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Dear Ontarion Readers,

The Ontarion would like to acknowledge the First Nations, Inuit and Metis people of Canada on Truth and Reconciliation day.

Truth and Reconciliation day honours residential school survivors and the children who never made it home. The last residential school closed less than 25 years ago and there were a total of 140 federally run residential schools.

Truth and Reconciliation day also coincides with Or ange Shirt Day, a day where Canadians wear orange to remember the intergenerational trauma within the indigenous community.

The Ontarion stands in solidarity with everyone affected by these atrocities. We acknowledge that the residential school system has deeply affected those involved and will continue to work toward reconciliation.

For more information, please visit the National Cen tre for Truth and Reconciliation’s website, nctr.ca. If you are a survivor and are in crisis please call 1-888872-5554 (1-888-TRC-5554).

ARTS & CULTURE

SPORTS & HEALTH

OPINION

FUN STUFF

The Ontarion

The pages of this month’s Ontarion are haunted. Take an adventure and find out your halloween destiny.

While walking down the street you feel the crisp fall air. The breeze is gently blowing leaves around you. You take a deep breath and take a left, but it isn’t the street you had thought it would be. You notice that everything around you has changed. The once blue sky is now a menacing grey and the wind has picked up dramatically. The air has an ominous feel that sends a shiver down your spine. You are lost and don’t know where to go.

You see an old abandoned house. The wrap-around porch is decaying, and the windows are mostly boarded shut. Except for one window on the sec ond floor that has a faint glimmer of candlelight.

Do you go up to the house or keep walking? Go to the house on Page 11 Keep walking on Page 12

A R T N

Guelph Jazz Festival is extra sharp after pandemic restrictions take a rest

With a vast selection of bands and or chestras this past September, many gathered at the Guelph Jazz Festival this year to listen to a variety of performers put their own twist on the genre.

The Jazz Festival took place from Sept. 15 to 18 in various venues through out downtown Guelph. Most concerts were ticketed at about $15 to $20, but the Satur day list featured a variety of artists playing for free in Market Square from 2 in the afternoon to 11 at night.

New to the festival include the afore mentioned ensembles Land of Kush and Natural Information Society. The former is a 24-piece ensemble that uses a radical blend of different musical styles, some of which sticks to the better known songbased format while others focus more on electro-acoustics. Composer, guitarist, and oud player for the band is Sam Shalabi splits his time between Montreal and Cai ro.

Meanwhile, Natural Information Sys tems is a nine-piece ensemble from Chica go who perform “trance-like, multilayered, and constantly evolving rhythmic materi al,” according to Thomson.

For 23 years, Bob has made it his mission to serve up good food and good times to U of G students. Whether you're in need of a quick meal or a just friendly face, come say hi to Bob at his hot dog stand just east of Branion Plaza.

BOB’S DOGSBOB’S DOGS

Carden St. was blocked off to make space for information and merchandise booths as well as the large stage. Portable wa ter fountains allowed attendees to drink water for free, and some of the local shops set up outdoor patios.

Performances throughout Saturday in cluded: the Guelph Youth Jazz Ensemble, Doghouse Orchestra, Doug Tielli’s Imagi nary Brass Band, Bernice, James Brandon Lewis Trio, Natural Information Society, and Lido Pimienta. During the rest of the week, new and returning artists such as Land of Kush, Eric Chenaux, Plinc! Plonc!, Chippe wa Travellers, and the Heavyweights Brass Band performed for the residents of Guelph.

Scott Thomson is one of the artistic and general directors for the Guelph Jazz Festi val who took over after the founding director, University of Guelph director and professor Ajay Heble, left in 2017.

In an interview, he told The Ontarion, “We take pride in our programming that we give local and visiting audiences a taste of both something they’ve heard at the festival in previous years and also some brand new things.”

Returning to the Guelph Jazz festival for its 20th year is La Fanfare Pourpour, a group that played on Friday in Market Square as part of the Street Music Party. Hailing from Montreal, they’re a 19-piece Quebecois brass band

“They've been performing in some form or another for decades, so this is a celebration of those 20 years they’ve been playing in Guelph,” said Thomson.

The festival takes place every year in September and is truly a part of Guelph culture.

“We were so committed and deter mined that live music should be part of the cultural fabric of Guelph and also to give a lot of musicians the work that they needed pretty desperately [during the pandemic],” Thomson said.

“This year’s programming just builds on that momentum, energy, and spirit.”

Smiles. Hot Dogs.Music. Smiles. Hot Dogs.

Come see for yourself why

Dogs is a U of G Tradition

Come see for yourself why Bob's Dogs is a U of G Tradition

The festival welcomed performers new and old to the royal city

ELENI KOPSAFTIS

The free Saturday concerts featured James Brandon Lewis Trio, Natural Information Society, Lido Pimienta and the Guelph Youth Jazz Ensemble. PHOTO BY ELENI KOPSAFTIS

U of G Food Market offers affordable produce to students in need

The market aims to provide access to affordable food while destigmatizing food insecurity on campus

TAYLOR PIPE

An affordable, sliding scale food market is taking place on campus throughout the fall semester to give students access to fresh produce without breaking the bank.

The U of G Food Market was piloted last year and saw great success. This past September they held their first post-COVID market in the University Centre.

“It's a really friendly, welcoming en vironment as soon as you step foot in our market,” said Maya Nickle, market coordi nator. “We'll have all of our produce laid out just like a farmers market.”

The produce will have two prices on it.

Nickle explained that’s where the slid ing scale model comes into play.

“The lowest end is as cheap as we can offer it and the other end is retail pricing,” Nickle said. “Once they grab all their items, and pick out what they want, they will go to the checkout. And once they're checking out the person working will tell you what they’re total range is.”

However, the way the checkout works

“That kind of data, I think, just really kick-started a lot of different organizations on campus thinking about what we can do to address this because we don't have a lot of resources on campus.”

All of the produce for the U of G Food Market is provided by The Seed, a local non-profit that helps combat food insecuri ty.

“This year, we're looking forward to making a lot more partnerships and doing collaborations with groups on campus,” Nickle said. “That's going to be really excit ing.”

The next food markets are taking place in the University Centre from 12 p.m. to 3 p.m. on Oct. 6 and 13.

For more information on the market, and to find out where they’ll be next, fol low @uogfoodmarket on instagram.

is being changed this year to erase the stig ma surrounding food insecurity. Instead of verbally saying what you would like to spend, there is a digital option for you to choose the amount.

“We're really hoping to kind of im prove physical as well as economic access to food for our students,” Nickle said. “And we're hoping that this new system gives the power back to the individuals to choose their discount and what they honestly feel comfortable paying without the verbal com ponent.”

Nickle said the project is a collabo rative effort between Feeding 9 Billion within Arrell Food Institute, the Guelph Lab within U of G's Community Engaged Scholarship Institute, (CESI), the Office of Sustainability, Hospitality Services and the Guelph Centre for Urban Organic Farm ing.

“There was actually a study done with CECI and Meal Exchange in 2020 - and this was kind of one of the main driving forces… they actually found that one in five students surveyed at the University of Guelph were food insecure,” Nickle said.

Ontario’s Bill 124 was introduced by the Ford government in 2019 and caps annual salary increases for nurses and other public sector workers at one per cent. PHOTO BY TAYLOR PIPE

This year, the food market introduced a digital component that helps reduce the stigma surround ing food insecurity.

PHOTO BY TAYLOR PIPE

A guide to Guelph's 2022 Municipal Election

What you need to know before you vote on Oct. 24

ANNA MCIVOR

Ontario’s upcoming municipal election is on Oct. 24. These elections occur every four years, and this one includes mayoral, council, as well as school board elections. This article is going to provide you with a complete guide to these elections and how to par ticipate in them.

Who can vote in this election?

To be able to vote you have to be a Canadian citizen and be at least 18 years old on election day. To be able to vote in Guelph you also have to be a resident here, the owner or tenant of proper ty, or the spouse of an owner or tenant of property.

Students can vote in your hometown and where they are temporarily living to attend uni versity.

How can I vote?

You can vote in person at the polling stations, either on the day of the election or in advance. Advanced voting takes place at Guelph City Hall on Oct. 8, 9, 10, 14, 15, and 16. Additionally, you can vote by mail and in proxy (but

you must have completed this by Aug. 22).

After Sept. 1, you need to ap ply to the municipal clerk to add your name to the voters list. This can be done up until the election and needs to be completed to be able to vote.

services), and increasing housing units. Homelessness is also a key issue for Guthrie and he plans to continue to tackle it here in Guelph. He would also like to see more investment in infrastructure such as snow plows, lawn cutting, and sports fields. He previously served ward 4 as a councillor from 2010 to 2014.

