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FREE Fall 2014 Stranger Danger Live Performance Can Change Your Life Hauntingly Helpful Hints For Halloween
Green S’Lime JELL-O Swamp Cake Growing Older With Our Parents
okanaganchild
Fall 2014
Volume 2, Issue 3
articles
4 Live Performance Can Change Your Life 6 How To Choose A Music Teacher 7 Terry Fox Run 8 Recipe - Green S’Lime JELL-O Swamp Cake 9 Craft - Egg Carton Mini Pumpkins 10 Growing Older With Our Parents 12 Stranger Danger 14 Time For A Closer Look 16 Hauntingly Helpful Hints For Halloween 18 17 Things To Do With Pumpkins 22 Learning And Growing - For Parents And Children Alike
Cover photo courtesy of
Contributors:
Jacinta Ferrari BCRMTA - Anita Perry Ruth W Crocker Jeff Hay Becky Furney Sara Dimerman Carol J. Alexander
www.bobbisloanphotography.com
every issue
3 Editor’s Note
0 Resource Directory 2 22 Daniela Ginta
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Editor-in-Chief: Creative Director:
Kerri Milton Bev Tiel
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Okanagan Child is published four times per year by a couple of busy moms. Please note that this magazine is solely funded through the support of our advertisers and sponsors. Please support our advertisers! Opinions expressed in this publication may not necessarily reflect those of the Publishers. All contents copyrighted©. No part of this publication may be reprinted, quoted, copied or reproduced without the express written permission of the Publisher.
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editorial note Hard to believe the summer has already passed so quickly....feels like we were Spring has sprung and Summer is around the corner Kerri just getting - lots of outdoor fun and games to look forward Editor ready for beach too! now Bevhere and Iweare running our teenagers to and from work and the season and arebusy putting little ones areaway busy and withgetting paper routes, friends and fun in the sun. As we all the summer stuff look forward to summer we are ready to embrace new adventures and create ready for the fall! Usually this time of unique andbusy exciting memories together. One new change in our magazine year the kids are getting ready is the addition of Daniela new columnist...Daniela has some great mom for school; unfortunately, due to our adult stories and we can all look forward to seeing her in every edition! If decisions our children are paying the you have something you want us to write about please feel free to drop us price. With that said there are other a line options at editor@okanaganchild.com or catch independent available, which you will see in up with us on Facebook. As always we are blessed with anthis amazing their ads and articles issue;photographer...Carly from Waldorf, to has captured our feeling of the season to perfection....we lovethey to see what she has in store for us! This edition is packed Montessori to Distance always Learning, showcase full of funofsummer ideas ways to stay fit and play together as a family. As a matter alternative ways teaching andand learning. And of into fact...it so packed ...Bev gave and me heck as she is our layout goddess....summer is off we go the was season of yellow, orange favourite and clearly creativity was flowing! Whatever your plans are this reds, asmy the eveningsseason get cooler and thethe kids start summer...enjoy stop and for feel the breeze off one of our beautiful lakes.... to talk Halloween. We your have time someand great ideas the season to rush by crafts, before and we know it.....Kerri using pumpkins, forseems little Halloween what’s better than a “s’lime cake”? With the fun of Halloween, comes the need to remind everyone about safety and “Stranger Danger”, we need to all work together to keep our children safe and to keep the lines of communication open for them to come and talk freely. Jeff Hay, as a father, puts all this into perspective for us from a very personal point of view. As the fall ramps up and the extra curricular activities commence, we need to remember to sit back and be thankful for everything we have, everything we are working for and everything we are looking forward too. Living in the Okanagan gives us such a beautiful autumn season, I know Bev and I will take a night to sit on my beautiful back deck, with a glass of wine and listen to the kids talking, playing and well...just being kids! Happy Thanksgiving from our families at Okanagan Child to yours! www.okanaganchild.com
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Live Performance Can Change Your LIfe (or at least be darned good fun) Picture this: a five-year-old boy comes up to you and seemingly out of the blue confidently announces that one day he would like to play the drums, the violin, the harp and the oboe. Oboe? Is that the one that you hold between your legs and play with a stick? NOOOOOO! That’s the cello. Right. So how does he actually know what an oboe is? He had been to a live performance of “Peter and the Wolf” where they introduced the instruments of the orchestra. Although it had been very, very difficult for him to sit still for the half-hour concert, he had been attentively craning his neck as each instrument was played for the audience to hear its unique sound. This event took place 14 years ago. The boy is my son, and he is currently studying to be a professional violinist. While it is probably true that television could just as easily have introduced my son to the unique sound of the oboe, the experience of being in an auditorium full of people all witnessing a live oboe together had him primed to absorb the experience in a heightened way; we are social creatures. Could I have known that Peter and the Wolf was going to set the sails for our son’s choice of career? Yes and no. If you listen to people’s stories of their early experiences of live performance, you discover that our son’s case is not unique. Many of us can remember concerts,
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Jacinta Ferrari
magic shows or plays from our own childhoods that made such an impression on us that we play-acted and mimicked the parts for weeks afterwards. After seeing the play, “My Fair Lady” with our four-year-old daughter, she announced that one day she too would like to be on stage. True to her pronouncement, she has managed to keep acting as an important enrichment activity in her young adult life, and this month she will be taking part in the Halifax Fringe Festival.
