Wilts ocelot 113 nov 2015

No: 113 November 2015

Wiltshire Edition

FREE

The King of Comedy?

The wonderful wit of Hal Cruttenden p18

Plus....

Shoebox

New theatre opens in Swindon p16

Buswell

Orchestra challenge p20

Ferocious Dog The Vic hosts the barking band p28

Biscotti

Mouth-watering recipe p34

FOOD AND DRINK / THEATRE AND ARTS / COMEDY / LIVE MUSIC

#113

NOV ISSUE

For Starters

04 Michael Bosley 06 Our Man in Iraq Arts and Culture

09 Are You Talkin’ To Me? 10 Local Scribblings 12 Theatre List 15 One Man Breaking Bad 16 Shoebox Theatre 18 Hal Cruttenden Music

20 Challenge Buswell 22 This is New Music 25 Groovers on Manouevres 26 Gig Monkey 28 Ferocious Dog 29 The Gig List Food and Drink

33 Brewery Bird 34 Delicioius biscotti recipe 36 International Pan of Mystery The Final Bit of the magazine

38 Agony Girl and Twisted Peel

The Positive News Force - from left - Roger Ogle, consultant editor, owner James Phipps, TBE editor Anita Jaynes and group editor and Ocelot editor Jamie Hill

Positively brilliant.

Do you want to hear some positive news?

Well, as you probably know, from all the stuff I’ve been blathering on about for the past few months, The Ocelot has become part of Positive Media Group which is made up of several publications including Swindon Link and The Swindon & Wiltshire Business Exchange. We’re now like a print-based version of The Avengers.

And we had our official launch at the start of October with lots of Champagne and nibbles and there was even some speeches on how we’re going to be spreading ‘positive’ news across the region.

The Ocelot is still like the mischievous little brother though and it’s still as random as ever. We’ve just got a few more resources behind us now so that we can make things even better for you lot out there.

When I say better, there are some pretty sweet plans in the pipeline as we approach our tenth anniversary year.

Anyway, it’s a packed issue this time with loads going on from theatre to gigs and we even make room for a cat wearing a scarf.

Write into me at jamie@theocelot.co.uk

Jamie Hill

Editor: Jamie Hill - jamie@theocelot.co.uk Sales: Dave Stewart dave@theocelot.co.uk 07872 176999 Telephone: 01793 781986 Publisher: Positive Media Group, Arclite Building, Peatmoor, Swindon SN5 5YN Printers: Acorn Print, Swindon

www.theocelot.co.uk

For Starters

This column will make you reassess your life A Nerd’s Last Word

by Michael Bosley

“Everyone is Losing Their Minds Over Ashton Irwin’s New Haircut”.

“Shit!” I thought, leaping up from my desk and rushing to my window, bracing myself for the grim scenes that would no doubt be presented to me; cars overturned, houses being looted and the thick, acrid smoke of burning tyres hanging in the air as the news of Ashton Irwin’s new haircut proliferates amongst the masses.

But the streets are calm; the buses are running as normal and my neighbour busies himself in blissful ignorance under the bonnet of his car.

“Poor sod” I mutter. The news must have only just hit. In no time at all he’ll be swarmed by bloodthirsty gangs of anarchists, hell bent on destruction.

I reach for the door and turn the lock and then work my way around every window, ensuring every blind and curtain is closed, so as not to advertise myself as a willing victim to the imminent lynch mob.

Under the glow of my laptop I frantically jab “Ashton Irwin haircut”, desperate to find some news as to why everyone is losing their minds.

As the truth begins to unravel, the fear and panic slowly ebbs away, replaced by relief and confusion. As it

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happens, Aston Irwin is one fraction of the band 5 Seconds of Summer; an identikit clone of One Direction hailing from Australia. For those of you old enough to chew solid food and therefore none the wiser as to who these people are, think Busted but with more vests.

It appeared I had been duped once again by the hyperbolic stylings of another entertainment and listicle driven website article, designed to lure me in with over exaggerated promises of “blowing my mind” or “being the best thing I’ll ever see, ever, in the whole entire history of the world” only to be presented with a picture of a cat wearing a scarf - which would still be pretty cool, but, I mean, not exactly the best thing I’ll ever see in the whole entire history of the world. (Though note to editor: Please use a picture of a cat in a scarf as the feature image).

These websites are all competing for hits and a sure-fire way of doing so is to ensure the story goes viral on social media, even if that means telling a few white lies.

“Amy Schumer eating a peanut will make you reassess your whole entire life!” will, apparently, draw a larger audience than “Woman eats Peanut with little or no repercussions”.

With all these publications screaming for our attention in this way, it loses its impact. Then before we know it, we’ll all start talking like that - which would be the absolute worst thing to happen in the whole world, ever!

For Starters Escalating tensions in Kurdistan amidst the gloomy news Off The Grid with Luke Coleman Our Man in Iraq Our Man in Iraq is how this column is grandiosely titled, although if you’ve read it before you would agree that ‘That Dick in Kurdistan’ is more accurate. And while I’d love to be bringing you great tidings from the Iraqi part of the Kurdish areas (KRI) of the Middle East, this month I’ve got another slice of shit pie for you, so put on your bib, open wide and be thankful that democracy in the UK is more palatable than it is here, a semi-autonomous region often lauded for “democracy”, “progressive attitudes” and “freedom”.

Because, no matter how much I love the people, the politicians in charge don’t respond well to protest. As I write, three weeks before publication, demonstrations have been taking place in the east of the KRI, where teachers and other public sector workers have been protesting the fact that they’ve

not been paid for months.

Coupled with resentment towards the ruling KDP (out of favour in towns and cities in the east) and their President who has been ruling without mandate since his term expired in August it was always going to be quite a forthright protest. Slogan shouting turned to tyre burning turned to rock throwing which led to disproportionate response from security and in three

days, five are dead. There will be no investigation, no one will be held to account and protest will be violently shut down with tear gas, water cannon and live rounds.

All this amidst a war with lunatic jihadists, Kurdish peace marches turning into massacres in Turkey and Russia bringing their noise....

Still, I’m walking the hour to and from work now that the weather is cooler, so there’s that. Small mercies.

Map of Displacement website finally launched We don’t pay our writer Luke Coleman (above).

It’s not because he doesn’t deserve it but because the generous scribbler would prefer that we make a donation to a charity of his choice each month.

This is something that we’re glad to do and this process itself sometimes takes us to some quite interesting places.

A few months back, we helped fund something called The Map of Displacement - a website that is a written account of the plight of displaced people within Iraq.

And finally it is live.

Since January 2014, Iraq’s war against ISIS has displaced over a tenth of the country’s population. One and a half million Iraqis have fled to the relative safety of the Kurdistan Region of Iraq.

Editor Stefano Carini said: “I am personally extremely proud of the work. The website turned out to be even more

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stunning than I thought. But mainly I am happy because the vision we had last year, has come true, and the stories we have heard, photographed and written are finally out there all together, not only as a journalistic documentation, but far more importantly as an undeniable record of history, a written and visual document so that nobody will ever be able to say: it did not happen.

“We now have new ambitions for this important project, including continuing the documentation and adding new stories, as well as the production of a book and an exhibition.”

For us at The Ocelot, we believe this is proper journalism, keeping the human stories of the conflict alive as the displacement spills over into Europe.

To see what it is all about visit

www.mapofdisplacement.com

Available for private hire

Film

Are superheroes superfluous?

The remake of Clint Eastwood’s The Dead Pool has gone down a bit of a different route especially when it comes to Dirty Harry’s new look

Are You Talkin’ To Me? A Film column by Jamie Hill Genres are funny. The ebb and flow of their popularity is totally dependent on mass market tastes.

There’s been a lot of talk recently that the past decade’s obsession with superheroes is bound to crash and burn in the coming years as we head to overkill.

A particularly evil supervillain called ‘Audience Apathy’ is threatening the genre’s time at the top.

We’ve already had the Fantastic Four reboot prove, urm, not so fantastic at the box office this summer and there’s bound to be a few more superhero movies not exactly being up to scratch.

In my opinion though, the genre can take a few punches and they might even be beneficial in the long run as it takes away studio complacency.

Every good superhero knows, when facing increasingly stark odds there’s really only one thing to do and that is adapt or die. And that is why I don’t think this genre is going anywhere any time soon and has probably got good legs for the long term.

The superhero model, in the original comics and graphic novels, has been an ever-changing landscape of different takes and genres within genres. The writers have known that to keep it fresh the stories have to be adaptable with different themes and cater for the constantly mutating tastes of the audience.

