olivia g端thling ex p lo r i n g i n t e r r e l at i o n s
Exploring organizational development through the lense of personal experience and interrelations
Disclosure : this is a snapshot of a process. This piece is not about destinations and arrivals. It is about the path. You are already on your way. Let's rethink now !
De f i n i t i o n
1. Core Heart Place of visions The sun » Me «
III. Lower emphathy Low intensive sharing Less bright » They «
II. High empathy High intensive sharing Very bright » You «
The information I am providing in this piece, will give the shape to to boundaries that we have. I am showing where the gates to my core are ; this is the area where I am able to meet the other person ; at a distance ; or in the private sphere. These boundaries in our communication are shaped by the settings and topics that influence our interactions. Getting aware of this system of communication is helpful in many terms. It helps me to understand on which area I am used to communicate, and how close I let others reach to my inner core. Understanding that I am a person who is currently more than happy about contact and enjoys the power of sharing the second circle with others. This comes naturally. I am having a hard time to say I want to » u se « this but I am about to explore possibilities in how this ability can help me to do what I want to do. I am exploring the opportunities for a practice between the words » consulting « , » coaching « and » m entorship « and at the same time searching for a new term which embraces all these practices better. I am exploring the concepts that communication can be improved upon by becoming aware of how we let others into our inner core. I know that this can lead me to a unique way of bringing my design practice together with a business approach and a tool to sustain in the creative business.
About boundaries and leverage points. About consulting and heartful management. About Passion and fasczination. About workers and managers. About inside and outside. About dualitiy and how to overcome duality.
Imagine your heart as sun or torch. The closer you get the brighter it becomes. the moon wouldn't shine without the sun. There are endless circles around us— To make is simple let's focus on three : Me. You. They. Core. Close. Far.
Change Starts in the heart
Read about it. Changes are there about a dozen books written by and about people much like you. Learn from them, enjoy the support they provide through their books. —Geoffrey M. Bellman
Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. —BrenÊ Brown
Dependency is the wish not to be responsible and held accountable for our actions or our direction. It is the choice for innocence. Autonomy is the choice for guilt. —Peter Block
Injection
Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path. —BrenÊ Brown
Cleaning the second layer towards truthfulness
Re c o n n e c t i n g action with heart. Art ?
How to define Art ? Art is not just painting and creative work. Art is connection. Art might be better defined when the Core is connected to our action and the third layer— if A bridge is existing. We can see that—artworks are not that powerful if the artist isn’t communicating his art piece properly. art is blowing us away if it is that what we call » r eal « . Might be a better definition of art be something which would emphasize on that ? Art is when the core is connected with the action : a business, work, a family. A PHOTOGRAPH. It is hard to track but thinking about all pieces which affected us will tell us about that.
Talk about it. Acknowledge that part of yourself to others. Not everyone at once, of course, but try out on someone important to you. » I have been learning that inside me there is a very angry person. « Or go to a support group that is receptive to your explorations of our dark side. All of these alternatives have the effect of revealing you to yourself. They bring your dark side into the light. And in the light it is not as fearful. (…) Acknowleding a weakness, a secret, a dark part of me can be a step toward a resolution. First I need acknowledge it to myself and then I may be ready to acknowledge it to others. Acknowledging to myself is difficult because I have to become aware of the presence of this dark part of myself, a part that I have not been willing to look to. (…) Moving beyond self-awareness to let others in on my secret brings a different kind of threat and opportunity. When I reveal something of myself that I have not shown others in the past, there is the possibility of complete rejection ! There also is the possibility of total acceptance. And this could make it worth trying. —Geoffrey M. Bellman
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hello This is the story beyond all these images. How can we run a marathon instead of short runs ? How can we keep our interest in a job for a long period of time ? Is it possible to utilize connection to have a better life ? How can we re-think the tools of communication to bring people to a level of trust and freedom ? What am I concerned about ? First of all about graphic design and aesthetics as translation tool. More or less I'll work with graphic design my lifetime—this is my call and my profession. How to sustain in that field for a lifetime ? One thing I struggle with is that many people in that business speaking about being overworked or complaining about how it without being able to change it at all. Stress seems to be something given. And it is an illusion to think stress will disappear with the time. It might. But that would dependent on the environment and the management. Many people tend to think we cannot influence that. Practicing in pushing having a healthy so-called work life balance, reading tons of theories and articles about, I made once a move towards exploring life through experiences. After tremendous adventures only life can tell, I found sort of a balance in me but never outside of the duality thinking which surrounds me. It was often about finding balance in being outside of the system and trying to implement that back into this so-called » reality“ (school, work, daily life etc), loosing it again and finally seeking for the next break-out again. Back and forth (which is actually practicing duality either). But the leverage point to overcome this problem-dynamic was never addressed.
