El Ojo del Lago - February 2012 by El Ojo del Lago

Saw you in the Ojo

El Ojo del Lago / February 2012

Saw you in the Ojo

Richard Tingen

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Alejandro Grattan-Domínguez Tel: (01376) 765 3676, 765 2877 Fax: (01376) 765 3528 Associate Publisher David Tingen Graphic Design Roberto C. Rojas Jazmin Eliosa Special Events Editor Shelley Edson Associate Editor Jim Tipton Contributing Editor Paul Jackson Contributing Editor Mark Sconce Drama Critic Michael Warren Art Critic Rob Mohr Staff Photographer Xill Fessenden Sales Managers Omar Medina Bruce Fraser Office Secretary Iliana Oregel ADVERTISING OFFICE Av. Hidalgo # 223, Chapala Mon. thru Fri. 9am - 5pm Sat. 9am - 1pm Tel. 01 (376) 765 2877, 765 3676 Fax 01 (376) 765 3528 Send all correspondence, subscriptions or advertising to: El Ojo del Lago http://www.chapala.com ojodellago@prodigy.net.mx Ave. Hidalgo 223 (or Apartado 279), 45900 Chapala, Jalisco Tels.: (376) 765 3676, Fax 765 3528 PRINTING: El Debate El Ojo del Lago aparece los primeros cinco días de cada mes. (Out over the first five days of each month) Certificado de Licitud de Título 3693 Certificado de Licitud de Contenido 3117.

Index...

FEATURE ARTICLES

COVER STORY

Herbert Piekow writes about the personage that for centuries has been called “the Image of Mexico”—The Virgin of Guadalupe. Mexicans have loved her for more than five centuries. Octavio Paz, in winning the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1974, said, “The Mexican people have faith only in the Virgin of Guadalupe . . . and the National Lottery.”

8 Cover by Alejandro Zepeda

14 POETRY Neil McKinnon takes on an unfathomable subject and somehow makes it if not more understandable, at least more poignant.

COLUMNS THIS MONTH 6

Editor’s Page

21 MEDICAL NEWS (sort of)

Uncommon Sense

Iris Slocombe describes a medical emergency she underwent on Christmas Day of 2010. Her article should make all ex-pats feel better about the expertise and compassion of the medical community here in Mexico.

Bridge by Lake

Joyful Musings

Welcome Mexico

31 BOOK REVIEW

Child of Month

Hearts at Work

New Lease

Thunder on Right

Lakeside Living

Magnificent Mexico

The Poets’ Niche

Focus on Art

Front Row Center

Stay Healthy

107

Anita’s Animals

109

LCS Newsletter

David Bryen reviews Lethal Conspiracy, a novel written by Lakeside resident Gary Fuller, and notes that the author “has sunk his talons into the reader’s mind, and leaves us . . . coming back for more.” (Sounds masochistic to us.)

36 GEO/SOCIAL ODDITIES June Summers writes about the “Fabulous Frontier” the 1,933 mile-long border between the US and Mexico, and the unique (and humorous) blending of both countries that exists along that frontier.

38 LOCAL HISTORY Gloria Marthai writes about a massive stone wall built in the chaotic days after the Mexican Revolution that served to separate two groups on the southwest shore of Lake Chapala: the indigenous and the lighter-skinned Mestizos.

Reserva al Título de Derechos de Autor 04-2007-111412131300-102 Control 14301. Permisos otorgados por la Secretaría de Gobernación (EXP. 1/432 “88”/5651 de 2 de junio de 1993) y SEP (Reserva 171.94 control 14301) del 15 de enero de 1994. Distribución: Hidalgo 223 Chapala, Jalisco, México. All contents are fully protected by copyright and may not be reproduced without the written consent of El Ojo del Lago. Opinions expressed by the authors do not necessarily reflect the views of the Publisher or the Editor, nor are we responsible for the claims made by our advertisers. We welcome letters, which should include name, address and telephone number.

COVER STORY

PUBLISHER

El Ojo del Lago / February 2012

LAKESIDE LIVING

 D IRE C TOR Y 

48 MAGNIFICENT MEXICO

VOLUME 28 NUMBER 6

Saw you in the Ojo

Editor’s Page By Alejandro Grattan-Dominguez History’s Most Fascinating Fictional Hero

magine a character so interesting that when his creator tried to kill him off, waves of dismay came from English-language readers all over the world. This same character would give rise to exclusive clubs in dozens of major cities, organizations whose sole purpose was to keep his memory alive. The British government would even create a museum in his honor, situated at the fictional address of his home in the heart of London. Finally, envision someone so compelling that many books and thousands of articles have been written about him as if he was an actual person. If you guessed this imposing personage to be Sherlock Holmes, chances are that you’re as huge a devotee of his as I am. I became hooked on the Sherlock Holmes stories as a boy growing up in West Texas—about as far from the dark and enigmatic late 19th century backgrounds of the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle stories as it was possible to get—and I was always especially thrilled by that moment in some of his stories when Holmes would awaken Dr. Watson in the middle of the night to whisper, “Come Watson, the game is afoot.” The stories started in the late 1800s, when Conan Doyle, a newly-licensed young eye doctor, began to sketch out a story about a “consulting detective,” while he waited for patients that never came. That story, A Study in Scarlet, brought into the fictional world a detective like none other before him. Doyle’s genius was in giving the reader the same clues that were given to Sherlock Holmes—which added to our amazement when he deduced things we “saw but never perceived.” The author sold the copyright to the story (which was as long as a novelette) for a mere 25 pounds, but no matter. Conan Doyle and Sherlock Holmes were off on the ride of a lifetime. Before that ride came to an end, Doyle had become an immensely successful author (he, George Bernard Shaw and Oscar Wilde, among the most celebrated Irish writers of that entire century), and so famous for his own strong deductive powers that he was sometimes called in by Scotland Yard

El Ojo del Lago / February 2012

Sir Arth Si Sir Ar Arthur rth thur u C Conan on o nan an D Doyle oy yle le

to help with especially difficult cases. But deductive reasoning aside, there was so much more to the character of Sherlock Holmes (most always written about by his faithful companion, “Doctor Watson”) that often the prologues of the stories, presenting Holmes—the obsessive, cynical man— were as interesting as the crimes he solved. And what mysteries they were! Often set in exotic locales, with an unforgettable cast of characters and villains that made those in the James Bond stories seem like cardboard cutouts— attributes that would inexorably lead Holmes to the movies. Eventually, some 180 (!) Sherlock Holmes films were made (the best feature the British actors Basil Rathbone or Jeremy Brett). One entirely original film (written and directed by Nicholas Meyer) had Sigmund Freud help the master detective overcome his addiction to cocaine, as well as resolve some deep-seated psychological problems. Doyle, in the second half of his life, would turn his formidable intellect to the greatest mystery of all: what happens to us after we die. Never a dilettante, he became world-renowned as an expert in paranormal psychology. He would also, over the course of a long career, write critically-acclaimed novels, among them The White Company and The Refugees. Yet for me, none had that spellbinding late-night moment in the Holmes stories in which I used to imagine him whispering to me, “Come, young man, the game is afoot.” (By the way, my belated thanks to all those potential patients of Doctor Doyle’s who never came to see him.) Alejandro Grattan

If We Love Only One Person If we love only one person, that is obsession and not love. If we love only one religion, one thing is certain: we are not religious. If we love only one house we do not know what home really is. When we look deeply into the eyes of a stranger and think: â&#x20AC;&#x153;This woman also is my wife, or this man also is my husband,â&#x20AC;? then we are beginning to make some progress. And what about that old crone, and that old derelict? Yes, they also are Father and Mother. Some days all the women in the world are wearing a single skirt, and all the men fit into a single pair of shoes. On those days we no longer blame ourselves because it has taken us so long to learn to love. On those days we can say it is God, God who has made us crazy. By Jim Tipton

Saw you in the Ojo

THE IMAGE OF MEXICO By Herbert W. Piekow

o image is more revered by Mexicans than that of the Virgin of Guadalupe. She appears on shirts worn by macho men, sewn onto school bags carried by students, as an emblem of faith around the necks of both sexes. The image of the Virgin of Guadalupe is proudly carried in public parades and in religious processions. Hidalgo carried her image in battle; his banner is preserved in the National Museum in Mexico City. Felix Fernandez, one of Mexico’s first Presidents, even changed his name to Guadalupe Victoria. In 1974 the Nobel Literature laureate Octavio Paz wrote; “The Mexican people...have faith only in the Virgin of Guadalupe and the National Lottery.” The author Judy King wrote that the Virgin of Guadalupe is a “common denominator” uniting Mexicans. She says that Mexico is composed of a vast patchwork of differences, linguistic, ethnic, and class, but “The Virgin of Guadalupe is the rubber band that binds this disparate nation into a whole.” Four hundred and eighty years ago on Saturday. December 9, 1531 Juan Diego, an indigenous 57 year old peasant, had a vision of a dark skinned young woman who spoke to him in his native Nahuatl. She appeared to him in the darkness of early morning as he was on his way to Mass. His almost daily route took him across the cactus covered Tepayac hill, a little distance from Mexico City. There are two early scholarly writings concerning the four apparitions to Juan Diego and one apparition to his Uncle Juan Bernardino, one chronicle written in Spanish and the other in Nahuatl; they are basically the same and relay a similar sequence of events. In the first apparition on December 9th Juan Diego heard beautiful singing and wondered if he had died and was in the terrestrial paradise “which our elders had told us about.” Then he relates he heard a woman´s

El Ojo del Lago / February 2012

voice saying to him; “Juanito, Juan Dieguito.” He climbed the hill, to see who was calling him, he says he was not frightened, but on the contrary felt overjoyed. When he reached the summit he says he saw a Lady, who stood and motioned him to approach. He says he marveled at her superhuman grandeur. “Her garments were shinning like the sun, the cliff where she rested her feet, pierced with glitter, resembling an anklet of precious stones, and the earth sparkled like the rainbow. The mezquites, nopales and other different weeds, which grow there, appeared like emeralds, their foliage like turquoise and their branches and thorns glistened like gold.” He says he bowed before her and listened to her words. “ . . . I wish that a temple be erected here quickly, so I may therein exhibit and give all my love . . . because I am your merciful mother . . .” She instructed him to “Call me and call my image Santa Maria de Guadalupe.” It is believed that the word Guadalupe was actually a Spanish mistranslation of the local Aztec dialect. The word that was probably used was Coatallope which means “one who treads on snakes.” We have come to know her as Our Lady of Guadalupe or in Spanish Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe. The Santa Maria de Guadalupe told Juan Diego to go to the local bishop and tell him of her wishes for the temple. Naturally the bishop was dubious and asked Juan Diego to describe the events in detail. After listening to the humble man recount his experience the bishop dismissed the peasant saying; “You will return. . .” Juan Diego felt frustrated after being sent away by the bishop because he knew the bishop thought the whole affair a fantasy. Returning a second time to the hill, Juan Diego had a similar encounter with the beautiful woman. He begged her to find another messenger, “someone of greater importance because I am a nobody.” The

apparition replied: “Hark, my son of the least, you must understand that I have many servants and messengers . . .” The next day, Sunday, Juan Diego left his house, again before daybreak. After waiting for most of the day Juan Diego was once more admitted to the bishop, who asked many questions before ultimately dismissing Juan Diego by demanding that the man bring a sign from the apparition, not just words. The bishop instructed some of his men to follow the peasant however, as sometimes happens in biblical stories; Juan Diego became invisible and disappeared into the crowd. The bishop´s men told the bishop that Juan Diego was nothing but a common liar and was attempting to mock the Catholic Church. Late that afternoon Juan Diego returned to the hill, where once more he met with the apparition and informed her of the bishop´s demand for a sign. She told Juan Diego to return the next morning and she would give him a sign. However, on Monday his uncle Juan Bernardino was gravely ill and Juan Diego spent the day administering to his dying uncle. Early Tuesday, December 12th, Juan Diego left to fetch a priest for his uncle; when Juan Diego approached the hill he once more encountered the mysterious woman who said, “Do not be afflicted by the illness of your uncle, who will not die now of it. Be assured that he is now cured.” Juan Diego was instructed to climb to the top, most barren and coldest part of the hill where December frost was a nightly occurrence. When he reached the summit he was astounded to see so many varieties of exquisite rosas de Castilla blooming. They were fragrant and covered with dewdrops of the night, each drop as precious as a pearl. He gathered them all and placed them in his tilma. When he returned to the Lady from Heaven, she took each rose into her hands and replaced them back into the tilma. She instructed Juan Diego to open the cloak to only the bishop. The bishop´s angry servants refused to grant Juan Diego an audience until overcome with curiosity they gathered around the humble peon and demanded to know what he guarded in his cloak. He would not open the cloak, but pulled aside a portion so they could see the roses. Each perfect rose gave off a heavenly perfume and the bishop’s majordomo admitted Juan Diego. When he entered the bishop´s chambers Juan Diego knelt before the prelate who listened as Juan

Diego recounted the vision of the fourth apparition. The bishop demanded that Juan Diego open the cloth. The fragrant roses scattered to the floor at the bishop´s feet. Suddenly there appeared the drawing of the precious image of the ever-virgin Holy Mary, Mother of God. Today, the icon is displayed in the Basilica of Guadalupe. It is fact that most agave tilmas last no more than 15 years, yet the tilma of Juan Diego is as “soft as silk” and “the fabric and pigments used were from no known source, whether animal, mineral or vegetable,” according to biochemist Richard Kuhn, who analyzed a sample of the fabric. Dr. Philip Serna Callahan, who photographed the icon under infrared light, says there are no sketches, corrections and visible brush strokes. Ophthalmologists who have examined the face confirm that the eyes of the Virgin reflect the image of a bearded man, and in fact reflect the ten people who were present when the cloak was opened to the bishop. They say, “The eyes look strangely “alive” when examined.” There is much that is significant about the Patroness of the Americas, she is more than the symbolic mother of Mexicans, she is the symbol of Mexican identity.

Saw you in the Ojo

UUNCOMMON NNCOMMON COMMON CCOMMON OMMON SSENSE ENSE By Bill Frayer billfrayer@gmail.com Moneyball and Your Life

am a baseball fan. I love the game. I like everything about the game: its complexity, its leisurely pace; the diamond green oasis in the middle of a concrete environment; its tradition and legends; the fact that a game takes as long as it takes, without regard for an artificial clock; and even the unpredictability of the umpires who, except for home runs, cannot be overruled by the “instant replay.” Now that it’s February, we all know that pitchers and catchers will be reporting for spring training within a couple of weeks. Perhaps the most interesting characteristic about baseball is that it is, at its essence, a thinking person’s game. There is a lot of planning and minute strategy which goes into winning a game. If you saw the film Moneyball released last fall, you know what I mean. The film is about Billy Beane, the nowlegendary general Manager of the Oakland A’s, a small-market team without as much money as some of the rich teams like the Red Sox and the Yankees. It is about how Beane used Bill James’ system of sabermetrics to help the A’s win more games. Sabermetrics relies on evidence garnered from a player’s statistics to make decisions about which players to sign and use in particular positions. What made Beane’s approach so controversial is that it used statistics and logic, not intuition and hunch, which went against generations of tradition in professional baseball. It worked very well, and now many teams subscribe to sabermetric principles. My beloved Red Sox, who had failed to win a World Series since 1918,

El Ojo del Lago / February 2012

Bill Frayer y adopted Beane’s ideas and won two championships in 2004 and 2007. The principles are now being applied to making decisions in other professional sports as well. Now an interesting question: to what degree might we apply the same approach to making decisions in our own lives? In other words, in what areas where we tend to use more intuitive or anecdotal methods might we apply logical, statistical decisionmaking principles to generate better outcomes? Perhaps the most obvious is in our health care. How much accurate information do we use in deciding how to take care of our bodies? Do we base our decisions on what drugs or supplements to take, what food to eat, and what kind of exercise to get on substantial statistical evidence? When we read some claim about health, do we really know what evidence this claim is based on? How much do our doctors really know about the drugs they prescribe? There is a statistical track record for older drugs but much less for newer ones. After researching the connection between diet and disease, my wife and I decided to move to a plant-based diet. Our decision was based on what seems to be good statistical information about the benefits of a vegan diet. Of course, there is sometimes conflicting information about diet, but how many people actively research the effect of diet on health? I suspect we could make better decisions about investments by using statistics. Many people sell when the stock market tanks, in direct opposition to the statistics which make it clear it’s better to buy when prices are low and sell when they are high. Perhaps we might even use statistical and logical decision-making to decide whom to marry, a heretical thought! After all, a 50% failure rate is expensive and emotionally trying. Which marriages are most successful? Could we research this and try to select our partners accordingly? Just saying. --It is the job of poetry to clean up our word-clogged reality by creating silences around things. ~Stephen Mallarme

BRIDGE B RIDGE B BY Y THE THE LAKE LAKE By Ken Masson

ll experienced bridge players know that an important objective in bidding is for a partnership to find an 8-card major suit fit, as that is the most likely place where games can be made. However, circumstances alter cases and one must be flexible and bold enough to change strategy as conditions dictate. This monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hand was played at the Lake Chapala Duplicate Bridge Club where West dealt and opened the normal 1 diamond. North and East passed and South had his first problem: what to bid now. If he had been sitting immediately to the left of the opener he would have had a simple 1 no trump overcall but in the pass-out seat most people play that that would show a balanced hand with about 12 to 14 high card points, so he had to find another bid. South solved his dilemma by making a takeout double, West passed and North bid 1 spade causing another headache for South. With 17 HCP and 4 spades his first inclination was to raise his partner to at least 2 spades but another look at his hand showed that the king and jack of diamonds were in a very precarious position, namely sitting under the openerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 1 diamond call, so he bid 1 no trump. This bid showed 15 to 17 HCP but it also tended to deny four spades. Fortunately for this partnership, North was on the same page as South and now showed her 4 card heart suit. South showed his preference among the majors by bidding 2 spades and now North bid 2 no trump showing about 9 or 10 points and a balanced

hand. That was all that South needed to bid the no trump game. West had a difficult choice to make for his opening lead. The bidding strongly suggested that his partner would be bereft of values but he decided to hope that East would have something in diamonds so he placed the 5 of that suit on the table. Alas, on this lie of the cards, there was no way for the defenders to break this contract and all the lead did was to present declarer with an overtrick. North-South, however, were always coming to at least 9 tricks regardless of how their opponents defended: 3 spades, 2 hearts and 4 clubs were there for the taking as long as declarer was careful to lead the first low spade towards the dummy. Note that if the spade jack is played first it will create a second winner in that suit for East. The best news of all for NorthSouth was that at almost every other table the contract was 4 spades by North, quickly going down on the diamond lead from East. West won the first trick with the queen, cashed the ace, gave his partner a ruff and later won another trick with the spade ace. So, a little ingenuity and attention to the bidding paid huge dividends for this partnership. May I suggest you discuss it with your favourite partner and see if you would have been on the same wavelength? Questions or comments: email: masson.ken@ gmail.com Ken Masson

Saw you in the Ojo 11

MONEY By A “Friend”

It can buy you a House, but not a Home. It can buy you a Bed, but not Sleep. It can buy you a Clock, but not Time. It can buy you a Book, but not Knowledge. It can buy you a Position, but not Respect. It can buy you Medicine, but not Health. It can buy you Blood, but not Life. It can buy you Sex, but not Love. So you see, money isn’t everything. The best things in life can’t be bought, and often we destroy ourselves trying! I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your needless pain and suffering. So send me all your money and I will suffer for you. (Cash only, please!)

El Ojo del Lago / February 2012

Joyful Musings By Joy Birnbach Dunstan, MA, LPC, MAC Good Sex is Good for You!

t’s February, almost Valentine’s Day. A day for lover’s and perhaps a little passion. Indulge that passion because scientific evidence supports what many of us have suspected all along: good sex not only adds great enjoyment to our lives, but it also actually improves our health and general well-being. In his book Sexual Healing, Dr. Paul Pearsall, Director of Behavioral Medicine at Detroit’s Beaumont Hospital, writes that the joys and pleasures of intimate loving may provide us with something called an “intimacy inoculation” that actually protects us from disease. When we experience mutually caring sexual intimacy, it can trigger a measurable change in neurochemicals and hormones that pour through the body and help promote health and healing. Here’s just a few of the many benefits researchers have identified for an active sex life: Sex relieves stress. Regular sex results in lower blood pressure and overall stress reduction. (Don’t worry if you don’t have a sexual partner: other research shows that even hugs are helpful in lowering blood pressure.) Sex boosts immunity. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A (IgA), which protects you from getting colds and other infections. Sex burns calories. Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not sound like much, but it adds up: a half-hour of sex two to three times a week could easily help you drop two to four pounds a year. Sex improves heart health. While some older folks may worry that the efforts expended during sex could cause a stroke, that’s not so. In one study, researchers found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month. Sex boosts self-esteem. Gina Ogden, PhD, sex therapist and marriage and family counselor in Cambridge, Mass., says that “great sex begins with self-esteem and it raises it. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it.”

Sex improves intimacy. Research shows that having sex and orgasms increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, which helps us bond and build trust. Higher oxytocin has also been linked with a feeling of generosity. So if you’re feeling suddenly more generous toward your partner than usual, credit the love hormone. Sex reduces pain. As the hormone oxytocin surges, endorphins (our body’s natural pain-killer) increase, and pain declines. If your headache or arthritis pain seem to improve after sex, you can thank those higher oxytocin and endorphin levels. Sex reduces prostate cancer risk. One study found that frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may reduce the risk of prostate cancer by a third. Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, found that 21 or more ejaculations a month were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men as well, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four to seven monthly. Sex strengthens pelvic floor muscles. For women, doing a few pelvic floor muscle exercises known as Kegels during sex offers a couple of benefits. You will enjoy more pleasure, and you’ll also strengthen the area and help to minimize the risk of incontinence later in life. (To do a basic Kegel exercise, tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor, as if you’re trying to stop the flow of urine. Count to three, then release.) Sex helps you sleep better. The oxytocin released during orgasm also promotes sleep, according to research. And getting enough sleep has been linked with a host of other good things, such as maintaining a healthy weight and blood pressure. So next time your partner is in the mood, don’t say “not now, I’ve got a headache.” Instead, next time you’ve got a headache, cozy up to your partner. Happy Valentine’s Day! Editor’s Note: Joy is a practicing psychotherapist in Riberas. She can be contacted at joy@dunstan.org or 7654988. Check out her new website: http:// joydunstan.weebly.com .

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Eternity By Neil McKinnon neilmcki@yahoo.ca Away in the north there is a rock. It is a thousand miles wide and a thousand miles long. It stands a thousand miles tall. Once every thousand years a small bird comes to sharpen its beak. When the rock has thus been worn away, one day of eternity has passed. Far to the south there is a lake. It is a thousand miles wide and a thousand miles long. Its depth is a thousand fathoms. Once every thousand years a small bird comes to drink. When the lake has thus been emptied, one day of eternity has passed. Away in the west there is a desert. It is a thousand miles wide and a thousand miles long. Its sands a thousand miles deep. Once every thousand years a small bird brings a seed. When the desert is thus a garden, one day of eternity has passed. Far to the east there is a forest. It is a thousand miles wide and a thousand miles long. Each acre bears a thousand trees. Once every thousand years a small bird comes to nest. When each tree has thus been shelter, one day of eternity has passed. Nearby a small bird gasps, its song grows faint. When it has thus been silenced, all of eternity has passed. (Inspired by a phrase in The Story of Mankind by Hendrik van Loon who used the analogy of a bird wearing a rock away, by sharpening its beak, to describe the passage of a long period of time.)

El Ojo del Lago / February 2012

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By Victoria Schmidt Confessions of a Former Cook

confess. My maid has to dust my stove. Since moving to Mexico, I’ve acquired a complete aversion to cooking. It isn’t that I‘m unable to cook, or that I don’t know how to cook. I simply hate to do it. I think it started while I was growing up and my Mom was working full time. She always wanted dinner on the table when she got home, which became my job. Mom was from the generation that everything cooked came out of a can or a box. We rarely had anything “fresh.” Vegetables were cooked until limp. While in college and nervous about meeting my fiancée’s parents, I tried to make a good impression by volunteering to help in the kitchen. My future Mother-in-law told me I could mash the potatoes. I searched the entire kitchen searching every cupboard and in the pantry. I couldn’t find them. I finally had to break down and ask where they were. “They’re in the sink” she responded. Of course I had already looked in the sink, but there was no box there…only potatoes. Until then I didn’t know that mashed potatoes came from, well, mashing actual potatoes. I’d made mashed potatoes all my life-- they came from a box. Flaked! She laughed knowing she had her work cut out for her. They lived on what some people called a “hobby farm.” But it was no hobby; it was a lot of work. They had limited means, and had to make the most out of everything. They raised their own chickens, and each year, they put in a huge vegetable garden. She baked everything from scratch. Nothing was ever wasted. When a turkey was cooked, the carcass became soup stock. Scraps of food fed the dog and whatever else was left over became compost for fertilizing the garden. The center of that home was the kitchen. I learned a lot.

