Off Switch Magazine — Volume 4 (FULL)

living without an...

volume FOUR / FALL / 2012

six weeks on the open road nature and nurture the avett brothers sweet, sweet potato on finding yourself...30,000 feet in the air

Š 2012 Off Switch Magazine All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission of the editor.

Inquiries can be sent to the editor at: info@offswitchmagazine.com www.offswitchmagazine.com Printed in the USA by MagCloud.com Publication Design: Katie Michels Cover photo: Bryan and Mae

living without an...

“Lessons Learned�

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table of contents

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contributors

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welcome

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through my lens – silhouettes

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Fall reads

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The Avett Brothers

Memorex Memories

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Nature and Nurture

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Six weeks on the open road

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St. Olaf Ghosts

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Meet: Gabriella Ganugi

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On Finding Yourself...20,000 Feet in the air

40 before 20

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The Most Important Things

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To Kenya, With Love

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An INterview About Love

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Sweet, Sweet Potato

table of contents

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katie michels editor-in-chief, designer, photographer, writer offswitchblog.com

anna klenke copyeditor, writer elbowpatches-annaklenke.blogspot.com

brittany austin writer brittanyaustin08.blogspot.com

Bryan and mae photographers, writer bryanandmae.net

Jennifer Dees illustrator livingcminca.blogspot.com

meg fee writer or-so-i-feel.blogspot.com

Kara Haupt photographer, writer ijustmightexplode.com

Whitney Johnson & Dave Tuttle photographers hisampersandhers.com

Jonathan Canlas Photography photographer jonathancanlasphotography.com

James Kicinski-McCoy photographer bleubirdblog.com

Diana La Counte writer ourcitylights.org

Julia Manchik illustrator mrmrsglobetrot.blogspot.com

Caroline Nitz writer cisforcaroline.wordpress.com

Nirav Patel photographer niravphotography.com

Kristin Rogers photographer kristinrogersphotography.com

Jaquilyn and Travis Shumate photographers jaquilynshumate.com

Melissa Tydell writer inspirationandroughdrafts.com

David Weiss photographer davidandreweiss.com

Haley Withers photographer, writer haleyinwonderland.blogspot.com

Heather Zweig photographer heatherzweig.com

interested in submitting to off switch magazine?

Visit our website or blog to see the themes for our upcoming issues and view the Off Switch Mag Submission Guidelines document.

websites: offswitchmagazine.com / offswitchblog.com email: info@offswitchmagazine.com 3

contributors

Welcome to the fourth volume of Off Switch Magazine! With this particular adventure into the world of printed quarterlies we are focusing on the topic of “lessons learned.” What does it mean to be an educator in the 21st century? What does it mean to be a student of the classroom— and of life in general? Big or small, good or bad, life throws us situations and circumstances that— while requiring effort and grace—will help us to become better people. The point is, we are all learning, and we are all teaching... all the time.

In the process of putting together this volume I have learned countless things about starting a business, how to manage stress, and decision making. But most of all I’ve learned about myself. I’ve learned—for the umpteenth time—that I am capable of far more than I realize. We all are.

We all have the potential to be the best we can be. And we have the potential to push our own boundaries to see where our vision takes us.

Remember that once a lesson is learned, the book isn’t closed on the subject. Learn, relearn, fail, and learn again. Whatever you do, don’t stop.

founder & editor-in-chief

Welcome

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through my lens each issue a theme is chosen, photographers are gathered, and images are submitted...all for the love of photography. the following pages are filled with photos of silhouettes, a theme that alludes to both mystery and romance. perfectly fitting for the fall season and upcoming halloween holiday, we think.

{theme}

silhouettes

DABITO oldbrandnewblog.com

Through My Lens

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Elias and Theresa Carlson orangejuice-etc.com

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Nirav Patel niravphotography.com

Through My Lens

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Jaquilyn and Travis Shumate jaquilynshumate.com

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Beth Murphy mrsbethmurphy.com

Through My Lens

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Jacqueline Jaszka jacquelinejaszka.com

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9 With smart phones and smart phone photography becoming more and more commonplace, we thought it only appropriate to share some Instagram silhouette photos with our readers.

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If you like what you see, we encourage you to download the free app and follow these photographer’s Instagram feeds!

1, 2, 3, 7: @niravphotography | 4, 6, 11: @alinatsvor | 5, 10: @dabito 8: @fishsticked | 9: @dreapomegranates

Through My Lens

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FALL READS text: anna klenke illustrations: julia manchik

Wow, I had no idea when I penned the Summer Reads column a few months ago that we were going to be in for such a long, hot summer! Laying outside by the pool (or inside by the air conditioner!) was great, but I’ll admit that I’m looking forward to the cooler days of fall when I can curl up with a sweater and a good book. Here are a few of my top picks for the crisp autumn months ahead.

Empire Falls (2002)

by Richard Russo Pulitzer Prize-winning author Richard Russo is known for his ability to build evocative, convincing small towns and the blue-collar characters who live in them, and Empire Falls shows him at the height of his narrative powers. In this novel, greasy spoon proprietor Miles Roby can hardly believe that he is still stuck in the town of his childhood, where nothing ever changes (for the better, at least). But no matter how many times Miles goes over the events of his life in his head and wishes that things had turned out differently, he always ends up right back in Empire Falls.

In the midst of an unpleasant divorce and stuck in the town that he couldn’t wait to leave, the only bright spots in Miles’s life are his teenage daughter, Tick…and his wish that she will manage to do what he couldn’t—to leave Empire Falls and move on to bigger and better things. It seems, however, that Tick may have a different idea for her future.

Russo’s masterful storytelling and gift for bringing subtle characters to life allows you to walk into the Empire Grill right along with Miles, and makes reading Empire Falls feel as familiar as having dinner with old friends—a pastime you happily return to over and over again.

Wild (2012)

by Cheryl Strayed Chances are you’ve heard of this memoir already, what with it being the inspiration for Oprah’s Book Club 2.0 and all. But just in case you were in doubt, I wanted to reaffirm that Wild really is an amazing book, and definitely deserves all the hype. And the cover is perfect!

After her mother’s death, 26-year-old Cheryl Strayed finds herself unmoored. She moves around the country from place to place and eventually decides to leave everything and everyone in her life behind and hike the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT), a 2,650-mile long path that runs from

Mexico to Canada in the western part of the United States. Strayed is completely unprepared for the hardships that the trail presents. Her pack is nearly too heavy for her to lift; her boots are a size too small and mangle her feet within days; and the daily grind of life on the trail is nearly too much for her. Nevertheless, she presses on, meeting trail buddies, battling wildlife, and healing herself along the way.

Although most of the action in this memoir revolves around Strayed’s life on the PCT, we also learn about her rough childhood, the love she has for her mother, and the despair that drove her to risky promiscuity and drug addiction. Strayed’s journey is more than physical; it is mental and emotional as well, and those undercurrents are the threads that truly bind us to her and make us root for her to come out on top. Wild will appeal to anyone yearning for adventure, or looking for solace. Oprah neatly sums up the message of the book in an interview with Strayed: “Being courageous is feeling the fear and doing the scary thing anyway.”

MWF Seeking BFF (2011)

by Rachel Bertsche Rachel Bertsche has tons of friends—in the city where she went to school, back in her hometown, and dotted across the globe. But when Bertsche and her husband move to Chicago together, she realizes that she really doesn’t have any friends in the Windy City… so she decides to make some.

Turns out that making friends is tougher than Bertsche expected. Where do you meet potential friends? How can you ask another girl out on a friend date without seeming like a stalker?

Bertsche asks for friend recommendations, joins clubs, and tries striking up conversation in public places in the search for a new BFF. She even puts an ad in the local paper and ultimately meets over 50 women in hopes of making new friends. With her husband as her cheerleader, Bertsche faces up to her social anxieties and confronts the idea

Fall Reads

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that actively searching for friendship is somehow different than joining an online dating site or going on blind dates. In the end, while she doesn’t necessarily end up with the soul mate/best friend for life that she had hoped for, Bertsche walks away from her experiment with dozens of casual acquaintances, several close friends, and a much better idea of the importance of friendship.

Sometimes hilarious, sometimes excruciatingly awkward, MWF Seeking BFF is a great read for any girl who has wondered if she has enough friends and where she can find some more.

