice.

Between mouthfuls, he reported that it was: “It was a fine quality burger with what obviously was a freshly made patty. Really excellent.”

Giraffe seems to be able to pull off a clever trick - the diverse range of their menu was pulled off with flair and confidence. And they even passed the true test of a decent eaterie - to be able to serve a genuinely good espresso coffee which most places interpret as just a small coffee.

I was stunned to be served with a correctly pulled shot - full marks Giraffe!

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Los Gatos review - “like going to Spain... minus the travel costs” Do you have that restaurant where, no matter how many times you’ve been, you will always just keep going back?

I won’t lie, there are only a few restaurants in Swindon that have this effect on me, and one of them is Spanish tapas bar Los Gatos.

Whether I’m there for lunch or dinner, this authentic little gem on Devizes Road always leaves me warm and, yes, a little bit more cultured since I woke up.

For a quick bite to eat on a lunch time, like the Ocelot’s last visit, I’m always assured that some of my household favourites are there waiting for me such as Pescado Borracho, - hake in beer batter Coliflor al Azafran, - Cauliflower spiced with saffron - Pato Ahumado, - house-smoked duck breast - and Arroz con Pollo - ‘mini paella’ - to name a few. But, equally not being a creature of habit, my first port of call is always the special’s board and without hesitation we ordered them: Tustada de Sardinas, - pan fried Cornish sardine on sour dough - Pierna de Cabrito, - slow roasted leg of goat - and Sanctuary Tapas, -

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Mohammed’s chickpea falafel.

As per tapas protocol each dish comes to your table when it’s fresh off the cooker and, as usual, it’s a bombardment of rich flavours and diverse textures one plate after another - and this isn’t strict to tapas, but it is to Los Gatos. But it was sardines and duck breast that won me over this particular trip. The sardines were fresh, crisp and delicate, and perfectly paired with the pickled cabbage and red sauce, with the duck breast gloriously tender and rich, which also combined a pleasant acidity from the pickled lettuce and creamy coolness of the crème fraiche.

Delicioso!

Design-wise the combination of tiles and wood give Los Gatos that indooroutdoor feel - you could, even just for a brief second, be fooled that you’re sitting on a terrace, grazing over tapas on a warm Spanish evening (preferably with a glass of red).

Los Gatos really does feel like you’re in Spain, but minus the travel costs (and, believe me, if we do leave the EU 1-3 Devizes Road will be your number one go-to Spanish destination).

Words by Claire Dukes

www.theocelot.co.uk

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Arts & Culture

About time for an age old tale A&E Comedy and house present

Enter The Dragons

Saturday 24 November @ 7.30pm Old Fire Station, George Street, Oxford An archetypal Hero is reframed as a mature woman in the modern world. Gripped with fear at her advancing years,

she sets off on an epic quest to defeat Chronos, the god of time, and halt the inevitable – ageing.

Will she succeed?

Enter the Dragons is an hilarious, surreal odyssey through the challenges of growing older, which explodes myths about beauty, sex and femininity.

Expect fantastical characters, ridiculous puppetry, extreme

wigs, physical comedy and delightfully dark humour. Sixty minutes of laugh-out-loud joy, dissent and touching humility for anyone who is considering ageing.

Written and performed

by Abigail Dooley and Emma Edwards this is definitely a tale as old as time.. oldfirestation.org.uk

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In Conversation with Stephen K Amos Words by Brian Donaldson

With the world seemingly intent on lurching from one crisis to another, we all need somebody like Stephen K Amos to shine some funny light into our lives. The man behind a string of acclaimed stand-up touring shows, is also an actor of some repute having appeared in everything from a West End production of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest to EastEnders, and he’s now set to take his latest thought-provoking show, Bread And Circuses, around the country.

The show comes to Swindon Arts Centre on Thursday November 8, Arlington Arts Centre in Newbury on Saturday 17 November and The Cornerstone in Didcot on Thursday 17 January.

The phrase ‘Bread and Circuses’ originates in 1AD Rome, coined by satirical poet Juvenal as a dual attack on the state’s propensity for giving the people what they believe they wanted rather than what they actually needed as well as a dig at the people for being so easily swayed by fripperies.

“The way I’m looking at it is that the world now is one big crazy circus. And circus was one of the earliest forms of entertainment to keep the masses appeased in the same way that we have all these crazy distraction techniques now. One of the biggest TV shows of the year is Love Island: if that’s not a major distraction technique I don’t know what is. And also I was looking at the phrase, ‘let them eat cake’ as we live in a world with artisan types of cake and bread and no one is eating the regular bread any more. What was once a staple food of the poor has become £4 for a loaf.”

