The Ontarion - 184.5 by The Ontarion

184.5

FEB. 08, 2018

YOUR NEWSPAPER ESTABLISHED 1951

#MeToo PG. 20

SEXT ME L8r PG. 14

TINDER BINGO PG. 05

THE VAG INA MONOLOGUES PG. 22

I S SU E 18 4.5

| TA B LE O F CO NTE NT S

THE

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TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

Dating & Culture 4 4 5 6 6 7 7 8 9

Sexy times playlist A totally unbiased review of popular dating apps Tinder Bingo How to survive the sexual drought A single’s guide to surviving Valentine’s Say “I love you” Poem: Heart Maze I am sexy, not a fetish Editorial: MENstruation

Sex Ed & Sexuality 10 Sex in school: An analysis of the Catholic sex ed curriculum 11 How a love triangle could improve your relationship(s) 12 We Do Exist! Promotes LGBTQ+ social events and conversation about substance abuse 12 It’s okay to be a virgin 13 De-mystifying bisexuality 13 Asexuality is A-okay 16 Making love is good for your health and soul 16 Sex in other species: fun factoids 17 Are your sexual and mental health related? 17 Introduction to sexually transmitted infections 18 Should faculty-student relationships be allowed?

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Sex & the Serious 19 Does the media perpetuate the sexualization of women in politics? 19 Sexualizing young girls has to stop 20 U of G, #MeToo, and #TimesUp 21 Rape culture: It’s still a thing 21 Sexual violence is still an international problem 22 V-Day Guelph presents The Vagina Monologues and Grey

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DATING & CULTURE THE ONTARION

0 6 | S U RV I V I NG VA LE NTI NE’S

08 | ASIAN F ETISH

@ t h e ont ar i o n

A totally unbiased, not-at-all-salty review of five dating apps Online dating kind of sucks but here we go anyway | To my fellow Engine Grease cast members: you are incredibly talented individuals. Thank you for making our weekly rehearsals so much fun. I can’t wait to rock out our singing and dancing skills on stage together next month! ~Dutchie

I’VE GOT FIVE free dating apps on my phone.

Now that we’ve been introduced by one of our friends, we’ve hung out a few times. You are so fun. Turns out you like a lot of different foods, but you will always be eating jambalaya in my heart. ~Anonymus

Send your compliments, missed connections, and celebrations to onweb@uoguelph.ca by Monday at 12 p.m. to be featured in the following Thursday’s paper. 50 words or less. (Kindness only.)

PL AY LI S T

SEXY TIMES ;) “Special Affair” The Internet

“Yours” SG Lewis

“With Me” dvsn

“Focus” H.E.R.

“Primetime” Janelle Monae ft. Miguel

“Aquarius” Tinashe

“Confidently Lost” Sabrina Claudio

“Body” Syd

“Come and See Me” PARTYNEXTDOOR ft. Drake

“Japanese Denim” Daniel Caesar

I think they provide amusement and a wealth of mediocre small talk, but very little in the way of genuine connections that lead to good dates IRL. Still, it seems this is the way to go on dates these days, so if you’re looking to dip your toe in the cyber-water, here’s my opinion on five of these apps, in order from best to worst.

Bumble is like Tinder, but with a mildly feminist twist. The app shows pictures and a brief profile of internet suitors. You swipe right for yes and left for no. When a woman and a man match, the woman must send the first message within 24 hours. The man then has 24 hours to respond to the woman’s message. Once a connection is made, the two of you can have a conversation. If the people matching identify as the same gender then either can send the first message. Bumble also has the option to just find friends. Bumble sounds good on the surface. It certainly filters out all those unwanted first messages and pixelates photos received to minimize the chances of seeing an unsolicited dick pic. Does that mean it leads to good dates? Not really. The lack of information in the profiles and lack of any kind of filters besides distance and age means that connections are made superficially and rarely translate to a deeper connection based on similar lifestyles and personalities. Fun fact: Despite Bumble’s feminist rep, it’s also the only dating app on which I’ve ever received a dick pic, been called the c-word, and been told that a man’s ejaculate would cover my entire face.

TIND ER

Tinder is a phone app, and if you’re not sure how it works by now then I’m genuinely surprised. #respect. Basically, it’s like Bumble, but without the time limit of having to send messages to open up a connection. Tinder also lets you super swipe a match per day so they can see that you’ve expressed interest before they swipe. While I know of a few successful relationships that have started on Tinder, I think they’re the exception to the rule. I’m not sure exactly how well Tinder works as a hookup app (I do not hookup), but as a dating app it’s just a whole lot of no conversation that people are trying to turn sexy in a really awkward and not-at-all charming way. Does Tinder lead to good dates? It hasn’t led to enough dates for me to know. Fun fact: I did actually meet one great guy on Tinder and although that didn’t work out, it was a good enough experience to keep the app.

B U M B LE

O KC U P I D

OkCupid is both a phone app and a website. It’s recently made some major changes. Rather than getting messages from everyone, you now swipe through potential matches and see messages as you swipe. Profiles on OkCupid are extensive. Also, OkCupid uses multiple choice questions to help you connect with people who are similar on a deeper level. Does all this depth lead to good dates? Not really. The profiles and responses, which you can read through, are so extensive that by the time you end up on that first date, you already know everything about the other person — from their favourite movies and foods to their sexual history and political views. So, do you pretend you didn’t read all that stuff and repeat the information in person or do you actually not read all that stuff and risk missing what would clearly be a deal-breaker? Fun fact: Back when I first started online dating, OkCupid led to the most online conversations that turned into in-person dates.

M I R A L I A L M AU L A

P LE N T Y O F F I S H

Plenty of Fish is also both a phone app and website. It has profiles and has some matching capability based on common interests. Anyone can message you, anyone can also send you voice recordings — these are not necessarily bonuses. Plenty of Fish, true to its name, provides quantity. Does all that quantity lead to good dates? No. It does not. In my experience, I had nothing in common with my matches besides the fact that we were both single. Fun fact: This is the only website where I have seen multiple erect penises, not because they were sent to me in a message, but because they were the person’s profile picture. Pretty cocky guys, am I right?!

COF F EE M EETS BAG EL

Because what goes together better than a coffee and a bagel? Gee, I don’t know. A bunch of stuff? Coffee and sugar. Coffee and cream. Cream cheese and bagel. Coffee Meets Bagel is a phone app that attempts to emphasize quality over quantity by sending you just one match per day at lunchtime. Unfortunately, matches are based on your Facebook friends, and friends of friends, and so on, which really limits the pool of options, meaning that some days you get no match at all. But that’s okay, because you can then look through a bunch of random people who don’t fall under any of the filters you have set up. To pick more than one of these people you have to spend some “coffee beans.” Hopefully, someday they’ll match you too and you can finally say hello to each other. Once a match is made, however rarely that happens on CMB, a chat room opens up and you get to chat for nine days (or something like that) before it closes. The app recently (briefly) added a video function that has suitors record themselves answering a question of the day. The best part? There were no filters on whose videos you got to see. Maybe it’s just me, but as a straight 30-year-old woman who lives in Guelph, I’m not looking to date a 19-year-old woman who lives in Rochester, NY. But wait. There’s more. If I did see a nice video from a handsome local guy, I couldn’t actually start a conversation with him. Instead, I could “heart” the video and hope that maybe someday we’ll match so I’d finally be able to say: “Hey, cool video you posted six months ago.” The video function is not up right now (hopefully those responsible are on time out). Fun fact: This app has led to zero dates, and a deep feeling of irritation any time I see a bagel next to a cup of coffee.

I S SU E 18 4.5

TH E O NTA R I O N .CO M

| DATI N G & CU LTU R E

TINDER BINGO K AREN K . TRAN

Whatever your app of choice for online dating, whether it be Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, or something else, one common denominator remains: people. Of course, people are different, but they can also be the same. After just 10 minutes on a dating app, you might notice that many of the profiles exhibit a host of clichés. Why do so many people feel the need to advertise their height in their profile? Why do so many women pose with giant birthday balloons? Why do so many men have photos of them holding up fish? Feel free to build your own Bingo board and choose the rules to suit you and your group of friends. You can play together on one person’s dating profile and use separate Bingo boards, or everyone can use their own dating profile to play a Bingo board with the same spaces.

INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Decide

what prize the first player to score Bingo wins.

2. You

must swipe right at least once for every 10 profiles you browse.

3. Swipe

right on anyone you know personally.

4. Message

someone if you score a line of Bingo.

5. Super

like the next profile if you finish the board.

6. Ask

someone out if you run out of people in your area to swipe on.

Make your own!

only group photos

height in description

old photo with an ex

“420 friendly”

refers to a pet as their child

likes hiking

duck face

one surprisingly nice profile

“netflix and chill”

holding a gun

sends you a bad pickup line

clearly not over their past

snapchat filter

“seeking a third”

bathroom mirror selfie

inaccurate age

posing with a sedated tiger/lion

“seeking a third”

cheesy movie quote in description

selfie at the gym

is a musician

posing in front of a car

sports team photo

has bad tattoos

unsolicited sexual message

outdated formal photo

photo with birthday balloons

holding up a dead fish

picture of food

snapchat filter

cheesy quote in description

shirtless gym photo

asks how tall you are

“netflix and chill”

“no makeup”

one surprisingly nice profile

candid laughing photo

only group photos

traveling is my hobby

picture of food

“only swiped right for your pet”

bikini pic

gratuitous cleavage selfie

old photo with an ex

“follow me on insta”

loves baking

at da club photo

bathroom mirror selfie

DATI N G & CU LTU R E

FEB RUA RY 05, 2018

TH E O NTA R I O N

How to survive the drought

Sex might feel as important as water, but abstinence can allow you to channel energy elsewhere. | PHOTO COURTESY OF WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Sexual dry spells are a way to connect with self SOFIA MARINUCCI

SEX IS FUN; it’s also complicated. When you’re constantly sexually active, it becomes routine. But when you’re not having sex, it seems the longer you go without it, the deeper you dig your inescapable hole of solitude. The terms “ dry spell” and “drought” no doubt come with negative connotations related to the expectation that you should be

having sex consistently to maintain your sexual desirability. I find this is especially true for women, considering we often hear that it’s “easier for us” and that “we can have sex whenever we want.” This isn’t the case, and would we really want it to be? If we could have sex whenever we had the urge, it would take away the lust that makes it all so exciting. Periods of

“You may not have even noticed that it’s been months since you had any physical intimacy with another human being.” your life without sex can actually be quite beneficial. Reasons for sexual droughts vary from person to person. You could be experiencing a rough patch in your relationship, a breakup, or a dip in sex drive — or you may just have been single for a long time. Maybe you’re taking some personal time to focus on yourself. You may not have even noticed that it’s been months since you had any physical intimacy with another human being. Either way, these times don’t always have to be bad. For some, abstaining from sex can make it better in the long run when it finally comes around again. I take advantage of this time

alone. Sex can be really distracting and I find myself thinking about it all the time: When am I going to have it next? Where is it going to be? Who is it going to be with? It’s all-consuming, and these feelings of lust and desire give you tunnel vision, preventing you from thinking clearly. Abstaining from sex allows me to really get introspective and creative. It also allows me to focus on my mental and sexual health, by taking the time to get tested for STIs for example (something super easy to do on campus through Health Services). There are many ways to deal with a sexual drought. You can channel your sexual energy into

chocolate, and put on a movie. Revel in the fact that you have a whole pizza all to yourself.

A SINGLE’S GUIDE TO SURVIVING VALENTINE’S DAY

BORROW A D OG

If you have a friend with a dog, capitalize on that. Dogs will love you, even when no one else will, and if that friend is stuck going to a Valentine’s Day dinner, offer to pet sit for them and get some quality cuddling time in. Eating your feelings also becomes significantly less depressing if you have a dog to pet.

