OMG! Magazine V2 Issue 5

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Dear OMG! Readers, According to WikiAnswers, the spring season does not officially start until March 20. After this year's record-setting cold weather, I am betting that nearly all OMG! readers are impatiently counting down until the first day of spring as long as warmer weather will be guaranteed. I, for one, love the cold weather. I have always been a fan of winter wear, but I readily admit that a change to sunny skies sounds very, very nice right now. On a serious note, nearly two months after the devastating earthquake in Haiti came news that an even more disastrous earthquake had struck Chile. From everyone here at OMG!, we send our love, thoughts and prayers to everyone affected by the catastrophes. Love,

Okie

Okesene Tilo Executive Editor

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n a city riddled with quick eateries and hamburger restaurants galore, you will find a hidden little gem nestled in the heart of Ybor City. Teatro on Seventh honors the historical past of Ybor City and El Centro Español, founded in 1891, by restoring the tin ceiling, the original parquet flooring, the ceiling and the ornate windows. Teatro on Seventh, named after the building’s original nickname, “El Grand Teatro”, is located in a restored two-story brick building built in 1892, and its history is as rich as the menu they serve. In the late 1800s, Teatro served as both a ballroom and a theater by the residents of Ybor City. Like the building’s rich history, you will find a passion for food that is larger than life in Chef/Owner William “Bill” Haines. Haines, a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York, has been a chef for over 28 years.

Teatro features “international fusion cuisine” and balances it to fit the American palate. I was greeted and served by floor manager Leigh Haines. The evening began with a shared signature caesar salad of grilled romaine hearts, shaved pecorino Romano and an aioli glaze. It was an amazing spin on “boring” salad, and the homemade garlic banquette croutons on the side just made the salad pop! Next up was a sampling of homemade hummus, tapenade (a Provençal spread consisting of capers, black olives, and anchovies puréed with olive oil), baba ghanoush (an Arabian dish of eggplant mashed and mixed with various seasonings), and crostinis that will satisfy even the most discerning Mediterranean palate. It was fabulous, and we aren’t even to the entrées yet. Speaking of which, this particular night, my other half was in the mood for seafood with a punch. The lemongrass-skewered shrimp, infused with a homemade Thai red curry sauce was balanced just right and the perfect complement to grilled seafood. Garnished with a flavorful coconut ginger jasmine rice and fresh sprout salad, lemongrass shrimp will certainly please the health-conscious diner in your group. A must-have dish at Teatro! The night was cold and rainy, so, feeling a bit nostalgic, I went for some of Mom’s homemade cooking and had the classic meatloaf over a rich red wine gravy, with roasted garlic mashed potatoes, haricots verts and wax beans - dontcha just love how international fusion can make simple “green beans” sound so elegant? It was classic American home cooking with a side of passionate flair. It made me wax philosophically about Mom, childhood, and made me feel warm inside – a nice touch to an amazing meal! Teatro offers duck, lamb osso bucco, beef tenderloin, tuna, salmon and so much more, meaning something to whet any appetite.

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Always make sure you save room for dessert. Teatro’s banana crème brûlée is to die for! Rich decadent banana flan seasoned just right, layered between homemade vanilla wafers, served with fresh strawberries and a crème anglaise sauce (a light custard mix of sugar, egg yolks and hot milk, flavored with vanilla) - delicate and flavorful, there is enough sweetness in this to melt even the mean, evil Cruella de Vil! Looking for a little bit of chocolate to wrap your meal up with a nice little bow? I recommend the chocolate silk. This wicked dessert is a rich chocolate ganache swirled with rich white chocolate; this cream silk pie would make even Caligula jealous. Served on top a macadamia nut crust it is bathed in crème anglaise and caramel. Also, the chocolate bourbon bread pudding or the homemade ice cream with berries and crème will make any ho-hum day a fabulous one! Make sure you pair all your selections with one of the many wines offered from around the world. I wish I had more space to go on about this four-star diamond in the rough found in Centro Ybor Tampa, but let me leave you with this parting note. One very affordable way to introduce you and yours to Teatro is with the partnership with Muvico Centro Ybor. Offered daily, "Dinner and a Movie" provides you with tickets to a movie of your choice at the Muvico Theater, a dinner that includes your choice of soup or salad, an entrée and dessert, plus valet parking for $25 per person. That’s date night for $50 plus tax and gratuity. I dare you to find a better value in town. “There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” -George Bernard Shaw Until next time…

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"Horror Rockers" AFI to Perform in Tampa: Here's Your Primer!

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elf-described alternative "horror rockers" AFI will be having a special onenight-only engagement at the Ritz Ybor on March 16. This follows two weeks of gigs across Australia, where the band became breakout successes years after their American pop breakthrough. The show at the Ritz will be the second of three stops AFI makes in Florida this month, arriving in Jacksonville first and going on to Pensacola after leaving Tampa. So who are the people behind AFI, what are their inspirations, and how did they become popular? If you're completely new to the band, here's a primer on what you need to know before you walk in the club doors: * The band recorded their first EP in 1991 as a trio in Ukiah, California. High-schoolers Davey Havok, Adam Carson, Mark Stopholese, and Vic Chalker were the founding members. As the members went on to college, AFI disbanded and regrouped, this time with Geoff Kresge replacing Vic Chalker. The band released their first studio album in 1995. Their next three albums (finished in 1996, 1997 and 1998) were released to indie acclaim. Kresge and Stopholese left and were replaced by Hunter Burgan and Jade Puget, who are still with the band today and comprise the band's current lineup alongside Havok and Carson. * Their mainstream success started slowly but surely with their fifth album, 2000's The Art of Drowning. Making only a modest showing on the Billboard 200 albums chart, the momentum continued on with the 2003 album Sing the Sorrow, which spawned two Top 20 singles on the Billboard Modern Rock Charts and won the group an MTV Video Music Award (VMA). Their true OMG 12

Written by Mike Halterman

breakthrough album was 2006's Decemberunderground, which catapulted its way to the top spot on the Billboard 200. Two singles reached the Top 5 on the Modern Rock Charts, including the mainstream crossover "Miss Murder," which made it to #24 on the pop side. * The band is currently touring to promote their newest album, Crash Love, which went on sale in September 2009 and reached #12 on the Billboard 200. Since the release of their breakthrough album, the band became popular not only in the United States, but in the United Kingdom and Australia as well. * The band is well-known for popularizing the "straight edge" phenomena, in which the members do not smoke, drink or use drugs. The flamboyance of certain members of the group, most specifically lead Davey Havok, has caused the band to have to refute many rumors of homosexuality over the years. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but Davey is not gay. Or bi. Get over it. Just because your friend heard he was gay or you read it on some message board doesn't make it so," Jade Puget wrote in a statement to a fan community. The group, however, is very gay-friendly, having had many formative gigs in San Francisco, for example, at the music cooperative 924 Gilman Street. Hopefully this should get you up to speed! Have fun, and don't forget to feel the burn of a fire inside.


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lot of us like to think we have everything on-point as far as fashion goes, but sometimes even the best of us need guidance and a new perspective. Starting with this issue of OMG!, we will be asking celebrities how they put together their own personal styles and what style advice they can give you, the reader.

For the past 14 years, Lauren Koslow has enthralled and enraged television viewers as the “villain you love to hate”, Kate roberts, on nbC’s daytime drama Days of our Lives. One thing that’s as synonymous to Koslow’s image as a dramatic soap opera slap or a drink in the face is her impeccable sense of beauty, fashion and style. OMG! asked the actress about her fascination with style, and she let us know just how her expertise can help others. what do the words “personal style” mean to you? Personal style? it’s what grabs my attention and won’t let go...rather like a piece of art. i keep going back to colors and lines that have attracted me since i first became interested in fashion. it just gets updated as i move along. How long did it take for you to find a personal style that works for you? How long? well, i’ve been playing with image since i was 13! Maybe 12... i was always cutting out fashion photos, sketching costume ideas, [and] sewing up my own creations! i’ve accepted that i’m a combination of boho and classic...the clothes of yves St. Laurent, Christian Lacroix and Karl Lagerfeld represent that ideal for me. what kind of clothes and accessories do you have to have in order to pull off your... ...professional daytime look? My professional daytime look varies. As an actress it depends on the character or situation. i’m also an organic farmer, and jeans, a tee and workboots are my working attire. ...a nighttime “club” look? A nightime club look means playtime to me...maybe elegant elegant glam. i usually like a bit of whimsy in the look as well; can’t be too serious! ...relaxing/going shopping with friends look? i’m into boots lately so everything revolves around the footwear! i’m still loving skinny jeans and deconstructed jackets. what advice would you give to our readers who are still struggling a bit with their own personal styles? Still searching for your personal style? Check out FashiontV ...the fashion network airs the runway shows of so many brilliant designers; old, new, up and coming....get a feel of what appeals to you and then start experimenting with the looks you like. Personal style evolves from knowing yourself and what makes you feel empowered and fabulous! what kinds of fashions do you think will be in this year for men and women? My predictions for the fashion front: longer skirt lengths; more volume and layers; increased detail as constuction becomes more important; more menswear looks for women; and the expansion of expression in style for men. Should be interesting! OMG 14


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written by mike halterman

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he Miss California USA pageant once again serves as a backdrop for anti-gay rhetoric. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that pageant directors Shanna Moakler and Keith Lewis, who all but disowned beauty queen Carrie Prejean last year, didn't want to have a rehash over this issue so soon.