h o w c a n a s i c k d o c t o r h e a l a s i c k pa t i e n t Exploring Systems Thinking the questions I’ve described above got urgent : in summer 2013 I figured out a way which made me balanced within myself—through a quite painful and tremendous shift of my awareness of me and others. After that, I’m not able to get back into a system of stress, overwork and offering my lifetime without a reasonable pay-off. I simply can’t do it anymore. I felt that I would have to change the system than my action in order to deal with it. My being is more likely an active part of a system than a passive part. Systems Thinking made up a new world in terms of realizing that with being an active part we actually affect our environment a lot—and that I built and feed the world I am living in more than I ever thought before. Diving into Systems Thinking I found no answers but another structure of thinking. Figuring out that a Systems Thinking approach is actually a way I was always thinking, without knowing or even naming it—my bridge understanding issues when I was a child was actually drawing little systems of connections and relationships. It was always visual. Systems Thinking thought me to understand the entire system with all its elements. And understanding that each element is connected to another system. So what happened is that I can’t avoid questioning the entire system working in the creative business. Trying to understand my concern I had discussions with people about how they feel disconnected, controlled (in a negative way) or misunderstood by their employees. For this unhappiness there seems to be a reason of a bigger scale. I was talking to consultants about my concern and over that I suddenly understood what I was looking for : It is either creating a system which empowers all its parts to create the system collaborative thought understanding interrelations and boundaries. And it is about consultancy : how to bring many people to a bigger joy and connection in their work for very real reasons—because how can a company being successful and creating positive things without being positive within—furthermore being sustainable and successful ? How can a sick doctor heal a sick patient ?
i n o r d e r t o s u rv i v e Connection is important. Connection is what everybody is searching for. Connection happens through actions, through work, through all kinds of practice. Connection happens in communication—to oneself, to another person, to many people. Connection is where reflection happens. Reflection is needed to become aware of actions— human is the only creature (that we know, which is subjective, but anyway) which is able to reflect and recognize itself. This is why people write journals, talk to friends. And communication is not just using the language. Communication through visuals, through non-verbal communication, through consuming tools like Mails and Social Networks, through clothes, through actions and outputs whichever form they take. Communication is behaviour in groups and humans—a gregarious animal— needs interaction in order to survive. This means that you come to your interactions with a well-developed understanding of each other’s inner workings, and you use that privileged knowledge thoughtfully, for each other’s benefit. Intimacy is that safe and comforting feeling you get when you can bask in the knowledge that this other person truly understands and appreciates you.You can relax in this person’s presence and let your guard down. Your mutual sense of trust, perhaps reinforced by your commitments of loyalty to each other, allows each of you to be more open with each other than either of you would be elsewhere.1
To understand on where communication happens might change people's awareness about this action. It might increase consciousness where fear, anxiety or love happens. This is what I try to do, in order to define a vague topic which affects everything but lies on a very simple pattern : through a simple visualization of a systems model, a very complex action can become accessible within a few seconds. Regarding the fact that life is not fully represented in a chain but more in a system it might help to understand those patterns better. It can change behaviour and even might make the reader curious exploring Systems Thinking on their own.
