The (Epic!) Chicken Fried News Year in Review (and 2016 Predictions)

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ON THE COVER

NEWS

LIFE

LIFE

Thou won’t believe the year we hath had — 2015 was bananas. And while the date looks like it’s the future, Oklahoma largely lived in the past — like, the Moses-coming-downfrom-the-mountain past. The Ten Commandments monument finally was removed from the Capitol grounds. But fear not, for Oklahoma Gazette erects its own monument here. Please welcome the Chicken-Fried News Year in Review: Ten Commandments Edition (and 2016 predictions)!

By Greg Elwell. P.9

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Metro: fair housing ordinance

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Sudoku / Crossword

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State: Cyndi Munson

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Music: KlipHop, listings

Metro briefs

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Education: alternative paths

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Cover: Chicken-Fried News Year in Review

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Commentary

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Letters

Food & Drink: Taqueria La Tropicana, You’ve Been Served: Katiebug’s Shaved Ice and Hot Chocolate, briefs, OKG eat: hot stuff

Oklahoma Gazette’s mission is to stimulate, examine and inform the public on local quality of life issues and social needs, to recognize community accomplishments, and to provide a forum for inspiration, participation and interaction across all media.

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Film: The Hateful Eight, local Ewok, Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

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Culture: Shakespeare’s First Folio!

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Astrology

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Visual Arts: Denise Duong, An Art Show About Nothing

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Classifieds

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Performing Arts: Whodunit Dinner Theater

Mission statement

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news metro

Equal time l aura e aste s

A Human Rights Commission scores for LGBT equality in Norman, but questions rise as OKC considers housing a discrimination amendment.

by Laura Eastes

Thunderous applause erupted after the nine-member Norman City Council unanimously voted to extend the city’s civil rights protections to include lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender residents.

Following the Dec. 22 vote, supporters — many dressed in red T-shirts with the words “Standing together for an inclusive Norman” on them — exchanged hugs. Others wiped away tears.

The historic resolution was decades in the making and picked up speed following the U.S. Supreme Court’s October 2014, ruling that recognized same-sex marriage, said Troy Stevenson, executive director of Freedom Oklahoma, a statewide political LGBT rights advocacy organization.

“Norman has shown itself to be a leader in the state of Oklahoma and set the bar high for other cities,” Stevenson said.

He also shared Freedom’s plans to push for similar resolutions in cities across the state.

“We look forward to the state of Oklahoma seeing what is happening and passing protections for all Oklahomans,” he said.

The resolution updates Norman’s discrimination policy, which was passed in 1986 and prohibits discrimination against race, color, religion, ancestry, sex, national origin, age, place of birth, disability and family status. Norman Mayor Cindy Rosenthal’s signature officially added sexual orientation and gender identity to that policy.

Before the vote, Rosenthal, who leads the state’s third largest city, said the resolution also recognized equal rights for LGBT residents regarding employment, housing and visits to restaurants, shops and entertainment venues.

“This resolution is of historical significance because we are reaffirming this community’s commitment to the value of inclusiveness in the lives of our citizens,” she said. “All citizens can enjoy the opportunity to participate equally in the social and economic life of this city.”

While the resolution received support from Freedom Oklahoma and grassroots community coalition Norman United, it was the City of

Norman’s Human Rights Commission that brought the issue to the council’s attention. The group meets quarterly and advocates for fair employment and economic and social rights of citizens.

Following the human rights commission’s October meeting, city attorneys drafted a resolution to update code to include LGBT protections. Stevenson attended the October meeting and the council’s Dec. 8 conference, where the issue was introduced. From his experience, successful implementation and enforcement of LGBT protections often begins with a human rights commission, which works to prevent and eliminate discrimination.

Among the state’s largest cities, Norman, Tulsa and Lawton have formed such commissions.

“This exact process wouldn’t be possible in Oklahoma City because there is no human rights commission,” Stevenson said. “There is a lot of work to be done.”

Defunct commissions

In 1988, Oklahoma City reestablished its Human Rights Commission after a burning cross was erected on the property of a northeast OKC church and local Jewish temples were vandalized with graffiti, according to 1990s-era news reports.

The commission worked with a coordinator to conduct mediation for residents involved in human rights disputes.

In 1993, its duties were reduced from mediation to education, which included presenting at civil rightsrelated community forums. In the mid-1990s, the group was met with resistance when it advocated for recognizing protection of sexual orientation. In January 1996, Oklahoma City Council abolished the commission.

At the state level, after 50 years of service, the Oklahoma Human Rights Commission, which promoted civil rights laws and investigated complaints of discriminations, also was abolished.

The commission’s duties were transferred to the Oklahoma Attorney General’s Office.

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Community members, along with representatives of Norman United and Freedom Oklahoma, work with Norman Human Rights Commission to create a resolution calling to protect lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender citizens in Norman.

OKC considerations

Questions surrounding OKC’s lack of a human rights commission emerged during the city council’s Dec. 8 meeting.

At that time, municipal counselor’s office attorneys introduced a revision to the city’s housing discrimination ordinance.

The amendment calls for banning discrimination based on certain classes, including disability, age and familial status, specifically families with children.

Currently, it is illegal for a landlord or real estate agent to discriminate against a person based on factors relating to race, color, sex, religion, national origin and ancestry.

Proposed changes would reflect protections provided under the federal Fair Housing Act, enacted as Title VIII of the Civil Rights Act of 1968.

Requested by the city’s planning department, adoption would qualify the city for U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development grants.

For one council member, however, the amendment wouldn’t go far enough to protect residents from discrimination when buying, renting or financing a home.

Ward 2 Councilman Ed Shadid wants lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender classes recognized in the housing discrimination ordinance. City attorneys said that a floor amendment specifically addressing LGBT protections will be added during the final hearing at Tuesday’s city council meeting. The council also is expected to vote on the ordinance then.

In April, Tulsa City Council members reviewed and unanimously approved a similar amendment adding sexual orientation and gender identify as protected classes to that city’s fair housing ordinance.

Additionally, the proposed change to Oklahoma City’s ordinance supports the current practice in which city staff collect complaints and forward them to the Oklahoma Attorney General’s Office.

An Oklahoma City human rights commission would allow commissioners to review complaints and recommend

solutions, but it would lack an “enforcement arm.” If recommendations weren’t followed, a complainant would be forwarded to state attorney general’s staff, said Cindy Richard, Oklahoma City deputy municipal counselor.

Ward 7 Councilman John Pettis Jr. supported the efficacy of the current system, saying a recent attorney general’s office investigation resulted in civil action against a landlord accused of harassing female tenants for sexual favors.

“I think the system currently in place works,” Pettis said. “I would love to see a human rights commission, but if we are not going to properly fund it, what’s the point? If we are not going to make sure we have staff in place, what’s the point?”

Shadid requested city staff research the role of human rights commissions in other cities and present an update to the city council regarding the history of the city’s human rights commission.

Stephenson said the inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity in the housing discrimination ordinance is just the beginning of Freedom Oklahoma’s advocacy efforts in Oklahoma City. Reestablishing human rights commissions also is a priority.

He also said OKC is one of the largest cities in the nation without a commission.

“It does work in other cities, not just for the LGBT community, but other minority communities,” Stevenson said.

“Having that resource to air a grievance to a municipality is vital, and it really helps minority communities feel like they have a voice in the city.”

Freedom Oklahoma is not alone.

Priya Desai, president of the Oklahoma chapter of the United Nations Association of Oklahoma City, believes a human rights commission would be a positive measure for the city.

“The residents of Oklahoma City would benefit from a human rights commission to investigate complaints of discrimination, monitor compliance with equal employment and fair housing laws and promote equity and inclusion in the delivery of city services,” she said.

news state

Model millennial m a rk ha n coc k

As she prepares to take her place in the Oklahoma Legislature, Cyndi Munson focuses on citizen participation.

BY Laura Eastes

A decorative black sign with white text that reads, “Never give up,” greets visitors to Rep. Cyndi Munson’s third-floor Oklahoma State Capitol office.

It was one of the first items the Democrat unpacked following her Sept. 8 special election victory.

The well-known expression is Munson’s mantra; she exemplifies the Energizer bunny in her commitment to chasing goals. The 30-year-old AsianAmerican is living testament to following her own motto and now represents a section of northwest Oklahoma City, including neighborhoods near Lake Hefner and into Nichols Hills, The Village and Crown Heights.

Her quest to serve District 85 didn’t stop after losing in 2014 to incumbent Rep. David Dank, a Republican who had

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held the seat since 2006. The defeat stung, but not enough to quit politics. Instead, Munson redirected her energy to 2020 Oklahoma, a political action committee dedicated to increasing the number of women Democrats in the Oklahoma Legislature by 2020, exactly 100 years after the 19th amendment guaranteed all women the right to vote.

Munson didn’t anticipate seeking the District 85 seat so soon after co-founding 2020 Oklahoma, but Dank’s death in April left an open seat in the 101-member chamber. She filed a declaration of candidacy, rallied millennials and went door-to-door. During her campaign, she addressed education, jobs and women’s issues, defeating Republican candidate Chip Carter.

“It was a surprise for a lot of people,”

Cyndi Munson stands next to her desk on the House floor at the Oklahoma State Capitol, where she will represent House District 85.

Munson said during a Dec. 18 interview with Oklahoma Gazette 101 days after the election. “I think there are people who doubt I will win again. My goal is to work. I know it is not going to be easy balancing being a new legislator while running a campaign at the same time.”

In the back of Munson’s mind is the statewide primary election June 28, followed by the Nov. 8 general election.

Most house lawmakers have at least one legislative session under their belts when campaigning before primary elections.

That wouldn’t be the case for Munson, who plans to start knocking on doors in January.

“I look at this as another opportunity

to overcome an obstacle,” said Munson before she pointed to her sign.

“My job is to stay focused and do every thing I can. I worked hard in my campaign, and I am bringing that same work ethic into serving as a representative.”

Citizen involvement

Come Feb. 1, Munson will take a seat behind her desk in the House of Representatives, a setting not entirely foreign to the freshman legislator. She frequented the gallery as a political science major at the University of Central Oklahoma. continued on next page

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 5 12/23/15 11:58 AM

m a rk ha n coc k

news state

Oklahoma State Capitol rotunda and dome Her public servant preparation began early; she credits her father, a 22-year U.S. Army veteran, as the one who inspired her to public service.

“We always talked about civic engagement, voting and this being our duty,” explained Munson, who was raised in Lawton. “When you have a father who puts on a uniform every day and tells you voting is your duty, you make sure you vote.”

On her 18th birthday, which fell during the American Legion Auxiliary Oklahoma Girls State program, Munson registered to vote. At the program, which provided citizenship training to high school students, Munson decided her involvement in politics would extended beyond the ballots.

Upcoming session

On a recent visit to Oklahoma City Public Schools’ Roosevelt Middle School, students informed Munson that voting doesn’t matter. It wasn’t the first time she had heard that viewpoint, but she always counters.

“Everyone’s vote counts,” she said.

“Sometimes things don’t go our way.

But your vote counts. Anytime we yield our vote, which is what I tell students, we are giving an extra voice.”

It’s a tough paradigm to change in a state where younger voters aren’t the only group not participating. During the 2014 election, only about 40 percent of registered voters exercised their constitutional right.

Millennials, perhaps more than any other group, voice their opinions often.

Munson argues that it’s not enough to post on social media.

“That is a place to voice your opinions, but you’ve got to put action behind it,” she said. “That means voting.”

To increase voting, Munson is pursuing vote-by-mail legislation, meaning a ballot is mailed to registered voters in advance of Election Day and

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traditional voting precincts are closed.

In 1998, Oregon became the first state to conduct elections exclusively by mail.

Proponents of vote-by-mail believe voter participation increases as voting barriers, such as transportation and limited voting hours, are removed.

Munson supports veteran legislation, specifically establishing a tax exemption for veterans and military personnel starting a business. She’s also a proponent of employment programs for military members and veterans.

Safe sleep standards for infants, domestic violence prevention and labor rights — equal pay for equal work — round out Munson’s focus heading into session. She’s an advocate for common education and is troubled by low funding, the teacher shortage, low teacher pay and dwindling resources for public schools.

Like most state lawmakers, Munson views this upcoming session as uniquely challenging, with lawmakers facing an estimated $900.8 million appropriated budget hole.

Role model

The first Asian-American state representative, Munson is interested in what her constituents think of those issues and others. She spent her first 100 days speaking to residents, specifically those who didn’t check “Munson” on the ballot or didn’t vote at all.

“We should be listening to everyone,” Munson said. “Unfortunately, how the system is set up, it’s those that vote that get heard. That’s not a good way to stay in office nor to hold those in office accountable.”

Munson holds high hopes for the state’s future but believes it will require citizen participation in politics and civic life. She encourages women, minorities and millennials to seek office. It’s time candidates break the mold of politician stereotypes, including those of age, marital status and name recognition.

According to Munson, a diverse Legislature will better reflect the state’s demographics.

“It takes hard work, thick skin and bravery,” responded Munson when asked about advice for women candidates. “We have to get away from questioning our qualifications and who we are in the community. We are important, vital voices. We have to step up to the plate and run.”

Munson knows stepping up isn’t easy, but it all goes back to her mantra: Never give up.

“When I look at my life and some of the things I’ve gone through, I think, ‘I shouldn’t be here,’“ said Munson.

“There are a lot of meetings I sit in on where I think, ‘I don’t belong here.’

There is a reason I am here, and I will use my voice the best I can to bring about change in my community.”

metro briefs

By Laura Eastes

p hotos by m a rk ha n coc k

Museum fundings

Water fight Last week, City Manager Jim Couch received the green light from Oklahoma City Council to negotiate a contract with Severn Trent Services for operating the city’s pump station and four wastewater treatment plants.

Earlier this month, Oklahoma City Water Utilities Trust leadership voted unanimously to direct Couch to “negotiate an agreement with Severn Trent Services for the management, operation and maintenance of wastewater treatment facilities, solids management and industrial pretreatment program services.” The action item then moved to the council, which granted approval in a concurrent docket vote during its Dec. 22 meeting.

Veolia Water North America – West LLC has a three-decade history with the city and its current operating contract expires Dec. 31, 2016. For the past 28 years, the city has employed a private firm to operate and maintain the facilities.

Ten months ago, the city hired CDM Smith, a consulting firm, to assist in hiring a private firm to begin services Jan. 1, 2017.

In August, Severn Trent made headlines after the Oklahoma Department of Environmental Quality (DEQ) alleged it violated federal and state drinking water laws in the southeastern Oklahoma town of Hugo, where the company was contracted to operate that city’s water supply. The DEQ issued a $3.17 million fine to the international, United Kingdom-based corporation.

As a result, during a Nov. 24 meeting, OKC water trust members expressed uneasiness about considering Severn Trent for a wastewater contract. Action was deferred to a Dec. 8 meeting, which featured a presentation by CDM Smith’s Susan Foley. She reviewed three proposals received by the city.

CDM Smith recommended Severn Trent based on price, staffing and performance. Severn Trent proposed an annual operating cost of $13.2 million, which is lower than proposals received from CH2M Hill ($14.7 million) and Veolia ($15.1 million). Severn Trent called for 85 staffers, which was a higher number than staffing proposals from its two competitors.

Marsha Slaughter, utilities director, said city leaders performed due diligence by addressing claims made in the DEQ audit — such as violations of Safe Drinking Water Act laws, maintenance deficiencies and inconsistent record-keeping — with DEQ and Severn Trent officials.

“We did meet with (Severn Trent) individually, and they have addressed the problems at this time,” Slaughter said during the Dec. 8 water trust meeting.