Like television, live performance has the potential to entertain us, teach us about other cultures, help us learn empathy, and, at its very best, awaken our creative spirit. But when we watch television, do truly unexpected things happen? – Things that you could in no way have predicted, and you know have caught the actors off-guard? Probably not. (Most people would agree that even “reality TV” is staged to some extent.) When you watch TV do you get invited to take part in the action -– do a call-and-response song with a musician or go up on stage? Or even have the chance to meet the actors after the show? No. Therein lies the special charm of live performance. It has immediacy, it has spontaneity, and it offers the chance for interaction. It is a place where anything can, and often does happen – where the audience members – big and small -- help to create “theatre magic” with the performers. For the duration of the show, audience and performers together make something unique and wonderful happen. www.okanaganchild.com
When our son was still a baby, and our daughter was three, we bought two season’s tickets for Sunday afternoon Children’s Showcase shows, and took turns going with her on special parent-anddaughter outings to the Community Centre. We made it a priority in our budget, and when our son was old enough the four of us began going together as a family. Over the years we saw a variety of performers, including Goh Ballet, Figura Theater master puppeteer Bernd Ogrodnik, magician Sheldon Casavant, improv group Dufflebag Theatre, and a long list of musicians, mimes and comic stunt actors. We have had many hours of enjoyment, and I became so convinced of the benefits of live theatre to children, that I became a member of the Children’s Showcase Society, which is a non-profit organization. Now in its 31st year, CS reportedly is the longest-running children’s entertainment series in BC. As we prepare for our 2014-15 entertainment series, we look forward to being captivated once again, and hope that many of you will be there to share the experience of “theatre magic” with us. FAQs ABOUT CHILDREN’S SHOWCASE When and where are Children’s Showcase shows held? - Each show is held on Sundays at 2:00pm, and is approximately 50 minutes long. - The Children’s Showcase series consists of 4 shows that run Sept 1-May 1. - Most of our shows are held in the Cleland Theatre, Penticton Community Centre. Occasional shows are held at Centre Stage Theatre, in Summerland Secondary School.
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How much are tickets? - Cost for the series of 4 shows is $30 ($7.50 per show)
- Tickets are transferrable from person to person, so if you will be away or are sick you can give your tickets to a friend. Where can I get tickets? - Series tickets can be purchased from Tumbleweed Gallery 452 Main St or Penticton & Wine Country Visitor Centre. Can I buy individual tickets or do I have to buy the series? - Tickets for individual shows are only available at the door on the day of the show, and cost $12 each. My child is 4. Is he old enough for your shows? - Recommended minimum age for attendance is 3; there is no maximum recommended age (some seniors enjoy the convenience of an afternoon show). - Babies must have a ticket too; fire regulations require it.
Additional information: - Our Theatre Angel program makes some tickets available free of charge to deserving individuals of limited means. For info: jacal@uniserve.com
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How to Choose a Music Teacher by Anita Perry If you are one of the many parents who are contemplating enrolling their child in music lessons, there are a few points you may wish to ponder. One of the most important is how to choose a teacher for your budding Beethoven. Music teachers come in all shapes and sizes with varying temperaments, strengths and weaknesses. Your most important goal is to find a teacher who is qualified to teach your child to ensure a well-rounded musical education. This teacher should have experience as a teacher or, if a student teacher, be teaching under the care of an established teacher who has musical credentials such as a university degree in music or conservatory music diploma. Dedicated and professional music teachers will attend seminars, workshops and lectures to improve their teaching skills. Many are members of professional teaching organizations such as the British Columbia Registered Music Teachers Association and the Canadian Federation of Music Teacher Associations. A good teacher of any subject is one who is passionate about what he or she does and can communicate well with children. An important aspect of communication is listening. Does your prospective teacher listen to you and your child and really hear what you are saying? Are you and your child clear on what is expected for your program of study? Your teacher should have a written guide setting 6 l Fall 2014
out lesson fees and payments schedules as well as the policy for missed lessons. Being able to play music is a valuable, even priceless addition to life’s experience. It is therefore worthwhile to ensure that the following questions are answered to your complete satisfaction? 1. Is this teacher qualified? 2. Does this teacher have experience? 3. Does this teacher attend regular seminars/ workshops to maintain or improve teaching skills? 4. How does this teacher interact with my child? 5. Does this teacher’s curriculum mesh with my expectations for music lessons? 6. Does this teacher encourage participating in music festivals or examinations. If so, are the results to your expectations? 7. Does this teacher have a clear studio policy?