1 — M. Popova : Brain Pickings — The Science of Love (2013)
boundaries A guy comes along and he sees three guys laying bricks. And he says to the first one : What are you doing ? He says : » I’m laying bricks. «—He goes to the second and he says : What are you doing ? He says : » I’m building a wall. «—And he goes to the third one and he says : » W hat are you doing ? « And it’s the same wall. He said : » I am constructing a cathedral. « —Helen Spector
Helen Spector told me the story above to explain what boundaries are. So my journey started with an interview with Don Benson and Helen Spector to talk about my area of concern—which was more an idea than a concrete thought. Boundaries as model for a system I am looking at was the reason why they introduced me to that term—to understand the space we’re focusing on influences how we think about world and action. Different boundaries change the meaning an action might have. Two people with different boundaries might do the same thing but they mean something different to them. I immediately started to see circles. How and what we are focussing on. They introduced me also to the idea of an consulting practice and how language can make people feel connected or disconnected. Alignment & concistency Yet far beyond feeling good, a micro-moment of love, like other positive emotions, literally changes your mind. It expands your awareness of your surroundings, even your sense of self. The boundaries between you and not-you — what lies beyond your skin—relax and become more permeable. While infused with love you see fewer distinctions between you and others. Indeed, your ability to see others — really see them, wholeheartedly—springs open. Love can even give you a palpable sense of oneness and connection, a transcendence that makes you feel part of something far larger than yourself.1
1 — M. Popova : Brain Pickings — The Science of Love (2013)
co m mu n i cat i o n From my own experience I know very well how connection shapes interaction and might create a feeling of being comfortable or being uncomfortable. Living in turkey for a year was tremendous but I remember how I had a deep feeling of disconnection especially on the beginning of my stay—I knew some turkish but not much. My environment was english-speaking but it makes a difference if I was walking on the street without being able to understand what people say to each other. Spontaneous interaction was possible but difficult. Language can be a barrier. There was communication happening and it became more after a few months. Communication is needed to feel good in a place—to be understood and being able to understand. The experience of living in America is totally different—knowing the language makes me able to connect. This feeling of connection makes my stay in America intense, connected and warm. Language can be a bridge. So how can a barrier or a gap become a bridge ? Once I was driving with the bus in Portland Oregon and heard the driver saying : » H ey guys, please be aware that it’s quite icy outside and make sure that you are safe when leaving the bus. « Here is when I realized—epiphany !—one big difference between the english and german. In english, anybody is you. In germany we have to adress people in two ways : sie and du. About the pollite » you « : Sie This polite form implies a certain formality between people and takes into account social considerations. Sie is used for those people we address as Herr, Frau and with other titles (such as your German teacher !) It is also polite to address co-workers as Sie.1
1 — German You – du, ihr, Sie.
About the more informal » you « : du This form is expressed only with those with whom one is on familiar or intimate terms, such as : family, close friends, children, pets and in prayer. In Germany the word friend isn’t used as liberally as in America, or at least it doesn’t carry quite the same meaning. Ein(e) Freund(in) is used more to denote what we call here » a close friend «, whereas the word ein Bekannter / e ine Bekannte is the preferred term used for » casual « friends and acquaintances.1
Peter Block also describes how language changes the way we perceive the world : How much authority we have ? (…) We must be in love with » t hey « because we talk about they all the time. They won’t let us do this, they shoot messengers, they care more about form than substance, they don’t want to hear problems, they just want solutions. (…) All the talk about » t hey « is the way our dependency gets expressed. (…) If we seriously want to transform organizational cultures, we have to confront and understand our own wish to be dependent and to see what choices we have. 2
Language pulls people closer to us—or away. This is influenced by culture and habits but it gets » real“ through language. Is that a reason why I feel very connected to people ? I feel attention when I’m meeting a person who I would address with the polite form and I am always delighted to realize one second after : this game does not work here anymore. Language shapes and defines the dimensions of awareness and interrelations and should be understood as ultimate tool of communication. What has two forms in my country has one here. And it influences me. Everyone is you.
1 — German You – du, ihr, Sie. 2. — P. Block : The Empowered Manager (1987), p. 163
pa t t e r n s a n d j u n g l e s In science many people tend to display complexity with all its elements to be objective. I believe this is true. But I also believe that complexity might hide us from seeing the whole picture. And Systems Thinking is about seeing the whole picture. I can make it easy to the reader to see the whole picture too, or I could try to make them confused. This is my decision. I want to make complexity understandable, first by making my graphics light and second, by showing that this initial feeling of complexity does not come from outside but from the inside. What I am saying is, that complexity has its roots in us. If we feel overwhelmed by complexity in the world, it is because we got lost within all the layers and elements we are made of. How can clear water flow out of a polluted lake ? And what is the action we need to do in order not just to clean the water which flows out but to clean the entire lake ? I am trained to use simplicity to understand the very core of issues. Suddenly it was clear to me, that complexity is for real and it (might) reflect a world we live in. But complexity can be also overwhelming. I am concerned about systems but I’m having a hard time to read huge systems models with tons of descriptions and pictures. Also by giving very specific explanations or examples to explain a system it might get too abstract to be interpreted by somebody else. They are good and inspiring but my concern is to explain Systems Thinking to people who never thought about it and might never have the time to really get into it—because of time constraints etc. I am a graphic designer and I am in love with systems thinking. my goals are : 1. 2. 3. 4.