Specifically, water trust officials said Severn Trent fines concerned Hugo’s drinking water operations, not its wastewater operations. Across the United States, the company oversees 237 wastewater facilities and 220 water facilities that serve 4 million customers.

“I am satisfied they are a good organization,” said Ward 4 Councilman Pete White, who serves on the water trust. “They can do the job and are committed to do it.”

Smoking rules Come Jan. 21, smokers will no longer be able to light up in Oklahoma City parks.

Oklahoma City Council passed the ordinance banning smoking in all cityowned and operated property indoors and outdoors, with the exception of streets, alleys and sidewalks. Municipal golf courses and facilities licensed by the Oklahoma Horse Racing Commission were not included in the ban.

The ordinance’s author, Ward 4 Councilman Pete White, said he didn’t include golf courses because he wanted it to pass “without a lot of hassle.”

Ordinance proponents included OKC Beautiful and the American Lung Association.

Violators of the law face a fine of up to $100.

Additionally, the council unanimously approved an ordinance outlawing adults from purchasing vapor products for minors.

State law prohibits businesses from selling vaping products, including electronic cigarettes, to minors.

Violators face up to a $200 fine, which doesn’t include court costs, and up to 90 days in jail.

New life was breathed into the troubled American Indian Cultural Center and Museum (AICCM) last week when the Chickasaw Nation came forward with a partnership offer 24 days before the agreement deadline.

Last spring, lawmakers authorized a $25 million bond to complete the southside Oklahoma City museum.

In 2012, construction was halted after funding ran out. House Bill 2237 called for the City of Oklahoma City to complete and operate the facility. The legislation, signed by Gov. Mary Fallin, included a Jan. 15 deadline for the city and state to reach an agreement.

Before the Dec. 22 Oklahoma City Council committee meeting, it wasn’t clear how city officials planned to respond. During that meeting, the Chickasaw Nation offer was presented in a letter signed by Bill Lance, tribe commerce secretary.

“The Chickasaw Nation has long been a strong supporter of The American Indian Cultural Center and Museum,” Lance said in an email to Oklahoma Gazette. “As an investor, operator and owner in a variety of diverse businesses, we are pleased to offer to invest in the AICCM for the benefit of the city, the state and the Chickasaw Nation.”

The proposed tribal-city partnership calls for the tribe to underwrite a portion of construction completion costs, up to $65 million. Additionally, the tribe would provide financial help of up to $14 million to cover museum operating deficits in its first seven years.

In exchange, the Chickasaw Nation would have the option to develop commercial property around the facility, located near Interstate 35 next to the Oklahoma River.

State officials who wanted to tell the story of Oklahoma’s 39 tribes initiated plans to develop the cultural center in 1994.

Museum designs were finished in 2006 and construction is 50 to 60 percent completed. At least $95 million is required to complete construction, according to city-hired consultants.

Even with the state providing $25 million in the sale of bonds and $40 million from private donations, the city faces a $30 million shortfall to finish the center.

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 7

news education

Exceptional education Alternative paths: Emerson Mid-High School provides wraparound options like flexible scheduling and onsite day care for independent students.

By Brett Dickerson

RyAnn Proctor is an intelligent, independent, capable Emerson MidHigh School honor student who works hard and appears to have a bright future ahead of her.

She’s also a mom. Each day, she brings her 2-year-old daughter to school with her. The high school senior uses the on-campus day care, which is certified by Oklahoma Department of Human Services (DHS).

Emerson’s wraparound approach to alternative education — and keeping youth involved in the learning process — helps many students like Proctor graduate high school.

Proctor is one of many adolescents attending Oklahoma City Public Schools who benefit from attending Emerson, which specializes in educating independent students.

Senior Anthony Hayward recently told Oklahoma Gazette that he now is able to work “only one job instead of two” to make ends meet for himself and others in his family because he received a raise at his full-time job.

He credited the school’s flexible scheduling with helping make that happen.

Students may choose one of two sessions or both: one that runs 8:20 a.m.-1:10 p.m. and another that runs 11:35 a.m.-4:25 p.m.

Even with the schedule flexibility, Hayward said his teachers — and their patience — are key to his success.

“They are really down-to-earth,” he said. “They don’t expect more than they know that you can give.”

Looking to the future, Proctor said she hopes to attend Oklahoma City Community College and go on to the University of Oklahoma to earn a nursing degree. “[Knowing my daughter is close by

ph otos by Garett fisbeck

Editor’s note: As discussions continue about discipline and whether there are enough alternative schools and programs to meet unique needs of some students in Oklahoma City public schools, Oklahoma Gazette explores alternative paths available that help students graduate high school with the skills needed to enter adulthood. This story is part of an ongoing series.

and safe at the day care, (housed in one wing of the building) helps me to stay in school and get my education,” she said. “It’s pretty good.”

Teachers and staff who work with Proctor as part of the school’s outreach to pregnant and parenting youth are supportive, too. She described them as nice and caring.

Emerson’s wraparound approach also features student access to medical care and other state-supported services, which are coordinated by a DHS worker. Soon, a clinic, now under construction, also will allow on-site medical care for students and their children.

Creating opportunity

Principal Sherry Kishore always is on the move throughout her long school day. Her priority is to provide opportunities for her students.

“My goal is that every student who walks into this building has the opportunity to learn what they need to ... be productive citizens,” Kishore said.

“Whether they choose to go to college or ... go out and work in business or industry; whatever choice it is, they

8 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

above Sherry Kishore, Emerson Mid-High School principal, said her primary goal is to provide opportunities to her students and prepare them to become successful adults. right RyAnn Proctor at Emerson Mid-High School in Oklahoma City need to be prepared to get there.”

Senior counselor Jane Taylor spends much of her day helping solve class credit “mysteries” for former high school dropouts who have rededicated themselves to earning the credits to graduate.

She said Emerson does two important things for its independent students.

“We fit what they need in the hours that they can attend,” she said. “[And we] won’t let them make a zero.”

That’s not to say every student automatically gets passing grades.

To the contrary, teachers return problematic work to pupils and help them until they understand and complete the assignments.

Emerson’s flexible schedule gives the

campus a feeling of perpetual motion as students, staff and community providers come and go long after most schools would fall silent for the day.

Emerson also is the administrative hub for 11 extended, off-campus education programs for students at detention centers and medical and psychiatric facilities across the city.

Chicken

Fried news Cover

The 10 Commandments of 2015 (and 2016 predictions!)

By Greg Elwell

Thou won’t believe the year we hath had — 2015 was bananas.

And while the date looks like it’s the future, Oklahoma largely lived in the past — like, the Moses-coming-downfrom-the-mountain past.

This was the year our esteemed Gov. Mary Fallin and state Attorney General Scott Pruitt decided, Judge Dredd-style, that they were the law and fought an Oklahoma Supreme Court order to remove a Ten Commandments monument from the Capitol grounds.

You might remember that someone else tried to remove the monument in 2014 by driving a car into it. But a new monument replaced it in January and started the whole kerfuffle again.

We didn’t hate the Ten Commandments monument. If anything, we were just upset that favoritism prevented the erection of competing monuments of Vishnu, Gaia, the Flying Spaghetti Monster and, of course, our beloved goat-headed pseudo Satanic figure Baphomet.

Oklahoma Gazette has, instead, erected its own monument here in these pages. Please welcome the Chicken-Fried News Year in Review: Ten Commandments Edition. Feel free to take a few copies of the paper and leave them at the former monument site at the State Capitol. We’re sure the governor would love to read these.

1.

Thou shalt not pretend earthquakes aren’t caused by disposal wells.

Yea, verily didst the ground commence wiggling time and again in 2015. According to a document from Oklahoma Geological Survey (OGS), this year saw more than 5,400 earthquakes and about 800 3.0 or greater earthquakes in the state.

Perhaps that explains the report OGS put out in April — they linked a whole lotta shakin’ to a whole lotta disposal wells.

“The rate of magnitude 3.0-plus earthquakes has increased from one and a half per year before 2008 to the current average rate of two and a half per day, a rate that is approximately 600 times the historical background,” said the OGS summary statement.

Continental Resources founder, chairman and CEO Harold Hamm had a different view — specifically, that the OGS should shut up.

Former Mewbourne College of Earth and Energy Dean Larry Grillot said Hamm was upset with OGS’s findings and wanted staff members removed. Hamm denied the accusations.

Grillot left his post this summer.

Not that there’s a whole lot of fighting over Oklahoma’s natural resources at the moment. Oil and gas prices have fallen precipitously, taking plenty of our state’s jobs with them.

2016 prediction: As petroleum prices continue to fall, it actually becomes cheaper to use oil and natural gas to frack the wastewater back out of the ground for use in Oklahoma’s dirty rivers and lakes. Earthquakes become a tourist attraction, drawing much-needed tax dollars into the state.

Berenger, Michelle Pfeiffer (not a man) and Edward James Olmos, who were all in movies about school reform.

3. Thou shalt not let Donald Trump come back to Oklahoma City.

2. Thou shalt educate all the kids.

Suspension rates at Oklahoma City Public Schools are high.

“How high are they?”

Suspension rates at Oklahoma City Public Schools are so high, the bartenders at Guyutes know them by name.

Ha ha! We have fun, but seriously, if you’re a former Oklahoma City student, you might ask someone to read this to you, because it’s important. A report from the Center for Civil Rights Remedies earlier this year showed 45 percent of OKC students and 75 percent of African-American students were suspended in 2012. An internal audit showed that suspension rates were still too high in the 2014-15 school year.

Superintendent Robert Neu leads the district as it works on the problem, but there has been pushback from teachers who are concerned that their most potent punishment will be taken away, leaving them at the mercy of that barbarous creature known as The Teenager.

2016 prediction: With continued worries about a crackdown by the federal government, OKCPS will find itself turning to the only men capable of turning around a school system gone awry: actors Jim Belushi, Tom

Presidential candidate Donald Trump is already kind of a freak show, so when his “plain talk” arrived at the Oklahoma State Fair in September, we all knew how special it could be.

“We’re going to win so much, you’re going to get tired of winning!” the inexplicable Republican front-runner told an estimated crowd of 5,000, who ate it up like it was bacon-wrapped corn on the cob, dipped in batter, fried and on a stick.

But did we fly too close to the sun with this one? How can the 2016 Great State Fair of Oklahoma compare to hosting Trump?

2016 prediction: Trump will attempt to return to next year’s fair but will be interrupted by someone even crazier: Kanye West-Kardashian (yes, he’ll take her name next year), who promises to let Trump finish before commandeering the microphone for a filiblistering five hours of Garth Brooks and Chris Gaines karaoke.

continued on next page

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 9

Chicken 4. Thou shalt not botch executions.

Killing people — it’s bad. It’s actually on the list of the Ten Commandments they took off the Capitol grounds, so you know it’s a big one. But despite its inclusion on that notable list, Oklahomans take a somewhat more lax view on the subject for people already convicted of killing people.

But if we get past the whole, “Should we even be doing this?” angle of capital punishment, there’s a general consensus that if you’re going to do a job, you should do it well. In 2015, Oklahoma did not do it well.

Last year, the State of Oklahoma put to death convicted murderer Clayton Lockett, except he died of a heart attack after the lethal injection procedure went pear-shaped. Another convicted murderer who was supposed to be put to death after Lockett, Charles Warner, got a reprieve until January.

But if the Oklahoma Department of Corrections thought it had figured things out in the intervening months, it was wrong.

Warner did not writhe on the gurney as Lockett did, but his execution did last 18 minutes, and he told those in attendance, “My body is on fire” and “It feels like acid.”

Turns out the state used an unapproved drug in the three-drug cocktail: potassium acetate instead of potassium chloride. It almost happened again Sept. 30 with Richard Glossip, who was sentenced to die for his role in a murder-for-hire plot.

Now, all state executions are on hold until at least 2016.

2016 prediction: We like to imagine that if Gov. Mary Fallin would just go on and give her blessing already (geez!), Attorney General Scott Pruitt, fed up with having to wait for people to be killed, would hand-sew his own black hood and buy a comically ornate ax, offering to lop off heads.

5. Thou shalt not pretend a snowball is definitive proof that climate change isn’t real.

“You think Donald Trump looks stupid?” U.S. Senator Jim Inhofe probably asked this year. “Wait until you see what I do!”

Inhofe, the climate change denier in charge of a committee that could

Fried news cover actually do something about climate change, decided to show everybody what he thought about so-called “global warming” by bringing a snowball onto the floor of the Senate.

Good one, Jim. That’ll show them eggheads what’s what! Except that it earned him a harsh rebuke from TV weatherman Al Roker.

Look, when a guy who is famous for wishing old people a happy birthday and having accidentally defecated in his pants at the White House (Roker, not Inhofe, as far as we know) starts telling you to stop being a jackass, maybe it’s time to listen.

2016 prediction: In defiance

of Big Earthquake, Inhofe proves there’s no such thing as fault lines by bringing in a rock he found in his garden during another of his increasingly beloved Senate showand-tells.

7. Thou shalt not think a food truck festival is immortal.

The crying at the end of H&8th Night Market was heard across social media as people loudly exclaimed that they’d somehow been cheated because they never quite made it to the food truckpacked streets of Midtown.

“Gone too soon,” said everyone who wasn’t involved in putting on the increasingly elaborate monthly event.

“Thank god we only have to do this once a year from now on,” said the people who actually made H&8th happen since 2011.

Perhaps the end of the event marks the passing of an era in Oklahoma City.

Maybe more food trucks will take the cue of Waffle Champion, Patty Wagon and Off the Hook and move into a more permanent space.

Or maybe this will just teach people to go to an event while it’s happening, rather than waiting for some mythical future date when they can finally make it. (Hint, hint: Go to Heard on Hurd in Edmond.)

2016 prediction: Sensing a need to be filled, Del City will bulldoze an abandoned stretch of land to create enormous festival grounds where Oklahomans will continue their inexplicable habit of driving to eat at a food truck.

6. Thou shalt stop having sex in public.

Keeping it local is great. But more importantly, keep it indoors. That’s a message sorely lacking in Oklahoma City in 2015, as multiple couples were arrested for having sex in public.

First, in April, Kenneth Dale Watson II and Petra Dawn Stephens consummated their relationship in the front yard with, at the very least, an extreme bump and/or grind.

They also were, according to police, intoxicated.

Then, in October, an officer came across Latoya Jewel Gaede and Christopher Eugene Randles engaged in overtly affectionate activity. Gaede told the officer, “I am Indian and consecrating the ground, and this is now Indian land.” So, there’s that.

It’s no secret that Oklahoma is a very sexy state in the middle of the sexiest part of the country, but that’s no excuse for boning in public zoning.

2016 prediction: An enterprising Oklahoman will invent a portable building with noise-canceling insulation for those who just can’t wait to get home before getting it on.

10 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

There is a law against “the presence of horsemeat mixed and commingled with the meat of cattle, sheep, swine or goats in hamburger, sausage or other processed meat products.” So, that’s cool.

But why rely on old, possibly fake dumb laws when our state legislators are so excited to introduce new, absolutely real dumb laws for us to bemoan? This was a banner year for stupid legislation. Sen. Roger Thompson, R-Okemah, introduced a bill this year that would protect Oklahoma teachers who want to say “Merry Christmas,” despite there being no documented account of a teacher being punished for saying “Merry Christmas.”

Sen. Nathan Dahm, R-Broken Arrow, wanted to repeal the bill that named the watermelon as our state vegetable. Sure, a watermelon is a fruit, but using precious time repealing a bill that matters to 0.0 percent of our residents is pretty fruity, too. (It didn’t pass, by the way.)