SHELAGH MCFARLANE:

he is running because he believes those in the local government need to make decisions regarding the budget that take into account residents that are struggling the most. He seeks to reduce property taxes and ‘unnecessary’ infrastruc ture projects. As a local business owner he believes this qualifies him to represent the city as its mayor. The rising cost of living is a main concern for Krusky.

aims to tackle affordability while improving the city’s infrastruc ture. Albabish proposes to lower or even pause municipal taxes, expand the healthcare system to cope with an increasing popula tion, repair roads as well as many other policies.

Mayoral candidates in Guelph:

CAM GUTHRIE: Cam is the cur rent mayor of Guelph. He was raised in Guelph and was elected mayor in 2014. He is focusing on the current affordability crisis and plans to continue to invest in safe ty (police, technology, and social

Shelagh currently volunteers for addiction services as a support worker. She has lived in Guelph since 2015 and is running in this election as she believes it is the best way to implement the chang es she would like to see. The main change McFarlane is campaign ing on is the need for a protec tive barrier between wards and global corporate takeover. She believes this would reduce the lines of authority being ‘blurred.’ This would allow ‘Global to local SDGs’ to be implemented faster.

JOHN EDWARD KRUSKY: Krusky is currently a private in vestigator and security consultant. He was raised in Guelph and re turned after college. Economic is sues are important to Krusky and

DANNY DREW: The recent death of Drew’s father and sale of his house has allowed him the time and energy to run in this election. This has also allowed Drew to participate in poverty relief work in Guelph. Drew originally came to Guelph to study and has stayed since. He is running to educate residents on various ‘capitalist crises’ including climate change, affordability crisis, and issues re lated to the pandemic. Drew views housing affordability as the key is sues residents are facing.

WILLIAM ALBABISH: Albabish is a professor that has lived in Guelph for over 15 years. He has a PhD in human anatomy, and he gives lectures part time. He

NICHOLAS A. ROSS: Ross pre viously ran for mayor in 2014. The housing crisis is a key issue for Ross as well as creating a more ‘walkable’ community and improved transit system. As a recipient of the Ontario Disabil ity Support Program, Ross would make several changes based off of his experiences. These include changes to labour laws and free post-secondary education for those with disabilities.

Councillor candidates in Guelph:

The university campus hous ing falls within ward 5. If you are living at home or living off cam pus in other parts of the city, you may live in a different ward. As of June 2021, the ward boundaries were adjusted and the city voted to keep twelve councillors, two per

Candidates – Who are you voting for?

ICONS BY FLATICON

Advanced

BY TAYLOR PIPE

There are six wards in total.

is a forum being held for city councillor candidates which allows voters to hear from the candidates in person. This is taking place at the 10C Shared Space at 42 Carden Street on Wednesday, Oct. 5, from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. for Wards 1, 2, and 3. Wards 4, 5, and 6 will be on Wednesday, Oct. 12. It will also be available to watch online. Registration is available through EventBrite.

LEANNE CARON: A current city council lor who works at the University of Guelph in student housing. She has served as a city councillor since 2006 and has lived in Guelph for over 30 years. Caron aims to continue initiatives she has already started during her previous time in government. These include the main branch library, community energy, and the cultural heri tage plan. Additionally, Caron would like to address concerns she has relating to fund ing for healthcare and social services, as well as veto powers and ministerial zoning orders. The impacts of climate change on Ward 5 is another high priority for Caron. She is promising clearer communication and balanced decision making.

CATHY DOWNER: Downer is a media tor and city councillor that has resided in Guelph for 45 years. She views the main issues facing voters in Ward 5 today as road safety, the protection of green spaces within the community, and the impacts of growth. Downer recognises that residents rank cli mate change high on their list of priori ties and she aims to continue to tackle this issue at the local scale. She also want to continue to utilise her years of experience building bridges between the local commu nity and local government.

DENESE RENAUD: Renaud is from Guelph and is a restaurant server who also obtained a diploma to be a law clerk. Re naud is running as she believes that the city council needs to be more fiscally respon sible to the residents of Guelph and also be more in touch with resident’s concerns. Honesty in government is important to Re naud as well as concerns surrounding tax increases, infrastructure and healthcare.

LANA HAINES: Haines works in corporate sales and has lived in Guelph since 1985. Fiscal responsibility and accountability in local government are important to Haines. She is raising a young family in Ward 5 so she believes she is facing the same issues as many of the voters. Inflation and safety are major concerns for Haines as well as mak ing sure the city’s infrastructure can cope with the growth seen in recent years.

ALEX GREEN: Green is an accountant that has lived in Guelph for ten years. He believes that the city is in need of a change of leadership, particularly concerning the amount of time taken to complete infra structure projects such as the library and rec centre. Green sees rising housing costs as a major issue as well as crime rates, par ticularly in the downtown areas. If elected, he seeks to change these issues.

HESHAM GENIDY: Genidy is a law pro fessor as well as a financial and business advisor and political analyst. He has lived in Guelph since 2013. Genidy views the

main issues facing residents of Guelph as housing affordability, road safety, public transport systems, increasing taxes, and parking. He proposes creating better part nerships and links between the actors in the housing crisis as a solution, such as between the city, U of G, and the private sector. Reducing or maintaining taxes are also high on his agenda.

School board candidates in Guelph

School boards are responsible for iden tifying and representing the educational needs of their associated community.

Guelph falls within the Upper Grand District School Board. There are 10 trustee seats available.

Where can I vote?

Ward 5 voting places:

• Water Street Church: 287 Water Street

• Harcourt Memorial United Church: 87 Dean Avenue

• Mary Phelan Catholic School: 8 Bish op Court

• École Élémentaire Catholique SaintRené-Goupil: 221 Scottsdale Drive

• Delta Hotels Guelph Conference Cen tre: 50 Stone Road West

• University of Guelph, University Cen tre: Reynolds Walk

• École Fred A. Hamilton Public School: 160 Ironwood Road

• St. Michael Catholic School: 9 McElderry Road

• Village by the Arboretum, Reid Hall: 33 Village Green Drive

• École Arbour Vista Public School: 200 McCann Street

Voting places in other wards can be found on the City of Guelph website.

Election Controversy

This election date clashes with Diwali which has caused some controversy. There are over one million people of South Asian descent living in Ontario. In Brampton, several of the candidates will be observing this holiday. This affects voters and can didates, and many of these campaigns rely on volunteers which may also be impacted. This has resulted in calls to move the elec tion date as there are concerns that it will impact voter turnout.

This issue does not only affect those that observe the holiday. Diversity impacts everybody and goes beyond candidate lists. Barriers to be able to vote which exclude certain demographics is reflected in the re sults of the election. One option for those that are affected by this clash is to vote in advance which would allow voters to com plete their ballot ahead of the election. This also allows voters to avoid queues on elec tion day.

Over the previous municipal elections in Ontario, voter turnout has been decreas ing. The Ontario provincial elections saw a 43 per cent turnout this year. It is more im portant than ever to participate in politics and exercise your right to vote.

Students have the opportunity to vote in two elections - one in their hometown, and one in the municipality they go to school in. CREDIT: PIXABAY

“A kind of paradise”: Writers festival makes a return to Eden Mills and inspires community and imagination

The Eden Mills Writers Festival featured a stunning selection of work, including debut novels from new authors and excerpts from U of G’s own Creative Writing MFA program

ELENI KOPSAFTIS

If you drive out of Guelph along Highway 7 for long enough, you’ll start to notice the treelines getting denser and the river flow ing faster. If you did so on Sept. 11 and hit the right twists and turns, you’d have found yourself in the middle of a tiny village absolutely bustling with people gathered for the Eden Mills Writers Festival.

Just east of Guelph, the vil lage of Eden Mills is a pictur esque community along the Era mosa River housing about 350 people. Life there is “beautiful and simple, a kind of paradise,” says their website. During an opening speech, mayor Christo pher White remarked to festival attendees that the village “finally got Wi-Fi.”

Every year on the second Sunday after Labour Day, the Eden Mills Writers Festival brings in folks from all over On tario and gives local writers and publishers the opportunity to showcase their work. Its organiz ers have been hard at work for over 34 years now, and since then they’ve strived to celebrate the power of words and nurture the next generation of writers.

After a two-year hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic, readers and writers alike were eager to be back.

This year, the festival opened with a performance by Kween alongside members of The Kween Company. Inspired by Jamaican

carnival festivals, the dancers gathered attendees to the town center and encouraged the crowd to shout ‘yeah-o’ along with them.

Following was a day packed with readings and talks by local writers across the village. At 1:45 p.m. outside The Mill was the Emerge! Event, featuring students from the University of Guelph’s Creative Writing MFA program, including Fatima Amarshi, Erica Isomura, Emily Kellogg, Quinn Mason, Michael Melgaard, and Blessing Nwodo. Each student read excerpts of their work, whether it be striking chapters from their novels or evocative pieces of their poetry.

The presenting MFA stu dents were welcomed by Canisia Lubrin, a U of G professor, poet, writer, and editor who said she was happy to see the crowd’s faces in the flesh instead of as pixels on a screen.

