Off The Wall Fall 09 Week 2

Fall

Week Three

29. Sept. 09

COA Finalizes New Climate Action Plan

On page A3

Course Descriptions You Wish You’d Known

On page F1

Hot! Hot! Heat and the Greenhouse

On page A1

Shit Tons of Poetry Starting on page G2

Life Changing, World Changing On page A2

Sections A. Inside the Bubble B. Outside of the Bubble C. Op-Ed D. Events F. Human Ecology Essays G. Arts & Literature H. Sound Docket

New in Brief with Sasha Paris

Pirates invaded the campus and local mini-golf course on September 19, and had a thoroughly good time. Somehow, most of them left without porcupinefish-inflicted wounds.

A student used beans to disrupt the universal laws of physics.

The classes of 2010 and 2013 were renamed the Codfish and Bottled Waters, respectively.

Pollsters are asking the American public: What are YOUR intuitive notions about where the center of mass of a two-particle system ought to be?

Inside the Bubble Herps in the Greenhouse Other Reasons to Visit that Sunny Corner of Campus

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information on plants or greenhouses, or to use plants for research, a project, or presentation, I’ll do my best to help.

-Jordan Chalfant

If you’re like most incoming students, the only time the campus greenhouse crosses your mind is when you walk toward the doors of the Arts and Sciences building and notice the unobtrusive glass building to your right that looks like someone spilled an enormous carton of milk over the top of it. Or maybe you haven’t even noticed that much, and you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about right now.

Well, even if you have not yet come to appreciate the wonderful resource that the humble greenhouse can be, you will this winter. When your dorm room is so cold that your toes are numb through two pairs of wool socks and L.L. Bean slippers and the only thing that gets you out of bed in the morning is the thought of a cream cheese bagel and a hot cup of tea in TAB, the greenhouse will emerge as the most pleasant place on campus to do homework or to just thaw out a little. You can (almost) always count on it being a balmy 80 degrees and high humidity. (I had to qualify that sentence because sometimes the heater is a bit finicky.) Upstairs there is a lovely little area with couches and a desk for studying.

But the best part is of course the plants! And what better company than our chlorophyllous friends? There’s the little sensitive plant that folds its leaves when you touch it. And the plethora of Crassulas that I’m quite partial to because I can forget about them during week 10 and they’ll still be lovely when I get back to reality. Or the purple fuzzy plant (aka Gynura aurantiaca) that just begs to be petted. And how about those Stapelias on the end of the succulent table that resemble warty, eel-like creatures and smell like rotting flesh when they’re flowering—which they are at the moment, so hurry over to take a whiff.

Things you can’t put in your Internship Report

-Geena Berry Some life lessons that I learned this summer at a Battered Women’s Shelter...thought I would share!

Relationships are fucked up.

This is a somewhat cynical view of the world, but I have realized that relationships generally--not just romantic ones are really messed up. There are very few people who have sat down and talked through what a healthy, stabilizing, “good” relationship is. Manipulation, coercion, abuse (verbal, emotional, psychological, economic, etc.) are not what relationships should be about. Happiness, growth, understanding, and working together to achieve common goals are. We also learn about relationships from the media- images and situations. Chris Brown is a good example. Reports say that Brown has to complete 1,400 or more of community service, however, if he wasn’t a celebrity he would be in jail for a number of years. Thanks Chris for setting a bad example, you suck.

And if that’s not enough to get your botanically deprived butt over to the greenhouse, there’s more than plants!

Over the summer Steve Ressel got some anoles for the greenhouse. We hoped that the small lizards would act as biotic controls of insect pests like mealy bug. At the very least they’re an enormously cute addition. There are two species of anoles: brown and green. Both can be very difficult to find since they usually hide. But on a sunny afternoon, with a little patience, it’s easy to spot them scuttling along the tables and leaping from plant to plant.

Stereotypes are not always true.

At this point, if you’re not at least tempted to stop in and have a look around, well… we have candy! No, actually that’s a lie. You should still feel welcome in the greenhouse. It is yours after all. That being said, the supplies, plants, and lizards are all there because of the hard work and small budget of the greenhouse workers over the years and are not free for the taking. Feel free to stop by to learn more or just to hang out. If you have any questions, please contact me. Whether it’s for

Abuse is a cycle.

Here are the top four TRUTHS that come to mind; these are real. Abuse happens everywhere, to everyone.

Men are abused.

Women are abusers.

You cannot tell who is an abuser, abuse is about power and control.

Domestic violence does not just occur to low income people- thanks to Chris again for being a perfect example.