It’s just another day of the year, friends C AT C O O P E R

WE ALL SEE IT COMING. From the shelves upon shelves of red and pink chocolates and kitschy gifts, to the hundreds of emails pouring in from retailers announcing Valentine’s Day sales. If you’re in a relationship, it’s likely that these kinds of things don’t really bother you, but to those of us who are single, it can feel like getting repeatedly slapped in the face by an angry pink goblin. It’s tempting to put on a brave face and laugh it off, but why suffer when you can kick that goblin right in his smug little face? EM B RAC E T H E S I N G L E N ES S

Wik iHow suggests “ loving yourself,” and “celebrating your singleness,” but I think that

laughing at all the other people spending way too much money on gifts is way more rewarding than focusing on yourself. Take some time to look at your bank balance. Even if you only have 12 dollars to your name, at least you know that that 12 dollars is yours, and you will get to spend it on discounted Valentine’s Day chocolate. S P E N D S O ME QUAL ITY T IM E W IT H YOUR FRIE NDS

If you’re bummed about being single, there’s nothing better for the soul than spending some uncomplicated quality time with your friends, either one on one or en masse. Make sure they’re single too though, cause if they’re not, it could be awkward.

other things like working out, recreational sports, eating right, or studying. If you’re just lacking general excitement, Tinder is an easy way to achieve immediate gratification and feel a boost in confidence. Going to parties is another way to have a good time and meet other people looking for hookups. If putting yourself out there isn’t your thing, stay in and treat yourself. Give yourself a break and let your body relax from all the shaving, waxing, moisturizing, and tweezing you may just be doing for others. Take this time to find out what you really like and what you don’t, without the awkward interference of another person in the mix. Spending intimate time with yourself could leave you feeling more satisfied than you would after a mediocre hookup. Try out different toys, new techniques, explore your body — get to know yourself better sexually and personally. Becoming more in tune with your body can make sex with someone else even more enjoyable the next time it comes around. Just remember: sex is completely and utterly independent of self-worth and values. Dry spells are not the end of the world, and no matter how long it feels, they do not last forever. There are a million things better than sex, anyway: a good night’s sleep, an untouched jar of Nutella, pullthrough parking spots, lasagna, warm socks…

SEN D YOURSELF MAI L

Spending Valentine’s Day alone means getting really weird with no one to judge you. | PHOTO BY KAREN K. TRAN

PRACTIC E BE ING ALO NE

In the movie How to Be Single, the newly alone protagonist passes on some good advice: take this opportunity to practice being alone. You aren’t bogged down by a relationship, so take this time for you! Go for a walk, read your

favourite book, grab that slice of cake you’ve been eyeing, or make a giant ice cream sundae. There’s no one around to judge. E AT YOUR FEELI N GS

Order a pizza, buy a bottle of whatever you prefer, maybe some

Everyone likes getting stuff in the mail, and Thought Catalog suggests you send yourself a card. It’s fun, fairly cheap, and you can feel like someone cares about you. Remember not to put your return address on the envelope though, or the postal worker will judge you. Get Tinder. Again. You know you want to.

I S SU E 18 4.5

TH E O NTA R I O N .CO M

| DATI N G & CU LTU R E

PI E C E S O F M E

Heart Maze FAT I M A B U E L A

A heart is a maze Trailed with emotions Beauteous and fair Dangerous if you dare The goddess of love And the god of war Had a tempestuous love affair Be wary of stealthy Cupid Although his arrow sharp Aims smooth and steady as a harp Once struck there’s no going back On the love that keeps you intact Golden arrow possesses true love Steel arrow possesses discrepancy Before you know it Every turn transforms happiness Into darkest corners of loneliness The Fates’ thread of life Sewn onto a lover’s kiss So beware the maze of your heart For those who enter Will surely fall apart “I love you” are three of the most powerful words in the English language. Only use them when it feels right. PHOTO COURTESY OF CONNER WELLS

Say “I love you” The right time to drop the “L” word is different for everybody O D E S I A H OW L E T T

“I LOVE YOU” can be a daunting phrase to say. Can you say it when you’re still just beginning to date, or only when you’re established partners? How early into the relationship are you allowed to say it? What if they don’t say it back? The answer to all of this is: say it when you mean it. If you are the type of person who falls in love quickly, then don’t feel shy to tell your partner you love them. If you are in a longterm relationship and still haven’t said it, that’s also fine, as long as you are honest about your feelings. Many people believe that love is an independent journey; something you have to know in yourself before you say it to your partner. But I believe every good relationship has conversation. Why do our conversations around love only start when we’re definitely, absolutely, 100 per cent in love? Ten months into my own relationship, I told my partner that I didn’t know if I was in love with her; so she told me she was in love with me. Although that

It was a different feeling and it took time for me to put a label on it and understand that it was still love. conversation was uncomfortable for the both of us, she did not pressure me into saying that I loved her too. It wasn’t until a month and a half later that I was able to say it. We were a few weeks shy of our one-year anniversary. There does not need to be a rush to feel things you may not feel. Being honest with yourself,

your partner, and your feelings is important. And it’s incredibly important to know that love doesn’t feel the same way for everyone. One of the reasons it took me so long to tell my own partner was because it didn’t feel like the intense high school crush I had before. Nor did it feel like the love I had for my best friend, or my family. It was a different feeling and it took time for me to put a label on it and understand that it was still love. But patience is a virtue and having patience with your partner will not go unrecognized. With minimal stress on the idea of love, you will be able to come to the conclusion on your own, understanding your own feelings. Falling in love is a very intense and different experience for everyone. Find the right partner and, when you’re ready, tell them those three special words: “I love you.”

ILLUSTRATION BY ALEX ENG

’s Top Ten Albums B IRD CIT Y** Winnowing (Label Fantastic/Coax) L U K A* What Kind of Animal (Self-Released) ASHLEY CONDON* Can You Hear Me (Self-Released) BORN RUFFIANS Uncle, Duke & The Chief (Paper Bag) BREEZE* Record (Hand Drawn Dracula) ELAN NOON* Have A Spirit Filled (Self-Released) MUT T** Power-Up (Self-Released) E RIC CHE NAUX* Slowly Paradise (Constellation) KHRUAN G B IN Con Todo El Mundo (Dead Oceans) BR AD DE ROO** Brad de Roo’s Chimeras of Decline (Self-Released) *C A N A D I A N A R T I S T

* * LO C A L A R T I S T

W W W. C F R U . C A

DATI N G & CU LTU R E

FEB RUA RY 05, 2018

I am sexy, not a fetish A Chinese ho reflects on the history and problems of the Asian obsession N ATA L I E T H I E N

IT IS ONE of the most common fetishes in Western culture: “yellow fever,” a kind of fetish for Asian women. In Pornhub’s recent 2017 Year in Review, “Asian” ranked as the 11th most popular search for Canadian viewers, and Canadians viewed 58 per cent more Asian porn than the worldwide average. The sex industry is no doubt a lucrative field for Asian women. Back in 2013, researchers took data from the Facebook app “Are You Interested” and found Asian women to be the most sought after ethnic group in online dating. As a woman of Chinese descent and an avid user of dating apps like Tinder, I am not going to lie — this fetish helps in terms of hookups and finding a date. Most of the best sex I have ever had was with men who admitted to having a “liking” for Asian women or “always wanted to be with an Asian woman.” The way they wooed my body with foreplay and attention…. It is hard not to take it as a major ego boost. At the same time, the idea that they “always wanted to be with an Asian woman” did not resonate well with me. It felt like I was being objectified, like I was an exotic box for them to tick off. Two men I hooked up with were both eager to have me as their “first Asian experience,” and thought it was appropriate to ask if they could continue sleeping with me on the side while dating another woman. As if I was good enough to fulfill their sexual fantasies and vent to when their date would not put out, but not good enough to settle down with. To my horror, I had men who would ask if they were able to satisfy me better than my “own men.” Like, don’t even think of using me to degrade Asian men and stroke your fragile ego! A friend of mine told me about a white man she knew who only ever dated Asian women. He openly admitted that it was because he thought them to be more docile and easier to control. This stereotype of the Asian woman as submissive and disposable stems from a dark part of history. It goes back to early writings like Loti’s Madame Chrysanthème (1887) and Long’s Madame Butterfly (1898). Both portray a white male protagonist taking an Asian woman as a “temporary bride.” It goes back to America’s military presence in Japan, Korea, and Vietnam. During World War Two, up to 200,000 women from across Asia were trafficked by the Japanese military and forced to work as prostitutes — they were known as “comfort women.” Following the war, the U.S. military took over some of these “comfort stations,” and

the practice continued throughout the Korean War and Vietnam War. In 1965, 85 per cent of American soldiers reported contact with a prostitute. Given this history, it is no surprise that Asian women are still seen as submissive sex objects by the western male gaze. Of course, it is not fair to equate interracial sex and dating to the horrific trauma “comfort women” faced. I am merely pointing out that these stereotypes and fetishes do not arise out of nowhere. In my opinion, based on my past experiences and my current experience dating a white man, a little bit of fetish is fine, as long as you’re not bashing other ethnicities in the process and “preferring” one over the other. This kind of interest can provide intense sexual attraction and chemistry, which helps in having good sex. And it is possible to have a healthy, loving relationship that started off as a small fetish. I have not met one long-term interracial couple or pair of sex partners who did not make light jokes centering around these topics.

PHOTO COURTESY OF AMAZON

It’s fine as long as you are sure of a few things:

1 2

That you are mature enough to not reduce your partner to racial stereotypes.

That you know your partner is a complex, three-dimensional person who deserves to be treated as such.

3 4

That the reason for you dating them is not based solely on their ethnicity.

That you don’t obsessively define them by their heritage, and make the effort to get to know their individual character.

That your daily conversations are not about how it’s so hot that you have an Asian girlfriend.

As long as this fetish stays in the bedroom, all is well.

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EDITORIAL

THE ONTARION

Not all men think periods are gross. PHOTO COURTESY OF TUMBLR

IN A CONVERSATION with a

friend the other day, I brought up the well-agreed-upon-by-youngwomen fact that men should have to listen to us complain about our periods without making us feel uncomfortable for it. It’s not the first time I’ve brought this up — it comes up, interestingly enough, around the same time of the month. Why should women have to cover up our periods just to make men comfortable, when we’re the ones who have to deal with it? Why can’t I just yell about my period without worrying about what men think? Why can a man watch a two-hourlong movie with blood and gore, but cringe when I mention the blood coming out of my vagina? My most recent conversation about this topic turned out to be a bit different, however, as some of the guys around us piped up and mentioned that period talk didn’t bother them. My first instinct was to roll my eyes at the #NotAllMen narrative, but then I took a step back and got to thinking… maybe they were being genuine? Is it possible that there has been a positive shift in the right direction here? According to Metro UK, as far back as ancient Rome, women who had periods were considered to be “dark witches.” In Pliny the Elder’s Natural History, he claimed that women who bled could kill bees and even stop hailstorms. In both the Bible and the Quran, women who are menstruating are considered unclean and unable to even be touched. According to Janice Delaney, Mary Jane Lupton, and Emily Toth’s book The Curse: A Cultural History of Menstruation, the French used to believe that having sex while on your period would create blood monsters. In the 1920s, scientist Bela Schick claimed that women

The Ontarion Inc.

MEN struation

Are guys in North America

cooler with periods than we think? LESLIE THOMPSON

who were menstruating released toxins that could kill crops. Even today, in certain parts of the world, women who are menstruating are sent away to huts to deal with it alone, while others are not allowed to sleep in the same bed as their husband for fear of “infecting” him. It seems the fear and subsequent taboo around menstruation is evident around the world. So is this really still the case in

21st century North America? Feeling curious, I conducted a bit of “scientific” research this past week. I asked a bunch of guys I know the same direct, simple question: Does it make you uncomfortable when women talk about their periods around you?

