Chester County 50plus LIFE February 2016

Complimentary | Chester County Edition | February 2016 • Vol. 13 No. 2

Finding Love After 50 page 10

Natural Protection for Your Heart page 5

Is This Thing On?

Tips for Safely Shopping Online Abby Stokes

You can’t see or touch the merchandise, so what makes online shopping so appealing?

Well, the following three aspects, for starters: 1. Comforts of Home: You don’t need to leave your home (or office) to shop. Therefore, no parking hassles, no waiting in long lines, and no fighting for the last iPhone on the shelf.

2. Global Access: Stores all over the world are at your fingertips.

3. Savings: Online retailers save on personnel and other overhead costs.

They often pass the savings on to you.

Start with the Familiar Get your feet wet with a visit to the

look for Contact Us, Customer Service, or About Us. Scroll to the bottom of the page. Sometimes, what you seek (and they hide) is in very small letters at the end of the webpage.

website of a “brick-and mortar” store you frequent in your area. If you shop at Home Depot, visit their website: www.homedepot.com. Is Macy’s one of your shopping spots? Visit www. macys.com.

Or you could pop into the website of a catalog that you patronize.

Perhaps you are a Crate & Barrel (www.crateandbarrel.com) fan or a Harriet Carter (www.harrietcarter. com) loyalist.

Be On the Lookout If, at any time, you see a customerservice number, jot it down.

Websites are notorious for concealing their contact numbers.

For reasons of cost, most sites prefer all correspondence to be by email.

I may be old fashioned, but when I have a complaint or question, I’d like the option to speak to a human being.

If you return to the website seeking out their telephone number,

Satisfaction & Safety Guaranteed To ensure that your credit card information is safe, most websites encrypt the page where you enter your credit card, making it safer for transmission. You’ll know the page is protected when http at the start of the website address has an added s (https) for security.

A closed padlock might appear at the bottom of the browser window.

An open padlock or a broken key at the bottom of the window indicates you are not on an encrypted page.

If the unfortunate happens and

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someone abuses your credit card (and, remember, the Internet may not have even played a role in the event), under federal law your liability is limited to $50.

If a breach of security on the part of the website revealed your credit card information, the website should pay this amount for you.

The American Bar Association has an informative website: www. safeshopping.org. (Note: It is .org, not .com.) Visit their site for more information before you start

shopping on the Internet.

If something happens that warrants you bringing in the big guns, contact the Better Business Bureau at www.bbbonline.org. You could also fill out a complaint form with the Federal Trade Commission at www.ftc.gov. Type “complaint” in the internal search engine.

You Are in Control If a website is really confusing or poorly designed, feel free to abandon the mission at any time. In

most cases, you can find the same item being sold on several different websites.

No one can save you from your own bad shopping habits, online or otherwise. Step away from the mouse when considering the 1980s sweater that glows under black lights. It wasn’t a good idea back then, and it certainly isn’t a good idea now.

Do you really need another circular saw? Aren’t two enough? Yes, I know it was a great deal, but stand firm. The convenience of the Internet

can definitely feed the impulse shopper in all of us.

Practice restraint and enjoy your purchases!

Abby Stokes, author of “Is This Thing On?” A Friendly Guide to Everything Digital for Newbies, Technophobes, and the Kicking & Screaming and its companion website, AskAbbyStokes.com, is the Johnny Appleseed of Technology, singlehandedly helping more than 300,000 people cross the digital divide.

At Your Fingertips Helpful numbers, hotlines, and local businesses and organizations eager to serve you—all just a phone call away.

Continuing Care Retirement Communities Moravian Manor 300 W. Lemon St., Lititz (717) 626-0214 Dental Services Family Cosmetic Dentistry, Dr. David Stall (484) 551-3006 1646 West Chester Pike, Suite 1, West Chester Disasters American Red Cross Greater Brandywine (610) 692-1200 Chester County Emergency Services (610) 344-5000 Salvation Army Coatesville (610) 384-2954 Salvation Army West Chester (610) 696-8746 Emergency Numbers Central PA Poison Center (800) 521-6110

Funeral & Cremation Services Cremation Society of Pennsylvania Serving Chester County (800) 720-8221

Housing Eastwood Village Homes, LLC 102 Summers Drive, Lancaster (717) 397-3138

Health & Medical Services Alzheimer’s Association (800) 272-3900

Housing Assistance Community Impact Legal Services (610) 876-0804

American Cancer Society (800) 227-2345

Housing Authority of Chester County (610) 436-9200

American Heart Association (610) 940-9540

Housing Authority of Phoenixville (610) 933-8801

Arthritis Foundation (215) 665-9200

JEWELERS American Gold & Estate Buyers, Inc. 363 E. Lincoln Highway, Exton (484) 872-8216

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (800) 232-4636

Pharmacies CVS/pharmacy www.cvs.com

Coatesville VA Medical Center (610) 383-7711 Domestic Violence (800) 799-7233

Legal Aid of Southeastern PA (610) 436-4510

National Osteoporosis Foundation (800) 223-9994

Medical Equipment & Supplies Medical Supply (800) 777-6647

Financial Services Internal Revenue Service (800) 829-3676

Senior Healthlink (610) 431-1852

Nutrition Meals on Wheels Chester County Inc. (610) 430-8500

Social Security Administration (800) 772-1213

Pennsylvania Hunger Action Center (800) 366-3997

Southeastern PA Medical Institute (610) 446-0662

Office of Aging Chester County Department of Aging Services (610) 344-6350

Hearing Services Pennsylvania Office for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing (800) 233-3008 V/TTY

