In the Name of God, the Universally Merciful, the Especially Merciful. Praise be to God in all circumstances, and may blessings and salutations be upon our master Muḥammad, through whom the essence of prophethood became manifest and beautiful, and upon his family and companions until the Day of Return. This is a pleasant compilation of what has been said about bereavement by losing a child which I have named “The Book of the Virtues of Patience in Bearing the Loss of a Child.” I have included in it traditions and accounts, select anecdotes, and lessons, and it is the third work I have compiled on this subject. May God benefit others by it and may He reward me for it, for He is all-generous and all-giving. God, exalted is He, has said: ﴾And We will try you with something in the way of fear, and hunger, and a lack of wealth, and souls, and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient ones who when they are struck by an affliction they say, “Verily we belong to God, and to Him shall we surely return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord, and those are the ones who are rightly guided﴿2 In his commentary on the Qurʿān entitled al-Kashshāf, al-Zamakhsharī relates from Imām al-Shāfiʿī, may God be best pleased with him, who said that what is meant by “lack of fruits” is the death of children. Ibn Jarīr [al-Ṭabarī], and Ibn Mundhir, and Ibn Abī Ḥātim in their Qurʿānic commentaries, and al-Ṭabarānī in al-Muʿjam al-Kabīr, and al-Bayhaqī in Shuʿab al-Īmān include what 2: The Holy Qurʿān: The Heifer (2): 155-157. 15
is related from Ibn ʿAbbās regarding God’s words: ﴾And We will try you with something in the way of fear, and hunger… etc.﴿, that he said, “God informs the believers that this world is an abode of trials, and that He will assay and try them in this world, and He has enjoined patience upon them and has given them glad tidings, saying, ﴾And give glad tidings to the patient ones﴿. He also informs the believers that if they resign themselves to the command of God and, when affliction strikes, they pronounce the words “Verily we belong to God, and to Him shall we surely return”, then God will inscribe for them three benefits: blessings from God, exalted is He; mercy; and the realisation of the paths to right guidance.” The Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “Whoever pronounces the words “Verily we belong to God, and to Him shall we surely return” when affliction strikes, then God will console him in his affliction and will make his future bright and will give him righteous descendants who will please him.”
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Children intercede for their parents. Abū Nuʿaym relates in the book Ḥilyat al-Awliyāʾ, from Abū Umāmah, who said that the Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “On the Day of Resurrection, the progeny of the Muslims will be beneath God’s throne as intercessors whose intercession is accepted.” Ḥumayd ibn Zanjuwayh, and Muslim, and Abū Nuʿaym relate, from Abū Ḥassān, who said, “I said to Abū Hurayrah, may God be best pleased with him, “Two of my sons have died, so relate to me something which you have heard from the Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, which will give us solace for the ones who have passed away.” He said, “The young ones from among them will have the freedom of Paradise, and each one of them will meet his father and take hold of the hem of his robe and will not stop until God allows him to enter Paradise with his father.” In the version of Abū Nuʿaym, “He does not leave him until he enters with him into Paradise.” The word describing them is daʿmūṣ (pl. daʿāmīṣ) - a small creature which lives in water. It is used to refer to one who is able to enter into things, and the meaning is that they are free to roam in Paradise and enter into its mansions and are not prevented from entering into the presence of women. Saʿīd ibn Manṣūr relates in his Sunan, from Anas, may God be best pleased with him, who said that a man had a son who died, and the Prophet consoled him and said, “Will it not please you that he will be with you on the Day of Resurrection and he will be told, “Enter Paradise.” And he will say, “My Lord, what about my parents?” And he will continue to intercede until God grants him intercession for you and He will allow all of you to enter Paradise.” Ibn Abī al-Dunyā in Kitāb al-ʿAzāʾ, and al-Bayhaqī in 17
Shuʿab al-Īmān relate from Anas, who said, “A child of ʿUthmān ibn Maẓʿūn died and his grief for him was severe. So the Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said to him, “Paradise has eight doors and Hellfire has seven. Will it not please you that you come to one of the doors and find your son by your side taking hold of your belt and interceding for you with your Lord?” He said, “Indeed.” Then the Muslims said, “O Messenger of God, shall we have the same as what ʿUthmān will have in the ones we have lost?” He said, “Yes, for those of you who are patient, and seek the hereafter.” al-Bayhaqī relates in Shuʿab al-Īmān, from Abū Hurayrah, may God be best pleased with him, who said, “The Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “Any three children who die to a Muslim couple before reaching the age of majority will be given entry to Paradise with their parents by virtue of God’s mercy. The children will be by one of the doors of Paradise and they will be told to enter Paradise but they will say not until our parents come. Then they will be told to enter Paradise along with their parents by virtue of God’s mercy.” Ibn Saʿd, and al-Ṭabarānī, and Ibn al-Sakan, relate from Muḥammad ibn Sīrīn, who said, “Ḥabībah related to me that she was in the house of the Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, when he came in. He said, “Any three children of a Muslim who die before reaching the age of majority will be brought forth on the Day of Resurrection and they will stand before the door of Paradise. They will be told to enter Paradise but they will say, “Not until my parents enter.” Ibn Sīrīn said, “I do not know about the second or the third.” Then they will be told, “Enter Paradise you and your parents.” al-Ḥāfiẓ al-Dumyāṭī said, “Ḥabībah is the daughter of 18