Explaining systems to people who have little time. Allow others to see patterns beyond own experiences. Finding the smallest common denominator. The benefit for me : to understand leverage points leading me to a potential future coaching practice.
Even though I understand the systems very clearly I had a hard time boiling it down. Visuals are helping me a lot. Writing is helping me a lot. So this is what I am doing : I am doing pictures using aesthetics which are hopefully appropriate. I am making hand drawn pictures because I want them to be imperfect and organic.
engagement and the power of experience I discussed my models and thoughts with people who are currently dealing with systems I am interested in : business people, managers, therapists, coaches, consultants, designers, researchers. I wanted to meet them to proof if my models affect them—if my models are understandable. Furthermore I want to understand how do they think, in order to address my design better. All these conversations with many people with random backgrounds made one thing clear to me : even this conversation I just had is having an impact. People adapted the models, and they came up with their own story. And this is all I want to do with my models : I am coming up with a model because of a particular experience. I have my perspective and my story. So I could tell this story very specific and overwhelm others with details so they would just listen and absorb. One way conversation. And that is great—the best movies are made like this. But I want to invite others to share their story, because I am curious, I want to learn, I want to understand. So by telling my story but also coming up with a big picture beyond, a conversation gets what I like to call » philosophical conversation“. This is the moment where I was explaining my model via visuals. This is distinction to a one-way-talk : the visuals are my offering. The visuals are a bridge. I invite people to go over it. Also the visuals facilitated an open and delightful conversation : inspiration ! This is what communication is all about. And this is what happened just with using circles and easy words. This is what impact is : sharing. I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued ; when they can give and receive without judgment ; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.1
1 — B. Brown : Quotes.
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n av i g a t i o n Anyone I’ve met to talk about models gave me important input to improve the accessibility of those and to define them clearly. Through all these discussions I was able to reframe my model and to understand it better. What works in my brain does not mean that this makes sense to others. Furthermore the model in itself got alive. My model explains how and why contact is important to maintain a healthy and fulfilled life and thought sharing my thoughts communication happened.
landscapes The first conversation was with a german manager who is working in Far East, Germany and Turkey. I understood a lot about clarity and definition. He made me aware of how hypercomplex systems are and which unexpected parameters could appear and destroy my theoretical concept. What if a system is like a landscape. Navigating through a system like navigating in a landscape—being faced up with earth, water, rain, desert, fauna, winds, altitude, inhabitants. And that works together and is connected. Linear long highways can be great because we can fall into an illusion of endlessness or of a certain duality : destination and arrival. What what happens in between ? Aren’t there tons of sidewalks ? And what’s offroad ? Linear thinking displays not the world we are living in. Thinking in linear terms is great because on a long road we can speed up, because it goes straight. But in order to keep driving straight, there will be a time to get petrol. Or we need to change oil. We need to repair the car. All these actions are connecting us with other systems, and it gets complex. From macro to micro… Seeing a system as a landscape includes also to think about language, history, culture or religion of the inhabitants. How different cultures reinforce different systems and logic models and to facilitate a intercultural collaboration very much empathy is needed in order to move on. To be critical about any model and explanation is important—what makes sense to me can be offensive for another person. American self-evidence elevates several ideas but the same elements of these models got maybe another value in germany. Systems are highly dynamic. Loss of control : maybe but via constantly asking questions we keep ourselves dynamic—to let ourselves dance with a dynamic system. Who wants to dance with a stiff partner ? That dance won’t happen.