Violence is a learned habit. People who tend to be violent have been exposed to or have felt abuse in their life. Kids exposed to domestic violence (or child abuse for that matter) are more likely to continue to be victims of violence or to be violent themselves. Familial violence is also cyclical in that no one really addresses the problem, and is never told that it isn’t normal.

A Letter From John Anderson “Of all my restless demons I need you the most….”

Indigo Girls Dear Everyone, The beginning of the school year is always an odd time for me. On the one hand there is the excitement of a new year, new classes, seeing folks I haven’t seen all summer, not having to worry about coastalmarineforecasteastportmainetothemerrimacriverandout25nauticalmiles, brand new students like boxes under the Christmas tree, waiting to be unpacked (some will be great and wonderful, some will be totally heinous, some will pass through here for four years and our paths will never cross), but on the other hand there are moments that I feel profoundly lonely and at a loss. There are all those conversations that I started back in spring that are suddenly over, there are the faces that I have grown used to who are no longer here. I find myself thinking “goodness I need to make sure I tell X about THAT book” or I think “wow, Y is gonna go ape in class this week when we discuss THAT” –- and then I realize that X and Y aren’t with us any more, they have crossed Eden Street and are getting on with their lives.

I comfort myself that it isn’t ever really over. One of the joys of this place is how many former students keep in touch, come back and visit, bring sweethearts, husbands, wives, and these days more and more babies and growing children to be inspected, approved of, and included. How many send me suggestions about classes I should teach, books I should read, places that I just MUST come and visit. It is wonderful, but it still isn’t the same. This Autumn I hope to take Ecology to Isle au Haut for what will probably be the 17th or 18th time.

The island is at its best in October, cool nights with few mosquitoes, the blazing fall colours, the possibility of flickers among the trees. I know I will enjoy it, and yet…. And yet I know here will be the moment when I turn from the end of the dock to start to say something to someone who was there, should be there, but can never be there again.

A2 Results from OTW Poll

Community members were asked to vote on the following question: Please answer the following question by selecting A, B, or C. “When you hear the COA slogan: ‘Life Changing, World Changing’ you think: A. Way Cool B. What-ever C. Totally Lame Here are the results: Life Changing, World Changing Poll Results

17% 44%

39%

Way Cool

What-Ever

Totally Lame

Despite the popularity of “Way Cool” respondents of a B or C answer were the most vocal.

Comments regarding “Totally Lame” “This particular wording makes me want to barf just a little. I think the slogan should incorporate human ecology, as that’s what makes us unique.”

“I think we could have something that doesn’t sound like a prescription drug advertisement”

I think one of the great joys and the great sorrows of this empire of the mind that we call academia is its impermanence. You try to weave a web of intellect, connectivity, sharing, and engagement. If you do it right and have the luck of having the right students at the right place at the right time, you see the possibility of success, and then comes the end of the year & it is all to be done over. I recognize that much of this simply moods and passing fancy, I genuinely look forward to meeting many of you and learning from you even as I try to teach, and, in the end I know that much is as Joan Didion quoted in another context, I am become as Margaret in the poem:

Comments regarding “What-ever”

Margaret are you grieving For golden grove unleaving?…

It is the lot that man was born for, It is Margaret whom you mourn for.

“I think A...except I’m from New England so “Wicked Cool” would be more appropriate.”

Be well, John Anderson

“But I think it goes deeper than that. Totally lame doesn’t quite capture it either. It’s the packaging I reject - but alas, we possibly have no recourse - like a snowball headed for hell in this media driven world” “B. But on a scale of A - C, B.7” “B. But a little higher than Whatever. Maybe like, “Oh, Alright.”

Comments on “Way Cool”

Nation’s Carbon Neutral College Files Plans with ACUPCC, Buys Offsets through Carbonfund.org

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“We are excited to partner with College of the Atlantic, which has been a leader in green campus initiatives,” College of the Atlantic, which has been carbon neutral said Eric Carlson, president of Carbonfund.org. “Colsince December 2007, today announced its most recent leges and universities can have a substantial carbon purchase of carbon offsets which will ensure that the footprint, and we applaud COA for their leadership College will maintain its “net zero” greenhouse gas in developing and implementing strategies including emissions status through December, 2009. The college, third-party verified carbon offsets to address climate the first known to become neutral for carbon emissions, change.” continues to reduce and eliminate those emissions it can. What it cannot reduce or eliminate are now offset Since 2007, when COA became carbon neutral, the colby supporting truck stop electrification through Car- lege has also undergone a comprehensive energy audit bonfund.org. The project provides electricity to driv- and made energy efficiency improvements to its camers at truck stops to eliminate the need for the idling of pus buildings. The college now meets all of its electricity needs through renewable hydropower. In August truck engines.

2008, it opened six energy-efficient student residences.