Senior Centers Coatesville (610) 383-6900

Great Valley (610) 889-2121

PACE (800) 225-7223

Fitness Aquatics Is, Inc. (484) 354-2720

Real Estate Keller-Williams Real Estate Kelly Steyn (215) 646-2900

Downingtown (610) 269-3939

Legal Services Lawyer Referral Service (610) 429-1500

Office of Aging (610) 344-6350/(800) 692-1100

U.S. Financial (800) 595-1925, ext. 2122

Physicians Gateway Medical Associates Locations in Coatesville, Downingtown, Lionville, and West Chester (610) 423-8181

Kennett Square (610) 444-4819 Oxford (610) 932-5244 Phoenixville (610) 935-1515 Wayne (610) 688-6246 West Chester (610) 431-4242

Not an all-inclusive list of advertisers in your area.

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Art & Antiques by Dr. Lori

Loving Our Collections

Corporate Office

3912 Abel Drive, Columbia, PA 17512 Phone 717.285.1350 • Fax 717.285.1360 Chester County: 610.675.6240 Cumberland County/Dauphin County: 717.770.0140 Berks County/Lancaster County/ Lebanon County/York County: 717.285.1350 E-mail address: info@onlinepub.com Website address: www.onlinepub.com

PRESIDENT AND PUBLISHER Donna K. Anderson

EDITORIAL

Vice President and Managing Editor Christianne Rupp Editor, 50plus Publications Megan Joyce

ART DEPARTMENT Project Coordinator Renee McWilliams Production Artists Lauren McNallen Janys Ruth

BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT Account Executives Angie McComsey Jacoby Amy Kieffer Ranee Shaub Miller Account Representatives Brantley Lefever Sales & Event Coordinator Eileen Culp Events Manager Kimberly Shaffer Marketing Coordinator Mariah Hammacher

CIRCULATION

Project Coordinator Loren Gochnauer

ADMINISTRATION Business Manager Elizabeth Duvall

Member of

Awards

50plus LIFE is published by On-Line Publishers, Inc. and is distributed monthly among senior centers, retirement communities, banks, grocers, libraries and other outlets serving the senior community.

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Views expressed in opinion stories, contributions, articles and letters are not necessarily the views of the publisher. The appearance of advertisements for products or services does not constitute an endorsement of the particular product or service. The publisher will not be responsible for mistakes in advertisements unless notified within five days of publication. On-Line Publishers, Inc. reserves the right to revise or reject any and all advertising. No part of this publication may be reproduced or reprinted without permission of On-Line Publishers, Inc. We will not knowingly publish any advertisement or information not in compliance with the Federal Fair Housing Act, Pennsylvania State laws or other local laws.

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Lori Verderame

Love is one of the most comthroughout their marriage. Now, of having strangers come into the mon reasons why we collect with no children or interested house to make her an offer on the objects or hand down objects. relatives to take over the collecdecoys.

Objects come with emotions. tion, Irene is left in a quandary.

She doesn’t know what a good Most people will not part with a She doesn’t want the duck offer looks like, either. If someone particular item or group of items decoys. Reason No. 1 is that she wants to make a killing on this if they were handed down or can’t bear to display the duck collection and buy it for a song, amassed by a loved one, family decoys as they prompt heartache. she is in a vulnerable position. member, or friend.

The emotional collection reminds Now, Irene doesn’t know how I feel this way about my father’s Irene of Frank’s passing. or if she should get into the marnutcracker collection and my Reason No. 2 is the overket, and she doesn’t want to keep mother’s canister set. I wouldn’t whelming number of duck decoys the collection. Like many other part with them families of collecno matter tors, Irene never what! thought she’d be And when left alone with this someone stops vast collection. collecting or Tips for this is no longer common colable to collect, lecting problem sometimes the include chooscollection is ing one or two handed down. favorite decoys to If you can keep as a rememretain a colbrance in honor lection for the of Frank’s years of A vast collection of duck decoys becomes a late long term, collecting. collector’s passion and his widow’s problem. historically, Get an appraisthat collection al from an apwill increase praiser who does in value over time. So, hold on to now stacked in the basement. not have any financial interest in the collection if you can.

Also, the vast collection is unthe decoys—doesn’t want to sell And, add to the collection familiar to Irene, a non-collector. them, doesn’t want to buy them. when you can and start to familShe can’t identify the decoys’ Be prepared to pay that appraiser iarize yourself with the collection sculptors, she can’t identify the for their expertise and time. by learning about its history and regional characteristics of each Ask the appraiser to tell you market value. decoy, and she is uninformed and the retail value of the decoy colFor many, the love of collectat the mercy of anyone with inlection, not an auction value or ing is not only commonplace, but formation about decoys and their insurance value of the collection. also comforting. At other times, market value. She knows these Take some time to consider a collection can be a burden and buyers may take advantage of her. the market information and then present new problems. When a She realizes that auctions may make a decision about how you collection comes to you from a not be the best place to sell the will act. Don’t be hasty. Get infordeceased loved one, the situation collection because Frank got mation so you can make a good may prove difficult. many of his best decoy bargains decision.