“We’re really proud of the trailblazing work and accomplish ments by our growing number of alumni,” said Lubrin. “They come from many places and offer a wide range of imaginations and experi ences to the program, so this is really wonderful for me to be able to welcome these six members of the cohort this year.”

In their work, many of the students tackled societal challeng es, like racism, sexism, and patri archy. Nwodo’s short story excerpt flipped the script on women’s ex

periences with harassment and gender inequality. Rather than men preying on women, the sto ry’s ‘simults’ preyed on men.

In the excerpt, a man heads home after dark, trying to look brave, crossing the street oppo site of a group of taunting wom en, placing his keys between his fingers, getting ready to yell ‘fire’ instead of ‘help’ “because that was what people would respond to.” The next day, he walks home with a woman who tells him that men who walk alone at night are stu pid.

“The world is dangerous for men and there’s no need for you guys to go out of your way to invite danger,” said the character. “You, on the other hand, are smart to walk home with me. You’re not like other men.”

Afterwards, Isomura read the poetry she’d written during the height of the pandemic which tackles mental health and climate grief. Before presenting her piece Remember when Amazon.com only sold books, she explained that she hailed from British Columbia and that the wildfires there have had a massive effect on the environ ment.

“Dopamine can trick my brain, but it can’t trick my lungs, my chest. It hurt so bad when wildfire smoke rose,” read Iso mura. “As white people stared at my asian face before complaining about made-in-China goods tak

ing too long to ship from Amazon during the COVID-19 pandem ic. Meanwhile, in an elementary school class, a child asks if they’re called Gen Z because they’re the last generation on the planet E.”

Between events, festival at tendees could walk along Publish er’s Way where The Bookshelf, Guelph’s own local bookstore, sold signed copies of the many works presented at the festival. Additionally, authors and pub lisher booths lined the street with a myriad of novels to sell.

Sylvia Barnard was one such author, showcasing her de but novel Rhubarb, Strawberries, and Willows. Having been to the Eden Mills Writers Festival two times before, Barnard put up a booth of her own now that she has a book to sell.

“When I was a kid, I wrote poetry which was terrible–it was that teenage, painful poetry–but I always loved to tell stories, and I lost that when I was working,” Barnard said to The Ontarion. “I knew [the novel] was going to be historical fiction because that’s what I really enjoy reading, and then I discovered that right where we were living on the Spanish River there had been a train de raillement in 1910.”

And so Barnard wrote her gripping tale of time travel and romance based on the Spanish River Train Disaster near Sud bury, Ontario.

“Writing is very much an iso lating job. You spend your whole

day in front of your computer and that's all you're interacting with. So to be able to sit down with oth er authors and go ‘oh yeah I had this problem’ and ‘my experience with publishers was the same’ has been great.”

The Eden Mills Writers Festival website can be found at edenmillswritersfestival. ca with future event information and ways to support the organization.

You can find Barnard’s work and information on where to buy Rhubarb, Strawberries, and Willows on her website at www.sbarnardauthor.ca.

The local writing communi ty–from within U of G’s Creative Writing program and out–is brim ming with talent and inspiration. Every single speaker, author, and publisher has their own unique story to tell, and the Eden Mills Writers Festival allows them to tell those stories to the world.

“I’ve done other events where I’ve shown my book, but they've been at farmer’s markets, christ mas markets, harvest markets, or music festivals, so there's always something else [going on]. It’s nice to have the focus just on books and on authors,” said Barnard.

“It’s just been so well orga nized and I really feel supported … Kudos to [the organizers]. It shows that they've really worked hard and long to have this happen.”

The events of the day kicked off with a lively performance from Kween & The Kween Company.PHOTOS BY ELENI KOPSAFTIS

During the festival, writer and U of G creative writing MFA student Erica Isomura performed her piece, Remember when Amazon.com only sold books.

Party registration aims to help off-campus students party smart

TAYLOR PIPE

The first big party of the school year, Homecoming, has come and gone. However, the next big event is just around the cornerHalloween.

The University of Guelph allows students to register their off-campus parties for big events like homecoming, halloween and St. Patrick’s Day. For off-campus students, this means you can en gage in celebrations safely and know all the tools of the trade that help minimize the chances of your party getting shut down, or getting a costly fine from the police.

The event, hosted by Off-Campus Living, is a tool for students to learn how to maintain safety and also ensure your party

doesn’t cramp the style of any of the community members in your neighborhood. It also teaches stu dents how to interact with officers and by-law officers in the event that they do show up to their party.

ter your halloween party and what registering your party means can be found online on the Off-Cam pus Living page on gryphlife.ca.

The next opportunity to reg ister parties through Off-Campus Living will be leading up to St. Patrick’s Day 2023.

For more information con tact student@uoguelph.ca.

Each session is held online, is free to students, and happens mul tiple times leading up to Halloween weekend, which is Oct. 29 - 30.

More details on how to regis

Registration comes with a consultation on how to minimize negative party experiences.

Registering your Halloween party with off-campus living gives students the opportunity how to party smart and learn how to minimize negative experiences.

PEXELS

ICONS BY FLATICON

A Q&A with three Research Excellence Awards recipients

The Research Excellence Awards offer the winners a chance to expand on their research efforts.

TAYLOR PIPE

biomarker identification, my research will facilitate the journey towards more person alized medicine.

What are you hoping will be the ulti mate outcome of your research?

I am hoping my research will lay the foundation for a transformative approach to the treatment of mental disorders: using brain wave patterns as biomarkers to iden tify at-risk individuals and improving the translation of novel treatments from the laboratory to the clinic.

I

n August, eight doctors from the Univer sity of Guelph were chosen to receive a Research Excellence Award. These awards celebrate the achievements of the research ers and provide them with $5,000 to con tinue their research efforts.

Dr. Sonj a Fonfara, Dr. Ali Dehghan tanha and Dr. Melissa Perreault are three recipients of the awards and did a short Q&A for The Ontarion to explain what the award means to them and for their re search.

Dr. Perrault

Can you briefly describe what you are researching?

I prefer to take an integrative approach to research, from the gene to the cell, the system, and behaviour to help gain insights into the development and treatment of neuropsychiatric and neurodevelopmental

disorders such as depression, schizophre nia, and autism spectrum disorders. My primary research focus is to understand sexual dimorphisms in these disorders and to identify sex-specific neurophysiological (brain wave) patterns that can be used as biomarkers to identify disorder states and function as an additional readout for the evaluation of novel therapeutics.

How does the research excellence award contribute to your research?

I am an Indigenous researcher in a field where there is almost no Indigenous representation on a national scale. I am hoping this award will elevate my national profile, not only to leverage opportunities for networking and advance my research, but to help empower Indigenous students to enter neuroscience, and foster a broader sense of inclusion in all fields.

How do you plan on achieving your re search goals?

I am hoping to develop more interna tional collaborations and lead large mul tidisciplinary team grants that include a clinical component for translation. I have also begun to explore more diverse research areas that combine my expertise in neuro science with other disciplines such as plant biology, microbiology, and ethics, which will expand my research dossier and bring alternative views and perspectives to my work.

How will your research benefit others in your field?

Preclinical research is important for understanding mechanisms of disease and the identification of novel targets. Howev er, translation to the human condition can often be difficult. I believe part of this dif ficulty comes with the lack of inclusion of female subjects in research. As females are fundamentally different from males across species, this has led to a significant knowl edge gap in our understanding of disease and how to successfully treat it. By taking a sex-specific approach to novel target and

Dr. Fonfara

Can you briefly describe what you are researching?

With my research I investigate how the structure and function of the cat heart changes with age and with heart disease, and whether this differs between female and male cats. The cardiac disease we are investigating is hypertrophic cardiomyop athy (HCM), which is the most common heart disease in cats. Despite being a com mon disease, very little is known about the changes that occur in the heart. Diagnosing the disease is often challenging, a trained veterinary cardiologist might be required and even between specialists there is little agreement. A treatment that prevents the disease or slows its progression is not avail able. Even less is known about how age and sex influence the heart in cats.

With our research we aim to improve this lack in knowledge. We obtain clinical data and investigate hearts in the laborato ry. Clinically, we collect information from routine examinations of the heart: ultra sound investigation of the heart, which is the gold standard in veterinary medicine to assess the heart. For our laboratory re search, we investigate hearts and blood samples from cats. We aim to identify genes that influence the structure and function of the heart and factors that result in activa tion or suppression of these genes.

Detecting which genes, factors and mediators are involved in the HCM disease process will enable optimization of diagnos tic tests and the development treatment op tions. Identifying the influence of age and sex on the heart will help to detect factors that might predispose cats to heart disease, and it will support the management of old er cats that might require veterinary care.

How does the research excellence award contribute to your research?