These are guys from all different backgrounds, ages, and disciplines.

And I’ll be honest — it really shocked me how easily the answer seemed to come to them. “No,” said Guy #1 (history major). “There are ways to talk about anything and make it uncomfortable, even something mundane. But I’ve never been in a situation where a woman is trying to make me feel uncomfortable, and there is nothing inherently wrong in talking about menstruation.” (My first reaction

D I S C L A I M E R : I know some people who get periods don’t feel comfortable talking about these sorts of things with anyone, and that’s fine. My hope is that you learn to embrace what your body is doing because even though it sucks, it’s a part of us and it’s happening. If you don’t want to scream it from the rooftops, that’s fine — but you should be able to talk about it with those close to you. My conclusion here is that if people you’re seeing make you feel bad for talking about your period, their going to have to learn to deal with it. If they can’t, they’ve gotta go. It’s your body, and if they want some of it — they have to deal with all of it.

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to this answer was: “He said menstruation and didn’t even flinch!” One for one!) “I don’t,” said Guy #2 (geography major), though he admitted that most of his friends seem to. “It seems pretty immature to get uncomfortable about something so common and normal.” (We are two for two, folks!) Guy #3 (history major): “I would say that I’m not uncomfortable with the topic of periods, but I could see myself getting uncomfortable if someone I didn’t know well brought it up.” (I still count that as a win. Three for three.) “Nope! They can go wild,” said Guy #4 (human kinetics major). “It’s not uncomfortable, for sure.” (Four for four? We are WINNING!) Guy #5 (history master’s) hit me with a simple: “No.” When pressed further, he simply said, “Because it’s a normal thing, I guess?” (Five for five. Nice.) Conclusion: there’s a bit of discomfort here, but it appears that most of my guy friends, at least, don’t seem to have as much of an issue as I thought they did. So maybe it’s time I admit that I’m semi-wrong about this. The more I think and talk about it, the more I realize it’s mostly older men I have to be “careful” around when talking about my period — and it’s actually often the older women in my life who are reminding me of it. More often than not, it’s my mom or my grandma telling me to not talk about it. It’s not their fault, it’s just how things were for them growing up, the way it’s been for years. It’s generational, as are most things that us millenials are slowly learning to discuss. The good news here is that it appears that men of this new age aren’t all wimps when it comes to period blood.

The Ontarion is a non-profit organization governed by a Board of Directors. Since The Ontarion undertakes the publishing of student work, the opinions expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect those of The Ontarion staff and Board of Directors. The Ontarion reserves the right to edit or refuse all material deemed sexist, racist, homophobic, or otherwise unfit for publication as determined by the Editor-in-Chief. Material of any form appearing in this newspaper is copyrighted 2017 and cannot be reprinted without the approval of the Editor-in-Chief. The Ontarion retains the right of first publication on all material. In the event that an advertiser is not satisfied with an advertisement in the newspaper, they must notify The Ontarion within four working days of publication. The Ontarion will not be held responsible for advertising mistakes beyond the cost of advertisement. The Ontarion is printed by Hamilton Web.

SEX ED & SEXUALITY THE ONTARION

1 2 | W E DO E XI ST!

1 3 | BISEXUALITY MYTHS

@t h e ont ar i o n

A Catholic school board sexual education is controversial for the emphasis on abstinence, which is proven to have a lack of efficacy. | PHOTO COURTESY OF FLICKR

Sex in school: An analysis of the Catholic sex ed curriculum Is all publicly funded sexual education equal? A R I A N A LO N G L E Y

EVERY TIME I mention that I

went to a Catholic school for 12 years, people seem to pity me. These people generally have two assumptions about us Catholic school kids:

1. We 2. We

weren’t taught evolution. didn’t have good sexual education.

I can promise you that we were taught evolution, but I don’t recall most of my sexual education classes past grade eight. The only parts I remember are a lot of discussions about STIs and that the boys’ health class got to watch the birthing video, but the girls’ class didn’t. To s up ple me nt my f a d e d memory, I decided to research the Catholic school system’s sexual education curriculum and compare it to the public school system’s. Turns out, the sex ed curriculum for Ontario was updated in 2015, so I wasn’t able to find any guidelines from when I was in eighth grade in 2008. I’m sure it’s out there somewhere, but I couldn’t find it. The main changes introduced in 2015 included instructing about consent, sexting, transgenderism, and teaching everything a grade earlier. The rest seemed pretty much untouched.

The textbook used for sex ed in Catholic schools. PHOTO COURTESY OF MEDIA COMMONS

On the Toronto Catholic District School Board website, it says that Catholic schools follow the sexual education curriculum set out by the provincial government, but they teach it “through the lens of the Catholic faith.” What does ‘through the lens of the Catholic faith’ mean exactly? I asked myself this question as I started to read the public and Catholic grade eight sexual education teacher’s manuals. Shortly afterwards, I discovered that the Ontario curriculum discusses condoms, methods of safe sex, and holding off on sex until you’re ready. The Catholic modifications, written in association with the Catholic Bishops of Ontario, also touch on condom use, but mainly on how they are not 100 per cent effective.

The Catholic curriculum states that the only effective way to avoid STIs and pregnancy is to abstain from sex until marriage, and that straying from this plan made by God “may put us at risk for physical, social, and emotional harm.” The manual then goes into great detail about the “natural” family planning method, which they say is a method married couples can use to plan around the woman’s fertility cycle when deciding to get pregnant. The Catholic high school curriculum adds that masturbation should also be abstained from, classifying it as a “depersonalizing behaviour” and not in line with procreation. This follows the criteria of “purity” or abstinenceonly education, a type of sexual education that discusses the merits of abstinence while delegitimizing other forms of contraception. Not only does the “threat of physical, emotional, and social harm” terrify children and make them feel guilty about their sexuality and human urges, abstinence-only programs don’t seem to work. Studies have shown that these programs don’t affect the age at which kids decide to have sex, but rather lead to increased rates of teen pregnancy because of the lack of information that is provided on contraceptives and safe sex. When discussing homosexual relations, the manual refers teachers to a section within the Catechism of the Catholic Church entitled Chastity and Homosexuality, which states that “[homosexuals] must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity... [However] they are contrary to the natural law [and]

under no circumstances can they be approved.” I had the chance to speak with a Catholic high school teacher to ask his opinion on the subject. He asked to be referred to as Edward Smith in this article. Smith told me the story of how a 10th grade field trip to see the movie The Imitation Game — which is based on the true story of Alan Turing during World War II — was suddenly canceled after a member of the school trustee board found out that the movie contains scenes of Turing discussing his homosexuality and kissing a man. Smith says that many of the teachers in his school are progressive and disagree with many of the Catholic school moral

guidelines. For that reason, some may forego teaching some of the harmful lessons about sex and homosexuality, or share their own opinion in conjunction with the material. This may open a forum for students to further explore their own opinions on morals around sex and sexuality. I’m glad I went to a Catholic school and I’m thankful I had to take religion classes that gave me insight into Catholicism and other world religions. However, if your child attends a Catholic school, you might want to talk to them about sexuality and supplement the sexual education (or lack thereof) that they are receiving from the Ontario Catholic school system.

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rying to sift through and identify what we need and want can be extremely challenging. This task can be made all the more fraught when we consider talking — actually communicating — about these needs and wants with another person. Have you ever thought, “I don’t know what I want, but this is not it!” Or been frustrated because you don’t know how to talk about what you want? Yeah? Me too. Often. So I have a suggestion: make your very own love triangle! Hear me out. Over the last three years, I have facilitated dozens of workshops with local high school and middle school classes, as well as University of Guelph students. These workshops have focused on sexual health education and being able to identify and communicate our wants and our needs. Which brings me to the love triangle activity. I’ve facilitated this activity informally with friends too, because I think it is simple and very useful. I consistently get positive feedback from people who take this skill into their personal lives and find it valuable. To be clear, I did not come up with this activity, and I don’t know where it originates, so I can’t truly give credit where credit is due. My exposure to it came from participation in the Guelph faction of a volunteer program called Project Serve Reading Week. Here it is in six easy steps. You’ll need paper and a pen.

| S E X E D & S E X UA LIT Y

HOW A LOVE TRIANGLE COULD IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP(S)

workshop was from a young student who chose “a moonlit picnic.” Get creative, get silly, get kinky, and dream big! A bonus is the cherry on top of the relationship you are focused on for your love triangle. Write your chosen bonus into the top section (the only section still empty).

STE P 6

TI P S TO S H A R E YO U R FEELI N G S

(And this is likely not the kind of love triangle you’re imagining!)

I truly encourage you to consider sharing the love triangle you made. If you were focusing on a particular relationship between you and someone else, can you find the courage to show them what you wrote down? Having this visual reference can be wildly helpful for you and the person you speak with. Maybe the relationship you thought of includes multiple people and you could share it with each of them. Discussions about feelings are confusing, so why not use visual aids? Perhaps you prefer to keep it private for now, and store it in your journal or put it on your bedroom wall for personal reference.

SOPHIE CLARK

Regardless of whether or not you choose to share your love triangle, here are some things to consider:

STE P 1

LE T ’ S TR I A N G U L ATE Use the triangle in this article.

STE P 2 FO CUS

Before you fill the pyramid, you need to decide what your focus is going to be. What relationship do you want to work on with this activity? In my experience, the activity benefits from choosing something specific, which could be a romantic or sexual relationship, a particular friendship, your relationship with a sibling or parent, some other important connection in your life with another person, or even your relationship with yourself! You can also zero in on a specific aspect of a given relationship, such as sex or communication. If you have a good imagination (and are optimistic), you could consider focusing on a type of relationship that you want to have, but which is not a present reality. Pick something and go for it.

STE P 3

W H AT D O YO U N EED? Time to dig in and answer some or all of the following questions: • What would I call the foundation of this relationship? • W hat wou ld I consider a deal-breaker? • For me, what is non-negotiable about this relationship? • How do I need to be treated to feel proud of this relationship? I don’t want to influence you, but some common needs I’ve observed in this activity include trust, respect, consent, friendship, honestly, affection, and time together. Think only about yourself when you answer these questions. Try to settle on at least three needs that you can write into the three base sections.

STE P 4

W H AT YO U WA NT To identify your wants, try to fill in the blanks below: • If [blank] was never present in this relationship, I would be upset. • I would ask for [blank] in this relationship, but be willing to negotiate. • I might miss [blank] in this relationship if it wasn’t present. • I’m uncertain about whether this relationship can succeed without [blank]. Choose at least two wants that you can write in the two middle sections of your love triangle. Note that some of the examples of needs I mentioned above might feel like wants to you. And that’s okay!

Common choices I have observed are humour, physical touch, and similar interests. The more specific you can be, the better.

STE P 5

B O N US RO U N D ! The top of the pyramid is your bonus section. To identify a bonus, consider the questions below: • What would be a wonderful treat in this relationship? • What would be the best surprise in this relationship? • What is my favourite luxury? • What have I been curious to try recently? • What would I not ask for, but be thrilled to experience, in this relationship? A memorable response I got to this bonus section during a

• Acknowledge that the needs you wrote down are needs for YOU, your needs are not equivalent to your rights. You are not entitled to a need like “sex,” but you can demand a need like “respect.” • Consider asking the people with whom you share important relationships to make their own love triangles, and then do a “pair and share” session where you discuss the similarities and differences. This could be a rad way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. • If you observe a significant divide between your love triangle and the reality of the relationship you were focused on, allow yourself to explore that discomfort and possible disappointment. Consider if sharing this love triangle with someone else could be a useful way for you to move forward. Can the love triangle give you some direction on how to improve things? Is it time to let this relationship go? • If you do this activity more than once for a given relationship, notice how your choice of needs, wants, and bonuses may change and understand that this is consistent with the dynamic nature of relationships. If you make it through all six steps — or even just the first five — congratulations! Creating a love triangle can be demanding emotional work and you endured.