"It's in Leviticus," without quoting any scripture or where to locate it. The sad part is, the National Organization for Marriage has already made her their next media darling, no doubt making her America's Sweetheart to millions of people across the country. In short, she's a rather dangerous breed of moron.

But here we are. In what is ostensibly one of the most liberal states in the Union, one of the stalwarts in the beauty pageant realm has been tarnished yet again with political statements meant to silence a minority. What takes Miss Beverly Hills hopeful Lauren Ashley past the likes of Carrie Prejean, however, is a stunning lack of common sense coupled with rabid devotion to discriminatory passages in the Bible. Ms. Ashley first made our eyebrows arch with her statement against gay marriage. However, as the community has already went through such a fuss with Ms. Prejean, such a statement didn't immediately ruffle lots of feathers the way it did before. Criticism, while definitely existent, was more muted.

Of course, such publicity can reflect negatively not only on Ms. Ashley, but on the city of Beverly Hills. A statement was quickly forwarded to news media in which it disavows any connection the beauty queen may have with Beverly Hills. The Miss California USA contest allows girls to enter by simply picking a city they would like to represent, not like in other states where local pageants occur before state pageants. Ms. Ashley chose Beverly Hills as the town she'd like to represent in the state contest, even though she is a resident of Pasadena. "[The city of Beverly Hills] does not sponsor a beauty pageant and has no association with Miss California USA. As such, there should be no individual claiming the title of Miss Beverly Hills," the statement read.

But then she decided to go there, staking her claim to the titles of both Miss Incongeniality USA and Miss Moron 2010. Where is there, you ask? Well, any fag worth his salt knows that ubiquitous quotation from Leviticus in the Old Testament, stating that homosexuality is an abomination and people who commit abominations must be surely be put to death. Ms. Ashley, in a tone of pure seriousness, told Fox News, "If [God] says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that's a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life." In short, she just admitted that she believes gay people should be killed. On national television. When asked to clarify her Bible quote in an interview with KNBC in Los Angeles, she hesitated before stuttering OMG 18

New York drag queen Lady Bunny has called for a very public boycott of anything relating to News Corporation, which owns Fox News. "If you’re too complacent to even recognize your enemies, how the hell are you going to fight them? And as Lauren Ashley proves, they’re out for blood. Yours," Lady Bunny wrote in her own statement to counter Ashley's Fox News interview. The old adage "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is, as this issue has shown, not entirely true. Lauren Ashley has proven that truly virulent hatred and utter cluelessness are traits that, when mixed together, can wound with pinpoint precision. Anita Bryant isn't an issue of the past; she's simply changed her face and name.


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ike most gay men, I’m sucker for a good bitch, and no one does it better than Kelly Cutrone – the super-chic, villainess boss from MTV’s The Hills, The City, and Bravo’s Kell on Earth. Hello! She makes people cry for a living. Reality television aside, Cutrone is also the founder of fashion public relations firm People’s Revolution. This is kind of a big deal for people lik e me with bachelor’s degrees in PR. Duh! Oh, and she’s originally from Upstate New York – always a plus. So when I heard she was penning a part-memoir, partself-help book, I was ecstatic! Think Sarah Jessica Parker at a free-for-all Manolo Blahnik sample sale. Pretty epic...and with complete honesty, I can say that Kelly Cutrone did not disappoint. Reading her book, all 200 pages of it, is like finding yourself front row at the hottest collection at New York Fashion Week where you just so happen to be seated next to a former ‘80s “it girl.” Immediately, this chick starts bragging about her infamous, drug-fueled party past (Tunnel used to be her playground!). You begin to feel a little bit intimidated. How can you possibly outdo her? Also...when she starts rambling incoherently about the religious awakening of Mirra Alfasa (Mother), you might just find yourself asking, “Is she still high?” But then…suddenly, something takes over and you realize this woman hasn’t just lived a life – she’s lived a journey. Listen. Pay attention because she’s got something to say. Even if it does take her 183 pages to explicitly name her audience – women and gay men. Kelly Cutrone will make you think (page 48): “I’ve died several times while in the same body, each time paving the way for an amazing rebirth… After all, you can’t truly be happy if you’ve never known pain. You can’t truly feel joy if you’ve never felt heartbreak. You OMG 20

can’t really know what it’s like to be filled unless you’ve been empty.” Kelly Cutrone will make you laugh (page 157): “There’s someone here trying to remove things that I have the right to keep,” I told the operator when she still refused to leave. “I can throw the bitch out the window, or you can come down here and handcuff her and make her leave.” In the end, “Mama Wolf” proves to be more than just a bitch that wears all black and combs her hair when she feels like it. She’s fierce, intuitive and inspirational. I’m off in search of my own tribe… I suggest you head to the nearest bookstore.


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written by mike halterman

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outh Florida seems to have become a hotbed for anti-gay discrimination recently, as two highly-publicized cases mentioned in a past issue of OMG! have already illustrated. The newest victim is a 61-year-old licensed practical nurse and former drag queen. Ray Fetcho, who was well-known in the '70s and '80s as drag queen "Tiny Tina" at Fort Lauderdale's now-defunct Copa club, has been fired from his job at an assisted living facility in Davie. His crime: failing to report a 34-year-old misdemeanor when changing jobs over the course of his career. The circumstances regarding how he received such a conviction would not even bat an eye or scandalize anyone in the community today. On March 31, 1976, Fetcho, as "Tiny Tina," was arrested and charged with promoting "lewd and lascivious behavior," a second-degree misdemeanor at that time. The arrest stemmed from the promotion of the club's "Wet Jockey Shorts" contest, in which buckets of water would be thrown on men who volunteered to dance in their underwear. Something considered par for the course by today's club standards caused trouble for Fetcho and the bar back in 1976, but it had been successfully put out of sight and out of mind...until now. Last month, the Agency for Health Care Administration performed routine screenings on employees in Florida care facilities, turning up Fetcho's conviction from 1976. Fetcho, an LPN for 40 years who received no difficulties in his work immediately after

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his arrest or with subsequent employers, was forced to leave his job so the facility could continue abiding by state and national laws. The South Florida Gay News (SFGN) originally broke the story, and its publisher, Norm Kent, is now Fetcho's legal counsel. "I promise you that this injustice will be cured and that Ray Fetcho will get an exemption- and be restored to his tenure as an LPN," Kent said in an SFGN public statement. Now it is up to Kent to petition the board for an exemption for Fetcho, which should not be too hard to find as many past residents and employers have come to his aid. In fact, two facilities have offered Fetcho his position back should these challenges subside, one of which being Victoria Villa, the care clinic that was forced to discharge him in the first place. "Fetcho has been a valuable addition to our company. He is so wellliked that he still maintains relationships with the families of residents who have since passed...[he has shown] reliability and strong ethical character," said Lucie Eichler, his former employer at Victoria Villa in the SFGN exclusive. Time passes, and with a career record as spotless as Fetcho's, it should not be difficult to explain to a review board that nobody is being "protected" by putting him out of work. Homosexuals have come a long way from 1976, and I am confident that in time, Mr. Fetcho will be vindicated. History's already vindicated his so-called misdemeanor, so now all we have to do is wait.


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WHAT MAKES FOR A GOOD ONLINE DATING PROFILE? IS IT TRUE THAT SKIN IS IN ON THE WEB? ARE WASHBOARD ABS AND A TIGHT DERRIERE REQUIRED TO SCORE SOME CYBERNOOKIE? WE POSED SOME OF THE BIGGEST DATING PROFILE MYTHS TO THE BOYS WHO KNOW BEST: THE NEW MODELS OF THE LEADING GAY HOOKUP SITE ON THE WEB, MANHUNT.

STORY

MYTH: Professional photos attract more men to your profile.

Jake: That’s false. Home camera pics will do just fine. I actually prefer iPhone and BlackBerry pics. They’re grittier and more real.

MYTH: You have to show your face.

Tyler: I like to think I have a pretty good face. Still, I find when I post a body shot, or even snaps of my feet, my profile generates more interest than when I post my face. It’s important to have a face image handy, though, because most guys will ask to see it in order to seal the deal.

MYTH: Size matters.

Jake: Are we being honest? I’d say that myth is true, especially on Manhunt. C’mon, most guys on Manhunt are looking for a pitcher, not a belly itcher.

MYTH: It’s a buyer’s market for tops.

Robbie: Definitely true. Bottoms outnumber tops for sure. Luckily, though, there are plenty of inches to go around online. I certainly haven’t noticed a shortage.

MYTH: You should smile in photos.

Daryl: Nope. I find a brooding stare into the camera will intrigue the most guys. Smiling sends the message that you’re likely annoyingly happy and clingy.

MYTH: The greater your age, the less interest your profile will attract.

Robbie: Sad but true. Most gay guys look younger than their age anyway so I always tell my older friends to knock a few years off their profile.

MYTH: You can’t find Mr. Right online.

Daryl: The biggest myth. There are plenty of guys looking for partners online. If you’re one of them, just take all of our advice and do the opposite.