The award raises awareness of our re search national and internationally. This will enable contacts and collaborations we

have not had before. These collaborations will allow to address aspects of our research that are beyond our capabilities and exper tise, and this will add to our research and support its development. The award will help with the recruitment of students to our group, which has been a bit of a chal lenge in the past, and it will support grant applications and obtaining funding for our research.

How do you plan on achieving your re search goals?

Our research group consists of a great team of clinicians, DVSc, PhD and MSc students that collectively contribute to our research. Continuing to support and recruit smart and creative post-graduate students, and expanding and strengthening our team will enable the progression and further development of our research, and with it achieving our research goals. We will con tinue our internal and international col laboration with the University in Zurich and expand collaborations to add to and complete our research program. Obtaining funding to carry out and support our proj ects will enable achieving our goals, and we will present and publish our research nationally and internationally to continue raising awareness and share results.

How will your research benefit others in your field?

Very little is known about how the heart ages, potential sex differences and the cellular changes that occur in the heart with HCM. With our research we are only at the beginning of exploring this complex and interesting area. The results of our re search will provide information that can contribute to the work of other research ers and might provide the basis of research projects of other researchers. Feline HCM is similar to human HCM, which makes our research applicable to human HCM; our results might therefore also contribute to the work of researchers studying HCM in humans.

Improving the knowledge of changes in the heart that occur with age will be of relevance for clinically managing cats and will therefore benefit general veteri nary medicine. Similarly, optimizing the diagnostic possibilities for the disease and identifying treatment options will benefit

the veterinary community widely as current diagnostic tools are suboptimal and treat ment is symptomatic only.

What are you hoping will be the ulti mate outcome of your research?

By improving the knowledge of the cellular processes in the heart, the aim is to identity how the heart ages and how HCM develops and progresses. The ultimate aim is to develop reliable diagnostic options that can be widely applied and are not limited to a referral setting and to identify treat ment options, and with this to improve the health and welfare of cats. We further aim to apply our approach to different species, and to expand on the translational aspect of our research and with it contribute to research in human medicine.

Dr. Dehghantanha

Can you briefly describe what you are researching?

My research is focused on Cybersecu rity, more specifically on securing critical infrastructure and deep fake identification

How does the research excellence award contribute to your research?

This award provides further recogni tion for my research program and the fund ing can help in improving the research in frastructure.

How do you plan on achieving your re search goals?

We are expanding our research by hir ing more graduate students and extending collaboration with companies in the field!

Stop! This interactive story begins on page 1.

How will your research benefit others in your field?

My research program provides critical infrastructure operators with security tech nologies that will reduce attack response time and labor costs, as well as mitigate cy ber damage.

What are you hoping will be the ulti mate outcome of your research?

To further enhance Canada's global reputation as a net exporter of cybersecu rity solutions and a leader in critical infra structure security.

You go up to the house. Before you’re able to extend your reach to the decaying doorknob, you hear a loud thud and the door slowly creaks open.

You look around at the inside of the home as you walk inside. It has been abandoned for quite some time. The wallpaper is peeling and graffiti is all over. The air suddenly gets colder.

You hear a second loud thud. You turn around and see that the front door has now slammed shut. You try to steady your breathing.

To your right is a large wooden staircase. You touch the railing and feel sticky spider webs. You take your phone out of your pocket and turn on the flashlight to investigate further.

You shine the light on the steps, which are still intact. You turn and shine your light on the door.

Do you go upstairs or run away?

Go inside & upstairs on page 14

Run away on page 20

Dr. Sonja Fonfara’s research focuses on how the hearts of cats can change with age and heart disease. She is focusing on hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, the most common type of heart disease found in cats. CREDIT: UNSPLASH

Should Ontario privatize its healthcare system?

Workers, health associations, and local politicians agree that privatizing healthcare in Ontario will decrease the quality of care and further exacerbate the health crisis

ELENI KOPSAFTIS

Every day since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, the On tario health care system has been pushed closer and closer towards the brink of what it can take.

Emergency room wait times are averaging at about 20.7 hours per patient, and hospital staff short ages have health departments call ing on volunteers to fill nursing shifts, according to CTV News. To mitigate the effects of this health care crisis, the Ford government is leaning into privatizing the public system, but is this really the right call?

As it is now, Ontario’s health care system is covered by Ontario’s health care plan–known better as OHIP–which is paid for by yearly taxes. On the provincial website, you’ll find that OHIP will pay for a number of programs and services such as doctor’s visits, surgeries, ambulance services, and much more.

Although OHIP doesn’t seem to be going away soon, one of Pre mier Doug Ford’s solutions to the healthcare crisis so far has been to open private clinic surgeries.

This move has representatives from the Ontario Health Coalition concerned. In an August statement, Executive Director Natalie Mehra called for a public process into any further privatization.

“Taking staff out of our pub lic hospitals to serve private clinics

that have a business model that is about cherry picking the profitable patients and leaving the expensive patients behind with less staff and less resources to serve them is an absolutely reckless and asinine idea,” said Mehra in the statement. “We will not, under our watch, al low them to privatize the public hospital system in Ontario.”

into our healthcare system and are targeted to care for people and to ensure that the people who are pro viding that care are taken care of as well,” said Schreiner.

So if not privatization, what measures should Ontario be taking to stop the healthcare crisis instead?

First of all, Schreiner says that much of the crisis is driven by Bill 124.

Mike Schreiner, Canadian MPP and Guelph representative, has also spoken against privatiza tion in Ontario.

In an interview with The On tarion, Schreiner noted that for-prof it long-term care homes were hit much harder by the pandemic than public homes. In fact, a 2020 study by the Canadian Medical Associa tion Journal found that the death rate in private homes was over four times the rate of public ones.

“When it comes to the caring professions, we should put care be fore profit and make sure that all the money, all our tax dollars, go

Ontario’s Bill 124 was intro duced by the Ford government in 2019 and caps annual salary in creases for nurses and other public sector workers at one per cent, ac cording to Toronto City News. The bill has been criticized by nurse associations, saying it “demoralizes and undermines our profession” and has contributed to nursing pro fessionals leaving their positions. The CBC also reports that the bill does not apply to First Nations and Indigenous communities or for-prof it companies.

Public-sector workers are cur rently challenging the constitution ality of the bill, saying that it has “taken away meaningful collective bargaining, thereby violating the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.” However, the province argues that the charter only protects the process of bargaining and not the outcome, and that the bill does not prevent workers from “joining together to bargain” through strike or arbitration.

Stop! This interactive story begins on page 1.

“What I would [suggest] would be to repeal Bill 124 and allow nurs es and family healthcare workers to negotiate fair wages, fair benefits, and better working conditions,” said Schreiner.

“And I think we need to have some targeted and strategic invest ments that in the short-term would increase funding to the healthcare system and in the long-term would help us save on money and improve care, and in particular, investing more in home and community care.”

In the meantime, no further

measures to privatize healthcare in Ontario have been announced, but should that change, the Ontario Health Coalition warns that it will only cause further staff shortages in the public sector.

“We want a list, we want to know who they are meeting with, it’s in the public [interest] that there be full disclosure about this,” said Mehra, demanding there be a public process to any further pri vatization. “We want to force the process out into the open so that it doesn’t happen behind closed doors before anyone can stop it.”

You keep walking past the house. Eventually you come across a cemetery, but you still aren’t sure where you are. An old man walks by you, and you ask him for directions. He says to go north to get back downtown, so you follow his directions.

On the way back downtown a black cat crosses your path. You run to catch up with it. The cat meows at you and headbutts your legs, weaving in between them.

You continue going north and notice the cat has followed you. You turn around, bend your knees in a squat and pet the cat. It purrs. You continue walking and the cat trots alongside you.

You and the black cat walk for quite some time, until you end up at your apartment door. The cat has followed you home.

You look down at the cat and it looks back up at you. With a shrug, you open your apartment door. The cat happily runs inside.

You keep the cat and name her Fang. Every night she cuddles with you while you sleep. The cat has become your best friend and the two of you live happily ever after.

Ontario’s Bill 124 was introduced by the Ford government in 2019 and caps annual salary increases for nurses and other public sector workers at one per cent.

CREDIT: PEXELS

ICON BY FLATICON

System outage affects University of Guelph campus

ELENI KOPSAFTIS

Computing and Communica tions Services (CCS) investi gated an outage of multiple uni versity systems on the University of Guelph’s campus on Sept. 12. No cause was identified, and the university resolved the outage af ter three days.

According to updates from the U of G news website, affect ed systems included debit and credit systems, parking systems, VPN access to university systems, Eduroam, shared file storage and CFS file shares, and printing at the library.

Courses continued regardless of the incident since most univer sity websites such as CourseLink, Gryph Mail, Office 365, and ser vices protected by Single-Sign on were not affected by the outage.

Debit and credit purchasing and parking systems were the first systems to be restored, and the rest were fixed in the following

days of the incident.