S E X E D & S E X UA LIT Y |

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We Do Exist! promotes LGBTQ+ social events and conversation about substance abuse Event aims to establish more substance-free programming FIONA CASHELL

ON FRIDAY, FEB. 2, an event called We Do Exist! took place as part of Guelph’s Winter Pride festivities. Presented on behalf of HIV/AIDS Resources & Community Health (ARCH), the event was focussed on creating a dialogue around substance use as a central part of pride events, and aimed at creating a safe space for those who choose not to partake in drinking alcohol. The event was a collaborative effor t between several members of the community. Emma Callon originally brought the idea forward to Jasper Smith, the education coordinator at ARCH. “I started noticing that, in general, there are gaps in [addictions] services for the community,” Callon said. A s A RCH designs prog ra mming a round L GBT Q+ communities, as well as harm reduction strategies, they decided that they would be the right fit to present the program. “We know that LGBTQ+ [folks] have elevated rates of substance

A lot of pride programming is also centered around drugs and alcohol, such as bar nights or club nights, and there aren’t a lot of places for people who don’t partake or are trying to partake less in those activities while still being part of the community. Campus group hopes to improve awareness about lack of substance-free LGBTQ+ events | PHOTO COURTESY OF ARCH

use, for a variety of reasons. We also know that they are seeking out treatment more often than their heterosexual peers, but are dropping out of these programs because of maltreatment, harassment, or outright violence,” Smith explained. “At ARCH, when we run programs, we try and find people within those specific communities too. When Emma came to us with this idea, we thought it was

great, but needed to find people who had done this sort of work before,” Smith said. In order to reach this goal, the two teamed up with Cory Gillies, the youth outreach coordinator at ARCH, and Jennifer Mackenzie, who runs a youth addictions group, as well as an LGBTQ+ group through Wyndham House downtown. “A lot of pride programming is also centered around drugs and

alcohol, such as bar nights or club nights, and there aren’t a lot of places for people who don’t partake or are trying to partake less in those activities while still being part of the community,” Smith said. “So, this was a way to start that conversation.” While the event as of now is a one-off occasion, the organizers hope that what they learned from participants will help to shape programming in the future. They intend to evaluate the information gathered from the event in order to create community-driven

future initiatives. “We want to see what is needed, where it’s needed, when it’s needed, and what the participants want to see in their community,” Gillies said. T h o s e w h o we re u n a b l e to attend the event, but wish to become a part of possible future programming, are encouraged to reach out to Cory Gillies at youth@archguelph.ca

IT’S OKAY TO BE A VIRGIN The only tip for students: take your time O D E S I A H OW L E T T

BEING A VIRGIN in university can

be stressful. First year, especially in residence, seems to be a time for people to go on what can feel like sex-rampages. All parties seem to end in sex, people are partnering up, and then the infamous Turkey Dump comes in a whirlwind. Navigating through estrogenand testosterone-filled waters can be challenging. You may feel left behind if you want to have sex, but haven’t found a partner, or are called a “prude” for not wanting to sexually connect with people. Other things can be more important at this time in your life, such as grades, a social life, getting involved in extracurricular activities, work, etc. I understand. If there’s one thing I can tell you, it would be to take your time. Hearing someone say “you’ll find the right person” can be

almost as annoying as “you’re a virgin?!” And honestly, you might not find the “right person” in first year. Or second year. Or third. So just take your time. Being pressured into sex (by your own idealization of societal norms) will make your first time even worse. Yes, even worse. Because it’s going to be terrible the first time. You won’t know where to put your legs, they might accidentally knee you in the side, and it will not feel as good as you hope. Most people’s first time is horrible. But it will get better with time. Explore your body. Masturbate! Love your body. Make noises. Bring in a pillow, sock, or anything that causes friction. Buy a sex toy. Find out what feels good for you. And then when/if you invite a partner into your sex life, you will know what feels the best, and you

ART BY ALORA GRIFFITHS

can tell them (pro tip: telling your partner what you want in bed is very hot). If you find you are not into masturbation or even wanting to have sex with another person, that’s a great discovery, too! You might be on the asexuality scale. Learning about yourself is healthy and you’ll feel empowered to know what you want and don’t want. Ultimately, university is a time for exploration. You may be

straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, asexual, polysexual, polyromantic, biromantic, monogamous, polyamorous, or anything in between. Follow your heart and see where it takes you. I should know: I got together with my girlfriend in fourth year and shared my first sexual experience with her. We will be celebrating our three-year anniversary in March.

Ultimately, university is a time for exploration. You may be straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, asexual, polysexual, polyromantic, biromantic, monogamous, polyamorous, or anything in between. Follow your heart and see where it takes you.

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| S E X E D & S E X UA LIT Y

Asexuality is A-okay An exploration of asexuality TA S H A FA LC O N E R

Bisexuality is often misunderstood and misrepresented by media, but the truth is every individual is different. PHOTO COURTESY OF WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

De-mystifying bisexuality Busting some bisexuality myths M E G A N S U L L I VA N

I NEVER REALLY came out as

bisexual. I started dating men and then started dating women — it was that simple for me. But for some people, understanding my sexual preferences wasn’t that simple. People were suddenly asking me how I sexually identified, which is pretty damn complicated to do when you don’t necessarily know the answer to that question yourself! On top of the pressure I felt to fit into a particular mould, I had heard all of these negative stereotypes about what it meant to be bisexual — not very encouraging for a 20-year-old who’s already struggling to find an identity. And it becomes even more discouraging for folks who already face racial, gender, and/or other socially constructed barriers. Let’s try to bust some of those negative “myths.”

MYTH #1: BISEXUAL FOLKS ARE GREEDY FOR LOVE AND ATTENTION

Busted: Just as straight folks have certain romantic and sexual preferences, bi folks have individual preferences and needs that need to be met. Bisexuals aren’t out to date, or sleep with, anyone and everyone on the face of the planet. MYTH #2: BISEXUAL FOLKS CAN’T BE IN A LONG-TERM, MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP

Busted: When any individual

enters into a long-term relationship, monogamous or not, they’re choosing to make sacrifices for their partner. Whether that be having to share a “comfortable for just one person” bed at night or having to wait to use the bathroom in the morning even though we really, really have to pee. We give certain things up for the people we love, and that’s okay! In fact, it’s pretty incredible. So when bisexual folks consent to being in a long-term, monogamous relationship, they may be giving up “the opposite gender,” but they’re getting so much more in return from their partner. MYTH #3: BISEXUAL FOLKS ARE ACTUALLY JUST GAY, BUT ARE TOO AFRAID TO COME OUT

Busted: Being bisexual doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s a 50/50 split when it comes to being attracted to men and women. Some bi folks may prefer to date men, but also enjoy dating women, and vice versa. There is no secret formula for sexual chemistry and attraction, although sometimes we wish there were. And sometimes, we don’t yet know what our sexual preferences are — and that’s okay. While identifying as bisexual can feel right at one point in time, a person may come to realize or decide that identifying as gay or queer better describes their orientation later on. And if you think you know

somebody that is bisexual, but may still be “in the closet,” the best thing you can do is listen and be supportive, even if you don’t fully understand. MYTH #4: BISEXUAL FOLKS ARE JUST EXPERIMENTING

Busted: As Elena Novak of Everyday Feminism puts it, “the problem with associating this [experimental] phase with bisexuality — aside from the fact that assuming that this is a phase that all people actually go through — is that it is incredibly demeaning to those who are bisexual, those who are earnestly seeking a loving relationship with someone regardless of gender.” You don’t hear people question how straight people figured out they were straight, or how they really know they’re attracted to the opposite sex, so it doesn’t make much sense to do the same for bisexual folks. If you’re looking for more information on bisexuality, or are in need of support, Guelph has a ton of resources that are worth checking out! • The University of Guelph offers an anonymous service called OUTline that you can reach in the evenings, as well as an office you can visit in UC 270. • Out on the Shelf, a program run in partnership with the City of Guelph, has a library and tons of resources for the LGBTQ+ community that you can visit downtown at 10 Carden St. • As well, Guelph Pride will be celebrating its 15th anniversary this coming Spring — learn more at guelphpride.com

Asexuality is often misunderstood and is vastly underrepresented in media. | PHOTO COURTESY OF WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

A S E X U A L I T Y is a sexual orientation that the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) defines as “a person who does not experience sexual attraction.” This means that people who are asexual do not desire to have sexual contact with others. A person who is asexual is not to be confused with someone who is aromantic or someone who is celibate. Someone who is aromantic does not experience romantic attraction. People of any sexual orientation can be aromantic. And celibacy is the choice to abstain from sexual interactions. Asexuality is often misunderstood. Some perceptions of asexuality include that asexuals have different emotional needs, are late bloomers, are frigid or broken, or that their lack of sexual attraction is a phase. None of these perceptions are accurate. It is also inaccurate to say that people who are asexual just have low sexual desire. Although asexual people do not experience sexual attraction, some do still engage in sexual activity with a partner or alone, but the frequency tends to be low. The reasons that asexuals engage in sexual activity is generally not sexual, but instead may be to please a partner or as a way to relax. Sexuality research has often left out those who identify as asexual. Alfred Kinsey identified asexual people in his research in the 1940s and 1950s, but did not include the category when creating his sexual orientation scale — the Kinsey Scale. In 1979, Michael Storms created a model of sexuality that

included asexuality. Other models of sexuality have been created since then, often trying to include various aspects of sexuality, such as attraction, identity, behaviour, and variability, but these models often leave out asexuality. More recent resea rch, however, has started to investigate asexuality. Dr. Anthony Bogaert at Brock University has played a large role in this area. In 2004, Bogaert published a paper on asexuality, and has been working in the area ever since. Bogaert found that approximately one per cent of the British population is asexual, with more women than men being asexual. He found many factors related to asexuality that indicated both biological and psychosocial components.

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Sext me l8r

And when you get that feeling, you want textual healing TA S H A FA LC O N E R

Kisses and peaches and eggplants, oh my! Emojis and emoticons help people communicate. The 2015 Singles in America survey by Match found the top three reasons for using emojis were: 1. To give their messages more personality 2. To express their emotions more clearly 3. For convenience, as they are faster and easier to use

;) vs Emoticons and emojis are often interchanged, but they are still distinct from one another.

â&#x20AC;˘ Emoticons involve the use of punctuation to create

pictures, which are often faces.

â&#x20AC;˘ Emojis are bright, graphic images.

The Singles in America survey found that singles who use emojis or emoticons are more likely to want to get married and want a partner who can express their wants and needs. Additionally, singles who are emoji users actively date more and are more sexually active. Specifically, those who send emojis are more likely to have had sex in the previous year and to be sexually active at least once per month. Emojis and emoticons are used in more than just

ALL ABOUT SEXTING

84% of young adults find it more comfortable to use emojis when discussing sex.

69% and 76% of young adults have sent a text-based sext

When referring to sex, the most commonly used emojis and emoticons are: • Penis • Water drops

8====D

• Eggplant • Banana • Peach

21% and 61% of young adults have sent a photo-based sext.