Umm Ḥabībah the wife of the Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him.” Abū Nuʿaym in al-Ḥilyah relates from Anas, who said, “The Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “On the Day of Resurrection a call will go out amongst the children of the Muslims saying, “Emerge from your graves!” Then a second call will say, “Proceed to Paradise in groups!” They will say, “O our Lord, with our parents.” Then a third call will say, “Proceed to Paradise in groups!” They will say, “O our Lord, with our parents.” Then a fourth call will say, “With your parents!”, at which every child will spring towards its parents and will take their hands and they will enter Paradise. And they recognise their parents best. And on that day the mothers of your children will be in your houses.” Ḥumayd ibn Zanjuwayh relates from Thawbān, the client of the Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, who said, “The hesitator and the one who has been humiliated will certainly enter Paradise.” He was asked, “O Abū ʿAbd Allāh, who is the hesitator?” He said, “The progeny of the believers who will spread throughout the world and the angels will gather them together and will say to them, “Enter Paradise!” But they will hesitate and will say, “Not until our fathers and mothers enter therein.” As for the one who has been humiliated (mudhall), they are the poverty stricken Muhājirūn who came forward bearing arms. God will give them wings with which they will fly until they enter Paradise.” Aḥmad relates by way of Sharḥabīl ibn Shafʿah, from one of the companions of the Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, that he heard the Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, saying, “The children will be told on the Day of Resurrection, “Enter Paradise!” But they will say, “Not until our fathers and mothers enter 19
therein.” Then they will be brought forward and God will say, “Why is it that they are reticent? Enter Paradise!” They will say, “O Lord, our parents.” Then He will say, “Enter Paradise, you, and your parents!” Ibn Abī Shaybah, and Aḥmad, and Ḥumayd ibn Zanjuwayh, and al-Bukhārī, and Muslim, and al-Nasāʿī relate, from Abū Saʿīd al-Khudrī, that the women said, “The men are monopolising you, O Messenger of God. So let us have a day when we may come to you.” So he made an appointment with them. And he reminded them and advised them, and said, “Any one of you who has three children who die, then they will protect you from the fire.” One woman said, “And two? For two of mine have died.” So the Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “Even two.” Ibn Abī Shaybah, and Aḥmad, and Ḥumayd ibn Zanjuwayh, and ʿUbayd ibn Ḥumayd in his Qurʿānic commentary, and al-Tirmidhī, and Ibn Mājah, and al-Bayhaqī in Shuʿab al-Īmān relate, from ʿAbd Allāh ibn Masʿūd, who said, “The Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “Whoever outlives three of their children who have not reached the age of majority, then they will be an impenetrable fortress which will protect him from Hellfire.” Then Abū Dharr said, “I have outlived two.” The Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “Even two.” Then Ubayy ibn Kaʿb, the master of the Qurʿānic reciters, said, “I have outlived one.” The Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “Even one! But this is only for those who are patient when the affliction first strikes.” al-Ṭabarānī relates in al-Muʿjam al-Kabīr, from Bilāl, the client of Abū Wāthilah, who said, “A child of al-Rayyān died and Wāthilah witnessed the funeral. When everyone had left, Wāthilah was standing by the Damascus gate when 20
al-Rayyān passed by. Wāthilah said to him, “O Abū Saʿīd, may God ease your affliction. I heard the Messenger of God, The Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, saying, “Whoever buries three children, then God will make Hellfire forbidden to him.” al-Bazzār in the Musnad, and al-Ṭabarānī relate, from ʿUthmān ibn al-ʿĀṣ, who said, “The Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “A Muslim who survives three of his children has been shielded from Hellfire with a thick shield.” al-Dāraquṭnī in al-Ifrād relates from al-Zubayr ibn al-ʿAwwām, who said, “The Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, was very generous to us with regard to our children and he said, “Whoever has three children who die before reaching the age of majority will be protected by them from Hellfire.” Abū al-Ḥasan al-Tursī relates from his teachers, from Anas, who said, “al-Zubayr had a son who died and he was griefstricken over him. He came to the Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, and said, “O Messenger of God, help us to relinquish our children.” So the Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “Whoever has three children who die before reaching the age of majority then they will be a protection between him and Hellfire.” Mālik relates in al-Muwaṭṭaʾ, from Abū al-Naḍr al-Sulamī, who said that the Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “Any Muslim who has three children who die and seeks the hereafter in them then they will be a shield for him from Hellfire.” Then a woman who was by the Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “And two?” He said, “Even two.” Saʿīd ibn Manṣūr, and al-Bazzār, and al-Ṭabarānī relate from Zuhayr ibn ʿAlqamah, who said, “One of the women of 21
the Anṣār came to the Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, about a son of hers who had died and the people had treated her roughly. She said, “O Messenger of God, two sons of mine have died since I entered Islam as well as this one.” The Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “You have been protected from Hellfire with a sturdy protection.” Ibn Abī Shaybah narrates from ʿĀʾishah, who said, “Whoever gives up three children patiently and seeking the afterlife then they will protect him from Hellfire, by God’s permission.” al-Ṭabarānī relates, from ʿAbd al-Raḥmān ibn Bashīr al-Anṣārī, who said, “The Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “Whoever has three children who die will not enter Hellfire except as a passer by.” What is meant by “passer by” is passing over the ṣirāṭ. Ibn al-Sakan relates by way of Ibn Sīrīn, from a woman called Rajāʿ al-Anṣārīyah, who said, “I was with the Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, when a woman came to him with a son of hers. She said, “O Messenger of God, pray to God for blessings for me through my son for three of my children have died since I entered Islam.” The Prophet, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “This is a fortified shield.” Then a man with the Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, said, “Have you heard, O Rajāʿ, what the Messenger of God has said?” Ibn al-Sakan relates in another way, from Ibn Sīrīn, from a woman of the Anṣār, who said, “The Messenger of God, may God’s blessing and salutation be upon him, who said, “Any Muslim woman who has three children who die before reaching the age of majority has been protected from Hellfire.” 22