Although the University of Guelph is a cashless campus, Hospitality Services dining loca tions at the University Centre and Creelman Hall were temporarily accepting cash during the outage. Other Hospitality Services din ing locations were only accepting Campus Cards. The Bookstore and Gryph’s Locker were tempo rarily closed, but they reopened as soon as the debit and credit sys tems were resolved.

On-campus parking con tinues to require permits, and Parking Services have resumed checking for permits on parked vehicles.

Updates were provided to students via Intranet and through email. Any further questions on the matter can be directed to the CCS Help Centre https://ithelp. uoguelph.ca/it-help.

out and

After three days, the University resolved the outages of multiple systems, including debit.

PHOTO BY TAYLOR PIPE

&

How to: Throw a successful friendsgiving

TAYLOR PIPE

T

hanksgiving is a time to get together with friends and family, eat your faces off and reconnect with one another. This year, students are on campus and might not have the opportunity to go home and be with their loved ones.

Throwing a friendsgiving can be a great way to still feel that sense of family, especially when you’re away from home. After all, when you’re in university, your

1. See who wants to participate

It might seem like an obvious step, but you’ll want to have a headcount of who will actually come to your friendsgiving. This will give you an idea of how much food and drink you might need, and how to split up duties amongst friends.

2. Decide on the type of food you’re serving and find out about dietary restrictions

Do you want to do a traditional thanks giving feast? Finger foods? Hot dogs and Hamburgers? It all depends on your guests!

If you have friends that are vegetarian or vegan, that’ll definitely impact the type of food you’re going to serve. Some roasted vegetables can go a long way, or a butternut squash soup could be a hit for crowds with dietary restrictions.

3. Distribute the tasks

The best part of doing a potluck friendsgiving is that you don’t have to do absolutely everything yourself. You don’t have to spend all day looking over a turkey, or googling how to properly stuff it. You can really do whatever you want! Give your friends specific instructions when you’re delegating the tasks. Is Noah bringing the plates and cutlery? Tell Madison to bring the appetizers and have Carlee bring a des sert. If everyone does their part, everything will go smoothly.

4. Plan the decor

Hosting a friendsgiving is a great way to feel the love within your chosen family if you’re unable to make it home for the holiday.

ICON BY FLATICON

Brisson,

Judith A. Brisson, O.D. P. Lynne Leis, O.D. Reita Thomas-Parel, O.D. Violet Zawada, O.D. Jianchang (Iris) Shen, Optometrist

Now that all the necessary food items are being taken care of, you can think about the type of decor you want to go with. Don’t worry about wowing your guests with intricate cornucopia’s or elaborate wreaths. Friendsgivings are low-key and a trip to the dollar store can be a lifesaver for affordable decorations. A fun fall-themed tablecloth, a few candles and maybe even a string of fake leaves can bring all the vibes to your friendsgiving table.

5. Confirm and enjoy

The day before your dinner, confirm with your friends. It’s important that you have peace of mind while you’re doing what you can to organize a fun event for

everyone. Once you know that everyone is on track for your dinner, it’s time to deco rate, kick back and make yourself a drink. When your friends arrive, make sure you have a place for the items they bring. If you’ve told them to come at a certain time, expect it to get a little hectic when setting up their items.

The best part of university is the friends you make. Hosting a friendsgiv ing is a perfect way to let them know that they’re appreciated. If it goes off without a hitch, great! And even if it’s a complete disaster, just know you’ll have funny mem ories to look back on and a great story to tell at thanksgivings to come.

Stop! This interactive story begins on page 1.

You choose to go upstairs. The light from your phone helps you see the next level of the house as you as cend. You see three different doors. One has scratch marks and is boarded up, the other is covered with red handprints. The third door is still in pristine condition and you can see the candle light peaking through the cracks of the doorframe.

You instinctively stay away from the other ominous doors. As you approach the door that will lead to the candle light room you hear a sound… Is that typing? You know deep within this is your final chance to bail before your life is changed forever. You can feel something within you that is calling you to open the door.

Do you open the door or run for your life? Open the door on page 30 Run for your life on page 24

Having a successful potluck party can be intimidating, but these tips can help you celebrate thanksgiving with your chosen family with ease

ILLUSTRATION BY PAIGE STAMPATORI

the

HOCO

Procrastination and a case of the Sunday scaries

Tips on how to overcome procrastination when deadlines are looming during the fall semester

CHEN CHEN

H

onouring the Halloween month, I am sharing something that was scarier to me than ghosts and monsters. Something that is real, and that is procrastination. When I was a student, I suffered a lot from procrastination. The thought of starting to work on final projects was dreadful, and I often made excuses to put it off to the last minute.

A few days before the deadline, I would feel the enormous pressure from the deadline, eat a lot of cakes, and pull all-nighters to get them done. It was pain ful and exhausting. After I turned in the assignment by the deadline, I would think that the assignment was not as challenging as I thought it would be and wished that I had started earlier. If this resonates with

The Procrastination Process

Let’s start by understanding the pro cess of procrastination. The usual process of procrastination involves the following steps: First, we think of the important project that we need to work on. Then, the thought of starting to work on the project triggers unpleasant feelings such as anx iousness, discomfort, and avoidance.

With the unpleasant feelings, you come up with excuses such as “I will do it tomorrow” or “I work better under pres sure”, then you push off the task and switch to do other lower priority tasks. The guilt built up in you and the more you delay the task, the less likely you are going to do it.

TASK

Tips on Overcoming Procrastination

When it comes to breaking the cycle of procrastination there are many things we can do. The following tips might be es pecially helpful if you’re prone to binging Netflix instead of working on your assign ments.

Starting small.

The thought of getting started on the entire task for hours can be daunting. How ever, we can limit the task by just starting to work on a small piece of it. We can try to set a timer (minimal work session) to get started with the task for just 10, 15, or 20 minutes. You can start to build up the mo mentum from there and lessen the burden of having to start for too long.

Focus on the process, not the product.

off, try to use the excuse as a cue for you to work for just 10 minutes. Whenever you catch yourself saying “I am feeling too tired to do it today”, try to work on the task for just 10 minutes and see how you feel. You will find that you can actually get a lot of things done in just 10 minutes, or even gain a clearer idea on the next step required for the task.

Practice discomfort tolerance.

UNPLEASANT FEELINGS

UNHELPFUL ASSUMPTIONS AND EXCUSES

This is a mindset that’s helpful to develop when it comes to procrastination. Sometimes, we will hear ourselves say that “I cannot do this”, “this is too difficult” and by thinking about those, we are focused on the final product such as the complete es say, the entire project etc. Instead, we can train our mind to focus on the next mini mal step that we can put into the project. We can do so by changing our internal di alogue to focus on “what is the next step I can take?”, “What can I contribute for just 10 minutes?”. Rome is not built in one day, so as any complex projects. Just like we build a building by laying one brick at a time, we are putting together our projects by contributing to it one piece at a time.

Getting started with the task is un comfortable. Sometimes we will just have to change our expectations and learn to toler ate the temporary pain that comes with life. Oftentimes, the most difficult time about procrastination is the first 15 minutes of getting into the zone. Once we get started, we might realize that things are not as dif ficult as we expected. Therefore, increas ing our ability to tolerate pain is important. We can develop discomfort tolerance skills by practicing mindfulness. We can start to notice the existence of discomfort and try to breathe with it. As we try to deal with the discomfort, we might increase our ability to coexist with them and perhaps reduce the discomfort.

DELAYING TASK

Challenging the unhelpful excuses.

Ultimately, the anti-dose for procras tination is to get started. As you notice yourself saying the excuses to push the task

Procrastination is a big topic and there are many strategies that can help you to overcome it. Try different strategies and see which one works the best for you! Also try to observe your own procrastination patterns: Listen to what excuses you often use and try to challenge them. Also try to practice skills that can help you get start ed! Hopefully by next Halloween, you can enjoy the fun of Halloween and don’t feel haunted by tasks and procrastinations!

When it comes to procrastinating, identifying the reasons why you procrastinate is a key component to overcoming it.

PHOTO BY TAYLOR PIPE

Celebrate Halloween with punny DIY Halloween costumes

LOREL DANIELOV

W

ith October looming, the season for Halloween cos tumes is at bay. All the good Hal loween costumes are getting sold quickly, and all the popular ones are being overdone. It's hard now adays to find something you like, but that's also original and afford able.

Although wanting the coolest costume sounds very appealing, getting your hands on one can be more complicated than it seems to be. This is because, just like you, everyone wants to have the most incredible costume, but they fail to remember that not only is there such a high demand for costumes, but there is also a high demand for affordable costumes. And in recent years, those have been hard to come around at stores like Spir it Halloween.

A good alternative for you this year is to start DIY-ing your own Halloween costume. That way, you won't have to worry about cost or someone else having the same costume as you. So let's look at some step-by-step easy DIY cos tumes you can make and wear this Halloween season!