Something Wicked This Way Comes (1962)

by Ray Bradbury In honor of Ray Bradbury, who passed away on June 5th of this year, I’d like to feature one of my all-time favorite autumn books and a masterpiece of modern Gothic literature, Something Wicked This Way Comes.

James Nightshade and William Halloway are thrilled when a carnival comes to their small Midwestern town of Green Lake, Illinois, just as school starts up in the fall. But Cooper & Dark’s Pandemonium Shadow Show offers more than fun and thrills beneath its enormous striped tents. The two boys become acquainted with several members of the “freak show”: the tattooed “illustrated man,” the blind gypsy witch, and the murderous dwarf, and they investigate the sinister carousel that is supposedly broken.

When strange occurrences start happening in connection with the carnival, James and William realize that it is up to them to save their town from the forces of evil. Their battle inside the dark carnival is the stuff of nightmares, and Bradbury’s sense of the macabre goes behind the trappings of witches and werewolves into a plane at once more subtle and scarier—perfect for a dusky fall evening or Halloween read.

On Writing (2000)

by Stephen King Half memoir, half book about writing, Stephen King’s On Writing provides a glimpse into the mega-author’s personal life as well as his thoughts on the craft of writing novels. King starts out recounting anecdotes from his childhood, much of which he spent writing science fiction stories and producing his own magazine using a typewriter and mimeograph. He collected the dozens of rejection notes he received from magazines and publishers and moaned over the fact that his work would never be published, but never stopped hoping to get his big break. Eventually, his first story, “I Was a Teenage Graverobber,” gets picked up by a horror magazine, much to his delight. King also shares detailed stories about his family and his adolescent escapades. His accounts of growing up in a poor family are relatable for anyone who was raised in a less-thanaffluent household, and the stories he tells about his adventures in writing and in life are often screamingly funny.

The second half of the book may be more interesting to aspiring writers than to the general public, but King’s honest narrative voice and pervasive sense of humor keeps the pace moving, even for those with no interest in becoming writers themselves. Here, he buckles down and gives no-nonsense advice about the nuts and bolts, day-to-day life of writing and how he personally operates as a writer. He also addresses the drug addiction that nearly destroyed his life, and the terrifying accident that inspired him to get clean.

On Writing is a must-read for anyone who has ever thought about putting pen to paper in a creative fashion. Despite sometimes being known as a hack writer whose books contain little thought or effort, King takes his craft—but not himself—very seriously.

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THE AVETT BROTHERS A thoughtful and compelling Interview with one member of the popular bluegrass Band

interview: Meg Fee photo: Crackerfarm

I recently read that we each have one artist for whom words fail. One musician or band that when attempting to describe just why it is their music resonates with us, words alone just don’t do it. Because their work is too true, too good, we can do nothing but stutter and grope and offer up the music itself as both penance and explanation. For me The Avett Brothers are that band.

But because my job here has something to do with words and making sense with them let me preface what follows with this: on September 11th The Avett Brothers will release their sixth studio album. Get it. Listen to it. That is the truest and most important thing I can say, anything beyond that is just me waxing poetic and attempting to explain something that must be experienced to be understood.

It was their lyrics that I first took note of. I was on a film set where Paranoia in B-Flat Major played again and again and the actor in me was struck by the economy of their language—simple yet expansive. Their ability to cut to the immediate truth of an experience.

I still marvel at the placement of the two little “ands” in I and Love and You—the “ands” there giving the words room to breathe. Yes it was the breath and breadth of the mostly monosyllabic, extraordinarily percussive words that wooed me.

But it was the tension between the brothers’ voices—the space that arose in their perfectly discordant harmonies—that crawled under my skin and stuck. And yes, I do mean that in the best possible way. The imperfection of the music and the sort of flagrant honesty that erupts from that makes the band, in my humble opinion, one of the very best playing today.

Led by Seth and Scott Avett, the band consists of Bob Crawford on the stand-up bass, Joe Kwon on cello, and the relatively new addition of Jacob Edwards on drums.

Seth was kind enough to speak to me about what it means to be an artist when you think your darkness is worse than everyone else’s, and what he’d tell his 20-year-old self.

The Avett Brothers

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It’s been three years between I and Love and You and this new album, The Carpenter. What have you learned in those three years? Have there been any major shifts in instrumentation or themes you all are exploring?

Anytime there is a space between records there is just a massive wealth of life experience. And technically speaking a lot is going to happen during that time.

being blown away by one song—a very poppy number, very melodic. I saw it as a full on piano, pop kind of melody but as soon as we started working on it, it was very clear that no way would it work out as a piano melody. You’re always being reminded that you don’t have the answers.

Much like in life you’re consistently and often humbled by what you think you know versus what you actually know.

The more you do anything—the more you revise it, the closer you get to that place where you think, yes, this is the way I heard it in my head, and I get a little closer to that with each recording I make. That results in a more refined sound. And because we know what we want, we’re willing to take bigger steps and take more time to get to that place where we get what we want out of a song or out of a recording or out of a session.

Basically, you have an idea for a song and if you have the patience and the work ethic to get through to where it comes to fruition then you just have to be open for the journey of finding out what it needs to be [performed] live or how it needs to be recorded.

We make a record and then we figure out how we can play it live. We’ve always been a necessity kind of band. If we need a trombone our general idea is well, all right Scott, it’s going to be you or me that figures out how to limp along on the trombone to make it sound like we can play. But over the course of the last three years it got to the point where we just couldn’t continue on without a drummer, so we do have a full time drummer which frees us up to present the songs in a more up-front kind of way.

You said something about how you first hear a song in your head—what’s the journey that a song takes from just a seed of an idea to something you perform show after show?

Well, it’s funny because even after the song becomes a live “staple” it continues to change and it changes without you even noticing it. The songs slow down, they speed up, instrumentation changes, delivery changes, the spirit of it changes. And sometimes its purposeful but sometimes it’s not. The songs have a life of their own and sometimes they don’t make sense in this current chapter the way they did ten years ago. And there are a lot of surprises along the way—I remember

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Now I read somewhere that you and your brother will sit on a song that feels too personal to share until it reaches that critical point where it’s ready for public consumption. What happens to move a song from the former to the latter?

Well sometimes it’s just time. Sometimes it’s just a little bit of distance from your own personal experience. Maybe at the time you write the song the knife is still inside and it’s an impossible thing to share that with folks when you feel so vulnerable. And then maybe a year or a couple of years down the road things have changed enough so that the sentiment still feels relevant but it no longer causes you such pain.

And always experience helps—finding out there are others going through nearly the exact same thing makes it seem more realistic, more okay, to share.

And then other times it’s just because you listen to a Will Oldham record and you’re like well, man, he can do it. He’s not hiding. He’s not overly concerned with how he’s seen or what the magazines will say so his arc flourishes and rises because of that. Sometimes it’s just example—being inspired and hearing someone else do it so well.

Do you ever as an artist—as a storyteller—doubt the importance of what you’re doing?

theavettbrothers.com I feel on some level that writing songs and playing for people is something I ought to be doing, and I hope that doesn’t sound like entitlement—it’s not like I’m saying I’m the chosen one. It’s more that I feel very natural doing it, I feel somewhat called to do it. I feel like I’m more at home doing this than doing other things. So I’ve tried to just accept that for better or worse.

I feel resolved to the idea of making art and sharing it with folks. That being said, when I’m questioning myself or questioning the importance of art all-together I just try to weather the storm, you know? Like anything in life, there’s peaks and valleys and sometimes you just feel like you’re the biggest idiot in the world and sometimes you feel like you’re doing all right and maybe you’re not a monster. But then other times you feel like you are definitely a monster and that no one knows it but the darkness inside of you is worse than anyone else’s darkness—which is probably not true.

So I think in times of doubt—doubt in yourself or doubt across the board—you just have to say, you know what, this will pass, whether it’s tomorrow or next week or next year.

Any regrets? Anything from the last ten years that you’d go back and do differently— live differently?

I’m sure, but I don’t think on it much. I believe that it went down just like it was supposed to. I’d be lying if I said I’d do things differently because I’m glad for where I am now.

I couldn’t have told myself anything back then anyway.

Well, that was actually my next question: what would you tell your 20-year-old self?