This has created a wealth of material for the studios to raid when addressing the superhero movie - all with a different take on how to approach the genre.

The problem with The Western as a long term genre, although brilliantly done, really comes down to one simple thing - that it is essentially one type of story. White knight

saving community. I know that is a huge generalisation and don’t get me wrong I absolutely love Westerns but we can now only take a handful a year.

The fact that The Western is set solely in the wild west probably didn’t help it as a genre that could stay at the top as there’s only so much tumbleweed action that audiences can take.

The superhero genre also does exactly the same with this ‘white knight’ business but is able to do it in a myriad of different ways that addresses different issues and stories that a modern day audience can really relate to.

We’re already seeing the adaptability of the superhero genre. This year’s Ant-Man is a case in point. This was not your normal superhero movie of cities being threatened and heroes flying to the rescue. In fact it was a comedy heist movie. Great stuff.

Another example was the high sci-fi of last year’s Guardians of the Galaxy which was basically The Usual Suspects does Star Wars. And over on Netflix, Daredevil went all dark, brooding and adult to amazing results.

But one film that we’re really looking forward to is next February’s Deadpool starring Ryan Reynolds. The film that will see Marvel go down the ‘R’ rated route. If you’ve ever read the comics you’ll know that this particular superhero is a swearing, fourth-wall breaking violent sociopath and is funny as hell. With a good script this could well be the Porkies of superheroes.

DC and Warner Bros as always are a bit behind Marvel when it comes to adapting but with the forthcoming Suicide Squad that could all be about to change as well.

Superhero films have a long way to go before they run out of steam and I think there’s definitely a bit of life in the old dogs yet.

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The Written Word

Oxfordshire and Wiltshire have quite the pedigree when it comes to the written word with some of the UK’s greatest writers on our doorstep from your Pratchetts and Tolkeins to your Goldings and Haddons. At The Ocelot we do like to harp on about some of the great works of literature happening right under our noses from self-publishers to litfests. Over the next two pages we look into a few of these in a bit more depth.

First time Swindon author launches sci-fi trilogy Imagine a world of magic. A world of war. A world like you’ve never seen before.

This is the setting for Jamie Martin’s debut novel. It is set in a landscape of intrigue with embattled humans trying to survive in a struggle against a terrifying race of creatures.

The book called The Anomaly Crystal took Swindonian Jamie three years to write and is the first novel in a planned trilogy.

Jamie achieved a Bachelor of Science (Honours) degree in Psychology and a Postgraduate Certificate in Business Psychology during his time at University but always wanted to be a writer.

He said: “The Anomaly Crystal is an action-packed science fiction, fantasy war story lasting over 200 years spun from the highly gripping issues of armed conflict and ancient sorcery upon a mysterious planet.

“It’s an epic story with countless shocking twists, exciting scenes and incredible action that can be enjoyed by everyone.”

It tells the story of a great war between humans and terrifying creatures which will be decided by the courage and emotions of a few honourable and worthy individuals.

The plot tells the story of Raven, who is the last bloodline descendent from the greatest wizard known as Grackle, and has found himself living in a time of endless uncertainty, magic and sorcery between the humans and a terrifying creature race residing upon the mysterious Planet of Phoenix.

It is available to loan from Swindon Library within the

Jamie Martin with his debut novel The Anomaly Crystal

Science Fiction section.

You can buy it from Amazon at www.amazon.co.uk/ Anomaly-Crystal-JAMIE-MARTIN

Charles Williams; The Third Inkling by Grevel Lindop The Inklings were some of the most celebrated writers in British history, including C.S Lewis and J.R.R Tolkein.

However little has been mentioned of the most controversial member of ‘The Inklings’ – namely Charles Williams.

That is, until Grevel Lindop decided to delve deeper into the fascinating history of the pioneering fantasy writer, who still has a cult following.

C.S. Lewis thought Williams’ poems on King Arthur and Holy Grail-lore were among the best poetry of the 20th Century for the “soaring and gorgeous novelty of their technique,

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and their profound wisdom”. Joining the Inklings at the outbreak of the Second World War, Williams had risen to become an influential publisher, a successful dramatist and an innovative literary critic.

He became the most admired lecturer in wartime Oxford with his ‘Romantic Theology’ focusing on an approach to God through sexual love, and believed that the Christian churches had dangerously undervalued sexuality. This influenced many young writers before Charles Williams died suddenly at the height

of his powers.

The biography my Grevel Lindop holds never before published letters from T.S. Eliot and C.S. Lewis, a wealth of documents, letters and private papers and vividly recreates the bizarre and dramatic life of this strange and uneasy genius.

Available in all good book shops.

A mystery novel set in the paradise of Goa

The Written Word

The beaches and infamous party scene has been synonymous with the small state of Goa since the sixties, but rural Goa or the real Goa, as locals often refer to it as, is the setting for Marissa de Luna’s new novel, Under the Coconut Tree.

On a recent holiday, Marissa visited her father’s ancestral home, located deep in the village of Zossvado.

Inspired by the tranquil beauty of the area and the vibrancy of the Goan people, Detective Chupplejeep was born, her father’s house now the setting for the detective’s home. This light-hearted novel gives readers a glimpse into Goan village life as Detective Chupplejeep and Police Officer Pankaj sift through rumour and gossip to solve the murder of Sandeep Shah.

Reviewers of Under the Coconut Tree have said, ‘You’ll fall in love with the characters and the setting’, ‘delightful cosy crime, leaving you desperate to get your hands on the next in the series.’

Marissa de Luna is an up-and-coming young author with a passion for writing and travel. Under the Coconut Tree is her third novel and the first in the Chupplejeep Mystery series.

Under the Coconut Tree (ISBN: 978-151-2252163) is available as a paperback and e-book. For more information about Under the Coconut Tree or about the author see www.marissadeluna.com

Swindon Youth Festival of Literature is coming...

Authors, poets, illustrators and storytellers will be visiting schools for readings, workshops and performances to encourage children to expand and enjoy their writing and reading from November 6 to 13 for the Swindon Youth Festival of Literature.

Award winning author Phillip Reeve will open the festival at Isambard School with students from across all of the participating schools, and performance poet Ash Dickinson will once again visit each of the 11 secondary schools to perform his poetry to all Year 7 students and encourage their ‘inner poet’ by supporting them to create lines of prose.

Illustrator and author, Fred Blunt, will host a series of illustration

workshops for Art & Design students, and finishing off the week will be a scare filled event with a multi school audience, as horror author David Gatward hosts a session on the 13 November at Highworth Warneford School.

Cross school activities will also be part of the fun as schools challenge each other in literary based competitions including an inter-school book quiz, a creative writing competition and a contest for illustration.

The headline event of the festival will take place on the 12 November with Steve Cole, the new author of the ‘Young James Bond’ series previously written by Charlie Higson. The event promises thrills, excitement, action and glamour – all

the ingredients of a classic Bond adventure to round out the festival.

Authors such as ‘The Two Steves’ have previously heaped praise upon the festival saying: “The Swindon Youth Festival of Literature is a brilliant festival – it brings authors and students together to celebrate all that is good about books and reading. We love it!”

Supported by the Swindon Association of Secondary Heads, the list of sponsors includes Santander, WHSmith, Bower&Bailey, Browns Books for Students and Micro Librarian Systems. These companies are very generously offering their sponsorship for prizes and printing to make the festival bigger and better than any previous year. For more info www.swindonyfl.co.uk

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Theatre & Comedy List Sunday November 1 FAMILY EVENTS: I Believe in Unicorns 1:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon CONCERT: Festival of Remembrance – Swindon Royal British Legion 1pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon CONCERT: Charlie Landsborough 8pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon

7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon CONCERT: The Illegal Eagles 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Saturday November 7 CHARITY EVENT: Race Night presented by the Wyvern Theatre Foundation 7:30pm- Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon

CONCERT: We Will Remember Them 3pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU

COMEDY: Tommy Tiernan – Out of the Whirlwind 8pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon

FAMILY EVENTS: The Forest 11 am - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT

FAMILY EVENTS: Mister Maker 1pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon

CONCERT: Big Band Brunch 12pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Tues November 3 to Sat November 7 THEATRE: Eventide 7:45pm - The Salberg, Salisbury Playhouse, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury Tuesday November 3 DANCE: Russell Maliphant Dance Conceal Reveal 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon

CONCERTS: Into The Shadows 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon

TALKS: Doug Allan - Life Behind The Lens 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon Wednesday November 4 CONCERT: The Haunted Dolls House 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon CONCERT: Lunchtime Recitals - Brahms to Broadway 1:05pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon COMEDY: Festival of the Spoken Nerd – Just for Graphs 8pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Thursday November 5 COMEDY: Roy Chubby Brown 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon CONCERT: The Simon & Garfunkel Story 7:30pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Friday November 6 COMEDY: Only Fools and Boycie - An Audience with John Challis

