Maia Toll

BY OMTIMES TEAM

MaiaToll is the award-winning author of Letting Magic In, The Night School, and the Wild Wisdom Series (including The Illustrated Herbiary). After pursuing an undergraduate degree at the University of Michigan and a master’s at New York University, Maia apprenticed with a traditional healer in Ireland. She spent extensive time studying the growing cycles of plants, the alchemy of medicine making, and the psycho-spiritual aspects of healing. Maia maps new pathways for seeing our lives, inspiring those who encounter her work to live with more purpose, intention, meaning, and, maybe, even more magic. She is the coowner of the retail store Herbiary, with locations in Philadelphia, PA, and Asheville, NC, where she lives with her partner and three ridiculously spoiled dogs. Keep up with Maia’s writing on her Substack, Unkempt, and find her online at maiatoll.com

OMTIMES:Whatinspiredyoutowritethismemoir?

MaiaToll:When I was thirty-three, I sold my house, quit my teaching job, and traipsed off to Ireland to study with an herbalist.

That rather impetuous series of decisions became the generative experience that informed everything after opening an herb shop (then a second and a third!), teaching university-level classes in botanical medicine, getting my first book deal, and even meeting mypartner.

Theideathatwecanchangeourselves–shed our skins and become someone new–has alwaysfascinatedme.SoIwroteLettingMagic IntosharewhatI'velearned.Iwantedtoleavea breadcrumbtrailforotherswhofeeldissatisfied or out of step with themselves or the culture that surrounds them. While the journey looks different for each of us, there are common markersthatcanguideallofus.

Ioriginallythoughtthebookwouldfocusonmy time in Ireland. But when I sat down to write aboutthatverymagicalyear,Ifoundthatnone of it made sense–that I, as the protagonist, didn'tmakesense–withoutgivingthereaderan understandingoftheyearsthatcamebefore. Ireland, it turns out, was the finale, not the startingpoint.Therealstorywastheslowwork ofchanginghowIsawandinteractedwiththe worldsoIcouldbecomethekindofpersonwho wouldtakeachancetospendayearstudying withanherbalistontheEmeraldIsle.

Letting Magic In explores these changes. It's about how I became the person I never intended to be but, perhaps, always was. My hope is that it gives readers both permission andapathintotheirowninnerknowing,sothey candiscovermissingpiecesofthemselves.

OMTIMES: That line: I became the personIneverknewIwantedtobe,but perhaps always stood out from the book's introduction. What was most helpful on this journey? What advice do you have for others who are trying tofindtheircalling?

MaiaToll:Yourintuitionwillpointyoutoward yourcalling.Butdon'texpectthegoingtobe perfectly smooth! Sometimes your intuition leads to uncomfortable growth. That was how it was for me. Ireland was not a comfortable time. It was often lonely and difficult. Confronting this loneliness and learning from the challenges was what expandedmetogrowintomycalling. Theideathatyoucansimplyfollowyourbliss and land in your calling might sometimes work,butit'snottheonlypath.

Weoftenconfuseacallingwithemployment. A calling is your soul's path. Employment is howyoumakeyourmoneyandtendtoyour physical needs. Sometimes one begets the other, but no rule says your calling is intrinsically linked to how you make a living. You might pay the bills by working as a carpenter and feed your spirit by playing classical guitar. Or teach middle school during the year and nourish your soul by hikingtheAppalachiantraileverysummer.

If you can mentally uncouple your calling from your career, you might realize you're alreadywellonyourway!

OMTIMES: One of the things you talk aboutinthebookisbodyknowledgeor somatic knowing. How do our bodies communicate important messages to us?

MaiaToll:InourmodernAmericanculture, we've gotten the idea that knowledge happens only in our heads. Maybe we can blame Descartes: I think, therefore I am. But the way in which our bodies can read the world around us is truly wondrous. The trick is to convert this subtle wisdom into usableinformation.

I wish there were a handbook for interpreting the body's messages, but learning how to read the body is very individualized because we all interpret sensationsdifferently.

Irecommendthatpeoplebeginwithsimple noticing.That'sthetrailheadforthistypeof work. Check in with yourself three times a day, noting mental, emotional, and bodily sensations. Also, note what's going on in your life and the world around you. Over a few weeks, you'll begin to notice your own patterns, like you might get a headache when a storm is coming in, or your fingers might twitch before you get in a fight with your partner. You'll start to catalog what sensations match up with various thought patterns. Like if you get a belly ache when you think about an event from your past. I find the body is often a more reliable sourceofwisdomthanthemind,whichcan get caught up in anxiety or hung up on tryingtobelogical.Manyoftheanswerswe need fall outside of the realms of strict rationality.

OMTIMES: You assert that intuition is likeamuscle.Howdowestrengthenit?

Maia Toll: The trick to strengthening your intuition is to work through the body insteadofthemind.Usetheinternalcheckins I mentioned to train yourself to notice the information you're taking in. Your intuitionisalwaysthere;trainingyourselfto both recognize it and pay attention to it is thehardestpart!

If you find that working through the sensations of the body is difficult. So begin to pay attention to the stories your mind tellsitselfwhenit'srelaxed.