Stephen also feels that the seemingly endless array of major sporting occasions could be another method in helping take the populace’s eye off the ball. “We have lots of sports events that seem to follow on from one another. There are all these athletics events: we’ve just had the Olympics and then soon there’ll be the Commonwealth Games. Where will it all end? My brother is a massive football fan. I’ve never seen him cry when any of his kids have been injured but I have seen him cry when his team has lost a match: I just don’t get that kind of tribal mentality. It shouldn’t take some tragedy that affects you personally before you show empathy for somebody else or for a cause.”

Stephen is better known as a comedian who happily teases and cajoles members of his audience rather than beating them over the head with a heavily politicised stick. But is he getting angrier as the years tick by?

“I don’t think I’m getting angrier, but clearly the things around us are not getting any better. One of the things I’m talking about in this show is where we are today and why it seems like we’re regressing and not moving forward. I am certainly more politicised, but I don’t want to be one of those angry people who moves away from rational debate and goes to the extremes of being bitter and vitriolic: that’s not in my nature at all.”

Racism has never been too far from Stephen’s mind on and off stage, and in Bread And Circuses, he’ll be musing over the fact that golliwog dolls can still be found on sale in seemingly civilised nations. Not only is he exposing the lunacy of such aggressively racist objects, he aims to highlight people’s ignorance of the golliwog’s origins and meaning. “That bit just gets bigger and bigger, and I like the fact that it’s uncomfortable: people just go, ‘it’s not a problem anymore is it?’ I think it’s good to put things into people’s minds that they don’t really think about.

But generally, I’m keeping the show loose due to the worldwide events that seem to just keep on happening.”

Stephen still loves touring and the discoveries he makes along the way. “I love the fact that I go around the country and see the odd place that still has character and not just the same bog-standard high street. I like the fact that you can engage with people and do jokes that are social commentary or maybe a bit risqué, and people will get them.”

The biography section on his own site pinpoints the ‘child-like joy’, which oozes out of him and can clearly be seen whenever you see him having fun with his crowd.

“I would say that I am young at heart but the child-like joy possibly does erode as time goes by. I was recently doing some gigs in the Newcastle area in old workingmans clubs from the 70s that haven’t been decorated or anything; it was like stepping back in time. But the sheer joy of those people simply because we were there was incredible. Those people weren’t jaded. But because we sometimes feel disappointed and disenfranchised and upset about things happening in the world, it can be hard to keep that optimism and joy alive.”

So, what keeps the joy alive in Stephen K Amos during these worrying times? “The last thing that brought me joy was the birth of my latest niece. There’s a new life to look forward to and to hopefully pass something on to, be it wisdom or love. But what really inspires me is having faith in human beings and my hope that there is still more good in us all than bad.”

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Theatre: highlights o The Barn Theatre – Cirencester Rory Bremner and Jan Ravens 4 November 7.30pm

She’s Merkel to his Trump. He’s Boris to her Theresa.

Two of Britain’s finest impressionists come together on one bill to make sense (and nonsense) of a world where Boris Johnson is Foreign

Secretary, Donald Trump is US President, and Brexit means Brexit.

Good luck with that.

Featuring personalities from Farage to Lumley, Diane Abbott to Fiona Bruce and the sublime to Jacob

Rees Mogg. Over 30 characters for the price of 2 (3 at weekends).

A unique mix of impressions and satire from the stars of Bremnar, Bird and Fortune and Dead Ringers. www.barntheatre.org.uk

The Oxford Playhouse Sara Pascoe: LadsLadsLads 8 November 7.30pm Always honest, always regretting it later, Sara opens her heart and mouth again to share the adventures of the last year. Full of jokes, hope and white wine, LadsLadsLads is the thinking person’s stag do.

Following a sell-out run in London’s West End, the multiaward-winning comedian and star of Live at The Apollo, Mock the Week, QI and Taskmaster, takes her new show on tour. www. oxfordplayhouse. com

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ts of the month ahead The Watermill Theatre – Newbury On Tour: Trial By Laughter 20 September - 24 November ‘I ask you, is laughter treason? Surely not!’

Following critical acclaim for The Wipers Times, Ian Hislop and Nick Newman return to The Watermill with the premiere of a new play inspired by extraordinary real-life events.

William Hone, the forgotten hero of free speech, was a bookseller, publisher and satirist.

In 1817, he stood trial for ‘impious blasphemy and seditious libel’.

The only crime he had committed was to be funny.

Worse than that he was funny by parodying religious texts. And worst of all, he was funny about the despotic government and the debauched monarchy.

Along with his great ally, political cartoonist George Cruikshank, Hone sought vindication for his laughable offences and fought for freedom in one of the most remarkable legal cases of its time. www.watermill.org.uk

The Wyvern Theatre – Swindon The 11th Hour 13 November 7.30pm

Presented by Prime Theatre, this intimate theatre experience seats the audience on the stage.