El Ojo del Lago / February 2012

That education came in handy when I moved to my sister’s farm to help out during her third pregnancy, I spent entire days in the kitchen. A farmer’s day starts early with a snack before the morning chores. While they were out, I was busy inside the kitchen making their breakfast--platters of eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, biscuits, pancakes or waffles, potatoes, juice, and coffee. Their mid-morning snacks were packed while they had breakfast. Once they left for the fields, the day’s baking began as well as the preparation for lunch which on the farm was a full meal of meat, vegetables, bread, fruit, salads and dessert. And again, their afternoon snack was packed for later in the afternoon while they worked in the field. Supper, of course, was another full meal. I learned to hate the kitchen. Over the years, I fell back into using convenience foods, canned, pre-prepared and quick and easy. But the food wasn’t healthy. It was packed with preservatives and other mystery ingredients. Moving to Mexico cured me of my convenience food reliance, as many of the items just weren’t available here. And everywhere I look, there are wonderful freshly grown, fully ripened fruits and vegetables. There are plenty of people who sell fresh foods in my neighborhood. My shopping can be done by walking around my block, and getting all the fresh food I need, and buying from the many neighborhood cooks who put out roasted chicken and potatoes, or tacos, tamales or other delights. So, unless you are an aficionado of the food network and get true joy from cooking, do what I do, just walk about your neighborhood and let your stove accumulate dust. Victoria Schmidt

Leon Kreitman IN MEMORIAM —1932-2011— Leon Kreitman departed this world on Wednesday, October 17, 2011 in Tonson, MD. He was born in Louisville, KY and lived there until he finished high school. He spent three years in Japan during the Korean War before continuing his education at Indiana University, earning a Masters’ Degree in psychology. After several different positions, he became a school psychologist for the Montgomery County Schools in Maryland where he served for 25 years. He retired in 1992 and for the following 19 years he toured the world with Elderhostels and in between trips, he volunteered in countless organizations such as libraries, schools, museums, and wherever he was needed. He was an avid reader and couldn’t start his day without knowing what was going on in the world yet he loved to be with people wherever he went and made friends easily by telling funny stories. He wrote short stories

and discovered a love of painting portraits and was very good in both pursuits. Leon fell in love with Ajijic and was a snowbird for two years. He became a full time home owner in 2011 saying he planned to spend the rest of his life here and he did. Leon is survived by his ex-wife of 33 years, Marilyn Kreitman of Sarasota, FL; his two sons, Mark (Michelle) and his grandchildren Jeremy and Elizabeth; Dan (Sue) and his grandchildren James and Jillian of Tonson, MD, and Carol Mardell of Ajijic, “the love of his life” and he of hers. Submitted by Carol Mardell

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CHILD

of the month

By Rich Petersen Daniel Eloy Juárez Gutiérrez

his cherubic face belongs to Daniel Juárez Gutiérrez, known as “Dani” at home. Dani is 10-1/2 years old and lives in Ixtlahuacán with his parents and an older brother. Dad’s name is Omar and is a jewelry designer and also repairs jewelry; Mom, Hilda, is a housewife. When Dani was just one year old his parents noticed he was having trouble walking and that he fell down a lot, but at that age many children have those problems. However, by age two, Dani was still not walking well, so his parents took him to an IMSS doctor. At that time in her life, Mom was working and had health insurance for the family. Unfortunately, IMSS at that time (8 years ago) was unable to come up with a diagnosis and said that Dani would “probably outgrow the problem.” The family continued with appointments every six months, but after another year had gone by and Dani was no better, they went to another hospital where electrical stimulation tests were performed and the diagnosis was immediate—and not good. Dani was born with a type of muscular dystrophy known as “Duchenne syndrome,” caused by a defective gene for dystrophin, a protein in the muscles. This type of muscular dystrophy is characterized by its rapid progress throughout the body. There is no known cure to date for this; only physical therapy and anti-inflammatory medications are of use in helping the patient continue to have good muscle function. More males than females have this type of M.D., and many times there is no antecedent family history (as in Dani’s case). His parents know of no one in their respective families who has had this type of problem. With the love and care and help of his family, Dani is doing pretty well at this stage. He is good in school (loves arithmetic, especially division) and loves to draw and color cars and tanks; he even tries to design his own models on paper. He is social and has a sharp mind, and is very nice to be around. Kudos also to our friends at Shriners International who loan us at Niños Inca-

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pacitados wheelchairs for our patients who need them. You might be able to see in the photo that Dani is in a Shriners wheelchair. Up until a few months ago, he was able to walk a bit on his own, but due to the rapid progression of this type of M.D., he is now confined to a wheelchair. Dani goes to therapy 2-3 times a week at Teletón, a Mexican-run facility in most large cities for physical and other types of rehab. The doctors at Teletón have strongly recommended that Dani have a motorized wheelchair so he can be more independent and get around on his own. At the moment he can manage his regular chair, but, again, this disease will quickly take away the strength he now has in his arms. We at Niños Incapacitados are wondering if anyone here at Lakeside knows of a motorized chair that is no longer in use and could be donated to Dani. The cost of a new chair of this type is around $2,700 U.S. The folks at Teletón have committed to paying one-half of the cost and we at Niños Incapacitados can help with some of the remainder, but not all. Should you or someone you know be of help to this great little boy, please contact me at richpete@laguna.com.mx If you would like to meet other children being helped by Niños Incapacitados, please attend our regular monthly meetings on the second Thursday of each month in one of the meeting rooms at the Hotel Real de Chapala in La Floresta. Coffee and cookies at 10:00, meeting at 10:30. Bring a friend. You will learn how you can volunteer in many different ways and how your monetary support helps so much to assist needy families whose children suffer from a chronic and/or debilitating illness or condition.

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America: 18th and Falling Fast By Michael McGrath raath

ccording to to IQ research rch rc rom m taken from a book by professors esssors e so ors Richard Lynn and d Tatu Tat atu u Vanhanen entitled IQ Q And And The Wealth of Nations, there is a clear indication that the average IQ in the United States is 98. This puts the U.S. 18th in the list behind other nations in average intellectual levels. I was watching Bill Maher’s show the other day. It provided me with an excellent example of what American politicians do with each other that results in the populace being screwed by the collective ignorance of both sides

of the political machine. Two combatants were b Ed d Schultz, a very ve ryy lo loud and outspoken liberal philistine and part-time MSNBC “broadcast journalist” and Michael Steel, a very loud and outspoken conservative philistine and former head of the Republican National Committee. The subject of debate was the proposal made by Republican congressperson, Paul Ryan, that healthcare spending be reduced by eliminating the Medicare and Medicaid programs and replacing them with a $15,000 dollar voucher given to

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Medicare / Medicaid users. Bill Maher kicked off the debate by saying that fifteen thousand dollars would pay for about two months worth of nursing home care for an ailing senior. He followed with the question, “What becomes of the ailing senior when their fifteen thousand dollars runs out?” Michael Steele was stumbling around trying not to say that he didn’t know when Ed Schultz interrupted loudly saying that Ryan’s plan was a voucher system and voucher systems don’t work. Michael Steele rebutted Schultz’s assertion by saying, “How do you know they don’t work?” Both Maher and Schultz took the bait and began pointing to various times and circumstances when voucher systems were tried and failed. Of course Michael Steele countered with times and circumstances when voucher systems were tried and succeeded. Each of the examples given by both sides of the argument was presented until someone out-shouted the other with another example of a voucher program that did or did not work. The argument continued until the show ran out of time. And that is how it goes in our political system. Very few, if any, have the understanding, the awareness, the savvy, or the knowledge required to recognize and handle a logical fallacy. In this case the logical fallacy was a Red Herring, a fallacy in which an irrelevant topic is introduced in order to divert attention from the original issue. The basic idea is to “win” an argument by leading attention away from the argument and to another topic. The original issue was Bill Maher’s question as to what happens when the $15,000 runs out. Ed Schultz introduced the Red Herring by saying that voucher programs do not work. Michael Steele took full advantage of the situation by challenging Schultz and Maher to prove that voucher progams do not work. Steele’s tactic was the employment of yet another logi-

cal fallacy, argument from ignorance, which asserts that a proposition is true because it has not been proven false (or vice versa). Far too often, this is what passes for political debate not only in our media, but also in our government. Anyone can prove this for themselves by simply watching and listening, provided they are familiar with logic and logical fallacy. But the problem is that with an average IQ of 98, the vast majority of Americans are simply not smart enough to know when they are being handed a load of illogical crap. For example, according to a recent poll done by Kos/Research2000, 58 percent of Republicans currently think Barack Obama was not born in the U.S. Is it any wonder that Donald Trump jumped on the “Birther” bandwagon? Whatever else you may think of The Donald, most probably would agree that he knows a good bet when he sees one. Trump Casino in Atlantic City is no accident. The bottom line to all of this is that Americans are falling behind. Something has gone terribly wrong with our education system; we seem to be producing dumber, not smarter people. The masses are turning out to be bungling idiots, content with their menial job, their nightly ration of beer and Saturday afternoon football. They will raise the flag and go to war when the leaders tell them to, and they won’t question the order. And when someone “in authority” tells them that Obama doesn’t have an American birth certificate, or that America is running out of money to pay Medicare and Social Security, or that we have to lower taxes for the rich in order to stimulate job growth, they believe it. Because they don’t have the basic intellectual ability they need to find out the facts. It is not simply a crisis in American education; it is a crisis in American intellect. The big business interests have people right where they want them. By systematically helping to undermin the American education system (while claiming to support it), they have turned vast numbers of Americans into mental incompetents, content to work for minimum wages with no benefits so that the rich can get richer. The only tool we have to combat America’s falling IQ, and consequent gullibility, is education. And you will notice that education is what is being attacked - in Wisconsin, in Iowa, in Michigan, in Minnesota, in Ohio and in other states to come. If they can neutralize the ability of teachers to teach, they can neutralize the ability of people to think. It’s working. Who says there is no Big Brother?

NOWHERE N OWHERE BUT BUT IIN NM MEXICO EXIC CO By Iris Slocombe

hristmas 2010 was about as unusual for me as can be imagined. I was writing a few last minute e-Mails before getting ready for the “carol sing” at church. I managed to get tangled in the castors on my husband Bert’s desk chair, and in a bad error of judgment clutched at that chair to try to stop myself falling. Of course it did not do anything but roll away, and dump me on the tile floor with a very painful left hip, as in, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” Bert called our primary care doctor. And after several calls to his cell-phone we discovered he was already more than 100 kilometers away from Guadalajara on his way to a family Christmas gathering. He listened sympathetically, and said, “Don’t worry Mr. Slocombe, I’m coming back right now and will take care of everything for her. “Call the Red Cross and go to Chapala so they can take preliminary films. I want her admitted to the Hospital Versalles on Alcade, under the care of Dr. X,” and he named Doctor X (who would also have to give up his own plans for Christmas Eve with his family.) “I will arrange for the hospital ambulance to meet you in Chapala and take you there.” All went as smoothly as “I can’t believe it’s not butter!” What utter kindness! Where but in Mexico? The X-Ray showed I had broken the neck of my left femur and would need surgery, equivalent to a hip prosthesis. There went our Christmas. I had to wait a long time for surgery

to be scheduled, because my blood clotting time was at a dangerous level thanks to all the blood thinner medications I have taken since my open heart surgery in 2004. All the hospital staff was kind and efficient. My room was large and as well-furnished as a private room in most U.S. hospitals. The food? Best not discussed. Just before we left the hospital our land-lady called to tell Bert he would not have to worry about what we would have for dinner, she had made chicken soup for us. Once we were home, she came to visit me with a bowl of hot soup! Delicious! And she sat down by my bed and spoon-fed me. I truly believe that nowhere but in Mexico would I have encountered such consistent kindness and care for my welfare. For a doctor to abandon his own holiday plans in order to take care of my problems, not in the States I don’t think nor anywhere else we have lived. To save my having to travel to have the sutures removed, he will come to the house and take care of me himself. So all I have to do now is learn to use my still painful Left leg, and get myself going again.

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MYY MOST M MOST EMBARRASSING EM MBARRASSING MOMENT MOMENT By Sally Myers

hung up the phone, ran down the steps, and stomped into the kitchen to find my mother. Putting my hands on my hips, I asked, “How come you never told me there was such a thing as circumcision?” She paused, took a long drag on her Benson and Hedges 100, and said, “And just why in the hell would I tell my 15-year-old daughter about circumcision?” Shaking my head to show the unfairness of it all, I returned to my room and slammed the door. Not having brothers and attending an all girls’ high school in the 60s was a combination for hilarious naivety. My best friend, Cathy, was of the Jewish faith. For weeks, she had told me about her brother’s best friend, Barry Benjamin. She had told him about me too, and had arranged a blind date. The plan was to attend a mutual friend’s birthday party. I assured my Mother the party would be properly chaperoned. After much discussion with Cathy, it was decided I would wear my light green Villager skirt with matching sweater and knee socks, a flowered blouse with a Peter Pan collar and penny loafers. Everything was going fine. Barry was very polite, the conversation was easy, and we were having a good time. Then he mentioned that he had a new nephew and that tomorrow would be his nephew’s bris. I asked, “What is a bris?” He said, “In the Jewish faith, that is

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when the little boys are circumcised and given their name.” I liked this fellow and thought this was a good opportunity to learn more about his faith. You never know, I might convert someday if things went well with Barry. Assuming circumcise was something similar to baptize, I asked, “What is circumcise?” Suddenly he turned red, looked away and said, “Better ask Cathy.” The evening had suddenly taken a turn for the worse. He went to get another coke and never came back to talk to me. I was perplexed. Had I someway offended him? Why was he embarrassed? Cathy called early the next morning. I told her things had started off just fine until we started talking about his new nephew and something called a circumcision. There was silence on the other end of the phone. I asked, “What is that, anyway?” She answered, “That’s a Jewish ceremony when the extra skin is removed from the baby’s penis and the baby is given his name.” “What are you talking about,” I replied, “Extra skin on a baby’s penis?” She then explained, with the authority of someone with brothers, that all boys had extra skin on their penis and that even some gentile babies were having it removed. Close to tears, I said, “I had no idea it had to do with the penis, I thought it was something like baptize.” Cathy said, “Well that practice seems odd to me, don’t they put the baby under water or something?” I said some churches do, but ours didn’t do it that way. We talked about different customs in our religions. She tried to make me feel better about my blunder. She said, “How could you have known?” She was a good friend. I never heard from Barry again. I wonder if he still laughs about the naïve gentile girl he took to the party. Cathy later told me that Barry was not even allowed to date gentile girls, and he had told his parents my name was Sally Stein! A few years later I learned that our high school only admitted a certain quota of Jewish students. That was the Sixties!

AMONGST A LIFET TIME OF ACHIEVEMENTS By Tod Jonson Chairman, Lakeside Community ity it ty Awards Committee

hough our 2012 Community Awards ceremony has been temporarily postponed, we thought it important to inform those who might wonder how our Awards Committee sometimes makes its decisions that the following were some of the facts we reviewed before deciding on Alejandro Grattan-Dominguez as our recipient of 2012 Lifetime Achievement Award. • In1979, Grattan wrote, co-produced and directed one of the first major movies to deal with the Mexican-American experience. Only Once in a Lifetime was invited to premiere at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. In the audience were several ambassadors to the US from Latin American countries, including Mexico. Later, the First Family of Mexico requested a private screening. • Eventually, the film was selected as one of the very few movies to represent the USA at the 1979 Deauville Film Festival in France, and was also named Film of the Year by two US Hispanic magazines, SOMOS and NUESTRO. • Over a 27-year career in the American movie industry, Grattan directed and/or produced five feature films, and wrote 23 screenplays, nine of which were either sold or held under option, some on repeated occasions. • In 1980, Grattan was given a Special Commendation by the National Association of MexicanAmerican Educators for his help in raising tens of thousands of dollars to fund Bi-Lingual Educational Programs in California. • In 1987, Grattan directed the Lakeside Little Theater production of Arsenic and Old Lace, which went on to hold the attendance record for some ten years before being broken by the LLT’s production of Nunsense. • In 1988, he founded the Ajijic Writers’ Group—the longestlasting ex-pat writers’ group in Mexico, if not in the world. (In 2011, Grattan won the Lakeside

Community Award “Pioneer of the Year” for this achievement.) • In 1995, Grattan had a booksigning event for his first novel, The Dark Side of the Dream, and donated all the proceeds, almost $800 US, to Programa Ninos Incapacitados. (In 2001, he was given a Special Commendation by this group for his help in promoting and publicizing its humanitarian activities.) • In 1999, his script, Breaking Even, won the Jury Award at the Ajijic Film Festival. In 2000, his script, The Stuff of Dreams, in competition with works from several countries, won the “Best Screenplay” award at the Ajijic Film Festival. In 2004, The Stuff of Dreams was judged one of the top three screenplays (among 36 scripts) at the Puerto Vallarta Film Festival. • In 2007, he was selected for inclusion in the Marquis Edition of Who’s Who in Mexico. • In 2011, in three world-wide script contests sponsored by amazon.com, his screenplay, The Stuff of Dreams, finished in the Top Two Percent of the more than 2500 entries in each contest. Mexico’s pre-Columbian history serves as the backdrop for the script. • Editor-in-Chief of El Ojo del Lago for past 17 years. First MexicanAmerican to hold the post, and as such has served as a Goodwill Ambassador to both the Mexican and Ex-pat communities. He has written many editorials to help create more understanding and rapport between the two groups. • Author of seven novels, two of which have Mexican-American motifs, and today are in over 1200 libraries in the US and Canada. Congratulations, Sr. Grattan, from the Awards’ Committee!

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REPORT FROM THE FUTURE By J. C. Kottler

ia a worm hole in the universe, I have a report from the future. Believe it or not, Rick Perry is going to be our next President. This may seem hard to believe, especially after his recent, disastrous, debate performance, but stranger things have happened. Here is a scholarly review of what happened, from the perspective of January, 2021. “Now that President Perry has left office, it is time to review the miracle events which led him to win the Presidency. First, Romney was driven out of the race after it was proved that he was not a Mormon, but actually a Hindu. The secret came out when TV cameras caught him privately chanting, “Hari Krishna, Hari Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hari Hari...” Romney retired from politics and became the voice of the Meditation Channel on cable TV. Newt Gingrich now became the front runner. His campaign fell apart when it was discovered that Gingrich had an I. Q. of 132, genius category. Rank and file Republicans just could no longer trust a genius as their front runner. He left the scene in disgrace, and, strangely enough, all records of his campaign mysteriously disappeared. Now it was Michelle Bachman’s turn. She led Perry by an insurmountable lead, particularly after she defeated him in their famous Iowa debate. Experts still wonder how The Congresswoman, not known for her debating skills, was able to outdebate Perry when she had laryngitis and couldn’t speak. Perry probably lost the debate when he couldn’t answer a question about his wife’s first name. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but he spent 15 minutes stumbling on and on about the subject, asking for hints from the audience. The next day Perry partially recovered by blaming the media for their “Gotcha” question. Bachman’s campaign faltered when it was discovered that she had divorced her husband and secretly re-married, this time to entertainer Ellen DeGeneres. This left Governor Perry as the last man or woman, standing, and he easily defeated President Obama.

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Now, Democrats and Republicans, alike, regard him as the greatest President in U. S. history. After all, didn’t he launch the “Golden Age of American Prosperity?” He also appointed our country’s greatest ever Attorney General, former Fox News Host, Glenn Beck, who immediately deported every Mexican-looking person in the country. Of course, we also celebrate our complete victory over Islamic Terrorism and Al Queda. The key step here was appointing columnist Ann Coulter as Secretary of State. She used a common sense approach to the Arab world, which she had first proposed on September 14, 2001, “We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.” When we actually did invade the entire Arab world, liberals predicted disaster. The Arab Street, however, applauded the invasion. They threw flowers at our troops in triumphant parades through Cairo, Tehran, and Dasmascus. Soon the entire Arab world was fundamentalist Christian, and Perry and Coulter won the first of their three Nobel Peace Prizes. Here, today, in South Dakota, President Perry is finally getting the respect he deserves. Spadework has begun to erase the faces of Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln on Mount Rushmore to be replaced by Rick Perry, Glenn Beck, and Ann Coulter. Upon being informed of the honor, former President Perry famously stated, “This is one of the three great honors of my life: becoming the President, winning the Nobel Peace Prize, and now my face on Mount ..., What’s the third one there? My face on Mount... Dang it, it’s on the tip of my tongue. My face on Mount... Oops.”

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Hearts at Work A Column by James Tipton p

“Making Love with Form or Spirit”

t the beginning of January, I published a new col-or lection of poems—To Love for a Thousand Years—that was at ems least in part inspired by the poems .1320of the Sufi master, Hafiz (c.13201389), Persia’s most beloved poet. In recent decades, Daniell LLadinsky has published popular versions of some of the poems of Hafiz (based upon the translations of H. Wilberforce Clark). Ladinsky writes that “With a wonderful—at times outrageous—genius Hafiz brings us nearer to God.” Ralph Waldo Emerson in the 19th century discovered Goethe’s translations of Hafiz into German and then translated those into English. In his journal Emerson wrote of Hafiz: “He fears nothing. He sees too far; he sees throughout; such is the only man I wish to see and be.” Ladinsky, in the Preface to The Gift, a wonderful collection of his own versions of poems by Hafiz, assures us that “Hafiz is one of the greatest spiritual friends, lovers, and guides that humankind has ever known. For centuries he has been called The Tongue of the Invisible, for he continues to sing beautiful and wild love songs from God. He invites us to join him in his fantastic applause of life.” Henry S. Mindlin, in his introduction to that same book, concludes that “Hafiz shares his intoxification with the magic and beauty of divine life that pulsates everywhere around us and within us. He urges us to rise on the wings of love. He challenges us to confront and master the strongest forces of our own nature. He encourages us to celebrate even the most ordinary experiences of life as precious divine gifts. He invites us to ‘awake awhile’ and listen to the delightful music of God’s laughter.” What is this precious love and laughter Budding in our hearts? It is the glorious sound Of a soul waking up!

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Here are a couple of my favorites from The Gift. Read them slowly, two or three times, preferably out loud. Here is “If God”: If God Invited you to a party And said, “Everyone In the ballroom tonight Will be my special Guest,” How would you then treat them When you Arrived? Indeed, indeed! And Hafiz knows There is no one in this world Who Is not upon His jeweled Dance Floor. Hafiz begins “Where Does Real Poetry” with these lines: Where does real poetry Come from? From the amorous sighs In this moist dark when making love With form or Spirit. In still another poem Hafiz announces that he has learned so much from God that he can no longer call himself a Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Buddhist, or a Jew. In a poem titled “The Great Religions,” he tells us: The Great religions Are the ships. Poets the Life boats. Every Sane person I know Has jumped Overboard. Jim Tipton

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MEXICO’S DYNAMIC ECONOMY By Robert Kleffel (Courtesy of Carol Wheeler, mexico@mexconnect.com)

t is often said that when the US gets a cold, Mexico gets pneumonia. This time it didn’t happen. Let’s look at the data from Mexico’s dynamic economy. During this last recession, in the US millions of homes are in foreclosure, 250 banks failed, bailouts cost trillions of dollars, the deficit rose to 1.4 trillion dollars and unemployment remains above 9%. In Mexico, however, there were minimal housing foreclosures, no banks failed, there were no bailouts to industry or banks, the deficit is a modest 3.4 billion dollars and unemployment has now dropped to about 7%. Mexico is rapidly pulling out of the recession and the economy has an expected growth rate of 3% to 4%, while the US is hoping for 1.5% growth rate. The Growing Mexican Economy Electronics The electronics industry of Mexico has grown enormously within the last decade. In 2007 Mexico surpassed South Korea and China as the largest manufacturer of televisions and now dominates the world in the production of TV sets. In 2008 Mexico surpassed South Korea and Taiwan to become the second largest producer of smartphones in the world with companies such as Sony Ericsson, Motorola, Samsung, LG, Nokia, Sharp

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and Blackberry. Mexico is the third largest manufacturer of computers in the world with both domestic companies and foreign companies such as Dell, Sony, HP, Acer, Compaq, Samsung and Lenovo. Automobiles Mexico differs from other Latin American countries and developing nations in that it does not function as a mere assembly manufacturer. The industry produces technologically complex components and engages in some research and development activities; an example of that is the new Volkswagen Jetta model with up to 70% of parts designed in Mexico. Most of the world’s auto manufacturers already have plants in Mexico but expansion is now under way with Toyota opening two new plants in Mexicali and Guanajuato. Honda is investing $800 million USD in Queretaro as well an equal amount by Mazda. Honda is also opening a new plant in Jalisco. Fiat’s new plant in Toluca has orders for 50,000 cars destined for China. So far Mexico’s auto production has increased by 14% this year. Aerospace We usually don’t think of Mexico as an aerospace giant. However, Mexico is a major producer of subassemblies for Boeing, Airbus and Bombardier. Bombardier (Leer Jet) is the third largest airplane manufacturer in the

world and will be building complete airplanes in Queretaro in a few years. Agriculture If the US is the bread basket of the world, Mexico is the world leader in produce. Mexico is the world’s largest exporter of avocados, papayas, mangos, chiles, raspberries, blackberries, melons, watermelons, limes, organic coffee and peppers. Mexico is the world’s second largest exporter of tomatoes, zucchini and guavas, and the world’s third largest exporter of cauliflower, onions, cucumbers, garbanzos and orange juice. Huge Mexican Corporations Cemex is the world’s largest construction company and the third largest producer of cement in the world with operations in 56 countries. Cemex is the largest cement company in the US, so large that the US government required them to sell 42 cement plants. Bimbo, the company with the amusing name, is the largest baking company in the world and the largest baking company in the US. America Movil is a Fortune 500 company and dominates the Latin American market with 215,000,000 subscribers. What Happened? Globalization is what happened. Free trade between states was built into the constitution of the US. Now free trade is spreading to all countries through free trade agreements. The bad news is that First World countries have to compete with emerging market economies, especially in labor. Jobs are moving to the country that will produce quality products the most cheaply. The good news is that products cost less. There is no stopping globalization; any country that attempts to back out will become tomorrow’s Eastern Europe. Although the prognosis for Third World countries is bleak at best, over time, emerging market countries like Mexico and First World countries will become more equal and everybody wins.

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A NEW LEASE LEASE— —on Life! By Judit Rajhathy, B.A., RNCP, D.Ac.