Then there’s Sen. Joseph Silk, R-Broken Bow, who authored the Oklahoma Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 2015, which would legalize discrimination based on sexual orientation. Jesus, Joe. Get a hobby.

Fallin signed Senate Bill 809 to prevent any municipality from unilaterally banning fracking. Sorry about those quakes, folks.

You know Fallin, right? She’s the second-term governor and former Representative who couldn’t recall the three branches of government during a speech at the Tulsa Chamber of Commerce.

But we did get around to increasing the average age of volunteer firefighters, removing the requirement to list a Social Security number when purchasing a firearm, doing something to promote healthy bees and making it illegal for a foster parent to have sex with foster children 19 years old or younger — okay, that last one is good.

2016 prediction: As the state

faces a $900 million budget shortfall, we can be sure that our lawmakers will cut it out with all these frivolous laws and concentrate on what they do best, which is cutting taxes. (Womp, womp.)

8. Thou shalt not pass so many dumb laws.

Supposedly, there’s a state law that says you’re not allowed to take a bite of someone else’s hamburger, though we have yet to actually find it.

9. Thou shalt watch out for tornadoes full of tigers.

God bless our local meteorologists.

Whether it’s accidentally directing people to flee into the path of a tornado or taking a normal winter storm and calling it a snowpocalypse, they always find ways to entertain us.

And this year, in the midst of a particularly rough stretch of severe weather (Don’t worry, Inhofe; there’s no way climate change has anything to do with record flooding!), we were treated to something far better than the Gary England Drinking Game or Mike Morgan’s sparkly tie.

We got a tigernado.

When a twister hit Tiger Safari in Tuttle, police cautioned that wild animals might be on the loose, and local news outlets absolutely lost their minds. For nearly a half hour, they indulged in an improvised casting call for the next big Syfy channel original movie.

Of course, there was no tigernado.

The animals were quickly rounded up with nary a mauling to report.

2016 prediction: After a disposal well is placed too close to the Oklahoma City Animal Shelter building, we finally will experience a Kitten Quake!

10. Thou shalt not build an entire economy on oil and gas.

everything else we own into the oil and natural gas basket, and its bottom is falling out.

The state’s economy shrank in the second quarter, in part due to energy losses and a whopping 4 percent reduction in the gross domestic product.

Oklahoma workers already were making less money than almost anyone else, but now they’re losing jobs, too.

Powerhouse employers like Chesapeake Energy Corporation and Devon Energy Corporation laid off workers as prices for natural gas plummeted to 1999 levels.

And oil is trading below $37 a barrel, which we haven’t seen since the 2009 recession.

Fewer jobs mean fewer taxes and an increased need for government services, potentially putting an already-strapped-for-cash state in the crosshairs of a serious meltdown.

2016 prediction: Oil prices go up! Jobs return! Wages increase while inflation stays neutral!

Trucks drive around distributing free iPhones! We will finally defeat death and become immortal!

Well, we can hope, right?

‘TIS THE SEASON TO GIVE Donate before December 31st

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” goes the old saying.

Forget eggs. Oklahoma has been piling chickens, henhouses and pretty much

Give at www.kgou.org

David Hamilton KGOU listener & giver

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 11

commentary Ga ze tte sta ff / F I L E

Public school teacher pay reality check

By Jennifer Chancellor

Public debate over funding public education, including teacher pay, has hit a crescendo in recent months. Teacher shortages, low pay, a lack of competitive learning environments, increased class sizes and a general lack of understanding of what public school teachers do contribute to escalating public criticism and political rhetoric.

Misinformation weighs heavily in these sparring matches, which often draw in lawmakers, community leaders, parents and metro residents. But they most affect our children and, by proxy, our city’s own stability and future.

Following a recent guest commentary from Oklahoma City Public Schools teacher Felix P. Linden Jr. (“An education in math,” Dec. 2, Oklahoma Gazette), the Gazette received quite a few letters to the editor that consistently and incorrectly cited how many days Oklahoma City Public Schools teachers are required to work each school year.

The confusion comes from an assumption that the student attendance calendar is identical to an educator’s and teachers’ workdays begin and end when the bell rings.

Both are flatly incorrect.

On average, American teachers work 53 hours per week, according to 20132014 data from Scholastic’s Primary

Sources report, which surveyed 20,000 public school teachers.

Let’s stop arguing that educators are selfish, entitled, overpaid, vacationhogging whiners. They are not. Let’s stop name-calling the people who dedicate their lives to teaching our children.

Nationally, 98 percent of surveyed teachers agreed that “teaching is more than a profession; it is how they make a difference in the world — one child at a time.” Eighty-eight percent of Oklahoma teachers said they believe “the rewards of teaching outweigh the challenges.”

Ninety percent also say they’re satisfied (45 percent) or very satisfied (45 percent) in their careers.

They’re not teachers because they enjoy long holidays and summer breaks, either. Nor do their schedules allow them to work multiple full- or part-time jobs.

Examination of Primary Sources survey results by The Washington Post shows “bell-to-bell” work hours simply aren’t feasible for most teachers.

On average, they spend around three additional work hours a day — before and after school and on weekends — grading homework, attending meetings, prepping classrooms, helping students, readying course plans, mentoring and collaborating. That’s 53 hours per week, on average. According to the Post,

teachers who advise extracurricular clubs, coach sports or teach things like band, yearbook and journalism work even longer days: 11 hours and 20 minutes, on average.

Oklahoma’s public education system is underfunded and lacks the appropriate infrastructure to enable our youth to become productive and employed members of our own community. It’s almost as if we punish youth for having dedicated, working-class parents and chasten teachers because we know their dedication keeps them from abandoning our youth and our city’s future.

In fact, 99 percent of Oklahoma teachers surveyed said their jobs extend beyond academics to include making a difference in students’ lives and helping youth reach full potential, enforce good citizenship, build resilience and develop social skills.

“They generally work school hours when students are present and use nights and weekends to prepare lessons and grade papers. Most do not work during the summer,” a 2014 report summary from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics said of teachers.

So, even the government — pay attention, lawmakers — admits there is a lot of work that can’t be done between daily school bells. And, to be fair, let’s

Opinions expressed on the commentary page, in letters to the editor and elsewhere in this newspaper are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of ownership or management.

account for those summer vacation calendar days and spread those 53-hour workweeks across that downtime.

Everyone knows that is not how overtime works, but we’ll do it anyway for the sake of argument. On average, teachers still work close to 45 hours a week.

Seventy-four percent of Primary Sources survey respondents in Oklahoma feel as though “opinions of teachers like me” are heard and valued in their schools.

But numbers drop to 38 percent at the district level and a dismal 4 percent at the state or national level.

The data is overwhelming, and there is little room for interpretation.

Almost 700,000 youth are enrolled in prekindergarten through 12th grade at public schools in more than 530 districts across the state, according to December 2014 Oklahoma State Department of Education numbers. Oklahoma City Public Schools was the largest district in the state during the 2014-15 school year, with over 45,000 youth enrolled.

It takes a lot of training and labor to properly educate our children, and teachers deserve far better than the ridicule and contempt we’re currently providing them.

Jennifer Chancellor is editor-in-chief of Oklahoma Gazette and has worked in journalism for over two decades. Both her mother and stepfather are retired public school teachers.

LETTERS Oklahoma Gazette provides an open forum for the discussion of all points of view in its Letters to the Editor section.

The Gazette reserves the right to edit letters for length and clarity. Letters can be mailed, faxed, emailed to jchancellor@ okgazette.com or sent online at okgazette. com. Include a city of residence and contact number for verification.

Clever by half

Donald Trump’s campaign rhetoric regularly makes me sick at my stomach.

On the day he officially announced his candidacy, he demonized Hispanics as rapists and murderers.

He also has mocked and belittled Rosie O’Donnell, Carly Fiorina and Megan Kelly. I’m not a big fan of any of them, but that’s not the point. He thought calling Rosie a fat pig was really clever. His

misogynist brain clearly doesn’t “get it” at all. He then mocked a physically disabled reporter and then dissembled by claiming he didn’t know him.

Now, he spews hate at all Muslims and proposes keeping all Muslims out of the country simply because of their religion. Radical Islamist terrorists determined to destroy Western civilization are one thing. Demonizing all Muslims — the vast majority of whom are decent and stand-up people — is quite different.

It hit me that Trump’s verbal brutality and recklessness is beyond disgusting after I read text messages from two friends — one from Bangladesh (now a U.S. citizen) and one from Saudi Arabia (recently graduated from the University of Central Oklahoma) — who are both honorable and decent, salt-of-the-earth types.

As Trump spews his cruel misogynist, xenophobic and racist hatred, his poll

12 | December 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

numbers with Republican voters often rise. He has remained the frontrunner in the GOP race for president, doing inestimable damage to our democracy and our country. His calling card is to fan the flames of intolerance, bigotry, hate and fear. Nearly every day, Trump stretches the exercise of his free speech to the breaking point. He’s lucky that he

enjoys protected rights that in many cases he would take away from decent and honorable human beings.

I’d like to point out to him how fortunate he is to have the Secret Service, who are paid for by taxpayers he demonizes, protecting him.

— Tom Guild Edmond

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Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 13

okg picks are events

recommended by Oklahoma Gazette editorial staff members.

For full calendar listings, go to okgazette.com.

NYE Round-Up Thursday

BOOKS

GA Z E TT E STA FF / FI L E

First Folio! The Book that Gave Us Shakespeare, to see, or not to see: that is the question; published in 1623, Mr. William Shakespeares Comedies, Histories, & Tragedies is a collection of 36 plays by ol’ Billy Shakes himself, considered to be the most reliable publication of all the plays and a leading factor in Shakespeare’s prominence today. Sam Noble Oklahoma Museum of Natural History, 2401 Chautauqua Ave., Norman, 325-4712, snomnh.ou.edu.

Story Time with Julie, kid friendly story time with the latest children’s books, 10:15 -11 a.m., Jan. 2. Full Circle Bookstore, 1900 Northwest Expressway, 842-2900, fullcirclebooks.com. SAT

FILM Kiki’s Delivery Service, (1989, Japan, dir. Hayao Miyazaki) this Miyazaki classic animated film tells the story of Kiki, a young witch in training begins a baked goods delivery service and learns a lot about herself on the way, 5:30 p.m., Dec. 30 Oklahoma City Museum of Art, 415 Couch Drive, 236-3100, okcmoa.com. WED Ponyo, (2008, Japan, dir. Hayao Miyazaki) fish are often a great pet for children: they’re tiny, easy to take care of, and make little to no mess... unless, that is, your fish isn’t a fish at all and turns out to be a goldfish princess that turns into a human girl, 2 p.m., Dec. 30. Oklahoma City Museum of Art, 415 Couch Drive, 236-3100, okcmoa.com. WED Porco Rosso, (1992, Japan, dir. Hayao Miyazaki) Michael Keaton stars in this film as the titular Porco Rosso, a veteran World War I Italian fighter pilot cursed to bear the appearance of an anthropomorphic pig, which seems as good a reason as any to see this movie, 2 p.m., Dec. 31. Oklahoma City Museum of Art, 415 Couch Drive, 236-3100, okcmoa.com. THU

OKC Thunder vs. Phoenix Suns Times Square isn’t the only place to catch some ball action this New Year’s Eve. The Oklahoma City Thunder is having a home court showdown with the Phoenix Suns 7 p.m. Thursday at Chesapeake Energy Arena, 100 W. Reno Ave. Tickets start at $21 on ticketmaster.com. Visit chesapeakearena.com.

New Year’s Rockford Eve Have your grooviest New Year since ’79 with Rockford Cocktail Den. Maybe prepare with a James Bond movie marathon to ensure your 2016 comes to you shaken, not stirred. The party starts at 8 p.m. at 317 NW 23rd St. Tickets run $37.92-$64.29 at eventbrite.com. Call 601-4248 or visit rockfordokc.com or facebook.com/rockfordokc.

’16 on 16th

In Jackson Heights, (2015, US, dir. Frederick Wiseman) this immersive documentary showcases one of the most racially, culturally and linguistically diverse yet compact areas in the United States, a catch-all community for new immigrants to the United States, 2 p.m., Jan. 2; 5 p.m., Jan. 3. Oklahoma City Museum of Art, 415 Couch Drive, 236-3100, okcmoa.com. SAT-SUN

MARK H ANCOCK / FIL E

Hook, (US, 1991, dir. Steven Spielberg) Dustin Hoffman dons eye shadow, a feather hat and a ridiculous mustache to terrorize a now-adult Peter Pan by kidnapping his children in this Spielberg classic, 7 p.m., Jan. 5. Harkins Theatre, 150 E. Reno Ave., 231-4747, harkinstheatres.com. TUE

HAPPENINGS Through the Eyes of the Lynx: Galileo, Natural History and the Americas, The Academy of the Lynx was one of the world’s earliest scientific societies, whose star pupil happened to be Renaissance artist and scientist (among other vocations) Galileo Galilei; this exhibit celebrates the contributions of Galileo and the Academy of the Lynx in the areas of natural science and history, Aug. 1-Jan. 18.

Sam Noble Oklahoma Museum of Natural History, 2401 Chautauqua Ave., Norman, 325-4712, snomnh.ou.edu. SAT Crossroads of Commerce, Oklahoma history buffs won’t want to miss this exhibit showcasing the growth and development of Oklahoma’s economy from 1716 to statehood, the Dust Bowl, the depression and all the way to present day. Oklahoma History Center, 800 Nazih Zuhdi Drive, 521-2491, okhistory.org/historycenter. MON Paseo First Friday, join the Paseo Arts District’s nearly two dozen participating galleries for their many art opening receptions, special themed exhibits, free refreshments, and hundreds of other art lovers just like yourself, we hope, or we aren’t really sure why you’re still reading this, 6 p.m., Jan. 1. Paseo Arts District, 3022 Paseo St., 525-2688, thepaseo.com. FRI Dance Lessons at Friends, country dance lessons and live country band. Friends Restaurant & Club, 3705 W. Memorial Ave., Suite 604, 751-4057. TUE

14 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

This is the kind of party for which the Beastie Boys wanted you to fight for your right. Check out live local music, beer and cocktails from 8 p.m. until the fat lady sings “Auld Lang Syne.” Tickets are $16 or $60 for VIP. Head over to the Plaza District at 16th Street and Gatewood Avenue.

Visit plazadistrict.org for tickets and info.

The Jungle Dinner Party This place is way too upscale for associations with Axl Rose it receives as a result of its name. It is also host to one of the highest value tickets in town this Thursday, with $10 admission including appetizers, an entrée, dessert and complimentary champagne at midnight. Head to The Jungle, 121 W. Harrison Ave., in Guthrie at 7 p.m. Tickets are available at eventbrite.com. Call 659-6672.

Tux & Chucks Start your New Year off right: with BBQ mac ’n’ cheese, 30 rotating taps and a tuxedo T-shirt. Slaughter’s Hall has got you covered on all fronts. Head over to 221 N. Central Ave. around 9 p.m. Thursday for a free tux shirt with your $10 cover and enjoy a toast at midnight. Visit facebook.com/slaughtershall or call 606-6063.

above the clouds, below the waves: films by hayao miyazaki Ponyo (dubbed) weD, Dec 30 | 2:00 p.m.

kiki’s delivery service (subtitled) weD, Dec 30 | 5:30 p.m.

Porco rosso (dubbed)

MA RK HA N COCK / FI LE

Thurs, Dec 31 | 2:00 p.m.