Other emojis that are used when flirting or sexting include: • Winky face • Suggestive face • Smiley face • Kissy face • Pink tongue

• Fingers • Chicken

everyday conversations, as they can also be used when flirting and as innuendos. Dr. Mark McCormack found that these innuendo emojis or emoticons rely on shared norms, as different people use them in different ways, which can make them hard to interpret. McCormack’s study, as well as a study commissioned by Durex, found that most young adults use emojis when discussing sex with friends and sexual partners. Additionally, Durex found that 84 per cent of young adults find it more comfortable to use emojis when discussing sex. McCormack found that people sent smileys to imply sex that is likely to occur. Similarly, Emily Kluftinger’s graduate research presentation on sexting and emojis noted that 53 per cent of participants found using emojis led to sexually suggestive behaviours. Emojis are also being used when sexting. Kluftinger found that 54 per cent of people report that emojis are part of their sexts sometimes, often, or always. What is sexting? Well, it depends on who you ask. There are a variety of definitions for what constitutes sexting, but a general definition is that sexting is the sending of sexually explicit text messages, photos, or videos via mobile device. Sexually explicit photos can be split up further, including semi-nude, nude, and solo sexual acts. Sexting is prevalent in young adults. Studies have found that between 69 per cent and 76 per cent of young adults have sent a text-based sext, whereas between 21 per cent and 61 per cent have sent a photo-based sext.

Most people who sext are in relationships. Is there an emoji that is missing? Durex thinks so!

Sexually explicit photos can be split up further, including semi-nude, nude, and solo sexual acts. In 2015, Durex started calling for a condom emoji. Durex asked people to support them by using the #CondomEmoji. Tons of people and organizations showed support for Durex’s condom emoji, including the MTV Staying Alive Foundation, the AIDS Foundation of Chicago, and various other media outlets. McCormack’s study, “Young people’s attitudes toward and discussion of safe sex and condom use,” found that teens and young adults speak freely about their sexual activity and desires, but have difficulty discussing safer sex. McCormack’s study, as well as a study commissioned by Durex, both indicate that most young adults think that a safe sex emoji would be a good idea. The condom emoji could be useful for putting in dating profiles, like those on Tinder, to remind partners, and to make

it easier to talk about safer sex. Durex sent a message to Unicode Consortium, the non-profit that makes standardized emojis, letting them know that “emojis have changed how young people communicate about the birds and the bees. A safer sex emoji will empower them to talk openly about protection. This is vital to prevent STIs, including HIV and AIDS.” Durex used their Twitter account to argue the importance of a condom emoji, stating “We don’t want to talk about #sex with fruit & veg #emojis… Safe sex calls for an official #CondomEmoji!” They furthered their point by saying: “Emojis make it easier to say anything… Let’s make the sex talk simpler and safer with an official #CondomEmoji!” They even went so far as to advertise a fake eggplant-flavoured condom to support their cause. Unicode rejected the idea and has not yet made a condom emoji. While Durex may not have gotten the official condom emoji they were hoping for, many companies have made their own (although most are only available in the United States). Following a social media vote on World AIDS Day 2016, Durex designated this popular emoji as the unofficial condom emoji: the umbrella with raindrops. Emojis and emoticons are useful for being able to express yourself better over text in general, but especially when discussing sex. Just don’t use more than three emojis and emoticons per text with a potential date, as Match found that users consider it inappropriate :P ;) <3

S E X E D & S E X UA LIT Y

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TH E O NTA R I O N

Making love is good for your health and soul How sex can help you live longer C AT C O O P E R

ALL OF YOUR ANCESTORS had sex, or you wouldn’t be here, which means we’ve got to be doing something right by having so much sex. It may not be much of a surprise, but sex has a lot of health benefits. The most obvious of these benefits probably springs to mind. It’s pretty good exercise, and it can help to reinforce the emotional connection between you and your partner. There’s a lot more to it, however, with sex being a great stress relief and sleep aid. The hormones that are released during sex, prolactin and oxytocin, can help you fall asleep quicker, according to the blog, Greatist. Sex can also boost your immune system by increasing the levels of immunoglobulin in your blood, therefore decreasing your risk for heart disease. These benefits, especially stress relief, can help you live a longer, happier life. Sex can also help relieve pain.

The cocktail of hormones released during sex can be like a shot of natural painkillers. “Sexual activity releases painreducing hormones and has been found to help reduce or block back and leg pain, as well as pain from menstrual cramps, arthritis, and headaches,” Dr. Mercola from the health blog, Mercola, writes. For men, there may also be an added benefit of the reduced risk of prostate cancer. Some evidence suggests that regular — but not excessive — sex may reduce the risk of developing cancer. Pamela Rogers from Healthline reports that “one study found that men who averaged having 4.6 to 7 ejaculations a week were 36 per cent less likely to receive a prostate cancer diagnosis before the age of 70.” S ex a lso improves ment a l health, confidence, expression of emotions, and may improve cognition and memory. Masturbation can reproduce some of these benefits, but often it’s better with a partner. So, whether you choose to abstain or partake in sex, it has some undeniably amazing health benefits. ART BY CAT COOPER

D IARY O F A V E T S TU D E NT

Sex in other species: fun factoids Hyena reproduction is no laughing matter C A R L E I G H C AT H C A R T

WHETHER IT’S a silly Cosmo arti-

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cle or a sex special in The Ontarion, almost all of what we read about reproduction relates back to humans. As a veterinary student, I often find our own species quite boring, and sex is no exception. The animal kingdom features great reproductive diversity. Here I share with you just a bit of the intriguing knowledge that I’ve gained. Hyenas operate in a matriarchal society, meaning that females are the dominant sex. Interestingly, the external genitalia of male and female hyenas appear almost identical. With labial fat resembling a scrotum, and a peniform clitoris, it can be hard to tell which sex is which! Male cats have a barbed penis. Believed to be hormonally associated, these barbs on the glans of the feline penis are reduced after castration (neutering). Some mammals get actual

‘ boners’ — more specifically called the os penis. Not present in humans, this bone is believed to aid in penetration before the male is fully erect. Donkeys can have a 14-month gestation period. Most jennies will give birth after about a year, but gestation can last between 11 and 14 months. If you think that’s long, be grateful you aren’t an elephant. Their gestation periods can last almost two whole years! Speaking of donkeys, most people know that a mule is the product of a horse and a donkey mating. However, this is only partly true. When a female horse and a male donkey mate, a mule is produced. When a male horse and a female donkey mate, the result is actually called a hinny. Male honey bees only mate once. When copulating, the internal penis (endophallus) of the drone (male bee) breaks off inside the queen (the only mating female),

resulting in his death. Unfortunately for the male, the queen will go on to obtain millions of sperm from several other drones during her mating flight. Female snapping turtles can store viable sperm for several years. This is believed to be an evolutionary mechanism and can be particularly important for the species if a female goes multiple seasons without mating opportunities. Alpacas breed on the ground, rather than standing up. When receptive to the male, a female alpaca will sit in what is known as the ‘cush’ position. Also curious is the mating noise of the male, referred to as ‘ogling.’ This noise helps induce ovulation in female alpacas, who will only ovulate after being bred by the male.

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| S E X E D & S E X UA LIT Y

Are your sexual and mental health related? The stigmatization of both sexual and mental health affect one another TA S H A FA LC O N E R

Sexual health and mental health are not separate entities: they are both part of an individual’s overall wellbeing, and because of this are intertwined. Mental illness can affect all aspects of life, including sexuality. Our thoughts and feelings impact our ability to get and stay turned on. Some mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression, can greatly affect arousal, and many medications that treat these illnesses have sex-related side effects, such as lowered sex drive. Having a mental illness does not, however, disqualify someone from having a fulfilling sex life or romantic life, but people with mental illnesses are often stereotyped as hypersexual, asexual, or undeserving of sexual lives. These stereotypes have arisen because of the stigmas surrounding mental health and sexual health. This can make it difficult for people to access the care that they need. The feelings that stigma can stir up, such as fear and embarrassment, can prevent people from bringing up sexual and mental health related topics. It is important for health care providers to be open to discussing sexual and mental health topics with their patients. If everyone is more aware of the language that they use and aims to be more inclusive, it will help enable

Sexual orientation is much more complex than we learn in school. | PHOTO COURTESY OF USNEWS

people who are stigmatized to get the mental and sexual health care they need, instead of feeling neglected. In addition to the idea that mental health affects sexuality, sexuality can also affect mental health. Sexual violence and sexual disorders are linked with various mental health difficulties, including depression and anxiety. Being a sexual minority can also impact mental health. Action Canada notes that research has found that LGBTQ+ individuals

are at a higher risk for some mental health issues and report more unmet mental health needs. The Mental Health Foundation, which is a U.K. charity, states that these impacts may be influenced by stigma, exclusion, discrimination, and ignorance. It may also be impacted by the fact that Canada does not have enough healthcare providers who are equipped to meet the needs of LGBTQ+ individuals. Action Canada indicated that only five hours of medical school are focused on LGBTQ+ health issues.

The historical oppression of certain individuals continues to impact reproductive and mental health. Until 1992, homosexuality was considered a legitimate psychiatric diagnosis. Sterilization impacted many groups of people, including Indigenous peoples. African Americans also experienced many injustices in recent history during slavery, including sexual abuse and rape. These groups of people are still treated unjustly today when seeking out mental and sexual health resources. Additionally, when

discussing mental health and sexual health, minorities often do not see themselves reflected in the discussion. For example, most textbook depictions and waiting room models of genitalia and reproductive systems are clearly based on white individuals. There is a clear correlation between sexual health and mental health, especially for minoritized groups, that needs to be acknowledged and discussed rather than stigmatized.

TALK N E R DY TO M E

Introduction to sexually transmitted infections STIs and your sexual health TA S H A FA LC O N E R

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are infectious diseases that are spread through sexual contact. In the past, these were called sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), but the name has changed to be more accurate. The main difference between a disease and an infection is that a disease tends to have symptoms, whereas an

infection can be asymptomatic. STIs are often asymptomatic, or have symptoms that show up later. If symptoms do show, they depend on the type of STI, but can include pain, itchiness, bleeding, and swelling. Flu-like symptoms are also associated with a number of STIs. The majority of STIs occur among people aged 15 to 24. Some common STIs include chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis. While these are currently curable, some STIs are becoming resistant to medication. There are also some STIs that do not have a cure, but can be treated, such as HIV and herpes.

Being an advocate for yourself and for your own sexual health can help to protect you from getting STIs, such as by requesting protection and discussing sexual history with your partners. Protection from some STIs includes condoms and dental dams. Being up to date on vaccinations (such as HPV) is another way to protect yourself. Additionally, getting tested regularly and knowing your health status is important. It’s recommended that you get tested annually, or between sexual partners, whichever comes first. In addition to using protection, it is important to actively treat any STIs

you may contract. If left untreated, long-term consequences can include infection, sores, pain, infertility, and life-threatening complications. Additionally, many STIs are comorbid, so once you have one, you are more likely to get another. You can get tested at your local doctor’s office, or in Guelph at Public Health (20 Chancellors Way) or at ARCH. Testing depends on the type of STI, but can include a swab, urine samples, and blood tests. Some people note that they do not like to use condoms as a form of protection. If you are looking to make condoms more pleasurable,

try adding a drop of water inside the tip or using silicon-based lube on the outside (never use an oilbased lube with a condom). There are many types and brands of condoms (e.g. flavoured or ribbed), try some out and see what works for you. Putting a condom on may feel like it is interrupting, so try eroticising the condom, for example, make it part of foreplay. Check out next week’s column for more information on sexual health.

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Should faculty-student relationships be allowed? TRUST K ATSANDE

MARINA ARMANIOS

ABRAR SHAKIL

First year, Software Engineering “I don’t see anything wrong with faculty-student relationships as long there is no advantage and/or exploitation in regards to academics from both sides.” KAREEM SKINNER

ABRAR SHAKIL

Fourth year, Chemistry “Generally, it should be frowned upon, but it also depends if the student works directly under the professor or not.”

GEORGIA MORFINO

MARINA ARMANIOS

First year, Animal Biology “I believe that if such a relationship existed, the professor would favour the student by giving them higher grades, so it should be completely banned because it’s not fair for the other students.” GEORGIA MORFINO

First year, Business “I think a romantic relationship between a faculty member and a student is inappropriate.” VIK BADHWAR

Third year, Biology “I think it should be allowed, but not if the student works directly under the professor or the faculty member.”