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in association with Ringwood Brewery www.ringwoodbrewery.co.uk

COMEDY: Nina Conti: In Your Face 7:30pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU CONCERT: Live Lunch: Effra 12pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Monday November 9 THEATRE: That’ll Be The Day – 30th Anniversary Special 7:30 pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Tues November 10 to Sat November 14 THEATRE: Jane Wenham - The Witch of Walkern 7:30pm - Salisbury Playhouse, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7RA Tuesday November 10 COMEDY: Sarah Millican - Outsider 8pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon CONCERT: Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel 7:30pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Weds November 11 to Sat November 14 THEATRE: Verdict by Agatha Christie presented by The Western Players 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon Wednesday November 11 DANCE: Taste 8pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT COMEDY: Josh Widdicombe - What Do I Do Now? 8pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square,

Swindon CONCERT: An Evening with Donovan 7:30pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Thurs November 12 to Sat November 14 THEATRE: The Edge 7:45pm - The Salberg, Salisbury Playhouse, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury Thursday November 12 COMEDY: Dave Gorman – Gets Straight To The Point*… (*The Powerpoint) 8pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon COMEDY: Jenny Eclair: ‘How To Be A Middle Aged Woman (Without Going Insane)’ 8pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Friday November 13 DANCE: An Evening of Dirty Dancing 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon FAMILY EVENTS: Steve Backshall 7pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Saturday November 14 CONCERT: Last Night of the Proms 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon CONCERT: The Sensational 60s Experience 2015 7:30pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Sunday November 15 COMEDY: Robert Newman - The Brain Show 8pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon CONCERT: The Sensational 60’s Experience 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Tues November 17 to Sat November 21 COMEDY: Round The Horne 7:30pm - Salisbury Playhouse, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7RA Wednesday November 18 FILM: Swindon Film Society - Lilting 7:45pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon MAGIC: Sally Morgan 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Thursday November 19 COMEDY: Ed Byrne – Outside, Looking In

Theatre & Comedy List 8pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon

7:30pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU

COMEDY: Hal Cruttenden - Straight Out of Cruttenden 8pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon Friday November 20

FAMILY EVENTS: I Believe in Unicorns 2pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Sunday November 22

CONCERT: Thank You For The Music 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon CONCERT: The Queen Extravaganza 8pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU CONCERT: Huun Huur Tu 8pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Saturday November 21 COMEDY: Jason Byrne – 20 Years A Clown 8pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon CONCERT: Swindon Recital Series – Kismet 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon CONCERT: Show of Hands

in association with Ringwood Brewery www.ringwoodbrewery.co.uk

CONCERT: Kentwood Christmas Cracker 4pm to 10pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Tues November 24 to Sat November 28 FAMILY EVENTS: A Christmas Carol – Presented by Musical Theatre Salisbury City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury Tues November 24 to Sat December 5 THEATRE: Breaking The Ice 10:45am - The Salberg, Salisbury Playhouse, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury Tuesday November 24 THEATRE: Ghost Stories for Christmas 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon Wednesday November 25 FILM: Swindon Film Society - Leviathan 7:45pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon

8pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Friday November 27 COMEDY: Barnstormers Comedy 8:30pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Saturday November 28 CONCERT: His Way - The Frank Sinatra Story 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon CONCERT: Live Lunch: Pete Webber 12pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT CONCERT: Altar Club: Shanty 8pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Sunday November 29 POETRY: Pam Ayres 5pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU COMEDY: Rob Beckett - Mouth of the South 8pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon

COMEDY: Jeremy Hardy

A stampede of White Horses comes to Pewsey

By Mike Barham The White Horses of Wiltshire and Oxfordshire are widely known and admired, and the Theatre Des Bicyclettes have created a family orientated poetic performance around our counties’ iconic chalk steeds called ‘The Nine White Horses’.

They will be bringing the performance to Pewsey Heritage Museum on Sunday November 15.

Basing the performance on the ‘perceptions and open imaginations of their audience’ the poetry and drama is all the brainchild of founder and writer Robert Stredder, who journeyed around the Wiltshire and Oxfordshire Downs in the spirit of the Brontes on the Yorkshire Moors.

The poems especially highlight the “dramatic intensity” of the chalk carvings and their everyday visitors, focusing heavily on the horse at Uffington Castle, the oldest of the nine.

The show is for all, historians, walkers and for those who are interested in the White Horse Trail. Children of all ages will be included in the performance at the end of the tale, becoming actual horses and ponies if they feel like

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getting dressed up!

As a mix of live music, poetry, dance and drama, the Nine White Horses is an historically rich performance guaranteed to entertain but also peek the curiosity around our area’s most iconic symbols of heritage and civilisation.

To find out more about the Pewsey performance call 01793 725206.

The White Stuff?

By Mike Barham Following sell-out runs at comedy festivals in Melbourne and Edinburgh, and following his first UK tour this spring, LA actor Miles Allen will tour the UK again this autumn with his hit solo show One Man Breaking Bad - The Unauthorised Parody. The show will be coming to Newbury’s Corn Exchange on Saturday November 7.

The LA actor smacks the senses with his super-charged, hilariously accurate renditions of all the iconic characters, including Walter White, Jesse, Saul, Skyler, Hank, Walt Junior, Mike and Gus Fring.

Allen’s incredible impersonations break all five seasons down into one, exhilarating, and uproarious tour-de-force parody performance.

So to dive a little deeper into this unique show, we sat down for a chat with Mr Allen to get an idea of the man behind the monster: How would you describe One Man Breaking Bad? It’s a farcical love letter to all the people who went through the bloodbath and tears of Breaking Bad and who are wanting to kind of go on a nostalgia trip and laugh at all the different things that made it so special to them. It follows roughly the same timeline and the same plot points, condensed into a much shorter time frame. It’s like a fusion of solo theatre and stand-up.

Why did you feel Breaking Bad was ripe for parody?

When the show ended, as I’m sure it was for many other people, it was like ‘What am I gonna watch now Breaking Bad just ended?’ I realised there was this huge love and desire to see the characters re-enacted through the YouTube video of mine that went viral in September 2013. It sort of developed from there.

How would you sum up the essence of, say, Walter and Jesse?

[Doing an impression of the voices] Walt is very determined and he feels underappreciated so he’s constantly trying to prove himself but always for his family, he says. Since he’s so smart he really believes he’s the best and that comes out in his alter ego Heisenberg. He’s this over-qualified high school chemistry teacher who could have been making millions or billions of dollars with Grey Matter, the company he left and then became very successful. So he’s got this huge inferiority complex he’s trying to get over.

And with Jesse it’s so funny how he starts out like this character who we all perceive as a lowlife with not much going for him. Originally [creator] Vince Gilligan and the writers were going to kill him off at the end of the first

Theatre

‘Meth’od actor Miles Allen brings the Walt and Jessie show to Newbury

season, but his character become so much more complex in terms of why he chose to go into the drug business and how he actually is this really talented craftsman. He actually becomes more of a protagonist for us towards the end of the show than Walt is. We sympathise with him more because he’s still trying to do good and he experiences a lot of pain, whereas with Walt’s character it’s weird because our protagonist becomes more distant from us. We start to disassociate ourselves from him. I don’t know many shows that have done that and it’s what I find so riveting about the show.

Was there anything that surprised you about the audience reaction when you did One Man Breaking Bad in Melbourne and Edinburgh?

I was entirely shocked because it’s the first one-man show I’ve ever done. I’ve been an actor and a comedian but it was my first attempt at doing an hour-long-format and I was surprised by how much fun they had.

Are you looking forward to taking the show around the UK? I’m really excited about that. I did it in Scotland but I’ve not been to other parts of the UK. I think it’s an amazing opportunity and I can’t wait to go around all the various regions of the UK and perform. Hopefully they’ll enjoy it as much as everyone else has. www.cornexchangenew.com

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Theatre Hannah and Luke Marquez of Shoebox Theatre

The Shoebox Theatre

A new theatre will be opening in Swindon in Spring 2016 called The Shoebox Theatre, on the site of the Post Modern Art Gallery. The idea of the new space is to cater for new, contemporary and experimental performances and is being partly funded by The Arts Council. Jamie Hill spoke to artistic director Luke Marquez and his wife Hannah, the marketing director, about the new project and what it will bring to Swindon’s cultural landscape.