Ceiling fan

• To create this costume, you only need a marker, a plain t-shirt, and a couple of pom poms. Start by writing the word ‘ceiling’ in big letters right on the front of your shirt, grab some pom poms, and boom, you’re ready to leave the house! You can even spice it up by making a sign with your own cheer to go along!

Jelly beans

• If you aren’t as concerned about mobility, a funny cos tume you could do is a bag of jelly beans. All you’ll need to find is a large clear plastic bag and some multicoloured balloons. Start by cutting two arm holes in the sides of the bag and then two leg holes in the bottom closing of the bag. Then you’ll need to blow up some of those multicoloured balloons, but try to keep them relatively small. Then step into the bag and throw those balloons inside with you.

• You can even print/draw out a label for your pack of jelly beans to go on the front of the bag. This is another one of those perfect costumes for having fun and being orig inal because, I mean, who wouldn’t want to be a pack of jelly beans?

Blessing in disguise

• Another great and punny cos tume is to be a blessing in disguise. Firstly, you'll need to write the word 'blessing' on a t-shirt. Then, it's time to get creative! With whatever you have lying around the house, create a disguise. A silly pair of glasses, hat, mustache, etc., would all work perfectly! You can have fun with this part. Plus, this costume creates the perfect excuse to introduce yourself as a blessing in dis guise to everyone you meet that night.

Bulletin board

Breadwinner

• Last but not least, my personal favourite DIY costume is to be a breadwinner. All you need to do is get your hands on medals, trophies, or ribbons and carry some bread with you. This costume is not only funny and easy but also tasty!

•

Chip on your Shoulder

• Have you ever been told that you have a chip on your shoulder? Well, why not turn that expression into a witty costume that is perfect and simple enough for any last-minute costume ideas? You only need a plain t-shirt, your favourite chips flavour, and some tape to create this look. Begin by taping the chips to your shoulder, and believe it or not, but that's all you need to do! So if there is ever a time to have a chip on your shoulder, this is it!

• Another costume where you can get creative is to be a bulletin board. This is very straightforward, just wear whatever clothes you like, and then stick a bunch of post-it notes to yourself. The fun part is choosing what to write on them. For something a little more personalized and tailored to yourself, you could carry a pen, and a pack of post-it notes, have people sign their name or even write little personal messages on them and then stick them to you to get the bulletin effect. That way, this costume can live on forever through your messages, but maybe take the sticky notes off after Hallow een is over

Honestly, you can’t go wrong with any of these Halloween cos tumes because they are so cute, they can be so personalized and best of all, they are easy and afford able. All in all sounds like a win to me. And you’ll be feeling the win too by choosing one of these punny DIY costumes this year.

Don’t stress this Halloween season with what to wear because we have six of the best costumes lined up and waiting for you

Being

personality.

PHOTO

TAYLOR PIPE

13 terrifying movies to watch before Halloween

Get ready to sleep with the lights on after watching these

PAULA HENRY-DURU

With Halloween less than a month away, here are 13 horror movies to get you prepared for the Spooky Season, with my fa vorite lines from each one.

9. Halloweentown (1998)

Upon turning 13, Marnie finds out she’s from a family of witches and is taken to Hallow eentown, where her grandma and other non-humans live. But there is trouble brewing in Halloweentown with a villain at large and people continue to go missing. Marnie must find a way to stop the villain because now both her worlds, the mortal and Halloweentown are at stake.

Favorite line: "Magic is really very simple, all you've got to do is want something and then let your self have it."

a way to end what she started and save her loved ones before it’s too late.

Favorite line: “You probably think this world is a dream come true, but you’re wrong.”

4. The Ritual (2017)

13. Friday the 13th (1980)

Twenty years after the grue some murders at a summer camp, a group of teen camp counselors arrive to reopen the camp in spite of warnings from the locals. Inev itably the murders resume by the same killer, and we can only watch as the counselors are picked off one by one.

Favorite line: “I’m a messenger of God. You’re doomed if you stay here.”

12. Absentia (2011)

After a woman’s husband has been missing for seven years, her sister comes to live with her as she prepares to declare him dead in absentia, but strange things start happening that makes her question if he, and all the other missing peo ple in the town, are really dead and what truly happened to them.

Favorite line: “I can’t go back in there.”

11. Us (2019)

While on their summer vaca tion, a family is attacked by another family that looks exactly like them. As they try to escape their doppel gangers and fight for their lives, a bigger plot unfolds and we begin to question how far these doppelgang ers will go to get what they want.

Favorite line: “It’s us.”

10. Haunt (2019)

On Halloween night, a group of friends go to a haunted house and what starts out as fun, with cool props and actors, turns into something else entirely. The friends realize they need to get out as soon as possible but the “actors” in this haunted house have other plans.

Favorite line: “It’s a bit of a work in progress, but, oh, I think you’ll like it.”

8. A Tale of Two Sisters (2003)

Two girls return home from a mental institution to their father and stepmother, and have to deal with ghosts, conflicts between their stepmother, and the realization that everything is not as it seems.

Favorite line: “There’s some thing strange in this house.”

7. The Fear Street Trilogy (2021)

Depicting different timelines and set in the town of Shadyside over the course of about 300 years, the movies track the encounter, manifestation and origins of the same curse that has tormented the town for so long.

Favorite line: “They think we’re guilty so we are.” (Part 3)

6. The Shining (1980)

The protagonist here is a struggling writer spending the win ter in an isolated hotel as its care taker with his family. Although he is warned of the hotel’s gruesome history about the former winter caretaker upon arriving, he waves it off and in a horrifying repeat of events, madness, visions and death ensue.

Favorite line: “Wendy, I'm home.”

5. Coraline (2009)

Featuring jumping mice, a portal to another world and people with buttons for eyes, Coraline is about a girl who moves to a new house and whose parents are seem ingly too busy for her. She stumbles upon another ‘better’ world with replicas of everyone she knows, but living in this new world comes at a high price and a sinister plan be gins to unfold. Coraline must find

In the wake of their friend’s death, a group of old friends plan a hiking trip but get lost in the forest after taking a shortcut into it. fig ure out a way out of the forest as an unseen creature stalks and influ ences them. But something sinister is afoot, and they must find a way to escape the forest before they are all dead.

Favorite line: “Shut up. You’ve not broken your nose alright.”

3. It (2017)

A group of friends try to face a supernatural being in the form of a clown who has been responsible for all the child disappearances and deaths in their town over the years.

Favorite line: “I'm not real enough for you?”

2. The Babadook (2014)

Trouble begins for a mother and her son when they are tor mented by a creature that mani fested from a children’s book that appeared out of nowhere. As they struggle with this presence living in their house, the mother must come to terms with her own unre solved issues.

Favorite line: “I’ll wager with you, I’ll make you a bet. The more you deny, the stronger I get.”

1. The VVitch: A NewEngland Folktale (2015)

Set in the 1630s, a family moves to live at the edge of a for est after they are excommunicated from their religious group. Within the first ten minutes, the youngest child, still a baby, disappears, and everything else goes downhill for this family as tension builds up and discord abounds. An unset tling presence forever looms in the background, until the end when its effect on the family can no longer be ignored.

Favorite line: “Sleep. All will be well, sleep.”

Stop! This interactive story begins on page 1.

Before stopping to think if you should go inside you run away. You bolt your way down the porch steps but feel something get snagged. Your jeans are caught on a rusty nail. You shimmy and shake trying to get it loose - but it’s too late. You see flashing before your eyes. When your vision clears up, you see your friend Jackson is there, taking a video, pointing and laughing.

“Ha! We got you good there,” he said.

“I’ve gotta put this on TikTok! You were so scared, bro!”

The next day you wake up and find out you’ve gone viral after Jackson set you up. Everybody recognizes you as the guy who ran out of a house and face planted. You devote the rest of your life to creating prank TikToks and become an influencer. You now have 187 million followers. You often think about that time you went up to a creepy house, got scared and you thank your lucky stars you decided to get out of there.

The End

Number three on the list is It, the 2017 adaptation of Stephen King’s horror novel about friendship and overcoming fears. CREDIT: UNSPLASH

Hunting for ghouls and ghosts with Guelph Urbex

Looking for supernatural encounters in the heart of the historical royal city

JAIDYN MCCRAE

Lined with aging century homes and quirky shoppes, Guelph’s downtown core is nothing if not charming. Founded in 1827, our city has stood for almost two hun dred years, making it an incredibly valuable spot for some interesting history.

guided tours with a focus on spooky history. After clearing the idea with local law enforcement, Taylor set out to our libraries in search of use ful information for his tours.

He was greeted with a stack of archival records, much of it detail ing personal accounts from Guelph residents of ghostly activity. Taylor noted that a lot of people were hap py and eager to share their stories of what they had experienced and in a remark of appreciation for librar ian’s, Taylor said that these firsthand accounts would otherwise be “lost in history”.

was an understatement. I couldn’t believe so many of Guelph’s prop erties had a hidden history I knew nothing about. I started thinking about all the other buildings I’ve passed that probably had thousands of untold stories.