KAREEM SKINNER

VIK BADHWAR

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2 0 | # M ETOO & # TI M ES UP

22 | VAGINA MONOLOGUES

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Does the media perpetuate the sexualization of women in politics?

Newspapers rank ‘sexy’ female members of Parliament HANNAH RUUTH

CANADA’S PRIME MINISTER , Justin Trudeau, proudly labels himself a feminist and has taken courageous steps in creating a gender-neutral cabinet and implementing a gender-sensitive budget. Yet, our prime minister’s mishaps in the infamous elbowgate incident, caused journalists and the public to rage with fury. In fact, MP Niki Ashton, in a statement in the House of Commons, said, “I am ashamed to be a witness to the person who holds the highest position in our country do such an act. I want to say that for all of us who witnessed this, this

was deeply traumatic. What I will say, if we apply a gendered lens, it is very important that young women in this space feel safe to come here and work here.” This statement made by Ashton, as well as responses from other MPs, clearly demonstrate the House of Commons’ intolerance for any form of harassment or assault, and that safety for females is a top priority. However, since the beginning of the #MeToo movement in early October, the inappropriate actions of certain members have been brought to the fore. Apparently, sexual misconduct is the unspoken reality of Parliament Hill, as members of Parliament, journalists, and political staffers

alike have been expected to tolerate the inappropriate behaviour of their colleagues for decades. Canadian politicians, such as Ontario’s Progressive Conservative leader, Patrick Brown, and minister of sports and persons with disabilities, Kent Kehr, have resigned their leadership positions in the wake of sexual misconduct allegations, however they are both still sitting members in their respective party caucuses while investigations are underway. These recent allegations may be shocking to the average Canadian citizen, but sex is stitched into the daily operations of Parliament Hill. For example, until 2013, The Hill Times released a list of ‘Sexiest MPs

in Ottawa,’ ranking both men and women for their physical features. Frank Magazine also used to release a ‘Hotties on the Hill’ list. On her Twitter feed recently, former NDP staffer Lauren Dobson-Hughes shared her experience of sexual harassment, and how these lists can escalate sexual harassment on Parliament Hill. If this annual occurrence fails to infuriate, simply look to minister of the environment and climate change Catherine McKenna’s Twitter feed, and search for a day where she isn’t called a ‘Climate Barbie.’ While we cannot control the behaviour of individuals, the media must take responsibility in recognizing their misrepresentation of

women. This means questioning policies over outfit choice, campaign strategy over relationship status, and professionalism over body shape. If we, the media, continue to misrepresent women, it’s only natural that the policies and the people who create them will similarly fail to be ‘gender sensitive,’ rather than inclusive of all.

to watch what I was wearing and not slouch in order to not expose my cleavage. At school dances I would be reminded to watch how I was dancing. I understand this was all out of pure love from my mother, but I was 10. I was a child being a child. I loved wearing pigtails because they were pretty. I wanted to wear a bikini because I saw it in a magazine and thought it was pretty too. I danced because I liked dancing. I didn’t see anything sexual in those things, so I couldn’t understand what my mum was saying. At this point, the way men looked at me changed. I remember at 12 years old catching older men in their 20s and 30s staring at my chest that had grown to the size of a D cup. This caused a great deal of confusion in me since I would be

bullied at school by boys my age for being “fat” and a “giant freak,” yet I received quite the opposite reaction from older men. This was at a time when I was also exploring who I was sexually attracted to and what was turning me on. This sexualization, partnered with my naturally budding adolescent curiosity, affected my whole sexual image immensely. I was objectified as something that turned older men on while also being told to cover my body in order to not “give the wrong idea.” This made me feel confused, scared, and ashamed of my own body, which is not right. Young girls should be allowed to explore their bodies, their choice of clothing, and to feel attractive without having to feel shame and guilt over others’ desires that they have no control over.

Right: Former NDP staffer Lauren Dobson-Hughes. Left: Catherine McKenna, minister of t h e e nv i r o n m e n t a n d c l i m a t e change. | PHOTOS COURTESY OF WIKIPEDIA;T WIT TER; NATIONAL OBSERVER

Sexualizing young girls: It has to stop. Keeping kids from being kids because of how others might interpret their looks is wrong N ATA L I E T H I E N

THE SEXUALIZATION of young

girls happens too often in the media. Magazines like W Magazine named Millie Bobby Brown as one of TV’s sexiest stars, even though she’s only 13. Former NBC executive Mike Sington tweeted how Brown “grew up” right before our eyes, even though she is still growing up. Childhood does not automatically end just because a

child grows breasts and hips. This sexualization of children also happens in schools where dress codes are in place, mostly for girls, to prevent them from distracting their male classmates and teachers. A five-year-old being sent home just for wearing a sundress should set off alarms. It is also apparent in our culture when parents automatically become more protective of their children when their bodies change. They begin to interpret anything their child does as sexual, even if that thing is as simple as wearing a bathing suit or experimenting with makeup. I was a few weeks shy of my tenth birthday when I had my first period. Soon my body began to change. A part of me was delighted that I was growing breasts and

hips. I had waited so long to have the curves my mother and other women had. At the same time though, my body was experiencing painful cramps, stretch marks, and hip pain. Not to mention massive changes were beginning to occur. My mother became much more overprotective. I couldn’t wear pigtails and hair clips that had cartoons on them anymore because she felt they were too childlike, especially when I had to wear a uniform to school. Perhaps this combination of cute hair clips on a busty 12-year-old girl seemed too vulgar. I also couldn’t wear a bikini like the other girls my age or the women on TV. When I asked my mother why, she replied: “Because people, older boys, might get the wrong idea.” Whenever my father or his friends were around, I would have

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FEB RUA RY 05, 2018

uelph has a long history with the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements. Linda Reith, a registered psychotherapist, was involved in the early years of the Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis. “It feels like these movements are just happening, but they’re an outgrowth of women changing their willingness to tolerate discrimination and violence,” she said. In 1977, a group of university women wanted to do something about sexual violence against women. With U of G’s support, they acquired a room and started a crisis line. The calls coming in were more about domestic violence, so volunteers secured a basement apartment to shelter Jessica Westlake Christine Bold these women. One early volunteer, Karen Kimpel (née O N TH E N & N OW Abrams), a former U of G genetics major who is running for municipal council in rural Ontario this fall, wrote me an email: “The organization was running out of money, could only afford to keep one staff person, and [was] about to close the Transition House. I offered to live there, and if someone was admitted, we could call professionals as needed. I remember a woman Guelph women talk movements named Marianne Goulden. She was admitted with her kids, bruises around her neck, B A R B A R A S A L S B E R G M AT H E WS and a broken arm. Marianne went through many successes, left her husband, returned to school, got a degree, worked at Transition House, met a new man, became his partner… until he stabbed her to death. I’ll never forget her, and now we have Marianne’s Park, so nobody else has to forget her.” Reith told me: “Marianne was bighearted and courageous. She ended up with an unstable man who killed her. That was heartbreaking, but doesn’t undo everything she stood for and what she did. It just says this is how complicated it is.” Sly Castaldi, executive director of GuelphWellington Women in Crisis, and co-author Linda Reith Sly Castaldi of Remembering Women Murdered by Men, says: “Today, we offer a huge range of services for women who’ve experienced sexual violence, Out of this grew our book, which highlights Diversity (GRCGED). Guelph Queer Equalbut it’s still not enough.” memorials remembering murdered women ity (GQE) is available for individuals from The #MeToo movement focuses on across the country. I see a parallel between the LGBTQ+ community. The Office of one’s personal experiences with sexual these memorials and what’s happening with Diversity and Human Rights also helps harassment. The #TimesUp movement the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements. individuals bring forward concerns, and the student affairs case director supports concentrates on solving the greater issue. I This can be framed through three pillars: asked some people about the importance of 1. Honouring the individual — #MeToo — those who’ve experienced sexual violence.” A s power f ul a s the #MeToo a nd This woman is not just a statistic, she is these movements. #TimesUp movements are, there’s always a real person. In an email, Brenda Whiteside, U of G’s room for improvement. associate vice-president (student affairs) 2. Naming systemic violence — Recognizing “I encourage individuals to pause before that the woman’s murder or the sexual wrote: “It’s important for women and men they blast something on social media. violence she experiences is part of a stato tell someone if they have been treated While they may do so to address actions tistic. The individual stories together inappropriately. This movement empowers of an individual, they sometimes forget the paint a picture of system-wide violence. individuals to raise their concerns.” consequences to victims.” It can be seen by the accumulative indiJessica Westlake, case manager at U of —Brenda Whiteside, associate vicevidual stories. G student affairs told me: “With one out of president (student affairs) at U of G three, or one out of five (depending on what 3. Promoting collective action — #TimesUp — Making change by working together.” source you reference) women experiencing “I’m worried about possible backlash sexual violence between the ages of 18 and against survivors for coming forward. Student affairs believes survivors deserve 24, and approximately one out of six males People have a choice whether they want to experiencing sexual violence throughout to be supported and empowered to make identify as a survivor or not, and when to their lifetime, sexual violence is one of the informed choices. Westlake reported: “The disclose. There are others who worry that largest global public health issues. These first meeting is typically about the victim if they come forward they will lose their movements bring this issue to the forefront and their care. Our services are flexible and jobs. We need systems to make it safer for student-driven. We act as a connector proof conversations and political agendas.” women to be believed and treated fairly. Christine Bold, professor of English at U viding coordinated care and leveraging all There’s still shame and blame put on surof G and co-author of Remembering Women expertise and services on and off campus.” vivors. When you are marginalized, you’re Whiteside writes: “We have a strong Murdered by Men, links the #MeToo and more susceptible to violence. We still have #TimesUp movements with the work that peer-to-peer support program. There are ‘worthy and unworthy’ survivors and U of G’s Cultural Memory Group did back also student organizations that support individuals, such as the Guelph Resource continue to treat them this way. The issue in the ’90s. “Our focus began with Marianne’s Park. Centre for Gender Empowerment and of the missing and murdered Indigenous

U of G, #MeToo, and #TimesUp

TH E O NTA R I O N

women is a huge shame on society. If we don’t deal with issues of poverty, we’ll keep people trapped in untenable situations.” —Sly Castaldi, executive director of Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis “We have the opportunity to be fuller human beings — as men, women, and nonbinary. The leadership, in naming violence against women, is indebted to the lesbian community because they were in a position to think critically since they were not in the traditional male/female relationship. They were ‘edge walkers,’ seeing things more clearly from the edges.” —Linda Reith, registered psychotherapist “There needs to be updated laws, processes, procedures, and policies to reflect where society is now.” —Jessica Westlake, case manager at U of G student affairs We can make a difference by standing up to sexual violence. Here is one of my own #MeToo moments as an ’80s U of G student. I was returning home after class when a man walking by me on Gordon Street grabbed my breast, then continued walking away. I’d recently broken up with an emotionally abusive man, and had had enough. So when this asshat grabbed my breast, I whipped off my knapsack with heavy textbooks and used it to slam dunk my attacker’s head, while growling, “Don’t EVER do that again — or else!” Physical violence is not always the safest response. We require these movements to turn into something so we have better ways to protect ourselves. The onus is on us all to unlearn the crap we’ve been taught and realize everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. #TimesUp Instagram: @maddysmom_4u

RESOURCES:

If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual violence, please contact Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis at: 519-836-5710 or 1-800-265-SAFE (7233) or www.gwwomenincrisis.org. To learn more about how to believe and listen please visit: • www.uoguelph.ca/sexualviolence/ supporting-survivor • www.uoguelph.ca/studentaffairs/ sexual-violence-student-modules To view the University of Guelph sexual violence policy: • uoguelph.civicweb.net/document/126417 Guelph Queer Equality: • gryphlife.uoguelph.ca/organization/gqe SafeWalk: • wellness.uoguelph.ca/sws/safewalk To view the University of Guelph sexual violence and support website: • www.uoguelph.ca/sexualviolence/

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Rape culture: It’s still a thing

The central force that drives rape culture stems from the idea that aggressive males are somehow seen as attractive...