I think that what I’d want to tell him is take small bites. Don’t try to see further than you can see.

Don’t attempt to become a famous whatever— rockstar or whatever—because the desire for that is ultimately useless. There’s not much you can do with that but disappoint yourself, really. That doesn’t fill any kind of void. I’d tell my younger self to deal with today. And if you want to work on a song, work on a song; if you’re lucky enough to take in a show, go in there and play as well as you can, and if people ignore you well, okay. Just do it as well as you can.

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memorex

MEMORIES Text and Photo: Katie Michels

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creative non-fiction

When I was five years old, my mom gave me a blank cassette tape, and as a result she gifted me with one of my very favorite childhood memories.

The audiotape was a Memorex DBS “Screamer” with bright pink, blue, and yellow markings on it. I always felt like the color scheme implied the tape was meant especially for my five-year-old self. In retrospect I realize there were thousands of the exact same blank tape sold, several packages of which made it to our house.

Using my trusty tape player and recorder with attached microphone, I filled that cassette with nearly an hour’s worth of nonsense. Complete and utter nonsense. I chatted with myself, sang covers of popular tunes like Colors of the Wind, re-enacted critical scenes from Pocahontas, and shared my “wushes” for people’s happiness.

For several years after making that tape, I cringed at the thought of it. It made me embarrassed. And when I think about why that is, I come to the conclusion that I was still too close to that girl—still too young to realize how precious she was.

It wasn’t until years later that I popped the tape into a new player and listened to it all the way through. I remember my mom and I sitting in my bedroom, which still had the pink walls and white dresser that were there when the tape was created. But time had changed things, and as a result I was able to enjoy that little girl and her wild imagination.

My mom and I laughed so hard that day, and I have since forth deemed that Memorex cassette tape with the bright colors and shapes as my perfect pick-me-up. Every few years I will pull it out of whatever drawer or basket it has landed in, listen, and laugh. I’m not laughing at her—rather I’m learning through her to not take myself so seriously. My younger self reminds me that a wild imagination and story telling is fun and good, that sometimes the song lyrics you invent to replace the ones you forgot are much better than the original.

Sure it’s embarrassing, but so is life. And as I’m approaching an extremely grown-up point in my life, I am inspired to listen to that cassette tape again. To take wisdom from the five-year-old inside its plastic shell. I think I’m long past due.

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nature AND nuRture interview: melissa tydell illustrations: jennifer dees photos: kristin rogers photography, james kicinski-mccoy

Meet Kristin, Jennifer, and James—three moms who have chosen to homeschool their children. In doing so, they’ve taken on the challenging yet fulfilling roles of mother and teacher.

Now, these women share their stories—how they homeschool, why they love it, and what they have learned along the way. While their curricula and perspectives may differ, it’s apparent that each woman cares deeply about her children, learning, and life.

Read on and become inspired.

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Name: Kristin Rogers Business: kristinrogersphotography.com Blog: littlehousehomeschooling.blogspot.com Children: Madison, 6 | Adia, 3 Location: Orange County, CA Years homeschooling: 2 Favorite subject to learn: History Favorite subject to teach: Art/Nature Journal

Why did you choose to homeschool? What did you consider during the decision process?

I did not know there was such a thing as homeschool until I was in my twenties. I had never heard of it or seen it done. It wasn’t until friends older and wiser than me started homeschooling their children that I got to see it played out in real life. I fell in love with what I saw, and my husband and I quickly became convinced that it was what we would want to do as well. We loved the relationship they had as a family, freedom to teach about their faith, the shorter and very focused lessons, how they were out adventuring all the time, how they were able to focus on the specific needs of each child, that they weren’t socially awkward, and the children had a love for learning that we wanted for our children.

I feel like we talked over every consideration of homeschooling—from my ability as a mom who has not been formally educated as a teacher to the social aspects of this way of schooling. Will they be weird? Will they be ready for college if they want to attend? We tackled these topics as a family and with close friends and came out fully convinced that almost all of these concerns were either invalid altogether or could be resolved, and there were just a few things we would have to figure out as we go. I went from feeling terrified and doubtful to hopeful and excited to get started.

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Do you have certain rituals, times, spaces that are just for school time?

We get through school best if we start right after breakfast, but that doesn’t always happen.

We love to do school all over—we commonly do it in different spots in the house, under a fort, in the front yard or porch, coffee shops or nature centers. It makes school exciting and learning fun for us to mix it up like that. I know many moms who like it to be more structured and have routine spaces. It just depends on your preferences.

Our day of school at Madison’s age is only around two to three hours a day with weekends off and no homework.

We also meet up with a nature group once a week that can include more than twenty kids, ranging from infants to twelve-year-olds, and a bunch of eager, fun moms that I try to learn anything I can from. We meet up at places where the kids can learn, explore and identify nature in a hands-on way with occasional trips to museums or plays.

How do you stay organized and motivated?

As far as staying organized, my husband built me a homeschooling book shelf that I adore. The bottom row is divided by what books and work we will be doing through the week, either once a week or daily. I also have a schedule that I adapted from moms wiser than me. I created it and then went to Kinko’s and got it printed on thick paper and spiral bound for under $20. This way, my week is all before me with the skeleton guidelines and I fill things in as we make it through each day.

I get very motivated and inspired by the other moms that I know personally or online that have

gone before me. Between these women and books I read on the topic, I am always gaining encouragement, different ways to approach a roadblock, how to make a certain topic fun. We have a monthly moms’ meeting that I attend where we have coffee, snacks, and good talks about topics we are facing. I am so thankful for their wisdom.

What do you love about homeschooling?

I love and am thankful for the liberty to homeschool my girls and the fact that I am the one that loves and knows them best and I can adjust it to each of their needs and levels. This last year, we slowed down in math and sped up in reading… because we could, and I love that. I love that we are with each other throughout the day learning, working on our home and their behavior, and are able to keep their schooling hours shorter because it’s one-on-one. I love that I have the liberty to bring our faith into all we learn, and I love that we can do school wherever we wish, which keeps learning so fun and interesting.

What have you learned in the process of teaching your children?

In the process of teaching my children, I have learned so, so much. I get to learn all that I need to teach them. I’m actually learning geography in my thirties! I am learning to love that I am the one who gets to be there to answer their questions and see all their “ah-ha” moments! I am delighted to learn that I am, despite all my initial fears, able to teach them what they need to know, even if that means at times I need to get advice or help to do so. I have learned a lot about myself, the good and the bad. I have learned how fun it is to be in school again, even if it’s only first grade!

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Name: Jennifer Dees Blogs: livingcminca.blogspot.com, lamoutardeforte.blogspot.com Children: Mason, 10 | Conley, 8 | Ella, 4 Location: Long Beach, California Years homeschooling: 5 Favorite subject to learn: History Favorite subject to teach: Bible

Why did you choose to homeschool? What did you consider during the decision process?

Growing up, I saw my aunt homeschool her six children during my visits to their farm in rural Michigan. Their life looked so fun and their education was a natural part of their daily rhythm. I envied the amount of time they were able to spend in nature and their knowledge of the plants and animals around them. My aunt was a thinker, and she had a huge impact on me at a young age.

When I had my own children, I don’t think I really ever considered any other way of life for them than one where we have lots of time to spend together and one where learning happens through outdoor adventures, travels, chores, great books and conversations. Having taught at a private school and my husband being a public school teacher, we both realized that we had an educational vision that had less to do with memorizing to pass tests and more to do with being engaged with ideas—logic and critical thinking being an important part of that—and we felt that we are the best equipped to teach our children our values.

How do you come up with lessons and activities? Do you follow a curriculum?

I use an online curriculum called Ambleside Online, which follows the Charlotte Mason philosophy of education. Charlotte Mason was an educator in the late 1800s who revolutionized education in England. Her philosophy emphasizes learning through well-written literature, using short, engaging lessons and time in nature. The books I’ve used from Ambleside Online are as interesting to me as they are to my children. We read biographies about historical figures that draw us in, often starting with the person’s childhood and family life, connecting us with the signifi-

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cance of the person’s life. I feel privileged to be learning from these books alongside my children, books that I was never exposed to as a child.

Do you have certain rituals, times, spaces that are just for school time?