Don’t be shy about interviewing and meeting with more than one teacher. A musical education can be a costly venture and you want to be sure that your time and money are well invested. And as with anything, finding the teacher with the lowest price doesn’t always mean that you are getting a bargain: you generally get what you pay for. BCRMTA BC Registered Music Teachers Association
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Help the Okanagan Outrun Cancer: The 34th Annual Terry Fox Run Sunday, September 14, 2014 “I’m not a dreamer, and I’m not saying this will initiate any kind of definitive answer or cure to cancer, but I believe in miracles. I have to,” the words spoken by a true Canadian hero. Terry Fox had a single dream: a world without cancer. This year marks the 34th annual Terry Fox Run and we invite you to join your community in the Okanagan in working together to outrun cancer. The Terry Fox Run has a long standing tradition in the Okanagan as an opportunity for participants and volunteers to come together and contribute to the $650 million already raised for cancer research worldwide, in Terry’s name. Kelowna’s run takes place at the Mission Sports Field, Penticton’s is at SS Sicamous on Lakeshore Dr., Summerland’s is at the Aquatic and Fitness Centre, Osoyoos’ is at Sonora Community Centre, and Vernon’s is located at Coldstream Elementary School. Each community’s routes range from 1 to 10 km in a non-competitive, all-inclusive, wheelchair-
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accessible setting. The registration fee is by donation and there is no minimum pledge amount. Participants have the option to be recognized as a corporate team, individual participants, or even as a part of “Terry’s Team” of cancer survivors. “If you’ve given a dollar, you are part of the Marathon of Hope.” We urge you come out as a participant or volunteer with a truly grassroots organization. To volunteer, please call Donna White, Provincial Director for BC and the Yukon at 1-888-836-9786. For more information, or to register, visit terryfox.org.
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Green S’Lime JELL-O Swamp Cake PREPARE cake batter and bake in 13x9-inch pan as directed on package. Cool completely. Invert cake onto platter; remove pan. Carefully hollow out center of cake, leaving thin layer on bottom and about 2-inch-wide irregular-shaped border on sides. Crumble removed cake. Reserve 2 Tbsp.; mix remaining crumbled cake with chopped cookies.
WHAT YOU NEED: 1 pkg (2-layer size) devil›s food cake mix 8 OREO Cookies, chopped 1 tub (8 oz.) COOL WHIP Whipped Topping, thawed, divided 1-1/4 cups boiling water 2 pkg. (3 oz. each) JELL-O Lime Flavor Gelatin 2 cups ice cubes 7 fish-shaped gummy candy and/or soft & chewy candies 1 JET-PUFFED Marshmallow 1/2 cup PLANTERS FLAVOR GROVE Cocoa and Cinnamon Almonds 4 worm-shaped chewy fruit snacks 1/2 tsp. black decorating gel 1 piece black licorice 1 PLANTERS Peanut Bar (1.6 oz.), cut into pieces 1 bar (1.2 oz.) Swiss milk chocolate nougat bar, cut into pieces
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SPREAD about 1/2 cup COOL WHIP onto bottom of hole in cake. Add boiling water to gelatin mixes in large bowl; stir 2 min. until completely dissolved. Add ice cubes; stir until gelatin starts to thicken. Remove any unmelted ice. Stir in reserved cake crumbs; spoon over COOL WHIP in cake. Add fishshaped candies as shown in photo. Refrigerate 3 hours or until gelatin is firm. FROST sides and border of cake with remaining COOL WHIP; press enough cookie crumb mixture into COOL WHIP to evenly cover COOL WHIP. Sprinkle remaining crumb mixture onto platter around cake. ROLL marshmallow into 3-inch-long piece; fold lengthwise in half and flatten slightly to resemble ghost. Place on cake; use decorating gel to make eyes. Decorate cake with remaining ingredients to resemble photo. kraft kitchens tips SIZE WISE Dessert can be a part of a balanced, diet, but remember to keep tabs on portions. SERVING SUGGESTION Sprinkle additional chopped OREO Cookies and chopped PLANTERS Peanut Bar on platter around cake to resemble rocks and dirt. HOW TO STORE Keep decorated cake refrigerated.
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Egg Carton Mini Pumpkins Halloween Craft
Materials: Cardboard egg carton Orange paint Glue Paperclip Green pipe cleaners or tissue paper Black marker Step 1:Cut two cups from a cardboard egg carton. Run a bead of glue along the top edge of one cup. Invert the second cup and position it atop the first, making sure the cut edges align. Step 2:Once the glue dries, coat the little shell with orange acrylic paint. When the paint is dry, use the end of a paper clip to poke a hole in the top of the pumpkin. Step 3:Make a stem and curly vines out of green pipe cleaners or twisted crepe paper, and push the ends through the hole. Use a black marker to draw on a jack-o’-lantern face.