1918. A First World War trench.

A British soldier and a German

soldier meet. The war ends in an hour. What will they do? Can war have a winner?

Hear Danny and Marius’s songs and stories while they compare

their conflict experience. Audiences will squirm at scratchy uniforms, wince at wicked weapons, flinch at foul food and titter at terrible toilets. www.swindontheatres.co.uk

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Swindon art exhibition leaves local gallery “buzzing with youth and vitality” Words by Claire Dukes

Photographs by Henry Meredith

Recently, gallery owners collaborated with Swindon’s young artists, musicians and poets to showcase the town’s buzzing art scene.

To put a spotlight on cuts to arts funding in Swindon, young creatives rallied together to showcase some of the town’s unrecognised talent living in Swindon.

Inspired by Artsite’s ambition to spark a resurgence back into one of Swindon’s oldest galleries, Number Nine, artists and volunteers gathered together to support local art in their hometown. The two day exhibition saw artists, poets (Tony Hillier and Rusty Goat) and musicians perform to

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fellow creatives and residents living in Swindon.

Organisers of the event hope that the latest exhibition at Artsite, ‘I Can’t Buy a House, and Yet I Decorate Yours’, would demonstrate how providing more support to Artsite would enable more artists in Swindon to exhibit their work.

An organiser of the exhibition said: “The exhibition was such a success - the turnout was brilliant. But, something to remember is that no one was paid for partaking in this exhibition - all the art work, organising and people’s time were all voluntary. We wanted to do something, to show how much

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creativity is in this town, but ultimately it has reflected the lack of support from funding.

“If there was more arts funding, if Artsite is given more support to create more studios and host more exhibitions, just think about how many more creative collaborations could be popping up all over Swindon.

There was such a great response from everyone involved and people who attended, and events like this showed that Swindon has the capability to be a thriving arts town.”

Artsite - an arts charity which has provided Swindon with a theatre, 12 artists’ studios and gallery space - has been supporting Swindon’s artists for 18 years. After opening The Post Modern in 2008 Artsite trustees, Vicky Silver and Sally Taylor, have been hoping to obtain more space through council-owned, and derelict, buildings. Artsite had been in talks with the council over the last five years to obtain the former Connexions building

with talks not progressing further.

Vicky Silver said: “It was rewarding just seeing Artsite buzzing with youth and vitality - so many young artists telling us how exciting it was to be able to exhibit in Swindon and expressing the desire to make it happen again.

“Conversations confirmed the need for more studios and we had an amazing response that it was an ideal place where specific vulnerable groups could come to work in safety.

“It was more than apparent that without an Arts Officer in Swindon, Artsite’s role is more important than ever to continue to link up both the community and artists.

“Certainly, this exhibition highlighted our presence to young artists that there is somewhere in Swindon that wants them to stay in Swindon somewhere that identifies with them and understands them. Whether the town has woken up to that need I am not sure.” www.artsite.ltd.uk

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Interview: Comedian Juliette Burton Ben Fitzgerald caught up with comedian and mental health campaigner Juliette Burton ahead of her show at the Swindon Arts Centre to coincide with World Mental Health Day

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The phone call doesn’t start out well...

There’s a baby screaming in the background…

And she’s on a train...

“Hello Juliette… is that a baby in the background?”

She’s taking it all in her stride: “Sorry, can you hear me? I expected to be off the train now but it’s been delayed. Not to worry, we can get through this.”

“I agree - we’re both professionals,” I offer unconvincingly.

I begin by asking Juliette about her mental health - inappropriately personal under most circumstances - but a subject she is happy to address… even in the close confines of a packed commuter train.

“Speaking openly about my mental illness is very freeing - I find that if I can make people laugh when I’m talking to them about these issues it puts them at their ease. I’m always very open about my mental health, but it’s other people that can sometimes be unsure about how best to approach these issues.”

Juliette’s teenage years and early adulthood were overshadowed by struggles with anorexia, compulsive eating and bulimia which saw her weight fluctuate from a life-threatening 5 stone to 20 stone in less than a year and led to her being sectioned under the Mental Health Act on four occasions.

“I grew up on a farm which was lovely, but I quickly realised that I was not really cut out for that sort of life. I was supposed to be a lawyer, that is what I was expected to do by my parents but the fact that I was

struggling with my health at the time really affected my schooling and didn’t achieve the qualifications needed. I then went into journalism and worked for various magazines and in broadcast journalism for the BBC before getting into voice-over work which I really enjoyed. This led me into acting where I found that I took to the comedy side of things.

Comedy and the issues surrounding mental health are both very levelling - it’s a great equaliser. People from a wide range of backgrounds can all laugh at the same things and can also relate to some of the other issues that I talk about - I’m sure that there are many people who are feeling that general sense of anxiety about a lot of things going on in the world at the moment.