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Hey everyone! Welcome back to my little space in OMG! Well, as of my deadline we are on week four of Ru Paul's Drag Race on Logo and I must say it its getting better! This last episode dealt with one of my favorite things about drag, illusions!!! There is something about a dude dressing up to look like one of my favorite celebrities that just makes me happy! Drag itself is an art form, but to change your appearance to look like someone else takes the art form to the next level. From Britney to Beyonce and Carol Channing, the divas really impressed me this week. The girl who did Britney had the look and the attitude down. She was a little over the top, but that is what drag is all about! Also the girl who did Pink's look was very convincing, and one of my faves, JuJube who did the Kamora Lee Simmons illusion, was just gorgeous! While we are on the topic of Ru Paul's Drag Race, Orlando's own Tyra Sanchez, who is currently on the show, has just won the Miss Dumarr Pageant. The contest was held at G Bar in Ybor on February 14th. The Dumarr system has been around for many years and has a rich history of title holders from all over the east

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coast. Tyra vied against six other entertainers including first runner-up Natasha Braxton from Atlanta and former Miss Black USofA Kennedy Davenport from Ft Lauderdale. Congrats to owner Jalese and company for an amazing event. I am a former Miss Dumarr Plus and have nothing but raves for this system! In other pageant news, the Miss Large & Lovely Pageant was held at Parlia-

ment House on February 15th. Nine contestants competed to be the third Miss Large & Lovely. Desiree Demornay from Tampa took the top spot with Orlando's Maya Andrews as her first runner-up and Ginger Ming also of Orlando, as her second runner-up. Photographer Loc Robertson and Rosanne DeShanaro ran a quick and professional contest that is on its way to becoming a national event. Desiree has a great history of building inter-

est in everything she touches, so with her behind the wheel, this pageant is destined for great things! In other drag news, Club Skyy in Ybor is starting their own gay night. Beginning in March, Monday Nights at Skyy will be for us homo's, featuring a show with some of Tampa's hottest divas. Desiree will be hosting the shows and the cast will be announced soon. They had a full audition process where the girls brought their best to grab a spot in the line up. Stay tuned for details! Well that about does it for this week! Next issue I will continue my review of Ru Paul's Drag Race and some other local events that are in the works! Remember if you have any entertainer or show that you would like to see discussed here, feel free to contact me at JocelynSummers11@ aol.com! I am always looking for new ideas! Much Love To All! -

Jocelyn


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his may hurt a little bit. This may hurt like a sting of insecurity from the needle of truth. This may even hurt more than that last metaphor, but bear with me. Before reading this passage, I ask all of you, are you happy? Really, are YOU happy? If the answer is no, then start reading; you might find some answers. If the answer is yes, then I have successfully tricked you into reading thus far, so you might as well keep on truckin’. There's a narcissistic wildfire spreading throughout the homosexual community. I have come to terms with the fact that our subculture not only values qualities such as beauty, wealth, and vanity more than others, but we do so at our own expense. Walking through the average club in our community elicits specific relationships with people around you. Constantly being judged on your wardrobe, your skin, and your attractiveness gets tiring and redundant. Gossiping about who/what you slept with the night before while downing shots like it’s a competition only strengthens the stampede of hate and individualistic importance. This “club” setting has tragically transformed into a place of self-worshipping ideologies that only stimulate self-hating emotion. It sets standards for what our youth learns and eventually immerses itself. Most importantly, it keeps us from feeling whole. I can’t remember the last time I have felt like a complete person. This incomplete feeling stems from years of shame piled onto an unattainable ideal. I personally felt inadequate when closeted for the obvious reasons: my lack of self, truth, and individuality were closeted along with my sexual desires. However, this feeling should have vanished as I became an out, open individual, right? Wrong! But why is this? Why does this feeling transcend cultures and follow us into our homosexual lives? Hopefully I can provide a justifiable answer that resonates with all my readers.

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As a community, we are responsible for subconsciously pressuring our youth into a world of stigmas and stereotypes. I know when coming out at the age of 17, I had to portray what was desired in order to “be cool”. Transitioning into my homosexual lifestyle (not a choice by the way) proved to be substantially more difficult than transitioning into, well, anything really. I had to change my hair, clothes, and work out before anyone even gave me a second look. My former self, my “real self”, was automatically shunned. I was forced to change before I could even be good at being what I was. I went from living a normal life, to living in a fantasy land that can only be described as “Mean Girl”-esque. My question is why. Why do we focus so much on the insignificant factors that determine what kind of person one is? Why don’t we swim away from the shallow waters that our community keeps drowning in every day? We are in charge of our own image. As a subculture, we have the capabilities to influence the country and even the world’s views of homosexuals. The judgment we so freely pass around is what keeps our community from uniting. The petty fights we facilitate, the snobbish attitude we emulate, are all part of our general image as a subculture. It baffles me how we can chant about our rights when we often show selfdiscrimination. The stigmas and stereotypes that we hate are often kept alive by our own shame. Essentially, we perpetuate our oppression. That doesn’t sound too good, now does it? The healing of our culture needs to start from the inside. We need to look at the problem from the bottom, build up strong on values and morals, and build as a community. The same community from which we are divided. Only then can we win the battle against homophobia and discrimination. Realizing that even though we are different in many ways, we share one common goal. That is the key to our universal success.


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ood for JENNIFER ANISTON. Even though the former Friends star seems to have trouble keeping her love life on track these days, she’s finally managed to give up smoking. Aniston, 41 put down her butts with the help of Hollywood hypnotist Dr. Kerry Gaynor – who’s also credited with helping Matt Damon, Charlize Theron and Anthony LaPaglia kick their bad habits. What Aniston MIGHT not know though, is that Dr. G was formerly a real life Ghostbuster. Yep, you heard it right. During the late 1970’s and early 80’s, Gaynor worked as a paranormal investigator at UCLA under famed parapsychologist, Dr. Thelma Moss, and he was also a technical advisor on the 1981 thriller The Entity, starring actress Barbara Hershey. The film, based on one of Gaynor’s real life investigations, was about a woman raped by an evil entity that occupied her California home. “Kerry used to go into people’s houses, determine if there were restless spirits around, then rid the home of its unwanted guests,” says a source. “But years ago he put aside his ghostly duties to help people lose weight, stop smoking and kick other bad habits.” So far the source says Jen’s done well in her effort to stop smoking, but if she ever finds herself face to face with any unwanted house guests of the paranormal kind in her new Malibu pad, at least she’ll know who to call.

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attooed Rocker TRAVIS BARKER donated $100,000 to build a music room at his kid’s private school in Culver City, California. The school, called Turning Point is also home to SEAL and HEIDI KLUM’S kiddies. And while Barker handed over the loot to build the room and buy instruments for the kids, he managed to recruit Seal to drop by and teach the children music appreciation whenever he’s in town. Nice job guys.

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ust call sexy, Up in the Air actress VERA FARMIGA Goat Girl. She won’t mind. The Oscar nominee and her hubby Renn live on a goat farm in upstate New York with their son Fynn, yep sort of like Heidi, and although the goats are all female, they scour the country a couple times a year looking for the highest quality goat sperm to help the girls procreate. The two also sell goat’s milk, organic goat cheese and goat’s milk fudge. Wanna bet their strange hobby makes them the ‘butt’ of a lot of jokes?

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he March 15, HGTV DREAM HOME giveaway could become a real nightmare for the lucky or unlucky person winning the $2 million property, because the home’s builder recently slapped a $300,000 lien on the place claiming he has yet to be paid in full. According to a source, Mark Roccaforte was paid $500,000 and still owed a whopping $310,000 on the 3,900 square foot home located in the New Mexico desert. And he’s filed a suit in Sandoval County NM, claiming he wants Campbell Corporation and Scripps Network to pay up. The show claims it will sort out the discrepancy in due time, but with the giveaway just two weeks away, they’d better get busy and start sortin’.

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WILIGHT hunk ROBERT PATTINSON was once a drag queen. Well, not by choice. The sexy actor who plays Edward Cullen in the Twilight series of films says his older sisters Lizzy and Victoria, used to dress him up in girls clothes when he was just a kid and make him answer to the name Claudia. Pattinson says it took him until the age of 12 to stand up to his sisters, and since that time he’s only worn guys' gear… or at least so he says.

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ATHERINE ZETA JONES is as good as gold to her longtime BFF and hairdresser, Lorenzo Martin of LA’s Jose Eber Salon. A few months ago she flew Lorrie first class to her beach house in Bermuda to have fun in the sun with her. Now she’s flying her old pal out to New York this week – First class all the way – to see her perform in the Broadway play A Little Night Music with Angelina Lansbury. Catherine says she’d rather hang with Lorenzo then any of her girlfriends because he always brings along all the latest Hollywood gossip! Maybe WE should give Lorrie a call!

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nd finally, I’m hearing that while gorgeous VANESSA HUDGENS is chomping at the bit for boyfriend ZAC -High School Musical - EFRON to give her a ring – and not on his cell phone – Zac is afraid to do away with his single status because he doesn’t want to lose his female fans. Efron told a friend recently that he feels he’s been temporarily pushed of his pedestal by the Twilight hunks, and he isn’t ready to give up his sex symbol status just yet. In fact, he wants to work on getting his sexy back… and he knows the way to do that is NOT to put a ring on his 21 year old girlfriend’s finger. And you know what, he’s probably right!