Talking to Shoebox Theatre’s artistic director Luke Marquez is like talking to a child in a sweet shop. His eyes are gleaming with excitement and he is finding it hard to contain his passion.

He said: “We only just received the keys on Monday. It’s still a lot to get our heads around.”

We are standing with his wife Hannah, the marketing director, in the empty shell that is the Post Modern Art Gallery in Theatre Square in Swindon. All the walls are white (apart from a single Billy Beaumont painting) as if the space is a blank canvas waiting to be filled by the up and coming Shoebox Theatre.

“We are hoping to open the new theatre in the spring next year. We are pretty excited at the moment just imagining all the possibilities.”

The couple originally founded Wrong Shoes Theatre Company in 2009 as a company specialising in site specific and devised theatre.

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Their vision for the new site, which will have about 50 seats once it it transformed and is being run in collaboration with Artsite, is that it will be for contemporary and original work and will offer something different to what The Wyvern Theatre and Swindon Arts Centre offer.

Hannah said: “Part of our remit for funding is to provide a space that can be a hotbed of creativity. We want theatre companies to use us for performances that will bring something new to the area. The other theatres are fantastic at what they do but we’ll be looking to put on more leftfield and more experimental works. This will not necessarily lead to bums on seats.”

At the moment, the committee behind the theatre have not exactly worked out how much they will charge people to use their space but have assured us that it will be reasonable.

Luke said: “A company putting on a new production at

Theatre

Wrong Shoes present their promenade production The Gathering

The Arts Centre and Wyvern will have to take a huge financial risk to get the space in the first place. We want to offer a cheaper alternative so that the financial risk is not so great. In that way people can take a few more risks and be more creative in what they do.

“Obviously, as part of our funding, they will have to fulfil certain criteria that it is an original piece of work for us to be able to put it on, but at least we’re able to give a space to new work here, whether it is art exhibitions, live music, dance or theatre.”

Wrong Shoes Theatre Company itself is a devised theatre company, which means that the performance and script is created during rehearsals around a theme to come up with a complete work. It is a form of theatre where the script originates not from a writer or writers, but from collaborative, usually improvisatory, work by a group of people (usually, but not necessarily, the performers). The venue is currently being used for several beginners and advanced devised theatre workshops.

Over the past few years the company has performed several shows including one called Anima, a darkly futuristic tale that ended up being critically acclaimed on the Edinburgh Fringe, and several performances at The Post Modern Art Gallery including The Magnificent Doctor Faustus and The Gathering, a promenade performance

Wrong Shoes present The Magnificent Doctor Faustus

that took people on a magical Valentines journey.

The company prides itself on its attention to detail especially when it comes to props and costume design and even works with local students at Commonweal to get things right.

Luke said: “We’ve always found Swindon to be a hugely cultural place. There’s so much talent right here on our doorstep and we’re hoping that we can be a part of a massively buzzing cultural quarter in the town.

“We want this talent to stay in Swindon and to have the facilities to really shine in Swindon without having to go elsewhere. This space is going to be transformed into a multi-pupose theatre space and will be a major asset for the town.”

To find out more details visit www.wrongshoes.co.uk

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Comedy

Straight outta Cruttenden!

Hal takes part in the comedy Game of Thrones

Hal Cruttenden has become a bit of a household name in the last few years but he hasn’t let it go to his head (much). This month he heads to Swindon with new show ‘Straight Outta Cruttenden’. He will be appearing at Swindon Arts Centre on Thursday November 19. Jamie Hill had a chat.

Hal Cruttenden is a comedian that you would instantly recognise. He seems to be on your telly every time you turn it on.

Panel shows, Live at the Apollo plus John Bishop’s show have all featured a bit of Hal’s wittiness.

His new stand-up tour is called ‘Straight Outta Cruttenden’ and will be coming to Swindon Arts Centre on Thursday November 19.

“My stand-up’s got nothing to do with NWA, you know.

I don’t do a routine about Californian rap pioneers. The name just sounded good.” He said. “I must admit when I came up with the name of the tour I didn’t even know that Straight Outta Compton was coming out as a film. It’s just lucky timing I guess. I went and saw it last night. It’s pretty good. I just hope that my comedy tour being called what it is, will give them the publicity that they need to make the film a success.”

In the new tour Hal rants about the real evils of the modern world - over sharing on social media and the 5:2 diet. The hungrier he gets the funnier he becomes. Hal also gives us his unique insights on being an orphan on Facebook, taking his wife to Saudi Arabia and how he knew George Osbourne at school (or Gideon as he was then) and personally blames him every time he puts up the price of petrol.

He said: “The show is basically about me and my life.

I think you’ll leave the theatre knowing a lot more about me than you did before you came in. Hopefully you’ll be smiling.

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“I must admit, I love doing stand-up and I think I’m funnier than ever at the moment. So you should definitely come along to catch me at my peak.

“I think a lot of people just don’t realise that stand-up is a proper craft that you learn. The more experience you have the better you become. You don’t just go out on stage and are instantly funny. You need to rehearse and learn each joke and work out what material is good and which should be ditched.

“You have mechanisms in place now on how you can deal with most crowds. Ways you can deal with heckles.

You don’t have that when you’re starting out but as you learn the craft you get better and better.”

Hal currently has two shows in development and has also just recorded a pilot with Sue Perkins called ‘Insert Name Here’. He has had two Radio 4 series in the past year and a third is in the pipeline.

He said: “Good stand-up is all about trust. The audience have to trust you. And you have to be able to control a room and I mean have absolute control of a room. Comedians are basically the fascist dictators of the light entertainment world in that way. We’re all control freaks.

“I’m constantly working on new material. It’s easy for comedians to become complacent and to rely on the old material but I believe you’ve got to constantly be upping your game.”

For tickets to see ‘Straight Outta Cruttenden visit www.swindontheatres.co.uk

November Listings Mon 2nd Ocelot Comedy Night 8pm free Thurs 5th Songs of Praise presents 8pm free Fri 6th Ferocious Dog + Gaz Brookfield 8pm £8adv £10dr Sat 7th Abba Sensation + compere Miss Cherry Bomb 8pm £10 Tues 10th Poet’s Night 8pm free Thurs 12th John Ellis 8pm £6adv £8dr Fri 13th Vice Versa 8pm free Sat 14th Rorke’s Drift 8pm free Tues 17th Funky Hot Jam Night 8pm free Thurs 19th Songs of Praise presents The Southern

Harmony + Edd Donovan and the

Wandering Moles + Tamsin Quinn 8pm £3 Fri 20th The Teddy White Band 8pm free Sat 21st Still Marillion + David Waddington 8pm £8 Tues 24th Open Mic Night 8pm free Fri 27th Absolva + Special Guests 8pm free Sat 28th Just Floyd 8pm £6adv £7dr

Live Music Shaun Buswell usually gets so into the music his beard falls off

Challenge Buswell

By Camellia Sinclair

Swindon’s Shaun Buswell, ‘musician, comedian, radio presenter, charity challenger and motivational speaker’ (see his website), loves setting himself challenges. And challenges don’t come much bigger than his latest.

For ten days next month (November 5-14), Buswell will be performing with an orchestra in ten different places.

Sounds straightforward, except each night Buswell will be performing with a different orchestra, made up of people that he has not yet met. These pop-up orchestras have some crazy conditions, inspired by Buswell’s hope that strangers might make beautiful music together: • Each musician has to live within fifty miles of each of the venues.

• Musicians cannot be hired through adverts and payment will not be discussed.

• The setlist each night is chosen at random by a member of the audience from a 1000-page score.

• By the end of the challenge Buswell has to have played with at least 100 different musical people.

Buswell sees this ‘social experiment’ as a chance to

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explore the kindness of strangers brought together through a common musical cause. This isn’t the first time that he has climbed such a musical mountain. In 2012, his ‘Underground Orchestra Challenge’ brought together 68 strangers that Buswell had met in or around the London Underground, and this year he has also pulled off similar orchestral stunts at the Edinburgh Fringe and Glastonbury Festivals. These feats have given Buswell something of a musical notoriety, Janet Street-Porter recently writing that he should be allowed to ‘play at Clarence House’.

If you think that the chance to glimpse such a unique musical social experiment might come at a hefty price then think again. Each random orchestral excursion is absolutely free. The challenge is being crowd-sourced, with every participating musician, including Buswell himself, receiving an equal share of the funds.

So, if you’d like to catch this one-off tour while you have the chance, Buswell and other local Swindon musicians will be performing at the Museum & Art Gallery on Saturday November 14, supported by White Lilac and George Wilding.

There will be two performances on the Saturday including a matinee that Shaun promises will be child friendly.