responsibilities My next interviewee : a young female sales manager for a medium-sized software start-up company with 20 employees in Germany and 100 employees in China. Talking to her, I had the person in front of my I want to help with my models. I was listening to her concerns and problems to understand her system and where her unhappiness might be and where the leverage point is. She is working in a management position and she is doing well but also feels not comfortable being in a leading position. Being the only link between the boss and her team she feels overwhelmed by complexity. Afraid to make mistakes or so show weakness it is hard for her to speak about that feeling of being overwhelmed. Additionally she reports that her brain simply has not enough space to process all problems she has to deal with With 8 hours a day is not enough time to process complexity of an international operating system. Pushing harder and harder on familiar solutions, while fundamental problems persist or worsen, is a reliable indicator of nonsystemic thinking—what we often call the » what we need here is a bigger hammer « syndrome. 1
An organizational design which would solve her problems on its roots is needed. Her problems got outsourced and compensated external—problems occur, tension within the team, a feeling of disconnection, the painful notion of being a insufficient worker (even if that is not the case). But in fact her negative emotions might never leave the state of speculation. Maybe a conversation with co workers and the management would show, that she is not the only person feeling overwhelmed. What if she shares that experience and could handle complexity better in a collaborative environment. Why is it so hard to break through that invisible barrier talking about weakness ? Through projecting the illusion of being secure (having a job) to the management a dependency creates an unhealthy work environment. Behaviour in our work is actually repeating a pattern from our childhood : 1 — P. Senge : The Fifth Discipline (1990), p. 61
We are conditioned from the beginning to treat people who have power over us with lot of attention and respect. This yearning for external control is an expression of our dependency. Dependency, the belief that our survival is in someone else’s hands, is realistic in our early years and becomes an issue we have to deal with the rest of our lives. (…) How much authority we have ? (…) We must be in love with » they « because we talk about they all the time. They won’t let us do this, they shoot messengers, they care more about form than substance, they don’t want to hear problems, they just want solutions. (…) All the talk about » t hey « is the way our dependency gets expressed. (…) If we seriously want to transform organizational cultures, we have to confront and understand our own wish to be dependent and to see what choices we have. 1 Our parents are our guardians, being human and imperfect, in some ways disappoint us. Confronted with our dependency and our frustration, we begin to develop strategies on how to get what we want from people who have power over us. These strategies, indirect by necessity, become our political scripts. These scripts are created and honed in the early years at home, are developed even further at school, and finally are brought into the workspace.2
What would help ? An infrastructure to change a linear thinking into a cyclical thinking. Or communication and sharing : sharing complexity is reducing complexity. Positive feedback loops through compliments. Contact !
1 — Block, Peter : The empowered manager (1987), p. 162f 2 — Block, Peter : The empowered manager (1987), p. 165
one two three Talking to Hillary Bradbury-Huang (Action Researcher) I understood the scale of the lack of accessible information in organizational development—a gap about the value of interrelations. Actually interrelations count even more than actions. She introduced me to the action research model on First, Second and Third person work, which I just want to stay in itself : First person research practice : developing attention in the midst of life for better action research » First person inquiry is a foundation for inquiry that can liberate us from worn out ways of seeing and acting in the world.’I’ frames, assesses and performs. ’I’ is the instrument of activity in action inquiry and indeed all forms of social research ! 1 Second person inquiry : working in the midst of differential power : The first illustration of second person inquiry, i.e. inquiry in small groups, comes from the work of action research oriented social workers Bessa Whitmore and Collette McGee (2001) whose work in program evaluation showed particular concern with relational participation. The second comes from the work of the first author in which critical theory is put into the practice of organizational learning. « 2 Third person action-research : developing infrastructure to sustain large-scale change : Large-scale effort to convene dialogue groups for people who never meet or speak, but whose work is nonetheless interdependent, is a typical focus of third person research practice. Gustavsen (2001) offers an example of this when he writes of cross-institutional democratic dialogues in Sweden for the develop- ment of ’learning regions.’ Senge and Scharmer (2001) who refer to their similar work as ’community action research’ describe it as : 1. fostering relationships and collaboration among diverse organizations, and among the consultants and researchers working with them ;
1 — P. Reason : » The sage Handbook of Action Research Participative Inquiry and Practice (2007), p. 159 2 — P. Reason : » The sage Handbook of Action Research Participative Inquiry and Practice (2007), p. 161