Earlier this month, COA filed its Climate Action Plan These buildings are heavily insulated, outfitted with wawith the American College and University President’s ter-saving composting toilets and heated by renewable Climate Commitment program, detailing further steps wood pellets. The college also has begun investigating to reduce carbon emissions. COA is a founding mem- ways to heat the rest of the buildings on campus with a ber of this organization that includes 650 schools across biomass fuel. For more on COA’s sustainability efforts, the United States. David Hales, president of COA, is a visit http://coa.edu/html/sustainablecampus.htm. member of the ACUPCC Steering Committee.

- Donna Gold

About Carbonfund.org Carbonfund.org is the leading nonprofit carbon offset and climate solutions organization, making it easy and affordable for individuals, businesses and organizations to reduce and offset their climate impact. Carbon offsets enable individuals and businesses to reduce carbon dioxide emissions they are responsible for in their everyday lives by supporting third-party verified renewable energy, energy efficiency and reforestation projects.

Carbonfund.org has over 450,000 individual supporters and works with over 1,200 business and nonprofit The college’s choice of the truck stop electrification partners. Visit www.carbonfund.org. project fulfilled the ACUPCC requirement that offsets be both additional and verifiable: the project depends on offsets to expand into additional truck stops; it also verifiably reduces carbon emissions. Longhaul truck drivers must take a 10-hour rest period for every 11 hours on the road. Typically, drivers idle their trucks for those 10 hours, using the engine to heat or cool their cabs and to power appliances and electronics. Not only is idling unhealthy for the driver, it also consumes a recycled wood pellet boiler is part of COA’s practical plan fuel and produces carbon dioxide, a greenhouse gas leading to climate change.

“Colleges and universities are uniquely positioned to demonstrate that acting wisely to address the challenge of climate change is both the right thing to do as well as the smart thing to do. Higher education has a fundamental responsibility to move beyond business as usual, and set an example for our students and for society.

Inaction in the face of the indisputable knowledge we have about a future dominated by the consequences of climate change would be inconsistent with our values and our mission.” said Hales.

According to COA’s sustainability coordinator, Craig Ten Broeck, “With this project, drivers can save about a gallon of diesel per hour.” COA purchased 4,270 metric tons of carbon offsets through Carbonfund.org.

Outside the Bubble

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The Goodness of People - Cora Lewicki

I’ve been learning a very important lesson here in Ghana. The women I am working with have been teaching me that in the end, the goodness of people will be what makes the world a better place.

I first began to see this when traveling to Ghana’s Northern Region with a woman I will call Mary. My task was to determine which fair-trade certification scheme would be best for the association of women she works with, and I was tagging along simply to learn more about the entire situation.

Mary has dedicated the last three years of her life to establishing a committed business relationship with an organization of women in the poorest region of Ghana.

Not only is she serving as a dependable buyer, she is also helping them access foreign markets and develop the better quality control measures. In order to carry out most of this business, she has to often travel the 13-hour trip between the coast and the North, quite a feat considering her 61 years and the less-than-luxurious nature of the journey.

founder with whom I work every day never stops working.

From the consumer’s standpoint, certification gives confidence that the product one buys was truly produced under ‘fair-trade conditions’. But honestly, from the standpoint of everyone else in the commodity chain - the retailers, wholesalers, manufacturers, distributors, exporters, and finally producers - we do not need a sound certification system that assures ethical trading practices. What we need are more people like these women, acting with honor, dedication, and the hearts of lions.

I am not trying to rebuke the value of the fair-trade model and its respective certification schemes. It’s just that when I look forward into the future of humanity, I place my hope in people, simply people, and all the rest seems to fall to the wayside. We can try to build incredible schemes that govern and assure we care for each other, but they can never rival the pure goodness people can create all on their own. Years and years in the future, perhaps the allure of fair-trade will have faded away.

As I began to learn about the personal investment she When that happens, I hope people like the women I’m has put into these women’s development, I realized no working with will still be working their magic. certification scheme - no matter how detailed, foolproof, and efficient - will be more powerful than a person simply being a good person. I realized if people just did business like her, why would we need certification systems assuring the consumer that the product was ‘traded fairly’?

I’ve seen the same lesson reflected in the work of the NGO I am interning with. Global Mamas is fair-trade certified within a different model than Mary’s operation, but the same fact rings true. Certified or not, its business model is what really makes a difference in the lives of the women it works with. The founders have dedicated themselves to conducting business centered on the empowerment of women, and I swear the co-

photo from WikiMedia Commons

Op-Ed

Discretionary Spending

C1 Responding to Sustainability 101; Arithmetic, Population and Energy

- Matt Shaw How much money does it cost to fly in 30 prospective -Paul T. Smith Jr. students for a weekend of mind-numbing propaganda?