I ask: “Are there specific challenges faced by female comics in the industry - what barriers and expectations do you have to overcome in what has traditionally been a male-dominated industry... Is it a level playing field?”

My complex and multi-layered question is met with complete silence which hangs heavily for a full five seconds before I jump in weakly... Hello?... The line’s dead.

After a couple of aborted attempts to call back I finally get through on a much clearer line this time - turns out that her train had finally arrived and she’s now sitting somewhere relatively quiet.

She laughs, “No, I wasn’t annoyed by your question, in fact I was really pleased that you used the term female comic rather than comedienne which I always find rather

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patro “No is mu peop terms that embr - to a differ a cha “I a who see m becau numb love have you i My lead can h also s “My the p and t an ex when the E show was t takin that recon He his li simpl to ch We

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patronising, so thanks for that.

“No, I don’t feel that my being female is much of a thing really, obviously those people who come to see me have come to terms with that. I think that something that comedy audiences really need to embrace is diversity in terms of disability - to appreciate a range of voices from different backgrounds. That’s much more of a challenge.

“I am really appreciative of the people who specifically choose to come out and see me at my shows. They are my heroes because they could have chosen to do any number of other things on that evening. I love making people laugh, and when you have that moment when everyone is with you it’s an amazing feeling.

My style is to create a story arc; I want to lead my audience on a journey where they can have a laugh along the way but there is also something else there as well.

“My new show focusses on kindness and the power of just doing simple small acts and the often huge effect it can have. I give an example of a guy who came up to me when I was promoting one of my events at the Edinburgh Fringe, inviting him to the show. What he didn’t tell me at the time was that he was very down and considering taking his own life at that time and says that someone speaking to him made him reconsider.

He still keeps in touch and is getting his life back on track. It is incredible how simple small acts of kindness have a power to change things beyond our expectations.

We need more kindness...”

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Gig Monkey reviews the latest releases

Waterfahl – Sharp Flats An album of 11 songs about the residents of 11 flats in a block is an interesting concept to hang an album on, and one that intrigues greatly.

Musically these tales of disparate characters (a refugee, a party animal, a shy man obsessing over the single mother downstairs etc) are framed by what the artists call Nordicana, a blend of Americana traditions with Nordic noir style.

There is certainly a melancholy at work in the music as much as the lyrics but to my ears there is a great deal more diversity at work with smoky club jazz rubbing shoulder with country vibes, 60’s beat pop and pop-folk. An interesting and creative way to make an album, check it out.

Kid Kin – Kid Kin EP Kid Kin, aka Peter Lloyd, has become a master of creating atmospheric, evocative and soaring instrumental music seamlessly blending analogue instrumentation with electronica.

This latest EP release is a well judged piece of work that manages to capture the imagination even without the hook of lyrics and vocal melody lines.

Effortlessly blending influences as far ranging as Mogwai and Godspeed You! Black Emperor with the best of ambient and techno music (John Hopkins, Four Tet etc) this is an intelligent, balanced and imaginative release from a producer and musician right at the top of his game.

Cracked Machine – The Call of the Void Devizes based outfit Cracked Machine have conjured an enormous slab of pulsating, pounding psychedelic stoner rock, the sort of thing that would have lulled Nordic gods to sleep but roused the mortal dead. This is their second album and it is a real monster, showing a real understanding in song dynamics and how to capture and hold the listener, again without the use of lyrics and vocal melodies.

Here, the riff is storyteller and chief motivator, and these are epic riffs indeed. The songs weave in and out, flowing with the ferocity of an alpine avalanche, full of murderous power yet also managing a deft beauty. Clever stuff.

The Jamin Sun – Handmade Memories EP The Jamin Sun is the long in gestation solo project from former Martyrial / Rainy Day Fund man Ben Tinson, and it is a real departure from his previous creative vehicles.

Gone is the spiky electro-punk and smooth indie of these bands, instead we get fluid, hypnotic and deep EDM that elicits flashbacks to happy times spent in festival fields getting blissed out to the likes of Orbital.

The Jamin Sun is a radical aboutturn in terms of style for its producer, but it is a directional change that is well worth taking with him – it really will have you longing for times spent racing round the M25 at the whim of a vague rumour of a party.

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Dance moves and new found sounds – You Me At Six lift the lid on latest album VI Words by Claire Dukes

As You Me At Six prepared to release their latest album, ‘VI’, The Ocelot caught up with the band’s bassist, Matt Barnes – Claire Dukes spoke to him about dance moves and new found sounds.

As I spoke on the phone Matt was residing back in Surrey slung out on his bed, and I don’t blame him – You Me At Six’s tour will see them perform in London, Manchester, Glasgow, Germany, Norway and France (to name a few locations).