To get involved or book a seat visit the website at www.orchestrachallenge.com for more information about the project or about the musical maverick himself.

This is New Music

Discovering the acts of tomorrow with our new music specialist Mark Muggeridge

This is... Holy Holy Frontman Timothy Carroll and guitarist Oscar Dawson were both leading somewhat transient lives when they started writing music together. However luckily something clicked between the two and a set of demos became the nexus which coalesced into a debut album, When the Storms Will Come which is getting music fans and critics really quite excited. The two selfdescribed ‘music tragics’ bonded over Neil Young, Crosby, Stills & Nash, and contemporary acts like Midlake, Band Of Horses and Grizzly Bear. However don’t expect imitation from Holy Holy who give us a unique take on transcendental,

nu­-progressive power rock. In the studio they worked with reclusive producer Matt Redlich who encouraged them to follow their instincts giving us sonorous, sublime melodies augmented by strong powerful guitars and big vocals.

Holy Holy’s live show is as exciting as the recordings, rhythmically­dense drumming from Ryan Strathie and fine bass work from Graham Ritchie add an atmosphere which will help make this outfit a festival favourite very quickly. When Storms Will Come is out now.

Key Tracks: House of Cards, ­Like a Dog holyholymusic.com

This is... Royce Wood Junior Soul as a style of music has continued to have a revival via a number of young artists whom in many ways are reinventing what it’s all about. Fitting right into that category is Royce Wood Junior but that’s where the comparison ends because the producer and multiinstrumentalist really does have a unique sound that defies comparisons. His latest single, Honeydripper is treacly funk exaggerated by a sticky drum stomp and gloriously squelchy, metallic guitar work. It comes off the album, Ashen Tang which was released back in June this year. As a side note, check out the artwork on RWJ’s

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This is...Kolidescopes Dance music genres come and go, but House music in all it’s various guises is still the one style that will get the most reluctant dancer up on the floor for a shuffle and sway.

Soundtracking those moves could soon be new production duo Kolidescopes.

Their debut offering, Back to You is a reflective look back at Summer past and fun times remembered. Laid back and wistful it will bring a smile to your face whilst the solid driving beat will take you into the future, chasing away the chance at any melancholy. The duo comprises of producers Dan Dare and Yeah Boy. Dan is the hitmaker responsible for some cracking tracks from the likes of Wiley, Wretch 32, Charli XCX and Marina And The Diamonds. Its super early days for the boys so it will be interesting to see what else comes of this collaboration.

For now check out Back to You via Waxploitation Records. facebook. com/Kolidescopes/

previous releases. He’s a man who clearly enjoys a bit of commercial design ­see if you can name the various logo’s he’s tipping his hat to. Prior to stepping into the limelight with his own genre­bending electro­soul jams, Royce cut his teeth behind­the­scenes working as a songwriter, producer and remixer. It’s experience that has served him well with many of the other tracks on the album providing resplendent listening. His live shows have been getting great word­-of-­mouth and as an artist in his own right Royce is sounding like he will appeal to a very wide. Key Tracks: Clanky Love, Midnight roycewoodjunior.com

Hamsters From Hell Local legends of pub-rock bring their spectacularly chaotic rhythm ‘n’ booze Songs of Praise present: Pete Fij / Terry Bickers, Familiars + The King In Mirrors

Former Adorable/Polak & House of Love/Levitation men sound like a three in the morning jam in which Johnny Cash, The Velvet Underground & The Everley Brothers try not to wake the neighbours.

Songs of Praise present: All Ears Avow + Freefall A hefty slab of alt-rock, mixing up metal sounds with pop-punk melodies.

Songs of Praise present: Raze*Rebuild + The Doctors Pond Well-crafted, heartfelt tunes, with big choruses and catchy hooks - rock, punk, folk, indie, country themes pop up all over.

Songs of Praise present: The Greasy Slicks + The Harlers It’s blues-rock for the modern age, the soundtrack of a bourbon soaked bar brawl.

Songs of Praise present: To

be Confirmed One Chord Wonders

Incendiary set of iconic songs from one of the tightest punk cover bands on the circuit.

Songs of Praise present: Echoic + Middlenamekill Highly melodic alt-rock from two master practitioners.

Fri 6th - The Crash Landings + Support Fri 13th - Stormfly + Support Fri 20th - Pugwall + Support Fri 27th - Bands TBA

Groovers on Manouevres

Dave Franklin is our man about town when it comes to the Swindon music scene. This month he looks at the mysterious Mr Dog The Bear

I Am Jack’s Broken Heart - Mr Dog The Bear

By Dave Franklin Who is Mr Dog The Bear?

It is the product of two Italian college friends. It is the sideline project of a famous musician maintaining their anonymity. It is the experimentation of a group of Japanese students. It is the secret communication between two ostracised Americans. It is based on truth, it is all a lie, it is none of the above and it is not what you think.

I love the fact that even the small amount of on-line information the band/artist/studio/project has is clearly a smokescreen. But I do know that maybe if we stopped fixating on the people who make music, their every move and utterance and just embraced their product we might be in an altogether better place

culturally speaking.

I Am Jack’s Broken Heart is the soundtrack to a film that is yet to be made or maybe one that exists in the head of each person listening to it.

A series of instrumental statements that conjure scenes and scenarios of a fleeting cinematic memory or a glimpse of the future. Ranging from atmospheric minimalism, though slowburning post-rock dynamic builds, to soaring anthemic crescendos, it covers a lot of ground even within each individual track.

It is music based on mood rather than message, music that depicts scenes rather than tells stories, music about images rather than ideas. It is music of the immersion tank, just exist within it, become one with it, heavy meditation, a solitary experience.

Some music is aimed at the brain, intelligent and intricate, some at the heart, emotive and alluring, Mr Dog The Bear does nothing less than aim for your very soul.

Who is Mr Dog The Bear? Who cares, just listen.

‘Jovial’ new venue in Swindon

By Mike Barham With recent national news focusing on the decline of live music venues, it’s good to see another establishment owner taking the plunge and opening the doors to the gig-going community.

The Jovial Monk, located on St Andrews Ridge, is the newest addition to the Swindon scene, and already has a long list of bookings for November and December (see listings section for details).

Under new management and boasting a great atmosphere, the open mic every Friday night is a stand out part of the new vision for the pub and another step in the right direction for venues in Swindon, and the Wiltshire area as a whole.

Since the recent changes to the law governing events in pubs, many have taken up the challenge of putting their own live music events on, with open mic nights springing up left right and centre. But the ‘Monk’ seeks to stand apart from its rivals and offer a platform for every performer.

With regular theme nights, pub quizs, and Live Music every Saturday night, there’s always something happening, which is great news for the St Andrews Ridge area.

If you get a chance, head on over to this new venue, maybe try your hand at singing a few songs at the Open Mic event. Take the chance to get involved with your local music scene and welcome the ‘Jovial Monk’ to the fold.

Their upcoming events in November include: Fri 6 – Funk Clamentals Fri 27th – Locarno Beat Sat 28th – Nightshift

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Gig Monkey Gig Monkey, AKA Ed Dyer, is a primate on a mission to discover as much quality original music as possible. Send your reviews to ed@theocelot.co.uk

Gig Monkey goes review crazy

The Kaos really need to learn how to spell ‘chaos’

No live review this month. Instead I have some cracking records (well, CDs and downloads mostly, although the Case Hardin album is available on vinyl) to let you all know about. If you like the sound of something, please do go and buy it, it is what keeps all these bands going. I have helpfully included links to make this easy for you, so no excuses!

The Kaos – The Philosophy

These guys are one of the first bands I ever reviewed live, so it was nice to check out their new material and see how they have progressed.

The answer in some ways is not far, in others its miles!

They still ply a very recognisable, generic trade in poppunk.

If you are familiar with Blink 182, New Found Glory or All Time Low then you are half way there - certainly not particularly original stuff.

But, the intervening years (four, almost exactly, since that night at The Swan in Wantage) have seen big strides in the quality of the songs, and there is a great, jump up and down, smile on face, sense of fun with these tunes, which, let’s be honest, is what you expect and want from a pop-punk record.