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Infant to Grade 6 Care Child Care & Preschool Centre Out of School Care Overnight & Day Camps
Questions or to register? 250-491-9622 ymcaokanagan.ca
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Growing Older With Our Parents by Ruth W. Crocker People today between the ages of fifty and seventy are often referred to as the “sandwich” generation because of their dual roles as helpers to their own children and grandchildren, and also as caregivers for their parents who are living longer into old age. Baby boomers have become, by necessity, important health care decision makers, and sometimes an added responsibility might arrive in the blink of an eye. For example, Marilyn knew that something had changed dramatically with her mother when she arrived one morning to find her sitting on the floor in the kitchen. Until that moment, her mom had seemed increasingly frail, but still independent. At age 86 she still ironed her pillowcases and prepared meals for herself in the house she had lived in for forty years. That morning things seemed different and scary for both of them. “What happened,” asked Marilyn as she tried to check her arms and legs for broken bones. “I don’t know. Do you know where we are?” She gazed up at Marilyn with a faraway look. A trip to the emergency room revealed nothing unusual according to lab tests, but Marilyn realized that her mother’s ability to live on her own had changed. A sudden event like this and the experiences that follow may mark the tricky passage in which a parent will need a different setting which is safer and more appropriate for diminishing cognitive and physical status. Marilyn is now abruptly in charge and may not have a game plan. For most people it’s a bit like being told that there is buried treasure that must be found, but the map is missing.
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Here are some clues and pointers that have helped others to find their way in this difficult territory: • Start with a complete medical evaluation, including both medical and cognitive status. Local visiting nurse associations can often refer you to a qualified gerontologist. The goal of such an evaluation is to assess present needs and abilities regarding safety and self-care, and potential future needs. Fragile, aging people continue to decline. They don’t get better unless they have something treatable like a urinary tract infection. • Determine the signs that rule out living alone. There are options available for assistance if your loved one can stay in their own home, such as home health aides or people who can provide homemaking services. The key is whether or not your parent can be left alone for any part of the day or night. If they are weak or experiencing vertigo, it may not be safe for them to try to reach the bathroom by themselves. • Assess your other responsibilities and time demands carefully. Don’t convince yourself that you can “go it alone” and care for your parent along with meeting other demands like work or childcare. You will have plenty to do with the overall surveillance of care even if it is provided in the home by helpers. • Consider the next level of care that might be soon approaching, especially if your parent has the financial resources. Independent Living (a townhouse or apartment in a complex with other residents over age 55) requires the ability to do all activities of daily living without assistance: washing, dressing, getting to the dining room for meals, taking medication. Resiwww.okanaganchild.com
dents usually have facilities for preparing some or all of their meals. The main benefit of Independent Living complexes are planned social activities and transportation for shopping and/or church. They may also be connected to an assisted living facility and a dementia unit, allowing the resident to remain under the same “roof” (as long as they are able to continue to pay privately) until the end of life. • Anticipate both increased care needs and decreased financial resources. Is it possible that your loved one might outlive their savings and need long-term care? Skilled nursing homes are covered by private funds, Medicare and/or Medicaid (welfare) in the USA or assisted living in BC. There is no difference in the care received after the transition from private to public funds in a skilled nursing facility and the nursing staff does not know which patients are paying privately and which are on state assistance. The most common misconception about nursing home expenses is that the children of the resident must continue to pay privately after their parent runs out of money. Skilled nursing facilities are the best option if dementia is worsening and assistance is needed with eating, drinking, toileting, bathing and walking. • Investigate all possibilities. Speak to friends and coworkers about their experience. Choose the best option with your loved one (if they are able to participate in the choice).
• Start with the “sniff test” if you are visiting potential health care facilities. Yes, smell counts. What is your reaction to the odor of the place? If you have any questions about the source of the aroma, go somewhere else. Ask questions about security including the number of staff available at all times of the day and access from and to the outside. Skilled nursing facilities are the only places that are required by law to have a certain ratio of staff to residents. Private facilities which do not participate in state or federal funding have no set requirement for staffing. • Observe who the other residents are and how they are dressed. Will your parent feel at home with these people? If it is an Assisted Living facility, find out how much care and supervision is provided in the basic monthly fee and if additional care needs are provided at an extra cost. Some places charge extra for administering medication and helping a resident to the bathroom. Skilled Nursing Homes provide all services within the daily charge and are subject to state and federal regulations. You can look up the status and evaluation of any licensed facility on www.medicare. gov or www.gov.bc.ca/health or www.health. gov.bc.ca/assisted Understanding the specific needs of your loved one in the present and anticipating changes in the future will help you make informed, compassionate choices, with and for them, and hopefully allow you to breathe easier and feel less “sandwichedin.” Ruth W. Crocker, Ph.D is an author, writing consultant and expert on recovery from trauma and personal tragedy. Her book, Those Who Remain: Remembrance and Reunion After War describes her experience following her husband’s death in Vietnam and how she found resources for healing. An excerpt has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize in 2014. She is Writer-In-Residence at Riverlight Wellness Center in Stonington, CT where she teaches the art of writing memoir and personal stories. She is available for workshops, readings and public speaking. Contact her at www.ruthwcrocker.com.