Once teenagers starting out in Surrey, You Me At Six are now celebrating the debut of their sixth studio album VI – coinciding with the tenth anniversary of their first album Take Off Your Colours. Leading up to their upcoming international tour the five-piece are heading out to perform a series of

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acoustic sets across the UK, which included Marlborough Sound Knowledge last month.

Since being established as one of Britain’s most successful rock bands from 2004, VI feels like You Me At Six have taken a new turn with tracks like 3AM and IOU – they’re certainly lighter and have more electronic elements embedded in them. “We’re writing the music we want to write – we don’t want to release the same thing over and over again,” explained Matt.

On releasing their latest album Matt continued “We were a bit scared – it’s a bit different to what we used to sound like, but you can experiment, and it won’t scare people off. If we’d have done this six or seven years ago people would have shit themselves!”

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Despite their sound slightly stepping away from their original rock foundations, Matt maintains “We’ve always had a poppy sound to our band, – we love Hip Hop, pop, RnB, dance – and like we rarely put on rock music in the dressing room. It’s something different.

“I feel the rock genre has been going down for a few years. I believe there hasn’t been support – it’s everyone’s fault. I hope it’s going to turn around.”

That being said Fast Forward and Straight to My Head still resonates with their earlier material but embodies their new tone heard in VI – it feels like a natural progression.

Comparing the likes of 3AM and Back Again [from VI] to their earlier material including Gossip, Reckless, Bite My Tongue and Save it for the Bedroom, there initially could seem to be a disconnect from where the band sonically once were.

Then again even amidst the thrashing guitar chimes and heavy drops from bass and drums in the latter tracks, there’s still a present undertone of pop rock – it’s a gateway, you could argue, which has enabled them to work with Dan Austin and create VI. On working with producer Dan Austin, Matt says “Our relationship was

great – it felt like there was six of us in the band. We all put our stamp on it, and we did it together.” And, it’s that collaborative ethic that Matt says is “detrimental” to the band marking their tenth year together. “So many bands fall out – who gets the money, y’know. We split up everything we do – interviews, press, songwriting, everything. We’re a dysfunctional family, but everyday feels like Christmas.”

Revisiting that minor fact that You Me At Six are marking their tenth anniversary of their first album Matt says, “It’s totally crazy. Looking back 10 years ago, Josh [lead singer] was 16 when we were writing songs and I was 18 – to be almost 30 is a massive deal.”

The guys seem to be taking this anniversary with a fresh kick in their step, which I mean literally when we talk about shooting the music video for 3AM. According to Matt he’s not a natural dancer, but after four pints into the shoot he said “I was up for it – Dan [drummer], not so keen, but it was so jokes. I was so scared doing it!”

So, I have to ask naturally, from teenagers hanging out in Surrey to selling out arenas across the world – what is Matt’s advice to young bands today? “Don’t listen to anyone but yourself – or someone who’s done it before [been in a band],” he earnestly replies. “There are too many people in the industry who sit behind a desk and don’t know what they’re doing.

“Your gut is the best thing you can listen to. If someone says, ‘it’s shit’ don’t listen to them – the only person you can listen to is yourself.”

For further information about You Me At Six’s tour visit www.youmeatsix.co.uk

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Interview: Reef’s Gary Stringer You released an album after 18 years – that’s quite mental! Many people say it’s the best record you’ve done as well, would you agree with that?

difference with regard to writing. It just means you can start again really, so yeah, it’s exciting and Jesse has been brilliant.

It’s the one I’m most happy with, yeah I’m proud of it. I’m stoked about it. Really had a good go with this record, really tried to make the best record we could. Is it the best record we’ve done? I don’t know, I haven’t really listened to the first four to be honest.

On the album, you teamed up with Sheryl Crow, for a track, My Sweet Love. How was that experience for you, was she in the studio with you?

How did that come about?

It’s definitely been getting the best reviews and the best reaction. I don’t know if you read into that or if you look at that?

Yeah, a lot of people have gotten very excited about it, which is wicked. I am too, so, it feels pretty good to me.

It’s the first record you did with Jesse, obviously he’s been in the band a good few years now but it was the first one where he actually played on a record for you. What do you feel he’s brought to the record? Did he help to rejuvenate your sound? Was he part of the driving force of making a new record?

Definitely his writing. Jesse’s brought a whole new bunch of energy to the band in regard of, when you’ve been playing with people for a long time, you might know yourself, you build up a relationship, don’t you? You fall into the roles of how you should be, like maybe with your mum and dad.

You act a certain way, you’ve always acted that way, kind of always will, and that’s cool, that’s what it is, and that’s cool. But when one guy leaves and another guy joins, it’s new blood.