My boys love the part of our morning when I read to them, and most mornings they get out colored pencils and draw animals or grand battle scenes as I read through our stack of books. One of our favorite activities is the nature hike we take once a week with friends. The children make discoveries of nests and strange insects, and each child has a nature journal to draw what we’ve seen that day. I also try to make our time at the grocery fun, and we try to speak only in French when we’re at the store. It’s such good practice.

What do you love about homeschooling?

I love the amount of time I have with my children and the amount of time they have together with each other. My children truly view each other as friends and as people they can go to for help. I see that my children are able to interact more comfortably with adults and with younger children than I was at their ages, as they are around people of all ages constantly, rather than spending most of their day in an age-segregated environment. And we have the time to do chores together throughout the day, which is something I feel is as important at their ages as many of the books we are reading. We are able to finish our schoolwork in three to four hours a day, without hours of homework, and that allows us to be outdoors and gives us time for creative projects.

What new challenges do you think will come up as your children grow?

As my children get older, I want to encourage them to work more and more independently. Yet this means I will miss out on some of the great books they are reading. Their growing independence will likely lead them to pursuing separate educational goals, and while I want to be able to aid them in their separate pursuits, this will be a challenge to my resourcefulness!

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What do you think is the biggest misconception or concern about homeschooling? How do you address it?

The most frequently posed question I hear when I tell people I am homeschooling is, “What about socialization?” This question presupposes that children who attend public or private school are adequately socialized, which is not always the case. Every parent must ask themselves, what does it mean for a child to be properly socialized? Is a child well-adjusted because they are familiar with current pop music groups and dress to reflect popular clothing styles? Or is a better indication of a child’s being properly socialized how well they are able to converse with adults, display respectful manners, their ability to make a cogent argument, and utilize their vocabulary?

According to my vision of what it looks like to be properly socialized, attending public school is no guarantee of this. And certainly my children aren’t guaranteed to be properly socialized simply because they are homeschooled. We do participate in classes and other social outings which will help form them. But I don’t feel that children who are homeschooled are at any disadvantage to being well socialized due to our educational choice.

What advice would you share with families who are considering or are currently homeschooling?

Don’t underestimate your child’s ability to comprehend books with a rich vocabulary when they listen to you read. Choose books that contain ideas that your children will want to ponder, in and outside of school. Books written from a firstperson perspective or written by someone who is passionate about his or her field will do more to inspire a love of that subject in a child than a textbook in most cases. I personally would rather my children remember the struggles Abigail Adams faced as she lived apart from her husband while he served in the first Continental Congress than have them remember the date she was born, so I choose books that foster discussion or emphasize a human struggle or triumph, rather than focus on a list of dates and events.

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Name: James Kicinski-McCoy Blog: bleubirdblog.com Children: Julian, 11 | Milla Plum, 9 | Gemma Bird, 2 | Boy due October 5th Location: Houston, TX Years homeschooling: 2 Favorite subject to learn: History Favorite subject to teach: Science

Why did you choose to homeschool? What did you consider during the decision process?

I chose to homeschool after my two oldest children had gone to public school for several years. Julian was just about to go into sixth grade, which here in Texas moves him up into middle school. Plum was going into third grade. Their dad and I decided that once the kids reached middle school age, we would reevaluate our options, as neither of us wanted our children to attend public middle school and high school for many reasons. We want our kids to stay kids. In today’s society, children are growing up very fast and being exposed to many things at a very young age that aren’t appropriate. We also wanted to help protect them from certain peer pressures, bullying, etc. We wanted our kids to continue to enjoy learning, to learn at their own pace, and we think it is important for them to focus on topics and subjects that they are passionate about and that really interest them.

How do you come up with lesson plans and activities? Do you follow a specific curriculum?

I do not follow one set curriculum. When I first embarked on the homeschooling journey, I took the advice of several other homeschooling parents and researched all different approaches. There are so many different ways to learn and I found it important to try different methods to make sure that we found something that fit the lifestyle and mold of our family.

I ultimately combined three different methods: the Charlotte Mason method, Montessori, and a good dose of unschooling. I absolutely fell in love with the Charlotte Mason method; however, it is heavily based on religion and we are not religious. I read every book I could get my hands on—hers and many written by others on her philosophy. I adopted much of what

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I read as it just made sense; however, I left out the heavy religious influence. It was real and very handson. Instead of textbooks, we read actual live books written by the people who lived through a significant event or made it their passion to really tell the full truths about a subject. Textbooks tend to dumb down information in order to cram a little of everything into one’s head and prepare one for testing, instead of really teaching the in-depth how, when, why, where, and because of something. We also read poetry and great American literature. Instead of testing as most educational methods practice, we journal about what we have read, what we have learned. We create an art project about the subject. We narrate what we learned back to one another. We have discussions. We work through questions together and find answers together. We are all learning, myself included. For other subjects where direction and teaching is necessary, we have short lessons rather than longer, drawn-out ones that can lead to boredom and disinterest. This works well for us.

We also incorporate some Montessori into our schooling. My children learn at their own pace and are given the freedom to work on their own for most of the day. They are encouraged to be “hands-on” with activities and participate in regular household responsibilities to help support independence. I have even started implementing a lot of Montessori with my youngest daughter. She sweeps up her messes and puts things back where she got them. She helps with sorting laundry and picking up trash, along with many other things.

I am also a fan of the unschooling philosophy. I don’t believe in classrooms. I believe it’s better to use the world as your textbook, to go out and discover hands-on. Everything can be turned into a learning opportunity and I do my best to always show that in

what we do. The kids also take outside lessons with other kids—ballet, art, music lessons. They love documentaries and sometimes choose to watch one during their free time. We are always learning.

What do you love about homeschooling?

I love the freedom—the freedom to take our time, to explore, to dig a little deeper into things that interest us. I love watching my kids read books that they are truly interested in—a historical book in hand, swaying to and fro in the hammock on our front porch—and then hearing all about it afterwards.

I love listening to the questions that they ask and helping them find the answers. I love giving them this gift. I truly feel that is what it is—a gift. Not everyone is able to offer such an invaluable gift to his or her children and I am thankful that I can.

What have you learned in the process of teaching your children?

I have learned to love learning again myself. I think that adults tend to think they already know it all and that they are educated enough. I have learned that this is so far from true. We are always learning. I am learning things that I only skimmed the surface on in school. I am rediscovering things that at one time I just pushed aside. I am learning to appreciate knowledge and its importance.

What advice would you share with families who are considering or are currently homeschooling?

I would say to take your time figuring it out. There is no right way or wrong way to homeschool. You are not going to screw up your kids if you don’t have everything figured out perfectly in the beginning. Like life, it’s a learning experience—truly. Have fun, don’t get too serious, and listen to your kids. Let them be a part of the process. It is their education, after all.

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SIX WEEKS ON THE

open road One couple and the road trip that taught them about the goodness of the human spirit.

It started on a whim, with a conversation as the weather turned cool about leaving town and finding adventure. Chasing a dream, something new.

Just the two of us, new husband and wife—also business partners. We had spent the last months creating photo shoots in Michigan, on the shores of the lake, in local diners that opened their doors early for us, but we were ready to photograph faces that lived in cities far away, places we had never been.

We packed six weeks of our lives—clothes for the heat of summer and the dead of winter, our cameras and lenses, On the Road and other au-

dio books, bottles of Michigan wine—into our black Honda four-door and left our city. It was a trip that was planned meticulously, but we could never have expected all that lay ahead, all that we would learn as we lived on little sleep, on stranger’s floors, and on the goodness of new friends. It was unknown and could become anything.

We headed first for Nashville, cut straight through the midwest on I-65, straight into mountains and country music and a hospitality that was to become the theme for our next six weeks.

From there, we went south to Texas—Houston, then Austin, then far west to the desert-town of

Text: Mae Stier Photos: Bryan and Mae

Sedona, AZ

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Sedona, AZ

Six Weeks on the Open Road 36

Marfa. Each place was filled with connections, with friends we had met just once before or for the first time in the Texas heat, by the pool at the Thunderbird Hotel. We had lunch with strangers, sat around a bonfire with new friends. In Austin, we stayed up late playing guitar and telling stories with a couple we’d waited a year to finally meet.

Through it all, we were doing what we loved.