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Stranger Danger The Bad Touch:
by Jeff Hay The Bad Touch: When a stranger touched my little girl… I tickle and wrestle with my little girl and my little boys too, when they initiate. They have granted me that privilege as a caring, loving father. I will not tickle and wrestle with your children. Aside from being wildly inappropriate and crossing boundaries, they do not know me. As a family, we have been living through a massive house renovation. Our little house has been a bee hive of activity, activity done by strangers; electricians, drywallers, plumbers, and carpenters. The kids have watched all improvements with excitement, until Monday of this week. First it started as a tickle of my daughter, then a quick wrestle with my son. Why was this complete stranger touching my children? The most respectful interpretation is that this man, a father himself, was innocently reliving his rough housing past or perhaps didn’t know how else to interact with young kids. The least respectful interpretation is terrifying to me and I shake with anger.
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I believe what was most upsetting to us, as parents, was that the kids felt weird about it too, knew something was wrong, but didn’t have the skills to do anything. We have spoken about this kind of scenario many times with hypothetical situations and role play. They have also received instruction on strangers and safe touch at school. How do you teach your children about strangers so they will recognize an unsafe situation for what it is and apply their skills? Without sending mixed messages, how do we teach that not everyone is nice and there are bad apples out there that need to be feared? We focussed on 4 areas: Talking to strangers, the Tickle List, Trusting instincts (and no secrets) and Safe touch areas. While “Never talk to strangers” is an old cliché with some merit, we do want our kids to talk and interact with strangers when mom and I are present. We want them to be friendly and respectful and these skills need to be practiced and developed. I don’t want my children to fear all strangers or the world in general. If they need help, they may need to find a stranger www.okanaganchild.com
– ideally one with a uniform on, a name tag on, or one with children. If 99 people out of 100 are safe and kind, that one creepy bastard terrifies me and I need it to alarm my children. As an exercise, we went through a list of people we knew, and “if they were allowed to tickle or wrestle with you”. Most of our family and good friends were on the “YES Tickle” side while the mail man, workmen, some family, bus drivers, and even teachers were on the other side. The stranger talk led to an interesting age appropriate discussion on “safe” touches and “not-safe” touches. We have declared the parts of your body that are covered by a bathing suit are never to be touched by anyone except mom, dad, or the doctor (“because they are in the body business”). As parents, we need to be constantly vigilant to keep our children safe. While we can fear total strangers, statistics might suggest bigger threats to our children’s innocence might be closer to home. I want our children to trust their instincts; to develop and hone these instincts – to “listen to that little voice that says this doesn’t feel good” (my son’s explanation). Kids need to judge people by their actions, not by who they are in relation to the child. Many family trees have crooked limbs full of creepy uncles.
How have you dealt with strangers who have touched your children and/or the talk and tips you have used to help prevent and minimize stranger danger?? Do you disagree with our approach? Please help continue the conversation so all of our children can remain safe! thedadvibe.com The Dad Vibe is now on Facebook - please LIKE us and help us spread the DV world www.facebook.com/thedadvibe
We talked about how strangers should NOT be interacting with them if we are not present. They need to fear the man who needs help looking for his little dog or the stereotypical stranger with candy or an XBOX that needs testing. We have no secrets in our house. No secrets is our best defence against a creepy stranger that might insist on secrecy… This is a continuing conversation in our house on the topic of strangers. I want to give our kids the tools to listen and act when that little voice that says ‘something isn’t right here’. Every future conversation touches on these ‘stranger’ points, but I want to know from you… www.okanaganchild.com
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by Becky Furney Is your child struggling in school? Maybe it’s time for a closer look. No one would have guessed that Stella* had a learning disability. She was well-spoken and articulate, socially apt (always surrounded by a plethora of friends), and generally maintained excellent grades through her incredible work ethic. But she always seemed to struggle with math, and no one could say why. It turns out Stella has been recently diagnosed with a Non-Verbal Learning Disability or NVLD. Why was this disability so difficult to identify? Well, learning disabilities are not what they once were perceived to be. We are past the age of strictly associating LDs with mental institutions and what was once termed “mental retardation”. We are now recognizing that learning disabilities include anything that hinders one’s learning, and these are not always easy to spot.
Characteristics of NVLD include extreme difficulties with problem solving even though written or spoken language skills seem to be okay. Typically, a person with NVLD also struggles with staying organized in terms of time and space. Visualizing is next to impossible. Needless to say, we are becoming increasingly aware that “lazy” kids, or kids who are ”not trying hard enough” often find learning challenging because of learning disabilities! And, fortunately, this term no longer has the stigma it once did. Instead, identifying a learning disability is a good thing, because it means we can find a solution to successful learning for these students.
NVLD is well hidden, especially in the early years. 14 l Fall 2014
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However, the solution is rarely easy to find. Remediating these kinds of disabilities requires significant expertise. Schools and school professionals do what they can, but that is often not enough to get the students to where they could be. Unfortunately, school resources are just too limited, and, as a result, ensuring a quality education that accommodates the child’s learning style ends up being the parents’ or caregivers’ responsibility. They often need to do their own research and find resources and professionals outside of the traditional education systems. Students may or may not be diagnosed with one or more learning disabilities or disorders. These include autism, ADHD, FASD, or even Anxiety Disorder. If your child is not diagnosed but is falling significantly behind in one or more subject area, it could be that there is a need for a completely different approach. Do not rule out the possibility of a learning disability, and remember: knowing about a disability gives you freedom and options.