You can remould yourself, you can be different. You don’t have to be the same. So, yeah, he’s brought in a new dynamic, and a new energy, which is fantastic. It’s really helped us, changing the blood has made all the

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No, I met Sheryl Crow for the first time through the Internet. It was George’s idea to have her on the album, I had already sung My Sweet Love out in Ireland, and he suggested that maybe this could be a song that was good for a duet, have another voice. George is usually right, so I said “yup! No problem.” So George sent her the song, she loved it, and sung it within two weeks. I was in my house in Somerset by then, we could come home and George was in New York and Sheryl was in Nashville, so we were all on Skype or whatever, and you could listen on headphones.

Yeah, she nailed it. She was actually fantastic, brilliant.

Earlier this year, you took part in the Brit Rock Must Be Destroyed Tour.

How was that? Touring with The Wildhearts, Terrorvision… Were they all your mates back in the day as well?

Was it a kind of reunion?

No, they weren’t really, not that they were my enemies either. I mean, it was quite combative back then, it was pretty gladiatorial. Bands sort of glared at each other quite often, all that stuff. I was never mates with them and to be honest, I didn’t really know a huge amount about their music either. I didn’t dislike them, just absolutely impartial. The idea of the tour came up, we said, “yep, that sounds fun”, and I’ll tell you what, we had the best time. We had a real blast and Ginger and Tony became friends, hanging out in sound check and doing the shows, that was really great to hang out and meet them

personally, and check out their music.

Go and watch from side of stage for a month and check out bands I didn’t know a lot about. It was wicked; I wouldn’t change any of that. It was absolutely fantastic.

We need to talk about the legacy of Place Your Hands. How do you feel about the song looking back and the fact that it still gets played and appreciated everywhere today?

I’m stoked! I’m really happy with it. You know it’s got it’s own Twitter page, right? You can go on there, @placeyourhands, and see how many it’s sold each week. Yeah, it’s daft, but it’s brilliant as well. It sold somewhere between 900, 1000, maybe 700, 1500 some weeks. It’s crazy that a song that you wrote is still selling roughly 1,000 records a week. It goes all over the world; it’s that one song! I love it mate. I’m really proud of it. It still sounds good when it comes on to me.

That’s good, because there’s some bands where they have arguably their most popular song and they just grow to hate it. You’re not one of those?

Not at all, not at all. No, genuinely, I love it. I don’t even understand that.

You’ve had a hit, a song, I guess if you weren’t happy with what you’ve done and it became really successful then that could maybe be a bit of a grind, but so what? It makes other people happy, and it puts a few quid in your pocket. Maybe some people are bit more uptight about all that sort of stuff, but for me, I love listening to it. Not many weeks go by where I don’t get a story, either through the internet or in the pub or bumping into someone, “Oh, I was in Adelaide and I heard Place Your Hands at this bar at 3am, and the whole place went up” or “I was in Abu Dhabi in a restaurant and it came on”. It’s wicked! It’s the way it

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connects to people, man. Weddings, funerals, parties. Weekend, morning, evening. It’s just rad, man.

You grew up in Glastonbury, and you’re coming to play Frome on the tour. Will that feel like a homecoming gig for you? Have you played Frome before?

Yeah, we’ve played it a couple of times before. We had some really good nights, it’s a really cool room actually. It must have been 800 people, and it has always been a good gig for us. Yeah, I grew up in Glastonbury, I was born in Somerset but I grew up here most of my life.

So yeah, it’s exciting, and great venue to play in Frome. We’ve had some really sweaty nights there. You know, legs in the air and beer on the ceiling, and big smiles. Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.

You made this album after 18 years, you’re not going to be another 18 years before you release another one, surely?

I would hope not! We took about seven years off for a start.

Is the plan to keep going?

Yeah, I think so! I’m really enjoying myself at the moment. Really excited by the music and it’s really, really cool. I want to keep going and keep writing; that’s the main thing, to be creative. I mean I was working, but with other things. So, yeah, seven years off, then we had Live Nation come in and offer us so we chose, we went and did them, and it sold out.

It all kind of led to the festivals, and then we thought we should make a record really. A lot of things have happened in that time, but no, it won’t be another 18 years!

Catch Reef on November 15 at the Oxford Academy 2 www.reeftheband.com

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The Ocelot’s November music reviews Words by Claire Dukes

Leon Daye Album: The Gift

Leon Daye’s ‘The Gift’ is an interesting one.

Although based in Cirencester the album itself exudes Americanness and really affirms its place in the territory of alt-rock and country blues - think R.E.M. meets the Eagles.

The stand out songs for me are ‘Darkside’, ‘Building a Life’ and ‘Diamonds and Dreams’ - there’s wisom in Leon’s words, a sort of philosophical undertone which also is delicately executed. And, although The Gift is catchy easy listening, you’ll be fooled to think

there’s no depth here - it’s very soulful in this respect with an air of reminiscence brought home by those southern instrumental twangs which are incredibly melodic against Leon’s gentle, and quite sweet, vocals.