For instance, when Frank, a by buying at auctions. If a buyer Celebrity Ph.D. antiques appraiser, longtime collector of duck decoys, at an auction is getting a bargain, author, and former museum direcpassed away, his collection bethen the person selling the decoy tor, Dr. Lori hosts antiques appraisal came the property and project of at auction must have lost money events worldwide. Dr. Lori is the star his widow. on the transaction. appraiser on Discovery channel. Visit Like most widows of collecSince Irene can’t tell one wood- www.DrLoriV.com/Events, www.Fators, Irene was happy that Frank en duck from another, she begins cebook.com/DoctorLori, or call (888) enjoyed the process of collecting to worry. She doesn’t like the idea 431-1010. www.50plusLifePA.com

Dear Pharmacist

Natural Protection for Your Heart Suzy Cohen

Just because your relatives have suffered a heart attack, doesn’t mean you will, so realize that in this moment, you are still healthy. Positive thoughts reduce stress hormones like cortisol, which damage the heart.

Because you have a family history of heart disease, remain vigilant about eating a healthy, well-balanced diet; doing aerobic exercise; and taking essential nutrients that help maintain normal blood pressure and cholesterol.

Most Americans take blood pressure drugs. Pharmaceutically speaking, there are more than 100 different pills to tackle high blood pressure. In some instances, these are helpful, but they relax blood vessels temporarily, while the disease process continues.

Many drugs used to lower blood pressure just so happen to be drug muggers of magnesium, zinc, calcium, and iron, so taking a multi-mineral supplement or a trace-mineral supplement a few hours after you take your medicine can mitigate side effects.

While blood pressure or cholesterol medications, beta blockers, calciumchannel blockers, and digoxin may be prescribed by your physician, it’s

important to pressure over realize that their time. Hawthorne effect on your turns on an antibody is only aging switch temporary. in your body The (a gene called underlying PGC-1 alpha), disease and which helps you inflammation burn fat more will continue efficiently. to destroy the delicate pipeline: Fish Oils – your blood They improve February is American Heart Month vessels, arteries, cholesterol and capillaries. This is why vitamin ratios and reduce risk of blood clot C, lysine, and proline help, because formation. they keep your blood vessels flexible and help reduce plaquing.

Taurine – It’s an amino acid that I wrote a whole chapter on heart helps regulate heart rhythm, regulate disease in my diabetes book, and blood pressure, and lower blood right now, I’d like to share some of pressure. the most important supplements that could help a person reduce their risk of heart attack.

Obviously, ask your physician which supplement(s) are right for your individual condition:

Did You Know?

Certain antidepressants, decongestants, and painrelieving narcotics can alter heart rhythm.

Sometimes potassium deficiency contributes to heart problems. If your doctor has told you that you’re low in this mineral, check in your medicine cabinet because some medications are drug muggers and can actually reduce potassium levels.

This information is not intended to diagnose, prevent, or treat your disease.

For more information about the author, visit SuzyCohen.com

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Arginine – It’s an amino acid that the body makes on its own. You can buy it too. In 2009, researchers at the University of Virginia found that it could help people with heart failure.

Ribose – It’s a naturally occurring sugar that the body uses to make ATP, your energy molecule. Ribose improves blood flow and provides much-needed oxygen to the heart.

Hawthorn – It’s an herb that increases the amount of blood your heart pumps, and it lowers blood

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February 2016

5

Salute to a Veteran

Robert D. Wilcox

In World War II He Flew for the Yanks … and for the Brits

At age 94, Richard Boyd is a clear reminder of Hollywood’s handsome Errol Flynn. And he has a dashing past to match, virtually all of which was devoted to aviation.

The exploits started for him in 1941 in his native England, when he was 19 and volunteered for service with the Royal Air Force (RAF) as a crewmember. He was selected for pilot training and began flying the Tiger Moth single-engine biplane.

And just before he was to solo, his whole world changed.

The chief of the U.S. Army Air Corps, “Hap” Arnold, had proposed that a limited number of British young men be trained in our aviation cadet program. Boyd was one of five picked from his group and soon was on his way to the U.S. via a holding base in New Brunswick, where a

The Lancaster bomber in which Boyd flew his missions.

Flying Officer Richard E. Boyd in 1945.

group of soon-to-be cadets was being assembled.

Then, in 1942 he was sent to

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Albany, Ga., to join the aviation cadet class of 42-I, flying the Stearman PT-17. Did he wear an American uniform?

“All but the forage cap, which earmarked me as a Brit,” he says.

In succession then followed basic flying at Macon, Ga., and advanced flying at Valdosta, Ga., where he

got his U.S. wings and RAF rank of pilot officer (the equivalent of our 2nd lieutenant).

He then shipped to Toronto in 1943, where he most memorably met and dated the winsome Rita Mary O’Gorman (more on that later).

It was there that he also was unexpectedly picked to be one of five pilots from his group of 60 to go to Texas to attend the Army Air Corps Central Instructors School at Kelly Field. Having completed that instructor training, he was assigned to Ellington Field in Houston, where he served as an instructor pilot in AT-9s and AT-10s.

