The Ford Files

In a hole? Then stop digging

Scribe: Robin Ford

Like all military units, a Landing Craft Tank (LCT) amphibious assault vessel is subject to an annual audit/reviews by an inspectorate. The time had come for this review by a team of RASC (formerly RCT now RLC) officers. As most of the day to day functioning equipment came under the remit of the Chief Engineer, much ‘activity’ took place as he was prone to what one calls ‘flapping’ and desperately wanted a five-star result.

It was nearing the end of a long day of poking and looking, which was all fairly routine when one of the officers spotted a foam fire extinguisher where the outlet nozzle was corroded and blocked. He pointed this out to the Chief Engineer who visibly sagged - caught out! Just kept spluttering and stuttering – no excuse.

By the time the team were leaving the ‘Chief’ frantically got the fire extinguisher cleaned and working. As the team disembarked down the rope ladder into the launch, the ‘Chief’ desperately shouted “Sir! Sir’ it’s fixed” and pressed the release button. However, in his desperation he had forgot the constant breeze always present around a moored vessel. This breeze caught the released foam spray and predictably splattered the four Officers in their best service dress uniforms, medals and all, much to the delight of every crew man watching - resulting in some of them ‘corpsing’ on the open deck. Guess what! He didn’t get his 5 stars.

SHOP www.remeshop.org.uk

The REME Shop carries a varied range of items from branded clothing, gifts, statuettes, accessories, military uniform items and bespoke personalized products on request. The Corps shop is located within the REME Museum and offers a collection service.

The REME Trading Company (of which the shop is a part of) is a ‘not for profit’ and runs in support of The REME Charity for The REME Family.