So You Think You Can Dance?

f course you can! The late Martha Graham claimed that dance is the hidden language of the soul. Everyone can dance - so can you! I will never forget my firstt d dance lesson in Ajijic at the ripe age of 58. A beautiful young maestro walked into the gym, took my hand and said, “Don’t look at your feet, just listen to the music, look into my eyes and move with me.” It was in that moment that my life changed and dance became an integral part of my life. I have never looked back. Dance is about your life - it is about expression, about letting go. It is about getting in touch with your sensuality, your life force. Dance reflects where you are in your life. Dancing Rejuvenates the Spirit If you want a shortcut to happiness, dance! You could be feeling a bit under the weather, a bit depressed and all of a sudden you hear a favorite tune on the radio, your toe starts tapping, you start whistling and remember jitterbugging and jiving and all of a sudden you are smiling. Take it one step further and start moving your body, dance around the living room! Benefits of Dance Dance improves brain function, encourages better concentration, helps you to think faster, improves reaction time, sharpens memory, reduces stress, assists in flexibility, increases bone density and improves hand-eye coordination. Dance builds stamina which in turn helps the circulatory system. And if you really tear up the floor, your sweat releases toxins from the body. What a great way to burn calories! And you just never know whom you might meet on the dance floor! Which Dance Is Popular In Your Area? Country line dancing seems to

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be quite popular in the area. However, learning new dance forms to different rhythms offers variety and a great way to immerse into another culture. It only makes sense to learn the Latin dance form that is danced in Lakeside. There has been a lot of confusion between Salsa and Cumbia. Most foreigners equate all Latin dance with Salsa. The reality is that Cumbia is the most common dance form in Mexico and Salsa is only danced in a few places in Guadalajara, primarily in clubs that cater to the young. Salsa tends to be a young person’s dance because when danced well, it is very strenuous, involving very quick movements and spins. Cumbia music has a very definite rhythm and one can look like a pro on the dance floor using one basic step, without having to tax the body too much. Then there is always steamy, sensual, slow Son and the more elegant, precise Danzon which is to Mexico what the waltz is to Vienna. But again, you would have to travel an hour to be able to dance these dances and why bother when you can have your fill of Cumbia right here in the village. So hope to see you on that dance floor! Judit Rajhathy, B.A., RNCP D. Ac. (and Queen of Cumbia), is the author of the best-selling Canadian book Free to Fly: a journey toward wellness and can be reached at www. j u d i t r a j h a t h y. com and 7654551. Judit Rajhathy

LETHAL CONSPIRACY By Gary Fuller Reviewed by David Bryen

’ told my wife, not as kindly as I wanted to: “Don’t distract me. I’ll eat dinner as soon as I finish the book.” When I got to the end of Lethal Conspiracy, I jumped out of my chair as if I’d been stung by a scorpion and whooped out loud: “Yeow, what an ending!” I wiped my sweaty palms dry, took a deep breath and sat down to a very cold dinner. I liked the book. A lot. The armed, cloaked terrorist on the cover suggests the extreme danger lurking in the pages of Gary Fuller’s Lethal Conspiracy. A spy thriller is supposed to grab us by the throat, throw us against the wall like wet spaghetti, assault our sensibilities and make us submit to the twists of the author’s imagination. In Gary Fuller’s first novel, he com-

bines his intimate knowledge and inner workings of military intelligence, his career as an Air Force officer, and expert knowledge of the Middle East to present us with a plausible plot that not only thrills, but brings information to the reader. I was drawn in by the authenticity of Fuller’s knowledge. It seemed to me as if he was writing from the inside out when it came to the complexity of the political climate and hidden loyalties of the powers at work there. Like a weaver, carefully prepar-

ing the warp and woof of a tapestry, Fuller unwraps his villainous and virtuous characters, and with each new personality adds texture to the story and builds intrigue. The book coils itself around us, tightening its grip in such a way that we begin to experience the world through the life of reluctant hero Dr. Steven Grant, who is recruited by the CIA as the only person in a position to thwart a terrorist plot that originated from a cell embedded in the United Nations. We are transported inside that drama then vicariously find ourselves in Grant’s position of being the only person able to thwart the threat of worldwide nuclear holocaust that would most certainly bring colossal destruction to Israel and the United States. Steven Grant finds himself in this position not because he set out to become an international hero, but because life placed him where he didn’t want to be. I hate a book like this that grips me so hard I can’t put it down, driving me to hurry only to be disappointed because it all came to an end so quickly. Thrillers are like that. As a spy thriller, it succeeds. Like a bull dozer, the book relentlessly pushes the reader closer and closer to the edge of the climactic cliff. In a few places, the

pace slowed and just when I was tempted to speed through a few paragraphs to get back to the action, it wrapped its coils around me like a huge python that would not release its grip, clobbered me and squeezed my stomach again! No book is perfect. The intensity of the romance is quite vapid and while reading, I kept arguing with the author that the brief encounter with the beautiful female psychologist could not account for the intensity of their mutual fantasy of a life together. Even though the terrorist wanted to also kill his new infatuation, Fuller needed to show much more heat between them to make their relationship believable. Fortunately, the plot is rich enough to carry the story in spite of the tepid sexual tension. As a first novel, I am eagerly awaiting Gary Fuller’s next novel. He has proven to me that he knows how to sink his talons into a reader’s mind and leave us satisfied enough to keep coming back for more. (Ed. Note: Gary Fuller is a member of the Ajijic Writers’ Group. The book sells for $180 pesos. Available at the following locations: American Legion Post #7, Chapala, Libros y Revistas De Ajijic, Diane Pearl’s. A Kindle version is available from Amazon.)

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INSIDE IN NSID DE A ALZHEIMER’S LZHEIMER’S DISEASE DISEASE Byy Michael B Michael Cook Cook

s family members and friends, we can research A.D. and find out the facts and the implications on how the disease can impact on the sufferer. So I decided to look at the disease from the sufferer’s perspective. This was the challenge because nobody knows what the sufferer is thinking. It’s like asking the question what Heaven will be like. Until somebody returns then we only speculate? When I started marinating the idea of writing this, the first thing that came to mind was it had to be disjointed. It had to have as you might say a lack of concentration. Then came the imagery, I saw myself sitting on the patio in a nursing home suffering in the later stages of the disease. Family were visiting, strangers all of them talking over me as though I’m not there. I’m not there is the key-

stone to the piece. Midas. It wasn’t long after 10 years gone that Midas came to visit me He was a wizened figure with hanging skin on a skeletal frame and a lifeless white face with horizontal lips that never would allow the corners to rise to indicate a smile. “I am here for you he said I am your lodger. Do you mind if l stay a while?” I enquired about his associate, a man in black with a ring of white around his neck. “Does he have a name your priest?” “I speak for him. His name is Catharsis, he is here for you because he will become your muse.” “This visitation or disease is not what I need right now so get out you f--- Jackals, I might be wounded but I will heal myself and I don’t need a partition, grill

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and 5 Hail Mary’s and crucifix to hang myself if I so choose. Don’t you circle me, salivating at the thought that I have no resilience to see you leave this house.” “Just take a step backwards Michael, you have no muse because you are bemusing and confusing. Are you not bewildering like the beast the jackals seek to feast. You are weak. Your fat is no more when 17 pounds and 10 years exited the door. You smoke like Dachau and drink like a man who has dipped his toe in hell. Your mind is rapidly becoming a Mary Celeste devoid of a future. The priest is waiting... Don’t walk away when I am talking to you. Wrapping yourself in a bouquet of barbed wire really helps doesn’t it? Come on say the words think back to when you were 10 sitting with 12 disciples with somber faces holding their rosary beads, the smell of stale copal hanging in the air like a dead man on the gallows.” “What do you want me to say Midas, Catharsis, Loneliness, Isolation or whatever the f--- you call yourself? Bless me father for I have sinned that I feel so happy I could s---. It’s a start I guess.” “How often are you this happy when you spend 10 hours asleep on a funeral pyre and the rest of the time sat on the pan listening to your life drop into an ocean of chaos?” “You know, Midas, you have changed

your modus operandi because everything I touch turns to s---. Is this all that’s left in this God forsaken brain? When did my life become an egg timer and how long can the search go on?” “You will have a good—” “What day! Pray tell when that will be and how long will that last five minutes, 20 minutes. I don’t have time for mind games. I’m on borrowed time that’s why I don’t sleep because if l sleep I will wake up and I don’t remember.” “The people who love you will remember.” Yeah right! You’re such a condescending piece of s---. I can hear them now. Oh it’s genetic you know, it was such a shame to see him like that.” I put my pen down I am devoid of ideas and three margaritas have addled my brain I will in time, if time is kind, return back to this if I can remember where my bedroom is. Bless me father it’s been four weeks since my last confession. I have once again picked up my pen and its midnight plus 20 I have now once again picked up my pen and it is midnight plus five. You see if I really concentrate I can remember. What the hell who am I All I know is that I have a shrinking life Do I have a WIFE? And what’s love and who are these people that look at me so forlorn.”

“Michael, Michael, I am here I am not an apparition. I feel your anger, your frustration your inability to process a split second recall. I am your damage limitation.” “Why the priest Midas? Is it my time or is it my hatred of religion that I disbelieve. You can lie to me because tomorrow I will have no recollection.” “Michael, listen for a while and try to remember why. If I give you images will you stay a little while? Are you listening to me?” “Is it time for the chocolate cake?” “Look at the plate, what do you see?” “Crumbs.”

“Does that answer your question?” “Who the f--- ate that? I have been here all the time?” “Let’s scan, Michael. Tell me what you recall?” “Why is this tea still hot? It’s been sitting here forever?” “Michael, Michael, your time is near, it’s coming, it’s in your leg and it’s heading north.” “STOP” “You’re smiling, Michael, what do you see?” “A cemetery, a tombstone of love and parents. I see them vividly Mum and Dad and me.

STOP! “Michael, what do you see?” “A log fire, mesquite and a bottle of Bacardi.” “You’re smiling.” “It could have been journeys end but like you, Midas, I touched it and I froze, how long? I like this—it’s like packing a suitcase of all the best memories in your life.” “It’s reached your femoral vein.” “Do I need the priest, have I still got time to do some more packing before I leave. It’s only a small suitcase but if time permits I want to cram it full of good memories to take me to the other side.

I am getting chilly. STOP! I see my sister and I am aged nine in the coal house, rubbing our faces, arms and legs with coal because Mum said that we didn’t need a bath. That one has to go into the suitcase. I’m getting tired; I feel something’s going on. Why are they leaving, stay, stay a little while longer, come back, come back to me, come back to me.” “Michael, don’t close your eyes, it’s in your jugular artery. Look at me. What do you want me to say.” “Bless me, father, I can’t remember anything.”

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ANOTHER BITE OF HISTORY By Mel Goldberg

n March 5, 1953, Joseph Vissarionovich Djugashvili Stalin died of a cerebral hemorrrhage. His body was preserved and placed in Lenin’s mausoleum. Dora Abramova, a staunch party member, said she had kept Lenin in her heart to help her through hard times. She said she had consulted her hero who told her, as if he were alive, It is unpleasant to be next to Stalin, who did so much harm to the party. Led by first secretary of the Communist Party Nikita Khrushchev, who championed de-Stalinization, the Politburo issued a statement that Dora Abramova was correct. Stalin did not honor Lenin’s vision for a better world, had abused power, and had repressed the honorable Soviet people in his cult of personality. Therefore he did not deserve to rest alongside the great Lenin So on October 31, 1961, his body was removed from its place of honor and reburied near the Kremlin wall. His grave, half-hidden by trees, had a small bust and the simple inscription J. V. STALIN 1879-1953 But recently some devoted antiStalinist Bolsheviks found the unassuming grave. They dug up the remains and ground the bones to dust. To the dust they added sour yeast-based dough, beat in some eggs and onions, and filled small trays with the substance which they baked. They then announced Stalin’s fate anonymously on Face-

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book: he had become pirogi. What would good proletariats do if Stalin pirogi appeared next to their morning coffee at Starbuck’s at the shopping center Mega Khimki in Moscow? Oh, wait, there is a theory that eating your enemies absorbs their powers. It’s a type of spiritual mystery. The end result is always shit, though one man’s shit is another’s compost. Now we know that history has always been made by common men and women although the Bolsheviks who dug up Stalin said their actions had no inherent value. So people of the working class who daily toil in factories or groceries might bring a bit of Stalin home and set it on a plate to have it as an evening snack with vodka. And after all is said and done, who cares if Stalin pirogis are a fiction? Memorializing death is complex. Costco now sells its caskets online. The past is never done. It always comes back and must be consumed over and over again. VISIT MEL’S WEBSITE: www.authormelgoldberg.com

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LLA AF FRONTERA RONTER A F FABULOSA ABULOSA By June Summers

he U.S.-Mexican border is an imaginary line stretching from San Diego to Matamoros. It is 1,933 miles long, and forms the southwest boundaries of California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas. Its influence permeates an area two to three hundred miles wide, on both sides of the line. Traveling from east to west, one becomes aware he is entering the borderland when he reaches Houston. Here, Dixie grits turn into Mexican tortillas; cold beer signs become a cerveza fria; hay isn’t something you feed a horse nor a papa someone you write to for money. This blending of Mexican-American cultures becomes more pronounced the closer you get to the border. It manifests itself in the language, music, food, dress and philosophy of life. Conversations are fractured, sometimes right in the middle: “What the hell, que pasa?” “Not a damn cosa.”

Newspapers carry sections in Spanish. Menus, voting instructions, traffic signals, church missals, and grocery sales are printed in both languages. Spanish appears on emergency warning cards on the airline and telephone dialing instructions. Billboards blossom with advertising in Spanish: Dos Equis, Carta Blanca, Sabor Salem, and Se Habla Español. (English is spoken here appears in some store windows!) Borderland airwaves are rife with local news in Spanish. Radio stations trumpet disc jockey programs targeting Latin hit tunes. Schools have bilingual curriculums and students are taught in English and Spanish. Mexican songs are sung and few are the borderland students who don’t do the Mexican Hat Dance

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equally as well as they square dance. Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonald’s fast food outlets are outnumbered by taco, burrito, and other Mexican food restaurants. Antojitos are frequent bill-offare in school cafeterias. Such is the complexity of interlocking cultures and the closer you get to the border, the more obvious it is. Cowboy hats make way for broad brimmed Mexican sombreros. Tight blue jeans are replaced by elaborately embroidered cotton dresses. People look younger and it has nothing to do with borderland air. Mexico’s birthrate is among the highest in the world, with the average age as low as fourteen. Short dark people dominate the border. The tempo of life becomes slower. Here it is always mañana. Anglo philosophies intermingle with Latino. The Anglo’s compulsion for constant action is subtly sidetracked. The Anglo, vaguely aware that he might die someday, acts as if he doesn’t believe it. The Mexican believes. His acceptance of both life and death often expresses itself in comical credos, e.g., “If drinking interferes with your work, stop working.” People living a few miles from the border are dubbed “border rats.” The degree of their indoctrination in bi-nationalism, biculturalism, and bilingualism, is intensified by their proximity to the border.

The following are guidelines to determine whether one has become a 100% “border rat.” When you listen to Mariachis without ear plugs. Prefer your chili sauce super-scorcher hot. Whistle “La Cucaracha” in the shower. Exchange taco recipes while driving alongside another car. Season beans with lard. Slick your hair down with butter. Call your boss “patron.” Stucco your house and paint it robinegg blue. Never do today what you can do manana. Use beer cans for road markers. Paint boulders white and drive around them. Mix all drinks with tequila. Spend your day off polishing your car and drinking beer. Name all your dogs Chico, Paco, Taco, Nino, etc. Find yourself singing the “Star Spangled Banner” and begin with “Jose, can you see . . .?” “Is it for real?” One asks a 100% border rat. “Will it be like this someday, all the way to Los Angeles?” The hundred-per center gives an elaborate Mexican shrug. “Quien sabe? Who knows?”

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THE WALL By Gloria Marthai

urrent memory of the formidable wall and gate is becoming mistier, receding as a shadow touched by darkness, falling away into the unrecorded past. Built in turbulent, repressive times following the Mexican Revolution and the Cristero Rebellion, it remained a veritable wedge until 1935, separating the two barrios of the village on the southwest shore of Lake Chapala. On the east side of the wall lived the “prietos,” dark-skinned, indigenous people. On the west side lived the “gueros,” lighter-skinned mestizos. Great hand-forged iron hinges protested the nightly closing of the imposing gate, the authoritative clank of the chain and large key in the padlock. The huge rock wall, built with such rancor, must have seemed a sheer mountain to village children, the hand-added planks of the gate, a ladder to the sky. The staunch silvered mesquite gateposts bore many scars, some from horns of cattle funneling through the gate but also from a resentful machete-wielding man, crazy drunk. God, too, had his say when lightning split and burned one post. Ignoring the omen, the guero men fashioned another, equally hefty. Horse-drawn carts with great iron-clad wheels, animals of burden, herds of cattle and working men passed back and forth through the gate daily. “The wall was necessary for commerce,” intoned Doña Chuy, a prosperous land owner, her peers nodding in agreement. Indeed, commerce was active in this fertile alluvial valley where people toiled from sunup to sundown producing abundant crops. Brigades of men shouldering yokes with buckets of water from hand-dug wells irrigated the fields. Men, carrying arms, drove burro trains loaded with produce to Guadalajara. They traveled varied trails to avoid “Cristero” bandits, for those were days when men robbed and killed wantonly and peril stalked the land. Friendship, playing and courting were discouraged between the two barrios. Only the cabecitas, small

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heads, a genetically impaired family, moved with impunity on either side, sombreros riding low on their heads, their open smiling faces exuding innocence. Life was harsh and demanding, many times brutal by necessity. A girl who scorched a garment with the heavy charcoal burning iron, was burned with the iron. A child who allowed cattle to stray earned a weltraising whipping. When a cow kicked over a bucket of milk, the milker did not eat that day. It was during this time of friction and distrust that a hateful, relentless feud was born. Only after nine appalling murders that spanned several generations did it wear itself out in recent history with the shooting of a gentle, dignified 60-year-old man who was attending a cock fight. His bloody body lay in the blistering sun all day. No one would touch him, not even the police. The man’s brothers packed pistols for months afterwards. Fear of family retribution gripped like a vice. One day in 1935, in a dash to avoid the crushing hooves of a stampeding herd of cattle, a fair-complexioned child scaled the slippery planks of the gate on a rainy day, lost his balance, and toppled head first from the highest plank, staining the wet cobbles red. Being only five years old, the child was considered an angel and he seemed so as he lay in the simple white-washed pine box. The wake, surprisingly enough, was attended by people from both barrios, their natural love of children overcoming restriction and resentment, sorrow being their fragile link. Illuminated by candlelight, they sang throughout the night, women’s voices alternating with men’s, “Adios, mi amor.” Goodbye, my Love. However, tears could not erase the tragedy of the child’s death nor the social injustice and insult of the gate and wall. The following day, by common assent, the gate was dismantled. Was the gate really necessary for commerce, Doña Chuy?

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APARTHEID, CRICKET & DOLLY By David Harper

asil D’Oliveira died today in England. He was 80 or maybe 83; his real age was always a mystery. I saw him play in Kidderminster in 1964 and I followed his career with interest. “Dolly,” as he was known, was a professional cricketer. He became famous as the man who caused South Africa’s sports isolation to begin in 1968; an isolation that was not lifted until Nelson Mandela was released from prison and apartheid in South Africa was dismantled. Most Americans know that Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in baseball. While Dolly’s case was not the same and he didn’t have to endure what Robinson endured in his first year, there are similarities. In South Africa, where he was born, the D’Oliveiras were branded as Cape Coloreds. This meant that despite being an outstanding cricketer he was not allowed to play with whites in the major league. Cape Coloureds were neither African nor Indian but often a mix of those races and whites. His name suggests a family background from Portuguese Goa, and he looked Indian. American’s don’t know much about cricket and some even confuse it with croquet. But cricket by the 18th century had professional players, making it the world’s oldest professional team sport. Today it’s the second most watched sport in the world after soccer. However in America it is so unknown that many web sites purporting to list the world’s top spectator sports don’t even list it. It’s similar to baseball in that runs are scored by hitting a thrown ball with a bat. However it’s a much tougher sport than baseball and injuries are more frequent. The balls used in both sports are very similar but a cricket ball is slightly larger, harder and heavier than a baseball. Only the catcher is allowed to wear gloves and the other players must field the ball bare-handed which is the cause of many broken fingers. I write from personal experience. In cricket the pitchers are called bowlers and it’s legal to throw the ball at the batter, which is why today they wear so much protective equipment. In both games the ball can reach 100 mph on its way to the batter although it occurs less often in cricket. Another problem cricket batters face is that bowlers bounce the ball in front of them; this adds vertical movement

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making it more difficult to hit. When D’Oliveira was able to put together enough money to buy his passage to England he was already 28, or likely older and past normal cricketing prime. After three years in the minor leagues there, he made it to the major league and quickly became a star. Then he was picked to play for England’s national team and this led to his second brush with apartheid. After a wonderful performance against Australia, Dolly was surprisingly omitted from the England team picked to tour South Africa later in 1968. Regrettably sports and politics often intertwine; South African Prime Minister, John Vorster, had informed England that they would not play against a team that included nonwhites. The financially-minded English cricket authorities gave in and left Dolly out, setting off an unprecedented national uproar. However when a player originally picked was injured, England’s cricket authorities suddenly found their backbone and replaced him with D’Oliveira. With quiet dignity, Dolly refused to be drawn into the uproar and it was only later known that he had turned down a lucrative coaching contract, arranged by the South African government, to try and make him unavailable for the England team. The South African authorities confirmed that his inclusion was unacceptable and England cancelled the tour. All nations decided to follow this example and South African teams were boycotted from the international arena in all sports. The boycott lasted 22 years and hurt that white minorityruled and sports mad country, more than any other sanction against them. Rest in peace Dolly, you earned it.

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To Love for a Thousand Years/ El amor que dura mil años Ediciones del Lago (2011) Poems by James Tipton; translations by Flor Aguilera García Reviewed by Margaret Van Every Available at Diane Pearl Colecciones, Galería Sol Mexicano, and Coffee & Bagels $10 US/100 pesos

ust when you thought you knew Jim Tipton through his libidinous bad-boy tanka and haiku (Proposing to the Woman in the Rear View Mirror, Washing Dishes in the Ancient Village, and All the Horses of Heaven), he does a 180 and proves you wrong! In those joyfully wanton Japanese short verses, legs, breasts, belly buttons, mangos and coconuts sparked fantasies of carnal encounters with honest-to-God women. In his new book To Love for a Thousand Years/El amor que dura mil años these same metaphors are used to transport the reader to the realm of the divine. And that has been the aim of poetry in the ecstatic tradition, on which Jim models these poems, for a thousand years—namely to invoke an intoxication and longing for union with the divine through the language of sensual love. The company he keeps in this tradition are Rumi, Hafiz, Meister Eckhart, and St. Francis of Assisi, among others. And though his aim may be different, you don’t have to read far to find the old randy Jim lurking in the lines of his new book. He’s there with a grin and a wink—it is the same love of the female form plus a playful irreverence for the Judaic-Christian-Islamic notion of God, who He is and how to find Him. For example, in one of my favorite poems, Jim stumbles on a shipwrecked God who is washed ashore and needing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Just watch what happens when there is an exchange of breath. The breath is going from the poet to God, but take note of that wink. Jim writes: The day I found God washed ashore He was barely breathing until I began to apply mouth to mouth resuscitation. ..... But then, as I was breathing into Him, He began breathing back into me. And finally, one eye, crusty with the sea, opened, and winked.

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Before I could say a word He transformed into a beautiful woman ..... and He has been doing that ever since, every day of my life. Jim concludes that that was the day he really got serious about religion. You could take this poem to be a delightfully absurd, irreverent joke or you might read that God’s existence is infused with the breath of his creation, without which He can’t survive. Another poem I like for the sheer fun and irreverence of it is Everybody Knows, in which the poet claims that God, which is dog spelled backward, likes to play and sometimes hide in the dogs of Ajijic. The admonition is to look on our dogs with love and wish them buenos días . . . just in case. To Love for a Thousand Years is also a break for Tipton from the formal restraints of tanka and haiku, of which he was a master. These poems are free, unmetered, centered on the page. They are musical and dance off the tongue, clearly written to be read out loud. They wed irreverent, outrageous metaphor with deeper meaning that uplifts the spirit. Through this irreverence and joy in the spoken word, Tipton leads us to reverence. Every poem has been beautifully translated into Spanish by Mexican poet, novelist, and film critic Flor Aguilera García. (To Love for a Thousand Years is a available locally at Diane Pearl’s Colecciones in Ajijic.)

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By Paul Jackson paulconradjackson@gmail.com

here is a wave of prosperity - fuelled by typical and admirable American enterpreneurship and innovation - sweeping across the USA that is about to create hundreds of thousands of jobs. Why haven’t you heard about this? Because no one seemingly ever wants to say anything nice about the oil and gas industry. Instead, they blame ‘Big Oil’ for just about all their woes, even though the big western oil companies control only some 7% of the world’s oil reserves, with the other 93% being owned by state-run outfits in the Middle East and other oil producing regions that in cartel style the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries ( OPEC) - try to set the price of a barrel of oil. To say Exxon-Mobil, Shell or British Petroleum can control world oil prices is like saying a small weekly newspaper in Nebraska can control the advertising rates of the New York Times or Washington Post. But the negative attitude towards

Paul Jackson the oil and gas industry may be about to change. Let’s start off small. What is the fourth largest oil producing state in the USA? It’s North Dakota which because of its oil and natural gas production now has the lowest jobless rate in the nation at 3.5%. Yup, after Texas, Alaska and California comes North Dakota - and soon we’ll be adding Pennsylvania, Ohio and West Virginia to the list. These states, and others, are starting to exploit their reserves of ‘shale’ oil - sometimes called ‘tight’ oil which is oil drawn from rock-like formations. Large corporations, some domestic and some foreign, are now planning to build manufacturing plants in these states because of economically feasible shale oil and natural gas resources. Analysts say these plants could create one

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million new jobs in the next 15 years. As an aside, natural gas prices have fallen by roughly 75% in the past six years. There’s more heartening news. For the first time since 1949, the USA this year will be a net exporter of refined petroleum products such as diesel, aviation fuel, heating oil and even basic refined gasoline. It’s true, the USA is still dangerously dependent on imported crude oil from countries that detest America - but that situation is changing, too. Remember when President Richard Nixon recalled that importing 20% of America’s oil needs was economically unsustainable and a security threat and was determined to cut that dependence back. Then Watergate intervened and eventually that 20% dependency climbed to staggering 70%. Americans still remember what happened then - under President Jimmy Carter—the Middle East tightened the noose and there were staggering lineups at the pumps. Yet now some analysts assess that 70% of imported oil has fallen as low as 50% - down 10% since 2006 alone - and the largest supplier of ‘foreign’ imported oil is Canada. Canada now supplies some 20% of America’s imported oil and that will likely double within the next 12-15 years. Obviously, Canada will never try to

threaten or blackmail the USA. Incidentally, although Alberta’s oil sands are often said to contain the second largest oil reserves in the world after Saudi Arabia, some analysts believe the shale oil reserves across the USA are even larger. To top off the good news a barrel of regular crude itself has fallen by 30% since 2008 - and in one day alone last year oil futures fell by 5% a barrel Did I say to ‘top off ’ the good news that’s not exactly correct because there is so much good news about the oil and gas industry it’s hard to know where to stop. It’s a continuing good news story.