Maybe for the same money we could install some secu- The latest taboo of the twenty-first century revolves rity measures for Thorndike Library to help prevent the around populations, and its implications are something Albert Barlett, Professor Emeritus of physics at the theft of countless books.

University of Colorado, believes are threatening the Each year, COA flies in anywhere from fifteen to thir- destruction our species, and plausibly the Earth. The ty people in the hope that these prospies will enroll as risk is tied to gross negligence and a failure to accept full-time students in the coming fall. The average plane simple arithmetic: oil consumption is quickly exceedticket from Boston to Bangor is $200. From New York ing reserves and population growth is exceeding global to Bangor is about the same. $200 multiplied by 30 is carrying capacity. Dr. Bartlett showed that sustained $6,000. Factor in another $150 for gas, in a COA van, seven percent growth results in an exponential increase there and back multiple times. Simply for transporta- every ten years, which indicates that the global population, the college is spending about $6,150 on Fall Fly- tion will soon surpass oil production. The United States Ins (and that’s not considering ticket fare from the west is already well beyond sustainable oil usage—over sixcoast). Apart from transportation costs, the College also ty percent of the oil consumed in America is foreign. spends money to feed the prospective students on Fri- By plotting oil production against a Gaussian curve day night, as well as providing them with a ticket to (similar to a bell-curve), Dr. Barlett illustrated that the US population has consumed eighty-five percent of its Reel Pizza. domestic oil reserves. With the US’s demand for energy If instead we allocated the Admissions Office to spend growing rapidly, and global demand growing faster, it $1,000 on some form of a prospective student initiative, does not appear that the measly fifteen percent remainwhat could the College do with the remaining $5,150 ing will amount to much in the long term. that would have previously gone to the Fall-Fly In proAl Gore showed courage in An Inconvenient Truth—he gram? acknowledged that Earth has exceeded its carrying capacity for humans—but he failed to offer up population Some ideas: control as a means of solving climate change. Turn off - Bolster security in the library - Allocate the money to student travel funds for confer- the taboo, shed your peace flags and face reality; the sound solution to this problem is not politically correct. ences - Stock the vending and coffee machine in Deering There are too many humans. More humans need more energy, and there just isn’t enough energy for everyone.

Common - Get some art on the walls in Deering Common, the According to Dr. Barlett, the first law of sustainability is that population growth and/or growth in the rates of A&S Building, and Kaelber Hall consumption of resources, cannot be sustained. Simple - Increase student wages arithmetic shows that humans are not living in a balanced equation. Either we balance the equation ourWhat do you think COA should do with its money? selves, or the natural forces will do it for us. “We cannot let other people do our thinking for us,” explained Dr. Barlett. Even if we make the jump to global population control, who could ever be responsible for such a choice?

Events

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Shakespeare Company returns with All’s Well That Ends Well

- Donna Gold Shakespeare like it was seen in Elizabethan times comes to College of the Atlantic when the American Shakespeare Company returns to campus. This time, the performance is “All’s Well that Ends Well” on Oct. 9 at 7:30 p.m. in Gates Community Center.

The company itself describes the play as, “funny, wise and bittersweet,” in which Shakespeare offers “a portrait of the human condition in its motley colors.”

Typical of Shakespeare, the play has an elaborate storyline. As her reward for curing the King of France of an unsettling affliction, the clever and tenacious Helen receives the hand of Bertram, her heart’s desire. Unfortunately, Bertram’s heart has other desires. Within a world of soldiers and clowns, countesses and commoners, “All’s Well That Ends Well” tricks us into believing that lies are true and that truth is fantasy—a dark fairytale filled with laughter, miracles, and re-birth.

The American Shakespeare Center, formerly Shenandoah Shakespeare Express, is known for its engaging performances, recreating something of the style of Shakespeare’s own Globe Theater, using universal lighting, so actors can see the audience, playing up the often raucous comedy of Shakespeare’s time, frequently engaging directly with the audience.

Maker of little books, animations, shows work at college -Donna Gold

Providence, RI artist Jo Dery makes short films, drawings, prints, little books, and occasionally music and papier-mâché creatures. Her work is bright, graphic and often whimsical. On Monday Oct. 5 at 6 p.m., she will be coming to Gates Community Center to show her work and speak about her process.

Dery’s films have been shown in festivals across the United States and have been included in various traveling programs. She has been awarded grants for her work by the LEF Foundation, the Rhode Island State Council on the Arts, and The Free History Project. Her work has been seen in Providence, New York, San Francisco, Portland, OR and Los Angeles. She is currently a part-time faculty member at Rhode Island College.