Every day waking to scout a new location for a photo shoot or edit photos from the day before, and every afternoon we were photographing new people. We were collaborating as artists, creating stories we hoped would speak something true about human existence. Our aim was to capture beauty, to show that despite so much dark in the world, there is something wonderful to be found.

We didn’t expect that we would be learning the truth of that sentiment along the way, but we found the beauty in every new interaction.

After Texas, we were in Arizona—Tucson, then Sedona and the Grand Canyon. When we were driving west from Grand Canyon National Park, we found an unpaved road on a Native American reservation that we could follow to the Colorado River. We paid $50 to use the road, and wound 25 miles down the canyon through an old riverbed. We laughed as we passed a Jeep and a large truck—the only other vehicles that dared to make the journey. We felt large rocks against the bottom of the Accord—our car was not built for this—but we kept pushing forward. When we reached the bottom, we chatted with the ranger checking for permits, then climbed boulders along the edge of the river to skinny dip in a hidden pool. We drove back up the rock-strewn road slowly, stopping to see wild burros who wanted to say hello.

In Las Vegas, exhaustion caught up with us and we found ourselves wishing for a day off. But days off weren’t in our schedule and instead we were in the desert, catching the sun, photographing two women whose smiles and stories refreshed us. They talked about college degrees and the dreams they had to counsel others. Their energy reminded us that the lack of sleep was worth it.

There was a steady cadence amidst the chaos— on late night drives from one city to the next, in

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early mornings loading up our car for another day of shooting. Everywhere we went, we were engulfed by people wanting to bring goodness to our journey by offering a free meal, a beer, a tour of their city. If we hadn’t known it before, we were certainly learning that human beings are at their best when they are sharing life with each other.

And we were experiencing the richness of a life that is shared.

This became all the more evident in California.

We went to an art show with local photographers in L.A., explored Echo Park with friends whom we wished lived closer. In San Diego we slept in the garage guest room of friends who made us vegan nacho cheese and asked us questions that made us pause. They were not questions about where we had been, physically, on our journey.

Rather, they asked us questions about what we believed about the world, about God, about life, and we became vulnerable and honest with them.

When we turned away from the Pacific Ocean our last night, it was with feet shuffling across the sand, as we looked back over our shoulders to catch the last bits of light.

From California we drove through the night to Salt Lake City, then onto Denver for our last leg.

We stayed with old friends whom we had seen get married and then pick up their lives and move across the country. It was a week of movie nights and mornings going out to breakfast, with a drive into the mountains to skate across a frozen lake.

Laughter filled in the months we had been apart and we found that we all fit together easily again.

We returned home filled with desert sand and ocean wind and an exuberance we had caught from all those who had cared for us, those who had housed us and fed us and listened to us.

That life, the experiences that had breathed renewal into us, welcomed us back home, invited us to more fully invest in the friends who surrounded us. Our first night home was spent on the porch over glasses of wine with the friends we had missed while we were away. As the sun sank low, hours before it would sink over the Pacific, laughter and conversations overlapped and filled the night air.

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(top to bottom, left to right) 1, 2: Grand Canyon, AZ | 3: Marfa, TX | 4, 5, 6: the drive through West Texas

Six Weeks on the Open Road 38

Nashville, TN

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Los Angeles, CA

Six Weeks on the Open Road 40

A sample of one of the photoshoots Bryan and Mae did while on their trip!

Houston, TX | Models: Caroline from Neal Hamil, Sara, Dylan and Gaby

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St. Olaf

Text: Anna Klenke photo: Whitney Johnson & Dave Tuttle

Greg Kneser had been the Director of Housing at St. Olaf College, a small liberal arts school in Northfield, Minnesota, for two years when his secretary called his office one afternoon.

Kneser leaned back in his chair. “Why don’t you tell me what happened to you,” he said, “and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Greg,” she whispered into the phone. “I have two students out here who want to speak with you.”

The Boy in the Red Baseball Cap

“What do they want to talk about?” Kneser asked.

“I don’t know,” the secretary said, still whispering. “They won’t tell me. But they really want to see you.”

“Okay,” Kneser said, confused. “Send them back.”

A moment later, two girls stepped into Kneser’s office. One of them had a big gash across her forehead, which was not bandaged and looked very fresh. He stared for a moment, then looked away.

“What can I help you with?” he asked.

These two girls, Morgan and Rachel, were sophomores living together in a dorm named Thorson Hall, which had been built in the 1930s. Their room was small so they had bunked their beds to make more space, but were best friends and got along really well together despite the cramped conditions. For the first few months of the school year, they had noticed strange things happening in their room; lights flickering, two CDs that wouldn’t play the tracks in the right order on their CD player, and other small incidents that could easily be explained away. But one night, Morgan, who slept on the bottom bunk, screamed, awakening her roommate.

The girls glanced at each other, seeming unsure about whether to speak. Then the girl with the bleeding forehead nodded slightly and took a deep breath. “We’re here to see the ghost file.”

“There’s a guy in the room!” she yelled. “There’s a guy in here!”

Many colleges have ghost stories that get passed down through generations of students. Cal State University and the University of Illinois are both known for strange happenings and scary stories, while Ohio University is known as America’s most haunted college campus. But Kneser had never heard of any ghosts at St. Olaf, and certainly had never seen a ghost file.

Over the next few weeks, this same thing happened again several times. Morgan would wake up in the middle of the night, see a guy in the room, and scream to wake Rachel up. The guy was always wearing a red baseball cap, and was sitting in different areas of the room; on the floor, at one of the desks, on the windowsill.

Rachel never saw him, and soon got tired of being woken up in the middle of the night by her hysterical roommate.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” he said.

“We don’t have a ghost file.”

The girls leaned in closer. “We know that there is a secret ghost file, and we’re aware that you have to deny that it even exists,” one said. “But we really need to see it.”

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They both leapt out of bed and turned on the light. No one was there.

When the four-day fall break rolled around, Morgan decided to go home for the weekend, just to get away. Rachel stayed on campus and took advantage of having the room to herself. She got plenty of sleep while Morgan was gone, and

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St. Olaf Ghosts 44

didn’t notice anything strange in the room. On the last morning of break, she bumped into one of her other friends in the bathroom.

“Who was that guy you had over last night?” the friend asked.

“Oh, I didn’t have anybody over last night,” Rachel said. “I studied a little bit and went to bed early.”

“No, really,” her friend persisted. “I went into your room and there was a guy wearing a red baseball cap sitting on the end of your bed. Who is he?”

That night, Morgan returned home and Rachel told her what her friend had said about the boy being in their room.

“See?” Morgan said, exasperated. “This is what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

A few weeks later, Rachel woke up in the middle of the night. She peered over the edge of her bed and saw a boy wearing a red baseball cap sitting on the floor. She screamed and Morgan bolted upright, slamming into the metal bar that hung down from the top bunk and opening up a gash right in the middle of her forehead.

The two girls immediately went to their RA’s room and woke her up to tell her the story of what had been happening over the past few months.

She told them to go see Greg Kneser and demand to see the ghost file. “It’s two inches thick, with all the accounts of ghost stories at St. Olaf,” she said. “He had to deny that it exists, but tell him that you know that he has it and maybe he’ll let you see it. Whatever is going on in your room will be in that file.”

At the time that Morgan and Rachel went to see Kneser in his office, there was no ghost file at St. Olaf. But there is now. Kneser brings it with him when he visits the dorms each year around Halloween to tell students the St. Olaf ghost stories that he has heard over the years. About half of the ten dorms at the small college have ghosts associated with them, and Kneser has heard matching descriptions of the ghosts from students who attended St. Olaf ten or more years apart.

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“I used to be a skeptic,” he tells the groups of students who crowd onto couches and sit on the floor to listen to his ghost stories. “But the stories you’re going to hear tonight are the ones that made me scratch my head and say, ‘Okay, I don’t know how that could have happened.’”

Some of his stories, like the one about the boy in the red baseball cap, are dramatic. Others are more subtle, just a brief sighting of a woman in a white dress who disappears when you turn your head, or child-sized handprints on a frostcovered window on the fourth floor. All of them are terrifying… especially if you live in one of the dorms where supernatural activities are rumored to occur.

Kneser has talked with paranormal experts who give advice about how to handle a ghostly encounter: “The first step to understanding ghost sightings is understanding how your eyes work,” he says.