To find out where you can catch them locally visit their Facebook page at www.facebook.com/TheKaosOfficial

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Middlenamekill – Choose Your Own Adventure Once again Salisbury alt-rock monsters Middlenamekill land us with a full album. Never any messing around with these guys, it is long format or nothing it seems, even if it takes forever to arrive -predecessor When Lions Fight Bears was released over 4 years ago! But, the wait is more than worth it as this is another superb album, wellcrafted and very much nurtured into existence. Like the previous record it is loaded with killer melodies, huge hooks and massive riffs. Loaded to such an extent in fact it is reminiscent of what I imagine having a kung fu fist fight with a naked Scarlett Johansson is like – leaving you battered and bruised but oh so happy and elated. Whilst there is nothing as immediate as Eject Eject Eject or In the House Of The Witch, this a more consistent, developed record and something that if life was fair would propel these guys upa musical division or two. Get it at: www. middlenamekill.com

Gig Monkey

Case Hardin - sublime stuff from the live stalwarts

Case Hardin – Colours Simple

Much more immediate and upbeat (musically, certainly not in tone) than predecessor PM, Colours Simple ups the ante considerably, swapping the melancholic acoustic guitar, piano and violin focused musical base for a more raucous, electric guitar led sound that makes so much more of the whole group’s musicality. In short, this is much more of a “band” record, less reliant on the whisky soaked drawl of Pete Gow and the artistry of his words to steer the songs, much more driven by Jim Mavin’s pitch-perfect guitar work and the slick work of the rhythm section. That’s not to say that this lyrical aspect of the band is missing, it is still there, proudly front and centre as always with atmospheric tales of broken lives, hapless characters and the cruelty of fate. This flawless combination of world weary tales flawed characters and more rocked up country tunes have created possibly the finest album I have heard for some time. You really need a copy of this in your collection. Get it at www.casehardin.com

Raze*Rebuild – Sting Like a Butterfly

This band was once called Coasters, but musically unlikely confusion with the 50’s Doo-Wop band has necessitated the moniker change. This isn’t all that has changed however as the music is better, bigger and much bolder than before (and it was damn good in the first place).

Taking copious notes from the Chuck Ragan / The Bronx / Gaslight Anthem book of rock n roll instruction this is a muscular, melodic masterpiece of punk-americana. The songs are heartfelt, confessional and honest, built around outrageous hooks and massive guitar riffs but somehow also layered, delicate and accessible. Frontman Si Hall, as well as being possessed of one of the best razor-blade voices in the business, has turned out to be a songwriter of depth, skill and precision, which when teamed with the musical chops of the rest of band results in a project that has some serious potential. Get it at: razerebuild. bandcamp.com

With Ghosts really like hanging around haunted houses

With Ghosts – Endings

More local pop-punk, this time from Swindon. Despite having plenty stacked against it, this is looking increasingly like it is this the genre that refuses to die, which is no bad thing. This record, the band’s debut, is exactly what you want from that genre – upbeat, melodic and fun with contagious hooks, crunching guitars and thumping rhythms. It is pacey too; it shifts along at a hell of rate, the songs not hanging round long enough to be anything other than catchy and leaving you wanting more. I wasn’t really expecting to like this quite as much as I do, which is always a nice experience. Surprises like this are what is so great about new music. Get it at: www.withghosts.bigcartel.com

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Live Music

Traditional celtic folk with a ‘Ferocious’ bite!

Ferocious Dog - The bane of many a postman

By Mike Barham Creating their own take on Traditional Celtic folk, Ferocious Dog takes the traditional instruments; fiddles, whistles, mandolins and mixes them up with a bit of, raw, buzz saw rock n’ roll attitude.

With their unique, aggressive yet feel-good music they tear up venues across the country often bringing their faithful Hell Hounds along for the ride.

Their new guitarist is Les Carter of the Unstoppable Sex Machine fame (frequently shortened to Carter USM).

Carter USM headlined Glastonbury The Pyramid Stage in 1992, and Ken and Dan were there in the audience…. and now he is a member of Ferocious Dogs. Dreams do come true.

They made history this year by becoming the only unsigned act to ever sell out the Rescue Rooms in Nottingham, not only once but twice. With a successful 2014 autumn tour including sold-out shows, and with their new guitarist, 2015 is already looking bright, catch this band whilst you can – you will not be disappointed, they are a force to be reckoned with on stage.

“As someone who has played with the Levellers,

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Oysterband and Wonderstuff… Ferocious Dog are carrying on the tradition of folk rock the way it was meant to be done” – Dan Donnelly.

“The bite, here, is as fierce as the bark. But Ferocious Dog makes subtly persuasive sounds, too. In a field full of would-be wolves… They’re out for a long run.” – Nick Burbridge.

Folk punk says it all. Consider the band’s name’, Ferocious Dog leaves little room for doubt. Then again, there’s a lot to be said for removing ambiguity from the outset. And that’s what you get from Ferocious Dog’s selftitled debut album – nothing ambiguous, nothing diluted, nothing toned down – just pedal-tothe- metal, high-energy folk punk.

And to give their Swindon date of the tour even MORE bite, the irrepressible Gaz Brookfield will be supporting “the Dog” with his usual mix of rural charm, cider driven honesty and razor sharp wit. Definitely a show that CANNOT be missed!

They are playing The Vic on the November 6 supported by local favourite Gaz Brookfield.

Tickets: £8 (adv) £10 (door) Doors: 8pm. Box Office: 01793 535713

in association with Ringwood Brewery www.ringwoodbrewery.co.uk Sunday November 1 We Will Remember Them 3pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Festival of Remembrance – Swindon Royal British Legion 1pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Big Band Brunch 12pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT DVP PRESENTS : ROCK/METAL ALL DAYER 2pm - Level 3, 73 Commercial Road, Swindon, SN1 5NX Rival Attraction 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA Tuesday November 3 Bradford on Avon Folk Club presents Singaround 8pm - Swan Hotel, Church Street, Bradford on Avon Wednesday November 4 LUNCHTIME RECITALS – BRAHMS TO BROADWAY 1:05pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Busch Ensemble – CLASSICAL / JEAN HORSFALL MEMORIAL CONCERT 7:30pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire, BA15 1DZ Songs of Praise (unplugged): Drew Bryant 9pm - The Roaring Donkey, 6 Albert St, Swindon, Wiltshire SN1 3HJ Thursday November 5 The Simon & Garfunkel Story 7pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU The Swan BOA - Blues Night 8:30pm - The Swan 1 Church Street Bradford on Avon Wiltshire BA15 1LN

Gig List

Banksy 9pm - The Dolphin, Rodbourne Rd, Swindon, Wiltshire SN2 2AF

7:30pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire, BA15 1DZ

Lewis Creavan Band 9pm - The Rolleston Arms, 73 Commercial Rd, Swindon SN1 5NX

Bob Bowles 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA

Funk Clamentals 8pm - The Jovial Monk, Highdown Way, Blunsdon St Andrew, Swindon SN25 4YD

Monday November 9 That’ll Be The Day - 30th Anniversary Special 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon

ZING 9pm - Cross Keys, High St, Royal Wootton Bassett, Swindon, Wiltshire SN4 7AY Dynamite Pussy Club + The Linup Brothers 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA Saturday November 7 Into The Shadows 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon Live Lunch: Effra 12pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Abba Sensation + Miss Cherry Bomb as Compère 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon Sir Scallywag And The Battle Of Stinky Bottom 6pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire, BA15 1DZ Ensemble 360 7:30pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire, BA15 1DZ Big Al 8pm - The Jovial Monk, Highdown Way, Blunsdon St Andrew, Swindon SN25 4YD Angel Up Front 8:30pm - The Crumpled Horn, Eldene Centre, Swindon SN3 3RZ

Friday November 6

The Killertones 8:30pm - The Green Dragon, 12-13 High St, Marlborough SN8 1AA

The Illegal Eagles 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon

Corsairs 8:30pm - The Tap and Barrel, Manchester Rd, Swindon SN1 2AF

Ferocious Dog + Gaz Brookfield 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon

The Tinshack Band 9:30pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon SN5 5EZ

Hamsters From Hell 10pm - The Locomotive, 59 Fleet Street, Swindon

Edsel Furys + The Bucky Rage 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA

The Lonely Tourist 8pm - The Bridge Inn, Horton, Devizes

Sunday November 8 Cantamus Chamber Choir

Devizes Folk Club presents Robin Mitchell 8pm - The Lamb Inn, St John’s Street, Devizes Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel 7:30pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Tuesday November 10 Poets’ Night 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon Bradford on Avon Folk Club presents Commonground 8pm - Swan Hotel, Church Street, Bradford on Avon Wednesday November 11 An Evening with Donovan 7:30pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Songs of Praise (unplugged): Grant Sharkey 9pm - The Roaring Donkey, 6 Albert St, Swindon, Wiltshire SN1 3HJ The Swan BOA Irish Session 8:30pm - The Swan Hotel, 1 Church St, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LN Thursday November 12 John Ellis 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon Friday November 13 Vice Versa 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon Songs of Praise present: All Ears Avow + Freefall 10pm - The Locomotive, 59 Fleet Street, Swindon Stormfly + Support 8pm - Winchester Gate, Rampart Road, Salisbury Poplar Jake & The Electric Delta Review 9pm - Rolleston Arms, 73 Commercial Rd, Swindon SN1 5NX