In December, he was called back to the RAF, and he shipped from New York for Europe aboard the Queen Mary. What was that like?

With a chuckle, he says, “It was

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a madhouse. With 16,000 troops aboard, there were bunks stacked everywhere. Mine was actually on the bridge of the vessel.”

The Queen Mary was the largest and fastest troopship during World War II. In her seven years of wartime service, she ran an unescorted, zigzag course for 569,429 miles as she carried 765,429 troops across the Atlantic to England.

Arriving in Liverpool, Boyd was sent to Scotland to train to fly the British way. He laughs at the way a sergeant pilot said, “I understand that you trained in the American Air Force.” When Boyd agreed that he had, the sergeant said briskly, “Ah … we’ll soon correct that.”

That was followed by flying the twin-engine Wellington, then the four-engine Stirling, and finally the formidable, four-engine Lancaster.

That amazing bomber could carry almost its own weight with 33,000 pounds of fuel and bombs. It was the only plane that could handle the RAF’s giant, 22,000-pound, specialpurpose bomb, the Grand Slam.

While we think of the Brits as bombing in the night while we bombed by day, the RAF bombed a lot by day, as well. Boyd, for example, flew 11 missions by day and 22 at night.

At night, he was four times picked to be “marker crew,” which dropped flares to light up the target. He remembers one night when he had a problem with his radar over Dresden and had to face the flak during three runs over the target to hit it.

He also recalls a daylight mission when they were to bomb German troops at the east end of the Remagen Bridge over the Rheine, only to be called away at the very last minute upon learning that the Yanks had now crossed the bridge and actually were the troops below them.

For his wartime service, Boyd was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross.

On V-E Day, Boyd was at home on leave and was assigned to transport

command, where he flew Stirling bombers that had been converted to carry troops and equipment to Karachi, India, to fight the Japanese.

What was the closest he ever came to buying the farm?

Scratching his chin, he says, “That has to be the time after the war when I was flying in a York transport plane as an observer. We crashed on landing, and I spent six months in the hospital in a full-body cast. That’s a time I don’t even want to think about.”

Leaving the RAF in 1947, Boyd worked as a flight operations officer for British Overseas Airways. He had been corresponding regularly with Rita, that girl in Toronto, and only then when he had a real job did he feel that he could send the letter that said, “Will you marry me?” along with a one-way ticket to England on the Queen Mary.

Even though they hadn’t been together in person in four years, she came, they quickly married, and for 68 years have never regretted the decision.

In 1951, Boyd joined the Dutch airline KLM for five years before Swissair asked him to work for them and open a New York City office.

To do that, he and Rita came to New York, where they lived on Long Island.

Boyd became operations manager, North America, in 1969 and retired in 1986 after 30 years with the company.

With his complimentary airline tickets, he and Rita have literally traveled the world.

They came to Central Pennsylvania in 2013 to live in one of its retirement communities. And Boyd is proud of the space it gives him for a “war room” in which he keeps a treasure trove of aviation books, pictures, documents, and awards … all that reminds him of the lifetime he’s been privileged to spend in the cutting-edge world of aviation.

Colonel Wilcox flew a B-17 bomber in Europe in World War II.

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7

Traveltizers

Travel Appetizers

Authentically Arizona: A Trip through Diné Bikéyah

By Andrea Gross

The ruts are long and narrow; some measure nearly a foot in depth. As the driver swerves to avoid them, he plows across a shallow river, causing the van to list and my head to bang against the door of the four-wheel drive. I envision a muddy death.

My husband and I are on an aptly named Detours expedition, one that aims to explore not only the scenic spots, but also the cultural heritage of Arizona. Our particular tour focuses on the state’s Native people, and we’ve definitely lucked out.

Our guide is Donovan Hanley, a member of the Towering House Clan of the Navajo, who sports a waistlength braid, a broad smile, and a striking turquoise necklace. He’s about as authentic as you can get.

“Yá’ át’ ééh abíní [good morning],” he says. “Welcome to Diné Bikéyah [The Navajo Nation].”

The Mittens, so called because they Director John Ford often used resemble the mitten-clad hands of a Monument Valley as a setting for his giant, are two of the most distinctive films, and for many folks it has come buttes in Monument Valley. to symbolize the American West.

During the next four days, as we travel to some of the Navajos’ most sacred spots, he intersperses facts about his people’s beliefs and customs with personal stories about his grandfather (a medicine man), his father (a sheep herder), and his 8-year-old niece, who still lives in the same town where he grew up.

As for his necklace, he tells us

that the turquoise stones symbolize creation. Like the sky and water, they provide security and protection.

“The strand on the right is my mother,” he says. “The one on the left is my father. And the loop at the bottom, the strand that connects them, is the umbilical cord. By joining together, they have created me, the future generation.”

Hanley grew up near Monument Valley, a 30,000-acre tribal park near the Arizona/Utah border. The land is filled with stark rock formations that are familiar to most of us from countless movies that depict the American West.

But to the Navajo, the sandstone rocks are more than a filmmaker’s prop; they reflect their way of life and represent some of their deepest convictions.

We tour the valley in an open-air vehicle driven by a specially licensed Navajo guide. In the distance I see The Mittens, a pair of massive buttes that look like the hands of a gloved giant.

“The giant is so big that he can safeguard us,” says the guide.