If you don’t know what this means, it’s time to learn G H A I D A S FO U R

SOME THINGS STILL exist because we refuse to admit that they do in fact exist. One of those things is rape culture. Admitting that something exists is not just understanding what it entails, but also acknowledging that it is everyone’s problem. Rape culture by definition is a culture characterized by victim blaming and the normalization of sexual aggression by believing that rape and sexual violence are inevitable. The central force that drives rape culture stems from the idea that aggressive males are somehow seen as attractive and more masculine. This not only trivializes their behaviour, making it more acceptable, but also makes it seem inevitable, as if aggression is rooted

deep in the nature of what it means to be male. What is interesting to note about these points is that they seem to describe animalistic characteristics, not necessarily males in our society. Men who oppose rape culture and potentially identify as feminists are sometimes perceived as weak, submissive, and “worst of all,” feminine — as if femininity is an insult. However, a recent study by Geoffrey C. Urbaniak and Peter R. Kilmann completely contradicts these assumptions. It showed that women generally prefer men who identify as altruistic, sensitive, and nice. So, it seems that dominant and aggressive men aren’t that sexy after all.

Women are never “asking for it” | PHOTO COURTESY OF GEMMA EVANS

One of the most common concepts of rape culture pertains to victim blaming. An unfortunately high number of people blame rape victims and claim that “they were asking for it,” as if rape is something pleasant that people want

and ask for. If rape victims actually asked to be raped by dressing provocatively, in theory, women who choose to dress modestly should not get raped. But this is obviously not true. Some may argue that dressing

or acting in a certain way makes someone more likely to get harassed or raped and many articles get published debating and analyzing the argument above. What they fail to realize is that proving or disproving this statement does not serve humanity and does not change the statistics. Believing in this idea supports the rapist’s behavior by justifying it. This results in a society that teaches people to not get raped instead of teaching people to not rape in the first place.

Sexual violence is still an international problem Sexual violence is an international problem that affects one in three women and one in six men.

The dark side of sex TA S H A FA LC O N E R

UNFORTUNATELY, not all aspects of sexuality are positive. Sexual violence is one of the darkest sides of sex — but it’s not actually even about sex. Instead, sexual violence is about power and control. Sexual violence is an umbrella term that includes, but is not limited to, sexual assault and sexual harassment. One issue that impacts sexual violence is that western society does not yet have all the tools to fully understand and be able to establish consent. While campaigns about consent try to simplify what it means to consent, in reality, it is a much more complex concept. Researchers are working to understand the nuances of consent. The education system is also starting to teach issues of consent at a younger age so that people are able to fully understand its complexities. Another issue is that norms regarding sexual violence have been created by the rampant sexism, misogyny, and myths in our society. The patriarchy also plays a role. These norms create widespread stigma and downplay the impact of sexual violence. This stigma and

While sexual violence can affect anyone, some groups of people are more likely to be affected, including:

• • • • • Hollywood has been especially active in keeping sexual violence at the forefront of conversations this year. PHOTO BY ALORA GRIFFITHS

The Ontario government states that 460,000 sexual assaults happen every year... the prevalent myths surrounding sexual violence make it difficult for people to come forward. Due to these issues, many acts of sexual violence are unreported. In Canada, sexual violence is one of the most underreported crimes. The Ontario government states that 460,000 sexual assaults happen every year, but only approximately three per cent of these incidents are reported. It is estimated that for every 1,000

acts of sexual assault, only 33 are reported, with only 12 having charges laid, six being prosecuted, and three leading to convictions. This does not mean that there is a large number of false reports, but that the justice system needs to change. These issues may seem too big to solve, especially by any one person, but changes can be made. These continued discussions help to challenge and change

societal ideas. Sexual violence needs to continue to be at the forefront. Things are getting better, but we need to keep pushing. This past year has seen an increase in discussions about sexual violence, especially with Hollywood keeping the conversation at the forefront of award shows and starting the Time’s Up campaign. Additionally, the conversation around sexual violence has been continued as celebrities, including actresses and athletes, come forward with their stories and show their support for survivors. Continuing the conversation helps bring about public education and awareness. Through these discussions and through research we can better understand consent and healthy relationships.

Women Indigenous peoples People under the age of 24 People who are single People who are unemployed or low income • People who have disabilities • People who are institutionalized Due to the high prevalence of sexual violence at post-secondary institutions, these institutions are also working to put sexual violence committees, policies, and campaigns in place. The University of Guelph has such committees, policies, and campaigns. In addition to the provincial Draw the Line campaign, U of G has the S.A.F.E. (sexual assault free environment) program, which works to educate the community through events and workshops, including the “Can I Kiss You?” presentation during Orientation Week. Last year the ‘Stop. Ask.’ campaign was also implemented. This consent campaign aims to remind everyone that the onus is on them to stop and ask for consent, and to stop if someone does not consent.

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V - D A Y G U E L P H P RE S E NT S

The Vagina Monologues and Grey A behind the scenes look at two anti-violence theatrical works M I R A L I A L M AU L A

IT’S TIME AGAIN for V-Day

Guelph ’s produc tion of Eve Ensler’s episodic play, The Vagina Monologues. V-Day Guelph, “a CSA-accredited group working on campus and in the community to promote anti-violence through art and activism,” produces The Vagina Monologues annually. This year the group is also presenting Grey, a feature show containing true stories related to sex and gender by local authors. The Ontarion spoke to Rachel Schenk Martin, director of The Vagina Monologues and a fifth-year U of G student majoring in psychology and minoring in classical studies. Schenk Martin became involved with The Vagina Monologues “after seeing a poster advertising auditions in my second year.” She told The Ontarion that she has “loved it ever since.” When asked about the importance of this production for the community, Schenk Martin stated that the show’s proceeds go to local charities while its narrative promotes positive body image and self-love, “which can be very difficult in today’s socio-cultural climate.” She expanded on the power of artistic expression to inspire social change, explaining that the show allows “people to express their emotions through art. I am a strong advocate for art as a means of revolution. Words have the power to change people and the world, and I fully believe that this show can do that.” Despite her fondness for the production, Schenk Martin is aware of the criticisms faced by The Vagina Monologues and acknowledges that they “are absolutely valid.” “We don’t want to deny that there are issues in the way that the show was originally written, the voices that were included, or the stories that were chosen,” she said. “For this reason, we have made several changes to our production, especially focusing on gender-inclusive language. We know that not every woman has a vagina, and not everyone with a vagina is a woman — this year’s

“University of Guelph students need to hear the graphic stories, to hear the heartbreak, to know that these issues are not just stories on the news. Sexual assault and gender-based violence are happening right here, in this country, in this city, on this campus. We need to stop being passive. We need to stop debating the punishments for perpetrators after the fact and stop sexual violence from happening in the first place.” —Lovleen Gill, director of Grey production addresses that. The show has also been critiqued for focusing too much on female sexuality; but I believe that a major purpose for the show is allowing women to express their sexuality in a fun way, and to reclaim that narrative for themselves.” Miriam Kearney, a recent graduate of U of G’s general arts program and stage manager for both productions, agrees with Schenk Martin’s assessment of the show: “The Vagina Monologues is not a perfect show. It doesn’t encompass everything, and it doesn’t speak for everyone. We’ve done our best to make it more inclusive, more up to date, and to break the notion that having a vagina is key to womanhood, but there is always more that could be done. I’d encourage anyone who has ideas on how to make it better to please talk to us to change things for next year.” Schenk Martin’s production of The Vagina Monologues focuses on “being more inclusive of all people with vaginas, whether they are men, women, non-binary, genderqueer, third gender, gender variant, genderfluid, and any and

all other gender identities.” She also hopes to emphasize “the overarching themes of positive body image and self-love,” explaining, “Many people with vaginas are ashamed of them, they hide them, they’re self-conscious about them. This show has the potential to change that, and I’m excited to see that impact.” The Ontarion also spoke to the director of Grey: Lovleen Gill, a fourth-year U of G student specializing in neuroscience and psychology. Gill explained that Grey was developed after an open call for submissions of “true stories of sexual assault, gender-based violence, and various other gender topics” from local authors in October. Describing the number of submissions as “both inspiring and heartbreaking,” Gill noticed a certain theme emerging: “I found that there was an overlapping theme of confusion and uncertainty accompanying incidences of ‘non-traditional rape.’” A clear conflict in representation and the reality of lived experiences was evident in these works. “Many writers spoke about how

This year’s cast of The Vagina Monologues takes a bow after a dress rehearsal. PHOTOS BY ALORA GRIFFITHS

incidences of sexual assault are often portrayed as being done by a stranger, [as] clear cut, and [as] easy to disclose to the police as a black and white scenario,” Gill wrote in an email to The Ontarion. “Many of the incidents experienced by my cast [involved] someone close to them, in a way that left them feeling lost and unsure as to how to progress from there on. This is what led to the title Grey.” Grey, like The Vagina Monologues, is also a series of monologues. But that’s not all they have in common. “Both shows are extremely powerful and inspiring. Viewers should be prepared for their worlds to change after seeing these two shows and prepare to create change themselves,” said Gill. The Ontarion also connected with Grace Tenszen, a second-year U of G student who is majoring in biology and minoring in French, and an actor in this year’s performance of The Vagina Monologues. Tenszen, who performed in the production last year as well, commented on the differences she has noticed. “I think the most significant differences between this year’s production and last year’s production

is what has happened in the world over the past year. Events that have proved we still have a long way to go in terms of equality (i.e. Donald Trump being elected, the rise of the alt-right movement) and events that have pushed even harder for equality and fairness to prevail (i.e. the #MeToo movement, Black Lives Matter movement, and the Time’s Up initiative),” Tenszen wrote in an email to The Ontarion. “There are definite setbacks in what we are trying to accomplish for equality, but also hope moving forward. I believe this year the directors have tried extra hard to update certain monologues, to make them more relevant in light of current events. For example, we have edited a monologue to address the serial harassers and abusers in Hollywood, and we are trying to make the monologues’ language as inclusive as possible,” she concluded. The Vagina Monologues and Grey will be performed at the George Luscombe Theatre on Friday, Feb. 9 and Saturday, Feb. 10.

TH E O NTA R I O N .CO M

I S SU E 18 4.5

| S E X & TH E S E R I O U S

Rachel Schenk Martin

Leaving town for

“For me, the monologue Over It is always the most powerful of the show. It deals very explicitly with gender-based violence and violence against women, especially in the context of sexual violence. It involves the whole cast on stage, and every year, the heartbreak of it all is just so real. It talks about real-life cases of violence, and statistics of violence, both locally and globally. This year, a new line was added, about having to re-write and reupdate the monologue with new statistics [every year] and how ‘over it’ we are. I’ve never sat through it with a dry eye.” —Rachel Schenk Martin, director for The Vagina Monologues

winter break? Live off campus?

“The Vagina Monologues are extremely important for people to see because I know it has taught me many things about different women’s and people with vagina’s experiences with their bodies and their experiences with others. ... I know that after past shows people have left the show with the realization that they have stories of their own.” —Grace Tenszen, actor

Help prevent frozen pipes at home with some simple prep.

Grace Tenszen

“My favorite monologue is My Revolution Starts in the Body. I love it because it is such an empowering call to arms to fuck societal norms and to love yourself.” —Miriam Kearney, stage manager “I think the importance of The Vagina Monologues is that it talks about stuff that not much else does. It talks about having a vagina and everything that comes with that. It talks about sex. It talks about sexual assault. I think it’s important for everyone — but especially students who are just starting out on their own — to hear different points of view, to know they’re not alone, and most importantly, to know they can talk about it.” —Miriam Kearney, stage manager

Open cabinet doors in cold bathrooms,

Miriam Kearney

kitchens and laundry rooms to expose pipes to warm air. Keep harmful chemicals away from kids and pets! Renting? Talk to your landlord about frozen pipe prevention and what to do if your pipes freeze.