2. creating settings for collective reflection that enable people from different organizations to ›see themselves in one another ;‹ 3. leveraging progress in individual organizations through cross-institutional links so as to sustain transformative changes that otherwise would die out. «1
At that point I already had a circle model but that thought gave this model new definitions. What if this is about areas of Me, You and I ? Interrelations as point where a person understands himself/herself. Writing journals works as internal reflection and interrelations as external reflection : » regular practice of journal writing to establish an inner dialogue through which one’s habits of though and ideed one’s habits of the heart can reval themselves slowly over time « 2 ? How a person is dealing with interrelations and what it is telling us ? What is this telling us in term of organizational development ? Why we feel a gap between body and soul : » exercise rituals like Tai Chi to Yoga and Sport or both etc. engaging mindfully with the regular yet emergent opportunities of daily life «3. I try to adapt this model to my model of interrelations and awareness. In terms of awareness there should be a lot of circles around the inner core. I decided to draw two to simplify this model. The middle circle is somehow this area where things might change. A point of transition, and a street of energy passing by coming from or going to the core. A common misunderstanding that anything in the second circle is equal to our heart—but actually it is external but close, this illusion of connection ends up in duality thinking of yes and no. But what about the grey zone in between ? This conversation was tremendous and lead me to the final design of circles of awareness : the second circle is seen as a gap and my approach would be to make a bridge out of it. One thought came up during our conversation : that the current business world is 1 — P. Reason : » The sage Handbook of Action Research Participative Inquiry and Practice (2007), p. 166 2 — P. Reason : » The sage Handbook of Action Research Participative Inquiry and Practice (2007), p. 161 3 — P. Reason : » The sage Handbook of Action Research Participative Inquiry and Practice (2007), p. 160
about to change because more and more women start working in management positions. Peter Block states : When we ask people to move in the direction of their own autonomy, we ask them to bet their savings. This violates the patriarchal contract most of us have with large organizations. We join large organizations because we think we’ll be safe and » they « will provide for our future. Unfortunately, we may discover too late that the » safe « path was not very safe. (…) We are conditioned from the beginning to treat people who have power over us with lot of attention and respect. This yearning for external control is an expression of our dependency. Dependency, the belief that our survival is in someone else’s hands, is realistic in our early years and becomes an issue we have to deal with the rest of our lives. « 1
1 — P. Block : The Empowered Manager (1987), p. 162
the bulk The problem with arrogance is that it makes your world smaller. The more you dismiss people as incapable of understanding your idea, the easier it becomes to do again. You create a category that they fit into, and when you assess a new person you start to focus on yourself. Instead of sitting down with someone to search for common ground, you sit down with them and try to rapidly figure out whether they have a predisposition to understand anything that you’re telling them.1
How does change happen ? Let’s try this version : for some reason, the world becomes bigger—a tremendous epiphany expands the shape of the heart. The growth of the heart expands the second circle, and the third expands afterwards. For example somebody learns a little bit of a new language : turkish ! Knowledge and awareness expands, the person gets curious going into turkish grocery stores because world isn’t totally unkown anymore. Talking to people, reading labels, understanding bits and pieces. Furthermore by reading newspapers the person might be more aware of things going on in turkey. Awareness increases and the core changes its shape, and the outer circles too. Resilience might be an issue so the learning has to be strong enough to really make a change. But if it’s real, that shift can only come from the core. All circles should move at least somewhat at once otherwise aligment get’s lost—confusion, untruthfulness, dependency. Our enemy is not lack of preparation ; it’s not the difficulty of the project, or the state of the marketplace, or the emptiness of our bank account. The enemy is resistance. The enemy is our chattering brain, which, if we give it so much as a nanosecond, will start producing excuses, alibis, transparent self-justifications, and a million reasons why he can’t / shouldn’t / won’t do what we know we need to do.2
1 — C. Brown. The Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance is Empathy (2013) 2 — St. Claire, Stephanie : 11 Things I Wish I Knew When I Started My Business (2013)
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conclusion I thought my personal experience has no space to express entirely whatever I am doing. They say » We are starting into an professional career right now, so leave your ego at the door. « Anyway, our Ego is overvalued anyway. Parents and teacher educate us to be selfless. Being selfish is negative. So, so much. It took me years to learn about both parts of our being in the world. Visualizations try to help us to understand about balance. Ying and Yang can be interpreted in many different ways.
