Where Smokin' U-S-AAAAA

WHERE TO SMOKE: USA!

Just like the Beach Boys were famous for their “Surfin ’ USA, ” so too now shall your very own favorite public cannabissmoking columnist be famous for “smokin’ USA!”

Now that The Chronic is being distributed nationally, I’ll be doing my best to spread the word about the best spots to smoke cannabis not only in Oklahoma but in other states where cannabis is legal like California, Oregon, Washington, and more. So join me for this first-ever edition of Where to Smoke: USA!

But first and foremost, one thing must be addressed: public smoking laws for cannabis, like laws governing cannabis itself, vary widely from state to state. For example, in Oklahoma it’s technically legal for licensed patients to smoke or vape cannabis anywhere that it’s legally permitted to smoke tobacco.

Basically, unless a venue otherwise states so, you can smoke your cannabis virtually anywhere that has a patio or similar area where you can smoke cigarettes and cigars.

In Colorado, public cannabis smoking is prohibited, but that policy is not necessarily strictly enforced.

Although I doubt you could get away with lighting up on a bar’s patio like you can in Oklahoma (although I’m sure that, also like Oklahoma, it probably depends on the bar), it’s easy enough to smoke cannabis in public in Colorado somewhere slightly out of the way so as to not bother anyone who would object.

Social consumption rules in some cities, however, ban public smoking or cannabis lounges within so many feet of churches or schools.

In Oregon, cannabis smoking is kept only to private areas; even public cannabis smoking lounges are non-existent due to local laws. Members-only private lounges, as well as select Airbnb or “Bud and Breakfasts, ” however, are popular and relatively plentiful.

One of the most interesting of these B&B’s is a Dutch Colonial style home in the Alberta district of Portland, Oregon called “The Doctor’s House”.

Overseen by its founder, Bill “The Doctor ” Stewart, who is known for providing plenty of fresh-brewed coffee and madefrom-scratch muffins to his guests, the house is chock full of kitschy charm and several bongs.

Guests can choose between either the Blue Dream Room or the Pineapple Express Room, and consume as much high-grade Oregon cannabis as they wish. Multiple dispensaries with shining reputations are within walking distance of the home in the Alberta Arts District, as well as several restaurants and shops, allowing guests to have easy access to all the entertainment and supplies they’ll need for their trip. But despite being so close to such a busy urban area, the reviews and news items about the house state that it retains the rustic charm and quiet solitude of a vacation cottage.

Although currently temporarily closed due to California’s more stringent enforcement of COVID-19 pandemic guidelines, The Cannabis Cafe (formerly known as the Lowell Cafe) is one of the first places I can remember learning about and thinking “I have got to smoke there."

Situated in a gorgeous West Hollywood building covered in plant life and doused in natural California sunlight, The Cannabis Cafe was the first of its kind when it opened in 2019.

Guests are encouraged to make reservations beforehand, and when they arrive are greeted by their own personal budtender, who recommends strains and methods of consumption based on their experience levels and desired feelings. Guests may vape, smoke, dab, or even eat their THC (the cafe menu serves non-infused food, but for 20 dollars you can infuse any of the dishes on the menu with either Sativa-dominant or Indica-dominant cannabutter), all while enjoying stellar views of Los Angeles.

An extensive menu of pre-rolls, flower, concentrate, and edibles is available, and wait staff and budtenders collaborate for food and bud pairings. This allows guests to stimulate their minds, bodies, and palettes together to maximum potential.

Unfortunately, because of restrictions in California, any cannabis products purchased at the restaurant must be used at the cafe and cannot be taken home. Guests are allowed to bring their own cannabis as an alternative but will be charged a small “tokage” fee.

Meanwhile, in Oklahoma, I thought I’d find some interesting haunted locales to spark up at since we ’ re knee-deep in Spooky Season! I searched and searched for a haunted house that might permit cannabis-smoking in some form or another, but it seems that Hex House, Trail of Terror, and The Asylum, though scary, is also scared of big bad weed. One haunted venue that has a relaxed stance about cannabis, however, is Lost Lakes Amphitheater and Water Park (which appears to have possibly changed its name to “Wake Zone Cable Park”), home to the Lost Lakes Haunted Forest/Nightfall Haunted Territory.

Stretching a mile long, this haunted attraction is all outdoors, meaning it’s probably easy to puff on a joint—or at least a vape—as you trudge deeper into the terrors that await you.

But if you can't get away with toking up while whatever evil that’s haunting “Springwood High” pursues you through the woods, surely you can spark one up if you make it through with your party of survivors to the end.

There, you ’ll find a “toasty fire-pit” and a fullservice snack bar, complete with adult beverages. If you and your group can somehow survive the trip there, that smoke should taste that much sweeter.

Happy Halloween, WheretoSmokers!