Intro to Making Sushi As the great poet Ke$ha once said, “If you’re one of us, then roll with us.” Many great historians and scientists have argued about the true meaning of these words, but for now, we’ll pretend she was referring to sushi. Join professional sushi chef and possible Ke$ha fan Bryan Sekine to learn his secret recipe and technique for delicious sushi rolls and nigiri. The registration fee is $40 and includes all ingredients and equipment. The class takes place at noon Sunday at Full Moon Sushi and Bistro, 326 E. Main St., in Norman. Call 701-1800 or visit eventbrite.com.

in Jackson heights saT, Jan 2 | 2:00 p.m. sun, Jan 3 | 5:00 p.m.

the winding stream: the carters, the cashes and the course of country music saT, Jan 2 | 7:00 p.m. sun, Jan 3 | 2:00 p.m.

No films friday, JaN 1 For movie descriptions and ticket sales visit www.okcmoa.com

Sunday

FOOD Why Wait? Choose Your Weight, just in time for your New Years resolution that you’re totally, actually, for real going to keep this year, 2 p.m., Jan. 4. Buy For Less, 3501 Northwest Expressway, 9466342, buyforlessok.com. MON The ABC’s of What You Eat: Avocados, avocados, when selected, stored and prepared properly, are the creamy green secret to living forever; truly guacamole seeds are a gift from the gods, 9:30 a.m., Jan. 5. Uptown Grocery Co., 1230 W. Covell Road, Edmond, 509-2700, uptowngroceryco.com. TUE

YOUTH Tape & Tunnels, get psyched for recyclables at the newest exhibit at SMO, where kids can experience an interactive wonderland with packing tape tunnels, bungee cord mazes, and cardboard clubhouses where they can climb, build, and explore. Science Museum Oklahoma, 2100 NE 52nd St., 602-6664, sciencemuseumok.org.

Devon Ice Rink, see how well you fare in a nearly frictionless environment at this year’s Devon ice rink; perhaps you’ll discover a new talent you never knew you had... or maybe you should try, like, knitting or something. Myriad Botanical Gardens, 301 W. Reno Ave., 445-7080, oklahomacitybotanicalgardens.com/events. continued on next page

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 15

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P R OVI DED

Oklahoma Gazette

OKC Land Run Antique Show Over the recent holiday, your relatives might have found your lack of mirrored Victorian china hutch disturbing. Fret no more over your droll and tiresome furniture; OKC Land Run Antique Show is here to jazz up your home and keep your weirdly judgmental mother-in-law off your back on at least one front. The show is 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday in Cox Pavilion at State Fair Park, 3001 General Pershing Blvd. Admission is $3-$6, and children 8 years old and under get in free. Call 918-619-2875 or visit heritageeventcompany.com.

Saturday-Sunday Crafts For Kids, we never could remember if it was red over yellow or yellow on black that wouldn’t kill you, but maybe just stick to this super silly slithering craft snake with rainbow paper loops for a body and googly eyes just to be safe, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., Jan. 2. Lakeshore Learning Store, 6300 N. May Ave., 858-8778, lakeshorelearning.com. SAT Star Lores Snooze, no wars here, just fun, costumes, light sabers and learning about why certain animals glow on this fun and educational all-night safari, 7 p.m., Jan. 2 until 9 a.m., Jan. 3. Oklahoma City Zoo, 2000 Remington Pl. SAT Safari Day Camp, come join the Oklahoma City Zoo for a half-day or day-long safari day camp where you can learn about animals, make new friends and have a one-of-a-kind adventure, 8:30 a.m., Jan. 4. Oklahoma City Zoo, 2000 Remington Pl. MON Art Adventures, children can experience the world of art through stories and projects in this event series; this week’s story will be Purple, Green and Yellow by Robert Munsch with illustrations by Helene Desputeaux, 10:30 A.M., Jan. 5. Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art, 555 Elm Ave., Norman, 325-3272, ou.edu/fjjma. TUE

PERFORMING ARTS Ben Creed, a funny comedian who has absolutely nothing with with either the highly anticipated and surprisingly good Rocky sequel nobody asked for or the multi-platinum American alternative rock band everyone pretends to hate, 8 p.m., Dec. 30; 7:30 p.m., Dec. 31; 8 & 10:30 p.m., Dec. 2. Loony Bin Comedy Club, 8503 N. Rockwell Ave., 239-4242, loonybincomedy.com. WED-SAT Adèle Wolf’s Burlesque & Variety Show, if you are seeking some more adult-friendly New Year's Eve fun, then consider adding a little frisky to your opening night with local burlesque queen Adèle Wolf and a deluge of dolls from all over the U.S., 9 p.m., Dec. 31.

Oklahoma City Contemporary, 3000 General Pershing Blvd. THU

16 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

ACTIVE Snow Tubing Winter Festival, look out below and hold on tight for the thrill of a lifetime; try the novice slope, or if you’re an adrenaline junkie there’s a steeper slope... just don’t touch the yellow snow, noon, 2, 4, & 6 p.m., Dec. 23 & 26-30. Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark, 2 S. Mickey Mantle Drive, 218-1000.

Opening Night Finale 5K, well, this is it: your resolution for 2015 was to run a marathon, but it’s fallen completely by the wayside and time is running out, but OKC Landrunners is here to tell you it’s not too late to reach your goals, 4 p.m., Dec. 31. Bicentennial Park, 500 Couch Drive, 297-3882. THU OKC Thunder vs. Sacramento Kings, California may be in a drought, but the Thunder is bringing a storm to wash away the Kings, 7 p.m., Jan. 4. Chesapeake Energy Arena, 100 W. Reno Ave., 602-8700, chesapeakearena.com. MON Challenge Yourself: Health & Fitness, we all make these crazy unattainable resolutions for ourselves like, “I’m going to lost 50 pounds” or “I’m going to run a marathon,” or, “I’m going to look like a Victoria’s Secret model,” but spoiler alert: you’ll never attain those goals if you don’t even know what you’re doing or where to begin, and that’s where the folks at INTEGRIS come in, 6:30 p.m., Jan. 5. Frederick Douglas Mid-High School, 900 Martin Luther King Ave. TUE OKC Thunder vs. Memphis Grizzlies, the fur is gonna fly next Wednesday as the Thunder take on the Memphis Grizzlies. 8:30 p.m., Jan. 6. Chesapeake Energy Arena, 100 W. Reno Ave., 602-8700, chesapeakearena.com. WED

VISUAL ARTS All in All, you don’t make it onto the wall of the Chesapeake Arena Thunder Family VIP Lounge for nothing; boasting a BFA from State University of New York College, Christie Owen’s organic abstract and modern impressionist acrylic works are displayed all over Oklahoma draw inspiration from natural and industrial textures, from both the organic and the inorganic. Verbode, 415 N. Broadway Ave. #101.

CALL TO COMPARE OUR EVERYDAY LOW RATES Bert Seabourn: American Expressionist, a full-time painter since 1978, Seabourn brings a unique approach to color and line in his postmodern expressionist works which are on display all over the world; of Cherokee descent himself, Seabourn often uses Native subjects and imagery. Gaylord-Pickens Oklahoma Heritage Museum, 1400 Classen Drive, 235-4458, oklahomaheritage.com.

Enter the Matrix: Indigenous Printmakers, exhibition exploring how printmaking has become a matrix for cultural and key figures of artistic exchange. Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art, 555 Elm Ave., Norman, 325-3272, ou.edu/fjjma.

FLUX, enter the mind of artist Denise Duong through her fun and fantastical sketch murals on display this month. JRB Art at The Elms, 2810 N. Walker Ave., 528-6336, jrbartgallery.com.

An Art Show About Nothing, join Jerry, Kramer, and all your friends to celebrate Festivus for the rest of us at this Seinfeld-themed art show, 5 p.m., Jan. 3. Brass Bell Studios, 2500 NW 33rd St., 361-3481, facebook. com/brassbellstudios. SUN James Surls, nature figures prominently in the work of sculptor James Surls, and over the course of four decades, he has developed evocative, hybrid forms in wood, steel and bronze inspired by flowers, the human body, and rock formations. Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art, 555 Elm Ave., Norman, 325-3272, ou.edu/fjjma.

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Retracing, featuring unique works in line and color by Christie Hackler, Beatriz Mayorca, Lisa Jean Allswede and Brandi Downham, brought to you by Fringe, a collective of contemporary women artists in the OKC area. Mainsite Contemporary Art, 122 E. Main St., Norman, 360-1162, mainsite-art.com.

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Schelly’s Aesthetics

Trisha Thompson Adams/Hagan Billigmeier, the art of Trisha Thompson and Hagan Billigmeier are different sides of the same coin; both feature in vivid detail the beauty of organic forms, showcasing bones, insects, and wild creatures, with Thompson’s giving off a decidedly feminine energy and often using bright colors and florals, whereas Billigmeier’s skews more muted, masculine, and distinctly western. DNA Galleries, 1709 NW 16th St., 525-3499, dnagalleries.com.

Schelly Hill, R.N. 405-751-8930

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Watercolors by Jo Woolery, a graduate of Oklahoma State University, Jo Woolery produces dreamy yet detailed paintings of various subjects including portraits of people, animals, and landscapes. 50 Penn Place Gallery, 1900 Northwest Expressway, Suite 113-R, 848-5567, 50pennplacegallery.com.

PR OVI DED

Mongolia, Oklahoma, a small show of landscapes and horse imagery from Mongolia and Oklahoma by photographer David Joshua Jennings. Paseo Gallery One, 2927 Paseo St., 524-4544, facebook.com/paseogalleryone.

The Winding Stream If you ask most twenty-somethings these days what kind of music they enjoy, 99.999 percent of them will shrug and say, “Oh, you know … pretty much anything but country music.” Those twenty-somethings are idiots. The fact is, without country’s roots, we also wouldn’t have a lot of the amazing folk or Southern rock we have today. The Winding Stream: The Carters, The Cashes and The Course of Country Music is a documentary tracing country music’s origins through the original Carter Family and some guy named Johnny Cash, whose performances are peppered throughout the film. See it 7 p.m. Saturday or 2 p.m.

Sunday at Oklahoma City Museum of Art, 415 Couch Drive.

Tickets are $7-$9. Visit okcmoa.com or call 236-3100.

Saturday-Sunday

For okg music picks see page 34

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 17

18 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

life food & drink

Tropical vacation Let your mouth take a holiday with Taqueria La Tropicana’s enticing selection of Mexican favorites.

Taqueria La Tropicana 1022 SW 29th St. | 634-8231 What works: Tacos de Papa, sopes and regular old delicious tacos.

What needs work: The hours.

Tip: It might be easier to find parking if you approach from the west.

“You didn’t like your soup?”

After leaving behind a pretty large bowl of pozole at Taqueria La Tropicana, 1022 SW 29th St., another patron on the way out of the restaurant wanted to know if there was something wrong.

I told him it was fine, but not exactly what I wanted. Some pozoles are so good you can scarcely slow down to chew the hominy and chunks of pork. This pozole ($8.99) was OK, but not enough to stuff myself with, especially after everything else I’d eaten.

The pork chunks were huge, but pretty fatty, and some still had a bit of connective tissue and bone. Of all the things I’ve gotten used to with food, working my way around cartilage is still a challenge. Even more so with soup, which runs the risk of splash-back if something flops back into the bowl.

The broth was mild, but pleasant.

The hominy was plentiful, if that’s your thing. It’s not a bad pozole, but it’s not my favorite in the city, so let’s keep our focus on the things you’ll love.

Taqueria La Tropicana doesn’t look like much from the outside, but the always-full parking lot is a testament to the food it’s serving inside. The walls are bright red with festive paintings, the tables are clean and the menu above the counter is pretty clear — if you have a grasp of basic menu Spanish.

For instance, the 5 Tacos de Papa ($7.99) are five tacos of potato. They’re mashed potato tacos. If that doesn’t sound good to you, I’m sorry you lost all your taste buds in the tragic Mouth Fire of Aught-Nine.

Crispy fried corn shells surround tender mashed potatoes with a sprinkling of shredded lettuce and a slice of avocado on top. Slot in a slice of pickled jalapeño and you’re holding three bites of glory.

For a slightly different experience, I recommend the sopes ($6.99) with your choice of meat. On the plate are three crispy, golden boats sailing the seas of carb. On top are a smear of beans, meat, lettuce, tomato and avocado. You can try to cut it in half to share with your friend, but what kind of friend only gives you half a sope?

The meat selection is uniformly excellent, from what I’ve tried. The asada (steak) is pretty standard, which is good,

p hotos by m a rk ha n coc k

By Greg Elwell

Tacos de papa with a bowl of pozole and a plate of three tacos

because carne asada is wonderful. The carnitas (crispy pulled pork) are some of the best I’ve had — tender, a slight chew and deeply tasty. The barbacoa (shredded beef) is fatty and moist but really comes alive with the application of Tropicana’s three sauces.

The lengua (beef tongue) is tip-top.

Cooked incorrectly, lengua can be chewy, tough and gross. At this taqueria, it was perfect, with a look that was similar to the asada but with a slightly softer texture.

Most tacos are $1.50, but the lengua and tripa (tripe) tacos are $2. So for $4.50 or $5, you can have a pretty quick, very tasty meal.

Plan that meal carefully, though.

Taqueria La Tropicana has one major factor holding it back: Its hours are crazy.

The owners of the restaurant also own the garage next door, so the taqueria is closed for breakfast and lunch.

Monday-Wednesday, it opens at 3:30 p.m. and keeps cooking until 2 a.m.

Thursday-Sunday, it opens at 8 p.m. and closes at 4 a.m. (Take heed, night owls.)

Barbacoa, carnitas and lengua tacos

Parking can also be tricky, because the lot is small and fills up fast.

Be patient or be willing to walk a short way and you’ll be fine.

One item I didn’t try but my pozole-concerned friend recommended is the Tostada de Camaron (shrimp tostada) for $3.99. His enthusiasm seemed so genuine, I figured I should pass the plaudits on to you.

And, of course, if you’re looking for a larger taco-type meal, the tortas (sandwiches) and burritos (c’mon, you know what a burrito is) are $5.50.

There are also corn dogs and chicken nuggets on the menu, but please don’t get them. Don’t let your kids get them.

They might be the best chicken nuggets and dogged corns on the planet, but this is a taqueria — get some tacos.

Squeeze some lime on top and enjoy the simple, glorious taste of a truly well-made classic.

There’s more to explore on Tropicana’s menu — a task for which I am eager to volunteer. And for those willing to take a short drive for some excellent tacos, I’m guessing the volunteer list will fill up quickly.

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 19

life food & Drink

You’ve been served Katiebug’s Shaved Ice and Hot Chocolate took a crazy idea and kept growing.

Valid on dinners up to $11 99 only.

Discount taken off equal or lesser purchase. Limit 2 coupons per person. Not valid with any other offers.

Expires 1/6/16.

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NW 50th & MeridiAN | 947.7277 oNliNe orderiNg NoW AvAilAble!

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By Greg Elwell

Editor’s note: You’ve been served is an occasional feature spotlighting chefs, bartenders and others involved in making and serving food in Oklahoma City.

When Melissa and Katie Morgan had the idea for Katiebug’s Shaved Ice and Hot Chocolate, everyone told them not to do it.

“Everyone told us we were crazy,” Melissa said.

The trailer they had bought was missing an end and they didn’t have recipes or experience, said Katie. But she and her mother were determined, and after a year and a half, the business has been so successful that they’ve purchased a second trailer to cover twice as many events.

The origin story of Katiebug’s is everevolving. They’d always wanted a family business, and Katie, fresh from college, wanted a job. Melissa, a stay-at-home mom, was passionate about food trucks.

They were at a soccer practice when they saw a sno-cone stand and decided to give it a try.

Within a week, Katie said, they had bought the trailer.

It should have been a disaster.