Maggie is a Hollywood journalist who has written for such publications as STAR, In Touch, Life and Style, National Enquirer and OK! Magazine. Now she’ll be keeping OMG! readers up to date on all the latest celebrity dish! We also hope you will e-mail Maggie, at maggie@omgmag.com, with any questions or comments you might have on Hollywood Hot Sheet. And let us know about local celeb sightings or news tips. We’d love to hear from you!

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GLBT SOUTH AFRICA

his summer, the world's eyes will be on South Africa, as the FIFA World Cup for soccer will play out in front of countless millions, perhaps even billions, of television viewers. The South African government worked hard to bring the sporting event to the country, and tried even harder to promote the nation as one that is safe for tourists of all backgrounds and tolerant of every sensibility. The country went as far as legalizing gay marriage in 2006, the only nation on the continent that recognizes samesex couples in such unions. But such overtures hide the nasty truth about South Africa's GLBT community; they live in fear, most especially lesbians, who have to remain ever vigilant in case of a sexual attack perpetrated by macho men. The attacks have occurred with such frequency that civil rights groups and the media have given it a name. They call it "corrective rape." Triangle, the most prominent GLBT rights organization in South Africa, polled its members and 86% of les-

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bians in the majority black population demographic feared they would be a victim of such an assault. The problem stems from a male-dominated society, in which women are treated as secondary citizens, and in many cases, merely sexual playthings. Couple that with ignorance and lack of education not only about homosexuality, but sexual practices in general, and it spells trouble for all women, with lesbians as a special target for control. In the rapists' minds, the sexual act with a lesbian will "make her a woman" again, therefore marginalizing the lesbian by force as punishment for living her life openly.

The "corrective rape" outbreak, which was so bad at one point that ten cases were being dealt with by Triangle each week, came to a nasty climax in April 2008 with the brutal gang-rape and murder of Eudy Simelane, an out lesbian and member of the high-profile South African women's soccer team. Two of the four people arrested in connection to her assault and murder received

hefty sentences (a life sentence for one); but South Africa's human rights commission said that wasn't enough. To deal with the problem efficiently, "corrective rape" must be added on specifically as an offense punishable by jail time. Hate crimes do not hold special sentences under the law and the public shame of a gang-rape causes many lesbians to not report such crimes; if they do, their results are only marginally better. Sometimes they get to see their rapists brought to justice, but far too rarely for lesbians across the country to feel safe. For South Africa to prove itself as a contender in world affairs, whether it be the best in sport or politics or, as the Apartheid struggle has taught us, just pure freedom...the country needs to rise up as one and prove that freedom is for all people. Even the lesbian who threatens the local gang's collective manhood. Freedom is non-negotiable.


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PARTNERS SPORTS BAR

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How Do You Balance Losing Fat and Gaining Muscle? It’s something I hear almost every day. I want to lose my fat but I want to gain muscle in the chest and arms. Can I do that? Well, the answer is yes … over a period of time. The truth is the body is inefficient at performing both activities at the same time. The only time when both happen at the same time is when you are a beginner and just starting out lifting weights, in which case, weight training is such a new stimulus to the body that muscle gain and fat loss happen extremely efficiently. From then on, it can be done, but in cycles. Lose the fat first

3000 calories a day doing this, your daily caloric intake should be 1000 to 1500 calories less so your body will burn off two to three pounds of fat per week. Continue this cycle until you reach the desired body fat percentage.

STORY

If you are a man with more than 10-12% body fat or a woman with more than 15-18% on you, I recommend that you concentrate on losing the fat first while either retaining or gaining a moderate amount of muscle tissue. This is done by reducing your daily caloric intake, especially carbs and fats, below your daily caloric usage. So, if you are working out three times a week for 30-45 minutes and doing a cardio exercise five to six times a week for 30-45 minutes and your body is burning around

Time to bulk up (with muscle) Now here’s the tricky part. Once you reach your desired body fat percentage, how many calories and how much exercise is needed to gain the muscle? At this point, you need to increase your daily caloric intake to equal what your body is burning and the increase needs to be in protein and complex carbs, not fats. The amount of cardio should be cut back to two to three times a week for 20-30 minutes and your weight training should be increased to four to five times a week for 45-60 minutes. Also, during this cycle of muscle gain, it’s important to periodize or change your workout routine. For instance, do two weeks of heavier weights and lower reps with higher rest in between sets. Then do two weeks with lighter weights, higher reps and little rest in between each set. This will avoid stagnation and will elicit the most response from the muscles. During this cycle, keep an eye on your percentage of body fat. It will increase because the body will naturally use some of the increased calories for fat. Once it goes above 10-12% for men and 15-18% for women, start the fat burning cycle again. Conclusion So, can you lose fat and gain muscle? Yes … by alternating between lower calorie and higher calorie periods along with properly periodized workout and cardio routines. Chris Alberts Independent ACSM Certified Personal Trainer (727) 542-9716 www.SoHoHealthandFitness.com Other locations: Powerhouse Gym, Channelside and Elite Training Center, St. Petersburg

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Dr. Dan, I’m a dancer at a club and recently injured my back while performing. I cannot get relief from meds the doctor prescribed, even narcotics. A friend recommended I have my back ‘adjusted’. Is this safe, and does it really work? I have heard that it’s all placebo. –Anonymous, Orlando First, let me strip away any rumors or misinformation you’ve heard about manual medicine, which includes massage, spinal manipulation, acupuncture and myofascial methods. I am happy to report that spinal manipulation is often very helpful for people with acute back injuries, and repeated treatments are very likely to speed your recovery. With any luck and a little dedication, your back will be in proper form and function soon. My guess is you’ll be doing a victory dance around that pesky stripper pole that defeated you in round one. There are many reasons for back pain. It’s important to determine the likely cause of your pain and understand patterns of injury and how you can get direct proper care and rehabilitation. Mechanical back pain is pain that generates from injury to muscles, tendons and ligaments in the back and spine. Mechanical back pain accounts for nearly six million emergency room visits each year in the U.S. and nearly 70% of adults over the age of 30 will experience mechanical back pain at some point in their lives. It’s also expensive – money spent diagnosing and treating back pain is third in line for cost, behind heart disease and cancer. The initial approach to treating your back pain should include evaluation by a healthcare provider – including a detailed history of your injury and a thorough physical exam, with attention to the musculoskeletal system – your muscles, joints and bones in the affected area. OMG 54

Back pain can be mechanical, as mentioned above, or related to pathology of the inter-spinal discs, nerve roots or degenerative processes such as cancer, kidney disease, abdominal aneurisms or arthritis – among others. If you suspect an injury with a reliable story, basic imaging can include plain film xrays. If your doctor suspects ligamentous damage, or injury to discs or nerve roots, you may need to have an MRI to confirm a diagnosis. Unless your doctor suspects specific disease process or organ damage and dysfunction, blood work is rarely beneficial. Assuming your back pain due to an acute injury, as seems to be your case, spinal manipulation can be very beneficial. I’m going to focus on osteopathic manipulative medicine, and chiropractic medicine as treating modalities.

ulation for the treatment of mechanical back pain. More often than not, manipulation with or without conservative treatment using anti-inflammatory medicines were superior to treating pain compared to medicines alone. All areas of the spine can be manipulated and there are clear indications and contraindications for treatment. These should be discussed in detail with your health care provider at the time of evaluation. Only osteopathic physicians (D.O.) and chiropractors are licensed to perform any kind of spinal manipulation. Unless specifically trained and certified, traditional medical doctors (M.D.) are not licensed to perform such maneuvers. For a list of osteopathic physicians in your area, visit www.osteopathic.org. Like their M.D. counterparts, osteopathic physicians practice all kinds of medical specialties, from internal medicine to cardiovascular surgery.

Osteopathic manipulation is an approach to manual therapy that uses physical contact to improve the impaired or altered function of the mus- The most important factor when decidculo-skeletal system and is a form of ing on a doctor is your level of trust in your provider as well as their concern modern medicine. for your well –being. My bet is that Similar to chiropractic care in its use, a well-planned rehabilitation schedule osteopathic medicine addresses the combined with your dedication and entire body in an effort to make joints, commitment to muscle stretching and muscles and tendons more functional strengthening will have you dancing and provide increased range of mo- circles in no time! tion, facilitating the body’s natural potential for self recovery and balance. Techniques include soft tissue massage and thrust maneuvers to restore proper joint alignment and movement. All techniques are directed to re-establish proper joint function, weight bearing and muscle tone to allow a normal return to function. All joints and muscles of the body can be manipulated directly or by indirect methods of therapy. Multiple studies authenticate the use and reveal the benefits of spinal manip-



guys from singing along about their dance floor partner-du-jour. Justin Timberlake is the golden boy of this decade, with every track he works on going through the roof. Amazing talent and quite possibly the "gloved one" of this generation.