“Your eyes actually collect more light from your peripheral vision, which is why people often see ghosts out of the corner of their eyes. You can actually see better from the side. When you turn your head to look at the ghost straight on, it seems like the ghost disappears. But the ghost doesn’t disappear. It’s still there; you just can’t see it anymore.”

He even has advice for what to do about an unwanted ghostly presence: “It’s very simple to get rid of a ghost. All you have to do, whenever the lights are flickering or you see the ghost or whatever strange thing you have going on is happening, is say very loud and clearly, ‘You are not welcome here. Please leave me alone.’ And that should take care of the problem.”

Whether you are a true believer or a skeptic, Kneser’s stories will send a chill down your spine. And he is always hearing new stories, which makes it difficult for him to entirely discount the reality of ghosts on St. Olaf’s campus.

“Some of the things that people tell me are very, very strange,” he says. “And a lot of it is difficult to explain.”

MEET :

Gabriella Ganugi interview: Katie Michels photos: David Weiss and Katie Michels

Over two years ago I spent seven weeks studying abroad in Florence, Italy.

During that time I was introduced to a strong and admirable woman named Gabriella Ganugi—the founder of the school my friends and I were attending while overseas. Born and raised in Florence, Gabriella started Apicius International School of Hospitality fifteen years ago without any partners. Whether she realized it or not, this woman greatly inspired and influenced me during my weeks abroad. I’m proud to introduce her to all of you.

Above: Gabriella (center) with members of the culinary arts program.

Please share the history of Florence University of the Arts. How, when, and why did you start the school?

In 1997 I started Apicius International School of Hospitality. Previously I worked for twelve years as the Dean of Academics for an International School in Florence and I always had a passion for food and wine so I decided to combine all my passions together. The beginning was very difficult, I had no money and in addition I was a woman.

My recently published memoir La Bambina Che Contava le Formiche (The Little Girl Who Counted Ants) describes how difficult it was to start my dream all by myself. It was only in 2004 that I decided to start FUA. Now FUA has absorbed Apicius into one Institution.

What is your educational background?

I have a Ph.D. in Architecture and in addition I am a professional chef. I always loved to write so I like to describe myself as a writer as well. I have published seventeen books.

FUA offers a variety of programs at multiple campuses in the heart of Florence. What motivated the curriculum choices, and if you were to go back to school, which offered program would you choose to study?

The idea is to offer specialized programs to different international students wishing to specialize in a specific subject. I would study Pastry/Culinary Arts and Digital Media.

Starting a university is a huge investment of time, money, and self. Why take the leap? What inspired you despite obstacles?

It’s a personal mission. I believe in international education and if I can change the life of one student it makes me tremendously happy!

A large percentage of students at FUA are either studying abroad or foreign to Italy. Was this focus group intentional? How did you find schools in the States to partner with?

I not only wanted to have a professional international school but I also wanted to offer to students an authentic and real Florence while still learning academics and a profession. Studying abroad is such an important part of growing up, learning about other cultures first-hand and getting to know ones own self. Not through the mouth or reading about another country from someone else but experiencing it first-hand.

Studying abroad can change positively a student’s life for ever and when they return home they may study even better, harder, be more tolerant of others and cross barriers that may have seemed impossible to cross before.

Robert Morris University was one of my first affiliate universities in culinary and hospitality.

Apicius was selected among many schools in Europe to be the RMU partner school in Italy even before they started the Culinary Arts major.

Putting together all the logistics to make a program abroad the best it can be is our mission.

The theme of our fall issue is “lessons learned.”

From my own experience I know that you work closely with the students at FUA and enjoy staying connected after they leave. What lessons have you learned from them over the years?

I have learned that young people need opportunities to find out who they are and what they want to be in life. If I were to be simply an administrator or the president of a school that would distance me from my original goal. Although I know that when something grows happily, as in the case of FUA, it requires more and more time in an office just to keep things running, but doing that would not be true to myself. As you know first-hand if I were not directly involved to interact with or teach some of the students who pass through the halls at FUA, I wouldn’t accomplish my mission.

Unfortunately today I cannot interact with all of my students... just a handful such as yourself.

FUA.IT

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Meet: Gabriella Ganugi 48

ON FINDING YOURSELF 20,000 FEET IN THE AIR Blogger and tech geek, Diana La Counte’s humorous lesson from above the clouds.

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I was in a plane on my way home over Greenland. There was so much turbulence, that I felt like I had seen it before…oh yeah, the opening of LOST. That’s how bad the turbulence was. The only thing missing was a convict hand-cuffed to a briefcase. As the plane was dropping thousands of feet over the snowy mountains (I could see the numbers drop in front of my screen. They really need to turn those off when something like this happens), strangers who hadn’t spoken a word to each other the whole flight were holding hands. The pilot was screaming something in French. The flight attendants were seated holding hands and crying. The rest of the people on the flight in their last moments were trying to turn on cellphones to call loved ones.

So what was I doing?

I was scrambling to change my iPad videos.

I am not going down watching The O.C. I do not want my last moments to be remembered as me watching Seth Cohen making a bagel. Should I check my iPod?? What was the last thing I played? Save Ferris, really?? NOOOO. Instead of dealing with the last moments of death like a normal healthy person, I was trying to cover up who I really was. I think that was more embarrassing than actually watching a teen drama show.

Thankfully, the plane didn’t crash, but it did instill in me a new form of awareness, along with the fear of ever taking an international flight. I’m embracing who I really am, trashy TV shows and all.

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40

BEFORE

20

at the tender age of eighteen, student and blogger kara haupt made a list of forty goals to be achieved by her twentieth birthday. not only did she complete her goals, she learned a few things along the way.

ESSAY AND PHOTOS: KARA HAUPT

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In January of 2011, I was eighteen years old and I made a list of forty items to be completed by June 26th of 2012, the day that I would turn twenty.

I made that list and then suddenly, like a blink, it was June 25th and I was furiously learning to crochet at 9:00 pm.

Typically bucket lists like this are rarely completed, and it always makes me sad. I am a religious list-maker and I’m also very introspective, meaning that New Year’s resolutions are one of my favorite things. But that year I was tired of my broad resolutions and I wanted to make a list of specific things to accomplish.

I put some seemingly unimportant things on that list, like “bake a loaf of bread” and “go to a country music concert.” I also put some incredibly wonderful things on it—like photograph my grandparents and make someone happy-cry. I photographed and then blogged every item on my list... and suddenly I was twenty.

I did everything on my 40 before 20 list. Well, I tried to do everything. And I realized, while

watching Youtube tutorials on crocheting on the eve of my twentieth birthday, that maybe that was the point. To try.

I was on the opposite side of the country from where I had made that list in January of 2011. I was now beginning my twenties. And I was doing it at a different college, with a new hair color, with a new major, with a new set of friends, and I was doing it while living with my best friend and the world’s cutest kitten. I had grown up so much in those eighteen months and I realized, there were still things in my life that I was unsure about, but there I was... trying.

I didn’t really learn to crochet that night. I made a lot of jokes about my procrastination and sang along quietly to Barbra Streisand.

People have asked me for tips or ideas to make their own birthday list. But most of the time they are asking how to accomplish it. I just tell them to try. To write about it. To photograph it. And to try, because that’s all you can do.

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1. buy an instant camera.

2. go on a roadtrip with friends.

3. publish a ‘zine.

4. take ten photos of strangers.

5. start a business with me.

6. go to ellis island.

7. see a broadway show.

8. take photos in silver city, idaho.

9. volunteer somewhere.

10. be a vegan for two weeks to a month.

11. take portraits of grandma and grandpa.

12. create my own photography website.

13. get a medium format camera.

14. read a jane austen book.

15. go salsa dancing.

16. go to the bruneau sand dunes.

17. embroider something.

18. take photos of mama.

19. bake a loaf of bread.

20. visit a new east coast state.

21. learn to crochet.

22. throw a pretty party.

23. go roller skating.

24. try african food.

25. buy rainboots.

26. paint a series of paintings.

27. revisit and photograph my childhood neighborhood.

28. take “random objects� photos.

29. have an art picnic.

30. go to a country music concert.

31. buy a bikini.

32. create a mini stop motion film.

33. build a blanket fort.

34. stay in a junky motel.

35. sew something.

36. leave a note for a stranger.