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KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES’ By Tod Jonson

eople in Southern Alabama have an idea that they are just ‘down-home-sortafolks’ who enjoy everything and that you are going to enjoy it with them. The Jones family of three brothers wanted to go hunting and take me along. Little did they know that I am totally against killing animals for sport. One weekend in September, the countryside sounds as though rehearsals are being held for WWIII. I am uncertain if it is the official start of the hunting season but every red-blooded hunter is urged to take a gun, his dog, and his murderous inclinations into the woods in search of “sport.” An announcement in a local paper advised that a gunsmith was offering a complete range of artillery at preseason discounts on all of his 60 or 70 models. . But curiosity gathered steam, and I joined the Jones boys to see their arsenal of weapons with “electronic sights,” even though I doubted that I could handle anything dangerous; besides, why would I need an electronic sight to shoot myself in the foot. It didn’t take long to realize that the real fascination with gun mania had to do with the outfits and accessories that made one look like a rugged expert. The Jones “boys” (aged between 65 and 70) took me to a preview of these hunting fashions. The racks of gear looked like a small paramilitary depot: cartridge bandoliers, plaited leather rifle slings, game pouches, wilderness boots by paratroopers, fearsome knives with nine-inch blades, bottles of red wine in designer belts, and a new collar with a tinkling bell for each doggy. The bell was to signal hunters that it was his dog, not the stalked game of the season. I immediately bought a bell attached to a glitter neck brace. If they could not hear it from the loud reports from guns, I could still be spotted shining in the bushes. Outside, to show I was “having fun” with the guys, I raised my gun, and pulled the trigger. I shot a tree dead. Dogs have no concept of the idea that hunting stops with a signal of lunch. Hunting was not that important anyway, but lunch was. Big Brother, Bobby Jones, called “lunch!” and all three of them, with me, came out of the woods camouflage-clad and headed

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for the van parked by the side of the road. One had his dog with him. The other two, plus my borrowed dog, were nowhere to be seen. After much loud calling, a symphony of bells exited from the trees as if they had discovered another grander toilet masquerading as a tree near the car. The biggest relief was that neither fowl nor animal received a scratch by all this armored battle gear. It was my own gunshot and a murdered tree that left any indication that we were within a hundred miles of the place. I felt that the good ole boys just wanted to play dress up, look serious and pretend to be alert to the opening of “hunting” season. In fact, Ken (the youngest brother at 65) accidently nicked his little finger on the knife hanging from his overloaded waist belt. The middle brother got woozy and started to swoon at the sight of blood. I suspect that if they had “captured” anything in the woods, it would live to be 300 years old since none of the three would have killed it. The Jones boys bought upwards of 12 guns in different sizes and makes. I suppose they intended carrying them like golf clubs, pulling out #4 in case a tiger attacked them downtown, or #10 if a rabbit should come hopping along. This outing costs the “boys” more than $4,000—all just to have lunch in the woods while dressed up to play make-believe. Violence wasn’t their thing, especially in hot weather— but each of the guys, along with their wives, talked excitedly about hunting in the snow in December, and combining that with a bit of skiing. It might be hard, however, spotting reindeer in Alabama while shooting from a ski lift, especially with no snow. I now have slightly-used camouflaging clothing for sale. Doggy and guns remain in Alabama, and I will not return until every speck of snow has disappeared. Do not worry about Easter. The bunnies are safe with these three guys, though Memorial Day is something to dread. The Jones boys could be lurking somewhere amongst all the tiny ringing bells. Now you see why you don’t want to invite me to go anywhere that you have to dress up for, carry a big stick, and a belled guide dog for protection.

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Shelley Edson Phone: 376 – 765 – 4049 Email: Shelley.el.ojo@gmail.com

Past Events On a warm and sunny New Year’s Day, twenty two people waded into the placid waters of Lake Chapala at the Chapala Malecón. Why? These adventurous folks were there to raise funds for the Cruz Roja. Once in the water, they had to stay partially immersed for twenty minutes. As the minutes ticked away, some participants played frisbee and some looked like they wanted to be anyplace other than standing in the lake. Pictured is polar bearette, Margy Kassier, who moved here in September from Alaska. The children at the School for the Deaf and Special Needs Kids were Chapala Polar Bearette treated to a special party to celebrate both Christmas and Kings Day. Approximately 100 children attended the fun event that had piñatas, a clown, cake and pop, and presents for everyone. The party was sponsored by loyal supporters of the School, Fernando Gomez and Steve Cross, owners of Casa Flores B & B in Ajijic. These children receive an education that they would not receive anywhere else. Not

Childen at the movies all of the children are deaf; some have cerebral palsy, Down’s syndrome, quadriplegia or paraplegia, or various levels of visual impairment. Along with education and transportation to and from school, the children receive a daily hot meal. More than 20,000 such meals were served last year. Pictured: The children at the movies – the event was courtesy of Fernando Gomez and Steve Cross. Seated with the children, from L to R, are Fernando Gomez, Mike Campo, President. and Cece Girling. VP of Fundraising, ONGOING EVENTS Every Monday from 10 to 12:30 pm, the Monday Market at the Hole in One in San Antonio offers delicious homemade food for sale as well as handmade crafts such as jewelry, purses, soap and knitwear. Examples of the homemade food offered for sale are: Italian sausages, chile en nogadas, tamales, New Orleans gumbo, New Orleans Boudin, Chili, smoked salmon and smoke salmon dips, flavored butters, french truffles, pies, banana bread, fancy cupcakes, peanut butter cups, doggie treats, gluten free products, corn beef, shrimp and salmon bisque. Available food products may vary each week and many vendors accept special orders. Vendors include local village men

and women, gourmet expat cooks and artisan expats. Easy parking is available. Pictured: Mary Ann Waite with her homemade cured corn beef. The third Tuesday of every month at 2:30 pm, the Royal Canadian Legion meets at Bar Tomas’ Restaurant in Chapala. A veterans’ organization since 1918, the group recently received its charter for the first branch in Mexico. If you are a Canadian citizen, British Commonwealth subject, American citizen or a Mexican ex-serviceman, you are eligible for membership. On

At the Monday Market

Officers Royal Canadian Legion

the agenda are events such as card games, dances, movies, sports activities as well as other entertainment. “We want to bring a little bit of Canada’s military history and traditions home to Lake Chapala.” For more information: e-mail rclchapala@gmail.com or phone secretary Lynn Bishop at 765-3264. Pictured, Left-to-Right : Lynn Bishop, Secretary, Mary Beth ‘Sam’ Corbeil, President; and Duanne Rathwell, Treasurer.

FUTURE EVENTS We have added something new. If you need to purchase tickets for an event from the LCS ticket booth, Diane Pearl, Charter Club, or the Auditorio de la Ribera, you can find the hours that they are open under “Ticket Info,” at the end of this column. February 7 at 5pm and the 6th at 6pm = the Auditorio de la Ribera presents a local classical ballet group. Tickets are 35 pesos and sold at the Auditorio. February 8, at 3 pm - A Mexican Fiesta and Art Auction will be held at the Hotel Nueva Posada, Ajijic. The Fiesta starts with a cash bar and music, followed by lunch and the art auction. Proceeds provide funds for the upcoming April Easter Passion Play. Tickets are 150 Pesos to include lunch and can be purchased at Diane Pearl and Nueva Posada. For questions, email mjuren@itrheat.com. Easter Passion Play February 10, 11, 12 from 11 to 5 pm - The 35th Annual Mexican National Chili Cook-Off, is at Tobolandia in Ajijic. All proceeds go to local charities. For three days professionals and home cooks compete for the title of People’s Choice Winner in three categories. Friday, both professional and home cooks compete in the salsa competition and margarita tasting. Saturday, home cooks compete with their favorite chili recipes. Sunday, the restaurant chefs compete for their best chili. For more information, visit: www.mexicanchilicookoff.com. New this year, is the first annual rubber duck race with proceeds benefitting the Cruz Roja Chapala and Chili Cook Off charities. Three thousand rubber ducks will hit the waters of Tobolandia on all three days with duck heats scheduled at 3:30 pm each day. The person that is holding the winning duck number in each heat wins a Skagen watch. The top 50 ducks from each heat compete on the 12th at 4 pm for the grand prize: a 32” flat screen TV, generously donated by Ajijic Electronics. For only 50 pesos, you can purchase a ticket with a unique duck number; the ducks are not physically Margarita Tasting at the sold. Discount “Quack Packs” are also available. You can purchase tickets at the LCS Cruz Roja Table or

Chili Cook-off

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teen inches long and the birds are realistically molded, ZLWK H\HV KHDG PDUNLQJV DQG EUHDVW IHDWKHUV accentuated with incised lines. Since ducks are not known to have any mythological or religious associations, it is assumed that their inclusion among WKH IXQHUDU\ JLIWV ZDV DV IRRG IRU WKH VRXOÂ²RU PD\EH MXVW EHFDXVH RI WKHLU FKDUP"

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the Chili Cookoff. You do not need to be present to win. For more information, contact Barbara or Bill Wilson at 765-7047. February 10 to 21 - It is Carnival time! According to one news report, 90,000 people are expected to attend the Chapala Carnival. The carnival parade starts at 7 pm on the 10th and Panteon Rococo performs the next day.. Check Facebook: “Carnaval de Chapala” for more information and event schedules. In Ajijic, on the 21st, a traditional parade is scheduled in the morning. Evening festivities include music, stilts, masks, costumes, bands, drums and more. February 10, at 7 pm - 7th Gala del Mariachi featuring Dina Buendia at Hotel Real de Chapala is a benefit for the works of San Andres Apostol Church in Ajijic. Tickets are 250 pesos and Carnival Time! can be purchased at the hotel or parish. February 11, 6 pm - CREM performs music of Mexico and music from classic films at the Auditorio de la Ribera. Tickets are 100 pesos and can be purchased at the Auditorio. February 11 to March 1 - Scotiabank Northern Lights Music Festival has a jammed packed program of musical events scheduled from February 11 to March 2. Please see elsewhere in this month’s El Ojo for a complete schedule. Performance information is also available at: www.northernlightsmusicfestival.com.

Scotiabank Northern Lights Concert February 12, 4 pm – Los Cantantes del Lago presents Broadway Showstoppers”4” with more Broadway favorites sung by the talented Los Cantantes singers. Purchase tickets for 175 pesos at the LCS ticket booth or email cantantesdellago@ gmail.com. February 14, 5 pm – On Valentine’s Day, MAS Musica presents Classical FX at the Auditorio de la Ribera. This versatile, celebrated quartet from the Washington DC Kennedy Center Opera Company will perform classic opera, Mexican tunes, southern gospels, Broadway hits, and Valentine “sweets at the new time of 5 pm. After the performance, dine at Roberto’s Restaurant. They have a special Valentine’s Day dinner planned. Show your ticket stub to the server and receive a 15% discount on your dinner meal, plus you will also have the opportunity to meet the performers. Tickets are 350 pesos and can be purchased at the LCS ticket booth and Charter Club Tours as well as at a new ticket location Sundays, Feb 5 and 12 from 10 to 2 pm on the Guadalupe Victoria walkway near the plaza. February 15, 6 pm to 10 pm - Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Have Hammers, Will Travel at the Club Exotica on the Ajijic Plaza; the entrance is through El Jardin Restaurant. Enjoy a sit-down BBQ Ribs or Chicken Dinner and then dance to the music of the popular Tall Boys Band. This annual fund raiser supports the Hammers Trade Center, where local youth and young adults learn valuable life skills through carpentry and woodworking classes. Purchase tickets for $300 pesos with main floor seating, or $400 pesos for premier mezzanine seating, at the LCS ticket booth and Diane Pearl. Tickets can also be purchased at the Trade Center, 49 Ocampo, and Actinver Bank. Come early to watch the Maestro and several students working on class projects. February 16, 6 pm – Ballet Folklorico of San Juan de Cosala performs at the Auditorio de la Ribera. Tickets can be purchased at the Auditorio for 150 pesos. For groups of 10 or more, tickets are 100 pesos each. February 23, 4 to 6:30pm - Enjoy a Cruise on the Lake with music and dancing on the boat “Batur.” Sponsored by the LCS Singles Group, non members are welcome. The Batur sails at 4:00 pm from the pier in front of La Palapa del Guayabo

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Have Hammers, Will Travel – Teaching Life Skills Restaurant at the east end of the Chapala Malecón. For more information, check the LCS section in this issue. February 23, 10:30 am – Behind the Walls Tours invites you to join an a escorted tour to see some very special Lakeside homes. Proceeds benefit the Lakeside School for the Deal and Children with Special Needs. Tickets are available at Diane Pearl and Charter Club Tours for170 pesos or 200 pesos the day of the tour. A Behind the Walls Tour is also scheduled for March 22. February 25 - Viva offers a bus trip to see Ernani by Verdi, at Teatro Diana, a HD Broadcast from the Metropolitan Opera. Tickets are $400 for non-members and must be purchased by February 11. To reserve, email marshallallenkrantz@yahoo.com February 25 and 26, 10 to 4 pm – Ajijic Society of the Arts (ASA) invites you to its first open studio event. Visit multiple ASA Artists home studios to see their work and the work of other artists. Artists’ works will also be available for purchase. To visit an open studio, you need to purchase a passport. The passport includes a brochure showing each artist’s work and address, plus a map with the location of the open studios. Passports will be on sale for 20 pesos at various locations, including the LCS ticket booth and Diane Pearl in early February. You can also purchase a passport at an open studio the day of the event. For more information, visit www,ajijicart.weebly.com February 26 – March 6, Lakeside Little Theatre (LLT) presents a musical treat: A Taste of Broadway. Written and directed by Barbara Clippinger, choreographed by Alexis Hoff, the musical director is Patteye Simpson. “A razzle dazzle tribute to Broadway’s glitzy and glamorous style of dancing, singing, eye-popping costumes and full-on production numbers. Like nothing seen at Lakeside before!” Purchase advance tickets at the Theatre from 10 to noon starting Thursday, February 23. Performances begin at 7:30 pm, and the bar opens at 6:30 pm. Sunday matinees are at 3 pm. For more information, visit the website: www.lakesidelittletheatre.com. March 1 at 2:30 pm - The American Legion Post #7, Morelos #114 in Chapala, invites you to a garden party and fashion show. Botanas and a complimentary glass of wine will be served and the fashion show will feature slightly used, inexpensive clothes, from Terry’s Tianguis. Proceeds benefit Cruz Roja and the Little Blue School. You can purchase tickets, in advance only, for 100 pesos at the Legion, at Terry’s Tianguis, or phone 765-2601. Terry’s Tianguis is located at Hidalgo 265-B on the carretera near the Immigration Office and they are open daily 9 am to 8 pm. If you haven’t visited Terry’s Tianguis lately, their remodeling is now complete and they offer a huge selection of slightly used clothes. March 13 - MAS presents VIVA Flamenco, a stellar Flamenco ensemble from Mexico City. The previously scheduled Compania de Danza Clasica y Neoclassca de Jalisco was cancelled due to a scheduling conflict. Ticket information will be provided at a later date. Ticket Info You can purchase tickets from the LCS ticket booth, Diane Pearl, Charter Club and the Auditorio as follows: The Lake Chapala Society (LCS) ticket booth is open Monday through Friday from 10 am toNoon. Diane Pearl Colecciones is located at corner of Colon and Ocampo in Ajijic, and tickets can be purchased 10 to 5 pm Monday through Saturday, and noon to 3 pm on Sunday. Charter Club Tours is located in Plaza Montana, on the main street and Colon. Tickets can be purchased from 10 to 5 pm Monday through Friday and Saturday from 10 to 1pm. Auditorio de la Ribera del Lago is located on the lake side of the Carretera in La Floresta and tickets can be purchased from 9 to 5 pm Monday through Saturday. Add Your Event To have your event included, please email Shelley.el.ojo@gmail.com by the 15th of the month.

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STEPS By Nora Thea

ife is full of steps. When we are babies we must take our first step in order to walk later. We learn that in order to become adults we must take small steps. First we are in grade school, then junior high and high school and finally we go to a university. In order to succeed we must study and learn so we can be educated, intelligent adults. Societies also have steps. Success is measured by wealth in the U.S.A. which is not necessarily good or true. In Mexico it is obvious that class consciousness still exists. Mexicans are used to steps. Their entire life is based on steps. If you look at their pyramids, you are reminded of their love of steps. Giant Steps, were the Aztecs and Mayans Giants. No, I don’t believe that, however. The pyramids are nothing but giant steps—built for religious reasons, and also for psychological reasons, no doubt. Any Mexican or tourist who climbed up the steps of the Sun Pyramid in Teotihuacan the great pyramid in Mexico City or the Great Pyramid in Uxmal, and especially the Pyramid of Kukulkan in Chichen Itza—, perfectly proportioned steps on top of steps, can no doubt understand, how it is that you must climb up to the top, to see the view. So, if you make it up to the top, you will be rewarded. Inter-

El Ojo del Lago / February 2012

esting Idea to think about? Steps are man-made; nothing in nature is square, except crystals such as pyrite. “Fools gold” is a perfect cubic crystal and a few other stones, but most things on earth are round. Steps, however, are square, and definitely man made. Therefore, I have to surmise that the entire idea of climbing up steps, or up in society or life is a man-made idea. If you visit cities like San Miguel de Allende, you can truly appreciate steps. The market is up several large portions of steps, Bella Arte and the theatre are all up many old and big steps. There is no getting away from steps. Guanajuato is full of steps, to and from their various levels and tunnels, and if you are willing to really see steps, go to buy silver trinkets in a city that is completely only steps, just up and down, Tasco or Manzanillo, with one hundred and one steps to the ocean from any condo. Yes, Mexico is full of steps, everywhere. Music is based on steps. We call them octaves, but they too are steps. A singer needs to be able to read notes and translate them into notes, and when sung properly they do take steps. Egyptians built as many as 110 famous pyramids in Egypt. In Gaza Plateau alone they built the Great Pyramid of Khufu and Khafre as well as the earliest pyramid which is called The Step Pyramid of King Djoser. Old Kingdom over 4,600 years ago took all types of steps in their lives to reach the top, as well as their death steps to eternity, which is shown on their walls, written in their symbols and script. In July l969, astronauts landed on the moon and what did they say? Aldrin and Armstrong said, “One small step for Man, one giant leap for Mankind.” Steps are something we all have to climb and deal with each day of our lives. Run if you can, walk if you must and pull up with all your might to get to the top. For the view from the top cannot be seen from the ground.

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The Lone Ranger By Mark Schwimmer

e knew very little about each others’ innards. I didn’t know what I required of him and was too young to ask even if I had. Anyway, it just wasn’t done. Parents and their children revolved in separate orbits. Interactions between the two camps were created by a sense of duty rather than an attempt to understand feelings and emotive concerns. You just cleaned your plate and kept your mouth shut. He was The Grand Master: too physically drained and emotionally unavailable to play with me or instruct me in the secrets of manhood. It wasn’t that he didn’t care for us kids. He just existed in his own world of anxiety, guilt, shame and failure. My mother would not allow him to forget it either. Nor me. She constantly reminded me of the deficits

of ““your of y urr father, yo fat ather her ” as iiff I ha h had ad d taken own ownership of his shortcomings. My parents were married for over seventy years, and as far as I can tell they had as little to do with each other as he had to do with me. We did little together as a family except watch TV. Our first “big” television was a used console model StrombergCarlson, equipped with a pair of vise grips as a replacement for the missing channel selector. The cabinet was roughly the size of the Bismark and housed a whopping 17” screen. The old man spent most of his spare time fiddling with it. On its best days, viewing it was like tripping on LSDnot that I have ever had first-hand

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knowledge of that experience itself. I am relying on my research efforts in this regard. He outfitted it with a set of rabbit ears that had the mandatory balls of aluminum foil on each antenna, and he would direct me to different locations in the living room with antennae in hand. I suffered a severe neck trauma from holding it over my head for an entire episode of “Playhouse 90”. The 90 meant minutes. When the picture started rolling wildly, or when watching became like looking into a fun house mirror, he got down to real business. Charlie was a cautious man and most of his moves were measured. Risk was avoided at all cost. He didn’t like to take chances. This did not keep him from ripping off the back of the console which carried the admonition DO NOT REMOVE WITHOUT RISK OF SEVERE ELECTRICAL SHOCK AND POSSIBLE DEATH. “Dad, isn’t that dangerous?” “Dangerous?” “Yeah, the warning.” “Oh, they just put that on there to scare you.” Duh. He would have his head inside the TV and start fiddling away. My job was to sit in front of the screen and tell him what the picture was doing while he fiddled. The truth was that the intricate meanderings of the picture were always in such a state of flux that verbal reports were unreliable and usually inaccurate by the time the old man made the required adjustment. It was at this point that I’d be excused and he would rig up a mirror in front of the tube held in place with a wire coat hanger and some duct tape. The only drawback to this technique was that everything was reversed. I learned to curse “like a sailor” at my father’s knee: or should I say “like a used car salesman” which was how he managed to feed us. Invariably, any improvement in performance would be of a temporary nature, which called for the pulling of the

suspected offending tubes and a trip to the local drug store, where he would plug them into their tube tester. Replacements for the defective ones would be purchased at the local TV dealer and everything would be okay for a few days until something else broke. Everyone experiences events the outcomes of which seem to hold their very life in the balance. The arrival of Dr. Video was one of these times for me, for if the TV had to go into the shop for a rehab, my existence as I understood it would end. While the “doctor” performed his examination, I would pace the sidewalk while ravenously chewing on my fingernails as I waited for the dreaded diagnosis. The only other events that rivaled this sort of tension of my ten year old life was watching my beloved Dodgers teeter between heroic victory and utter debasement. On a snowy January morning in 1958, the year the “beloved bums” would move to L.A. and desert us forever, my father and I were driving to the small gift shop in Westwood, N.J. that he then owned in partnership with my uncle Jack. The roads were slippery and he was driving even more cautiously than usual. Although I couldn’t have known it then, I now realize that this car ride was not about picking up a book, but was a way for him to break the news to me that my grandfather had died. He was pretty matter of fact about it. “Oh, by the way.” I never knew his authentic feelings. Up until the day of his own death, Charlie and I had never managed to conduct a conversation more than thirty seconds long: about as long as it takes to relate the difference between horizontal and vertical. As my dad was dying at the age of ninety-four, after not knowing him for almost sixty years, we could have had that conversation: Dad, how did you feel when grandpa died? How should I feel now?

Letter to the Editor “Dear Sir: I was gratified to find my poem “Tenacatita Bay” included in the January issue under the byline of that talented and prolific writer Anon. He/she has written so many and so varied poems, limericks and epitaphs that I am flattered to be mentioned in his/her body of work. Unfortunately I am now being investigated for plagiarism, as this poem appears in my recent “Collected Poems” - available at many outlets for an amazingly low price. The sales of my book will never cover my astronomical legal costs. I also wish to compliment Kay Thompson on her brilliant description of her “Trip To The Butterflies.” Joan and I had a similar notto-be-repeated experience. Those butterflies know how to choose an inaccessible spot to mate, so spare yourself a long hike and let them procreate in peace.

Yours (not anonymously) Michael Warren San Pablo” Our Editor Replies: Dear Michael, I am sorry for the misstep but the poem had no name of author, and on two occasions I asked at the bi-monthly Ajijic Writers’ Group if anyone had written the poem. This happens when people send me material that does not carry their names, and the only way I can later identify the author is by tracing my e-mails, which more times than not have already been deleted.

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EINSTEIN’S EYES Einstein could see the fundamental meaning when others could only see numbers. He could see when the logic did not fit. His unseen sense knew what lay beneath. Sometimes I look at a garden or the sun shining on asphalt or into a child’s deep eyes And wish I, like Einstein, could see the sublime connection, the grand web, and capture the verse to make it manifest. Let’s see… if time is not constant and I am impermanent, am I only here relative to another moving reality that passes through my presence only sensed by those, who, like Einstein, can peer beyond his mortality to see the poem which lies unseen to those who confidently keep their eye only on the obvious? Bill Frayer

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Literacy In Ancient Mexico By Ronald Barnett

iteracy is often considered one of the distinguishing features of any civilization. In ancient of Mexico the codices, or painted hieroglyphic books, of the Maya, Aztecs and Mixtecs illustrate graphically the development from oral or spoken tradition to written or literally expression. Most native records were destroyed during the Spanish Conquest. But from the Classic Maya area in Yucatan four preHispanic ritualistic-calendarical screenfold manuscripts have survived: the Dresden, Madrid, Paris and Grolier. A few early Aztec codices have been found but most of the genuine pre-Hispanic manuscripts come from the Mixtec area of Oaxaca. After the fall of Mexico-Tenochtitlan in 1521 some four hundred native or colonial documents were produced. The common style of the Aztec and Mixtec codices is referred to as â&#x20AC;&#x153; Mixtec-Aztec. The content of the codices ranges from the business-like tribute lists of Moctezuma in the Codex Mendoza to the historical and genealogical Mixtec narratives in the Vienna Codex and the astrological almanacs of the Yucatan Maya in the Resden Codex. Recent studies show that the ancient Maya made great strides toward a truly phonetic script such as we use today. However, the Mixtec-Aztec writing system, which at first appears the more primitive, was in some ways even more flexible than the Maya. Mesoamerican writing system comprises pictograms, ideograms, rebus writing, and phonetic or syllabic elements. For example, in the Dresden Codex, a realistic picture (pictogram) of a plaited reed mat represents exactly what it is, a reed mat. But because Maya chieftains customarily sat on such mats, it also symbolizes the concept of authority (ideogram). The quetzal bird and the serpent, standing for the Toltec culture hero, Quetzalcoatl (Feathered Serpent), is an example of rebus writing. Phonetic elements, which abound in the Maya hieroglyphic texts, represent the actual spoken sounds of the underlying language. The Maya writing system was language-bound. Only a priest of scribe who spoke the language could read the phonetically-based hieroglyphs in the codices. In contrast, the Mixtec-Aztec writing system was cross-linguistic. An Aztec priest or scribe who spoke only Nahuatl could be understood by his Mixtec-speaking counterpart in Oaxaca. In both cases, the pictorial parts of the manuscripts would have helped in the

interpretation. Today, silent reading is taken for granted. But even in ancient Greece reading aloud was the rule rather than the exception. The Codex Mendoza from Mexico-Tenochtitlan (AD. 1540 to 1542) contains a history of the Tenochca Mexica in three parts: the founding of the Aztec capital to its fall in 1521, a pictographic record of the tribute paid to the Aztecs by subject towns, and a detailed portrayal of daily Aztec life. In this manuscript we can actually trace this development from oral to written or literally forms of communication. The oral tradition in the Codex Mendoza is represented by the Tribute Roll of Moctezuma, a pictorial account of the pre-Conquest tribute paid to the Aztecs. A later copy contains a written explanation of the pictograms in both Nahuatl and Spanish. In this transitional stage the meaning of many glyphic elements can be deduced from the written version. Finally, a prose text of the same tribute list, written around 1554, represents the strictly written or literary tradition. The ancient Maya and Mixtec-Aztec writing systems were capable of conveying remarkably accurate information through the skillful blending of pictorial and phonetic elements in the same text. The ancient Maya, Aztec, or Mixtec reader was thus provided with a kind of visual-memory, not unlike the modern mass media. For example, on TV we not only hear the words of the speaker we see both images and written messages. In this sense we have come full circle from oral tradition through written tradition back to a mixture of both. On the high road to literacy, the Maya, Aztec, and Mixtec scribes and priests reached this important stage between the oral tradition and the strictly written text. In his way they were able to turn their painted hieroglyphic books into running commentaries that we can, in large part, read and understand even today.