Dery’s talk at College of the Atlantic is made possible by the Robert and Arlene Kogod Visiting Artist Fund.

For more information, call ext. 257. To see samples of Dery’s work, visit http://www.jodery.com/links.htm.

Peeks, courtesy Jo Dery

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Samina Quraeshi talks on “A Journey through Design”

Fall Term Playbill

Samina Quraeshi, an artist who works toward connecting people around the globe, will be speaking at College of the Atlantic’s McCormick Lecture Hall on Tuesday, October 6 at 4:15 p.m. The talk, “A Journey through Design,” is part of the college’s weekly Human Ecology Forum.

Conference: Food For Thought, Time for Action: Sustainable food, farming & fisheries for the 21st century Contact: Heather Albert-Knopp (x354)

- Donna Gold

Quraeshi will be speaking about several of her current projects so as to share the process by which she makes art that reaches across boundaries. As an artist, writer and photographer she brings the multifaceted story of Islamic culture in South Asia to the international stage.

As a teacher of community studies and design she is committed to intellectual and cultural diversity. As a senior executive in academia and government she is committed to collaboration and strategic alliances, calling for a new model of interdisciplinary learning and urban problem solving.

Friday, October 2-Sunday, October 4

Friday, October 9 Theatre: American Shakespeare Center touring company presents a Shakespeare performance 7:30pm Gates Monday, October 12 Poetry Slam: COA students & Fall Tour visitors 8:00pm Campus Center lounge (Deering Common) Saturday, October 17 Open Mic: COA students and Fall Fly-in visitors 8:00pm Turrets Great Hall

Friday, October 23 Community Talent Show and Award Ceremony for Family Weekend Sign-up for auditions with Student Activities Committee She is currently the Gardner Fellow/Visiting Artist at 7:00pm Gates the Peabody Museum Harvard University where she is preparing a book, exhibition, symposia and concerts Saturday, October 24 Nature of Halloween that illuminate the mystical dimensions of Islam.

Contact Carrie Graham (x240) at the Dorr Museum of Quraeshi’s talk at College of the Atlantic is made pos- Natural History to volunteer: carve pumpkins, educate sible by the Robert and Arlene Kogod Visiting Artist creatively, or assist in other ways.

Fund. For more information, ext. 257.

Saturday, October 24 Contra Dance: Big Moose Band – costumes welcome!

Happens right after Nature of Halloween 7:30p lessons, 8:00pm dance Gates Within the larger context of our environmental crisis, decaying infrastructure, troubled economy and increasingly interconnected global world Quraeshi is focused on systemic transformation.

Saturday, October 31 Halloween Concert: Adam Ezra Group!

8:00pm Gates

Tuesday, November 10 Open Mic: COA students 8:00pm Turrets Great Hall Tuesday, November 17 Coffeehouse: Doug Wood 8:00pm TAB -------------------------------------- All events are FREE to COA community members, sponsored by your friendly and dedicated Student Activities Committee (SAC).

Read your local newspapers, the “Mount Desert Islander” and the “Bar Harbor Times”, each week for more community wide events.

For a calendar of all COA events go to: “http://calendar.coa.edu/” http://calendar.coa.edu/ViewCal.html

Human Ecology Essays Thoughts on Human Ecology...

-Lucy Atkins

F1

Human Ecology Core - What does it mean to be human? What does it mean to do ecology? What does it mean to be a human ecologist and do human ecology?

You must hold the paradox in mind: care a shit ton but know that there’s never going to be a perfect answer.

doesn’t hurt it?” Steve (furrowed brow as he examines another frog, absently): “No, he’s fine.”

Ecology Natural History - The land is full of stories— and humans and plants and animals and fungi and rocks and water are all the characters. Don’t stress over it too much. But the story of the penguins: The penguin chicks that were measured every day grew this much.

The chicks that were measured every week grew THIS much. Scientists undeniably affect their subjects of study. Can a study ever be completely objective?

Ecology - Science is completely tied up in humanness—because first and foremost, scientists are humans.

Goddamn it, I’m going to get that paper out before that mealy mouthed retardate worm does or I’ll— and the sad truth is that it’s publish or perish. Papers are their babies. Gotta get it out.

Sustainability - The Brundtland Commission’s definition of sustainable development: Development that meets the needs of the present generation without compromising the needs of future generations.

Environmental History - The land has really never been without the impact of humans. Are humans part of nature? Are humans today the same as they were 10,000 years ago? 500 years ago?

Advanced Comp - In the case that a writer does not write incoherently and incomprehensibly, others will not have the tendency to disregard his or her point on the terms that much time has to be spent disentangling it from the overabundance of words.