37. submit at least twenty things for publication.

38. go on a no-soda challenge for a month.

39. make someone happy-cry.

40. photograph this list.

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40 Before 20 54

The Most Important Things text: Brittany Austin PHotos: Katie Michels

The Most Important things 62

In Miss Fisher’s sixth grade classroom, the tall, tall walls were covered with posters of the Milky Way and Saturn’s rings. We learned of outer space, about Mars and about the water and microorganisms that could maybe be there. We made impressive space stations out of cardboard and tin foil and filled them with miniature showers made from collected bottle caps, paper clips, and carefully cut squares of paper towels that we dyed with washable marker.

One day, our teacher told us that she’d been invited to Florida, to the Kennedy Space Center, to watch a shuttle launch with a few other teachers from around the country. We knew all about the shuttles, because she had taught us. We knew about the first ones, and about the new ones, and about the ones that died with people inside. We knew each name of each shuttle (though they all escape me now) and we knew about each of the missions.

Miss Fisher went to Cape Canaveral for the launch weekend, and when she came back to school on Monday, she cried in front of all of us and told us that the billows of white smoke pushing those little people up through the atmosphere was just the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Some of us felt happy that she was so happy, and some

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of us squirmed in our maroon chairs because we didn’t know about teachers and tears. But we knew that she knew that space was important— that learning about things outside of ourselves is just the most important thing.

Halfway through the year Miss Fisher gave each of us, her thirty-two children, a clean notebook and a clicky mechanical pencil and instructed us to write a story about whatever we wanted. It could be true or completely imagined, but we had to write it down.

I hemmed and hawed and wrote and edited and wrote and edited. I finally cemented my words in black, inky pen and illustrated my tale with colored pencils. It was a silly story about a girl and a library and a lost $1,000 bill, but I presented it to Miss Fisher with all the hope in my sixth grade world. I sat across the table from her, our knees almost touching underneath. She leaned across the swirls of the faux-wood surface and said, “Brittany, you’re a writer!” The exclamation in her voice didn’t say surprise or shock, it said proud and encouragement.

She told me I was a writer, and so I was. And I am. I am a writer because she first said I could be one. Later that year, our class wrote a play

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The Most Important things 58

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together and she commissioned me (me!) to write my very own scene. She believed in my ideas and in some small kernel of talent that may or may not have been there. Miss Fisher taught me that telling stories and telling my story is just the most important thing.

Soon it was April, and no one could stop wiggling and giggling because spring spring spring was all that we could think. School was almost out for good, and the warm weather tickled our brains and our good sense. Miss Fisher was sick one morning, and in her place stood a substitute teacher who was tender and fresh. At some point during the day, John or Tanner or Jared or Ethan stood on one of those maroon chairs, pulled the round industrial clock off of the carpet wall, and turned that minute hand fortyfive minutes forward.

We snickered all day, waiting for the big hand to tock to 3:30 p.m. It would be time to go home, the sub would think, and she would let us leave the classroom, and wouldn’t she be shocked when the bell rang three quarters of an hour later and every other door at Jordan Ridge Elementary school erupted with children and chatter. Wouldn’t she be embarrassed.

She was, I’m sure she was. But I can’t know because I left with the rest of my class. No one stayed behind.

The next day, Miss Fisher was back and she knew, of course she knew. She taught us about pyramids and mummies that morning, but she was silent about our collective crime. The silence screamed at each of us—I remember my stomach icing over slowly from creeping guilt. The lunch bell rang and we rustled from our seats. “One minute, please,” she said. She stood squarely in the front of the green chalkboard, her pretty brown hair shifting on her shoulders as her smart eyes roved the room. She said simply, “I expect a lot from you, and I know that you won’t go along with something like that again because you are better than that, you are.” No accusations made.

No confessions required. Miss Fisher said one sentence. But she also said that being honest and good is just as important as having fun and welcoming spring. Integrity, she said, is just the most important thing.

I’ve had exquisite teachers, professors, and mentors since sixth grade. They’ve taught me the most complex and sophisticated things. They’ve taught me how to write a poem, how to do my taxes, how to understand the Constitution. They’ve helped me become the thinker and the woman that I am.

But I think of Miss Fisher often. I think of the tall, tall classroom where I learned the littlest things— explore, learn, tell stories, be proud, be honest, be the best that you are. They’re just the most important things.

The Most Important things 60

To Kenya,

with love a poignant depiction of one young woman’s charity efforts in kenya, and a reminder that every person—no matter their age or background—can teach us lessons to last a lifetime.

text and photos: Haley Withers

creative non-fiction

To Kenya, With Love 62

As I walked up the muddy path to Sarah’s house, I heard a laugh full to the brim with happiness and joy. “Karibu, karibu,” she repeated over and over, “Welcome.” Her arms embraced me, and she welcomed me into her home to tell me her story—far more heartbreaking than you would realize from her smile. Sarah is HIV positive and has problems with her arms and legs, which limit her mobility, and at seventy years old, has been left to take care of her grandchildren.

Despite all of this, Sarah says to me, “I want to sing for you because I am thankful for my life and all I have.” As she says this, she stands up, and begins to sing and dance to a beautiful Swahili song. I will never forget this moment, an experience that reversed everything I thought I knew about true happiness.

The times I have learned the most are those when I have traveled far from home — the times I have been dropped in a foreign world and must become a child again. Everything becomes brand new, scary even, but it is these experiences that change us from the inside out. My recent visit to the beautiful country of Kenya allowed me to experience life in a totally new way. Life in Kenya is simpler: less about want, more about need. In a way, this lifestyle seems daunting. A simpler life allows for more time to think, and more time to acknowledge the beauty of this world around us.

As I volunteered in Kenya with Children of Promise, I was given the opportunity to truly experience the simple life through living with the people and working with the people to set up sponsorships to allow their children to attend school.

Walking along the seemingly endless dirt roads winding through the hills, I couldn’t help but notice the pure joy of the people and their genuine smiles. The hearts of these people were different than anyone I had ever met. Although many could barely afford to feed themselves, they were always willing to brew a pot of tea or go to the

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market for some fruit to share. Open arms and invitations to chat were never in short supply.

This love for a stranger is not something I have witnessed often at home. It was refreshing to realize that material possessions did not need to be the determining factor of happiness.

The more homes I visited, the more I began to realize that joy isn’t dependent on what we have.

Rather, joy comes from within.

Of course, when describing the joy and happiness of the many Kenyans I met, you cannot help but mention the children, who were yet another blessing I received this summer. Though stares first met me whenever I would walk up to the schoolhouses, they were always followed by big, white, toothy smiles. A group of fifty excited children gathering around you might be a bit frightening at first, but then the laughter begins as they all call “Mzungu! Mzungu!” At that moment, I knew I was accepted. Mzungu— Swahili for “white person”—was a common greeting seeing as I was an anomaly in this village.

Being around these children and their smiles was a sure-fire way to brighten the darkest of days.

My time in Kenya was a time of learning, loving and living. Daily, I learned new lessons about happiness and joyfulness, strength and hope.

Kenya is a place filled to the brim with hope and promise for a new future. These people are trying to give the best to their children to ensure a better future, one of education and freedom to remove themselves from a life poverty. I cannot say enough hopeful words to describe this beautiful country. The people, the mountains, the animals, even the air itself is filled with a sense of simplicity, optimism, and beauty. Above all else, my time in Kenya was a lesson of love and pure joy. Love the life you are living and love the people around you. Like Sarah, be joyful always, in the face of all.

creative non-fiction

To Kenya, With Love 64

An Interview About

Love

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Navigating my first full year without school, I’ve come to realize that the lessons never really stop.

The classroom setting is gone, yes, but there is plenty to be learned in the real world. In addition to figuring out daily practicalities like utility bills and basic budgeting, this is a good time to take a stab at life’s big questions. How do I fit into a new job or a new city? How do I adjust to a routine that I create for myself?

I recently had the pleasure of getting to know Mara and Danny Kofoed, the couple behind A Blog About Love. Together, they tackle one of these big questions: How should we love and, more importantly, how do we love well? It’s a daunting question, but it lies at the heart of life. And this pair takes every opportunity to help themselves—and others—answer it.

First, tell us a little bit about yourselves. Where are you from originally?