Even now, they’re a bit baffled by their success. A trailer that just sells high-end, organic, vegan, GMO-free sno-cones in Oklahoma City? Madness.

But madness is contagious, it seems, because Katie and Melissa’s seemingly niche product has inspired fans who drive an hour or more for sno-cones with homemade syrups of blackberry and basil and lavender lemonade.

After opening in the middle of summer 2014, they saw a surge of interest and wondered what they could do to stay open when temperatures dipped.

“So what works in winter?” Katie asked. “Let’s try hot chocolate.”

Their rich, creamy hot chocolate — best with their homemade, artisan marshmallows — proved to be the right track. The key, Melissa said, is refusing to compromise.

Serving success

Not everyone is looking for products that check off so many boxes on the allergen or restricted diet lists, she said, but plenty of people are looking for at least one of those things. And even if customers don’t care about vegan or organic ingredients, everything still tastes so good.

20 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

mark hancock

CHECK OUT OUR NEW MENU ITEMS!

That’s not to say that it has been from left Melissa and Katie Morgan nonstop success. Last summer, the truck of Katiebug’s Shaved Ice and Hot instituted a Fearless Friday with some Chocolate with some of their really crazy flavors — akin to the 5th marshmallows Amendment taco at Big Truck Tacos — and a few were real flops.

To keep up with hot chocolate and “Beet did not go over well,” Katie marshmallow prep, she worked from 6 said. a.m. Monday morning to midnight on But Melissa said the ability to go Wednesday, only taking breaks to sleep. off-book is what makes the otherwise Meanwhile, both trucks are still going to tedious job of making shaved ice and hot events across the city, which means no chocolate fun. one is getting much rest.

“The weird flavors are just who we But if the Morgan family is are,” she said. “It fills a need in me to do exhausted, it is also happy. something creative.”

“We’re hard workers,” Katie said.

Much like veteran musicians get sick “And we get to work together. You can’t of playing the same songs over and over be trapped all day in a 6-by-10 trailer again, so too do the Morgans get tired of with someone if you don’t get along.” making yet another strawberry-lemonade As unconventional as it is, work shaved ice. is also family time for the owners of “It’s like 70 percent of our business,” Katiebug’s. Now they just need another Katie said. “It kills crazy idea that me.” everyone tells them With winter not to do.

Hot, sweet in full gear, the Learn more Katiebug’s is very proud of its trucks are back to about Katiebug’s hot chocolate, though it isn’t selling varieties of Shaved Ice and vegan. A mixture of a drinking hot chocolate and Hot Chocolate chocolate and a cocoa, the marshmallows, at facebook.com/ product contains sustainably which contain no katiebugsshavedice, sourced chocolate and hormone corn syrup, are on Twitter at and antibiotic-free milk. kosher and use @katiebugsokc or by “We don’t serve anything grass-fed gelatin. calling 397-4812. we wouldn’t make for And Melissa said the ourselves,” Katie Morgan said. workload is insane.

food briefs

SMALL PLATES & WINE, PERFECT BEFORE OR AFTER YOUR SHOW.

by Greg Elwell

MARK HANCOCK / f il e

Open Sundays 5PM - 9PM 1 block from Civic Center & OKC Museum of Art

Gift Cards now Available

Speakeasy saved

305 N. Walker

patroNookc.com

405.702.7660

New Year’s Eve was going to be the final night for 51st Street Speakeasy, 1114 NW 51st St., until three employees came together to get the torch from former owner Kevin Sine.

The business will close as Sine moves on, but only for a little while, said Greg Bustamante, who purchased it with his brother Mike and partner Henri Bailey.

The bar will retain its name while making a few changes to improve the customer experience. When it opens again in mid-January, they’ll have done some remodeling work and made the entire first floor nonsmoking.

Going forward, they’re planning to bring more live music shows to the Speakeasy while keeping the ever-popular Lost Ogle Trivia. And the kitchen will return in time, including future plans for lunch hours.

“My brother and I have been here almost since the beginning, for eight years, and we’d never done lunch,” Bustamante said.

For Sine, it’s a bittersweet reprieve. He said he’s glad the bar will remain open, “though [he will] have to pay for [his] drinks, now.”

A few years in, Waffle Champion, 1212 N. Walker Ave., Suite 100, has become the champion of Midtown breakfasts, inspiring long lines of folks waiting patiently for sweet and savory waffle sandwiches. But to the chagrin of many, the hours shut out the late-night crowd.

Owner Todd Woodruff is now opening things up with an updated menu and a new nighttime waffle window for diners looking for a preor post-bar snack.

Pizza Grilled Cheese, Cheeseburger Mac with grass-fed bison and Ancho BBQ Pulled Pork, as well as a host of new dessert options, have been added to the menu. Gone are a few of the makeyour-own options.

“It started off, I wanted to take the restaurant 24 hours. I think OKC is ready for a locally owned, independent, 24-hour restaurant,” he said. “But the staff thought I was insane.”

Adding a walk-up window on Friday and Saturday nights from 7 p.m. to 2 a.m. is a way to expand organically. Once the new night window catches on, Waffle Champion will open the service on more nights.

Hot help VI Marketing and Branding’s 13th annual Carne Diem Chili Cook-Off filled a lot of bellies and broke records with its biggest ever donation to United Way of Central Oklahoma.

More than 600 people came out in October to sample chili from local restaurants and amateur competitors to help raise the funds.

The professional division’s Carne Cup went to the Flying Pig food truck, while VI employee Brooke Ouzts won the amateur title.

Second place in the professional division went to Bricktown Brewery and third to Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill. Amateur runnersup were Clay Miller in second and Jonathan Blevins in third. David Hinds won best booth décor for his ingenious Netflix and Chili theme.

lunch & dinner 6014 N. May 947.7788 zorbasokc.coM

VI MARKETING AND BRANDING / Provided

Champion changes

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 21

Hot stuff On a scale of 1 to 5, how much do you hate your mouth? Think about it. That jerk is always getting you into trouble. He never says the right thing on dates. He laughed at your great-aunt’s funeral. I say it’s time we teach him a lesson he won’t soon forget. Let’s go to these restaurants where “Hurts So Good” plays on an endless loop in the kitchen and shut him up.

— by Greg Elwell, photos by Garett Fisbeck and Mark Hancock

Tana Thai

Sheesh Mahal

10700 N. May Ave. | 749-5590

4621 N. May Ave. | 778-8469

Queen of Sheba Restaurant 2308 N. MacArthur Blvd. | 606-8616

Pad Kee Mao literally translates as “drunken noodles” because Thai food is awesome. Drunk, tipsy, hungover or stone-cold sober, these fat, saucy noodles from Tana Thai will satisfy your need for carbs and help clear your head with spicy-hot peppers. When will America get on board with this trend? There’s no reason Hot Pockets shouldn’t be called Stoned Meat Sleeves. No reason at all.

22 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

Business at Sheesh Mahal has been picking up, as evidenced by its new video screen menu and general upkeep of the old building. But it shouldn’t come as any surprise, because this Indian and Pakistani culinary treasure is turning out some of Oklahoma City’s best spicy dishes. You can ask to keep the heat down, but it tastes too good to stop eating, even if you’re sweating profusely and steam starts piping out your ears.

Do you like Ethopian food? Yes. You do.

It doesn’t matter that you’ve never had Ethiopian food. You like it. You like the plates of spicy chicken and beef in exotic spices. You like the spongy, slightly sour injera bread you use to pinch the foods instead of using a boring fork or spoon.

You don’t like the parking lot that Queen of Sheba Restaurant is in, because it’s a nightmare for tires, but otherwise, yes, you quite like Ethiopian food, thanks.

Szechuan Bistro 1010 W. Memorial Road | 752-8889 szechuanbistro.com

Here’s how good Szechuan Bistro is with spice: It can make bok choy taste good.

Beef? Simple. You can make chicken taste like anything. But bok choy? ’Tis the work of a wizard! (Or just a really skilled chef.) If you like sesame chicken, that’s fine, but flip to the back of the menu and delve into a wonderland of dishes you’ve never seen before. And if you like it hot, well ... ask.

Abel’s Mexican Restaurant

Ron’s Hamburgers & Chili

Royal Bavaria

5822 NW 50th St. | 491-0911

4723 N. May Ave. | 943-7667

Last time I saw Jim, he was still hunkered over a plate of Tacos Calvillo at Abel’s Mexican Restaurant.

“Good-bye,” we said, but he didn’t even look up. There was another plate of tiny, tasty tacos showing up and he was pouring Abel’s special salsa over each one.

Sometimes I still think of Jim. He’s probably still there. I can’t blame him a bit.

The lawsuit is over. Turns out the owners of Ron’s Hamburgers & Chili could not prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the term “Netflix and chill” was based on Ron’s classic menu of enormous burgers and big bowls of spicy chili. But if you’ve ever had an order of the Spanish fries full of fried onions and jalapeños, you certainly know that you cannot do anything but chill after leaving Ron’s.

3401 S. Sooner Road, Moore | 799-7666 royal-bavaria.com

“The German people basically invented spice” is something a German person might tell you. They’re always claiming this or that was originally German. Just smile and nod and take another bite of your grobe bratwürste mit sauerkraut und kartoffelbrei, enjoying the flavor of the coarsely ground spicy veal and pork sausages and thinking, Sure. I’ll bet you invented mashed potatoes, too. And they did. They really did. Maybe.

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Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 23

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life culture

Trendsetter An exhibit featuring work by the world’s most influential writer runs through January in Norman.

By Wilhelm Murg

P HOTOS BY FOLG ER S HA KES PEARE LI BRARY / PROVI DED

First Folio! The Book that Gave Us Shakespeare 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday-Saturday, 1-5 p.m.

Sunday; through Jan. 30 Sam Noble Oklahoma Museum of Natural History 2401 Chautauqua Ave., Norman samnoblemuseum.ou.edu 325-4712 Free-$8 Note: Visit samnoblemuseum.ou.edu to learn more about events tied to this exhibit.

To celebrate the 400-year anniversary of his death in 1616, William Shakespeare will go on a national tour.

Sam Noble Oklahoma Museum of Natural History presents First Folio! The Book that Gave Us Shakespeare Monday through Jan. 30 at 2401 Chautauqua Ave. in Norman.

It showcases one of 82 original folios held by the Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington, D.C., which houses the largest collection of First Folios known in existence.

Only 233 of an estimated 750 are known to have survived.

Events celebrating everything Bard-related are planned around the exhibition and feature hands-on activities, dramatic presentations, workshops, lectures, panel discussions and a medieval ball.

Mr. William Shakespeares Comedies, Histories, & Tragedies, now commonly referred to as The First Folio, was published in 1623, seven years after his death.

Compiled and edited by two of the author’s friends and fellow thespians, John Heminge and Henry Condell, it holds 36 of the 38 plays now agreed upon as canon.

Eighteen of those, including The Tempest, Macbeth, Measure for Measure, Twelfth Night and Julius Caesar, were printed for the first time in this collection.

Folios were large, expensive, prestigious works sold as loose leaves.

Buyers paid a bookbinder to put them together. At least four of the Folger collection folios are unbound.

To complement The First Folio, a copy of Shakespeare’s Second Folio, published in 1632, also will be on display.

It comes from the University of

left An engraving of William Shakespeare that Martin Droeshout made for the cover of The First Folio. above A bound edition of Mr. William Shakespeares Comedies, Histories, & Tragedies, published in 1623.

Oklahoma’s John and Mary Nichols Rare Books and Special Collections at Bizzell Memorial Library. “[Along with OU’s College of Arts and Sciences and Center for Medieval & Renaissance Studies,] we have ultimately become the venue for a Shakespearian party for the entire month,” said Elyssa Mann of the Sam Noble Museum. “We want to bring in people of all ages, so we created all these events for families. ... It’s going to be pretty exciting.”

She said that Shakespeare can be intimidating to modern readers due to the archaic language.

“Shakespeare’s stories influenced everything we see around us,” she said.

Mann mentioned that the 1999 hit movie 10 Things I Hate About You is an adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew.

“What a lot of people don’t realize is Shakespeare is everywhere and they’ve already been exposed,” she said. “So this is a great opportunity to come and learn a little more about these stories that have influenced our lives.”

All official First Folio! events are free to the public, including those scheduled during regular museum hours.

This exhibition is touring all 50 states and Washington, D.C.; Puerto Rico; and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Jan. 16 events

Such Stuff as Dreams Are Made On launches events related to the First Folio!

The Book that Gave Us Shakespeare exhibit 1-2 p.m. Jan. 16 in Kerr Auditorium at the museum. Kelly Damphousse, dean of OU’s College of Arts and Sciences, welcomes guests and opens discussions and presentations from professor David Anderson, who will speak on the history of The First Folio, and drama professors Tom Huston Orr and Alissa Mortimer, who will talk about how plays move from the page to the stage.

From 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. that day, the museum offers costumed drama students performing Shakespeare, as well as improvisation and activities for children, including coloring, ruff-making, costumes to try on, brass-rubbing and book making.

Though individual plays will not be performed in full, there will be an OU-led production of The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet — as in the feline of Dr. Seuss fame — 3-4 p.m. Jan. 16 at Kerr Auditorium.

“That’s going to be really cool. I’m really excited to see it myself,” Mann said. “I think we all have an idea of what it might be, but I think we’ll be really surprised when it actually happens.”

The day ends with the Medieval Fair Midwinter Ball, 6:30-10:30 p.m. in the Great Hall at the museum. The ball isn’t part of official First Folio! events, and admission is $40-$45. Learn more at medievalfair.org.

Jan. 22

Museum members and special guests are invited to a reception, short lecture and dramatic presentation 5:30-7:30 p.m. Jan. 22 in the Great Hall at the museum.

Jan. 23

A teacher training session runs 1-4 p.m. Jan. 23 in Weitzenhoffer Theatre at OU’s Fine Arts Center. It guides educators on ways to teach Shakespeare and The First Folio and why it’s important.

Jan. 26

Living Shakespeare includes a reception and panel presentation 6:30-8:30 p.m. Jan. 26 in Kerr Auditorium at the museum. Topics include Medieval Shakespeare, Shakespearean opera, Shakespeare on the Yiddish stage and Shakespeare in India.

Jan. 29

A Medieval Fair Free Lecture, Is Shakespeare’s Shylock Jewish?, is 6:307:30 p.m. Jan. 29 at Norman Public Library, 225 N. Webster Ave., in Norman.

For more information on the events surrounding the exhibition, visit cas.ou.edu/first-folio.

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 25

life visual arts

Traveling traces Oklahoma City artist Denise Duong journeys far and wide as a way to keep growing.

Always facing the same question, a young Denise Duong always had the same answer.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” her parents would ask.

“An artist,” Duong would reply.

Maybe the question never changed because her parents never liked the answer. Art might be suitable as a hobby, they would say; but for a career, you could find something with a lot less risk.

Duong, however, has never been about the safe choice or routines. This is a woman who spent this summer rafting the Nile, one who decided to move away from Hawaii because it was not “environmentally stimulating” enough.

The Oklahoma City-born artist’s most recent exhibition, Flux, at JRB Art at the Elms in December highlighted the artistic and personal growth experienced

by Duong on some of her recent travels.

She has a serious case of wanderlust.

She claims to have made stops in more than 50 different locales since April. In 2016, she plans on being overseas for more than half the year, including going to Hong Kong and India to collaborate with a jeweler friend and for one of her exhibits at a gallery in Korea.

“As long as my dog is with me, I can just be gone forever,” Duong said.

Her expressive art style did not fully develop until she was in college at the Art Institute of Chicago. It wasn’t so much the school itself that informed her style; she said there was not much a professor could do to “change” anything about the way she draws.