direction In Yoga there is one position where the face shows towards the ceiling while the whole body lies streched on the floor. The goal is to stretch the body more. Facing the ceiling gives that position direction. The yoga teacher says » W here the mind goes, the body will follow“. He is talking about direction and about visions. Of course this position would never make people fly and crash on the ceiling. But that is not what this position is about. If core and the circles around are aligned it is possible to control actions as much as possible. Distractions can reduce personal power. So there might be a misalignment of a person that the core is not really in the center. But what if the core isn’t in the same time line—but outside ? Outside of the second circle, or even outside in the third ? Additionally what if we would see this model on a time base—and the core is stucked in the past or in the future (» Life was so much better when I was a child !“ or » I am working hard to have a good life in my retirement“), or the interconnections of the second circle are in another time or the third circles and therefore the actions are not set in the present ? It might be a vision to imagine that all circles of awareness are in the perfect alignment and present. But perfection is not a desirable state, but a » p referred future, a desirable state, an ideal state. « 1. What can we learn from that for business ? I like Peter Blocks thoughts on that, like » a vision is more a philosophy about how we are going to manage the business. «2. Or » t he vision is a lighthouse giving us direction rather than a specific destination. «3 Seeing this models one thing is pretty clear to me : I always believed that optimism helps me in order to have a joyful and successful life : » A vision is an expression of hope and idealism. « 4 If a conscious decision for being positive is equal to a pursuit 1 — P. Block : The Empowered Manager (1987), p. 109 2 — P. Block : The Empowered Manager (1987), p. 114 3 — P. Block : The Empowered Manager (1987), p. 116 4 — P. Block : The Empowered Manager (1987), p. 122
of happiness it might at least try to pull all circles to one piece. We might call that » being focussed « . If from a scientific point of view that might be hard to explain it makes more sense seeing human being as an accumulation of awareness, action and core : a vision » comes from the heart. A vision is some way unreasonable. The heart knows no reason. When our vision asks too much of us, we should begin to trust it. « 1
1 — P. Block : The Empowered Manager (1987), p. 122
control and complexity Talking about complexity I feel it is important to keep that in mind : despite the fact that the world we live in is complex (and it ever was) it changes via the way we think about it. The emotion might look like this : » T his is too much to understand, I do not have the capacity (one day has just 24 hours and will ever have) to enter that entirely, so I feel weak and lose control“. But what if the perception would be like : » I cannot understand all parts of the system but I can share and collaborate with others to deal with an issue.“ Seeing complexity as given thing but knowing about that one single human cannot become a god. If Annika feels overwhelmed and not empowered to share her experience of a complex system she might think that the management or her boss does. Thinking in a strict hierarchy is a part of that type of linear thinking because if I don’t share my feeling of being vulnerable I might be ancious about that the other person is not. The frontier represents danger, unpredictability, and essential loss of control. (…) We demand a lot of data before we make a decision ; we act in the short run because its more predictable and under our control. We only do those things that have extremely visible results because we can measure progress and defend ourselves against accusations that. When we choose the frontier, we’re choosing an unmeasurable and unknowable future. This is a vulnerable choice because if we are forced to explain why we choose that future, how we’re going to get there, or whether that future is possible, we have no solid response we can count on. Moving toward the frontier, creating a vision of greatness, demand an act of faith. (…) This act of faith and act of courage are demanded of each of us if we wish to choose autonomy and put our survival into our own hands. «1
1 — P. Block : The Empowered Manager (1987), p. 110
love To write about love, I want to put some quotes of the book » L ove 2.0 : How our Surpreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do and Become“. Seeing love as the surpreme connection to people in terms of the models, we could ask : If the second layer is a mirror dirty or influenced by a distracting color, how could energy flow back and forth ? How can clear communication happen ? Or seeing the second layer as colored layer—if the heart would be a bright light, the color would be changed. And even if this is a nice color, it wouldn’t be the real color of the heart—it would change. Thinking in dualism some people tend to see hierarchy in that : this person is performing better ! this person is having the more beautiful body ! This is where competition starts because there is this feeling of being not complete. Another thought : if someone is entering our second layer and getting closer, we get excited—connection feels exciting. We start to be anxious or happy or having a crush on someone. When two second layers emerge there is more room