If you pay close enough at tention, you can see this history everywhere you look. Many of the established and enduring buildings dotting downtown Guelph’s road ways are designated heritage sites. This means that the city not only understands their historical worth, but also fights to preserve it. These relics stand as a testament to a past filled with incredible stories and questionable local legends just wait ing to be explored.

While digging through ar chives and conducting interviews doesn’t quite sound like my ver sion of a great Friday night, the same cannot be said for Greg Tay lor, founder of the Ghost Walk of Guelph and resident spooky histo rian. According to Taylor, his tours began as a way to discover more about our city’s history. Since 2013, Taylor has led intrigued groups of locals and tourists in search of a spooky evening around Guelph’s downtown core.

Ghost walks are a fairly com mon attraction for those interested in spooky tales of a time long since passed. This is especially true in the fall, where paranormal-enthusiasts and intrigued locals alike gather to hear more about the stories of their own neighbourhoods.

You might’ve actually seen a ghost tour yourself; usually clad in black cloaks and wielding a lan tern, ghost tour guides aren’t hard to miss. At the time, Taylor notes that Guelph didn’t have any other

From there, Taylor took to the streets determined to curate a col lection of these stories for his tour’s narrative. This is exactly what I ex perienced when I joined one of Tay lor’s nightly ghost walks; a haunt ingly beautiful collection of local accounts and fascinating historical tales.

ICONS BY FLATICON

When our tour came to an end, Taylor took the time to answer all of our questions. I asked him if there were any other stories he hadn’t told us that he thought we might enjoy, and he answered with a definitive, yes. What was usually an hour-long walk turned into two as we travelled to a few other stops we hadn’t visited yet.

We began at Guelph Central Station. Built in 1911, the train sta tion has since served as a trademark feature of downtown. At 8 o’clock sharp, I climbed the small hill to its front steps to find Taylor and the rest of our troop, eagerly antici pating the eerie night ahead. Dusk had just begun to fall and I start ed to feel the strange and uncanny sensation of knowing something spooky was afoot.

Armed with his trusty golden lantern and never ending supply of local lore, Taylor led our small group to Guelph sites that I had always seen in passing but never thought too much about. From the Armoury, to the Albion Hotel, to the Norfolk Manor, Greg unveiled story after story of paranormal sightings. To say I was intrigued

We ended our walk standing on an overlook above the river. The moon shone brightly overhead as Taylor concluded his tale of a 1950’s era ghost that is often spotted on the road just up ahead. I looked over to the friend I urged to tag along to see her eagerly questioning where we could find the spot and how we could see the phantom. It seems the Halloween bug had caught her too.

Do I believe in ghosts? The answer to that question lies some where between yes and no, not quite sure, and why not? I asked Taylor the same question and he explained that he too wasn’t sure where he fell on the spectrum. However, he notes that there are just too many stories worldwide for there to be nothing to them.

Whether or not you believe in ghosts, there’s always fun to be had hearing a good spooky story or two. This Halloween, I encourage you to hear some of these local legends for yourself and join one of the Ghost Walk of Guelph’s nightly tours. You might even spot a ghost yourself!

SHEBAD, the best baddest band you didn’t know about

Co-founders Mark Spagnolo and Claire Voy spoke with The Ontarion about all things SHEBAD, including their upcoming EP, show us it’s real

TAYLOR PIPE

From jamming in The Bull Ring to Kazoo! Fest, playing on John ston Green during O-Week, and releasing their first EP, SHEBAD has been taking the Guelph music scene by storm.

Mark Spagnolo, bassist and co-founder of SHEBAD explained that he and fellow co-founder and vocalist, Claire Voy knew each oth er from taking a class together at the University of Guelph campus.

Spagnolo played in a jazz trio and performed sets in The Bull Ring. He knew Voy was a vocalist, and one day he asked her to jam.

“After that we said ‘yeah this is working, let’s write some stuff,’” Spagnolo said.

Voy explained that both she and Spagnolo are heavily inspired by jazz. They both credit the genre with influencing SHEBAD’s signa ture sound.

But the duo also credited ev ery person who has been a part of SHEBAD along the way. They describe themselves as a mu sical collective that allows everyone the freedom to explore their creativ ity.

“I think that we just know so many talented musicians and art ists, creatives, just people in the community who want to be a part of something like this,” Voy said. “I

feel like music is such a great foun dation for so many other art forms to kind of branch out.”

Voy also creates the band’s album artwork, which plays with colour and is a synesthetic experi ence in itself. Another artform that comes from the roots of SHEBAD’s collective music experience is their performances.

Voy said that when the band began playing live shows post-pan

demic, there were nine members that would perform.

“We just wanted as many peo ple involved as we can, even though it’s hard,” Voy said.

SHEBAD brought six of their original nine members out to per form with them in B.C. late this past summer. They narrowed their six-piece down to a saxophone and trumpet player, a keyboardist, a drummer, and background vocalist with Spagnolo on bass and Voy on lead vocals.

“They [the original ensemble] always have a place here in some way. We’re always wanting to keep them feeling like they’re a part of it,” Voy said. “Really because it’s just such a beautiful project.”

However, Spagnolo and Voy took the lead when it came to re cording their material, most of which was done during the pan demic. The songs they’ve been creating have been unfolding for the past two years and have gone through many versions before the final product.

Terra, the first single from SHEBAD’s upcoming EP has over 127,000 streams on Spotify. PHOTOS PROVIDED BY SHEBAD

Spagnolo said while recording Terra, the first single off the band’s upcoming EP, he had doubts about the translation from live to in-stu dio.

“I remember there was a mo ment in time where I was like, ‘this feels like an energy ball,’’ he said. “[I was] like, it just feels like way too much nerdy stuff and it has too many risky things.”

Voy said that the music takes on a form of its own and that’s where, as artists, they have to re lease some control. She also added that she strives to create a space for the LGBTQ+ community within SHEBAD’s music.

“I feel like being queer - that extends into my music,” Voy said.

“Like, that extends into the way I create music, the way I feel about music and how I feel in my body as a musician presenting on stage… It just runs through my soul in so many ways.”

Spagnolo echoed that senti ment and said that SHEBAD”s music often resonates with mem bers of the LGBTQ+ community. He said he feels happy to be adja cent to something that brings space for that gender curiosity and exper imentation.

“Yeah, I think experimenting is a big part and malleability,” Voy added. “I think that extends into identity and relates heavily to music and performance.”

SHEBAD’s funky soul roots

continuously pushed the boundar ies during performances at Kazoo! Fest and playing alongside popu lar musicians like Jessia and Dear Rouge at the Ignite Concert Series in Fergus this summer. Both Voy and Spagnolo said these perfor mances were humbling experiences and gave them the opportunity to connect with new fans. They also had a full-circle moment when they played on Johnston Green during O-week this year.

However Voy and Spagnolo said that none of this would have happened without their own hard work. They both also acknowledged that they wouldn’t be at their cur rent level if not for their failures.

“It’s like, the emotional work

of getting to know yourself and your partner that you’re doing it with and the emotional work of being bad at leading and being bad at mixing and recording,” Spagnolo said. “You want everything to be at a certain level right away and you constantly have to remind yourself that it isn’t going to be.”

They also mentioned the anxi ety that comes with putting a piece of your art into the world for others to see or listen to. Spagnolo refer enced their experience while releas ing their EP’s first single, Terra.

“I remember saying I wanted to make it a song full of like, five songs and it feels like that when you listen to it,” Spagnolo said.

When the song got put on a

playlist, Spagnolo was certain it was a glitch.

“Yeah, here it is more than 100,000 [streams],” said Spagno lo. “It blows my mind because it’s such a silly song. It literally has me talking in it… and it’s cheeky, it’s ridiculous, but yet that’s what peo ple like, they like boldness.”

SHEBAD hopes to continue to showcase their boldness on their upcoming EP, show us it’s real, when it is released on Oct. 1. They hope to expand their reach and play more non-local shows in the future.

“Give us a minute and we’ll show you what we can do and so yeah, so I think that’s kind of where we’re headed,” Spagnolo said.

“I think that we just know so many talented musicians and artists, creatives, just people in the community who want to be a part of something like this,” Voy said. “I feel like music is such a great foundation for so many other art forms to kind of branch out.”

Gryphons homecoming loss doesn’t stop the party

The gryphons lost 11 - 62 to the Queen’s Gaels. TAYLOR PIPE

W

ith 8,500 fans in attendance for the first homecoming show since the pandemic, the gryphon’s put up a fight but ultimately lost the game. The annual tradi tion has been a huge part of campus culture for years and students often look forward to attending the game and the party after ward.

However, the Queen’s Gaels proved they were a force to be reckoned with when they slammed the Gryphons and came out victorious with a 62 - 11 win.

Defensive back Anakin Guthrie and Harrison Bagayogo were the stars of the first half with interceptions against Queen’s quarterback, James Keenan.