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TALES FROM THE TRAIL: Top Ten Election Movies By Kelly Hayes-Raitt

recovering politician, I’m inspired by recent “top ten movie lists” to compile my own top ten list of great campaign movies. Chosen for their authenticity in describing tales from the trail are these films, in no particular order: 1. The Candidate stars Robert Redford as a photogenic public-interest lawyer who gets recruited to run for the US Senate. As a sure loser who unexpectedly climbs in the polls, Redford’s Bill McKay slowly gets corrupted by an election process that panders to the bland middle. Jeremy Lerner, a speechwriter for Sen. Eugene McCarthy’s 1968 presidential bid, won an Oscar for this 1972 script. Best line: In response to campaign consultant Peter Boyle’s recruiting challenge to Redford (“The question is whether you can put your ass on the line”), Redford’s character answers, “No, the question is whether it’s worth it.” 2. All the President’s Men won four Oscars, including Best Screenplay for William Goldman’s adaptation of the Carl Bernstein/Bob Woodward book about the Watergate break-in and the subsequent coverup by the Nixon Administration during Nixon’s re-election campaign. The 1976 film so authentically adhered to the Washington Post reporters’ experiences that set dressers took Polaroids of every reporter’s desk to recreate the Post newsroom on set. Best line: Woodward’s mysterious source Deep Throat (who, we learn three decades later, was the FBI’s second-incommand Mark Felt) advises a stuck Woodward, “Follow the money.” 3. Primary Colors, based on Newsweek reporter Joe Klein’s book penned under “anonymous,” stars John Travolta as a Clinton doppelganger and bimbo banger who can’t seem to shake a determined media corps dogging his presidential campaign. Best line from Elaine May’s 1998 Oscar-nominated script: Billy Bob Thornton’s gum-smacking cam-

El Ojo del Lago / February 2012

paign consultant says, “The media giveth and go f*ck yourself.” 4. Bob Roberts’ campaign motto is “Vote First, Ask Questions Later.” The conservative folk-singing US Senate candidate is a guitar-thumping, campaign stumping “millionaire businessman” who performs from his album “The Times They Are AChangin’ Back.” Best line in this 1992 satirical mocumentary written, directed and starring Tim Robbins: “I just wish there was a way I could vote for you 100 times,” gushes a woman in a fur coat. “There is actually,” says Bob Roberts, expressing every candidate’s ultimate fantasy. 5. Recount recounts the days and votes immediately following the controversial 2000 presidential election that separated George Bush and Al Gore by 538 votes in Florida. The 2008 HBO all-star movie’s best line, penned by Danny Strong: “The plural of ‘chad’ is ‘chad’?” 6. Milk : Sean Penn won the Oscar for his portrayal of gay activist Harvey Milk, one of the first openly gay elected officials. The 2008 biopic, written by Dustin Lance Black who also snagged an Oscar, follows Milk’s bids for San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Features emotional archival footage of then Supervisor Dianne Feinstein announcing the assassinations of Milk and Mayor George Mascone by conservative Dan White (who infamously invoked the “Twinkie Defense”). Best lines: “How do you teach homosexuality? Is it like French?” “If it were true that children emulate their teachers, we’d have a lot more nuns running around.” “Politics is theater. It doesn’t matter if you win. You make a statement. You say, ‘I’m here, pay attention to me.’” 7. Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room and Hot Coffee, two documentaries about the impact of corporate influence in elections. Enron (2005) is a remarkable documentary explaining the corporation’s manipulation of the energy grid that led to rolling brown-outs throughout Cali-

fornia in 2001, setting the stage for the successful recall of Gov. Gray Davis and the election of Gov. Arnold Schwartzenegger. [Disclosure: Several of the interviewees, including Harvey Rosenfield, a “Nader’s Rader” who has battled insurance companies for 30 years, have been clients of mine. Archival footage shows Marla Ruzicka, the young activist who counted civilian casualties in Iraq before she became one herself, was my roommate during my first trip to prewar Iraq.] Hot Coffee is a searing exposé of corporate efforts to limit consumers’ access to the justice system. One segment highlights a Chamber of Commerce campaign to unseat Mississippi Supreme Court Justice Oliver Diaz, a tort reform opponent. After Diaz prevailed in his re-election campaign in spite of the multi-million dollar opposition campaign, business interests had him indicted for campaign fraud. A month after his acquittal, he was indicted for tax fraud; a jury took fifteen minutes to exonerate him. However, while those cases were pending, Diaz was recused from the bench, thus achieving corporate interests to “remove” justices who stood in the way of tort reform. 8. The American President, written by “West Wing” creator Aaron Sorkin. This winsome 1995 film stars Michael Douglas as a president so worried about his re-election he sells out his beau, an environmental lobbyist played by Annette Bening. Best line: Says the betrayed Bening, “Mr. President, you’ve got bigger problems than losing me. You just lost my vote.” [Disclosure: This film has a special place in my heart because it features actress Wendie Malick, who taped a robo-call for my campaign.] 9. The Contender is Joan Allen, a US Senator who is nominated for vice president. While this 2000 film isn’t about elections, per se, it is about “swiftboating” at its worst. After the senator is nominated, her main po-

litical opponent plants rumors about her private life and past, including innuendos that she’d been a prostitute. Although the rumors are blatant lies, she refuses to acknowledge them. Best line, spoken by the maligned senator: “Principles only mean something when you stick to them when it’s inconvenient.” 10. While Wag the Dog, Canadian Bacon and Fair Game could tie for plots that describe campaigns by presidential administrations to wage war (the first two are fictitious, the last is based on the Bush Administration’s proven “outing” of deep-cover CIA operative Valerie Plame, played by Naomi Watts), I’m reserving this spot for the recently released Ides of March starring George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ryan Gosling. Looks intriguing! *** (Ed. Note: For thirty years, Kelly Hayes-Raitt worked on dozens of campaigns in California before running for office herself, experiences she escapes through celluloid therapy and blogging at www.PeacePATHFoundation.org. Her forthcoming journalistic memoir Living Large in Limbo: How I Found Myself Among the World’s Forgotten chronicles her campaign travails.)

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Hairy Tales From Italy By Bob Tennison

bout fifty years ago British television took the right approach in that the one station at that time was BBC and the other station was all commercials only. Sadly, we here have come so far from that concept that one hour program is about forty minutes story and twenty minutes commercials, some being repeated so many times that they have been memorized. Many of these seem to be directed to women who are led to believe that underarm hair is all but punishable by law. The ones advertising Lady Speed Stick are by far the most obnoxious, what with a female acrobat doing death defying stunts flying around on ropes attached to something invisible in the sky, finally falling atop her lover with one armpit over his nose for a gentle whiff and to show him that her armpit is baby bottom hairless.

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This brings ba b back ck memories off fi fifty fty years ago of being in a nightclub in Naples, Italy, where I went to see a famous chanteuse from Rome. She was wearing a beautiful low cut strapless evening gown ending her first round of songs, a la Hildegarde, by holding her long chiffon handkerchief high above her head revealing enough long black hair that could have been braided and tied in small bows or trimmed to stuff a pillow. Then on to the Isle of Capri where I was stretched out on the beach basking in the sun long before I heard about cancer and dozing off when I was awakened by two people loudly arguing. I glanced up and in my line of vision were two pairs of legs, two of which were so hairy I sat up immediately expecting to see the Wolf Man. The bickering was still going on and, much to my surprise, the hairy ones were those of a very attractive teenage girl, and those of her boyfriend were almost hairless. The final stop on this hairy tour was Rome. I was walking down the famous Via Veneto looking for a restaurant, when I came to an outdoor cafĂŠ built on three tiers. I was considering lunching there when I just happened to notice men walking very slowly to and fro gazing at something grabbing their attention. Looking to find the main attraction before entering, sitting on the third tier I saw a very obese woman sitting alone at a small table sipping a drink and obviously entertaining the male gawkers. She was wearing a very short skirt; hairy fat legs spread widely apart, no underwear in sight. I sat well away from her so as not to block the view for the looky-loos who continued to parade in front of the restaurant. No, that would in no way have been included in Lady Speed Stick commercials, but arm and leg hair might have made an interesting commercial for Gorilla Glue. By then, I was ready to return to the hotel and shave my entire body, including my head. Arrivederci, Roma.

PEPITO ASKS: DID YOU KNOW...? —That our website www.chapala.com is currently receiving over 9 million hits per month! —That all the ads and articles in our magazine also appear on our website! —That our magazine is all in color all the time! —That the Ojo has the largest Classified Section of any English-language publication in the entire state of Jalisco—and it’s FREE! —That our magazine’s enormously popular Web Board is the best way to find out what Lakesiders are thinking, saying and doing! The Board now has almost 10,000 members and has recorded almost 130,000 posts! —That the Ojo has many of the best writers and photographers in Mexico, several of whom have won major awards in Canada and the United States! —That the magazine was founded more than 25 years ago and has repeatedly won the “Best Lakeside Publication” conducted by El Mejor de Los Mejores. —That the Ojo prints many more copies each month and delivers to more places than any other English-language publication in Jalisco. —That our Editorial and Sales Staff is totally bilingual and anxious to help our Advertisers in whatever way possible to achieve the best possible results! Just thought you’d like to know. Gracias!

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A Metamorphosis By Margaret Van Every

though superior in the great chain of being humans expire no differently than roaches belly up, facing the light

gatha already has her right foot in the tub, well on her way to taking a shower, when her eye trips over a roach in the classic death pose lying near her left foot. It can’t be easy, weak and near death, she muses, to roll over like that if you’re built like a tank. It must be something they’ve learned from watching roaches who’ve gone before. She asks herself whether Lupita will think less of her if she leaves the roach there for her. She’ll be coming in a couple of days to clean. What the hell, it’s her job, says Agatha out loud, thereby strengthening her resolve. Why should Lupita be insulted if I leave her a roach? You might even say

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it’s in her job description. On the other hand, leaving it might be a bad reflection on me. What kind of person would not even dispose of their own defunct roach? It only involves bending over, scooping it up, and sending it to its last reward down the toilet. Agatha postpones the decision. She’s had planned to step into a relaxing shower when she just happened to notice this corpse on the floor. She can pretend not to have noticed it. Or pretend that it died sometime after the shower. In her state of undress it’s too far to walk to the utility room for a dustpan and broom. Nonetheless, she makes up her mind not to let Lupita find her out, how lazy she really is, how tolerant of filth. A roach on the floor, left there until Lupita stumbles on it, so to speak, in a state of partial decomposition— it could undermine her diligence in cleaning the house. Agatha resolves to do what she has to do, but after the shower. And so at last she lifts that left foot into the tub to join its mate. She

luxuriates in the pulse of water on her skin and lathers up her silver hair, soap running down her face. At that very moment, she is certain she feels hairy, scratchy roach feet scurry up her ankle and calf and then pause as its command center waves its antennae and strategizes where to go next. The problem is that she can’t see it because shampoo is in her eyes, which she is trying to wash out with the left hand while swatting at her calf with her right. She’s aware these jerky motions may cause her to slip in the tub and fracture her brittle bones, and that could ultimately lead to her death. She’s read about women who slip in the tub, break their hip or pelvis, and have to lie there on their back for hours, maybe days, until someone comes looking for them. Meanwhile, the shower keeps running and hot water turns to cold. Agatha shivers to contemplate the potential havoc caused by a single roach. When she can finally open her eyes, she is astonished and maybe even dismayed to find no roach in the tub. She peers over the side of the tub and there it is where she left it, rigor mortis having set safely in. What could ever have made me believe a roach was running up my leg, she asks herself, and yet the sensation of running roach feet was unmistakable. Agatha remembers having had repetitive roach delusions in college and cramming for final exams. Her eyes would be focused on the book when suddenly a roach zipped across the floor, daring her to drop everything and step on it. She saw it out of the corner of her eye, but when she snapped her head around to get a really good look, it was gone. Now, after all these years and far more intimately, the phantom roach had returned, daring to actually touch her. And even though its brain was small, the phantom roach was a mastermind of psychological torture. This time it stopped at the knee, but what if . . . ? Lacking language, perhaps the roach was only trying to get her attention, she rationalizes, begging for proper disposal. But what would that consist of? Was the wastebasket good enough? What about flushing? Torching? Agatha reminds herself that while primates took millions of years to evolve, roaches were near perfect from the start. She imagines the Sistine Chapel with the power-charged finger of God stretched toward an antenna, and with that she is transformed with new respect. She pulls herself together, dries off, and gets dressed, allowing herself only positive thoughts and visualizing the task successfully accomplished. Plucking a single snow-white

winding sheet from the Kleenex box, Agatha stoops to her task. As she begins to enfold the corpse tenderly in its shroud, she sees the legs start moving. Not feebly, like you’d expect of something in the throes of death, but frantically like they’re running the 100-yard dash upside down and in mid-air. The antennae are rotating, too, picking up vibes, assessing the terrain. This roach has revived after a good nap, leaving Agatha all over again not knowing what to do, for she doesn’t have it in her to step on a living, perfectly functional roach. She walks away. Only two days remain before Lupita will scoop it

up without a second thought. Tuesday morning arrives and Agatha goes to check on her roach, but the body is nowhere to be seen. She scans the floor. Did her playful friend scoot to some other part of the bathroom, propelling himself with a scratchy foot? Her search is interrupted by something like a cosmic snicker booming Foolish crone! The one you seek is NOT HERE! Frantically her eyes comb every inch of the tiles until the mystery is revealed. Over there by the commode, a tiny ant on a mission is shouldering, like the scythe of the Grim Reaper, a shiny black leg.

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VILLAGE VIGNETTES/MAGICAL MOMENTS By Micki Wendt

till in their crisp, white kindergarten uniforms, two young girls are playing out in front of their house, when a certain cowboy, a well-known local character, casually rides up to the girls to give them a better look at his horse. Beside themselves with excitement but with great trepidation, they tip-toe up to the horse and then touch it, immediately recoiling, shrieking and squealing with an equal mixture of fright and delight… again... and again. I stop and smile. Same said character was spotted riding his horse halfway into the Chameleon Bar. Their resident dog, a seemingly hermaphrodite Wiemerainer, wasn’t having it. A certain Very Fashionable Lady was spotted “chewing her gingham” at a recent gala charity dinner. A gaggle of handsome teenage boys comes running my way on the cobblestone street, racing like track stars, all the while pelting each other with overripe fruit and laughing, laughing, laughing at the joy of it all. With explosively cheerful energy, the exuberantly talented drummer boy down the street plays his upside-down paint buckets with cut up broomsticks, using a rickety old metal folding chair for a cymbal, while belting out some tune at the top of his lungs - OK, a tad off-key, but with all the gusto of a drunken cantina singer. I smile as I pass by, easily picturing him one day soloing with a major banda in an arena in front of 50,000 people. One day at the tianguis, the open air market, where I buy most of my food for the week, I heard the highpitched Mexican grito, usually saved for occasions involving tequila So, I asked the vegetable vendor (with his handsome son who looks like an Aztec sculpture) what was happening. A fiesta? Is he drunk? The vendor told me, no, it’s just alegria - the spirit of good cheer, which is just in the air here - a deep part of the preHispanic culture, a deep tradition of

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Ajijic, itself…I know it’s not a European thing. Three little boys are playing in front of their house - one has a little plastic flute from kindergarten and the other two are drumming with scraps of metal found nearby, sounding remarkably pre-Hispanic. I said to them, “You are little musicians. If you practice, practice, practice, you can become real musicians.” Later I’m returning, and two of the little boys are still out there. I ask them where their instruments are. One, who was busy eating something, springs up and very animatedly mimics a stand-up bass player, singing “dum, dum, dum…”, while laughing with his mouth full of food, visible between his missing two front teeth…a tad gross, but endearing. An ancient couple with familiar faces walked past me as I was chatting with someone on the corner of the Plaza. We exchanged “buenas tardes.” Later they passed the church as a wedding party was leaving and the bells were pealing, holding hands - neither one using a cane - smiling and gazing into each other’s eyes as though they were still love-struck teenagers. At the crowded Christmas Eve Mass, I slip into the very last pew with one space remaining next to me. One of the priests kneels down beside me to say his preparatory prayers. He looks a lot like my ex boyfriend. A group of participants in the San Andres Fiesta allegorical float procession was sitting around Calle Galeana behind the church waiting for the procession to start. The town banda was warming up a little as the padre came out to bless the floats. A female horn player pulled her cell phone out of her amply filled low-cut blouse to take a call. My water delivery guy brings me a single, perfect rose. My friend’s water delivery guy speaks to her of matters of the heart. And so goes the daily, delightful minutiae of life in Ajijic.

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The Poets’ Niche By Mark Sconce msconce@gmail.com

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)

or those sensitive Readers who yearn for a friendly verse, of poetic rhyme, of piquant turn of phrase, of unmuddled message and salubrious rhythm—a cousin to the Rhythm that pervades our cosmos and even our lives on planet Earth. For those befuddled Readers who squirm when reading a modern poet, a modern like, say, Federico Garcia Lorca, (1898-1936) Spain’s poet rage of a generation. With a spoon he scooped out the eyes of crocodiles And spanked the monkeys on their bottoms. With a spoon. Fire of all times slept in the flints and the beetles drunk with anis Forgot the moss of the villages. Tr. Stephen Spender y J.L. Gili For those bewildered Readers, I have just the anodyne poet. His works are all but lost to modern memories except yours and mine. Let us praise once more then, before he fades into star dust, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. What a life, what a man! A son of Massachusetts, but a graduate of Bowdoin College in Maine, he went on to become a popular professor at Harvard and an Honorary Doctorate of Laws. He was clearly the most popular poet of his time and was hailed around the world as America’s first great poet. With such poems as The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere, The Song of Hiawatha, Evangeline, The Wreck of the Hesperus, he engaged the imagination of a generation both before and after the Civil War. Column space permits just a few stanzas. Forget for a moment the jangle, din and shrieks of discordant modern life. From the brow of Hiawatha Gone was every trace of sorrow, As the fog from off the water, As the mist from off the meadow. With a smile of joy and triumph, With a look of exultation, As of one who in a vision Sees what is to be, but is not, Stood and waited Hiawatha. *** You know the rest. In the books you have read, How the British Regulars fired and fled,-How the farmers gave them ball for ball, From behind each fence and farm-yard wall, Chasing the red-coats down the lane, Then crossing the fields to emerge again Under the trees at the turn of the road, And only pausing to fire and load. *** It was the schooner Hesperus that sailed the wintry sea; And the skipper had taken his little daughter to bear him company. He wrapped her warm in his seaman’s coat against the stinging blast; He cut a rope from a broken spar and bound her to the mast. At daybreak, on the bleak sea-beach, a fisherman stood aghast, To see the form of a maiden fair lashed close to a drifting mast. When’s the last time you read the words “wealthy poet.” Almost seems like a contradiction in terms. Yet at his height, Long fellow could fetch $3,000 per poem! And at his death, he had over $350,000 in the bank, a tidy sum in those days following

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the Civil War. Then from each black accursed mouth The cannon thundered in the South, And with the sound the carols drowned Of peace on earth, good-will to men! And in despair I bowed my head; “There is no peace on earth,” I said; “For hate is strong, and mocks the song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!” Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: “God is not dead; nor doth he sleep! The Wrong shall fail, the Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men!” Mark Sconce

NOW, YOU TAKE MY WIFE—PLEASE!

ome people have a habit of telling occasional lies, either little white lies to spare the feelings of others, or bigger lies in the interests of self preservation. Not my wife. She could never tell a lie even to save her life, or more to the point, mine. The other evening we were returning from a night out and it was only as we turned the corner toward our house that I noticed the flashing red light in my rearview mirror. I braked to a stop and waited as the policeman approached. “Can I please see your license and registration, Sir,” he asked. “Well, just what is the problem, officer?” I inquired. “You were speeding in a residential zone, sir. I am going to have to give you a ticket.” “What!” I exclaimed. “There is no way I was speeding. I have lived in this neighbourhood for over ten years and I know what the speed limit is.” At this point my dear wife decided it was time to render an opinion. “Dear, you know you were going too fast. How many times have I told you to slow down in this area?” Undaunted, I gave her a withering look and told her in no uncertain terms that she should keep her opinions to herself. At which point

the policeman spoke again. “And I notice, sir, that you are not wearing a seat belt. I will have to ticket you for that as well.” “What are you talking about!” I sputtered. “I was wearing a seat belt until you pulled me over.” Once more my wife, ever helpful, ventured another comment. “You know, dear, you should be truthful with this officer. You did not have your seatbelt on. How many times have I told you that you should always wear your seatbelt?” Before I could get control, the expletives were flying like darts in the direction of my loving spouse as I tried to calculate the cost of the infractions I now faced. Suddenly the policeman walked around to the other side of the car and speaking directly to my wife, inquired: “Does your husband always speak to you in this fashion?” “Oh, no, Officer. Only when he’s been drinking!” They finally released me in the morning.

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THE T H E FACE FAC CE O OF F FEAR FEAR R – A True Trr ue Story Stt orr y By Terry Angela Cook

route for climbing, the rock wall of a mountain, is referred to as a “face.” I was a climber. Those eight years or so that I did technical climbing were exhilarating years, testing years, breathless years—but not fearless ones. I was living in Spokane, Washington in the Sixties. Washington State is home to The Mountain Boys School. Unfortunately, I was not a part of this school—in the 60s, boys were in boys’ groups and girls were in girls’ groups. However, my destined path overcame that 60s hurdle: two of the Mountain Boys’ instructors were good friends of mine, teaching me to climb in spite of my gender. There is a face in central Washington that is particularly challenging. It is close to the highway and I passed it occasionally on my way to Seattle. My climbing friends and I talked about it many times as my next challenge, and I was itchin’ to climb. A few weeks later, it was on this 1000’ wall that I first knew panic. I had climbed other mountains that were higher, in Canada even a “Fourteener” (climbing lingo for a 14,000’ mountain) but none as steep. The difference is that a mountain is the total mass, and faces are walls on that mass. That Fourteener was a trek all right, and we were even hit by a small avalanche— but it was a walk in the park compared to this piece of granite. It left me breathless. Straight up and down it is, with overhangs. When climbing, I need to know that face intimately. I talk to climbers who have been on it. I study route maps. I memorize. The morning of the climb, I stand in front of the face and rework the routes in my mind. The dazzling pyrite spots in the rock, the small vegetation courageously holding its own in an inch of soil; these I will see with every move, with every breath. Granite is treacherous, especially when wet. Climbing on granite when dry, plays on your nerves; climbing on granite when wet calls up your courage. Fortunately, the day we gathered there for my inaugural assault was beautiful blue skies, and little wind. The granite was dry.

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Angela & Partner Howard

Howard, one of my technical climbing teachers, is my partner today. I’ve climbed with others; I much prefer Howard as a partner, both because he is my teacher, and because of his steady and confident personality. Plus he’s a darn good climber. I’m a novice and this is certainly no free climb. As my partner, Howard and I are roped together from when the first (Howard) steps up, to when the second (me) is completely and wholly over the top and “Off belay. Howard will go ahead of me and will keep me on belay. He’s my mainstay, my solidarity, my safety net, my savior; should I slip or fall his ropes will stop me. “Are you ready?” says Howard, putting his fist against my upper arm. My heart races. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” I grin back. We rope up and Howard begins the climb. I check my harness, helmet, all the clanging paraphernalia around my torso and thighs; I chalk up my hands, place my fingers on small ledges at a comfortable height above my head, rest my left foot easily. When I see Howard about 20’ above me, he places a piton, seats the rope in a carabiner on it, rests, and hollers “On belay!” There’s my cue; I take a deep breath then lift, pushing up easily with my thighs. In the beginning it seems my eyes are doing most of the work, scanning every inch for the next hold. It’s important to hold my weight with the strength of my feet and leg muscles, not with my fingers. Yet I must pull with my fingers. Carefully I move one hand, grabbing a “hold” with fingertips, moving one knee or foot to a small one inch ledge, pushing up with thigh muscles. With my nose just inches from the rock, I’m searching for a place to move the next hand, as though it is not my own, but a tool. Higher. Don’t look down. Study the face. Study the sequence of the holds and ledges; remember the route on the

map. H-o-l-d by h-o-l-d. Jam. Move. Pull. Lift. Now breathe. I see a small beetle near my shoulder. He and I are nearly 800’ above the ground. He certainly could get out of any jams up here a helluva lot easier than I could. (With hindsight, was this the thought that did me in?) Look up towards the sky; now just a hundred feet more. Howard is going over the top! He made it! Uh oh. A knot in the pit of my stomach. Breathe. Acid rising into my throat. I barely notice Howard making soft, supportive calls to me. How long have I been paralyzed here? “You can do it.” “A little to the left.” “Use your legs.” I’m frozen. Nothing will move. I can’t speak. My mind is possessed. Howard looks like a curious version of the Cheshire Cat grinning down at me. My face, my neck, my hands, the back of my knees are cold and clammy. When I think about moving my hand or foot, I grit my teeth and swallow a muffled scream. Purple and green blotches of light explode in front of my eyes. I’m gonna be sick! No I can’t. I just want to go down. No I can’t. I must go up. I can’t! I can’t! I’m tired—really, really tired. Don’t go there. Maybe a drink of water. I don’t want to let my hand go to grab

the canteen. J-u-s-t move! Howard is calling again. I manage to move a hand, a foot and I’m now on a ledge a little wider than three inches. How long has it been? I can’t think about time; I can’t think about down or up. I can only think about R hand, L hand, R foot, L foot. Look at the face, at the holds. Jam. Lift. I’m crawling again, ever so slowly. Tears of fear running down my face and neck are mingling with the sweat. Howard sounds closer now. I’m afraid to look up. My hands are scratched and stinging. Jam that foot. Burning thigh muscles about to give out. Lift. And then…there’s a guiding hand grabbing my wrist! Look up; the final ledge just barely above my head! A curious juxtaposition of joy and fear, chills and shivers ripple over me. Blue sky. I’m gasping. Careful; I’m still on belay. I hoist my knee up over the ledge. I’m on flat ground! Howard has backed off about 10’ to stay the ropes and to give me room. I roll over on my back and stare at the sky: a dreamy, movie-like collage of clouds, sun and sky. Exhilaration bursts through exhaustion. Relief. Wonder and awe! The Face and the Fear conquered, as ephemeral as the clouds floating above.