The Gift very much feels like Leon’s offering of knowledge and it is with this that you can hear Leon turning the page to start a brand new chapter - whether that’s personally or musically is irrelevent. At the end of the day, it’s a gift. www.leondaye.com

No Side Effects Album: Reinventing Failure

them, funnily enough, in my head as evil geniuses for nothing more than the fact that this song stayed in my head for days – the irony of it all! Also, my foot, it would seem, is having all the side effects – tapping along to a beat that is not actually audible anymore. It’s funny in a kind of sinister way, and for this reason I’m sold.

Reinventing Failure is a bit of a trip - it’s sonically and lyrically very experimental but at the exact same time it has been excellently produced. This really stands out in Dark Light, Eco-terror, and Pessimonster - I’m eager to find out if this translates the same in a live performance.

I’m hearing influences from Hot Chip and New Order - whether I’m right or wrong doesn’t really matter. The point is: No Side Effects make failure sound fun. ww.nosideeffectsmusic.com

Aha, where do I begin?

I’m gonna make like this electronically explosive album and dive straight in.

Musically there’s not a lot of continuity throughout Reinventing Failure, but on the flip side each song, needless to say, evokes something you’re not prepared for. This won’t work for everyone, but travelling through this... experience, shall we say, No Side Effects do actually pull this off.

Track-wise ‘In Your Brain Right Now’ genuinely made me accuse

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Mother Single: LA

There’s a seedy feel to LA, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Oxford trio, Mother, will shortly be introducing people to a their version of LA. One thing I have noticed with these guys is their tight relationship with tempo they’re very confident with it and in LA it’s not different. I’d argue LA is harsher but the way in which guitar sort of drones and drags at the beginning

is used effectively - this is where it sounds seedy and here Mother makes LA sound glamorous, particularly with the drums continuously bellowing in the background and constant reverberation of the bassline.

There’s also a 90s alt-rock essence to it, - almost Oasean - with a few Kasabian tones piping up every now and then.

Then the punch your waiting for arrives. It’s a quick turnaround, foreshadowed just

enough that it’s not drastic and unwelcomed, and Mother have executed this well.

Formerly a four-piece, LA seems like a natural progression for Mother - it incorporates their grunge vibe which they’ve balanced nicely with their post-punk sound. It’s not as catchy as say Petrichor (the first track from their Remnants of a Wasted Dream EP), but I’d argue LA is flaunting more sophistication.

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Gaz has his most ambitious gig yet to launch new album Words by Jamie Hill

In Swindon and Wiltshire, Gaz Brookfield has become something of a local legend.

The brilliant singer songwriter has been forging a career for himself through sheer force of will and moved up to Bristol a few years ago to make his career really take off.

And it did. The solo acoustic singer has gone from strength to strength, selling out venues all over the UK and playing big main stage festival gigs.

This is despite absolutely no industry help at all. He really is a DIY maestro when it comes to his career.

On Saturday December 15 he has his biggest gig ever at SWX to launch his new live album ‘I Know My Place’. It will be a full band show and

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will definitely be one to remember.

He said: “A few years back I became the first and only unsigned act to sell out The Fleece. I then did that every December for the next five years, selling it out 6 months in advance the last time.

“So we moved up to the Bierkeller last December. Sold it out two months in advance. First unsigned act to sell that out too. And the last as it closed shortly after.

“So this year we have moved up again to SWX. 1,000cap. If it sells out, I’ll be then first unsigned act to sell that out too.”

It should be a brilliant gig and it will be all the better if it has good Ocelotshire support along for the ride.

You can get tickets from swxbristol.com

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Levs and The Vic go big with gigs over the next couple of months If you’re a music fan in Swindon you’re in for a treat over the next month or so as both Level Three and The Vic will be spoiling you rotten. The two venues are now under the same management and the quality is really showing.

The Vic The Vic on Victoria Road is non-stop over the next couple of months. To name a few of the highlights they’ve got going on you’re going to be able to catch Kirk Brandon from Spear of Destiny (Nov 4), Miles Hunt from The Wonderstuff (Nov 6), True Strays (Nov 8), the brilliant SPACE (Nov 9) and Milk Teeth (Nov 17) if you like a bit of Stroud born punkiness. www.thevicswindon.com

Level Three Level Three on Commercial Road is really turning things up to eleven with so much going on that it’s impossible to mention them all.

But in short they’ve got Shvpes (Nov 19), Cockney Rejects (Nov 22), The Quireboys (Dec 9), Hed Pe (Dec 11), Hundred Reasons (Dec 12), Kingdom of Madness (Dec 22) to name a few.

One gig we’re particulary looking forward to are local legends Two Sick Monkeys with their last ever show on December 16. Expect moshing and lots and lots of ranting.