He continues past spots where medicine men pray, where prospectors have discovered silver, and where a tall, solitary spire resembles the fireplace in

                                    

Take a quick survey on issues important to people over 50. You will be entered into a drawing for a $100 gift card to Giant. You benefit and so does the Central Pennsylvania Food Bank. They too will receive a $100 gift card.

The drawing will be held on March 31, 2016.

 

You’re a SageAge and we want to hear from you ... and your friends, family, and coworkers!

  

Go to www.SageAgeToday.com to enter!

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Contest sponsored by:

       

   

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                 

February 2016

LIFE

The winner will be selected at random. You may enter no more than once a day. The winner will be emailed and called.

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the center of a traditional Navajo hogan (home).

Before leaving the valley, we stop at a hogan to learn about the techniques and beliefs surrounding crafts like spinning and weaving. A weaver explains that authentic blankets and baskets always have a “spirit line” that allows the artisan’s creativity to be used anew on subsequent projects.

Although Monument Valley has been inhabited for thousands of years, it’s the red geological formations—the tall, skinny buttes and wide, flat mesas—that are the real attraction.

For up-close views of the petroglyphs and cliff dwellings that show the human history of Navajoland, we head to Canyon de Chelly National Monument.

A light, gentle rain—a female rain, says our driver—bathes the cottonwood trees with a soft sparkle and brightens the green that peeks out from the rocks.

We see the farms that belong to the 50 or 60 families who live in the canyon today, study the dwellings left by the ancients, and listen to our driver tell stories about his childhood, when he was raised by his grandmother and

Guide Donovan Hanley uses personal stories to give people insight into Navajo culture.

A traditional Navajo house, called a hogan, is on display in Monument Valley. Today hogans are most often used for ceremonial purposes.

Navajo craftspeople demonstrate traditional crafts in Monument Valley’s hogan.

Canyon de Chelly is home to many cliff dwellings.

slept on a sheepskin tossed on the floor of her hogan.

We’re admiring a Puebloan compound perched in a canyon alcove far above us when the sky is split by a flash of lightening.

“No problem,” says the driver. “The rain will come from the right. I will

turn my van to the left.”

He careens along the bumpy road, outrunning the rain—the heavy, male rain—that pelts the ground off to the right.

Hanley laughs when we thank him for arranging another authentically Navajo experience.

“Power lies with those who can read the clouds,” he says.

En route back to Phoenix, we stop at Hubbell Trading Post, the oldest continuously operating trading post in the country.

At first glance, it’s a mix of groceries, dry goods, and run-of-the-mill souvenirs. At second, it’s a repository of outstanding Native American art, from antique rugs to modern creations.

As the resident historian tells the story of a Yei rug, a small woman with long, gray hair walks in, carrying a large, paper-wrapped package. She is, says the proprietor, a master weaver, still practicing what threatens to become a lost art. Two women vie to purchase the rug; the visitor from Sweden wins.

As for me, I settle for a simple souvenir that I find at a nearby convenience store. It’s a 9-inch doll outfitted with a necklace similar to Hanley’s. For $8.95 I have security, protection, and wonderful memories.

For more about Arizona’s Native culture and other Arizona attractions, see www. traveltizers.com. Photos © Irv Green unless otherwise noted; story by Andrea Gross (www.andreagross.com).

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Cover Story: On Life and Love after 50

Greetings, Introductions, and 10 Tips for Finding Love

Tom Blake

I am honored, especially on Valentine’s Day, to be introduced to your newspaper. I have a warm spot in my heart for Pennsylvania. My mother was born in Erie.

My column started when two female editors in Dana Point, Calif., gave me my first writing assignment.

I had just gone through a divorce and thought dating would be easy. It turned out to be difficult, and I wrote about the frustrations of a single guy in his early 50s trying to date again.

I complained and whined that younger women wouldn’t go out with me and women my age expected me to pay for dates.

The editors felt that the single women in Southern California would have a field day taking potshots at my

woe-is-me message.

They were right. When my first column ran, a woman said: “Who is this sniveling puke?”

Another said, “Get the boy a crying towel.”

Women told me my writing became less controversial when I started dating my life partner, Greta.

I’ve written approximately 3,500 articles and newsletters on finding love in the later years, and writing on

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February 2016

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this topic has been good to me. I’ve published three books and have been interviewed

by Matt Lauer on the Today show and Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America— very humbling.

My writing scope has broadened to: “On life and love after 50,” as older singles deal with life issues often beyond the scope of just dating.

My advice is applicable to anyone age 50 to 90. Yes, I know people in their 90s who have found love.

While my articles target singles, approximately 35 percent of my readers are married. Many tell me that reading about the hardships singles endure encourages them to appreciate their spouses more. My advice to married couples is usually pretty simple: Stay together and work out any issues.

Let’s have fun together. Maybe we can help some older singles find love.

But to continue writing about senior dating, I need input from readers— your questions, comments, and stories about life and love after 50.

Email me at tompblake@gmail. com and I will respond within a day or two, unless I’m traveling overseas.

Who knows? We might include you in a column.

One thing is certain: As more and more people become single later in life, there are always new and challenging issues.

People often tell me, “I never thought I’d be single at this stage in my life.” My hope is to help as many of them as possible.