Instead, she said she found herself caught up in the unique urban sprawl that makes up the city. She remembers sitting, waiting for the train, sketching the world as it looked from her eyes.

“I feel like the things I create in Chicago are kind of different from everything else,” she said.

Above all else, Duong said her drawings are mostly just an interpretation of her environment, meaning there’s always a need to go out into the world just so things can happen.

The drawings in her Flux exhibit depict memory after travel memory.

She remembers house-sitting across the western United States earlier this year with her friend from India.

“We were just living out of our

mark h ancock

By Ben Luschen

Denise Duong with one of her installations at JRB Art at the Elms suitcases, hauling my dog and my cat around. It was pretty fun,” she said.

Later this summer, she met another friend in Uganda who was finishing her master’s degree in international agriculture. She was still working during Duong’s first weeks there, so Duong took the opportunity to explore. She said she was one of the last people to raft the Nile in that area before the installation of a hydroelectric dam.

She later went gorilla-tracking that same trip. The group of gorillas they followed had the most babies, though their silverback left them momentarily to go fight the silverback of another tracking group.

Wayfarer

Travel was not a sudden awakening that took place this summer. Duong said her first time abroad was a trip to learn Spanish in Costa Rica in the summer right after high school.

Oddly, Costa Rica is what reminds her of the world’s ascent into a new digital age. The Internet, she said, was

26 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

As long as my dog is with me, I can just be gone forever.

— Denise Duong

really just taking its place in mainstream life around the time she was leaving school. She remembers being in Costa Rica, hoping to find pamphlets or something with college options.

“I wasn’t trying to figure out a school to go to yet, and somebody told me to ‘look at the Internet,’” she said. “I was like, ‘The Internet? I didn’t think about that.’”

Her most notable traveling feat is likely the time she hitchhiked across the United States in her early 20s with another friend. Her goal on the adventure was to not spend a dime the entire trip.

“I did it at a young enough age where I didn’t have any fear, so it was

like, ‘Whew! Whatever. I’m doing this,’” she said.

Duong, now an experienced hiker, said the trip stands out most in her mind because of how unprepared she was to live in rugged conditions for such a long period of time. She said it definitely encouraged them to rely on the many street-savvy individuals they met along the way who showed them how to survive.

“Now I feel like a pro; I feel like I could write a handbook for living on the streets and not spending any money,” she said.

Duong owes a lot to the world.

She has met friends and made life experiences. Perhaps, most of all, the world and its wonders have helped her grow artistically in a way that would have never manifested otherwise.

She has grown emotionally as well as artistically. “[Travel] opens your views on the world, on people, humanity,” she said. “I think it gives you some humility and just an overall passion for life.”

Yada, yada Around 30 local artists join Brass Bell Studios’ group show about nothing, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

By Jack Fowler

5 p.m.-9 p.m. Sunday Brass Bell Studios 2500 NW 33rd St. Twitter: @brassbellstudio Free

Vandelay Industries. Feats of strength.

Sponge-worthy.

Some people don’t know why those phrases are hilarious. For the rest of Oklahoma City’s close-talkers, regifters, anti-dentites and masters of their respective domains, Brass Bell Studios presents An Art Show About Nothing, opening 5 p.m. Sunday at 2500 NW 33rd St. The free group art exhibit celebrates the studio’s five-year anniversary.

Gallery operator and local artist Ashley Smith said once the idea of creating Seinfeld-inspired art got stuck in her head (“Co-Stan-Za!”), she never even considered another theme for the show.

“Once we came up with the theme, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it,” Smith said. “I’m part of the generation that started watching Seinfeld when it was first on, when you waited every week for new episodes. I’ve watched it religiously for years.”

The sitcom ran from 1989 to 1998 on broadcast television and included nine seasons and 180, 22-minute episodes. It has been in syndication since 1992 and was recently picked up by Hulu streaming video service.

‘Hello, Jerry’

“There’s been a resurgence of Seinfeld,” Smith said. “You’re hearing a lot of chatter about it again, even from people who never watched it when it was on TV.” If the sitcom about nothing is gaining new fans, they’re joining cultists who already know the names of George Costanza — lead character Jerry Seinfeld’s best friend — and his imaginary Hamptons horses.

Longtime fans also know which disease Cosmo Kramer “performs” for medical students and why nobody should trust Bob Sacamano Sr. (or junior, for that matter).

Seinfeld fans or not, most people are familiar with the show’s broad strokes.

Manhattan neighbors Jerry, Kramer, George and Elaine might be more recognizable now to the average person on the street than John, Paul, George and Ringo.

Snippets of dialogue — “Yada yada, yada,” “No soup for you,” “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” — took root in everyday American lexicon like nothing else this side of Shakespeare.

Seinfeld’s entire premise, after all, was based on the esoteric, the small, the overlooked. Smith said obscure details, characters and the depth of the Seinfeld universe makes her excited for this show.

“When you’ve seen all the episodes and you’re a big Seinfeld fan, there are so many characters and lines and phrases that you start remembering,” Smith

photos provided

An Art Show About Nothing Seinfeld-themed group show

Amanda’s Shelton’s piece for Brass Bell Studio’s An Art Show About Nothing

I can quote that show line for line; it’s kind of like my religion.

— Ashley Smith

said. “It’s been interesting to see the ways artists are going with this, because it shows you that Seinfeld has that following, almost like Star Wars.”

‘The finger’

Jake Beeson and more than two dozen local artists created works for An Art Show About Nothing, which opens Sunday at Brass Bell Studios.

When pressed on her favorite episode, Smith pointed out another unique aspect of the Seinfeld phenomenon: Episodes don’t really matter. Everyone has favorite scenes, and she describes those.

“Oh my god. Whenever Jerry’s on the phone and he says, ‘Who is this?’ I lose it,” Smith said. “It never gets old. … I can quote that show line for line; it’s kind of like my religion. My friends know Seinfeld is part of who I am.”

Up to 30 OKC artists are similarly

geeking out over An Art Show About Nothing.

It features Amanda Shelton’s portrait of a waitress George believes is giving him the finger; Kevin Lee’s Edward Hopper-esque rendering of Tom’s Restaurant (aka Monk’s Café); and Micah Moad’s pop-art rendering of Costanza, a halo hovering above his bald head as he holds a golf ball he pulled from the blowhole of a beached whale.

Smith’s pieces are tattoo-inspired tributes to Jerry’s aforementioned phone greeting and the fictional Del Boca Vista retirement community.

They speak to the depth and variety viewers can expect from art about nothing and how much fun the sitcom really was.

In that spirit, Smith designed koozies for the show, free to guests who dress up as their favorite Seinfeld character (or buy art, of course). One side features the show logo. The other says, “These pretzels are making me thirsty!”

She said she believes An Art Show About Nothing might be the biggest thing since the Newmanium.

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 27

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Murderous delight Whodunit Dinner Theater celebrates a quarter century.

by Christine Eddington

Whodunit Dinner Theater 6:15 p.m. Jan. 15, 22 and 30; Feb. 12, 14, 19 and 23; ongoing Several metro locations whodunit.net 420-3222 $24-$48

In 1990, a 15-year-old actress collected her moxie and found a ride to an audition. She walked out with the role of Whodunit Dinner Theater’s sassy character Penelope Purr.

The character was a bit of a vamp, so the fair heroine adroitly applied her lipstick, gave the director a look, blotted her pout and tossed the tissue on the table in front of the director as she said, “You should hang on to this; I’m going to be famous one day.”

With that bold move, she owned the audition and earned the part.

By 2005, she also owned Whodunit Dinner Theater. “[Whodunit was created by Margie Madden,] my best friend and mentor,” said Terri Myers, 25-year acting veteran, writer, director and theater company owner. “She, along with Earlene Cottet, who wrote the very first script, and a third collaborator, Peggy Luster, really is the foundation of Whodunit.”

28 | DECEMBER 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

Creating community

It’s a true dinner theater experience for guests, who become a part of the performance in varying degrees and enjoy a meal while they do it. Performances are presented at Cattlemen’s Steakhouse in Stockyards City and at the original Ted’s Café Escondido location at May Avenue and NW 68th Street. A $48 adult ticket includes show admission and a buffetstyle meal with entree, side dish and dessert selections (as well as tax and gratuity). Events run about three hours.

Whodunit Dinner Theater celebrates its 25th year in 2015, and in an era marked, or perhaps marred, by society’s penchant for sitting alone in front of tiny screens, its longevity is no small feat and one worth recognizing.

“In those early years, before the Internet and before you could just buy tickets online, Margie managed to get the word out, sell tickets and fill the shows all by hand,” Myers said. “She created something that endures because it allows people to literally be burdenless for a couple of hours. We serve dinner, we entertain, we make people laugh and we create community within our audience.”

Myers realized just how powerful theater could be at age 17 after a

P R OVI DE D

Whodunit Dinner Theater performs multiple times a month at venues across the metro. woman approached her after a show.

“She told me that that had been the first time she’d laughed in six months.

Her husband had passed away, and she’d reluctantly agreed to come out for the evening to the show, and it made her laugh,” she told Oklahoma Gazette. “I realized we could lift people’s burdens. It motivates me still to make every performance better so we can do that for people.”

Murder becomes her

Her Whodunit career continued until life, including marriage and children, took center stage. Or so she thought.

“Margie, who is a genius, started a talent agency, Magna Talent, and was running that and running Whodunit.

Everything Margie touches is wildly successful, and Magna was growing,” Myers said. “I heard she was thinking of closing down Whodunit, and I called her and asked if I could buy it.”

Madden agreed, the deal was done and Myers and husband Eric began, under Madden’s direction, to learn the business. Eric still serves as the company’s behind-the-scenes guy, handling props and logistics and wrangling actors and guest reservations.

Myers still performs and recently completed her first script, Whodunit Part YOU. “It took me about three months to write. By the time I was done, I was so jumpy,” she said. “You think you’re just writing a fun script for a dinner theater show, but because we are a murder mystery show, I was constantly thinking about murder weapons and how to kill people.”

As she and the cast performed her show for the first time, Myers said

hearing an audience laugh at lines she wrote was mind-blowing.

“Whodunit Part YOU is a much more audience-inclusive performance than our other shows,” she said. “It has max interaction.”

Five or six audience members are selected to participate in each show.

“There is a bag placed on each table,” Myers said.

Each bag includes a costume, props and a script with two key speeches lasting one minute.

“The people at the table decide which of them will become part of the show,” she said. “In fact, one of them may be the killer.”

For some, this sounds like heaven on Earth. For others, however, it might sound like the ninth circle of hell, which is why Myers limits guest participants to one per table.

Another way to enjoy Whodunit is by booking a private show, which can be done at one of the regular performance venues or in a guest’s home, provided there is a relatively roomy dining room and, ideally, a 4-foot by 6-foot area to use as a stage.

Myers said shows can be staged for as few as 15 or as many as 100 people.

Expanding mystery

Myers estimates that, over the years, around 25,000 guests have seen Whodunit’s public and private performances, which have featured between 500 and 750 local actors.

“Our shows change with every performance,” she said.

As those in a true repertory theater group, each actor plays up to three roles.

“We are one of the only improv theaters in the state, and our actors really love getting to sharpen their skills,” Myers said.

Those actors include Jon Haque and Lucas Ross.

Ross co-hosted the Rise and Shine Oklahoma TV show and starred as the ever-bumbling Donnie in a series of commercials for a local car dealership.

He also interned on 25 episodes of the sitcom That ’70s Show, 18 episodes of The Tracy Morgan Show and 13 episodes of Grounded for Life. Emmywinning Haque is business director for Oklahoma City Repertory Theatre (CityRep) and is a member of okc.BIZ and Oklahoma Gazette’s Forty Under 40 class of 2015.

There are several theater shows in production. They typically are held on Friday nights once or twice per month at Cattlemen’s and Ted’s, and there are less frequent performances at The Grandison Inn, a bed-and-breakfast in Oklahoma City’s Midtown district.

Whodunit also performs an annual Valentine’s Day show.

Learn more at whodunit.net.

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O k l a h o m a G a z e t t e | december 3 0 , 2 0 1 5 | 2 9

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Gridinn째10673 Fill the grid somedium that every row, column and 3-by-3 box contains the numbers 1 through 9.

3 4 8 4

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1 8 7 2 3 1 6 9 3 8 2 6 1 7 3 New York Times Crossword Puzzle answers Puzzle No. 1220, which appeared in the December 23 issue.

A M P L E L A P D O G A D A C A Ofree L printable O sudoku N H atI www.PrintMySudoku.com R E E L E G Make yourRown We need!T 400 new ChaveHall the I free Csudokus A Gyou O R sudokus A I every N week. N E A T R E M A I L A L G E B R A S A R R N A R C S R O O S T O N E D I R E C T I O N T R A C A S E E D Y Y U C K O G O L E I N O A S T U T T E Y E S N O D O U B T L E A H D E L T A E A G L E S W A M I S T A D S E L I G S I E B O S T O N C R E A M S C E N E C L A Y A U S T P O I S O N S T A L W A R T B O N N Y C U P S Z O O M E A U F U N S M A S H I N G P U M P K I A S E P E E T A T A P A S L O W E S E R I T R E A S I A P T I T U D E R U S H T H E D N E O N A T E S I T S A G O R A N N E X E D P H O N I C O

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30 | December 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

ARTICLES & PHOTOS

AWARDS

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9 8 4

ACROSS

1 Chipped beef go-with 6 Plugged in 11 Subjects of frequent updates 15 Tennis’s Wawrinka, winner of

the 2015 French Open 19 Wet spot 20 Sophomore’s choice 21 “Language of the unheard,”

per Martin Luther King Jr. 22 “Duh, I get it” 23 “Corrected” slogan for a tech company?

26 Matriarch of six of the 12

Tribes of Israel 27 Bounce 28 Regarding 29 Keeper of the flame?

30 Majority of Saudi Arabians 31 Kind of tone 33 “Corrected” slogan for an

office-supply chain?

37 Anna Karenina’s lover 39 Deer hunter’s prize 40 Skaters’ leaps 41 Who might say, “I’m I. M.” 42 Rating for many HBO shows 44 Early co-host of The View 49 “Corrected” slogan for a fast-

food franchise?

52 Feudal superiors 53 The Boy Next Door star, to fans 56 Elbow 57 Sources of some rattling 58 Milkmaid’s handful 59 Earnings, so to speak 62 Tubs 64 Fall back on, as in desperation 66 “Corrected” slogan for a dessert brand?

71 Gambit 72 Gambit 73 Molly who wrote Bill of Wrongs 74 Hogwarts delivery system 75 Dweeb 77 Confine 81 Measure of inflation, for short 82 Calligraphers 83 “Corrected” slogan for a

hairstyling product?

87 Shows promise 89 Thom ____ shoes 90 Short note?

91 “When in ____, tell the truth”:

Mark Twain 93 Second 95 Took, as a test 97 “Corrected” slogan for a

frozen breakfast food?

102 Aunt in Uncle Tom’s Cabin 103 Reflective writing 104 Certification for eco-friendly

buildings, for short 105 “Funny bumping into you here” 107 “Unfortunately … ” 110 Seaside scavenger 111 “Corrected” slogan for a dairy product?

115 Hot rod’s rod 116 Took a card 117 President-____ 118 Duck Dynasty network 119 Action-oriented sorts, supposedly 120 Surfaces, in a way 121 Targets of cons 122 Work with the hands

DOWN

1 “Africa” band, 1982 2 First Ironman locale 3 “From my perspective … ” 4 Possible black market cause 5 “Naughty!”