It should be quite a send-off for these two punk gods. www.level3Swindon.com

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Music for the month ahead Words by Claire Dukes

It’s November, and although the temperature may be dropping outside the music scene across our regions is still burning hot!

This month sees some of The Ocelot’s favourites return to the stage as well as some up and coming acts which you may want to catch while the ticket prices are still friendly.

Trust me, November’s music highlights are a combo of evolving artists and musicians in the running to be the next big thing!

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Little Brother Eli’s lead singer, Alex Grew

THE OXYMORA

THE BLINDERS

CANDY SAYS

Where: Level III, Swindon When: Friday 2 Time: 8pm www.level3swindon.com

Where: The Bullingdon, Oxford When: Monday 5 Time: 7.30pm www.thebullingdon.co.uk

Where: The Library, Oxford When: Thursday 15 Time: 7.30pm www.wegottickets.com

MILK TEETH

SAINTSENECA

Where: The Victoria, Swindon When: Saturday 17 Time: 8pm www.thevicswindon.com

Where: Jericho Tavern, Oxford When: Wednesday 21 Time: 7pm www.bandsintown.com

LITTLE BROTHER ELI

Where: 02 Academy, Oxford When: Friday 30 Doors open: 6.30pm www.academymusicgroup.com

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Words by Claire Dukes

Happy Mondays’ Bez steps into Chaney’s house for new music video Swindon artist Chaney is ready to drop his latest music video for his single ‘My House’ featuring Happy Mondays’ psychedelic sidekick Bez - aka Mark Berry.

Swindon-based musician, producer, and DJ Theo Altieri aka Chaney - has enlisted one of pop’s most iconic mascots - Happy Mondays’ ‘Bez’ - to star in his latest music video ‘My House’.

Released on his most recent EP #SAVESWINDON, the ‘My House’ video features Chaney as a humbly living resident, and Bez as a disgruntled neighbour, in a suburban nightmare based

in Rodboune.

Speaking of the song, Chaney said ““My House’ is a song that lyrically really lends itself to obvious visuals, and the video is based around a heightened/exaggerated version of myself being a homeowner.

“Freaking your neighbours out is one thing, but when your neighbour is Bez, it leaves you unsure - he might come knocking to demand you to turn the music down, or turn up with a bottle of brandy asking to join the party. “’My House’ is a combination of experiences visiting your

friend’s new homes, houses, university halls, and also the memories of that slightly psychotic neighbour who lives on your cul-de-sac (the one who never says ‘good morning’), maybe that’s me when I live in my dream house”.

According to Chaney, his music is created with the intention that everyday people can relate to it. He said: “I think there are people out there who need speaking for. Without being too rock n roll about it, I think people need someone genuine to come through.”

For further information visit www.thisischaney.com

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Agony Girl Five-year-old Amy is obsessed with LOL dolls,making her parents bankrupt, but she’s still got time to answer your questions. We read her the questions and these are her answers... honest.

Dear Amy, I like beer. I really like beer. Do you like beer?

Beer.

Mark, Washington No. Because it’s not healthy as it has sugar in. If people drink beer they get sick and die.

Dear Amy, If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be and why?

Gary, Swindon I would be a half tiger and half cat. Because they’re both cute.

Dear Amy, I want to be a success. I want to live, breathe and die success. I’ve got this. I want other people to respect me and think only of me.

I will be a success, I know it. How can I be successful?

James, Swindon Maybe run fast and push people out the way so you can get through and say excuse me so you can win.

Dear Amy, I used to have a friend who I was really close with but they suddenly just shut me out of their lives. One minute I would talk to this person all the time and the next minute they had disappeared as though they had never been part of my life. How can I get my friend back?

Charlotte, Oxford Maybe be nice to her. Say ‘hi and I’m sorry about what I done’ even if you don’t know what

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you did. Try and talk.

Dear Amy, I’ve got two ‘b’s in my name and people keep mentioning it all the time. I also really like badgers. I just love the furry little things.

They’re skanking brilliant. Do you think I should be brave and get a badger for a pet?

Robb, Salisbury Yeah. You should go to the pet store and get a hundred pounds and then get a big, big badger.

Dear Amy, My wife’s hair keeps clogging the shower. It’s getting to the stage that I’m getting through a plunger a week as there’s just so much. Should I simply shave my wife’s hair off when she’s asleep?

Bobby, Abingdon No. Because it’s mean and you shouldn’t otherwise she might call the police.

Dear Amy, My daughter is obsessed with LOL Dolls. She’s addicted and now my house is full of them.

Should I throw them all out?

Gail, Newbury No. Because they’re great. Because they’re surprises and I like them.

Dear Amy, What’s the time?

Grifter, Durrington Eleven o’clock.

Write in by emailing jamie@theocelot.co.uk

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