Testosterone seems to be rampant in dance music these days. Competing with the female "Gospel bred" divas, the guys have always had to "bring it" to get noticed. DJ confession time:Â… Painful, off-key male wailing is the first thing to make me wanna "frisbee" a CD, but MyFlexRadio.com's discovered a nice collection of male crooners making good noise on the dance floors of late. So, let's spotlight the boys who are all over the charts, past and present. Back in the day we had a Renaissance of very successful artists like Erasure, Pet Shop Boys, Rick Astley, Bronski Beat, Daniel Bedingfield, Culture Club, George Michael, etc. Surprisingly enough, a great number of them sang falsetto, proving that their androgyny got them play. I guess they were just divas with different plumbing. There's a massive R&B crossover to the gay dance floor now with Ne-Yo, Akon, Usher, and the likes remixing every Top 40 track they release. "Sexy Bitch" by David Guetta feat. Akon is a recurrent dance floor monster with obvious hetero lyrics but that doesn't keep the circuit

Blake Lewis and Adam Lambert - We have Idol to thank for these gentlemen. Blake's quiet vocal range is reminiscent of the very best '80s synth pop. He's even covered the old Flock of Seagulls classic "I Ran" with Darude. "Sad Song" and the current smash "Heartbreak On Vinyl" drip with sweet melancholy sexiness that sounds fresh on the sound waves. Love him or hate him, Adam Lambert is an enigma. He may be frank and controversial but his album "For Your Entertainment" is pop genius. Club mixes of the title track are working the floors and the charts with "Whataya Want From Me" following with new mixes and a great video that went #1 on VH-1. He's a trailblazer for gay visibility in 2010 and the first openly gay mainstream pop artist to launch a career on a major label in America. Bravo for the runner-up boy! Sean Ensign - This former nurse and model has toured the circuit and scored top hits in the UK as well as winning fans in South Florida. Search out "Fly Away", "Everytime It Rains" and "Feel So Good" for a taste of Sean, and be on the lookout in June for his new release "Amazing". Mika - "Grace Kelly", "Relax", Grammy nominated "Love Today", and "We Are Golden" are tracks to seek out from this unique and flamboyant

artist who labels himself "bisexualÂ… and free to be as he wants". Robbie Williams - Britain's bad boy of pop and most successful male artist just scored big with "Bodies" on the Billboard Club Chart. Back catalog includes "Millennium" and "Angels". Colton Ford - OK, so he's HOT and that's saying a lot coming from me. This hunk can REALLY work a video. Not surprising, he has a history in the adult entertainment field in a past lifetime. He's put his cover twist on songs by Britney, REM, Mariah, and Alicia Keys on his recent album "Under The Covers", but be sure to listen to "The Way You Love Me", one of my guilty pleasures. We love the BOYS at MyFlexRadio. com. Listen to us while you work, work out, relax, drive or play. We'll bring a bunch of hot guys to serenade you privately via laptop, iPhone/iPod Touch, iTunes Radio or smart devices, 24-7.

DJ JOANIE



CHUCKY RUCKUS

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Understanding the Mind - Body Connection Although not definitive, there is promising evidence these days that the relationship between one’s state of mind and health go hand in hand. To maximize your body’s disease fighting powers and increase your odds of living a long life, now is the time to dedicate yourself to putting “mood-boosting” tactics on the top of your self improvement list. Medical academics concur that there is a new wave of scientific research out there confirming that one’s state of mind can powerfully affect one’s health. It’s no secret that negative moods, over the course of time, spell trouble for bodily well-being. Indeed, depression, chronic stress, and anxiety can wear down our reserves and potentially contribute to conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. A growing school of thought these days questions whether or not happiness can improve one’s health. The bigger picture reveals it’s not simply an absence of negative emotions but the presence of positive ones that will make a difference in our lives. Shifting one’s emotional balance from downbeat to upbeat is not as difficult as it sounds. Even if “cheerfulness” is not your strong suit, simply try these five surefire tips to shift the balance:

WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY Do something for someone else:

It has been said that it’s better to give than to receive, and research shows that nurturing others mitigates stress. Try volunteering, lending an ear to someone in need, or helping a neighbor. These things can make us feel needed and connected – this encourages a positive mindset.

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Meditate:

Mediation is a simple and effective way to boost one’s health and de-stress. Try something as simple as sitting or lying down for 10 minutes while focusing on your breathing. Feel the sensation as you inhale and exhale, taking note of your abdomen rising and falling. When you realize that your attention has drifted, bring it back to the breathing, without any judgment. No many how many times your attention wanders away, bring it back into the meditative moment patiently. This helps to settle you down inside.

Get friendly:

Spending quality time with others can boost positive emotions by letting us express feelings, share burdens, and feel connected and appreciated. Try a friends' brunch, a date night, a club or a cause. Activate your life.

Move more:

Studies indicate that working out can benefit your mood. You don’t have to be a marathon runner; even mild exercise releases “feel-good” hormones called endorphins. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-paced walking three times a week. What do you have to lose?

Change your way of thinking:

Sometimes we need some outside support to help shift our mood. Behaviors and moods oftentimes arise from the principle that how one thinks affects how one feels. It may help to work with a therapist that can teach you how to interrupt negative thought patterns and replace them with constructive thoughts instead. Changing your way of thinking can open you to a whole new world of HAPPINESS.

Another way to connect your mind and body is through massage therapy! Give yourself the gift of happiness today with a massage at TampaProMassage. There are a lot of massage therapists out there; give yourself the massage you pay for. At TampaProMassage, I offer quality affordable massage on your terms. For more information or to schedule your appointment today, call (813) 368-0532 or check out my website at www.tampapromassage.com.

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Happy March, yawl! Congratulations to OMG! Magazine and the Parliament House Resort for recently throwing a KICK ASS party, the OMG! Magazine RED BALL! If you were one of the few folks who didn’t attend, this event was f**cking awesome, packed with loads of electrifying entertainment. Dressed in ecliptic red were the party’s 10 outrageous hosts: Miz Kori, Replacunt, Selena, Tasha Lee, Diamond Flowers, Miss Saigon, Kiana Thomas, Kitana Infinity, Crystal Adams, and Aysia Black. Big kudos go to the girls for wildly greeting patrons and staying slightly sober (NOT!). Two thumbs up to Diana Ross of Sanford; the OMG! Red Ball red carpet photographer, for graciously snapping over 200 smiling guest pictures upon their arrivals. Should you wish to check out the OMG! Red Ball arrival photos, log onto Facebook.com (OMG! or Parliament House). The evening’s featured entertainment was provided by South Florida’s Wildchild and T.P. Lords. Both entertainers presented high-energy performances which captivated and energized the audience; you had to be present to see these two stunning performance artist at work...just stunning! With the entire P-House entertainment complex decked out in red, two kick ass performances by the award-winning Footlight Players, DJ Brianna spinning the best damn music in O-Town, drinks

flowing, T-shirts throwing, and beautiful people everywhere, the OMG! Red Ball was a tremendous party and the place to be and be seen! Huge thanks goes to James and the entire staff of OMG! Magazine for choosing the Parliament House Resort for their first promotional party in Orlando. “Let's do it again soon guy; love yah!” Okay, yawl, don’t make a big old fat black bitch beg...I need $1.00! Why? Sassy, Armani, V and I are trying to raise $5000.00 for the Orlando AIDS Walk coming up very soon on April 24. In return, you'll receive a one-ofa-kind limited edition keepsake Real Housewives of Orange County, Orlando, FL post card and for God's sake, we'll even autograph it. If we don’t reach our goal, we’ll work the Trail, I-4 Rest Stop, and Wal-Mart (don’t ask)! One way or another, we will reach our $5000.00 goal and I pray it's the first way and not the other (lol). Don’t make the four Divas holler; give a bitch a dollar! Miss Parliament House Pageant is around the corner; Monday, March 22, at 9 p.m. in the beautiful Footlight Theatre. You don’t want to miss this exciting event; it’s sure to be, in the words of the first Miss Parliament House, Lori DelMar, “a blood bath of competition.” To purchase your ticket/ seat, simply log onto WANZIE.com and click the BOX OFFICE icon; from there you may purchase and choose your theatre seating. Other

pageants around the corner: the Miss Glamorous Pageant at Pulse Nightclub on March 29; Miss Metropolitan Continental/Mr. Metropolitan Continental 2010 on April 26 at Parliament House; and Miss International Plus and Classic National Pageant from August 1719 at the Parliament House Resort. For information on any pageant in Orlando, please hit me up on facebook.com (Darcel Stevens). Congratulations to Kennedy Davenport who recently won the Miss Revolutions Pageant and to Danielle Hunter for coordinating six wonderful contestants and running a swift, professional contest. First runner-up went to Josephine Andrews (Miss Gay Orlando) and second runner-up went to Shantel Rashae. Well done, girls! People to watch in Orlando: Tyra Sanchez, Michael Wanzie, Armani, Kennedy Davenport, Alisha Markstone, Thomas (Gucci), Maggie King, Michael Slaymaker, Diamond Flowers, Nichole Ames, Miss Vicki, Tiffany McCray, and Kitana Infinity! Finally, heading to the movies to see Disney’s new release, The Mad Hatter. I’ll give you my no-nonsense review next week. Until next time,

Ms. Darcel Stevens


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ositive impact can come through good works, or acts of kindness, or simple sincerity. There are many people in Florida's GLBT community who impact our lives for the better every day. Perhaps you may know it, and perhaps you may not. You may not even know the people who are indirectly making a difference in your life, but it doesn't make their work any less great or momentous. OMG! spotlights ten lesbians in central and south Florida who, through their life paths, are helping shape our future.