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Focus on Art By Rob Mohr robmohr@gmail.com Soul’s Delight: Contemplation of a Painting

*All paintings mentioned in this article may be seen on this Focus on Art web link. https://picasaweb.google. com/robmohr/FocusOnArtFebuary201 2?authkey=Gv1sRgCIi429qQ9vry6AE

ontemplation of a fine painting, like enjoying a nuanced wine, entails exploration of a created world filled with savor, emotion, contrast, and mystery which, in turn, foment challenges and satisfy our senses.

Since humans painted on cave walls, fine arts have served as a primary release for human creativity. Classical, Renaissance and other art movements have acted as catalyst for the human imagination to shape the world we live in. This transformative power of art is pervasive in all cultures, yet we often treat paintings as mere decoration rather than the result of a creative act which has the power to transform human life. Contemplation distinguishes us as

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human. This is especially true when we contemplate objects humans created. Consider your last trip to a museum. Yet today’s casual approach to art coupled with the exercise of unstructured taste, negate the pleasure, adventure, and discovery that happen when we take a painting seriously. Seeing a 200,000,000 dollar painting by Jackson Pollock, many said, without understanding, “Just spilt paint, a monkey could do that.” Given such cultural limitations, how might you begin to take pleasure in meditative contemplation of serious works of art? The aesthetic understandings of philosopher Emmanuel Kant (1724-1804) should help. “Beauty is the form of finality in fine art - the thing itself …” This truth led Kant to insist that a work of art must be judged for what it is and not what it may refer to. For example, in Matisse’s painting Woman With a Hat, we may miss enjoying the

painting by thinking, ‘this is not like a real woman.’ (photo) Kant understood that all initial judgments should be based on one’s pleasure when impartially contemplating a painting. Kant’s seminal understanding opened the door to expressionism, impressionism, abstract impressionism, and the other artistic movements of the last three centuries. Following Kant’s lead, Jackson Pollock’s “Painting,” seen for itself, becomes a painting whose subject is paint. Pollock danced around and over his works imparting his emotions, psychic state, and movements onto the painting. This was not a new discovery. Paint as paint played a major role in Rembrandt’s Self Portrait, and Lucian Freud’s Large Interior where paint with its inherent qualities magically transmuted substances within the painting into old skin, blemishes, shadows, dirt on the walls, scarred surfaces and worn clothes. In 1902 Matisse’s unforgettable Woman With a Hat also glorified the qualities of paint and color. The stunning result foreshadowed Abstract Expressionism which flourished in New York during the 1950s. Contemplation and disinterested seeing of paintings for what they are sets the imagination free to savor the art object. Over time this approach develops your ability to appreciate fine art and ultimately your critical judgment, which further enriches your enjoyment. Honed critical seeing should include observing the quality and variety of line, nuances of color, how one enters a painting and moves about within the painting, the “push/pull” into and out of the painting, the role the four edges, texture and pattern, and if objects in the painting are integrated with the other elements - all seldom considered by most viewers. Try contemplating The Scream by Munch, rich in emotional content, or Hans Hofmann’s Magenta and Blue (photo) where abstract colored forms push and pull through the surface, instigating a metaphorical voyage filled with stimulating juxtapositions. Hofmann understood that art is about conflict and contrast and the conjunctions, unifications, and syntheses of dissimilar, opposing elements. Rob Mohr

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Letter to the Editor Dear Sir: (To Al Trottier, whose letter was published in the January issue.) It is you who need to check your claimed facts, Al. I challenge you to offer evidence of any “murders” involving members of the Occupy Wall Street movement. A person was killed in an incident in Zucotti Park while it was occupied, but neither victim nor perpetrator were Occupiers. The falsehood that the murder was related to the Occupiers was promulgated by Fox (aka Fix) News, just one example of the proven lies that it routinely broadcasts. There were sexual assaults in Zucotti Park, one of them committed by a person with outstanding warrants for previous offenses. Criminals may be present in groups of people assembled in public spaces, but that cannot be blamed on the organizers. Can the Tea Party guarantee that assemblages it calls include only lawabiding citizens? Some members of the Tea Party have made threats of violence against the president of the U.S., but I doubt that you ascribe that to their membership, and Fix News, a principal sponsor of the Tea Party, certainly does not do so. The non-violence to which the Occupiers have been committed has been demonstrated in videos of police assaults on them that anyone can view. I challenge you to offer evidence of any violence committed by Occupiers. I fear that I lack the fortitude to remain nonviolent in the face of the government-sanctioned violence perpetrated against them.

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Sanitary conditions have certainly been difficult in Zucotti Park and other places occupied, but objective, non-partisan assessments of these conditions have indicated that the Occupiers have done the best they could with the resources available to them. If a Tea Party “rabble,” to use your term, had occupied the Park, the government of, by, and for the 1% would have rushed to provide Porta-Johns. Your ambiguous statement that Fix News “is consistently at the top of the ratings when compared to the other main stream media outlets” only means that it has more viewers, not that it is rated more highly by any objective, non-partisan source with respect to the accuracy or quality of the information that it broadcasts. I challenge you to offer any evidence to the contrary. Fix News’ high viewership is, however, correlated with the woeful misinformation that objective surveys have found most Americans to possess. As an apparent devotee of Fix News, you, along with Carol Bowman and Ernie Sowers, may be unaware of the demonstrated lack of journalistic ethics evidenced by its owner, Rupert Murdoch, who controls its editorial content, and you may not have seen the film, Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch’s War on Journalism. I am planning to be in Washington, D.C. in March to attend the Reason Rally that will advocate stopping the movement of the U.S. toward becoming a fundamentalist Christian theocracy, a movement fomented by broadcasters on Fix News. I intend to visit the Occupiers in McPherson Square to demonstrate that some octogenarians like me, though unable to participate physically in the movement, do support it. In my opinion, the Occupy movement is the only force effectively opposing the U.S. becoming a full-fledged, overtly racist, antigay, anti-immigrant (especially antiMexican immigrant), anti-Muslim, dog-eat-dog, theocratic plutocracy. Ken Crosby Riberas del Pilar

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FRONT ROW CENTER By Michael Warren How The Other Half Loves By Alan Ayckbourn Directed by Dave McIntosh

rilliant! How The Other Half Loves is one of the best shows I have seen on the LLT stage. It’s a tour de force of theater which requires perfect timing and pace, and this cast delivers a truly stunning performance. There are two scenes simultaneously on the stage, and the action and dialogue crosses and re-crosses between them. The blocking and movement are amazing, and as the farce unfolds there are multiple misunderstandings and crazy telephone calls between the two scenes. The whole thing is tremendously entertaining. Three couples are involved – “Frank and Fiona Foster,”“Bob and Teresa Phillips,” and “William and Mary Detweiler.” Frank employs both Bob and William and is considering promoting the latter. Apart from the differences in income, the three couples are illustrative of different behaviors according to age and social status. Dave McIntosh has an excellent cast, who bring out these subtle differences with great skill. Roger Larson is wonderfully absent-minded as Frank, while Kathleen Carlson (a newcomer to the LLT stage) is smooth and charming as his wife Fiona. Fiona is having an affair with Bob Phillips, and in order to explain to Frank why she stayed out so late last night she indicates that she was comforting Mary Detweiler who apparently believes that William is having an extramarital affair. Bob and Teresa Phillips are very well played by Russell Mack and Collette Clavadetscher. In contrast to the polite, distant and evasive relationship between Frank and Fiona, the Phillips’ home life is stormy and suspicious. Bob is an inconsiderate bully, and Teresa feels that Bob is neglecting her while she raises their baby. Also she wonders about mysterious phone calls made to their house, and when she confronts Bob he lies that he has been comforting work associate William who believes his wife Mary is having an affair. The hapless and totally innocent Detweilers are invited to dinner, first at the Foster mansion, and the following evening at the Phillips’ noisier

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and cheaper residence. These two dinner parties are enacted simultaneously on stage, and everyone tries to be polite while various social disasters take place. This scene is very clever and extremely funny. Peter Luciano (another newcomer to the LLT stage) performs well in his role as the ambitious and sometimes pompous William, and Daphne Peerless is excellent as his nervous wife Mary. The second Act is slightly less complicated than the first, as the various lies and schemes begin to unravel. With matters totally confused, at least in Frank’s mind, he summons everyone to his house in order to clear the air. He doesn’t exactly succeed, but they do realize that William has falsely accused his wife. In an amusing and also touching moment, he is forced to apologize to Mary – or as close as he can come to an apology. Finally, Fiona admits to Frank that she has had a casual affair, but manages not to reveal with whom. The play’s attitude to marriage is summed up by Frank who says “Well, it’s better than nothing.” The acting and delivery of this ingenious play was first class. I congratulate director Dave McIntosh on successfully pulling off a theatrical conjuring trick. The pace was fast and furious, and all the actors were really living their parts. I saw the play twice, and it was wonderful both times. Many thanks to all involved, both onstage and backstage. Ann Swiston was Assistant Director, Cindy Hitchcock was Stage Manager and Candace Luciano was Assistant Stage Manager. The musical this year is “A Taste of Broadway” which opens at the end of February. My review will not make it to print until the beginning of April, so next month I will give you a nostalgic overview of the LLT musicals over the last 10 years. Michael Warren

NIFTY ONE-LINERS •

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aving children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. If you’re in hell with someone, and you’re still mad at them, where do you tell them to go? I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. My ex-wife says that she will dance on my grave. I’ve now arranged to be buried at sea. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons? You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. Some folks are so eager to find fault, you’d think there’s a reward. Life is like a doughnut. You’re either

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in the d dough ough or in the h hole hole. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. I wish my mouth had a backspace key. I saw a bald eagle the other day. All of its feathers were combed over to one side. For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble. Sometimes I just can’t prevent clean thoughts from entering my mind. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some four-letter words to convey its full meaning. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. When life seems like an uphill climb, take comfort in the fact that you’re mooning everyone behind you.

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STAY HEALTHY! By J. Manuel Cordova, M. D. Internal Medicine & Geriatric Specialist Mdjmcordova1204@yahoo.com Physical Changes In Aging Epilogue

HANGES IN EYESIGHT: Like the rest of your body, your eyes age. As a result, they become less “elastic.” This kind of change most often affects the lens, resulting in difficulty in focusing on nearby objects (presbyopia). If you don`t need glasses at least some of the time after age around 65, you are just the exception. When changes in vision capacity become more pronounced, something other than normal aging is frequently at work. GLAUCOMA, the buildup of fluid within the eyeball to an abnormally high pressure, narrows the field of vision and can lead to blindness if not diagnosed and treated appropriately. Most people do not have symptoms, though occasionally patients with glaucoma have pain or redness of the eyes and see colorful halos around lights. About 3-5 % of people older than 65 have glaucoma, and it is a real health public problem because after diabetes it is the second cause of preventive blindness in the world, but the diagnosis need to be on time. CATARACTS: (Clouding of the lens) blur the field of vision, may cause double vision, and typically create problems in night driving. Cataracts are a major cause of vision loss worldwide: Almost 22 Million people are blind because of the condition. In Canada and U.S around one and a half million cataract operations are performed each year. Many people find the idea of cataracts alarming assuming that if they develop them they will become blind. In truth, however, cataracts are one of the least serious eye disorders because surgery can restore lost sight in most instances. MACULAR DEGENERATION: caused by a diminished blood supply to the macula (the center of the vision area) and combination of toxicity chemical process, can affect reading acuity and visual sharpness. These illnesses can affect one or both eyes. Because they generally come on gradually and are usually painless, they often are mistaken for the normal effects of aging on the eyes. How Serious is Failing Eyesight?

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The moderate degree of eyesight failure that is normal to aging is not serious and can be corrected with eyeglasses. Cataracts and diseases of the eyes are serious because they have the potential for significant loss of vision and results in major injuries, for example, falls and others foreseeable accidents. Cataracts and glaucoma usually can be treated. Macular degeneration is sometimes treated with laser therapy, although the results often are disappointing; recently other therapeutic resources are coming through chelation therapy, with certain benefits to some patients. What Can Be Done? Many low vision-aids are available. Finding one that`s right for you can take some trial and error, so be patient. Here is a list of just some of the devices that are available: Good lighting. As you grow older, you need more light, whether you have vision problems or not . A flexible light, such as a gooseneck lamp, can direct illumination onto your reading or work area. Special Eyeglasses: Bifocal, or trifocal glasses (under medical prescription) that are stronger than normal may help. Also high-power, prismatic “half-eye” reading glasses are available. Magnifiers. Magnification devices come in many styles. Mounted on a headband or your glasses, or even worn around your neck. Easy to See: Practical Items: everything from magnifiers to items such as clocks, telephones, playing cards that have extra-large letters or numbers, and large-size game boards is available from mail-order catalogs and internet stores. Telescopes: Can help you with distance viewing. H i g h -Te c h Systems. With the new emergent technology, video systems and implants are a reality, although expensive. Dr. Cordova D C d

MY MOST OST E EMBARRASSING BARRASS NG GM MOMENT OMENT By Ardelle rde elle Holden elle Ho Hold olden

hen my children were teenagers, I frequently operated on auto-pilot. Get up, get dressed, go to work, come home, make meals, do the laundry, go to sleep. I avoided shopping trips until absolutely necessary, and when I did ran out to the mall; I really didn’t look in the mirror before I dashed out the door. On one occasion, I caught a glimpse of myself in a storefront window as I made a beeline toward my objective. Who is that frumpy woman? I thought. She looks like a bag lady. You’d think she’d take a little more pride in her appearance. All this, before I noticed we moved in sync. I made a mental note to take a little more care with my appearance the next time I ventured out of the house. The “next time” happened to be a Christmas shopping outing. I donned my red coat, my red fedora, my black boots, my black bag and my black gloves. You see where this is going? As I entered the mall, Christmas music, merry voices, happy faces, shuffling feet, and twinkling lights were a sea of Christmas spirit washing over me. I walked unhurriedly down the mall, pausing to look at the wonderful window displays enticing patrons to enter. I noticed my reflection, and smiled to myself as I thought how well my image fit right in with the window display. When I passed Santa’s workshop, he was sitting alone on his throne with an empty lap. I looked at him and smiled. He winked and smiled back, “Come sit

on my knee Mrs. Claus.” I blushed and grinned, but hurried on my way. After freshening up in the washroom, I began my shopping in earnest. Halfway down the mall, I stopped to consider if the display garment in this window was suitable for someone on my list. As I stood there, deep in thought, I again caught my reflection in the window. I gave a big sigh and smugly thought to myself how sharp and seasonably festive I looked today. There was a tap on my shoulder, and I turned to see a very handsome gentleman smiling down at me with a very apologetic look on his face. “Excuse me, madam, but you have something stuck to your heel,” he said and, not waiting for a thank-you from me, he quickly turned and was gone. I looked down and saw, to my horror, that I was dragging a long, long, long, long, long strip of pristine, glaring white toilet paper down the mall. My head spun like an owl’s to see how many other people had noticed. At the same time, I was frantically scraping the offending item from my heel. I raised my shoulders, lowered my head and skulked to the nearest exit as fast as I my little legs would carry me, with a face as red as my hat, leaving the behind evidence behind. Hmmmm? In hindsight, at least it wasn’t caught in my waistband! Ho. Ho. Ho….

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The World’s Greatest Lover By Neil McKinnon cKinnon

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d.. d N Note: ote: ot e e: T he fo ffollowollow wThe ng iss a n ex xing an exm N eill McKei cerpt from Neil atestt b ook,, innon’s latest book, The World’s Greatest Lover.) To begin, women must understand that there are only three types of men: deadbeats, philanderers and lowlifes. Today, I will describe the philanderer. This gentleman may be identified by his unique odor, an enticing mixture of after-shave and grease, tainted by a faint whiff of the psychological glue that he uses to stick

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hiim himself h to unsuspecti g women, much like in ing s su summer bluebottles at at attach themselves to flypaper. He has been in and out of more relationships than Lothario, Casanova and Don Juan combined. In the beginning, the philanderer is considerate and accommodating. He basks in the lady’s beauty. He revels in her conversation. But all the time his eyes are peering back at the husband of the one he’s just left and forward to the future as he sniffs out his next dalliance. The reason he’s enthralled with her is that he’s enthralled with ev-

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erybody. He’s a loving lunatic—his stamina is amazing. He can’t stay away. He’s here. He’s there. No, he’s back here. He’s everywhere. He’s ready to go again ... and again. His horizons have expanded, from high school where he nursed an intense desire to nuzzle every girl in his class, to university where his aspirations grew to encompass the entire female half of his faculty. Eventually, his ambition knew so few bounds that he secretly craved to populate a complete state or province. He is an expert at bedroom multitasking and is restricted by few technical limitations. For an example of the havoc wreaked by the philanderer we need look no further than the tragic story of Sarah B., a deeply religious girl who thought her chance meeting and subsequent affair with Desmond, a some-time ski instructor and sweet-talking alley cat, was her ticket away from her stuffy liberal parents who did not subscribe to her right-wing religious philosophy and who constantly encouraged her to lighten up. Sarah met Desmond at a fundamentalist revival meeting where she had gone to seek solace after her parents had presented her with a membership in a radical animal rights group as a gift for her twenty-first birthday. Desmond attended the revival because longago he had discovered that at this venue, dressed in a beard, sandals and flowing robe, seducing young women became as easy as ushering lambs to slaughter. Using equal amounts of sweettalk, charm, flattery and sympathy, as well as dashes of piety, sprinklings of biblical quotations and small chunks of prayer, Desmond penetrated Sarah’s awareness, entered her consciousness, broke through her perimeter, infiltrated her defenses, inserted himself into

her heart and finally, in what was his best time yet, he squirreled his way into her pants. At first Sarah felt guilty because she had broken a promise she had made to herself years before—to preserve all alterable pieces of her anatomy in a pristine state until her wedding night or until Judgment Day, whichever came first. But glib, sweet-talking Desmond soon convinced her that what they were doing—by then almost on an hourly basis—was, in reality, responding to a higher power. Once he had explained this, Sarah recognized their indiscretions as simple peccadilloes and soon she was able to immerse herself in trying to satisfy the quirky shifts in Desmond’s bedroom behavior, shifts she soon came to enjoy. After all, he looked exactly like a picture of Jesus and she knew that the whole sordid affair would drive her atheist parents crazy. All this might have worked out if Desmond had not been a philanderer. However monogamy is as foreign to philanderers as pork is to rabbis so, of course, he could not stay. The philanderer is trapped by his libertine nature. He must change partners as often as Prometheus changed livers ... and so it was that Sarah awoke one morning to find a note on the pillow where Desmond’s head should have been. The note explained that he had finally identified a place in the world, near barren of population but with just enough females of child-bearing age and indiscriminate nature, that he felt there was a chance he could fulfill his secret ambition. To that end, he was leaving immediately for Saskatchewan. Sarah was devastated but eventually recovered. Nowadays, she quickly exits from the company of any man who gets a wistful look whenever someone mentions Regina.

THE OJO INTERNET MAILBOX BOX (Wherein we publish some comments about our previous issues.)

MOVING TO ECUADOR Judy Boyd We’ll keep a light on for you. UNCOMMON COMMON SENSE - AUGUST 2011 Brian Sullivan Do you know who the writer is for Variety who made that statement? I have gone to the Variety archives and have not been able to find it. Is it possibly urban legend? Would love to see the actual article, please help.

Carlo When will the winner be announced? YOU MUST CLOSE THE DOOR AND MOVE ON Michael James Cook I would just like to thank you Rodger for the most meaningful and dynamic prose, poetry that I have read for along time. Write on my friend Michael James Cook.

INTEL 2012 LAKESIDE COMMUNITY AWARDS

The Tiger In The Grass By Harriet Doerr Book Review by Alice Hathaway

ometimes in Mexico, summer rain can be seen falling, all at one time, on isolated patches of the landscape. This is selective rain, wetting a chapel in one village, the train station in another, a long empty stretch of highway in another. When these contained showers are distinguished against the mesas, people say, “It is raining in sleeves.” A sleeve for Jesus Maria, a sleeve for Guadalupe de Atlas, a sleeve for every village and farm, if there is any sort of order at all under the skies.” Those words introduce a chapter of vivid memories in Harriet Doerr’s most recently published book, The Tiger in the Grass. Subtitled “Stories and Other lnventions,” it is a collection of autobiographical sketches, short stories and character vignettes. Unlike her earlier novels, which were both firmly set in rural Mexico, this anthology drifts from Southern California to Mexico City, Michoacan, Jalisco and back to the States. The stories go wherever her memories take her like the spotty, summer showers. The writing is fresh, spare and eloquent; there are no unnecessary words or convoluted sentences. Her characters are skillfully drawn and incisive, her descriptions clear. She is a talented writer, even at the age of 85.

I admire Harriet Doerr’s ability, yet I was disappointed in this book. It seemed a collection of odds and ends, possibly discarded chapters from the other books, bits taken from old diaries or letters to friends -enough, of this-and-that to fill two hundred pages. The strength of Stones For Ibarra and Consider This, Senora was their sense of place. Both novels were held together by their setting in a tight little community of people dependent on one another. It was this coherence of setting that I missed most in this book. So I suggest that you reread Stones For Ibarra and skip over The Tiger In the Grass.

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WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN: 2012 LAKESIDE COMMUNITY AWARDS By Tod Jonson

n 1987, under th the he auspices of El O Ojo jo o del Lago, an awards rd ds show was developed ed d while I was editor of the he magazine. Sr. Richard rd d Tingen, publisher of the magazine, thought it was time to honor the Ojo literary contributors. The first four or five years the awards were presented at the Lakeside Little Theatre. During the next few years, Chapala Mayor Lic. Raul Robles Puga asked if we would consider doing the awards in collaboration with the city, because it wanted to thank the community in the same way at City Hall. Sr. Tingen agreed to withdraw and we went another route. A standing committee of Lakeside’s concerned people was formed: Aurora Michel Galindo, Dan McTavish, the late-Richard Vath, Tod Jonson, the lateEktor Carranza, Joyce Vath, along with one revolving member of the press, and one revolving member from City Hall, drove the Awards forward. Annually the local press, i.e., The Guadalajara Reporter, El Ojo Del Lago, Lake Chapala Review, Pagina, and El Charal printed the announcement that nominations for that year were ready to be accepted from the public. From that list (with supporting bios, stating why one person/organization over another should be recognized), the committee went to work. Very few times has there ever been any dissention in the nominating and voting system. Dissention arose this year when a nominee opposed being in the same category with another person, and INTEL (as reported by email to the committee chair) withdrew its sponsorship—thus making it necessary to postpone the March 8, 2012 awards ceremony. The committee feels that since nominations came in from the public, they would like it to be known whom they felt deserved recognition. Note: The nominations come from the public, but the Committee chooses the winners, regardless of how many nominations might have come in for

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a particular p person or organization. n ni iza Following are our nominees, no o with the names in bold of the 2012 winners: ne e WOMAN OF THE YEAR: Cristina Flores, Moonyeen King, Lucille Van Straaten, Coralie White MAN OF THE YEAR: Father Alfred Arreola, Hank Shiver PROJECT OF THE YEAR: Employer’s Services, Lakeside Spay/Neuter Sterilization Center, Lakeside Science Fair Assoc. COUPLE OF THE YEAR: Herma and Paul Buckanan, Robert and Becky Plinke PIONEER OF THE YEAR: John Frost, Richard Williams KEEPER OF THE FLAME: LCS, Richard Williams, Octavio Mendoza Ruiz HUMANITARIAN OF YEAR: Paul & Herma Buchanan, Jackie Kullman, Arnie Mogseth, Tom Music CULTURAL ARTS ACHIEVEMENTS OF THE YEAR: Octivio Mendoza Ruez SPORTSWOMAN OF THE YEAR: Graciela Estrada SPORTSMAN OF THE YEAR: Tito Baustista EDUCATION OF THE YEAR: Voted ONLY on scholastic achievement by Jalisco’s Depart. Of Education TEACHER of THE YEAR: Garcia Ramirez Paulino Cassado, Jocotepec Prepa, electronics, Gersom Preciado Rodriguez. Jocotepec Prepa, Psychology MALE STUDENT OF THE YEAR: Arif Haider East-Raza Chavez, Chapala, Navarro Lopez Martin, CETAC, O’ Shea Olamedo Emiliano FEMALE STUDENT OF THE YEAR: Garcia Solano Liliana Cecilia, CETAC Ibarra Ibarra Mariana, Cetac, Paola Albertine East-Raza Chavez, Chapala, Biology LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD: Alejandro Grattan-Dominguez There will be no Lakeside Community Service Awards until the selection process is completed. The nominees that remain are subject to further investigation.