Letmeillustrate:

When I was teaching plant medicine, instead of telling my students what each plantdid,Iwouldinsteadsendthemoutto learnfromtheplantsdirectly.

OMTIMES: You assert that intuition is likeamuscle.Howdowestrengthenit?

Iwouldgivedirections:gooutandsitwitha plant. Really look at it: where is it growing? Whatisitgrowingnextto?Howdoyoufeel sitting with it? What colors or patterns are youseeing?Areyouhearinganything?

Students would come back with all sorts of information, some of which was gleaned fromcloseobservationofthedetailsofthe plant and its surroundings. Some people wouldfeelliketheplantspoketothem,and others would have a vision or daydream that helped them understand the plant better.

But without fail, some folks came back baffled. They would tell me that they didn't learnanything.Ialwaysfocusedfirstonthe peoplewhocamebackwithnothing.

"So, what were you doing out there for the last20minutes?"Iwouldask.

"Nothing."Theywouldsay."Justthinking." "Whatwereyouthinkingabout?"I'dask. And this is where it would get good. They werealwaysthinkingaboutsomethingthat relatedtotheplant…theyjustdidn'tknowit.

My favorite "nothing happened" story involves a guy in his early thirties who worked at a pharmaceutical company. When he came in from the garden, he told me he'd spent the 20 minutes he was sitting with the plant just thinking. So, I asked my usual question: what were you thinking about? He told a story about racing bikes with his brother on a long, steep hill. He'd flipped his bike, torn up his knees, and had bits of gravel stuck in his skin.

Hewasshockedtolearnthattheplanthe'd been sitting with was applied topically to draw things out of the skin and was also usedforcutsandscrapes.

We are all constantly taking in information from the world around us, information that our brain interprets in ways that we are comfortablewithandcanunderstand.Part of strengthening your intuition is figuring out how you personally access this energetic information. If you find it difficult to tune in through your body, try noticing thestoriesyoutellyourselfwhenyourmind isrelaxed.

OMTIMES: Is it possible to become "too intune?"

MaiaToll:WhileIdon'tthinkyoucanbetoo intuned, I do think you have to know where yourbrakesandswitchesare!Likeanything else,therearetimeswhenyou'llwanttobe tuninginandtimeswhenyouneedtofocus on more linear and rational pursuits. Intuitiondoesn'tdothedishes!

You also have to choose your filters. For a while, I was waking up panicked in the morning, having spent the night dreaming of disasters that were happening all over the globe. My husband and I would do a news search and find the small plane that crashed or the volcano that erupted. I calleditbeingtunedtodisasterradio.Itdid me,andtheworld,absolutelynogood,soI changedthestation!

OMTIMES: You were searching your entirelifeforMagic.Whereandhowdid youfinallyfindit?

Maia Toll: My search for Magic started in books. I have a learning disability and was slow to come to reading. One summer, a campcounselorreadLloydAlexander'sThe Book of Three to us. I was mesmerized and haven'tbeenwithoutabooksince!ThoughI came to mysticism and Magic through fiction, it took me a while to sort out what wasrealandpossibleinanonfictionlife.

Forme,InowfindMagicintuning into and flowing with the energy patterns of the natural world, feeling for the rhythms, and stayinginsync.

OMTIMES: How can we find the Magicinourdailylives?

MaiaToll:Addingsmallritualsthat help you find the natural rhythms is a lovely place to begin. Acknowledge the sunrise and the sunset. Track the phases of the moon. Celebrate the changing seasons. Then take it one step further: tune into these rhythms within your own body. After you find your flow, take advantage of the way the natural energy is movingwithinyou.

For example, during the waning moon, you might find that you have the desire to follow the moon's example and see what youneedtodecreaseinyourown life:clutterinyourcloset,weedsin the garden, toxins in your body. Feeling in sync is its own kind of Magic, and there's an ease to tapping into nature's energy patternsandlettingthemsupport yourown.

OMTIMES: As someone who trained as a clinical herbalist, is there a little-known tincture or herb that you feel would benefit mostpeople?

Maia Toll: When you train in traditional medicine, the most important thing you learn is to treatpeopleasindividuals,notas adiseaseordiagnoses.

The job of the healer is to observe, using all their senses closely. Once they begin to see theshapeofthestoryofthepersoninfrontof them, they can reframe and retell that story inawaythathelpstheotherpersonheal.

Some of that reframing is moving the focus from the disease diagnosis to the patterns that underlie the condition. From there, it's a process of matchmaking: what plant speaks tothisparticularperson'spatterns?

It's important to keep in mind that plants have well-rounded personalities. So you needtounderstandboththepersonandthe plant.

For example, licorice root is lovely for gastrointestinal complaints, but it also causes the body to flush potassium which canraisebloodpressure.

This makes licorice a fabulous plant for someone with certain gastrointestinal concerns who also has chronically low BP but a poor choice for someone whose BP is high.

Allthistosay:Thereisnouniversalpanacea, and if someone tells you there is, it's a marketingtool!

OMTIMES: You wrote your first book at forty-eight and are now a bestselling author. What advice would you give to thosewhosedreamsarestillunrealized laterinlife?