We were both born and raised out West. I am from Arizona and grew up in Snowflake and Mesa. Danny grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah.

How did you end up in New York City?

We both wanted to pursue our dreams and career goals in the East. I moved to New York City on January 1, 2000. As I flew into NYC, the pilot announced the temperature was one degree. Being a desert rat, I didn’t even own a real coat or scarf or gloves. I was pretty hard up that first year. But somehow I survived. Nearly thirteen years later, I’m still here and call Brooklyn my home.

you, we had been through a lot at that point in our lives and so because of that, we had a very clear vision of what was important in a marriage and were also very good at recognizing those qualities in others.) After three weeks of what we consider the best love letters in history, we met each other on a street corner in New York City. The Macy’s Day Fireworks show went off above us while our eyes met and we hugged for the first time. Well, that’s what it felt like, anyway. We were, in fact, glowing—so much that people stopped and stared. We’ve been madly in love ever since. We married seven months after meeting and have lived happily in Brooklyn as husband and wife for the last twelve years.

How did the two of you meet?

We met because—well—a little miracle happened.

I met a woman briefly at a friend’s get-together in Manhattan. A few months later she reconnected with Danny, who was her old friend from Boston, and suggested that Danny and I should meet each other. It’s amazing that this little connection turned into The Greatest Connection of Our Lives! Danny and I wrote each other by email.

And in one day, I tell you, we could tell we had tremendous respect for each other and the lives we were trying to live. Okay, the real truth? In one day we already were jaw-dropped, stunned, and completely smitten—because we could tell we had met the spouses of our dreams. (Mind

Where did the inspiration to start your blog come from?

Our blog is all about sharing wisdom. Looking back to my early twenties, I realize now that I didn’t really have the tools or wisdom I needed to fully thrive. But luckily as the years went by, I started to apply some very specific tools to my life that changed me to the core. During that time, I was facing several years of infertility plus a divorce in my early thirties, including all of the challenges that come along with both of those experiences. But because of the things I started to learn, I not only survived that time of my life, but literally thrived through it—so much that I treasure those times more than anything. It was truly

interview: Caroline Nitz photos: Jonathan Canlas Photography An Interview About Love 66

a miracle to me that this was possible. I felt so blessed that I had the tools I needed. And I just knew that other people could benefit from them as well. And so, to give back, I decided to start the blog and share what I knew with anyone out there who might be like I was before I learned these lessons.

What made you decide to tackle the topic of love?

I tackled the topic of love—because, well, that is the greatest tool of all. Love for others (the real kind) and love for yourself (the real kind) is hands down the greatest way to improve your life and thrive with happiness. There really is nothing better than that. So that’s why I called it A Blog About Love. I wanted Love to be the theme of everything we did. Really, in each post I try to teach in various ways what it looks like to live a life motivated by love.

You have a great series called “The Most Important Things I’ve Ever Learned (About Love).”

What do you hope your readers will take from it?

This series came about because there were some really core principles that caused my life to shift.

I knew how powerful they were. They whipped me out of the pit—literally the pit of my life. At the time I had been commuting back and forth from Manhattan to Brooklyn and had been experiencing so much sadness and grief at the

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time that I could barely walk or breathe. My first husband’s life was crumbling before my eyes, and he expressed to me that after seven years of marriage he never had love for me. It was a heartbreaking time. But it was then, in that pit, that I started to learn what real love for a human being was all about. I had some wonderful guidance from a true Spiritual Healer that I had met in the city. And I began to truly embody real love for my husband—not as a husband—but as a human being. I began to truly embody real love for myself, as a woman with worth and value and potential. And I began to truly embody love for my future life—with or without a husband, with or without a future family. All I knew was I wanted to be the best I could be for all those around me, and embodying love would allow me to be the kind of woman I wanted to be. That series of posts I wrote were the principles that turned my life around on a dime. They were the ones that provided me with the most empowerment and the most lasting change.

Something that’s so unique about your blog is that you offer online classes. What made you decide to expand your blog with this interactive element?

I think what motivated us the most to expand our blog to include these classes were our readers. I have an invitation on my blog to meet for a walk in the park to talk about the things we discuss on

ablogaboutlove.com the blog. It didn’t take long for a few people to take me up on that. And if they couldn’t take me up on it, readers would write me emails saying they couldn’t wait to come to New York one day and take me up on my offer. I realized there were a lot more people out there wanting that kind of interaction and connection, and classes seemed like a pretty natural extension of that. Plus, Danny really loves to teach... I mean really, really loves to teach. So the whole thing just kind of fit our personalities and what we wanted to do.

How do you decide what subjects to discuss?

Coming up with class topics was actually pretty easy. Danny and I have been talking to friends and co-workers and family and strangers about this stuff for the last couple of years. Over that time we’ve realized there are a few subjects that come up in every conversation, those subjects have kind of become our foundational principles.

So we just sat down together one night and wrote down the principles that were most dear to us, principles we believed could help anyone come to understand how they could have greater happiness and love and peace in this life, in good times and in bad times. Once we had the list, we grouped concepts that should be taught together, and by the time we were finished we had the outline for six classes. We’d love to expand that in the future and offer a few more, but we’re kind of taking a break for now. Preparing these classes literally took every ounce of our free time for about a month and a half.

What has the response from participants been?

What’s the enrollment like?

So far the response to the online classes has been absolutely terrific. Danny and I were both a little concerned at first that it would be very difficult to really engage and interact with people in this kind of forum. Sometimes we have thirty to forty people in a class. Attendees can see us but we can’t see them, so we were worried that it would

feel a little awkward talking to a screen. But it hasn’t been like that at all! I remember the first time we hosted a class and the names of the attendees started popping up. Tears came to my eyes. We recognized so many of the names from blog comments or emails and suddenly we felt this instant connection to these people. It felt like they were in our living room with us. It was really amazing. After each class, Danny and I always receive many emails from people—thanking us for what we’re doing and the things we are teaching.

Our favorite is when people write to tell us how they applied the principles that week and how it’s already making a difference! It is really humbling to see the way people’s lives are changing. I think what I love about it all is I can totally relate to them. Some of them write me and I just think “I was in their shoes only five years ago, and if someone hadn’t taught me this stuff I don’t know where I’d be now.”

What did you hope to learn from starting your blog? Any unexpected lessons along the way?

I’m not sure I was hoping to learn anything by starting the blog. More than anything, I was hoping I’d be able to make a difference in somebody’s life. But I certainly have learned quite a bit along the way. For one, I’ve learned I’m a writer!

Before this, I’m not sure that I’d ever really considered myself a writer. But now it’s what I do every single day (and night!) of the week.

It’s very challenging, but incredibly rewarding as well.

We’ve also grown a deeper appreciation for all of the things we write about on the blog. The more we offer love to those around us (by blogging and sharing), the more joy and satisfaction we feel. Likewise, so many of our readers are tapping into that same joy as they, too, transform their lives and choose to live with more love. It has been extraordinary to hear of their journeys and successes.

An Interview About Love 68

SWEET, SWEET POTATO A fun and natural twist on the traditional Thanksgiving sweet potato casserole.

Just try to not eat it all before your holiday get-together!

recipe: Katie Michels photos: Heather Zweig

4 cups sweet potatoes (approximately 3 to 4 potatoes) 1 cup pecans, chopped 1 cup dates, chopped 1/4 cup grade B maple syrup (or honey) 2 tablespoons orange juice 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon salt Butter or butter substitute for topping (optional) Powdered sugar for topping (optional)

1: Peel the sweet potatoes and cut into 1/2 inch cubes. Place in medium pot and cover with cold water. Bring to a boil and cook until potatoes are tender, approximately 20 minutes. Drain and return sweet potatoes to pot.

2: Add all other ingredients to the pot.

3: Using a potato masher or other utensil, blend together the sweet potato mixture.

4: Pour into a greased casserole dish. Bake at 350ËšF for 25 to 30 minutes. Should be browned on top.

Top with a tiny bit of butter and powdered sugar, if desired.

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Sweet, Sweet Potato 70

Always remember...

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to live your life without an off switch.

Photo: Jaquilyn and Travis Shumate

The Most Important things 56

g r e n i G

Acupuncture | Herbal Medicine | Cosmetic Acupuncture

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0S165 Church street Winfield, Il 60190 (630) 712-4997

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