Combatting Loneliness in Seniors By BARBARA ELAINE GOLL Loneliness affects more than 42 million older Americans, according to the American Psychological Association. While living alone does not inevitably lead to loneliness, it can be a contributing factor. Social contact typically decreases with age, due to retirement, spouse and friends dying or moving away, lack of mobility, and physical limitations. When an entire peer group is experiencing these naturally occurring changes, it is easy to see why there is a decline in the number and quality of relationships as we age. Loneliness is a very personal experience. Loneliness comes with different causes and implications for every individual. This makes addressing the problem complex. Loneliness is a negative emotion defined by the quality and quantity of relationships that we have versus those we long to have. It is based on an individual’s values, needs, wishes, and feelings. Loneliness can create a persistent loop of negative thoughts and feelings that can wear us down and push others away. “Loneliness is tricky because someone has to tell you their negative emotions,” says Kerstin Gerst Emerson from the Institute of Gerontology. “Diagnosis depends on asking questions, not a blood test or MRI.” It is a subjective feeling of social separation. When one does not feel they have value, self-worth, or a purpose to their lives, it can lead to loneliness and depression. Loneliness can be defining and devastating to the lives of the elderly. I realized the devastation of loneliness when my mother made a comment after a holiday family gathering, stating that she felt alone and not a part of conversations. She also felt that what she might have to say was not important and that the conversations she had with others were just small talk. At the nursing home where I worked, I saw the pain on residents’ faces as they told me how lonely they were feeling, even though they were participating in a group activity at the time. Loneliness is personal, and these feelings are all valid. Loneliness has a harmful impact on mental and physical health. When loneliness becomes a lifestyle, research shows it can cause depression, risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes, weakened immune system, anxiety, and dementia. These are not issues to be ignored. The Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience suggests that the connections with loneliness and health risks lie in harmful lifestyle choices such as eating poorly, inactivity, and smoking. What can be done to combat loneliness in seniors? As family, caregivers, and community members, we can help 14
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our seniors become less lonely and more engaged. Here are some helpful suggestions: 1. Encourage seniors to express themselves while being a good listener. Ask them to tell you more about past interests and activities. Try to rekindle and adapt past interests and hobbies to fit their current abilities. 2. Use information learned from inquiring conversations to create an individual plan to decrease loneliness. Be creative with ideas and offerings in your community, clubs, and groups. Be prepared to nudge a little bit outside of their comfort zone. 3. Foster relationships between generations through visits and technology, such as email and Facetime or Skype. Help grandchildren learn wisdom, childhood stories, and family history from grandparents. Have them show grandparents how to use their cellphone or computer more easily or help them correspond with friends and distant family. 4. Visit as often as possible and engage in meaningful conversation. Give your full attention and really listen and hear what they have to say. Take a walk, read, sing, or listen to favorite songs or play a board game. If unable to visit often, you can write, call, or use technology. 5. Seek out and attend activities of interest with the senior, especially for the first few times. Local senior centers and the Area Agency on Aging are a good place to start. 6. Let seniors teach you something. When a former art professor moved into the nursing home where I was working, I empowered him to teach a basic sketch class to the residents. This brought worth and value to his life as well as the lives of the other residents who learned how to draw. Older individuals love to pass on knowledge. 7. Get seniors out of their home by going to restaurants, Sunday church service, the theater, shopping, visit with a friend, or taking www.BusinessWomanPA.com