Tom’s 10 Tips for Finding a Mate My life partner, Greta, and I had dinner with a widower friend of ours after Christmas. As we were leaving the restaurant, he said, “I don’t want to be alone anymore. But I don’t know how to meet a potential mate.

What do you advise?”

I put together a list that would help him get started. I call it Tom’s 10 Tips for Finding a Mate. The tips apply to both men and women.

1. Let friends, family, and acquaintances know that you’d like to meet other singles. That’s what Ken did with me. He let me know that he was rejoining the human race and wanted to meet new people.

The more people he gets the word out to, the better his chances of finding someone. It’s called networking. And it works.

A week after Ken asked for advice, I received an email from a single woman in his city. I asked each one of them separately if they’d like to correspond. They said yes. Had Ken not mentioned his situation to me, I wouldn’t have thought about introducing them.

2. Get off the couch and out of the house. You won’t meet anybody sitting at home. You need to be where you will meet new people.

Sure, it takes energy and time, but it will give you a purpose. Attend weddings, reunions, church activities, dances, and accept all invitations to events.

Volunteer. Another widower I know volunteers at a nearby hospital twice a week and helps feed the homeless at his brother’s church twice a month. He’s met single women at both places.

3. Go out to enrich your life and meet new people. Do not go out solely to find a mate. www.50plusLifePA.com

People looking too hard come off as desperate and end up turning off the opposite sex. Often, it’s when we aren’t looking that we meet someone special.

4. Pursue activities you enjoy where both sexes are involved. For guys repairing old cars, you likely won’t meet a potential mate. Ditto for women who are quilting.

5. Get the body moving. Walk and exercise. Be friendly to folks you see along the way. Offer to walk with them if appropriate.

6. Keep expectations in check.

Meeting a potential mate won’t be

easy, but don’t give up. It takes time.

7. Internet dating is one method of meeting potential mates. For people living in remote areas, online dating may be a necessity to meet new people.

For people 50-plus, online dating is risky. There are scammers and evil people looking for vulnerable and lonely singles. However, it has worked for lots of couples.

If a guy online sounds too good to be true, he is. Trust your instincts.

Don’t be naïve.

8. Smile and be friendly, positive, and upbeat. If you are in a post-office line, or a grocery-store line, be assertive

Celebrating the History of Black History Month We owe much of our greater events and people who figured understanding of black history to prominently in black American Carter G. Woodson. history.

Born to former slaves, Woodson For example: worked hard and against the tide

of prejudice to obtain his own Feb. 23, 1868: W.E.B. DuBois, civil education. rights leader and co-founder of the In earning his doctorate from NAACP, was born.

Harvard, Woodson was disturbed to find that during Feb. 3, 1870: The his studies, history 15th Amendment books virtually was passed, ignored the granting blacks black American the right to vote. population. So he decided to take Feb. 25, on the challenge 1870: The of writing black first black U.S. Americans into the senator, Hiram history books.

R. Revels (1822He established 1901), took his the Association for oath of office. the Study of Negro

Life and History Feb. 12, (now called the 1909: The Carter G. Woodson Association for National the Study of AfroAssociation for American Life and History) in 1915, the Advancement of Colored People and a year later founded the widely was founded by a group of concerned respected Journal of Negro History. black and white citizens in New York Then in 1926, he launched City.

Negro History Week, the precursor

to Black History Month, as an Feb. 1, 1960: A group of black initiative to bring national attention Greensboro, N.C., college students to the contributions of black people began a sit-in at a segregated throughout American history.

Woolworth’s lunch counter. The February was chosen as Black event marks a watershed moment in History Month for the significant the civil-rights movement. www.50plusLifePA.com

by striking up a conversation—but don’t be overly pushy about it.

9. Check out the website Meetup (www.meetup.com). There is no cost and they have clubs and groups across the U.S. that cover all kinds of special interests.

Pick some different ones and attend them. You will be enriching your life and making new friends.

10. Subscribe to my weekly On Life and Love after 50 e-newsletter at www.

FindingLoveAfter60.com. There is no

cost. More than 1,000 singles ages 50 to 90 from across the country share their experiences, frustrations, and successes.

Above all, recharge your batteries and get out and meet new people. I’m betting our friend Ken will be up and running in no time.

For dating information, previous articles, or to sign up for Tom’s complimentary, weekly e-newsletter, go to www. findingloveafter60.com.

Need more LIFE in your life?

Get 50plus LIFE sent straight to your mailbox!

Simply mail this form and $15 for an annual subscription to: 50plus LIFE • 3912 Abel Drive, Columbia, PA 17512 Or, subscribe online at www.50plusLIFEPA.com!

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February 2016

11

Calendar of Events

Chester County

Support Groups Free and open to the public Feb. 2, 1:30 p.m.

Grief Support Group Phoenixville Senior Center 153 Church St., Phoenixville (610) 327-7216

Feb. 8 and 22, 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.

Caregiver Support Group Adult Care of Chester County 201 Sharp Lane, Exton (610) 363-8044

Feb. 2 and 16, 5 to 6:30 p.m.

Bereavement Support Group Main Line Unitarian Church 816 S. Valley Forge Road Devon (610) 585-6604 phoenixbereavement@yahoo.com Nondenominational; all are welcome.

Feb. 9, 7 p.m.