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Gig list Grubby Jack 9pm - The Tunnel House Inn, Tarlton Road, Cirencester GL7 6PW Elvis 9pm - Ferndale Club, 131 Ferndale Rd, Swindon SN2 1BX Severance 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA Saturday November 14 Last Night of the Proms 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon The Sensational 60s Experience 2015 7:30pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Do You Know How To Groove? With Nyjo quintet and Mark Armstrong 2pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford On Avon, BA15 1DZ Rorke’s Drift 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon Jazz Stands For Freedom – Improvisation Workshop 3:30pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford On Avon, Wiltshire, BA15 1DZ National Youth Jazz Orchestra 7:30pm - Ashley Road, Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire, BA15 1DZ Songs of Praise present: Raze*Rebuild + The Doctors Pond 10pm - The Locomotive, 59 Fleet Street, Swindon Midlife Crisis 8pm - The Jovial Monk, Highdown Way, Blunsdon St Andrew, Swindon SN25 4YD Hamsters From Hell 8:30pm - The Green Dragon, 12-13 High St, Marlborough SN8 1AA Dirty Thrills 9pm - Level 3, 73 Commercial Road, Swindon Kova Me Badd 9:30pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon SN5 5EZ Electric Guitar Blues Review 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA Sunday November 15 The Sensational 60’s Experience 7:30pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Trowbridge Sings!

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in association with Ringwood Brewery www.ringwoodbrewery.co.uk 6pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford On Avon, BA15 1DZ Kevin Lovatt (Johnny Cash Tribute) 6pm - The Castle Inn, 28 Prospect Pl, Swindon SN1 3LQ The Bright Eyes 3pm - Ferndale Club, 131 Ferndale Rd, Swindon SN2 1BX Monday November 16 Conrad Keely (Solo) AKA Frontman for “….And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead” + Support 7pm - The Fold (upstairs) at The Lamb, 20 St.John’s St, Devizes SN10 1BT Tuesday November 17 Bradford on Avon Folk Club presents Singaround 8pm - Swan Hotel, Church Street, Bradford on Avon Funky Hot Jam Night 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon Jonathan James – The Baroque Violin 11:30am - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford On Avon, BA15 1DZ Wednesday November 18 St Laurence School – CON SPIRITO! 7:30pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford On Avon, Wiltshire, BA15 1DZ Songs of Praise (unplugged): Joe Murphy (Sgt BuzFuz) 9pm - The Roaring Donkey, 6 Albert St, Swindon, Wiltshire SN1 3HJ The Swan BOA Trad. Jazz Session with ‘The New Academic Feetwarmers’ 8:30pm - The Swan Hotel, 1 Church St, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LN Thursday November 19 Songs of Praise present: The Southern Harmony, Edd Donovan & The Wandering Moles + Tamsin Quin 8:30pm - The Victoria, 88 Victoria Road, Swindon Friday November 20 Thank You For The Music 7:30pm Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon The Queen Extravaganza 8pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Huun Huur Tu 8pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT The Teddy White Band 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon

Orchestra Of The Age Of Enlightenment 7:30pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire, BA15 1DZ Songs of Praise present: The Greasy Slicks + The Harlers 10pm - The Locomotive, 59 Fleet Street, Swindon Sam Dowden 8pm - The Bridge Inn, Horton, Devizes Pugwall + Support 8pm - The Winchester Gate, Rampart Road, Salisbury Johnny2Bad – UB40 Tribute 8pm - Level 3, 73 Commercial Road, Swindon Sons Of Liberty 9pm - The Rolleston Arms, 73 Commercial Road, Swindon Saturday November 21 Swindon Recital Series - Kismet 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon Show of Hands 7:30pm - City Hall, Malthouse Ln, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP2 7TU Still Marillion + David Waddington 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon Park Lane Big Band and The Marionettes 7pm - M.E.C.A. Swindon Regents Circus Swindon, Wiltshire SN1 1PR Foxhat 8:30pm - The Crumpled Horn, Eldene Centre, Swindon SN3 3RZ Humdinger 8:30pm - The Green Dragon, 12-13 High St, Marlborough SN8 1AA Innes Sibun 9pm - The Rolleston Arms, 73 Commercial Road, Swindon Penfold 9:30pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon SN5 5EZ Bohemian Embassy 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA Sunday November 22 Kentwood Christmas Cracker 4pm to 10pm - Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon Huun-Huur-Tu 7:30pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford On Avon, Wiltshire, BA15 1DZ

in association with Ringwood Brewery www.ringwoodbrewery.co.uk James Hollingsworth 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA

One Chord Wonders 10pm - The Locomotive, 59 Fleet Street, Swindon

Tuesday November 24 Bradford on Avon Folk Club presents John Gotting 8pm - Swan Hotel, Church Street, Bradford on Avon

Locarno Beat 8pm - The Jovial Monk, Highdown Way, Blunsdon St Andrew, Swindon SN25 4YD

Calne Jazz Club 7pm - Marden House, Calne, SN11 0JJ Open Mic 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon BoA Folk Club Present – John Goting (Johnny G) 8pm - The Swan Hotel, 1 Church St, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LN Wednesday November 25 Anthony Bailey Clarinet / Emma Richards Viola / Daniel King-Smith Piano 1pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford On Avon, Wiltshire, BA15 1DZ Songs of Praise (unplugged): Jake Martin 9pm - The Roaring Donkey, 6 Albert St, Swindon, Wiltshire SN1 3HJ Thursday November 26 Swansongs 8pm - The Swan Hotel, 1 Church St, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LN Friday November 27 Skaciety + Ted Dibose and the Million Dollar punk band 8:30pm - The Winchester Gate, 113 Rampart Road, Salisbury, Wiltshire, SP1 1JA Absolva + Special Guests 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon

Robbie Williams Tribute 9pm - The Moonrakers, Cricklade Rd, Swindon, Wiltshire SN2 5AA Pussycat and the Dirty Johnsons 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA Saturday November 28 His Way - The Frank Sinatra Story 7:30pm - Swindon Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Swindon Live Lunch: Pete Webber 12pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Altar Club: Shanty 8pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT Just Floyd 8pm - The Victoria, Victoria Road, Swindon Orlando Consort – La Passion De Jeanne D’arc (1928) 7:30pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford On Avon, BA15 1DZ Songs of Praise present: Echoic + Middlenamekill 10pm - The Locomotive, 59 Fleet Street, Swindon Hot Rox, Vice Versa, The Vooz, George Wilding, Toxic, Johnny Warmen’s Magic Bus and Operation 77 8pm - M.E.C.A. Swindon Regents Circus Swindon, Wiltshire SN1 1PR Mad Cow Disease, Eden Lake, Carpet, Mighty Magic Animal + DJ Brave til Midnight!

Gig List

7:30pm - Salisbury Arts Centre, Bedwin Street, Salisbury, SP1 3UT

Nightshift 8pm - The Jovial Monk, Highdown Way, Blunsdon St Andrew, Swindon SN25 4YD Big Al (Penfold) 9pm - Brookhouse, Farm, Middleleaze Dr, Middleleaze, Swindon SN5 5GL Steve Solo 8:30pm - The Crumpled Horn, Eldene Centre, Swindon SN3 3RZ Angel Up Front 8:30pm - The Green Dragon, 12-13 High St, Marlborough SN8 1AA 80s Hair Rock Experience 7:30pm - Level 3, 73 Commercial Road, Swindon Built For Comfort 9pm - The Rolleston Arms, 73 Commercial Road, Swindon Friday Feeling 8:30pm - The Tap and Barrel, Manchester Rd, Swindon SN1 2AF The Bright Eyes 8:30pm - Woodlands Edge, Swindon SN5 5EZ Soul Strutter 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA Monday November 30 The Mike Hoddinott Blues All-Stars 8pm - The Three Horseshoes, Frome Rd, Bradford-on-Avon BA15 1LA Devizes Folk Club presents Jim Mageean & Graeme Knight 8pm - The Lamb Inn, St John’s Street, Devizes Jazz Factory Showcase 8pm - Wiltshire Music Centre, Ashley Road, Bradford On Avon, BA15 1DZ

Conrad Keely blazes a trail into Devizes!

As frontman and founding member of legendary American arty/alternative band, And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, Conrad Keely will be performing in Devizes as part of his short, but prestigious UK tour, adding to the list of incredible acts already flowing through the town on a regular basis.