So, what are parents to do when they suspect a learning disability? Stella’s parents looked for professionals in their community and found a specialized learning center where the staff understood the neurodevelopmental functions of the NVLD brain, how to strengthen her learning channels, and how to teach in a way Stella could understand and retain. www.okanaganchild.com
At the time of this article, there is a teacher strike in full swing which is affecting all students in the B.C. public school system, but is absolutely debilitating those who have learning challenges. They regress further and further when there is any break in their learning. The longer the break, the greater the gaps in their foundational knowledge. They are not only losing time, they are going backward, and the time required to catch them up again grows exponentially each day. Parents, do not lose hope! Become as knowledgeable as you can about your child’s learning challenges. Look for those resources that are available to you in your community or online. Keep your eyes open for events and seminars that may be of help, and be proactive about finding support for yourself and for your child. Above all, find the people who understand the reasons behind your child’s learning difficulty and offer solutions that get to the root of the problems, rather than just addressing the symptoms. Your child can succeed! Sometimes it just requires looking outside the mainstream system. Becky Furney, B.Ed. Specialized Learning Consultant Mind Over Learning Tutoring Center * name has been changed to protect the privacy of the individual Fall 2014 l
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Hauntingly Helpful Hints for by Sara Dimerman Halloween It’s that time of year again – to plan ahead for Halloween. For some, this is greeted with excitement and for others, with dread. There are questions to be answered such as: Do we decorate the outside of our home, put on our scariest mask, buy lots of candy and welcome the neighbourhood kids or shut off all the lights and go out for the evening? At what age does it seem inappropriate for a child (more like a teen) to go trick or treating and the dreaded What do we do with all the candy when they come home? So, I thought I would tackle these questions, plus more, and offer some suggestions: BEFORE Picking a costume. When my children were younger, I resented paying quite a chunk of change for a flimsy piece of material that would likely never be worn again. Nevertheless, I typically did because Halloween only comes once a year and I didn`t want to be a kill joy. Now I`m thinking that it might have been a good idea (especially when the kids were younger and not as picky) to organize a Halloween costume exchange with friends and neighbours. If I was crafty, it would have been great to even create a costume from scratch with my child. Consider the weather. It`s not surprising that our kids prefer to display their costumes rather than hide them beneath a heavy jacket. How about purchasing a slightly larger costume than one your child would typically wear to make room for a warm sweater to be worn underneath? Safety. Try to pick bright clothing or place neon strips on the clothing so that your child is more visible. Also, try not to allow masks or any face covering that makes seeing difficult. If your child insists, suggest that he wears the mask on top of his head and then lowers it only when he gets to the door of the house that he`s trick or treating at. 16 l Fall 2014
Decorating the outside of your house can be fun. I found that doing so only hours before Halloween night was a better option than the day before. Done too much in advance, bad weather or wind would create havoc. Decorating doesn’t have to be expensive unless you want it to be. Cobwebs with plastic spiders are not costly but make for a great effect, especially if you replace your regular outside bulb with an orange one, for example. DURING Who is staying at home? Although it`s fun for the whole family to go trick or treating together – especially when the kids are young – I find that having one parent (if you`re part of a two parent home) at home to give out candy and the other to go around the neighbourhood, is what typically works best. If you have an older teen at home who has outgrown trick or treating, then he or she might like to be the official giver outer. The other option is to just turn off your lights and go together, but somehow that has never seemed fair to me – imagine if everyone did that, there would be no homes for the kids to go to! Walking in groups. This is more fun for the adults and safer for the kids. Organize with neighbourhood friends or parents of your children’s school friends to spend the evening together. So that the adult who is left at home giving out candy doesn’t feel left out, maybe alternate years. When to head out. Start time for trick or treating is slightly different for each family depending on the age of your child. Parents with younger children tend to head out as soon as it is even a little bit dark – around 5:30, whereas older kids are often still ringing doorbells at 9pm. Speaking of which, there is no hard and fast rule as to a cut off age for trick or treating, but my personal preference was to suggest a cut off www.okanaganchild.com
for my kids around the age of 13. Beyond that age, I`d prefer to see kids get together at one another`s houses for a party, encourage my child to wear a costume (if that`s part of the Halloween appeal) and give out candy or buy her a bunch of candy for them if that`s the motivation for going out. Collecting candy. One of the best ways we found was in a large canvas bag that can be decorated in advance or in a large pillow case – king sized perhaps, especially if there are a lot of homes in your neighbourhood. For really little kids, small pails that can regularly be emptied into that pillowcase, carried by a parent, may be easier on everyone.