Painting - All I know is that if I ever finish it, my painting will be very archival, yes. But really: Gesso used to be made with rabbit skin. And our high quality artists’ brushes (sold to us by a little old Jewish lady and little old Jewish man) are made from mongoose fur and sable fur. You just can’t get the furry guys out of painting. But hell, I shave my legs.

Our Public Lands - The purpose of the National Park System, as stated in its 1916 Organic Act is to “to conserve the scenery and the natural and historic objects and the wild life therein and to provide for the enjoyment of the same in such manner and by such means as will leave them unimpaired for the enjoyment of future generations.” Try managing for all of that. It’s asking for conflict.

Herpetology - Steve is showing the class a male wood frog, clasping its back legs tightly to keep it from jumping away. A Student (worried-looking): “Oh no, are you hurting it?” Steve: “No, he’s fine... look at this... when you squeeze right here—right behind the front legs—” Wood Frog: “Mraaack.” Steve (excitedly): “— he makes a release call. It’s for when another male tries to go into amplexus with him thinking he’s a female.

Wood frogs are explosive breeders. Here, you guys try it.” Steve keeps squeezing the frog, who continues to emit squawks at intervals. Student: “Are you sure that

Literature, Science, and Spirituality - Read “Of Color and Light” by Rafael Jesus Gonzalez. Ask Karen.

aww, what’s the point of organizing this? there are too many connections——

Arts & Literature

G1 Photo by Sasha Paris

Cascadilla Gorge - Ithaca, NY

Catapult

Autumn

Illustrations by Matt Shaw

G2 Enamored Crush

Spider

What a sick world we live in to think that I am sitting across from you, bathing in your glorious presence, suffering silently, tortured.

I did an experiment on seeds, and while my containers were out in the field theoretically attracting rodents, a small spider got in one as well, and is now desperately trying to escape the clear plastic bowl.

-Loki

I am but a vampire so intoxicated by the scent of your blood that I cant bear to me around you, or you Cu Chulainn godliness, taunting me like a glass of ice water in hell.

That kiss you never should have delivered still lingers on my lips, its poison asphyxiating me slowly everyday.

How did an innocent action transmogrify into a cruel realization? We could never be together no matter how much I desire it to be so. An enamoring phantasmagoria who haunts my dreams.

I have become a prisoner of my own emotions, chained to the wall of lasciviousness. I want to be wanted by you.

A glance from your ever changing blue green eyes across the room pierce me like a blade plunged deep into my soul. Why must I be a victim of this evanescent debauchery?

I just need you to hold me, feel those arms around me, and demand that virulent kiss again. It’s a barbiturate drug and I’m addicted in complete martyrdom. Yet I’m hypnotized by its ecstasy, craving it.

I want to be like Diarmaid and Grainne who were pursued for their love affair, but weren’t afraid, why should we let the summer pursue us.

However I do not think you feel the same, to get involved, now I am Clytie quietly tormented by the melancholy result of the unrequited love of Helios.

-Kaija Klauder

Again and Again I place a piece of grass in front of the spider, that he might grab hold and so be lifted out and released.

He is so little, so delicate that were I to pick him up between thumb and forefinger, no matter how I tried, I would crush him.

Again and Again he flees from my attempts at rescue, terrified, perhaps, of this giant apparition.

Finally, he climbs aboard, and as I deposit him safely on the windowsill, I wonder how much time and energy I have wasted, scrabbling against the mysterious confines of others’ questions, and running the other way Again and Again from enormous frightening

benevolent offers of freedom?

How dare you infect me with this childish crush! My intellect and heart are at war. My mind suffering from mental aberrations and my heart wants to soar.

Logically I know this cannot possibly work out. Yet why does my heart writhe in agony when I know this cannot be?

Do you have the slightest idea of this hopeless battle I cannot win? Not to become attached? If you do know then why are you pulling me out to sea? I’m sinking deeper under the waves into the dark abyss of insanity.

I suppose I’ll just have to endure it for it is temporary, oh how could you plague me with this internecine disease? You don’t want me to leave and I don’t want to go but if I stay I will be entangled in this net of infatuation, strangled lifeless by my feelings, This is a dangerous game you and I both know, jousting with a double edged sword.

-Anne Aviles

G3 What We Find Tucked in Corners

-Bronwyn Clement A few days ago while standing in a long line waiting for my dinner I quite distractedly found a folded piece of paper. Someone had balanced it delicately on the trim, tucked under the photo of autumn coloured leaves. I unfolded the paper to find a poem from the famous Irish poet, William Butler Yeats. I knew little about the poem but read it again and again while enjoying my meal and tucked it into my back pocket.

I share it here to make what you will of it and to think of the different places one can find inspiration.