Rosie Stallman

Rosie Stallman works as a sport management adjunct professor at Barry University and once served as the NCAA Director of Education Outreach. This year she was named the executive director of the Tampa International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. In this capacity, she plans to blend community and festival traditions with some new ideas she has up her sleeve. Her ingenuity and creativity will be sure to make a difference in Tampa.

Adriane Reesey

Reesey has been involved with law enforcement for over 30 years, working with the City of Fort Lauderdale and the Broward County Crime Commission. She also works with the GLBT community, having been named the first female chair of the Human Rights Board of Broward County. A believer in voting rights and the democratic process, Reesey also worked as a poll worker in Broward County and was a candidate in the Democratic primary for Broward County's Supervisor of Elections position. Reesey uses her civic duties to help others.

Jane Castor

Castor has served her community for over 25 years as a member of the Tampa Police Department. In October 2009, she made history when she was sworn in not only as the first woman police chief in city history, but also the first lesbian police chief in the state of Florida. She vowed to improve the city's dropping crime rate even further; her predecessor was credited with a halving of the crime rate over his six years as chief. Castor is working her hardest to make sure Tampanians are safe.


Nadine Smith

Nadine Smith has been the executive director of the GLBT advocacy group Equality Florida since its beginnings in 1997. A native of Panama City, Smith has tirelessly campaigned for GLBT rights in Florida, first working as a journalist and lobbyist in Tampa before co-founding Equality Florida, therefore putting her talents to use to help people across the state. Her accomplishments have also helped her serve as a role model for African-American GLBT youth. She speaks up when others cannot.

Denise Hudson

Her work helps keep Key West a tolerant place not only for travelers but for the town's denizens as well. Hudson is the president of the PFLAG chapter in Monroe County and also runs the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Key West. In a town that is heavily diverse and prides itself on the number of GLBT residents, Hudson's work speaks for itself and places her a step above the rest.

Cathy James

As the head of Tampa Bay Family Pride, a GLBT parents' advocacy group, Cathy James has put herself in the forefront of the gay adoption debate. With the work she has done and continues to do, she hopes to turn the tide in favor of GLBT people who wish to adopt children and raise them together without the stigma of being devalued and derided as "less than a 'regular' family." James is helping us in our battle to have the right to a family of our own.

ans Gabrielle Shulruff Phyllis Hunt

At 21 years of age, she is the youngest woman on our list. Heavily involved in the GLBT organization at the University of Central Florida and a director at the Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Community Center of Central Florida, Gabrielle Shulruff is proof positive that today's youth are socially responsible and active, and her activism gives us hope that today's youth will be a force nobody can stop if the best and brightest in the bunch are half as gifted as she is.

The pastor of Tampa's Metropolitan Community Church, she functions as a beacon of care and hope to GLBT citizens who may be beset with worries and need guidance from the Lord. Her sincere motivation to make Tampa a better place for all, especially the GLBT community, positively impacts everyone she meets. Her good works earn her spot on this list.

Shelly Allen and Jackie Branca

This publishing duo from Fort Lauderdale has run girL magazine, the largest-circulation periodical for Florida lesbians, for the past five years. They bring a uniquely womanly perspective to each news event they cover, whether it's a story of local importance or whether it may impact our quest to equality. Well-regarded in the community, these two are and will continue to be people you should know in the community.



CLUB OZ

Designed by OMG! Magazine


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he 34th annual South Florida Pridefest will be held on March 13 and 14 at Jaco Pastorius Park in Oakland Park. This is the first year for Pridefest at this venue, something which the board of directors are promoting heavily. “We are excited about our move to this more intimate location, and partnership with Oakland Park Main Street,� said Jacqui Charvet, chair of South Florida Pride, the organization which coordinates the event. Pridefest has a very storied history in south Florida, one that stretches all the way back to the infamous days when Anita Bryant fought the gays and won, and orange juice was verboten as a result. After the repeal of

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Dade County’s gay rights ordinance in 1977, gay rights activists marched through Coconut Grove holding signs and shouting slogans, ending in a lively block party. This would be the first in a long line of official gay pride celebrations in south Florida. As interest in the gay pride celebrations grew, so did its scope. The South Florida Gay & Lesbian Pride Committee was created to be inclusive to the communities in both Dade and Broward Counties, and in 1982 the committee organized its first indoor festival in Hollywood. However, this came at the expense of abandoning the street parade in Miami, which understandably angered many local residents. The parade returned in 1984, and in 1985 the festival was moved

to Coconut Grove in Miami near the parade route. In 1991, in an attempt to be more inclusive to all in the GLBT spectrum, the Gay & Lesbian Pride Committee changed its name to Pride South Florida. That same year, the indoor festival was held in Miami while the street parade occurred in Fort Lauderdale for the first time. In 1992, both events were held in Fort Lauderdale and have been a Broward County staple ever since. Due to weather concerns, the festival was moved to winter from the steamy month of June in 1998, with the parade following in 2000. The more agreeable weather has allowed the event to grow into what the event organizers call the largest GLBT pride festival in the state of Florida.


Pridefest organizers this year are drumming up interest in the event by empathizing with the people in south Florida’s GLBT community concerning the economy. They have offered a “stimulus package” for attendees; this year’s event will cost $10, $5 for parking and $5 to enter the festival area. In an attempt to be environmentally conscious, Pride South Florida is also introducing their very first “green” Pridefest. Unlike in past years, the Pride guides and information on advertising will no longer be made available to interested parties via hard copy. All materials that would have been mailed in previous years are now available on their website, www. pridesouthflorida.org. As of press time, information is un-

known as to which vendors will be a part of the festival. However, Pride South Florida’s website has released their weekend calendar, highlighting the talent invited to perform on their main stage. Headlining performers include CeCe Peniston, who is best known for her Top 5 pop hit and dance club anthem of 1991, “Finally”; Lori Michaels, who has become nationally known for her dance single “Wild Ride” and will be performing with Me & The Girls; and Pepper Mashay, whose hits include the popular “Lost Your Mind.” Event MCs include Craig Stevens, anchor of the 5, 6 and 10 p.m. newscasts on WSVN-TV; Denise Warner and Donna Woessner, who host the podcast “Lesbian Lounge” on mylesbianradio.com; and Miami radio staple Marky G.

Official Pridefest events include an appearance by singer Debby Holiday at the Friday night event True Colors (March 12), hosted by The Manor at 2345 Wilton Drive in Wilton Manors. DJ Daisy will be providing the music for the event, with no cover charge to get in the door. There will also be a Pride Finale dance (March 14) at the Sea Monster Bar, located at 2 South New River Drive West in Fort Lauderdale. Doors open at 4 p.m. and DJ Bill Hallquist will be putting on the dance club hits from yesterday and today.


Good day, readers! This article is going to be a little different from the others you have read. I thought I'd share two poems with you, hoping this will help the love birds freely express their thoughts out loud. The title of this poem is called “What If.” I never thought words from my mouth can move your body like that, What if I gently touch your skin holding you with care Kissing you as if it was my last time I would ever see you. What if tonight or in the morning I whisper those sweet words that my heart is leaping to say? If I explain there’s no other girl in my brain, It’s always your face and name I can’t let go. What if I could grab every star for you, Just so you can shine? Putting every consideration in my head Just to make it into a sonnet for you love, Every so often I have my tongue all tied up Because you got me constantly stuttering Like a 5-year-old hooked on phonics. What if, out of this world, The only one I’m in love with is you. If you’re wondering if I wrote this to someone, yes, I did! But...also, I wanted this to open your eyes to the ones you love and care for. Leaving those little notes on mirrors using make-up, or taking a bunch of sticky notes and posting them in certain places around the house. The little things people do mean a lot to others. I’m one of those people who make the littlest things important to me because it’s the thought and courtesy that matters. Occasionally, ladies (and men) have hard times explaining how they feel. Let’s not get confusing with the mind games that others love to play just so they can sleep with whoever. It’s not a game of "who I can catch with my Romeo vocabulary?" These are true feelings I’m trying to express. I hope you will enjoy reading my next poem; this one is called “Fast.”

My soul and heart drop with one touch from thy hand. Lost my breath, lost of thought, words so fast I whispered “I love you!” I never can say I regret the meaningful words Fulfilling your craving heart, pleading to hear more, But daring and begging to touch my skin with yours. Did we go fast? No. I kissed you deeply, leaving our hearts barely breathing. Again, my lips kissed yours, Placing your hand on my chest to feel this is real. I’m falling for you fast, forgetting the past, Making life a new beginning with just You & Me. Being with you, life moves fast when you’re happy And forgetting all those worries. You question me day after day, "Are we moving too fast?" Time is nothing to me, As long as it doesn’t go by fast when I’m holding you. The littlest words can mean everything in the world to the person you love. Write what you love; love it when you express it.