This makes licorice a fabulous plant for someone with certain gastrointestinal concernswhoalsohaschronicallylowBPbut apoorchoiceforsomeonewhoseBPishigh. All this to say: There is no universal panacea, and if someone tells you there is, it's a marketingtool!

OMTIMES: You wrote your first book at forty-eight and are nowabestsellingauthor.What advicewouldyougivetothose whose dreams are still unrealizedlaterinlife?

I remember being a teenagerandhavingato-dolistof things I would achieve by my eighteenth birthday. I was a horseback rider and, at eighteen, wouldageoutofthejuniordivision. Thatwasanexternaldeadline.

But I also had an internal drive: there was something in me that longed to be a prodigy, that thought I would be a failure if I didn't accomplish something remarkable while young. After I aged out of junior, I quickly set a newage-relatedgoal:Iwouldwrite a novel by the age of twenty-five (this didn't even come close to happening).

Somanypeoplesetanageintheir mind that's the cut-off date for having a productive, inspiring, creativelife.Oncethey'repasttheir personal and randomly chosen expiration date, they believe their lives will thereafter be average or evenmediocre.It'saneasytrapto fall into, but it's self-created. The good news is that if you make it, youcanunmakeit.

I've been writing since I was a kid. I've always been good at stringing wordsintolyricalsentences,butup until my Irish adventure, I didn't havealargertaletotell.

The Ireland story gave me a starting point. Interestingly,thoughIstartedwithIreland,I'mnow sixbooksinandstillhavebarelytouchedtheIrish tale. Instead, I realized how much I had learned during that particular period of my life and allowed those lessons, and the desire to share them,toinformmywriting.

As for advice? Make a beginning. You might not end up where you thought you were going, and that'sokay.Followyourowninspiration.Whenyou set your intentions for a particular goal or destination, add the clause this or something better.Letlifesurpriseyou.Letyousurpriseyou. There are no deadlines. I'm in my fifties and still haven'twrittenthatnovel.There'stime.

OMTIMES: The book contains a number of excerpts from your past journals. Do you think writing has a role in helping us to discoverwhoweareintheworld?

MaiaToll:Ithinkwediscoverwhoweare not once but over and over again. Journaling allows you to track yourself over time. Patterns emerge that you might not see from the trenches of daily life. I had five notebooks from the years written about in Letting Magic In. It was fascinating to read through my past entries.Icouldseemyselfexperimenting, tryingdifferentwaysofthinking,tryingto figure out what was most comfortable forme.

On a more daily basis, I sometimes use writing as a way to chat with myself. If I feel lost or confused or need to understand my own emotions better, I'll write a question at the top of a blank page.SometimesI'llsetatimerandfree write–that's,writinganythingthatcomes to mind–for ten minutes. It's fascinating how often I find an answer in that free flow.

Other times, I'll pretend someone else is asking methequestionandthatIdoactuallyknowthe answer.I'llwritetheansweroutlikeI'manadvice columnistrespondingtoastranger'squestion.

OMTIMES:Doyouhaveanyfavoriteways ofcelebratingthesummersolstice?

Maia Toll: In Latin, the word solstice comes from two words: sol means "sun, and" sistere means "to stand still." During the time of the solstice, the sun appears to stand still on the horizon.Itakethisasaninvitationalsotostand still,torest,topause.

Rituals of rest are often underrated: a nap, a bath,awalkinthewoods.Itdoesn'thavetobe fancy.

Springhasalotofoutward-movingenergy. It always feels like a bit of a push–the garden suddenly comes back to life and needs attention. There's inevitably a book deadline, and my nieces and nephews finish school and come for their summer visit.

Bythetimewegettothesummer solstice,I'mtired.Ifeelattenuated, stretched.

Taking a pause is important for my psyche. I remind myself that I don't need to turn my rest into a project.There'snoneedtogoona silent retreat or drive to some award-winning spa. Instead, I try tothinkofsmallwaystobreakmy usualpatternsandaddamoment of stillness: a silent meal, a morning meditation, an afternoon lieinthesun.

I remind myself that the time when the sun appears to stand stillisfivedaystoeithersideofthe momentofthesolstice.Thattakes thepressureoff.

I have a ten-day window in which to move a bit slower and sink back into myself. I pull out oracle or tarot cards to read with my morning tea, walk thelabyrinthintheafternoon,andhaveaglassof winewithdinner.

Social media puts a lot of pressure on us to be outwardly spiritual, to do something splashy for thesolstice.

Still,duringboththewinterandsummersolstices,I tendtocravesimplicityandsolitude.

I gift myself both, using the time to reflect on the season that just passed. What did I accomplish? I note it down to remind myself of what I've done. What new people have come into my life? Who have I lost touch with? I reach out and say hi to friends. I look back at the past season and set my intentionsforthefuture.

As the longest days stretch languidly into the night, the darkening trail beyond the house beckons.MypartnerandIwalkintothewoodsand lookforfireflies.Thecelebrationoftheseasonisin these small things, in the noticing, in taking the timetoluxuriateineachmoment. Omtimes.com