How much they get to eat from that pile on the actual night versus how much gets put aside for a later time is dependent on his or her age, how close it is to bedtime and your philosophy on eating candy in general. My personal bias in regards to eating candy on Halloween night is to be a little more liberal than usual, especially if it`s not too close to bedtime. I have also found that leaving the candy out on the table and letting my children reach in the bowl and take in the days to follow actually worked to my advantage. Rather than feeling that I was withholding something they had worked hard to earn, and therefore feeling more of an urge to fight me on it, my kids actually ignored most of the candy when it was lying around and within a month or so, I was able to throw the stale candy out.
AFTER Sorting through their stash. When it comes to safety, sorting through candy is one of the most important parts of Halloween. We always created a few piles – to keep (their favourites), to give away or share (such as hard candy or bubble gum if the child is very young or gets candy they don’t like) and to throw away (such as unwrapped candies or packets of candy that appear tampered with). We all know that it’s not easy or even developmentally expected that children (especially young ones) will share their “keep” pile with anyone, but requesting one or two items at the time helps our children learn to share. www.okanaganchild.com
Whatever you decide - before, during and after, I wish you a hauntingly good Halloween! Sara Dimerman is a Psychologist, Author and mom to two daughters. For more advice, connect at www.helpmesara.com or on Twitter @ helpmesara.
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17 Things To Do With Pumpkins by Carol J Alexander It’s that time of year when pumpkins reign. If you want to get past the usual jack-o-lantern carving and tackle some other pumpkin activities, you’ve come to the right place. Just read on for art, cooking, and learning activities your kids will enjoy.
Carve out the inside of your pumpkin. Use a drill to create a pattern of holes in the sides. Different sized bits will create smaller or larger holes. Insert a candle or battery operated light inside. Put the top back on and use to decorate your porch for the season. If you want your pumpkins to last longer than carved jack-o-lanterns, draw the faces on them with permanent markers. Use pipe cleaners, paint or markers, and felt eyes to create insects out of your miniature pumpkins.
To create a pumpkin topiary, gather three pumpkins—small, medium, and large. Paint them different colors or decorate in some way. Stack them in a planter filled with dried greenery. Place the largest on the bottom, medium-sized one in the middle, and the smallest on the top. Insert more greenery between them and top with a bow.
Create a funny Mr. Pumpkin Head using Mr. Potato Head pieces. Use miniature pumpkins to create a centerpiece or other decorations for the season. Paint guests names on them and use as place cards for a dinner party. Carve out miniature pumpkins and fill the center with a votive candle or tea light. Line the walkway or porch rail with them for Halloween or another evening occasion. Having guests? Carve out a very large pumpkin and use it as a punch bowl. 18 l Fall 2014
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Monogram your largest pumpkin using thumb tacks. Set next to your front door. Process your own pumpkin meat for pies, cakes, or muffins. This is enough fun the kids will want to help you. Save the seeds. Make your favorite pumpkin recipes together and package them to give as gifts.
Look up the formula for volume of an ellipsoid. Take the proper measurements of your pumpkin to estimate how much liquid your pumpkin will hold. Then carve it out and see if you got it right. Wash, dry, and roast your pumpkin seeds. Sprinkle on your favorite popcorn seasoning and enjoy. If you don’t enjoy eating pumpkin seeds, put them in a quart jar. Have each family member guess how many seeds are in the jar and record everyone’s predictions. If you are having a fall harvest party, have this as a game for the kids. Enjoy a game of pumpkin bowling. Cut the stem off a medium-sized pumpkin. Carve out three holes to resemble a bowling ball. Set up rolls of paper towels or empty pop bottles as pins and have at it.
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Hide miniature pumpkins around your yard and have the kids hunt for them like an Easter egg hunt. One last thing. Color your seeds different colors with permanent markers. Then use them to create a mosaic. If you know what you want to create before you start, it will help you to decide what colors to color the seeds. You can use this technique to make a picture for the refrigerator or to make holiday cards to send to friends and family.