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1929 North Federal Hwy. (561) 347-8044 WILTON MANORS ATOMIC/BOOM NIGHTCLUB 2232 Wilton Dr. 1 (954) 630-3556 BILL’S FILLING STATION 2 2209 Wilton Dr. (954) 567-5978 3 EDEN 2387 N Dixie Hwy. (954) 630-3556 4 GEORGIE’S ALIBI 2266 Wilton Dr. (954) 565-2526 THE MANOR 2345 Wilton Dr. (954) 626-0082 MATTY’S ON THE DRIVE 2426 Wilton Dr. (954) 564-1799

NEW MOON BAR 2440 Wilton Dr. (954) 563-7660 RAMROD 1508 NE 4th Ave. (954) 763-8219 ROSIE’S BAR & GRILLE 5 2449 Wilton Dr. (954) 567-1320 SCANDALS SALOON 6 3073 NE 6th Ave. (954) 565-3084 SIDELINES SPORTS BAR 7 2031 Wilton Dr. (954) 563-8001 BUSINESSES BALL 2252 Wilton Dr. (954) 537-4120 BOTTOMS & TOPS

2258 Wilton Dr. (954) 562-6670 CHIC OPTIQUE 2228 Wilton Dr. (954) 567-3937 DENNIS DEAN GALLERIES 2440 B. Wilton Dr. (954) 530-2789 GAYMART 2228 Wilton Dr. (954) 630-0360 ROCK HARD ADULT STORE 2301 Wilton Dr. (954) 318-7625 RUFF RIDERS 2043 Wilton Dr. (954) 318-7625 TINY TREASURE PUPPIES 2205A Wilton Dr. (954) 630-1751


GIGI & GAVIN’S GOURMET CHOCOLATES & COFFEES 954.626.0629 2041 WILTON DR. TO THE MOON 2205 Wilton Dr. (954) 564-2987 VERTIGO SALON 2420 Wilton Dr. (954) 530-0946 RESTAURANTS COURTYARD CAFE 2211 Wilton Dr. (954) 563-2499 GALANGA THAI KITCHEN & SUSHI BAR 2389 Wilton Dr. (954) 202-0000 HUMPY’S PIZZA 2244 Wilton Dr. (954) 566-2722 ISLAND CITY BISTRO 2037 Wilton Dr. (954) 563-2266

JAVA BOYS 2230 Wilton Dr. (954) 564-8828 JUICEBLENDZ 2248 Wilton Dr. (954) 358-0772 LIPS RESTAURANT 1421 E. Oakland Park Blvd TROPICS 2004 Wilton Dr. (954) 463-4269

SEA MONSTER 12 2 S New River Dr. West (954) 767-6200 13 TORPEDO BAR 2829 West Broward Blvd. (954) 587-2500 VOODOO LOUNGE 14 111 SW 2nd Ave. (954) 522-0733

FT. LAUDERDALE BARS

CLUB FT. LAUDERDALE 110 NW 5th Ave. (954) 525-3344 LEATHERWORKS 501 NE 13th Street (954) 761-1236 PRIDE FACTORY 850 NE 13th Street (954) 463-6600 TROPIXX VIDEO 1514 NE 4th Ave. (954) 522-4749 GLCC SOUTH FLORIDA 1717 N. Andrews Ave. (954) 463-9005

8 BOARDWALK 1721 N. Andrews Ave. (954) 463-6969 9 THE DEPOT 1243 N.E. 11th Ave. (954) 568-7777 JOHNNY’S BAR/ 10 11 NIGHT CLUB 1116 West Broward Blvd (954) 522-5931 11 LIVING ROOM 300 SW 1st Ave. (888) 992-7555

BUSINESSES

MIAMI AZUCAR Too! (new location) 427 Jefferson Ave. (305) 502-2096 CLUB AQUA 2991 Coral Way (305) 448-2214 CLUB SUGAR (formerly Azucar) 2301 SW 32nd Ave. (305) 443-7657 DISCOTEKKA 950 NE 2nd Ave. (305) 371-3773 HALO LOUNGE 1625 Michigan Ave. (305) 534-8181 PALACE BAR & GRILL 1200 Ocean Drive (305) 531-7234 SCORE BAR 727 Lincoln Road (305) 525-1111 TWIST 1057 Washington Ave. (305) 538-9478

D>R P>LM CLUBS/BARS

INNS/GUESTHOUSES

ASSOCIATIONS


It's the middle of the night and you're fast asleep when your cell phone rings. Uh-oh. Your screen says "Caller ID Blocked"m so you say "Hello. Who is this?" Soon you find out why the caller ID is blocked when the anonymous voice starts saying some really nasty things about you. This isn't a random prank call -- the caller knows a great deal about you while you have only a good guess, at best, as to who they are. You hang up and then call your phone company and the police. That gets you nowhere. The phone company tells you that company policy prohibits them from identifying the caller and the police tell you they won't investigate harassing phone calls until you've received at least three such calls. What else can you do? Well, if it's important enough to you, there is a legal process by which you can identify the person or persons who place even one harassing (and blocked) telephone call. With the help of an attorney, a complaint called a pure bill of discovery can be filed in circuit court to authorize a subpoena directed to your phone company to provide you with the telephone number that originally appeared as the blocked caller ID or private number on your phone. The phone companies call these "switch records" and their

switching centers will possess the numerical digits dialed to block the call, along with the numerical digits dialed to place the call, and with that information the identity of the blocked caller can be learned. Now that you've got the telephone caller's number via subpoena, what's next? Well, you can go back to the police and tell them that you found out who's harassing you and no matter what their "three harassing call" policy for investigation purposes may be, Florida law under F.S. 365.16 (a) provides that whoever makes a single telephone call to a location at which the person receiving the call has a reasonable expectation of privacy and during which makes any comment which is obscene, lewd, vulgar or indecent and by which such call or language intends to offend, annoy, abuse, threaten or harass any person at the called number commits a second


degree misdemeanor. F.S. 365.16 (b) provides that any person who makes a telephone call, whether or not conversation ensues, without disclosing his or her identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person at the called number commits a second degree misdemeanor. In addition to the person(s) who actually placed the call, F.S. 365.16 (2) provides that whoever knowingly permits any telephone under his or her control to be used for any purpose prohibited by this section is guilty of a second degree misdemeanor.

A pattern of such calls under F.S. 784.048 (3) constitutes stalking and anyone who stalks another commits a misdemeanor in the first degree. F.S. 748.048 (3) prohibits aggravated stalking as a third degree felony which is committed by a person who willfully, maliciously and repeatedly harasses another person by engaging in a course of conduct that causes substantial emotional distress and makes a credible threat with the intent to place that person in reasonable fear of death or bodily injury and which serve no legitimate purpose.

Finally, both Florida law and federal law provide causes of civil action for the intentional conduct of the unknown caller or callers, and intentional torts arising from this conduct include the intentional infliction of emotional distress, defamation and invasion of privacy. So go ahead, answer that call in the middle of night. With a little bit of technical and legal savvy, no one except Superman and Clark Kent have a truly secret identity anymore.




Eve Plumb Still Not Over That "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" Thing Oh, Jan. It's been over 35 years and you still can't get over Marcia getting more attention than you.

WRITTEN BY MIKE HALTERMAN

Desperate Housewives Desperate for a Ratings Boost! They'll do anything on Wisteria Lane these days. Desperate Housewives, which ends its sixth season in May, went through a resurgence a couple of years ago but as most long-running shows do, it's run out of steam. So how are they getting the steam back? By using "lesbianism" as a cheap plot device meant to bring in male viewers looking for some T&A! Julie Benz comes in and seduces Dana Delany's character, Katherine Mayfair. Now I'm all for GLBT pairings on television, but don't insult the viewers. Give us some good backstory. Have a relationship progress. Hell, make sure the two actresses have CHEMISTRY. Desperate Housewives did none of those things. It comes off as a Spice Channel-esque way to bring viewers back to a show that has had much better days. It kind of makes me regret that I didn't pick this show for our Fall '09 "on the outs" list...this show deserves to go more than Ugly Betty. R.I.P., Ms. Suarez.

In 2007, Maureen McCormick, who played resident popularity princess Marcia on the '70s sitcom The Brady Bunch, published an autobiography, claiming that she had experimented in lesbian sex with costar Eve Plumb (Jan). Well, clearly these allegations brought up one of two thoughts in Ms. Plumb's mind: 1) it's true, so DENY DENY DENY! or 2) it never happened; that bitch is a liar! Either way, the onceclose actresses no longer speak to one another. This past week, all the surviving members of the Brady TV family were scheduled to appear on an unspecified morning show to talk about their years on the show. However, upon Plumb learning of McCormick's decision to attend the retrospective, she backed out. What, did she think it was going to be "The Brady Bunch Except Marcia"? What moron would think she wouldn't be there? Memo to Eve Plumb: You've been a trivia question ever since 1974. Get over it. Or as Marcia would say, "You're just jealous, Jan."

Macho Wrestler Stands Up for GLBT Rights University of Maryland wrestler Hudson Taylor is ranked #3 in the country in his NCAA weight class. He's a good student with a winning personality, cute face, and thighs that could choke a bear. I guess I should stop the lusting right now...he's straight and engaged to the love of his life. So what's atypical of the new king of macho collegiate wrestling? He's an activist for the GLBT cause. "We're both very progressive and very outspoken in [GLBT] and feminist issues," said Taylor of he and his fiancĂŠe. "I believe that whatever history I'm a part of, I'm responsible for. If I feel something is unjust or unequal, I feel a responsibility to do something about it." Taylor and his fiancĂŠe donate and volunteer with the Human Rights Campaign, which is very commendable. Sadly, his teammates and wrestling fans have labeled him gay because he makes his voice heard. I say to hell with the haters. Keep on fighting the good fight!