Sailing to Byzantium W.B. Yeats 1926 That is no country for old men. The young In one another’s arms, birds in the trees – Those dying generations – at their song, The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas, Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.

Caught in that sensual music all neglect Monuments of unageing intellect.

An aged man is but a paltry thing, A tattered coat upon a stick, unless Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing For every tatter in its mortal dress, Nor is there singing school but studying Monuments of its own magnificence; And therefore I have sailed the seas and come To the holy city of Byzantium.

O sages standing in God’s holy fire As in the gold mosaic of a wall, Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre, And be the singing-masters of my soul.

Consume my heart away; sick with desire And fastened to a dying animal It knows not what it is; and gather me Into the artifice of eternity.

Once out of nature I shall never take My bodily form from any natural thing, But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make Of hammered gold and gold enamelling To keep a drowsy Emperor awake; Or set upon a golden bough to sing To lords and ladies of Byzantium Of what is past, or passing, or to come.

Untold Truths of a Generation

-Katherine Bailey The things we left behind, Dreams of an untold future.

Tales soon forgotten, just hanging to a lonely string, Stones are overturned, the substance has been no more.

He has walked the lonely road, Grasped for something, anything tangible.

Give me a day, when light will shine the stars, When sheets of rain will cleanse the sky, And the darkness will ebb to an old new day.

He has seen the darker side, The life no more will thrive.

Here, the stories are etched on cold walls, The scribes have left their post.

Now the words turn to crumbling letters that shatter upon the threshold of man.

He has felt the waves crash him down.

The saltiness is bitter; the waves’ memories overlap the distances.

Before you know, another will strike.

Remembering (For Rashmi) -Ashley Collier

This night, No voices up the shaft And through my window, No bodies mill about , The courtyard still and silent But for the sound Like waves are crashing.

This is the laughter, I know, of the Early-browning leaves.

This song so old, It is known Alone by time, And up the shaft It finds me, And whispers through The window screen, Powered by the tongues Of ancient seas.

STEEL

-Gina Sabatini They say we can’t understand freedom because it hangs in the skies.

As I drive through Knoxville, after the sixteen-hour trip from my apartment in Maine to my hometown to clear out my mother’s house, the sky is blank and indecisive. My mother died about a month ago, and being the only survivor in our family, it is my duty to package up her belongings, sell the house, and tie together the loose ends of her life. I watch brick buildings snapshot out the window, their solid forms boxy and repetitive. Flashes of children play on sidewalks and dog walkers pass unheeded by their neighbors.

City music drifts from the stereo and the bass pulses under my skin, in sync with my heartbeat.

When my gas tank is nearly as empty as my stomach, I stop at a station. The attendant is an old man, his lower jaw turned up into his mouth and his lips looking like they have been swallowed down with his three bottom front teeth. There’s something familiar about him, something that makes me think of my father, before he left mom and me for the coast. I get the sense he’s always worked here, always filled tanks with liquid money, watched as the numbers rose on the price board and felt the numbers rise in the marrow of his bones.

He fills the tank and I ask him where I could find a place to eat. The smell of gasoline wraps itself about the car and makes my head spin. He points vaguely down a side street lined with beeches and elms, and I follow the direction of his finger, leaving him at the gas station to turn the price cards.

The beeches hang low over the street, like tired old women reaching for the cars, their fingertips caressing the roofs. They don’t have these types of trees where I live in Maine. When I visited my mother the first time, four years ago, she asked me why I moved up there.

“What was it that you needed to find?” she asked me from her hospital bed, translucent tubes circuiting through her body.

“It’s a different way of life there,” I told her, thinking of the fishing villages and old men sitting out on the docks. “I had to understand it. Besides, I have a friend who lives in Bangor--” My mother’s jaw clenched and her eyes reddened.

“You could have called. We’re just lucky you sent me that birthday card, or else I would have never known where to find you.” She threw around “we” and “us” as if I was ever a part of her whole.

I breathe the unspoiled air that I recall used to linger by the railroad tracks when I was a kid. I feel part of me harden and callous over, and I turn the car around.

Sustenance does not come in the form of a sandwich for me.

I remember the day I left my mom. I didn’t cry then and the same was true for the funeral. My mother wasn’t

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really my mother, not after I ran away from home. She became a stranger to me, and crying over someone I didn’t know didn’t make sense. I don’t like to think it was her fault that I left, but rather that she gave me no reason to stay. She always talked of marrying me off, buying the lot down the street, and building a house.

She spoke of her grandchildren running down the road to see her, and me standing by my white picket fence and little pink house with a husband with a well-paying job. It was her dream to remain and dwell here, but I say milk will spoil if it’s left standing too long. If anything, I was a reaction to my mother, and longed for the day I could leave the line of identical houses and run off to some place that had nothing to do with Luttrell.