6 Buggy people?

7 Drift 8 Driver who won the Indy 500,

Daytona 500 and Le Mans 9 European deer 10 Get things wrong 11 The Terminator star, to fans 12 Bit of marketing 13 Oktoberfest dance 14 It’s a mess 15 Signs of respect 16 Hurricanes’ grp.

17 Yoga poses 18 Like three Cy Young games 24 Indirect objects,

grammatically speaking 25 “Oh, gross!”

30 What?and? indicate 32 “Acoustic guitar” or “terrestrial radio” 34 “Hey, relax!”

35 ____ Pepper 36 Hudgens of High

School Musical

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37 Big lug 38 Shepherd’s workplace 39 Pioneering stand-up comedian 43 El Paso setting: Abbr.

45 Admission of 1959 46 Josh 47 Gibes 48 Figures in bedtime stories 50 Nordic wonders 51 Charge 53 Romeo Must Die star, 2000 54 Approach evening 55 Missouri River natives 57 It makes a turn at the entrance 58 Globetrot 59 Some jazz 60 Promises

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Stumped? Call 1-900-285-5656 to get the answers to any three clues by phone ($1.20 a minute). The answers to the New York Times Magazine Crossword Puzzle that appeared in the December 23 issue of Oklahoma Gazette are shown at left.

VOL. XXXVII No. 52

7

113

61 Ma uses them 63 Like ibexes 65 Cover’s opposite 67 Greeted with respect 68 Like shepherds’ charges 69 Holds to be 70 Scrutinized 76 Mint 78 Subject for one

studying onomastics 79 Ottawa-based media inits.

80 Flooded with 82 Submarine near the Gulf Coast 83 TV character with the catchphrase “Booyakasha!”

84 Rope from a ship, say 85 “Whoop-de-____” 86 Start of the Lord’s Prayer 87 Band with the first video

on MTV, with “the” 88 Connectivity issue

114

1227

New York Times Magazine Crossword Puzzle rebranding By Peter Wentz / Edited by Will Shortz

91 Having all the add-ons, say 92 Singer of the aria “Ora e

per sempre addio” 94 Let, e.g.

96 Barring no one 97 Corporate department 98 Plants 99 Stephenie who wrote

Twilight 100 Cartoonish shrieks 101 URL ender 102 I.M. sessions 106 “Fiddlesticks!”

108 Photographer/writer

Arlene

109 Short timetable?

111 Chemical used to fight malaria 112 Border line?

113 Like 114 Talk up a storm

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32 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

life music

Ga rett fi s bec k

Reloaded Klips To the joy of some and disdain of others, Ty Kamm brings rap into old Klipspringer sound.

KlipHop (from left Chris Bourland, Ty “Tyrone Elliott” Kamm and Alan Hiserodt)

By Ben Luschen

At one point, Snoop Dogg found reggae. Soundgarden’s Chris Cornell found pop. Lil Wayne found a guitar.

Fans did not take kindly to any of those sudden shifts from their favorite artists. Part of the reason was the execution, but fans also have a strange fascination with the idea that an artist can grow without changing.

Meet KlipHop. Or maybe you have already met. KlipHop is the rap alter-ego of Norman pop-rock band Klipspringer, whose last release was The Trouble with Sebastian in 2011.

KlipHop released its debut, self-titled EP in November.

The band has been performing a KlipHop set here and there over the last couple of years to mixed reactions from its stalwart fans and friends.

“It’s hit-and-miss,” vocalist and emcee Ty Kamm said. “Half the people think we’re crazy or we’ve lost it and rap is crap. And then other people think it’s great; they get the humor in it, they appreciate hip-hop too. So it’s really split down the middle.”

Kamm, who raps under the “Tyrone Elliott” moniker, said there is good music in any genre and he has long held an appreciation for hip-hop. When he was younger, he said he loved groups like

Public Enemy, Beastie Boys and Gorillaz.

Even today, he still likes acts like Chance the Rapper and Aesop Rock.

A couple of years ago, while Klipspringer was practicing, Kamm said they started fooling around and doing hip-hop versions of some of their old songs. One of the first, he said, was “Losing My Lighter.” A West Coast, g-funk-inspired version of the song leads off the EP. “If I remember correctly, our keyboard member started playing some of those sounds, and then (former) bass player Mitch kicked in with a groove,” Kamm said. “They were just jackin’ around, and I just started rapping ‘Losing My Lighter’ to it, and I think that was the birth of KlipHop right there.”

At first, this exercise in rhythm was for their ears only, but they kept developing the concepts further and further.

“Then we kind of started realizing, ‘You know, some of this isn’t bad; this is kind of good,’” he said. “At least we were like, this is OK for a bunch of old white guys, you know?”

Lacking lines

When they started recording for this EP, Kamm said a noticeable difference for him was the complete lack of guitar. For the first time on a Klipspringer project, Kamm doesn’t play a single instrument.

Not having a guitar also changed the order in which they like to lay down their tracks.

Despite not playing guitar on the project himself, Kamm said he is proud of the EP’s musicianship, especially the work from keyboardist Chris Bourland.

“He painted that entire landscape of sound,” he said.

Kamm also found that when rapping, you have to keep the lyrics coming.

“When you’re singing or whatever in a rock band, if you space out and forget a few words, you can fake it,” he said.

“You can just use phonics and sing the melody and mumble some stuff; but if you’re rapping, you can’t do that.”

Thankfully, most of the lyrics used on KlipHop are from classic Klipspringer songs, but some words were added later to make it work because you move through lyrics faster when you’re rapping them.

He used to tell critics of KlipHop that they were a tongue-in-cheek act, which is true. They’re nerdcore, he

said, and people know it’s odd to see a middle-aged white band on stage, trying to perform hip-hop, so they have fun with it.

But after Kamm’s wife saw KlipHop perform on stage, she was not convinced. She said they looked like they weren’t really into it.

“People can tell if you’re not feeling it, if it’s not real,” Kamm said. “If we were up there, just purely making fun or something, then that wouldn’t cut it either.”

Kamm insists that they’re not out to make light of rappers or hip-hop — quite the opposite. The band members hope to partake in a genre they have all come to appreciate.

And while he said he has had fun recording as KlipHop, Kamm said he can’t see Klipspringer going off to record a country record or any other crossgenre experiments.

But he also said he would never rule it out entirely.

“Back in my young punk days, I never thought that I’d be attempting to rap in a hip-hop band, but I love it,” he said. “I think it’s awesome. It’s so much fun.”

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 33

Celtic Cadence, Chase Tower (Cotter Ranch Tower).

FOLK

FRIDAY, JAN. 1 Daniel Jordan, Fuze Buffet & Bar. ACOUSTIC Edgar Cruz, Skirvin Hilton Hotel. ACOUSTIC Justin Echols Trio, Hefner Grill. JAZZ

Clint Scholz Band, Baker Street Pub & Grill. COUNTRY

Karen Khoury, Legend’s Restaurant, Norman. PIANO

Grant Wells, Skirvin Hilton Hotel. JAZZ

Porch Mice, Blue Note Lounge. COUNTRY

Maurice Johnson, R&J Lounge and Supper Club. JAZZ

Replay, Remington Park. COVER

Scott Lowber/Will Galbraith/Ed VanBuskirk, Friends Restaurant & Club. COVER Tony Schwartz, Hefner Grill. JAZZ

THURSDAY, DEC. 31 American Aquarium, Wormy Dog Saloon. COUNTRY Attica State/80z Enuf/Superfreak, Firelake Grand Casino, Shawnee. COVER

SATURDAY, JAN. 2 Avenue/Zodiac, Tapwerks Ale House & Cafe. COVER Boogie Fever, Remington Park. COVER Don and Melodee Johnson, Twelve Oaks, Edmond. JAZZ Empire Grey, Newcastle Casino, Newcastle. ROCK Justin Echols Trio, Hefner Grill. JAZZ

Avenue/Zodiac, Riverwind Casino, Norman. COVER

LUCKY, Mickey Mantle’s Steakhouse. COVER

Brent Saulsbury/Will Galbraith/Wayne Duncan, Friends Restaurant & Club. ROCK

Masterhand, Blue Note Lounge. NEW WAVE

Dave Thomason Band/Chad Sullins Band, Grady’s 66 Pub, Yukon. COVER DJ Jason Daniel, Russell’s, Tower Hotel. ELECTRONIC Helen Kelter Skelter/Poolboy/Harpa, Opolis, Norman.

ROCK Jared Sutton/Jarrod Baker, Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill. ROCK Justin Echols Trio, Hefner Grill. JAZZ K Camp, Cox Convention Center. HIP-HOP Life of the Party, Remington Park. COVER LUCKY, Newcastle Casino, Newcastle. COVER Pearson Jazz Trio, Skirvin Hilton Hotel. JAZZ

Smilin’ Vic, UCO Jazz Lab, Edmond. BLUES

okg

SUNDAY, JAN. 3

music

Kyle Reid & the Low Swinging Chariots

picks

Earl Day, Hefner Grill. PIANO

Thursday

If you’ve never been to a Kyle Reid show before, then popping your Chariots cherry is the perfect way to spend the first moments of 2016. They’ll be playing jazz and swing all night, starting at 8:30 p.m., at The Shop at Skippy’s, 1409 SE Second Street. Tickets are $25 per person and $240 for a six-seat table and include a champagne toast at midnight. Visit facebook. com/lowswingingchariots.

Karen Khoury, Legend’s Restaurant, Norman. PIANO Scott Lowber/Will Galbraith/Rick Toops, Friends Restaurant & Club. COVER The News Can Wait, Blue Note Lounge. PUNK

MONDAY, JAN. 4 Rick Toops, Friends Restaurant & Club. ROCK

provided

The Weathermen, Tapwerks Ale House & Cafe. ROCK

Kyle Reid

provide d

Live Music WEDNESDAY, DEC. 30

p rovi de d

life music

Super Diamond

Bricktown NYE with Super Diamond Thursday Shine bright with Neil Diamond cover band Super Diamond. Save your voices; those Sweet Caroline “bah bah bahs” ain’t gonna shriek themselves. Head to Chevy Bricktown Events Center, 429 E. California Ave., at 9 p.m. Tickets are $50-$1,000 at ticketstorm.com. Call 236-4143 or visit bricktownnye.com for info.

TUESDAY, JAN. 5 Otakunauts/Marion Walker/Weak Knees, Opolis, Norman. POP

Maurice Johnson, R&J Lounge and Supper Club, Wednesday, Dec. 30, Wednesday, Jan. 6

34 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 6 Maurice Johnson, R&J Lounge and Supper Club. JAZZ Scott Lowber/Will Galbraith/Ed VanBuskirk, Friends Restaurant & Club. COVER

Submissions must be received by Oklahoma Gazette no later than noon on Wednesday seven days before the desired publication date. Late submissions will not be included in the listings.

Submissions run as space allows, although we strive to make the listings as inclusive as possible.

Fax your listings to 528-4600 or e-mail them to listings@okgazette.com. Sorry, but phone submissions cannot be accepted.

The W ei n stei n Com pa n y / Provi ded

life film

Blood simple The Hateful Eight

Quentin Tarantino works a small stage with a big lens in gloriously visceral The Hateful Eight.

BY GEORGE LANG

Like an Agatha Christie drawingroom mystery working through severe anger management issues, Quentin Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight thrives in its claustrophobic setting, achieving epic status despite 90 percent of the action taking place in a snowbound Wyoming watering hole.

But Tarantino does not require a vast horizon to fill a 70 mm frame shot with an anamorphic lens; the opportunity to see his repertory company of glowering masters twist within his high-tension Western Thunderdome makes this project worthy of its wide vista.

The Hateful Eight begins with a faint echo of Django Unchained as bounty hunter Marquis Warren (Samuel L. Jackson; Pulp Fiction, Die Hard: With a Vengeance) stops a stagecoach during a snowstorm to negotiate a ride for himself and the two corpses he plans to turn in for a bounty in nearby Red Rock. There’s a crowded market for bounty hunting in 1880s Wyoming — the stage is occupied by competitor John Ruth (Kurt Russell, Grindhouse), who is transporting the murderous Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kill Your Darlings) to Red Rock for hanging.

The wild frontier is unusually crowded that day, as well, since Chris Mannix (Walton Goggins, Justified), the new sheriff of Red Rock, trudges around in the

snowbanks, also in need of a lift. He puts forward a savvy argument for getting one: The bounty hunters cannot collect their cash without a sheriff to accept the living and dead bodies for payment.

But as the storm surges over the mountain pass, all parties realize the horses cannot make it much farther and they soon find themselves outside Minnie’s Haberdashery, a way station with few hats but plenty of coffee, liquor, stew and fellow travelers itching for confrontation.

Tarantino uses the blizzard only as a mechanism to gather his Hateful Eight into one room, because the real storm takes place inside the haberdashery. That is where John, Chris and Marquis find the rogue’s gallery including Confederate General Sandy Smithers (Bruce Dern, Big Love), taciturn loner Joe Gage (Michael Madsen, Kill Bill: Vols 1 and 2), dandyish hangman Oswaldo Mobray (Tim Roth, Reservoir Dogs) and Bob the Mexican (Demian Bichir, Machete Kills).

As conflicting agendas build into a powder keg, Daisy lights the fuse.

At surface level, the film’s confined spaces seem like poor use of 70 mm technology — in a recent interview with The Nerdist podcast, Tarantino said he uses it as a tool to bring audiences into theaters instead of staying home to Netflix and chill. And one of the great benefits

of extreme 70 mm is its ability to capture minute details.

Some of the most memorable scenes in spaghetti Westerns — arguably the most well-known use of extreme widescreen — involve the study of a facial expression as sweat trickles down a forehead just before the guns come out.

Similarly, director of photography Robert Richardson scrutinizes Jackson’s glare of recognition as the pieces of conspiracy fall together and discloses actions and reactions in nearly every corner of Minnie’s Haberdashery without panning. Viewers should watch carefully, because details along the margins can be revelatory.

With this cast, there’s plenty for the lens to capture. The men in the cast could be billed as the Tarantino AllStars (with Bechir on loan from Robert Rodriguez), and they know how this is done: with great vengeance and furious anger. In The Hateful Eight, everyone has dirt on everyone, which means that dirt eventually gets commingled with blood, guts and brains.

Standing out in this crowd comes with its challenges, but whenever Leigh ramps into full feral mode, not even a seasoned, scenery-chewing grand master like Dern can approach her total command. Banged up nearly beyond recognition and doused in viscera, Leigh’s Daisy comes off like a

bile-filled punching bag for much of The Hateful Eight. Under Tarantino’s watch, however, power structures in the room are constantly realigned.

Completing Tarantino’s typically brilliant pastiche is the score by Ennio Morricone, the great composer whose music helped build the tension and mythos of filmmaker Sergio Leone’s classics. Morricone’s music pounds like heavy metal throughout the film and uses relatively few chestnuts from the past for aural illustration — a little White Stripes here, a little Roy Orbison there.

Morricone is the main musical engine through all three hours of the project.

But, like few other directors working today, Tarantino is the true star of The Hateful Eight. More than at any other time since the glory days of the studio system, moviemaking is a forced system of art by committee, but Bob and Harvey Weinstein, founders of the mini-major film studio The Weinstein Company, give Tarantino final cut every time, and it shows in the singularity of vision in The Hateful Eight and the classics that preceded it.

There are many perpetrators, scoundrels and filthy bastards arranged around the fire and lurking in the shadows of Minnie’s Haberdashery, but every inch of the place bears Tarantino’s bloody fingerprints.

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 35

life film

Moonlighter p hotos by Ga rett fi s be c k

Kendra Wall Dahl became an Ewok and found her place among the stars.