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Resource Directory This Issue Born to Birth www.borntobirth.com 250.808.6321 grobag by oyaco www.facebook.com/oyacoproducts www.oyaco.com The world famous baby sleeping bag hautemama www.hautemama.ca 1.866.615.3800 Maternity, nursing and beyond Heritage Eductation Funds tashia_thompson@heritageresp.com 250.769.8274 MINT (mom.infant.nursery.toddler) 778.478.5155 www.mintkelowna.com Okanagan Foster Parents Assn information@okfosterparents.ca www. okfosterparents.ca Penticton Bereavement Centre 250.490.1107 www. pentictonvereavementresources.com Sesa-Woruban Counselling Services 778.476.2530 www.sesa-woruban.com The Terry Fox Run Sunday September 14 www.terryfox.org Tradional Learning Academy 1.800.745.1320 www.schoolsathome.ca YMCA Childcare 250.491.9622 www.ymcaokanagan.ca
Breastfeeding Clinics / Support Okanagan Breastfeeding Coalition 330 Ellis St., Penticton, BC www.okanaganbreastfeeding.org Childcare Resource & Referral Kelowna Child Care Resource & Referral #4 - 1890 Ambrosi Rd. Kelowna, BC 250.762.3536 www.childcarechoices.ca Penticton Child Care Resource & Referral 330 Ellis St., Penticton, BC 250.492.2926 www.kelownachildcare.com Vernon Child Care Resource & Referral 3300- 37th Avenue, Vernon, BC 250.542.3121 www.ccrrvernon@boysandgirlsclubs.ca Midwives and doulas Doula Services Association, BC 604.515.5588 www.bcdoulas.org Midwives Asscoation of BC 604.736.5976 www.bcmidwives.com Alternative Schooling
Cedar Bridge www.whywaldorfworks.com 250.547.9212 Kelowna Waldorf School www.KelownaWaldorf.org 250.764.4130 Mind Over Learning www.mindoverlearning.com 250.860.0084 Summerland Montessori School www.summerlandmontessori.com 250.494.7266
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Public Health Services/Nurses Kelowna Health Unit 1340 Ellis Street 250.868.7700 Penticton Health Unit 740 Carmi Avenue 250.770.3434 Rutland Health Unit 155 Gray Road 250.980.4825 Summerland Health Unit 12815 Atkinson Road 250.404.8050 West Kelowna Health Unit 160 – 2300 Carrington Road 250.980.5150 Vernon Health Unit 1440 – 14th Avenue 250.549.5700 Salmon Arm Health Unit 851-16th Street NE Salmon Arm BC 250.833.4100 Osoyoos Health Centre 4816 89th Street Osoyoos, BC 250.495.6433 Oliver Health Centre 7139 - 362nd Ave Newlands Rd Oliver, BC 250.498.5080 Pleasant Valley Health Centre 3800 Patten Drive Armstrong BC 250.546.4700 Photography & Portraits
Bobbi Sloan Photography www.bobbisloanphotography.com 250.689.2475 Carly Blake Photography carlyblakephotography@live.ca 250.469.2070 www.okanaganchild.com
M I N T
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Learning And Growing - For Parents And Children Alike by Daniela Ginta It was September and my oldest son, having just turned four in July, was about to enter preschool. How do you do it with a smile on your face when countless ‘what ifs’ fly around in your head like a flock of silly birds? How can it be done right? I took the route of many before me. I went to a parent orientation, looked around, asked questions, almost said ‘no thank you, we’ll wait another year’, found some extra courage, and stepped into the room hand in hand. Ready? Somewhat.
The story repeats itself every year. Whether you’re the parent entrusting the world with your children, or the child stepping into what often looks like a daunting world, September can be a challenging time. Yet schools need not be scary. We made it a together adventure since that first day and have been keeping it so for years. Here’s what was learned over the years: 1. Take your child to see the place. Visit the school grounds, ask to step inside so you can both see, touch and get a feel for being there. Stop by the playground and play together; once twice, as many times as needed. This applies mostly to those first years when the world seems awfully big 22 l Fall 2014
to be in by themselves, such as preschool and kindergarten, but don’t stop there. There will be days when your child, no matter the age, will need to find a glimpse of togetherness so she can smile again and get through the day. They’ll appreciate you created the warmth memories together ahead of time. 2. Don’t assume starting school is the most joyful thing at all with no fear pinch whatsoever. For some children it is, for some not quite. Stepping into the world is a good thing because that’s how we learn about life. Find time to talk about it. Tell your child your own story, and do acknowledge that some take in stride while others struggle a bit more with it. Nothing wrong or right with either, we are all different in how we perceive the world. 3. Meet the teacher beforehand and ask questions about how she or he does things in class. Experience with children is a great asset, but always remember that you have the most experience with your own. Consult, share ideas, listen, ask questions and establish a good dialogue ahead of time. It helps children to know parents are present. Not hovering, but creating a solid path by sharing ideas. www.okanaganchild.com
4. Make time to listen to your child. Walk from school, take a detour if you live across the street, but make time for debriefing at the end of the school day. Before anything else, listen. They’ll share worries, joys, frustrations, and often time you’ll realize there is no asking for solutions but rather doing what you have been doing all along: sharing thoughts and experiences that maintain the trustful relationship you’ve been building together since your child was born. 5. If things go awry in any way, be there. We have expectations, our children do too. If things don’t go well, be there to talk it over and help your child know he is not alone. Don’t be afraid to act if action is needed. Trusting your parenting instinct is what you’ve been practicing for a while now. There is always the worry about coddling our children, more so when they start school and may be coming home with tears. No problem is too small when a child enters school, they need to know that so they build confidence and resilience to keep on going. They’ll learn to sail over
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rough seas before you know it, but they’ll need a helping hand and a listening ear at first. Just like we all do. Bottom line is that there will always be a bump in the road, every worthwhile journey has them. It takes time to learn how to do it right, but doing it together is a good approach.
Daniela Ginta, MSc Freelance writer www.ThinkOfClouds.com about.me/DanielaGinta
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