To be continued in nthe next issue of OTW

Assigning the Blame

-Colleen Courtney When Riley and Emma were four they often didn’t know how to deal with an accusation thrown at them.

Their initial response was always to lie. They were like deer caught in headlights and the lies just flowed out of them. Of course, we were usually always able to see through their transparency. It was easy enough to call them out and find the truth. Unfortunately, when it comes to assigning the blame, there are many family members that can be condemned.

During winter, it is a common practice in our house to make fires everyday, instead of spending absurd amounts of money on heating. Our house is perfect for fires, because we all like to sit in the family room after dinner. The fireplace heats up our family room nicely, we all love to hear the crackling late at night. Since I am the primary fire maker, I make the fires almost all the time, and it generally is pretty hard to get them started.

Riley and Emma were “helping” me to start the fire, by standing around watching what I did while eating their lunches out of paper towels. They looked so cute when they were that age, Riley was so big, at least ten pounds more than Emma. Emma was this little doll, fair skin, dark hair and big eyes. Those eyes were often used by her to worm her way out of trouble. I left the side of the fireplace for a minute to grab some more paper to feed the wavering flame. I had warned Riley and Emma to stay back, but apparently they don’t listen well. I came back to see a smoldering wet paper towel laying over my wooden setup. I turned my eyes to the two four year olds, noting how guilty they looked, and glared at them. They began shifting their weight back and forth, their hands behind their backs.

Neither of them would meet my eyes, though Emma looked like she wanted to edge away. It didn’t take long for one to break, soon Emma chants out, (with conviction) “Riley did it.” Of course Riley turns to Emma with a horrified look on his face and protests.

“NO! Emma did it.” Emma looks around shiftily, then stares at a point above my head and says quickly, almost stumbling over the words

“Brenna did it.” Seeing how Brenna was upstairs at the time this was very unlikely, and I told Emma so.

To this statement she replies, with the same certainty she had, had during the whole conversation, “Liam did it.”

Sound Docket

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Can’t handle anymore open mics or coffeehouses? Need to see a building higher than three stories? Check out what’s happening at these (not so local but we all wish they were) venues. You might even meet some peers.

Space Gallery.

Portland, ME. 538 Congress St 207. 828. 5600

The Middle East Downstairs.

Cambridge, MA. http://www.mideastclub.com/

Astronautilus with Samuel James and Nobs Monday 10.05.2009, Doors at 8:30 PM, Starts at 9:00 PM, $6, 18+ Once described as what Tom Waits joining the MC battle circuit would sound like, Astronautalis is back to sweat, shout and freestyle all over our stage, all the while seducing the crowd with his unique brand of southernindie-artsy-electro-historical-fiction-folk-crunk. Catch him now before Tegan & Sara steal him away as their European tour opener next month. Opening the night are Portland’s mighty Samuel James and pride of the Bronx, Nobs.

Sun 10/4 Indian Ocean (fr. India) – 18+ $20adv/$22dos

ALL AGES: Acts of Sedition, Pinko and the Action Boys, A Primitive and Savage Land, Ye Tuesday 10.20.2009, Doors at 8:00 PM, Starts at 8:30 PM, $5, All Ages The essence of the hardcore punk band Acts of Sedition is a battle cry against their namesake: an act which forbade Americans to use “disloyal, profane, scurrilous, or abusive language” about the United States government during wartime. Hailing from Oakland, CA, the group works to keep political dissent alive through community involvement and constructive lyrics. Maine punks Pinko and the Action Boys, A Primitive and Savage Land and Ye open with sets impossible not to get sweaty to!

Wed 10/7 Meshell Ndegeocello, Alice Austin – 18+ $20

Mon 10/5 Mumiy Troll (fr. Russia), A5 – presented by the Russian Boston Rock Club and The Middle East – 18+ $28adv/$30dos Tue 10/6 Jet Black Stare, Silent Season, Craving Lucy, Lansdowne, Life On Hold, Matalon - All Ages $15 - benefit for Why Me Organization - NOTE: 7pm Doors

Thu 10/8 Leedz Edutainment presents M.O.P., Smyly, Mayhem, Mynestate Militia, Hybrid Thoughts, Steadfast, Certified Gz - Hosted by Ricky Mortis - Music by DJ Manipulator – 18+ $17adv/$20dos Fri 10/9 Built to Spill, Disco Doom, Violent Soho – Night One - 18+ $25 Sat 10/10 Built to Spill, Disco Doom, Violent Soho – Night Two - 18+ $25

Check back here each week for new shows and venues. If you have a show you’d like posted, email offthewall@coa.edu

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