Hearing Loss Support Group Christ Community Church 1190 Phoenixville Pike West Chester (610) 444-445 www.hearinglosschesco.com Feb. 9 and 23, 6:30 to 8 p.m.

Bereavement Support Group Jennersville Hospital Conference Room B 1015 W. Baltimore Pike West Grove (610) 998-1700, ext. 226

Feb. 2 and 16, 6:30 to 8 p.m.

Bereavement Support Group Brandywine Hospital Conference Room 2N 201 Reeceville Road, Coatesville (610) 998-1700, ext. 226 Feb. 3, 6 p.m.

Memory Loss and Dementia Support Group Sunrise Assisted Living of Paoli 324 W. Lancaster Ave., Malvern (610) 251-9994

Senior Center Activities Feb. 10, 6 p.m.

Caregiver Support Group Coatesville Area Senior Center 22 N. Fifth Ave., Coatesville (610) 383-6900

Coatesville Area Senior Center – (610) 383-6900 22 N. Fifth Ave., Coatesville – www.coatesvilleseniorcenter.org Monthly Veterans Coffee Hour – Call for date and time

Feb. 16, 6 p.m.

Family Caregiver Support Group Sunrise of Westtown 501 Skiles Blvd., West Chester (610) 399-4464

Coatesville Area Senior Center – (610) 383-6900 22 N. Fifth Ave., Coatesville – www.coatesvilleseniorcenter.org Monthly Veterans Coffee Hour – Call for date and time

Feb. 24, 6 p.m.

Living with Cancer Support Group Paoli Hospital Cancer Center 255 W. Lancaster Ave., Paoli (484) 565-1253

Kennett Area Senior Center – (610) 444-4819 427 S. Walnut St., Kennett Square – www.kennettseniorcenter.org Thursdays, 1 to 2 p.m. – Gentle Yoga Class Fe b. 4, 11, 18, 25, 9:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. – Free Medicare Counseling Session by Appointment Feb. 13, 6 to 10 p.m. – KASC Sweetheart Dance

Feb. 10, 1:30 p.m.

Family Caregiver Support Group Sarah Care 425 Technology Drive Suite 200, Malvern (610) 251-0801

Just a snippet of what you may be missing … please call or visit their website for more information.

Parks And Recreation Feb. 6, 9 to 10 a.m. – Resolution Hike, Nottingham County Park Feb. 13, 9 to 10 a.m. – Paws on the Path, Nottingham County Park

Community Programs Free and open to the public Feb. 2, 11:30 a.m.

West Chester University Retirees Luncheon For restaurant location, please email darsie@verizon.net Feb. 4, 7:30 p.m.

Compassionate Friends Valley Forge Chapter Good Shepherd Lutheran Church 132 E. Valley Forge Road, King of Prussia www.tcfvalleyforge.org Feb. 6 and 20, 5 to 10 p.m.

Bingo Night Marine Corps League Detachment 430 Chestnut St., Downingtown (610) 429-8174 Feb. 10, 12:10 to 1:10 p.m.

Golda Meir and the Rebirth of Israel – Part II Osher Lifelong Learning Institute Widener University – Exton Campus 825 Springdale Drive, Exton (484) 713-0088 www.widener.edu/OLLI

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February 2016

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Feb. 17, 12:10 to 1:10 p.m.

A Remarkable Civil War Survivor Osher Lifelong Learning Institute Widener University – Exton Campus 825 Springdale Drive, Exton (484) 713-0088 www.widener.edu/OLLI Feb. 24, 12:10 to 1:10 p.m.

Strategic Civic Engagement in Higher Education Osher Lifelong Learning Institute Widener University – Exton Campus 825 Springdale Drive, Exton (484) 713-0088 www.widener.edu/OLLI

If you have an event you would like to include, please email information to mjoyce@onlinepub.com for consideration.

Cooking Habits across the Globe The answer to “What’s for dinner?” frequently depends on who’s doing the cooking.

A survey by consumer research organization GfK looked at cooking habits around the world, gathering data from more than 27,000 people in 22 countries.

Here’s how much time is spent weekly on meal preparation in different parts of the world: • India: 13 hours • Ukraine: 13 hours • South Africa: nine hours • Indonesia: eight hours • Italy: seven hours • United States: five hours • South Korea: four hours

www.50plusLifePA.com

CCRC Continuing Care

Retirement Communities CCRCs offer a tiered approach to the aging process, accommodating residents’ unique and often changing needs.

Healthy adults entering a CRCC are able to live independently in a home, apartment, or condominium of their own within the community.

When assistance with everyday activities becomes necessary, they can move into personal care, assisted living, rehabilitation, or nursing care facilities. Some CCRCs have designated dementia areas within the community. These units address the progressing needs of people who have any form of dementia.

With a wealth of available resources, these communities give older adults the option to live in one location for the duration of their lives, with much of their future care already figured out — which equals both comfort and peace of mind.