for both cores to expand, which feels great. But it can also turn into a pattern of anxiety because for many people a trauma from being disconnected is even unconsciously continued. Connection can develop a lot of power and that makes it even more urgent to become aware of it : » when does a person enters my very personal area ? When does a person presence affect my behaviour ? When do I feel incomplete when this particular person is not around anymore : » Knowing the difference between arrogance and confidence is one of the hardest things to do when you’re trying to make something new. If you lack confidence, you’ll submit to the will of people who are confident. If you’re full of arrogance, you’ll chronically overestimate your own ability. « 1 To hit the thin line between dependency and love is crucial and a huge challenge. We see ourselves in others—and it gets so intense, the closer another person gets. This is important in a personal life but also in how we deal in organizations and groups. How that could be, is actually hard to say. And on the other hand it is pretty easy. There might not be a fixed answer to get. Love and interaction is the eternal back and forth movement and constantly looking for balance and challenge. Awareness 1 — C. Brown. The Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance is Empathy (2013)
is one of the biggest challenges. To get aware of interactions and how to decide in which relationship they are and how close they come is the goal after going into searching for answers through coaching and consulting. Getting aware of interations makes us ready to understand patterns, understanding patterns makes us aware on which parts we might need to work more. Working more on these patterns makes us ready to change behaviour or improve ourselves. Improving ourselves and getting clear what we really want to accomplish makes us better people and allows us to be present—because if doubt doesn't dominates our life anymore, why should we move away from our heart ? Why should we question ourselves doing meaningless work when we know, what is good for us ? Why should somebody be happy when all circumsdances are decisions ? Deciding being active is the key—and this is not comfortable. But it is needed and through continously practicing awareness it becomes natural. If humans wouldn't be curious we wouldn't be so affected by storytelling. Storytelling is about sharing. In order to live a fulfilled life everyone can stark walking a path towards love and consciousness—and might figure out, that this life is way more exiting, challenging and fulfilling than staying anxious, in doubt and dependent. Little steps help. This is why I am writing about interactions. They happen every day. And every day we decide how we live. Every day is a new life. This means that you come to your interactions with a well-developed understanding of each other’s inner workings, and you use that privileged knowledge thoughtfully, for each other’s benefit. Intimacy is that safe and comforting feeling you get when you can bask in the knowledge that this other person truly understands and appreciates you. You can relax in this person’s presence and let your guard down. Your mutual sense of trust, perhaps reinforced by your commitments of loyalty to each other, allows each of you to be more open with each other than either of you would be elsewhere. This is no ordinary moment. Within this mirrored reflection and extension of your own state, you see far more. A powerful back-and-forth union of energy springs up between the two of you, like an electric charge. Odds are, if you were raised in a Western culture, you think of emotions as largely private events. you locate them within a person’s boundaries, confined within their mind and skin. When conversing about emotions, your use of singular possessive adjectives betrays this point of view. You refer to ‚my anxiety,’ ‚his anger,’ or ’her interest.’
Love’s second precondition is connection, true sensory and temporal connection with another living being. You no doubt try to ’stay connected’ when physical distance keeps you and your loved ones apart. You use the phone, e-mail, and increasingly texts or Facebook, and it’s important to do so. Yet your body, sculpted by the forces of natural selection over millennia, was not designed for the abstractions of long-distance love, the XOXs and LOLs. Your body hungers for more.1
1 — M. Popova : Brain Pickings — The Science of Love (2013)
e x ku r s i o n | b o u n d a ry c r i t i q u e Systems of human interaction is using different verbal and nonverbal languages. Words within the languages have different meanings and different connonations. Systems of a conscious awareness is influences by personal experience and environment, and exhanging information. Information exchange is influenced by cultural and sociological agreements between people. Systems of organizations are made out of people acting in the organization and how they behave and of their cultural background. The cultural background is based on education and language and social environments. Systems of visions is expanding the current present into a desirable state by reflecting reality. These visions influence a person personally who is following that vision. The vision is based on an agreement and shared ideas between the person and the vision. Systems of love (high empathy) is a temporary agreement and acceptance of an intensive reflection and interaction with one or many.
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