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The Ojo Crossword

ACROSS 1 Japanese city 6 Cycles per second 9 Ball player___Aaron 13 Taming of the ___ 14 Fear 15 Mount (2 wds.) 16 Humped animal 17 Environmental protection agency (abbr) 18 Irregular 19 Actor Alda 20 Murky 22 Bench 23 Pole 24 Colony insect 25 ___Major (Big Dipper) 27 Wed 29 Without age 33 Charm 34 Stretch to make do 35 Stair 36 Spanish coins 39 Yes 40 Capital of Bangladesh 41 Among 42 Genius 43 Physician 44 German measles 46 Sluggish 49 No longer for sale 50 Compass point 51 Extremely high frequency (abbr) 53 Electroencephalograph (abbr)

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56 Coloring 58 Bottom 59 Small bunch of flowers 61 Modern 62 Contradict 63 Truce 64 The other half of Jima 65 Heavy-set 66 Northeast by east 67 Crow’s call 68 “Ladies and ___” DOWN 1 Movie award 2 Islamic greeting 3 Fleet 4 Mentally alert 5 Hand tool 6 Snuck 7 Insect in a cocoon 8 Underwater earthquake 9 She 10 A spinning toy (2wds) 11 Smeller 12 Had known 15 Birds with webbed feet 20 Black gem 21 Suggest 24 Greek god of war 26 NE French region 28 Brand of frozen dough 30 And so forth 31 Part of a min. 32 Resort hotel 34 Hurricane center 36 Standard or average 37 Flightless bird 38 Sibling 39 Scholarly 40 Finished 42 Unite in alliance 43 Doorbell sound 45 Stick 47 Careener 48 Belief in a god 50 Endue 52 Runs away 53 Sports channel 54 Fencing sword 55 Collar 57 Midwestern state 58 Greek goddess of youth 60 Winter hazard 62 Lake

THE T HE A ANNIVERSARY NNIVERSARY By Robb Howard

“

avid please, I want to celebrate my anniversary,” Lori pleaded. “I want us to have a special time.” It was her fifth anniversary and it was the fourth anniversary of their meeting. Lori had met David when she was celebrating her first anniversary. She had taken herself out to a lavish dinner that she couldn’t afford. He was at the next table with two of his friends and he started talking to her about wine when he overheard her order a bottle of Silver Oak cabernet. Eight months later they were married. “Please honey, let’s go back to the Capitol Grill and celebrate.” “Lori, I love you but it’s not something I want to celebrate. If it was us we were celebrating, I’d be all for it. But, your anniversary is just that, your anniversary and I think you should be by yourself.” Lori left the room before David could see the tears welling up in her eyes. She knew David loved her, he showed it every day in so many ways. He was right, it was her anniversary, but she wanted him to share it with her. It hurt deep down inside when he said she should be alone. Since they had been together she never wanted to be alone. No one had

ever treated her so well or made her feel so loved. She just wanted to share this day with him. Lori calmed down, dried her eyes and reapplied her makeup. She walked into the family room and said to David, “Darling, please talk to me about how you feel. I know how much we love each other, I need to understand. You are the most important thing in my life and I want to feel everything you feel.” “OK,” said David sternly. “I love you! I married you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. No one has ever made me feel the way that you do. You are all I ever wanted in a woman, you satisfy me in every way possible. Now do you understand how I feel about you?” “Of course, Lori whispered. I feel the same about you. It’s what makes our relationship so special.” “Well, when I think about your anniversary, the pictures it brings to mind aren’t pleasant. In fact, they cause me so much pain I can’t bear it. I see what you were. I see you as Larry, with a penis and balls, and it makes me wonder how I can love you so much. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t help how I feel”

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A LI LIFE IFE M MEASURED EASURED IIN NS SNOWBALLS NOWBALLS S By Bonnie Phillips otterwomanwrites@yahoo.com

nowballs. It’s odd how commonplace things, things as simple as snowballs can conjure up long forgotten memories. As I write this I realize a lifetime can be measured in many ways; for me, it is measured in snowballs. Three weeks ago, in Mexico, where I now live, a local roasted chicken shop dumped its softened ice by the side of the main road and when I came upon this snow-cone mound I dropped my bags and scooped up handfuls of “snow,” packed them in tight balls and shared some of them with local kids and adults. I saved two to throw at walls on my way home. And I remembered my first snowball fights. The blackness of the night was spot-lighted by street lights that illuminated wind-blown confetti-snow. The fresh-fallen snow sparkled like granules of sugar. My hands were wet inside of the mittens and my cheeks numb and red with the nighttime cold of the small New England town; a town that echoed with the laughter of my parents, my brother, Larry, and I as we threw snowballs at each other or pushed each other into the snow on our mile-long walk to our friend’s house. Under the fresh covering of snow that fell on top of mountainous snow banks laid white, grey, black, and rock strewn bands of ice frozen in increments of time, unseen for months of the snow time only to be revealed, layer by layer, during the spring melt. Our ritual Saturday night adventures happened when my mother dated and then married my stepfather and our family of four lived in a tworoom apartment. We had no television, car, or luxuries of any kind. It was a time when my parents saved their pennies during the week to go across the street to the Yankie Grill on Friday night for one beer and a few minutes spent with friends and lively music. It was a time before we could afford to move into a larger apartment. Before we bought a television and a car. Before my brother and I were toted along every Friday and Saturday night to my parents’ friend’s poker games that went on long into the early morning hours. Six years later, snowballs tested

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my courage. I looked out our second story storm-window and saw Larry being pummeled with snowballs by several of the town’s biggest bullies. I flew down the outside stairwell and up the hill to my skinny brother’s rescue. In my haste, and with no forethought or planning, I jumped on the boy who was rubbing his face in snow as the others laughed and looked on. I had the satisfaction of seeing my brother running down the hill toward home while one bully straddled me and the other’s bombarded me with tightly packed ice balls. I wonder if my children will remember the times we drove to Willamette pass for the pleasure of making snowwomen and throwing snowballs. I’m sure they will remember when our New England cousins came to Oregon, in June, to visit us and my parents who were living on our land. Twelve of us drove to Crater Lake in a caravan of three cars and were surprised when we rounded a corner, near the summit, and found a thirty-degree angled slope of the perfect kind of snow...slick, but not too wet for making ammunition. My parents got caught up in making snowballs and carrying out attack missions on other older family members as our children and grandchildren lobed snowballs at us when they careened down the mountainside amidst a blur of snow dust and laughter. At the funeral of my last living parent, family and friends stood around the gravesite on a cold January afternoon. The surrounding snow varied in color from off white to the gray exhaust-speckled colors that matched the darkness of the mourner’s grief. At the conclusion of the ceremony I did what came naturally. Bare handed, I collected clumps of snow, packed them tightly into orange-sized globes and left one atop the tombstones of my mother, father, brother, and baby sister. Just in case. Should they want one last snowball fight in the empty stillness of the moonlit cemetery. Now, I scan the Mexican streets when I walk down the hill. I search, patiently, for remnants of the restaurant’s melting ice hoping I can add another measure of time to my life.

By Jackie Kellum

ho is Anita? Anita is many different things to various people. She is an educator for the young and some adults, instructing them about proper respect and care for animals. She sometimes is a family counselor/ confidant when a person is having a difficult time dealing with problems at home. Anita is a “battery recharger“ for the human spirit and soul. She acts as a source of animal care information or resource as to where that person can go to seek help, if not from her herself. She is an international gathering place at the Ajijic tianguis for conversations, spoken in German, English and Spanish. Most view Anita as their “safety net” to take in a rescued cat or dog. Some liken her to a type of Mother Teresa of animals, as she has a gentle, open, non-judgmental, endlessly giving, heart for all living things – animals and humans alike. Through word of mouth, many people are familiar with Anita and her caring reputation. They come to her as they trust her, knowing she will help them when their animal is sick, or when they have found or rescued an abused animal, and they will not be sent away without any kind of help. The month of December was a fairly normal month. Accepted into the sanctuary: 186 kittens/cats, and 217 puppies/ dogs. During “kitten and puppy season” the in-coming numbers are higher. On the happy side of the numbers, there were adoptions of 93 kittens/ cats, and 98 puppies/ dogs into forever homes. Adoptions are free, with the hope that the new adoptive parent will make a donation, so Anita’s rescue work can continue. Doing the math, there were more incoming than out-going. Nonetheless, pretty remarkable numbers for just one month--imagine that number multiplied by twelve months. If you think the food bill for your pet family is high, imagine having to get the money for, and buying 160 Kilos/ 353 pounds of dry dog food and 95 kilos/209 pounds of dry cat food, each month. This dry food is supplemented with canned and fresh meat. Speaking of money, it costs about 160

pesos to vaccinate each h new incoming cat or dog, if they do not arrive with a vaccination record. Rabies vaccine is provided by Jalisco State to animal shelters to administer. Ways to help support Anita’s Animals: donation of cat & dog food, items that can be used for “re-sale” like cat/dog crates, pet items, clean gently used clothing, small household items like appliances, paperback books, and newspaper used in lieu of kitty litter, etc. Cash donations allow Anita to buy needed vaccines and pay Vet bills. Anita’s Animals, is a no-kill cat and dog sanctuary located in San Juan Cosala, about half way up the road to the Raquet Club. There is a sign in the road divider indicating a left turn. She is open 7 days a week, 9AM – 2PM and 4PM – 6PM. Anita lives on the premises of the sanctuary. Base your opinion about Anita’s Animals by talking and visiting with her yourself, not another’s opinion. Website: www.anitasanimals.com it has a PayPal account for donations. Anita is at the Wednesday Ajijic tianguis each week , 6AM – 3PM, regardless of the weather, a little way down from Salvador’s Restaurant. Stop by and say hello!

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AA- Meets daily at 10:00 am. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday at 4 pm. Marcos Castellanos 51-A. 766-5961. Meets every Wednesday 8 am for breakfast at La Nueva Posada. www.aalakechapala.org AA Lakeside- M+TH 4-6 Gazebo at the Lake Chapala Society. www.aalakechapala.org AA Women- TH 10:30-12 Sala at the Lake Chapala Society. www.aalakechapala.org A COURSE IN MIRACLES- Meets on Saturday at 2:00 at # 17 B Nicholas Bravo. For information email: clarecgearhart@gmail.com AIR FORCE ASSOCIATION OF CANADA 904 WING- September to April meet the 2nd Thursday 4pm-6pm at La Nueva Posada. John Prichard 766-1876 AJIJIC QUILT GUILD - Meets second Tuesday monthly at 10 am. Guests & New Members Welcome. ajijicguild@gmail.com AJIJIC SCRABBLE CLUB- Tuesdays and Thursdays noon-3 pm at LCS Ken Gosh Pavilion. Dan Stark 766-0411. AJIJIC WRITERS’ GROUP- Meets 1st and 3rd Fridays at 10 am. Nueva Posada. Coffee. Meeting followed by lunch at the Nueva Posada. AXIXIC MASONIC LODGE #31- Meets 2nd and 4th Wednesday of each month at LCS 5:00pm. Contact the Secretary at (387) 7610017 for details. AL-ANON- Step study, M 4:30-5:30 Ken Gosh Pavilion at the Lake Chapala Society AL-ANON- Sat. 10 am, Club 12, Marcos Castellanos 51-A, Ajijic Contact (376) 766-5975. AMERICAN LEGION OF CHAPALA POST- #7 General Membership meets 11 am 2nd Thursday. Tel: 765-2259. AMERICAN LEGION, FRANK M. VALENTINE POST 9 - (Fito’s Restaurant in Riberas Del Pilar) 3rd Wednesday. Additional info Call Vince 765-7299. AMIGOS INTERNACIONALES- Every Wednesday 6 to 8 pm, Nueva Posada; informal friendly group meet to make new friends. AMIGOS DEL LAGO A.C.- Working to improve the ecology. See www.amigosdelago.org or contact us at info@amigosdelago.org. AMITIES FRANCOPHONES- Meets every 3rd Saturday at 1 pm contact: Roland and Camille at 766-0149. rvanhoudt@prodigy.net.mx. ANIMAL SHELTER- Provide shelter and new homes for dogs and cats. Tel: 765-5514. ANITA’S ANIMALS- Free loving dogs and cats. call (01 387) 761-0500. www.anitasanimals.com. ASA- Ajijic Society of the Arts. Meets every 1st Monday of the month at Nueva Posada, 10 am. ARDAT (Ajijic Rotary Dog Assisted Theraphy)- Theraphy dog visits & Children Reading to Dogs program. Julianna Rose 766-5025, rotariojrose@gmail.com BRIDGE AT OLD POSADA- Monday 1:15 check in. Mary Andrews 766-2489. BRITISH SOCIETY- Lunch meeting the 1st Saturday of each month, 1pm at Manix Rest. 765-4786, chapalainn@prodigy.net.mx. CARD & DOMINO CLUB- Wednesday, Friday & Sunday. Call for times. We will teach; make friends! Tel. 766-4253, Cell: (045) 33-1295-6485. CANADIAN CLUB OF LAKE CHAPALA- 2nd Wednesday of month, Sept. through April. Social hour: 3:00 pm, program 4:00 pm. CASA DE ANCIANOS- Provides support for elderly citizens, 765-2497. CASA DE LA AMISTAD PARA NIÑOS CON CANCER.- Provides funds, obtain cancer treatments. www.casadelaamistad.org.mx. 01-55-3000-6900, 766-2612 CENTRO DE DESARROLLO AJIJIC- Provides family planning and reproductive health education. 766-1679. CHILI COOK OFF- Providing a carnival for residents raising charitable funds, 763-5038. DAR- (Guadalajara)- Daughters of the American Revolution, meets monthly Sep. through June. Cell:333-897-0660 or Tel: (376) 766-2284. DAR- (At Lakeside)- THOMAS PAINE CHAPTER meets every 3 Wednesday at 12:30 noon, September thru June. Tel: 766-2981 or 762-0834. DEMOCRATS- Meets 2nd Thursday 4pm at La Nueva Posada EASTERN STAR ESTRELLA DEL LAGO CHAPTER #10- 1st Wed. at 1:00 pm at Hotel Monte Carlo. 766-3785, www.oesestrelladellago.org. ECO ORGANICO MARKET- Tuesdays,10 am-12-30pm, Centro Laguna Mall at carretera and libramiento. ECKANKAR- Weekly dream workshops start Thursday January 26th from 12.00-2.00pm. Registrations: Penny White 766 1230 FRIENDS OF VILLA INFANTIL (FOVI)- Financial support for children: www.friendsofvillainfantil.org. Lisa Le: (387) 761-0002, lisale888@gmail.com GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS- Wednesday 11:30-1:30 Ken Gosh Pavilion at the Lake Chapala Society GARDEN CLUB- Meets the 3rd. Wednesday 11 am for lunch at La Nueva Posada. GARDEN GUILD- promoting the interest in the development of local gardens with an accent on the exotic species available in central Mexico. GERMAN MEETING- 2nd Thursday, 1:00 pm. La Nueva Posada. Call Thea 765-2442 or Werner 763-5446. GOLDEN STRINGS OF LAKE CHAPALA, A.C.- Rehearsals at auditorio de la Floresta. Tuesday & Friday, 3-6 pm. HASH HOUSE HARRIERS- Every Saturday at 8:30 am at La Nueva Posada. HUMANE EDUCATION ALLIANCE (HEA)- Fostering ethical treatment of animals. John Marshall, 766-1170, alianzaeducacionhumnitaria@hotmail.com JUNIOR LEAGUE DE GUADALAJARA A.C.- Av. San Francisco #3332. ligagdl2@prodigy.net.mx, Guadalajara, Jal. Tel. (33) 3121-0887. LAKE CHAPALA DUPLICATE BRIDGE CLUB- Meets every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday at 1:15 p.m.. www.chapalabridge.com. LAKE CHAPALA GARDEN CLUB- Garden tours and meeting 3rd Wed at Nueva Posada for lunch and program. sandy_feldmann@yahoo.com. LAKE CHAPALA GREEN GROUP- Sustainable living for a better tomorrow. Meets first Tuesday, Sept. through May. LCS, 3:00. www.lakechapalagreengroup.com. LAKE CHAPALA SHRINE CLUB.- Meets the 3rd Tuesday of every month at 1 pm in the Nueva Posada. Denny Strole (376) 766-0485 LAKE CHAPALA SOCIETY - LCS- 16 de Sep. # 16-A Ajijic, Open Monday - Saturday, 10 am to 2 pm. www.lakechapalasociety.org. 766-1140. LAKESIDE COMMUNITY AWARDS- We benefit all the community by honoring lakeside’s most talented. 766-3232. LAKESIDE FRIENDS OF THE ANIMALS- Board meets 1st Thursday every month 2:45-4 LCS Gazebo info@lakesideanimalfriends.org LAKESIDE LAUGHTER CLUB- Meets every Wed. from 9 am - 9:40 beginning September 29. For information call Charlene 766-0884. LAKESIDE LITTLE THEATRE A.C.- Balanced theatrical entertainment, English-speaking, 765-5942. LAKESIDE SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF- The 4th of each month. Nueva Posada 10:30 am. Call 766-2280, www.lakesideschoolforthedeaf.org. LAKESIDE USA TEA PARTY- Meeting 2nd Tuesday at 4pm, Sunrise Restaurant, Carretera, San Antonio Tlayacapan LAKESIDE WILDLIFE RESCUE & REHABILITATION- Rescue & rehabilitation of wild animals. 765-4916. LAKE SPAY AND NEUTER CENTR A.C.- Provides shelter and helps curtail the over-population of animals. 766-3813. LAUGHTER YOGA- Meets every Thursday at 3PM, December 22, 2011–March 29, 2012. Free and open to the public! Donations gratefully accepted! Juan Alverez #21, Ajijic. Green door next to (North of) La Paloma B & B. Contact Gita 376-766-5879 or www.laughteryogawithgita.com. LCS EDUCATION CENTER- Provides classes in language and other topics for both Anglo and Mexican community. 766-0499. LCS STUDENT AID FUND- Provides financial support to area students to enroll in university, vocational and high school program. 766-0716. LITTLE BLUE SCHOOLHOUSE- Provides financial assistance for students at school for disabled children in Chapala 766-1552. LOS NINOS DE CHAPALA Y AJIJIC, AC Providing educational scholarships to Lakeside children 376-765-7032, www.lakesideninos.org. LOVE IN ACTION- Shelter for abused and abandoned children. For volunteers and donations. Anabel Frutos 765-7409, cell: 331-351 7826. MAS- Music Appreciation Society. Concerts from fall to spring. Classical music and dance concerts. For info call Kathleen Phelps, 766-0010. MISION SAN PABLO- Helping 60 orphaned children ages 2-14 yrs, Bonnie Shrall - Bonnie@shrall.com #766-0009. www.misionsanpablo.org. NAVY LEAGUE, LAKE CHAPALA COUNCIL- Meets the third Saturday for lunch at 1 pm, Manix Rest. 766 4750 or 766-1848. NEEDLE PUSHERS- Sew dresses, knit or chet sweaters for local kids. Every Tues. 10 am at LCS. Gay Westmoreland - 765-5607. NIÑOS INCAPACITADOS DEL LAGO, AC.- Assisting Lakeside disabled children www.programaninos.org , 766-2201. NIÑOS Y JOVENES CARAVAN- Delivers foodstuffs and used clothing to orphanage in San Juan. Call Reuben Varela, 01-387-761-0828. OPEN CIRCLE- Fostering body, mind & spirit, every Sunday at the LCS from 10 am to 12 noon. 765-3402 or frankdburton@yahoo.com. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS- Every Tuesday & Friday 12 pm at Marcos Castellanos 51-A, in Upper Ajijic. Tel: 376-766-5975 or 766-1626. PASOS MILAGROSOS (MIRACULOUS STEPS.)- Helping Handicapped Children Through the Magic of Horses. Saturdays 8-2. www.pasosmilagrosos.com. RED CROSS VOLUNTEERS- Meets 1st Wednesday at 1:30-4 Gazebo at the Lake Chapala Society. New members welcome. ROTARY CLUB OF AJIJIC- Tuesdays. Fellowship at 12:30 p.m., meeting at 1:00 p.m., Hacienda Ajijic Steakhouse, Carr. Ajijic Pte #268-7. www.rotaryajijic.org. SAILING LAKE CHAPALA- Meets for lunch/drinks-1 pm the 1st Thursday Club Nautico in La Floresta, www.sailinglakechapala.com SAN ANTONIO TLAYACAPAN (SAT) EXPATS.- Meets last Saturday of the month 6pm, at Cenaduria de Elvira, #127 Ramon Corona, San Antonio SCIENCE OF MIND STUDY GROUP- Discussion Tuesday at 10:30 AM, Nicolas Bravo #17 Ajijic; contact Rev. Tim at 766-0920 or tim@revdoctim.com. SCOTIABANK NORTHERN LIGHTS ANNUAL MUSIC FESTIVAL- For details please visit: www.scotiabanknorthernlightsmusicfestival.com THE GENEALOGY FORUM- Meets monthly on the fourth Monday in the Sala at LCS, from 2:00 to 3:45. TOASTMASTERS LAGO DE CHAPALA BILINGUAL GROUP- Meets Tuesdays 6 to 7:30 pm at Ruben’s Grill. For info; Tim at 766-0920 or Maureen 766-2338. email tim@revdoctim.com UVA - University/Vocational Assistance (Little Chapel by the Lake a.c.)- Sue Torres, 766-2932 or Lynn Hanson 766-2660. VIVA LA MUSICA - Bus trips to the symphony, summer concert series, call Rosemay Keeling 766-1801. www.ajijicviva.org. VOLLEYBALL IN CHAPALA- At Cristiania park Tues., Thurs., Sat. mornings at 10, 333-502-1264. VOLUNTEER HEALTH RESOURCE GROUP- Meeting last Saturday of each month at LCS in sala, 10:30. VOLUNTEERS OF THE CRUZ ROJA- Sponsors fund raising events and provides administrative and support services to the Delegation. (NOTE: If there is any change in the above, please advise us so that corrections may be made. Call: 765-2877)

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All Saints Lutheran Church Worship Service 11:00 am 4600 Avenida Tepeyac, Guad. Tel. (01 333) 121-6741. Abundant Life Assembly of God Carr. 140 next to Mail Boxes etc, Tel: 766-5615. Center For Spiritual Living Celebration Service, 5pm Fridays, Nicolas Bravo #17 Ajijic. 7669020 or tim@revdoctim.com. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Services in English and Spanish, 10 am, Riberas del Pilar Bishop Wyvell Tel. (376) 765-7067, Bishop’s residence (376) 766-1532. Church of the Holy Spirit Services Sun. 10 am, Albaro Obregon #119, Chapala Tel. (376) 7654210. Christ Church Anglican Fellowship Eucarist 10am upstairs in Manix Restaurant Ocampo #57 Ajijic. Rev. Danny Borkowski at (376) 766-2495 or Jim Powers t (387) 761-0017 Grace Baptist Church 5th Sun. Evening service 6 pm, Pedro Buzeta No. 970, Guad. Tel. (013) 641-1685. Lake Chapala Baptist Church Mid-week service, 9:30 am, worship service, 10:45 am. Santa Margarita #147, Riberas del Pilar, Tel. (376) 765-2925, 765-3329. www.lakechapalabaptist.com. 7th Day Adventist meet at Camino Real #84 in La Floresta, 9:30 am, Potluck follows, Tel: 7665708 Little Chapel by the Lake Sun. services 11 am, Chula Vista,. Jal, Tel. (376) 763-1551. Lake Chapala Jewish Congregation Santa Margarita 113, Riberas del Pilar, Tel: 765-6968. For information and service times, please call Pres. Elliot Gould. contact us@ lakechapalajews.com. Web site: www. lakechapalajews.com. Lakeside Fellowship Sun. worship 11 am, Javier Mina #49 Ajijic, Tel. (376) 766-0795. Lakeside Presbyterian Church Worship-Sunday 10 am; Bible Study-Friday 10 am; Hidalgo 231A, Carr. Chapala/Joco; Riberas del Pilar Tel. Pastor Ross Arnold at 376-766-1238, or Norm Pifer at 376-766-0616 Website at www.chapalalakesidepresbyterian. org Saint Andrew´s Anglican Church Calle San. Lucas 19, Riberas del Pilar, Sunday 2 services, 9 a.m & 11 a.m. Rev. Winston W. Welty Tel: 765-3926. www.standrewsriberas. com San Andres Catholic Church Services 9:00 am. Ajijic, 766-0922. St. John’s Catholic Church Between Av. Vallarta & Av. Lazaro Cardenas, Guad. Sun. 11am. (013) 121-8131. The Lake Chapala Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Meets Sundays at 10:30 a.m. Sta. Margarita #113 in Riberas del Pilar (on the SW corner of Santa Clara) For additional information call 766-1119 or email to lcuufinfo@gmail.com. We are a Welcoming Congregation www.lcuuf.org

The

Lake Chapala Society

News Meeting Notice and Agenda LCS Annual General Meeting (AGM) 10:00 AM, Thursday, February 23, 2012 1. Call to Order 2. Establishment of Quorum 3. Adoption of Agenda 4. Adoption of Minutes 5. President's Report 6. Ratification of 2011 Financial Report 7. Ratification of appointment of internal financial auditor for 2012 8. 2012 Budget Projections 9. Ratification of Reserve Fund Account deposit 10. Adoption of Long Term and Strategic Goals (Strategic Plan) 11. Report on Annual Objectives 12. Ratification of Membership categories and dues. 13. Election of Officers and Board Members 14. Ratification of appointed Officers and Board Members 15. Adjournment

From the Directors Desk Though LCS cannot hinder vendors from soliciting their wares and services outside of our gates, we can ask them to respect that inside our gates, no soliciting is allowed. Those of you who spend time on the grounds realize that this request is often ignored by some of the younger, more aggressive vendors. Who can blame them for trying? Unfortunately, I find myself, all too often, scolding them and escorting them to a gate. It would help everyone involved if you, the members, help enforce this awkward regulation. Please avoid purchasing their goods on the grounds. Purchase the item or service that you want at a gate, and encourage the youngsters to respect our straightforward rule. I appreciate your support with this matter. The Latina Fiesta is sold out! Imagine, our first event and our major fundraiser for the year is already showing signs of success. Laurels to the committee, lead by Lois Cugini, for their hard work and commitment to the LCS Educational Program. I can’t jump the gun though, the event hosts a silent auction, which is the cornerstone for the fundraising effort. The items on the auction block are impressive, so don’t feel shy about bidding, and return often to the Sala (the auction showcase) to ensure you have the winning bid. Look for LCS at this year’s Chili Cook-off, February 10-12. We have a tent reserved where both the Library and the Children’s Art Program will be selling goodies, used books and children’s art, respectively. Say hello to our volunteers and find a nice bargain. 2011 was a successful year for LCS. We are prudent yet optimistic that 2012 will follow suit. I’m confident that the challenges facing the Lakeside community will be overcome, and I know that LCS is interested in supporting the solutions. Allow the horizon you see when looking across the twelve mile width of Lake Chapala to inspire you. The rest of 2012, end of the world or not, will find LCS snuggled beneath that horizon, pursuing its mission and providing service, thanks to our members and our great volunteers!