Not only is Conrad a celebrated musician, he is also an illustrator and graphic novelist in his own right too, and his love of the X-Men has clearly influenced

his work, especially the graphic novels.

His solo performances are set to showcase his abundance of creativity, and feature songs written on the back of Trail of Dead’s tour bus (like so many great musicians) If you have heard how high the standard of shows being put on in Devizes is, and haven’t had the chance to get to one yet, this is definitely the perfect time.

He will be playing The Lamb at 7pm on November 16.

Conrad likes having a light relaxation time

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Brewery Bird

Can You Taste The Difference?

Yes we can!

The Beer Column by Brewery Bird Following on from her foray last August into the uncharted underworld of canned beer, and news of the country’s first ever Indie Beer Can Competition (hats off to Adnams who took first place with Ghost Ship), Brewery Bird has this month mostly been drinking from said aluminium receptacles in order to bring you an update – it’s a dirty job etc. But with more breweries turning to tin in order to access markets previously closed to the bottle/glass option due to various ‘elf n safety’ considerations, and the continuing rise of ‘craft beer’, has a year made any difference to the selection on offer?

Firstly, let’s look at the can itself. For years these have been seen as the cheaper product in comparison to their bottle counterparts – not helped perhaps by the humungous pallets of cheapy canned lager the supermarkets are always keen to press upon thirsty and cash-strapped customers. Of course, beer in cans has been around for decades, but for the majority, it’s pretty main-stream, consisting of big-brand bitters with, shall we say, little to tickle the taste buds. And then there’s ‘real ale in a bottle’ which many purist beer drinkers consider the only way to drink beer outside of a cask.

Bottle conditioned beer as its otherwise known allows for a secondary fermentation which creates fuller flavours and natural carbonation. But wait, what’s this? Canconditioned beer? Shut. The Front. Door.

The Beers

The Wild Beer Co. Somerset – Fresh Pale Ale 5.5% Funky yellow and black can packaging. Canconditioned. Beer pours cloudy golden, with aromas of zingy grapefruit and lemon. Lashings of smooth yet zingy fresh hops assault the mouth, followed by a light, spicy bitter finish. Very refreshing and very drinkable.

Moor Brewery, Bristol – Return Of The Empire (English IPA) 5.7% Pours a deep golden, with a light haze and enticing floral, hoppy notes. Toasted malt, citrus, grapefruit and grassy hops gently caress the mouth. Light carbonation carries hedgerow hops to a dry bitter finish. A great example of this style of beer.

Harbour, Cornwall - Antipodean IPA 5.5% The aroma is musty-sweet with hints of caramel and citrus. The flavour is predominantly malty with hints of grapefruit, resinous hops and light caramel. A bittersweet finish. Not can-conditioned.

Beavertown, London - Black Betty Black IPA 7.4% Jet black ale, with a lovely creamy tan head. Strong aromas of grapefruit and pineapple with underlying roasted malts assault the nose on opening, teasing the taste-buds. And it doesn’t disappoint. A lovely blend of dark chocolate, liquorice, coffee and zesty bitter hops balanced with a smooth, grassy bitter finish.

Verdict

Labelling-wise the Moor can stands out with clear instruction on how best to store and pour.

When pouring, the opaque packaging means it’s harder to determine how close the sediment is to hitting the glass, but with careful monitoring, it can be done, if this is your preference.

If I didn’t know otherwise, I would have automatically assumed I was drinking bottle-conditioned beers in three out of the four beers tasted. (I hadn’t realised the Harbour wasn’t can-conditioned until I’d taken a few mouthfuls and checked the legend more closely). It just didn’t have as much depth as the others and of course was clear as a bell with no sediment.

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Food and Drink

Chocolate Orange & Hazelnut Biscotti

by Cat Morley With the nights drawing in, something sweet, nutty and appropriately autumnal to brighten the mood this most dark of months – with this guest recipe from www.cutoutandkeep.net – one of the world’s largest craft websites and longtime friends of The Ocelot. We can personally attest that these biscotti are both delicious, and, considering how impressive they look, relatively easy to make. Just watch how fast they fly off the plate on bonfire night!

Ingredients 50 g Ground Almonds 20 g Cocoa 180 g Plain Flour 50 g Chocolate Chips 50 g Toasted Hazelnuts

1 Orange(s) 100 g Sugar 2 Eggs ½ tsp Baking Soda .... And that’s it!

The Step by Step Guide Step One

Whisk together the ground almonds, cocoa, baking soda and plain flour.

Step Two

Whisk together the eggs and sugar.

Step Three

Mix the flour into the eggs.

Step Four

Step Six

Knead the dough into a loaf and place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.

Step Seven

Bake at 180’C for half an hour.

Step Eight

Slice the biscotti and place each slice face up on the baking sheet.

Step Nine

Grate in the zest from the orange and then squeeze in the juice.

Bake at 130’c for 15 minutes and then serve!

Step Five

Step Ten

Add the toasted hazelnuts and chocolate chips.

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Eat them!

’

International Pan of Mystery

Chilli Bean Paste

Your new best friend. Deeply savoury and utterly addictive, this little jar of wonders will take your Chinese cooking (particularly Sichuan-style dishes) to a whole new level.

Made with fermented broad beans and a good kick of those old flavour-boosters chilli, garlic and our good old friend MSG (yes, it’s absolutely fine to use), it’s added to the wok, usually quite early on, as it benefits from cooking into the oil a bit, much like the way whole spices are used in the initial stages of many Indian dishes.

Not only does this turn the cooking oil in your wok a

vibrant red colour, but it starts to release the aromas and give a slight toasty note to the finished dish.

Once it’s at this stage (which in a hot wok, only takes seconds) you simply add your spring onions, ginger, and then your meats and/or vegetables and proceed as normal. It’s an essential ingredient in that most famous of Sichuan ‘homestyle’ dishes – mapa tofu, and twice-fried pork dishes.

Confusingly, the product is sometimes labelled ‘Chilli Bean Sauce’ (as with the popular Lee Kum Kee version shown), but this is interchangeable whenever a recipe calls for ‘chilli bean paste’.

British Sausage Week - Monday November 2 to Saturday November 8 Whilst the British can’t take credit for having invented the sausage, they do hold a special place in the hearts of many Britons. There’s even a British Sausage Appreciation Society which boasts over 7,000 members.

According to the Agriculture and Horticulture Development Board Meat

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Services, 90% of British households buy sausages, 50% at least every four weeks, every day, five million Britons will eat sausages but despite being known worldwide for their wonderful cooked breakfasts which often include sausages, 46% of the total amount of pork sausages consumed are eaten in the evening.

Agony Girl Eight year old Annabel has been answering your questions for four years now. But she’s still a bit mad. We ask her the questions and these are her honest answers.

Dear Annabel, My son seems to be going off the rails. He’s rude and he never listens. He turned 13 this year and I’m worried that we’ll have a serious falling out if he continues to act like this all the time. Should I just let him get on with it and put it down to teenage angst or should I really come down hard on him?

Rosie, Abingdon That sounds like my brother George. Ban him from stuff. His bike if he has one. His computer and his electronics. Send him to the moon if he’s really naughty. Ground him otherwise.

Dear Annabel, I really want to be a pop singer. Do you know any good songs that I could use?

Dierdre, Salisbury Starry Eyed. Or Lady Gaga. I think that’s a song. My cousin Henry fancies her. I know a song ‘Ginny, ginny, ginny is the best, Ginny, ginny, ginny is the best.” That’s a good song.

Ginny’s my cat.

Dear Annabel, What’s it like being eight years old? I’m eighty and I can’t remember it any more!

Eric, Swindon Fun. You can fit in small cracks and hide from people. When my friends were over for a night we were playing hide and seek and they couldn’t find me even though I was just under some pillows with my sister Amy sitting on me. She didn’t fart which was good.

Dear Annabel, I can’t believe that Russia is involving itself in the Syrian

Annabel taking her kitten for a walk

problem and coming down on the side of Assad.

I know his regime might be the lesser of two evils when you compare it to ISIS but it’s still evil and has killed a lot of people. How can we make it so there’s no more war?

Quentin, Oxford Go and fight for yourself and beat everyone up so they don’t fight anymore. Tell the police on them or even the Queen to make it stop.

Dear Annabel, What’s the point in a nuclear missile deterrant if when you use it, it means the end of life as we know it anyway?

Jeremy, Islington I don’t know what detergant means. It all seems rather silly.

Twisted Peel (twistedpeel.thecomicstrip.org )

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By Peter Roy