Visit guelph.ca/frozenpipes for more tips and information. Loveleen Gill and Rachel Schenk Martin

F U N PAG E

THE ONTARION

S M T W T

GET ON TOP OF

february

feb 08-15

TO DO LIST Feb. 8 - Feb. 10 Gloria’s Guy Presented by GLT 8 p.m. Guelph Little Theatre

Feb. 9 - 10 The Vagina Monologues & Grey Presented by V-Day Guelph F 7 p.m./ Sat. 12 p.m./7 p.m. George Luscombe Theatre

Feb. 8 Campus Art Showcase 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. UC courtyard Book launch: Policing Black Lives Black liberation activist Robyn Maynard 3 p.m. UC 441

Creative Mending Darning, embroidery, and crochet workshop 7 p.m. Necessary Arts

London Hammer Ft. The Rings; The Breaking English 8 p.m. Red Papaya

Feb. 11

Feb. 13

Hillside Inside Slocan Ramblers bluegrass jam 3 p.m. Royal Electric

Feb. 9 to Feb. 11

Hillside Inside: Sun K Ft. Texas King; Band of Rascals 3 p.m. Royal Electric

The Viola Desmond Story* Presented by Flex We Talent Theatre Company Learn about the woman who will be on the $10 bill 7 p.m. Heritage Hall

Networking Event** Black professionals share experiences and career advice 5:30 p.m. University Club, UC

GenreCon 2018 Comic convention Vendors, panels, and special guests Various times, Holiday Inn Guelph

Feb. 9 Property// Ft. Wangled Teb & Ryan Cassidy 9:30 p.m. Van Gogh’s Ear The Dead Souls Ft. Mr. Pharmacist; Joy Division & The Fall tribute bands 10 p.m. The eBar

Feb. 10 PipeDown! Presents: Ophelia Syndrome Ft. Cygnus & United Power Soul 8 p.m. Silence

Hillside Inside: Metz Ft. Partner 9 p.m. St. George’s Anglican Church Boyscout Ft. Hudson Say; Run Maggie Run 9:30 p.m. Van Gogh’s Ear Guelph Finance Conference Learn about capital markets, finance, and making money 8 a.m. MacDonald Hall Goth Trap Night Ft . DJ Sensi Boy and DJ Noah23 10 p.m. Atmosphere

Live Jazz and The Hot 8* Live music featuring Joni NehRita and documentary screening 7 p.m. The Life Centre Sunday Cinema The Florida Project & Thor: Ragnarok 6:30 p.m. & 8:50 p.m. THRN 1200

Feb. 12 Leadership & Community Building Workshop** Facilitated by Leelee Davis 5:30 p.m. UC 442

Feb. 14 <3 Happy Valentine’s Day! <3 B e Yo u r O w n B a e w i t h #YourCSA Share messages of self-love 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. UC Courtyard Old Man Luedecke CSA Noon Hour Concert 12 p.m. UC Courtyard

Feb. 15 Silence Presents: David Essig 8 p.m. Silence As part of Black History Month: *Presented by the Guelph Black Heritage Society ** Presented by The Cultural Diversity Office

F U N PAG E

THE ONTARION

CROSSWORD 1

For your chance to win TWO FREE BOB’S DOGS, submit a completed crossword to The Ontarion office, UC 264, by FEBRUARY 13, 2018 at 3 P.M.

24 27

A I

P O

G N

T E 50

M O

B E 51

E 40

44 48

N G

S S

P O N

N O

A M A

4 3

7 9

E T

N G

9 2 1 6

S T

3 4

2 8 7 5 8 5 2 1 7 3 6 4 9 8 4 1 3 5 6 5 7 6 8 2 6 8 7 3 9 2 9 5 4 1 1

SUDOKU

A M S

53 59

1 6 5 2 5 7 8 3 9 4 6 4 6 3 9 1 2 5 7 7 8 9 2 9 3 1 4 5 4 2 1 6 7 8 3 8

18 22

E W N

E 21

R O O

S W E

41 45

O N S

T I

A O

P O R

17 20

O M E

O R O

O N

ANSWERS FROM 184.4

Crossword Winner from 184.4 NICOLAS BEASSAY-TORFS

Winners are announced in the paper each week and should collect their voucher from The Ontarion office.

Fill in the empty squares so that each of the digits 1 through 9 appear once in each row, column, and 3-by-3 block.

6 3 4 2 7 6 3 1 5 9 4 1 3

6 2 3 8 9 6 2 1 2 7 1 3 6 5 9 8

6 5 9

Across

Down

1–Indian garment

1–Ooze

5–Hawkins of Dogpatch

2–Mater preceder

10–Inner layer of a quilt

3–Banister

14–Airline since 1948

4–Forbidden by law

15–Ogles

5–Prison

16–Steven Chu’s cabinet

6–Dynamic intro

dept.

7–Gidget portrayer Sandra

17–Pianist Gilels

8–Some nest eggs

18–Neighborhoods

9–Tried

19–Cross letters

10–Square doughnut

20–Capital of Sicily

11–Years in old Rome

22–Droopy

12–Small gull

24–Precious stone

13–Math branch

25–Longing

21–Hi-___

26–Books of maps

23–Acquire

30–Hates intensely

26–On ___-to-know basis

34–Yuletide

27–Heavy metric weight

35–Governed

28–Guides

37–Chinese weight

29–Dawn

38–Bambi’s aunt

30–Struck out

39–Goose egg

31–Pago Pago locale

40–Year in Edward the

32–Informs

Confessor’s reign

33–Slip

41–Terminates

36–Abner’s adjective

43–Governs

42–Frying pan

45–Not fearful

43–Cock

46–Writing space

44–Nasal cavities

48–Illness

45–Decapitates

50–___ Jima

47–Tango need

51–Kabuki kin

49–Red or White follower

52–Shut in

52–Barely managed, with

56–Growth

“out”

60–Ship’s backbone

53–Hawaii’s state bird

61–Layers

54–Gospel singer Winans

63–As well as

55–Dublin’s land

64–Suffix with exist

56–Like Death Valley

65–Bert’s roomie

57–Gin flavoring

66–Slay

58–Egyptian goddess

67–Insect-repelling chemical

59–Juniors, perhaps

68–Orchestra section

62–Opposite of WSW

69–Cong. meeting

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TESL GRADUATE CERTIFICATE PREPARE FOR A CAREER… TEACHING ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE

Bachelors & Bachelorettes of Guelph

This graduate certificate program prepares you to teach English language learners in: • community programs across Canada • a variety of workplace settings • college and university programs here and abroad • a variety of settings overseas

340 hour program includes applied in-class and practicum experience Recognized by TESL Canada (Standard II) and by TESL Ontario.

Valentine’s Day is around the corner. We’re looking for eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. Do you know a single Gryphon, who is an all-around great person? Nominate them by sending their contact information and a brief blurb about how you know them and why you think they’re great. Send nominations to onweb@uoguelph.ca by Wednesday, Feb. 7 at 3 p.m.

Apply now for September! www.conestogac.on.ca

We’ll feature your picks in our February 15 issue.

undergraduates wanted WE ARE CURRENTLY RECRUITING UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS TO JOIN OUR BOARD OF DIRECTORS! The Board of Directors sets policy, manages the business affairs, and is the ultimate authority of The Ontarion. Its policies and procedures help to ensure both effective management for the paper, and financial security for the corporation. The Board is also responsible for creating and helping to maintain a healthy and productive working environment.

Contact onchair@uoguelph.ca for more information THEONTARION.COM

I S SU E 18 4.5

TH E O NTA R I O N .CO M

| S O C IA L S

Q +A W ITH G U E LPH

Do you prefer to keep the lights on or off during sex?

#IWriteTheOntarion

LIGHTS ON 40%

LIGHTS OFF 60%

PHOTO BY KAREN K. TRAN

R ES U LT S : Lig ht s o n : 4 0 % Lig ht s of f : 6 0 %

Every week we’re asking readers to participate in a poll and tell us what you think about a chosen topic. Look for our polls posted on our Facebook and Twitter page every Wednesday, and post your comments for a chance to see your opinion printed in next week’s issue of The Ontarion!

Janan Shoja Doost SECOND YE AR NEUROSCIENCE

PET OF THE WEEK

What is your favourite part about writing for The Ontarion?

Covering stories for The Ontarion has allowed me to explore different aspects of writing. From hands-on journalism to analysis of a certain issue for an opinion piece, The Ontarion has taught me to think outside the box, go outside of my comfort zone, and just do it! I’ve already learned so much throughout this journey — I can’t wait to see what other phenomenal things The Ontarion has in store for me. W h at i s o n e of yo u r favo u r i te things that you’ve covered for The Ontarion?

all of the other combat sports related articles, especially the fight breakdowns. For all of my stories, not only has the writing process been fun, but I’ve always been pleased with the way they have all turned out in the end. What are your favourite things about the Guelph community?

Guelphites are always so kind and respectful. I think that every community in Guelph genuinely cares about the wellbeing of others. I absolutely love the warmth and friendliness of every spot in town. Tell us one fun fact about yourself.

I like all of the stories that I’ve written for The Ontarion. But if I have to choose, the piece that I wrote about the “art” in mixed martial arts has got to be my favourite. I also enjoyed writing

FOLLOW JANAN

PHOTO BY PATRICK SUTHERLAND

BUTTERS

The Rat

Human: Krystabel Harris & Patrick Sutherland Pet’s Age: Two months

This is Butters at about four weeks old. She is the most cautious and shy among all her sisters, but once she feels comfortable she will demand love and cuddles. Her hobbies include being adorable and sitting in a warm pile of rat siblings.

Do you think your pet deserves to be the next pet of the week? Send your photos (must be over 1 MB) to onweb@uoguelph.ca by 9 A.M. on MONDAY, FEBRUARY 12 along with your: full name, pet’s name and age, and a fun fact about them.

I shadowbox when I get bored and host a podcast, T.K.O., every Thursday on CFRU 93.3 FM, also available on iTunes and SoundCloud.

@jay_naan

@ontarion

@jay_naan

@theontarion @theontarion

We’re celebrating our awesome contributors! Interested in seeing your name in print? Come to our volunteer meetings on Wednesdays from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. (UC264). If you can’t make it, just drop by the office or email Mirali at oneditor@uoguelph.ca for more info!

Bachelors & Bachelorettes of Guelph Valentine’s Day is around the corner. We’re looking for eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. Do you know a single Gryphon, who is an all-around great person? Nominate them by sending their contact information and a brief blurb about how you know them and why you think they’re great. Send nominations to onweb@uoguelph.ca by Wednesday, Feb. 7 at 3 p.m. We’ll feature your picks in our February 15 issue.

23 Wellington Street East | StagShop.com

VOTE for your Board of Governors and Senate Representatives! Election Period: February 12 - 15, 2018 Check your University of Guelph email account for your ballot! Candidate statements and additional info can be Found at: uoguelph.ca/secretariat Questions? Email elections@uoguelph.ca Board of Governors Graduate Representative — ELECT ONE — Keely Kavcic Nicholas Manuel

Board of Governors Undergraduate Representative — ELECT ONE — Charity Cruz Lindsey Fletcher Nicholas Kowaleski Megan MacKinnon Monica Rylski Cameron Stotts

Senate College of Social and Applied Human Sciences Graduate Representative — ELECT ONE — Keely Kavcic Ratanak Ly

Senate Bachelor of Bio-Resource Management Undergraduate Representative — ELECT ONE — Matthew Pavusa Monica Rylski