February 2012 2012 LCS Board of Directors Nominations In 2012, six positions on the LCS board of directors are expiring: president, secretary and four directors-atlarge. These are the nominees put forward by the 2012 LCS Nominations Committee, chaired by Nancy Creevan: Howard Feldstein is running for a second term as president. John Rider has stepped forward to run for a first term as secretary. Sharon Smith and Karen Blue are running for second terms as directors-at-large. Ann D. Houck and Erik Slebos are seeking their first terms as directors-at-large. All these candidates have been members of LCS for several years. Their resumes are available for your review on the LCS website:www.lakechapalasociety. org. Directors serve for two years and those terms are staggered so that the LCS board will always have continuity. Next year the vice president, treasurer and five directors-at-large terms will expire and new nominees will be selected. On February 23, at the AGM, other candidates may be nominated from the floor. The members present will determine who will fill these important positions for another two years. Please plan to be present so that your voice is heard.

LCS HEALTH DAYS FEBRUARY 8 & 9 2012, 10-12:30 PM Open to the public. * Sign up required LCS office ** Eat a high carbohydrate meal two hours before test: Pancakes, oatmeal, granola, fruit, juice, etc $ Pay the day shot is administered. Wednesday, 8 February: *$ Shots: 10-12:30 PM Booster Pneumonia $400 pesos Typhoid $450 pesos Booster Hepatitis A & B $750 pesos * Skin Cancer Screening: 10-12:00 ** Blood Sugar Screening: 10-12:30 Blood Pressure: 10-12:30 Thursday 9, February: *$ Shots: 10-12:30 Booster Pneumonia $400 pesos Typhoid $450 pesos Booster Hepatitis A & B $750 pesos ** Blood Sugar Screening: 10-12:30

www.lakechapalasociety.org

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Get Familiar with Manzanilla de la Paz LCS members are cordially invited by the non-profit, EcoTuristica de la Manzanilla de la Paz, to be their guest and spend a day in their quaint community. This “Familiarization Tour” is free of charge and includes snacks and lunch. The tour is scheduled for Sunday, February 19 and will depart at 8 AM from the sculpture in La Floresta and arrive in Manzanilla de la Paz at 9:30 AM. Enjoy a guided tour of the town and its tourist areas, enjoy snacks and lunch and leave at 5 PM. Return to Ajijic by 6:30 PM. Sign up in LCS office. First come; first served. Limited to 30 guests.

Grand Public Unveiling of the Children’s Art Mural Scheduled for Saturday March 3, at noon on the Children’s Art Patio. Join us, local dignitaries, and the artists for snacks and the grand unveiling. The project recognizes Ajijic artists, promotes Ajijic as an art colony, educates the community about the program, improves cross-cultural relationships between the Mexican and ex-pat communities, and inspires the children who come to the art patio every Saturday morning. Kudos to the Children’s Art volunteers for making the dream a reality!

LCS Learning Seminars - Tuesdays (via TED Internet podcasts - for LCS members - at noon) 7th - Chaired by Fred Harland. Featuring Harvard’s Michael Sandel speaking on “The Lost Art of Democratic Debate.” According to The Guardian, Sandel is “one of the world’s most interesting political philosophers”. His “Justice” lectures regularly draw a thousand-plus students eager to discuss the big questions of modern political life. 14th Chaired by Bill Frayer. Featuring Hans Rosling speaking on the topic, “Good News of the Decade.” Hans Rosling reframes ten years of UN data with his spectacular visuals, lighting up an astonishing piece of front-page-worthy good news: we're winning the war against child mortality. Along the way, he debunks one flawed approach to stats that blots out such vital stories. 21st Chaired by Fred Harland. Technologist and hacker Joshua Klein speaks on “The Intelligence of Crows”. Fascinated by crows, Klein envisions a new symbiotic relationship between these intelligent birds and humans, turning a long standing rivalry between man and crow into something that profits both species. 28th Chaired by Ron Mullenaux. Featuring Dr. Stuart Brown who says that “Play Is More Than Fun”. Observing animal play in the wild (with the support of Jane Goodall and the National Geographic Society), Brown conceived of play as an evolved behavior important for well being and survival. Through his organization, the National Institute of Play, he hopes to expand the study of human play into a vital science—and help people everywhere enjoy and participate in play throughout life.

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Lake Chapala Society Survey The Lake Chapala Society (LCS) is surveying current members, past members and never members to gather opinions from the Lakeside community. The responses from this first ever comprehensive evaluation will be used by the LCS Board to finetune its program and service offerings. The LCS offers a multitude of services including Spanish language classes, an English lending library, post-life planning, meeting space for numerous service and support groups, and fund-raising events to benefit local charities. The LCS also sponsors outreach programs for the local Mexican community, including a scholarship program for 47 deserving young people, English classes for over 300 students annually, funding for remedial classes for local students, a Spanish lending library, and a weekly children’s art program supported with local artists’ participation. For the entire Lakeside community the LCS provides complimentary health screenings, free access to providers of immigration and health insurance services, and monthly access to the US consulate staff. Your ideas and input are important to the LCS. To participate please go to the LSC website at www.lakechapalasociety.org or stop by the LCS office for assistance.

Update on LCS Cats We would like to thank the folks who have donated to the cats. We almost have our debt paid off, however we still need to give Black Kitty (One Eye), a small operation on its blind eye to stop it from getting infections. Red Cross volunteers help us by collecting the donations, so visit them on the Cafe Patio. We appreciate any amount. Your efforts have enabled us to inoculate, neuter, feed and maintain the health of the LCS cats. The LCS Cat People

Reading Room Update Thanks to all the folks who have given us input on the LCS Reading Room. We will take your ideas and decide what to do sometime in the future. We could use your help--this is the high season, and we could use any and all magazines. One hundred magazines were added, and they disappeared in two days! Please, make an effort and look around the casa and casita and see if you can find some magazines to donate. Thanks all!!

Lakeside Security Update

Working together, we can make Lakeside a safe community. The Anonymous Witness Hotline is being tested! The Hotline should be fully functional by the end of February. Detailed information on using the new system will be released at that time. A Neighborhood Watch is expected to be implemented in February also. A voluntary funding program has been set up to collect donations. When you pay your predial (real estate) taxes, you can make a donation to these programs. Just inform the teller and make sure you get a receipt.

FEBRUARY ACTIVITIES

*OPEN TO PUBLIC

** US CITIZENS

CRUZ ROJA * Cruz Roja Sales Table M –F 10-1 Cruz Roja Monthly Meeting 1st W 1:30-4 HEALTH INSURANCE * IMSS M+T 10-1 NYLife/Seguros Monterrey Insurance T+TH 11-2 TioCorp Insurance M 10:30-1 HEALTH & LEGAL SERVICES * Becerra Immigration F 10-12 Blood Pressure M+F 10-12 Blood Sugar Screenings 2nd+3rd F 10-12 Hearing Services M & 2nd+ 4th SAT 11-3 Sign-up Optometrist TH 9-4 Sign-up Loridans Legal T 10-12 Skin Cancer Screening 2nd+4th W 10-12 $/Sign-up US Consulate 1st W 10:30-12:30 Sign-up 10 LESSONS Children’s Art SAT 10-12 * Country Line Dancing T+TH 10-11:15 Exercise M+W+F 9-10 Have Hammers T 10-12+ TH 3-5 * Intermediate Hatha Yoga T+TH+SAT 2- 3:45 Spanish Conversations M 10-12 Grammar required. LIBRARIES Audio TH 10-12 Book & Video M-SAT 10-2 Talking Books US Library of Congress TH 10-12 ** SOCIAL ACTIVITIES Beginner’s Digital Camera W 12-1 Bridge For Fun W 1:30-4 Computer Windows Club F 10:30-11:45 Digital Camera W 10:30-11:50 Discussion Group W 12-1:30 Everyday Mindfulness M 10:30-12 Film Aficianados 1st & 3rd TH 12-2 Film Aficianados 2nd+4th +Last TH 2-4 Genealogy Last M 2-4 iPad/iPod/iPhone F 9:30-10:30 LCS Learning Seminars T 12-2 Lecture Series: Dreams Workshop TH 12:30-2:30 Lecture: Mexican Character F 10 Feb 3-5 * Mac OS 1st M 12-1:30 Mac User 3rd W 3-4:30 Mah-Jonng F 10-2:30 Music Jam W 2-4 Needle Pushers T 10-11:45 Scrabble M+F 12-2 Singing for the Brain M 2-3 * Story Tellers 2nd T 3-6 * Tournament Scrabble T 12-2 Women Holding Peace TH 12-12:30 * SERVICE & SUPPORT GROUPS * AA Lakeside M+TH 4:30-6 AA Women TH 10:30-12 Ajijic Masonic Lodge #31 2nd + 4th W 4:30-8, 4th T 3-4:30 AL-Anon/Al-aTeen M 4:30-5:30 Gamblers Anonymous W 11-1 Green Group 1st T 3-4:30 MS Support Group 3rd W 3-4:30 Niño’s de Chapala /Ajijic F 10-2 Open Circle S 10-12:15 TICKET SALES M-F 10-12 *

Video Library News Some of you may be missing the always cheerful Thursday morning video library volunteer, Julie Rene. Unfortunately, she passed away November 9th. Her wonderful attitude and willingness to help the LCS members will be missed. February new additions are posted in the Video office and the LCS web site. (There are more than 20 new additions each month and they are reviewed both on the web page and in the office). Claudette Stevenson does a wonderful job keeping the members informed about what is new. In recent weeks we have gotten some great suggestions for movies to be added to the inventory. When visiting the Video Library, please take the time to use the pre-printed suggestion forms and tell us what you think. Include an email address if you want to know how your suggestion will be handled. If you have any VHS tapes taking up space and gathering dust, the Video Library will be happy to transfer them to long lasting DVD discs. The cost is 50 pesos per tape, and can be done in a couple of days. There will be a couple of openings for volunteers in the video library soon. If you are a year round resident and have a nodding acquaintance with a computer keyboard, drop in some Saturday around 2 PM; Tom, the Video Manager, would like to talk to you about it. We found two lost videos recently. One was left on the counter outside the Video Library, Wednesday, December 13th. The title on the tape is “FAMILY TRIP 1969 FROM SLIDES” The other was left in the Library Reading Room, Wednesday, December 20th. The title on that tape is “PROPERTY OF JACK ROSS”. Please contact Tom Keane at 766-4737 if you have any information about these misplaced tapes. The Video Library is dependent upon travelers who are willing to act as couriers to bring DVDs with them when they head south. Flying or driving, Mexican Customs allows travelers to bring 10 DVDs, each, when entering the country. We order and prepay them on-line and have them shipped to an address supplied by the courier. When you travel north with plans to return or when you have someone coming to visit, you, or your visitors, can do LCS a big favor by helping us keep the Video Library current. There is no cost to the courier. If you are willing to help, please see the volunteer on duty in the Video Library.

Casi Nuevo Thrift Shop Bienvenidos snowbirds!! We need your helping hand and friendship. Our store is pretty bare of essentials. We need household items such as small appliances, pots, pans, lamps, paintings and furniture – just about anything besides clothing. Our next request is for volunteer sales people. It’s lots of fun working there. We offer flexible hours and have a great crew. We also offer great discounts for the volunteers. The thrift shop income is essential to 3 charities: • School for the Deaf in Jocotepec and has ~100 kids with multiple disorders. We provide them with meals, an audiologist, speech therapist, computers, books, and much more. • Have Hammers… Will Travel is a school that teaches kids the basics in carpentry, painting, welding and lots of other trades for their future. • The LCS Education Program includes a scholarship program, English classes, remedial elementary summer school classes, a Spanish lending library, a weekly children’s art program and much more. As you can see, we are devoted to education - which is why we are so passionate about making our store a success, but we need your help. Drop off items at the store in Riberas del Pilar or the drop box at LCS. We will pick up larger items at no charge. Please contact Jacqueline Smith at 766-1303 or email smithjacqueline55@ gmail.com for more information. Brochures are available at the LCS information booth or at our Casi Nuevo store.

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LCS MIX & MATCH SINGLES GROUP

“LOVE AND LUST, OR BOTH.”

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lcsmixandmatch/

Storytellers Valentine’s Day Special

9th, Thursday Viva Mexico Restaurant - Gather at the popular Viva Mexico Restaurant just 2 blocks west of the San Juan Cosala Plaza, enjoy cocktails from 5 to 7 PM, and stay for an excellent optional Mexican meal. 23rd, Thursday Come sail on the Batur. Departs at 3:30 PM from the pier in front of La Palapa del Guayabo Restaurant at the east end of the Chapala Malecon. The three-and-a-half hour voyage offers spectacular lake views and sunset. Cost ($180 pesos per person) includes one drink, a d.j., and cumbia/salsa dance demonstrations by the talented Judit and Francisco. Tickets will be available at the LCS Ticket booth from February 13th to 22nd. All invited. Meet at the pier at 3:15 PM. Tickets will also be available at the Batur on the day of the cruise. Contact Walt Bowker at 7665710/waltajijic@ netzero.net

Storytellers return to the LCS Sala with stories and poems by talented local writers on Valentine’s Day, February 14, (featuring cherubs throughout). Readings are from 4 to 6 PM Cash bar is available at 3:30 PM. We welcome submissions from writers of short stories and poems. Stories should be under 5000 words. We are also looking for talented readers of stories and poems since some authors prefer not to read their own works. If you are an actor or a speaker with a good voice, clear diction and a knack for telling stories, please let us know. Proceeds from the Storytellers events go to the Jim Collums Education Fund, supporting LCS Student Aid. To submit material or offer your talent as a reader, contact Larry Reeves at Reeves@prodigy.net.mx

FILM AFICIONADOS ALL FILMS SHOWN IN THE SALA... OPEN TO..LCS MEMBERS ONLY.

“Health Care Designations & Directives: What is available for us in Mexico?” FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 2012 - 2:00 PM LCS Sala Presented by attorneys from Vargas & Espinosa. A review of the Mexican Federal end-of-life Legislation and July 2011 Jalisco State Legislation that provides for a limited durable power of attorney and ‘curative’ health care directives. No charge. Open to the public.

REMINDER

2nd - 12 PM COLD WEATHER - Filmed in Portland, Oregon, this is a refreshing comic/ mystery. A Sherlock- Holmes-without-Watson low-budget winner. 9th - 2 PM GOODBYE SOLO - An endearing character piece filmed in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Some terrific story telling here. 16th - 2 PM GEORGE WASHINGTON - A morality tale filmed in North Carolina. A cast of non-professional actors deal with the consequences of their actions. Brilliantly done on a budget of $40,000 dollars! 23rd - 2 PM SHOTGUN STORIES - A cautionary tale about revenge in rural Arkansas. Sort of a modern day western. CONTACT: marshallallenkrantz@yahoo.com

New Postal Rates First class US postage is now 45 cents effective January 22, 2012

“Modern Mexico Lecture” Tuesday, 21 February 2012 LCS Sala 2:00-4:00 PM Presenter: Richard Rhoda Presentation on modern Mexico: land, people, society, politics, economy, and social issues of crime, drugs, environment, and global warmng. Open to the public.

New LCS Member Activity “Bridge for Fun” Wednesdays, 18 January -28 March 2012 Neill James Patio 1:30-4:00 PM

THE LAKE CHAPALA SOCIETY, A.C. 16 de Septiembre #16-A, Ajijic, Jalisco LCS Main Office: (376) 766-1140 Office, information and other services open Monday – Saturday, 10 to 2 PM. Grounds are open until 5 PM

LCS BOARD OF DIRECTORS President - Howard Feldstein (2012); Vice-President - Fred Harland (2013) Treasurer - Paula Haarvei (2013); Secretary - Lynn Bishop (2012) Director - Lois Cugini (2013); Director - Aurora Michel Galindo (2013); Director - Cate Howell (2013) Director - Tod Jonson (2012); Director - Wallace Mills (2013); Director - Mary Alice Sargent (2012) Director - Sharon Smith (2012); Director - Ben White (2013); Director - Karen Blue (2012) Executive Director - Terry Vidal

◊ THE LCS NEWSLETTER IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY.

◊ Deadline for submissions is the 17th of the month preceding publication. ◊ News items can be e-mailed to Reba Mayo rebaelizabethhill@yahoo.com; cc to Terry Vidal tqv56431@yahoo.com ◊ Note: The editorial staff reserves the right to edit all submissions. ◊ Articles and/or calendar of events will be included according to time, space availability and editiorial decision.

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Service * ADVERTISING

Pag: 106

* ANIMAL CLINICS/PET SHOP - CLINICA VETERINARIA SAN ANTONIO Tel: 766-0808 Pag: 94 - DEE’S PET HOTEL Tel: 762-1646 Pag: 110 - PET FOOD AND GROOMING Tel: 766-3062 Pag: 78

* ART GALLERIES/HANDCRAFTS - ARTE AMANECER Tel: 765-2090 Pag: 77 - DIANE PEARL COLECCIONES Tel: 766-5683 Pag: 85 - EL PALOMAR Tel: 01 (33) 3635-5247 Pag: 101 - LOLITA’S INN GALLERY Tel: 766-1857 Pag: 107 - MEXIXIC- La Mancha Pag: 94 - SOL MEXICANO Tel: 766-0734 Pag: 20 - THE AJIJIC ART HOUSE Tel: 765-5097 Pag: 102, 104, 111, 117

* AUTOMOTIVE Pag: 22

* AUTOMATIC DOORS

* BANK INVESTMENT

- ARATI Tel: 766-0130 Pag: 15 - CLOTHES RE-STYLING & ALTERATIONS Tel: 766-1816 Pag: 110 - CUGINIS OPUS BOUTIQUE Tel/Fax: 766-1790 Pag: 03 - FIAGA BOUTIQUE Tel: 766-1816 Pag: 17 - GUAYABERAS PIRAMIDE DE YUCATÁN Pag: 74 - LA BELLA VIDA Tel: 766-5131 Pag: 85 - MI MEXICO Tel: 766-0133 Pag: 82

- CURVES Tel: 766-1924 - GYM’NOS LAKE Tel: 766 1278 - STAND BIKE Cell: (045) 33-3814-5913 - ZONA FITNESS Cell. 33 1094 6637

- FOLIATTI CASINO

Pag: 118

- PREZE Tel: 762-0128

Pag: 74

* CEILING FANS

- CRISANTEMO ROJO Tel: 766-4030

Pag: 99

- AJIJICNEWS.COM - MAILBOXES, ETC. Tel: 766-0647, Fax: 766-0775 761-0363, Fax: 761-0364

- FUMI-TECH Tel: 766-1946

Pag: 26

Pag: 11

* CONSTRUCTION

Pag: 25

Pag: 78

- ALAMBRADOS PEREGRINA Cell: 33-3808-2674 Pag: 109 - ARELLANO Tel: 766-4696 Pag: 52, 69 - CABO DO MUNDO- INTERIOR DESIGN Tel: 766-0026 Pag: 39 - CONSTRUCTION & REMODELING Tel: 766-3626 Pag: 11

Pag: 83

* DENTISTS

Pag: 47

- AJIJIC DENTAL Tel: 766-3682 Pag: 13 - C.D. MARÍA LUISA LUIS VILLA Tel/Fax: 766-2428 Pag: 07 - C.D. SANDRA ANAYA MORA Tel: 765-3502, 765-5444 Pag: 15 - CENTRO DENTAL Tel: 766-2911 Pag: 91 - DENTAL EXPRESS Cell: (045) 331-121-6518 Pag: 75, 81 - DENTAL HEALTH ONE Tel: 1060-826 Pag: 32 - DR. ALBERTO DON OLIVERA Tels: 765-4838, 765-4805 Pag: 10 - DR. CARLOS CERDA VALDÉZ Tel: 766-0336 Pag: 111 - DR. FRANCISCO CONTRERAS Tel: 765-5757 Pag: 16 - DRA. ANGELICA ALDANA LEMA DDS Tel: 765-5364 Pag: 87 - DRA. REBECA SANDOVAL Tel: (376) 1060 839 Pag: 85 - DRS. MEDELES & BODART Tel: 766 5050 Pag: 33 - HÉCTOR HARO DDS Tel: 765-3193 Pag: 14, 44 - SPECIALIST DENTAL CARE Tel: 106-0858 Pag: 41

Pag: 40 Pag: 81 Pag: 22 Pag: 15

* BED & BREAKFAST - CASA DE LAS FLORES Tel: 766-5493 - CASA DEL SOL Tel: 766-0050 - CASA TRES LEONES Cell: (045) 331-350-6764 - VILLA SAN FRANCISCO

Pag: 99 Pag: 15 Pag: 35 Pag: 27

* BEER & LIQUOR STORES - BETO’S WINE & LIQUOR Tel: 766-5420, Cell (045) 333-507-3024 - MODELORAMA Tel: 766-2678, 765-2055

Pag: 28 Pag: 96

* BLINDS AND CURTAINS

- ARTE AMANECER Tel: 765-2090 - INTERIOR & FURNITURE Tel: 766-4666 - SOFA-COMPANY.COM Cell: 331-576-6974 - STRESSLESS Tel: 33-3640-1283 - TEMPUR, MATTRESS AND PILLOWS Tel: (52) 333-629-5919, (52) 33 3611-3049

- CUSTOM MADE HOME ELEVATORS Tel: 333-559-0444

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Pag: 77 Pag: 95 Pag: 18 Pag: 49 Pag: 91

* GARDENING - AMERICA GARDEN Cell: 33-1308-9660 - GARDEN CENTER Tel. 765-5973 - L & R WATER GARDENS Tel: 766-4386

Pag: 34 Pag: 40 Pag: 28

* GRILLS

Pag: 98

066 765-2308, 765-2553 766-3615 766-1760 765-4444 766-5555

Pag: 112 Pag: 27

* INSURANCE - EDGAR CEDEÑO - MEXICO PROTECT Cell: (045) 33-3106-6982 - LAKECHAPALAINSURANCE.COM -O&A Tel: 766-0152, 766-3508 - LEWIS AND LEWIS Tel: (310) 399-0800, (800) 966-6830 - PARKER INSURANCE SERVICES Cell: (33) 3809-7116 - PROTEXPLAN U.S. Toll Free 1-800-608-5743 Mexico Toll Free 01-800-681-6730 - TIOCORP Tel: 766-3978

Pag: 16 Pag: 90 Pag: 25 Pag: 84 Pag: 80 Pag: 98 Pag: 34

* INTERIOR DESIGN - ELEMENTS Tel: 766-5826 - INTERIOR & FURNITURE Tel: 766-4666 - TENERIFE CENTER Tel: 33-3640-1283 - SOFA-COMPANY.COM Cell: 331-576-6974

Pag: 23 Pag: 95 Pag: 49 Pag: 18

* LEGAL SERVICES - INTERCASA Tel: 765-7553 - MAGO’S OFFICE Tel: 765-3640 - LAW OFFICES Tel: (322) 222 0499

Pag: 35 Pag: 10 Pag: 38

* LIGHTING - ILUMINA Y DECORA Tel: 765 5067

Pag: 83

* MALL / PLAZA

- NAPOLEON Tel: 766-6153

Pag: 17

- FERRETERIA Y TLAPALERIA GALVEZ Tel: 766-0880, Fax: 766-2440 Pag: 97 - REAL ORTEGA-Hardware for Carpenters Tel: 765-7556 Pag: 82

* HEALTH - ALEJANDRA GUDINO LIONS-Reiki Master Tel: (387) 763-2997 Cell: 333-115-9595 Pag: 117 - SAVIA Tel: 766-0087 Pag: 78 - WEIGHT WATCHERS Tel: 01-800-710-3378 Pag: 45

* HEARING AIDS

* ELEVATORS Pag: 39

Pag: 35

* HARDWARE STORES

Pag: 31

Pag: 101

Pag: 107

Pag: 89

Pag: 78

* COMPUTING SERVICES Pag: 27

Pag: 30

* FUMIGATION

Pag: 06

- DR. VICTOR J. YOUCHA Tel: 766-1973

- CAFE INTERNET AJIJIC Tel: 766-3626

Pag: 98

* FURNITURE

* CARPENTRY

- VENTILADORES DEL OCCIDENTE Tel/Fax: (33) 3631-6619, 3634-9982

Pag: 119

* FLOWER SHOP

* CASINO

Pag: 73

* BEAUTY

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* BOUTIQUE / CLOTHING STORES

* COMMUNICATIONS

- AUTOMATIC GARAGE DOOR OPENERS Tel: 766-4973 Pag: 44

- HUNTER DOUGLAS Tel: 766-0026

Pag: 88

EMERGENCY HOTLINE AMBULANCE - CRUZ ROJA FIRE DEPARTMENT POLICE Ajijic Chapala La Floresta

Tel: 766-1152 - VILLA SAN FRANCISCO

* FITNESS

* CHIROPRACTIC

- LINEA PROFESIONAL Tel. 766-2555, Fax. 766-0066

- AFRODITA Tel: 766-6187 - BLUE MOON Tel: 766-0937 - GLORIOSA SALON Tel: 766-3372 - HAPPINESS GARDEN Tel: 766-5513 - INNOVATION Tel: 766-2231 - JAMES DON SALON Tel: 01 (387) 763 1933 - NEW LOOK STUDIO Tel: 766-6000 - PERMANENT EYE LINER Tel: 765-3502