By Ben Luschen

Even on their first days on set, Kendra Wall Dahl said film producers went to great lengths to keep any in their group from knowing they were about to appear in a Star Wars movie.

Dahl, a 4-foot-4-inch resident of Oklahoma City, is listed by her maiden name in the credits for her role in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi. She was one of the 100 little people who were secretly cast as the scavenging, teddy-like Ewoks.

Dahl was told she was set to appear in a vague horror film called Blue Harvest and noted that no punches were pulled from preserving the film’s true identity. Her set pass said Blue Harvest. They all had Blue Harvest shirts. Everyone on set was bound by the same Blue Harvest call sheet.

But you can’t keep a secret as big as Star Wars forever. And who would want to? Without realizing it, the smallest girl in the Wall family had stepped into one of the biggest feature films the world had ever seen.

No breaks

Dahl was born in suburban Chicago, the fourth of five children in an otherwise average family. She said she was not especially coddled by her parents because of her height.

“I didn’t get breaks,” she said. “I had to do the chores; I had to do just the ordinary things.”

Her family moved to Oklahoma City when she was in junior high. Dahl went on to attend Putnam City High School and the University of Central Oklahoma.

Anyone is nervous about moving to a new place, but Dahl said the friendly people in Oklahoma made it an easy transition.

Still, she did not grow up separate from little people. Every year, she would attend the Little People of America conference, where hundreds would gather for events, meetups, competitions, trips and workshops.

Dahl got involved in Star Wars at a casting call at one of these conferences.

Filming

Picking through the selection of fine, catered movie set foods for lunch on the first day of shooting on location in the redwood forests of northern California, Dahl was already nervous.

After their break, she was scheduled to move around in-costume for George Lucas when, a few days before, she had never imagined she would ever be in a Star Wars film.

She filled her plate and looked for a place to sit. It was after most people in line had gone through, so seats were mostly full, but some were already getting up. One of those finishing was Mark Hamill, who had been sitting with the other leading actors in the film.

Hamill offered her his seat and took off. Soon, Dahl was eating with Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford. They never spoke with her, but Dahl said she really took in the moment.

“It was like, ‘These people are really big, and this is really exciting to be part of this,’” she said.

She said her eventual performance in front of Lucas went fine, despite the perils of fidgeting around the woods with a tight, padded costume.

“The vision of the little goggles, the eyes, was very limited, and the mask was right up against our face,” she said.

“And you have this whole costume on where you’ve kind of got

36 | december 30, 2015 | Oklahoma Gazette

pillows underneath, so you’re padded like the Michelin Man and you’re walking awkwardly on uneven ground because it’s in a true forest.”

Her character can be spotted most clearly on two occasions: once reaching for Han’s blaster while he’s entangled in a net with the rest of the crew and again later, attacking a Stormtrooper.

‘Size matters not’

As welcoming as Oklahomans and many others have been, Dahl says staring eyes and whispers seem to follow her wherever she goes. She always wished some of those stares would turn into a friendly hello or a courteous nod. No one likes feeling different, she said.

She’s using the Episode VII

release as a platform to communicate her personal Take 5 initiative, a program she developed in which she goes into classrooms and speaks to children about how to approach people with differences.

The idea is that someone should take five seconds or minutes when they see someone of a different race or height and wave hello to them instead of just staring. It might even help to open up a conversation with the person.

Once communication opens up with another person, differences are pushed into the background as our similarities are brought to attention.

“A lot of people tell me, ‘I forget you’re little,’” she said, “because it just becomes a part of every day. You’re just another person.”

In a universe where men and women can peacefully work alongside Wookies, droids and Ewoks, Dahl said she hopes those seeing the new film can at least make an effort to be kinder to those already around them.

“Like Yoda says, ‘Size matters not.’ I like the messages and the inspiration,” she said, “Star Wars is very positive, very inspirational.”

Kendra Wall Dahl played an Ewok in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi.

Luc as fi lm / Provi de d

Reanimated droids The newest installment of Star Wars breathes new life into the franchise.

By Jacob Oller

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens doesn’t disappoint. Thirty-two years after the events of Return of the Jedi ended the biggest trilogy in movie history, we’re back with the franchise that inspired a generation, not the cartoonish missteps of the prequels or the admirable yet inherently insufficient animated shows or novels.

For the fans once lined up for their fourth screening of Star Wars back in 1977, only a certified cultural event would suffice as revival. Luckily, despite its problems, the film pleases newcomers and the perpetually Jedi-robed alike, striking a balance between fan service and echoes of the original film.

The first pH strip indicating this balance is the cast: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Adam Driver and (to a lesser extent) Oscar Isaac star alongside returning legends Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford.

Aside from the reactionary perking of eyebrows and whispers to seat-neighbors (“Look who it is!”), the original cast helps introduce us to the world. Han Solo (Ford), once a detractor of the Force, explains to Rey (Ridley) and Finn (Boyega) that yes, it’s real; the Jedi are real. The same vague, mystical wonder — accompanied by the twittering flutes of John Williams — fills the screen that ran imaginations wild in the ’70s.

Ridley commands the screen viciously, with a lithe, sanguine vigor that rides the line between hotheaded youth and impassioned excitement. She’s excited, just like us, to see the new world opened up to her. Bound to be a fan favorite, expect ubiquitous Rey costumes for the foreseeable future.

Boyega spins timidity into charm.

His mounting bravery in the pursuit of morality creates a nicely complex character. Poe Dameron (Isaac), functions

as a heartthrob who introduces roly-poly BB-8, a ball droid showcasing the unique talent, and silent-era respect, of Star Wars to produce endearingly mute characters.

While an early alien chase hearkens back to the cheesy, CGI elasticity of the prequels, the film looks amazing.

Director J.J. Abrams handles the film’s tone perfectly, even if his heavyhanded symbolism often gets in the way of things like plot. Speaking of, this is the third time a Star Wars movie has had this exact plot.

Yes, the big bad authoritarians have created yet another giant weapon, and yes, our heroes have to blow it up. It’s all window dressing to a more interesting story between characters, especially entitled trust fund Sith Kylo Ren (Driver).

His whiney darkness — like that of the brats from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory — oozes and crawls over Finn, Poe and (especially) Rey with an

above Star Wars: Episode VII The Force Awakens uncomfortable tension.

Suffering from its own knowledge that it’s the revival of a new trilogy, The Force Awakens fails to tell a complete story.

However, it gives us exactly what we need to jump back in: a revamped introduction to the universe where our guides are no longer strange bearded men in the desert, but old friends; a struggle against a clinically conformist aggressor by a ragtag group of aliens, droids and kids who, like those in the audience, entered the story thinking, I could never do anything like that.

The often self-deprecating humor, the spectacle, the overwhelming love and the giddy, spiraling descent into the heart of a new adventure return for anyone looking to revisit a galaxy far, far away.

In Jackson Heights

IMAGE.NET / PROVIDED

New Heights

Wiseman effectively captures the cultural vibrance of the Queens neighborhood.

By Ben Luschen

In Jackson Heights 2 p.m. Saturday and 5 p.m. Sunday Oklahoma City Museum of Art 415 Couch Drive okcmoa.com 236-3100 $5-$9

Filmmaker Frederick Wiseman’s straightforward, snippet-style storytelling style again delivers a provocative and immersive story about an exceptionally diverse community.

In Jackson Heights, Wiseman’s 40th film, shows Saturday and Sunday at Oklahoma City Museum of Art, 415 Couch Drive.

Jackson Heights is a neighborhood in the northwest portion of the Queens borough in New York City that some claim is one of the most diverse communities in the world.

Unlike other documentarians who nail narratives in place, voiceovers and face-to-camera interviews, Wiseman is not seen or heard from in his projects.

In Jackson Heights fits that style. He is a fly on the wall, merely the medium for recording the neighborhood.

The area exhibits ethnic, racial and religious diversity. The film opens with a poetic Islamic call to prayer.

Senior and LGBT communities also are strongly featured throughout the project.

It’s fascinating how a community comprised of so many seemingly disparate groups finds balance within a population of more than 60,000 residents.

There is no central storyline to the collection of clips from Wiseman, but there are some standout scenes and themes:

LGBT seniors and religion: Queens Center for Gay Seniors members discuss whether they should continue holding temporary residence at the local community center, which doubles as a synagogue.

The Mayor: A touching birthday party for a man called The Mayor (though not the sitting mayor) takes a sharp turn after it is crashed by a singing telegram.

Loneliness: A 98-year-old lady sadly confesses she has only one real friend.

Mom-and-pops: Immigrant businessmen fight to keep their small shops open against pressure from landlords to move out to allow in larger, national businesses.

Viewers from outside Jackson Heights or New York City might wonder exactly how its themes

might affect them. But then again, encouraging audiences to think about just that is part of the point of In Jackson Heights — issues in each of these stories impact every community across America.

Though many different community groups were put into the film, there is little evidence of them ever interacting.

And perhaps many of them don’t.

These stories pique curiosity, and viewers want to know more.

These groups often speak thoughtfully about each other and living side by side, but we don’t see much communication.

We don’t see conflict or how it’s resolved in real time.

Even so, In Jackson Heights is a beautiful journey into a clearly vibrant neighborhood and microcosm of the world in which we all live.

Oklahoma Gazette | december 30, 2015 | 37

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

by ROB BREZNY

Homework: If you’ d like to enjoy my books, music, and videos without spending any money, go here: http://bit.ly/LiberatedGifts.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) John Koenig is an artist who invents new words.

Here’s one that’s applicable to your journey in 2016: “keyframe.” Koenig defines it as being a seemingly mundane phase of your life that is in fact a turning point. Major plot twists in your big story arrive half-hidden amidst a stream of innocuous events. They don’t come about through “a series of jolting epiphanies,” Koenig says, but rather “by tiny imperceptible differences between one ordinary day and the next.” In revealing this secret, I hope I’ve alerted you to the importance of acting with maximum integrity and excellence in your everyday routine.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) The coming months look like one of the best times ever for your love life. Old romantic wounds are finally ready to be healed. You’ll know what you have to do to shed tired traditions and bad habits that have limited your ability to get the spicy sweetness you deserve. Are you up for the fun challenge? Be horny for deep feelings. Be exuberantly aggressive in honoring your primal yearnings. Use your imagination to dream up new approaches to getting what you want. The innovations in intimacy that you initiate in the coming months will keep bringing you gifts and teachings for years to come.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) In ancient times, observers of the sky knew the difference between stars and planets. The stars remained fixed in their places. The planets wandered around, always shifting positions in relationship to the stars. But now and then, at irregular intervals, a very bright star would suddenly materialize out of nowhere, stay in the same place for a while, and then disappear. Chinese astronomers called these “guest stars.” We refer to them as supernovae. They are previously dim or invisible stars that explode, releasing tremendous energy for a short time. I suspect that in 2016, you may experience the metaphorical equivalent

of a guest star. Learn all you can from it. It’ll provide teachings and blessings that could feed you for years.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Be alert for an abundance of interesting lessons in 2016. You will be offered teachings about a variety of practical subjects, including how to take care of yourself really well, how to live the life you want to live, and how to build the connections that serve your dreams. If you are even moderately responsive to the prompts and nudges that come your way, you will become smarter than you thought possible. So just imagine how savvy you’ll be if you ardently embrace your educational opportunities. (Please note that some of these opportunities may be partially in disguise.)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) The silkworm grows fast. Once it hatches, it eats constantly for three weeks. By the time it spins its cocoon, it’s 10,000 times heavier than it was in the beginning. On the other hand, a mature, 60-foot-tall saguaro cactus may take 30 years to fully grow a new side arm. It’s in no hurry. From what I can tell, Leo, 2015 was more like a silkworm year for you, whereas 2016 will more closely resemble a saguaro. Keep in mind that while the saguaro phase is different from your silkworm time, it’s just as important.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “The sky calls me,” wrote Virgo teacher and poet Sri Chinmoy. “The wind calls me. The moon and stars call me. The dense groves call me. The dance of the fountain calls me. Smiles call me, tears call me. A faint melody calls me. The morn, noon and eve call me. Everyone is searching for a playmate. Everyone is calling me, ‘Come, come!’” In 2016, Virgo, I suspect you will have a lot of firsthand experience with feelings like these. Sometimes life’s seductiveness may overwhelm you, activating confused desires to go everywhere and do everything. On other occasions, you will be enchanted by the lush invitations, and will know exactly how to respond and reciprocate.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) In the 19th century, horses were a primary mode of personal transportation. Some people rode them, and

others sat in carriages and wagons that horses pulled.

But as cities grew larger, a problem emerged: the mounting manure left behind on the roads. It became an ever-increasing challenge to clear away the equine “pollution.” In 1894, a British newspaper predicted that the streets of London would be covered with nine feet of the stuff by 1950. But then something unexpected happened: cars. Gradually, the threat of an excremental apocalypse waned. I present this story as an example of what I expect for you in 2016: a pressing dilemma that will gradually dissolve because of the arrival of a factor you can’t imagine yet.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) The longest river in the world flows through eastern Africa: the Nile. It originates below the equator and empties into the Mediterranean Sea. Although its current flows north, its prevailing winds blow south.

That’s why sailors have found it easily navigable for thousands of years. They can either go with the flow of the water or use sails to harness the power of the breeze. I propose that we make the Nile your official metaphor in 2016, Scorpio. You need versatile resources that enable you to come and go as you please ­— that are flexible in supporting your efforts to go where you want and when you want.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) In many cases, steel isn’t fully useful if it’s too hard.

Manufacturers often have to soften it a bit. This process, which is called tempering, makes the steel springier and more malleable. Car parts, for example, can’t be too rigid. If they were, they’d break too easily.

I invite you to use “tempering” as one of your main metaphors in 2016, Sagittarius. You’re going to be strong and vigorous, and those qualities will serve you best if you keep them flexible. Do you know the word “ductile”? If not, look it up. It’ll be a word of power for you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) In his essay “The Etiquette of Freedom,” poet Gary Snyder says that wildness “is perennially within us, dormant as a hard-shelled seed, awaiting the fire or flood that awakes it again.” The fact that it’s a “hard-shelled” seed is a crucial detail. The vital stuff

inside the stiff outer coating may not be able to break out and start growing without the help of a ruckus. A fire or flood? They might do the job. But I propose, Capricorn, that in 2016 you find an equally vigorous but less disruptive prod to liberate your dormant wildness. Like what? You could embark on a brave pilgrimage or quest. You could dare yourself to escape your comfort zone. Are there any undomesticated fantasies you’ve been suppressing? Unsuppress them!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Frederick the Great was King of Prussia between 1740 and 1786. He was also an Aquarius who sometimes experimented with eccentric ideas. When he brewed his coffee, for example, he used champagne instead of water. Once the hot elixir was ready to drink, he mixed in a dash of powdered mustard.

In light of the astrological omens, I suspect that Frederick’s exotic blend might be an apt symbol for your life in 2016: a vigorous, rich, complex synthesis of champagne, coffee, and mustard. (P.S. Frederick testified that “champagne carries happiness to the brain.”)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) My Piscean acquaintance Arturo plays the piano as well as anyone I’ve heard. He tells me that he can produce 150 different sounds from any single key. Using the foot pedals accounts for some of the variation. How he touches a key is an even more important factor. It can be percussive, fluidic, staccato, relaxed, lively, and many other moods. I invite you to cultivate a similar approach to your unique skills in 2016. Expand and deepen your ability to draw out the best in them. Learn how to be even more expressive with the powers you already possess.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes /daily text message horoscopes.

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing

Act of 1968, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, national origin or an intention to make any such preference, limitation, preference or discrimination.

This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate which is in violation of this law. Our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings in our newspaper are available on an equal housing opportunity basis.

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