GOSSIP





M

exico is one of the most popular destinations for gay travelers. Even though Mexico is a deeply conservative country, it leaves lots of open room for sexual acceptance. Gay life thrives in major urban centers like Cancun, Guadalajara and Mexico City. Let me show you what gay Mexico has to offer. Mexico City diverges from the predominant nationwide stance on homosexuality. The city assembly passed an initiative sanctioning same-sex partnerships, giving couples the same legal benefits as traditional marriages, and anti-discrimination laws are enforced throughout the capital. The “Zona Rosa” (Pink Zone), named after its pink-colored cobblestones, is the epicenter of the city’s gay and lesbian scene, filled with boutique hotels, fine dining and, of course, the capital’s most vibrant and decadent nightlife. The city’s gay life revolves around Amberes Street, where foreigners can usually walk around and get a few friendly twentysomething locals willing to dish on all the hidden secrets of the Zone: cabaret shows, backrooms and the best tacos in the city, just to mention a few. A translator isn’t really necessary, as the young guys have not only adopted the language but parts of the American culture in general. With all of the nightspot options available, it’s quite hard to pick where to go, or what to do. There are many varieties of nightclubs you can visit, depending on your taste. It could be a cabaret-like club with live shows

and Spanish pop music, to the most upscale electronic dance clubs built to emulate Berlin, Madrid and New York’s nightlife temples. One of the most visited places is “Cabare-tito” where live performances are part of the day and night. Also there are other types of clubs to visit, the most outstanding being Eve Nightclub, Velvet, Bleu Club, Aruba Lounge Club, Roma Night Hall, Glam Condense, Dubai, Taj Latin Club, Dine and Naboo Masaryk. Before or after party time, there are a few high top restaurants you should visit, depending on your taste and desired type of cuisine. There is Santino, a nice beautiful restaurant which serves Italian cuisine. Mandarin House is available for Chinese on a budget; Barrio de Noche for seafood delights; Charro, as you guessed, for Mexican cuisine; and Zhen Shanghai, located inside the Intercontinental Hotel, which is the only five-star Chinese restaurant in Mexico City. Speaking of which, Mexico City has one of the biggest options if you are looking for a place to stay, having over more than 50 of the most important hotel chains like Four Seasons, Hilton, Holiday Inn, Hyatt Regency, Iberostar, Marriot, Radisson, Sheraton, Best Western, Fiesta Inn, Mayan Resorts and many more. If you want a more personal stay, try El Patio 77 in Colonia San Rafael or Hotel del Principado in the Zona Rosa. Cancun is the ultimate tourist destination in Mexico. It has a very tourist friendly, gay friendly atmosphere,


with friendly people and luxurious allinclusive resorts. Unlike other cities, Cancun has a modern water purification system, meaning you don’t have to worry about Montezuma’s revenge. Tap water is safe to drink, so don’t even think about it.

think about when they picture Cancun. But not only that, there are some other places of interest you should not miss, like the Mayan ruins at Las ruinas del rey. Whatever you do while in Cancun, you are sure to have an amazing tropical vacation.

In Cancun’s resorts, you will be able to find American chain restaurants, shops, and amazing beaches. El Centro, the city’s downtown, is an area geared more toward the locals than for tourists, although you will find a variety of gay and straight clubs here.

Then there’s Guadalajara, the country’s second-largest city, in the state of Jalisco. Guadalajara is a city mixed with colonial and industrial influences, and is one of the most gay-friendly places in Mexico.

Clubs come and go quickly in Cancun, but there are a couple long-lasting gay clubs, and many of the straight clubs are gay-friendly. Nightlife in Cancun doesn’t really get started until 11 p.m. or later, and lasts until 5 a.m. Looking for a specific address in Cancun can be a tricky task, although most of the cab drivers are in the know and can easily locate a specific club by name; after all, that’s their job, right? If you need options of which gay clubs to visit, pay attention: the mainstays of gay nightlife in Cancun are Karmaba Bar, Risky Time, Once Once (11:11) and PicanteBar. Cancun has many hotels where you can stay, whether you decide to stay there or on the Mayan Riviera. In Cancun there’s the Holiday Inn Arenas, Cancun Palace, Crown Paradise, Sun Palace and many others. For the Mayan Riviera, there’s Gran Melia Cancun, Grand Oasis, Omni Cancun Hotel, Avalon Baccara, The Royal, Moon Palace and Sun Palace, and prices go from $150 to $300 per person/per night with taxes included. The city of Cancun offers one of the most beautiful white sandy beaches in the world, which is what people often

Guadalajara is filled with places to visit on vacation, like the historic center, which is the oldest section of the city, centered from Paseo Morelos and Paseo Hospicio to the Plaza de Armas, where the ecclesiastical and secular power seats are located. The Plaza de Armas is a rectangular plaza with gardens, iron benches and an ironwork kiosk made in Paris in the 19th century. Around that area, there are some monuments and buildings to visit, like the Metropolitan Cathedral (considered the city’s symbol) with an architecture comprising of Gothic, Baroque, Moorish and neoclassical features. The Rotonda de los Hombres Ilustres, in the Panteón de Dolores, is a circular monument made of quarried stone built in memory of the past prestigious people of Jalisco. The Teatro Degollado is another building to consider, made with a neoclassical design; one can catch a modern symphony or a classical opera. Near there is Plaza de los Mariachis, faced with a number of restaurants in which one can hear live mariachis play, especially at nighttime. This month Guadalajara hosts their annual film festival, which is the most prestigious in Latin America. But if you are looking for something more fun to do involving tequila, in

the historic center there are a number of bars and clubs that are either gayfriendly or mainly for gay people. The hottest places to go in Guadalajara are Circus Club, La Tarara, Opio Club or Azul Disco Bar just to mention a few. Away from the center, Angels Club and BlackCherry Club have become very popular with the younger crowd. The latter, even though the club is new, is one of the main places to go these days for the excellent music and environment, not to mention it has the most dance floor space in town. Local, national and international DJs fill the night with music at BlackCherry, creating a very unique experience, only compared to the most important clubs around the world. Guadalajara also has great gay-friendly hotels to stay at, nearly all of which are international chains. Holiday Inn, Best Western, Fiesta Americana, Crown Plaza, Mission Carlton and Fiesta Inn are represented near the historic center. Hopefully you’ll visit Mexico sometime soon, armed with the information you now have about the best places to stay and see, not only in the tourist centers, but in the heart of gay Mexico, the places off the beaten path.






Mar 20 - Apr 19 You say far too much and do whatever the heck you want...which means no one likes you besides drag queens, circuit queens, and girls of ethnicity. Who needs the general public anyway? Apr 20 - May 19 You’re a big heap of mixed emotions. One minute you're up, the next you've shot your favorite newscaster in the kneecaps, "just 'cuz." You're very earthy, which may mean that you don't shower as often as most people. There's support groups for people like you. May 20 - Jun 20 Everyone loves a Gemini because everyone loves a schizophrenic. In fact, I know you start animated arguments with yourself in the bathtub. Just because you’re ambidextrous does not mean you can pick both sides of your nose at the same time. Jun 21 - Jul 21 You like to know what's going on in the lives of everyone in the galaxy. However, you tend not to know what's going on in your own. If you are lucky, your friends will tell you. Jul 22 - Aug 22 You will grab attention in any way you possibly can. Self-immolation is not out of the question. You like to kiss mirrors a lot. Genghis Khan was a Leo, and so is Barney the Dinosaur. Just letting you know where you stand in life. Aug 23 - Sept 21 A Virgo is always a better Madonna than Madonna herself. Men can pull off sequins, and women can pull off construction helmets. You're very incapable of being unhip. NOT.

Sept 22 - Oct 22 Libras are always on the cutting edge of what the rest of us think is absolute pretentious bulls**t. Ask them the why about anything or any question, and they will claim something unintelligible about solidarity. How many people have told you to shut up in the last 48 hours? Oct 23 - Nov 21 Your number-one grudge is about never having been abducted by aliens, or being the victim of a government conspiracy. It's something you’ve known for a long time now...you’re just not that important. Nov 22 - Dec 21 You love to entertain your friends, family, and total strangers. This often includes transvesticism. Nearly every Sagittarian was born into the wrong gender. No, that doesn’t mean I’m a Sag. Just means I know 'em when I see 'em. Work them pumps, honey! Dec 22 - Jan 19 Capricorns are hardworking, reliable, and dull as hell. In the event of nuclear war, only cockroaches and Capricorns would find a way to survive. Other survivors would surely off themselves. Who wants to live in a world of only cockroaches and Capricorns...eeew! Jan 20 - Feb 17 Girl, you love to party. Anytime, anywhere is Miss Aqua's motto. It is not unlikely that an Aquarius will consider a wake a good place to meet dudes. Party hard, live harder, and please pass him the Kleenex. Feb 18 - Mar 19 Everywhere you go, laughter and comedy ensue. This would be great if you were trying to be funny. You are deeply confused by the idea of sex. As far as you are concerned, if it doesn’t happen in "Channel 8 News", it doesn't exist.

Note: precise dates vary slightly from year to year, and from source to source. These are not meant to be definitive.




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