Bethany Village

325 Wesley Drive Mechanicsburg, PA 17055 Stephanie Lightfoot Director of Sales & Marketing (717) 766-0279 www.bethanyvillage.org

Chapel Pointe at Carlisle

Cross Keys Village The Brethren Home Community

Homeland Center

The Middletown Home

Pleasant View Retirement Community

502 Elizabeth Drive Lancaster, PA 17601 Marlene Morris Marketing Director (717) 393-0711 www.calvaryhomes.org

Cornwall Manor

1 Boyd Street, P.O. Box 125 Cornwall, PA 17016 Jennifer Margut Director of Marketing (717) 274-8092 info@cornwallmanor.org www.cornwallmanor.org

770 South Hanover Street Carlisle, PA 17013 Linda Amsley Director of Marketing/Admissions (717) 249-1363 info@ChapelPointe.org www.ChapelPointe.org

2990 Carlisle Pike New Oxford, PA 17350 Amy Beste Senior Retirement Counselor (717) 624-5350 a.beste@crosskeysvillage.org www.crosskeysvillage.org

Homestead Village

999 West Harrisburg Pike Middletown, PA 17057 Andrea Henney Director of Residential Services (717) 944-3351 www.MiddletownHome.org

Enhanced Senior Living 1800 Marietta Avenue P.O. Box 3227 Lancaster, PA 17604-3227 Christina Gallagher Director of Marketing (717) 397-4831 ext. 158 www.homesteadvillage.org

St. Anne’s Retirement Community

Calvary Fellowship Homes

Serving from the Heart in the Spirit of Friendship, Love, and Truth

Willow Valley Communities

3952 Columbia Avenue West Hempfield Township, PA 17512 Mary Jo Diffendall Director of Marketing (717) 285-5443 mdiffendall@stannesrc.org www.StAnnesRC.org

600 Willow Valley Square Lancaster, PA 17602 Kristin Hambleton Director of Sales (717) 464-6800 (800) 770-5445 www.willowvalleycommunities.org

1901 North Fifth Street Harrisburg, PA 17102-1598 Barry S. Ramper II, N.H.A. President/CEO (717) 221-7902 www.homelandcenter.org

544 North Penryn Road Manheim, PA 17545 Amanda Hall Sales & Marketing Manager (717) 664-6207 ahall@pleasantviewrc.org www.pleasantviewrc.org

Woodcrest Villa Mennonite Home Communities 2001 Harrisburg Pike Lancaster, PA 17601 Connie Buckwalter Director of Marketing (717) 390-4126 www.woodcrestvilla.org

The CCRC Communities listed are sponsoring this message. This is not an all-inclusive list.

www.50plusLifePA.com

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The Bookworm Sez

Where We Belong: Journeys that Show Us the Way Terri Schlichenmeyer

You have to be somewhere today.

There’s no hurry or schedule to follow, but you must get there on time. You don’t have a map or itinerary and the destination might

be a surprise, but once you arrive, as happens in the new book Where We Belong by Hoda Kotb (with Jane Lorenzini), you’ll be in exactly the right place.

It’s natural: a turn of the calendar, and you’re feeling some inner restlessness. It’s OK to admit it, says Kotb: You sense that there’s more to life, and you yearn to find it. The

good news is that it’s never too late to start working toward that perfect spot in your world; in fact, here, Kotb introduces readers to people who did.

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Michelle Hauser grew up in Mason Lindley DeGarmo, the move away City, Iowa, living sometimes with from a sales career meant moving her mother and sometimes with her toward a job closer to his heart—and father. to his soul.

By age 10, she skillfully ran a So where’s your turning point? It household; at 12, she landed a paying won’t be identical to the ones you’ll job because she sensed a need for find inside Where We Belong, but self-sufficiency; at 14, she worked in a you’ll get a lot of inspiration just the restaurant, where her love of cooking same—you’ll also get a lot of same. was cemented.

Indeed, the stories She ultimately here are all very became a chef, but similar and, with throughout her life, one exception, she always harbored preexisting wealth a dream of being a shows up quite doctor. It would be often in the tales. even better if her That may turn a few two passions could readers off. unite …

And yet, who Craig Juntenen doesn’t struggle never wanted with New Year’s children and had resolutions? If taken steps to ensure you’ve made ’em, that it didn’t happen; then you probably his wife, Kathi, had do, and author Where We Belong: Journeys known about his Hoda Kotb (with That Show Us the Way tenets when they Jane Lorenzini) By Hoda Kotb with were dating, and she offers something Jane Lorenzini accepted them. here that’ll c.

2016, Simon & Schuster She was, therefore, energize you: true, 272 pages very surprised when encouraging stories.

Craig came home If those everyday after a golf outing and announced people can identify, find, and that he had an idea that ultimately accomplish life-changing goals, surely changed their lives and their family, you can, too. when two became five …

And so, in the end, I mostly Kay Abrahams grew up in the enjoyed Where We Belong. It’s a happy lap of luxury with everything she book, perhaps just what’s needed to wanted—except parental attention, start a year with myriad possibilities. which she longed for. Her parents And if you’re eager for that, then this loved her, that was a fact, but they book belongs in your hands. were busy with careers and had little time for her.

The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer.

Eventually, she fell into the same Terri has been reading since she was 3 situation, but a move halfway across years old and she never goes anywhere the country helped her find the without a book. She lives on a hill in “family” she needed.

Wisconsin with two dogs and 14,000 And for successful businessman books.

The Last Laugh “I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes, because I know I’m not dumb ... and I also know that I’m not blond.” – Dolly Parton “The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.” – Mark Russell

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Reach Active, Affluent Boomers & Seniors!

Reserve your space now for the 13th annual

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