During halftime, Canadian country singer and songwriter, Nate Haller im pressed fans with his covers of songs like Stay by The Kid Laroi featuring Justin Bieber. He also played a couple original songs and spoke to the crowd about having “somewhere to drink,” which is a riff on his popular song with Canadian country group The Reklaws.

Overall, the fourth-ranked Queen’s football team beat the Gryphons by a total of 51 points.

The Gryphons’ next kick off is at home against the McMaster Marauders on Oct. 7. They will also be playing at Alumni stadium against the Carleton Ravens on Oct. 22.

The Ontarion is looking for a sports writer, if it wasn’t obvious from reading this story. Please email tpipe@ theontarion.com if you would be interested in contributing to our paper as a volunteer sports writer!

Stop! This interactive story begins on page 1.

You run down the stairs and out the door. You run as fast as you can down the front porch stairs. You keep running for your life. Even tually you come across a cemetery and think that might be a good short cut. You keep jogging as you go through the cem etery, looking at all of the tombstones. As you run by the tombstones, you notice the names seem very familiar. You stop dead in your tracks when you come across a large tomb stone with a name on it. It’s your name, how ever, ivy covers the years you died. You reach down to move the ivy, but lose your balance and fall straight into your own open grave. You begin to cry.

In the morning, you’re found by a grounds keeper. You undertake a vow of silence. No body knows what happened to you but you know you will never forget the feeling of look ing at the stars from six feet under.

The End

Although the Gryphons had some great interceptions during the first half of the game, that wasn’t enough to keep the Queen’s Gaels from winning this year’s homecoming classic. PHOTOS BY LAUREL JARVIS/GRYPHON ATHLETICS

An estimated 8,500 fans were in attendance for the first homecoming game since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. PHOTOS BY LAUREL JARVIS/GRYPHON ATHLETICS

Are Halloween costumes too provocative, or are you just slut- shaming?

LOREL DANIELOV

A

s October rolls around, so do the annual festivities and preparations for Halloween. The decorations, the parties, the can dy, and most importantly, the cos tumes.

You can pretty much guaran tee that a Spirit Halloween store will mysteriously appear in your local mall when October comes around. But that's the fun of Hal loween - the mystery.

Another big mystery of Hal loween I've been trying to crack for ages is what would make someone feel personally obliged to criticize provocative Halloween costumes. The controversy behind provocative Halloween costumes has been around for decades.

So, please tell me, what bac teria in the air makes people feel comfortable giving their opinion on whether they think your cos tume is appropriate or not?

Are women’s costumes in appropriate or are we just condi tioned to shame people choosing

to wear provocative costumes?

Beginning with the setting. Of course, like anything else, the setting matters. If you are hand ing out candy to young trick-ortreaters, maybe don't wear the sexy nurse outfit, but if you are heading to a Halloween costume party and want to rock that outfit, what's stopping you?

It's always important to con sider your audience before choos ing a costume. That way, it will make you and everyone else in volved feel comfortable.

However, remember that your idea of provocative might be different from another person’s. A leotard and cat ears can seem ris que to some, but can seem tame to others. The most important thing to remember is that it’s not your job to judge how others choose to dress.

Another essential idea we must consider is the effortless accessibility of risque Halloween costumes. Have you ever walked

FINANCIAL

down the women's section in a cos tume store? You can find an inde cent version of every costume you see. Sexy nurse? Yes. Cop? Yup. Skin-baring prisoner? Mhm. You name it, and it has probably been a costume.

So who should we be blam ing here? The client or the mar ket? But regardless, rightfully so, a grown person should be able to wear whatever they want without fearing judgment for being "too provocative" or, on the flip side, "too modest" when the whole point of this day is to have fun.

Your clothes don't define you, and neither does your Halloween costume. If you want to wear a cos tume and consider your audience, I say, do what makes you happy. Life is too short to be judging each other off of our Halloween cos tumes, whether they are modest or provocative. There is already too much negativity; Halloween costumes don't need to be another concern. Live your best life!

BURSARIES & NEED-BASED SCHOLARSHIPS

Apply by completing a Financial Need Assessment Form

Undergraduate applicants will be notified by late November and will have their award applied as a credit on their winter 2023 student account.

Graduate students will be notified in February 2023.

WORK STUDY PROGRAM

Apply by completing a Financial Need Assessment Form

The Work Study program allows you to gain valuable experience working for U of G departments while earning money at the same time! Apply to Student Financial Services by completing a Financial Need Assessment Form as soon as possible. Notifications are sent via email within days.

INFORMATION and APPLICATIONS can be found at uoguelph.ca/registrar/sfs

Contact awards@uoguelph.ca for more information

Whether you choose to bare it all, or cover it up for Halloween, remember that what others choose to wear is none of your business. CREDIT: PEXELS

TWIZZLERS

Aries’ are strong willed and in dependent creatures. They tend to work better alone than as part of a team and are determined to prove others wrong. Twizzlers are the perfect candy for an ari es as Twizzlers aren’t just a hal loween candy, but are an all the time candy. Licorice doesn’t need anything else to make it taste any better in the same way an aries doesn’t need anybody else to know it’s worth.

JOLLY RANCHERS

Taurus’ are chilled out, but also able to demonstrate an incredible work ethic. They have an incred ible intuition and are able to re main loyal and honest in their en deavours. This makes Taurus’ and Jolly Ranchers a perfect match as the varying flavours of Jolly Ranchers represent Taurus’ abil ity to remain true to themselves while showcasing their fierce tenacity and versatility in life.

SOUR PATCH KIDS

Gemini’s are incredible com panions and are often seen as social butterflies, but their bite can sting like a bee when they are wronged. They love hard and rarely forgive or forget. Sour Patch Kids are perfect for Gem inis as they are sweet but sour, much like the Gemini. They’re also incredibly popular and are a staple to any good Hallow een party - just like your Gemini bestie!

s

Cancers often present them selves as being tough, but every one knows under that hard exte rior is a softie who wants to give and receive love. They’re creative beings that like to mix things up when socializing. An M&M has a hard candy outside, but also has soft chocolate that nobody can see until the M&M opens up. Can cers are the same way and will show you their incredibly delicate chocolate center once you crack open their candy shell.

POTATO CHIPS

Leo’s are natural leaders and make for loyal friends. They’re charismatic and sometimes can make others feel intimidated. They truly think they’re all that in a bag of potato chips - and in this case, they are! They’re insanely confident, but it always pays off for them. However, much like a potato chip, Leo’s can easily be come salty and green with envy and they must work hard to not let their popularity go to their heads.

SKITTLES

Virgos are graceful and work hard on their outward appearance. More often than not, they seem like they have it all together and make their lives seem effortless. Virgos have the brains to back up their beauty and elegance. They’re also super fun to party with, which makes Virgos skit tles. They’re attractive and others are drawn to their wisdom. Much like a skittle, virgos are absolute sweeties and make those around them feel happy and at ease.

LIBRA

SEPT. 23 - OCT. 22

REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS

Libra’s can make friends with just about anyone. They’re naturals at socializing and often have large social circles. However, Libra’s can be mysterious at times and can overthink things often. Their popularity mirrors that of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, the #1 Hal loween candy. But underneath that chocolate is a creamy pea nut butter filling that proves that a Libra is just as wonderful on the inside as they are on the outside.

SCORPIO

OCT. 23 - NOV. 21

CAPRICORN

DEC. 22 - JAN. 19

Scorpio’s are authentic and can sometimes be blunt. They can often rub people the wrong way, but once you get to know a scorpio and become friends, you know they’ll always be real with you and have your back. Scor pios aren’t themselves when they’re hungry, which makes them perfect for Snickers bars. Much like the Snickers bar, the scorpio isn’t as intimidating as they look and they could even become your new bestie.

SAGITTARIUS

NOV. 22 - DEC. 21

AQUARIUS

JAN. 20 - FEB. 18

A sagittarius’ favourite place to be is somewhere new, taking risks and making big moves. Their bravery is one of their best qualities and makes them an ideal leader. Sagittarius’ know exactly what they want and know how to pack a punch. The flavour of a Starburst also packs and punch and is strong like a Sagittarius. These qualities are the best part of a Sagittarius and a Starburst and makes them a perfect match.

PISCES

FEB. 19 - MARCH 20

Capricorns are known for hav ing high standards and being perfectionists - after all, they’re worth it. They know who they are, who they want to be and how to make it happen. Their strate gic side and relentless search for perfection is very much like the KitKat. More often than not, Capricorns can find themselves splitting themselves up to reach their goals, but if they realize that every part of them is as wonder ful as a KitKat, they’ll be able to move mountains.

An Aquarius is optimistic, intui tive and resourceful. Even in the worst situations, an aquarius can find a bright side to look at. How ever, Aquarius’ also know how to kick back and have amazing times with friends and family. Their strong-willed nature can be compared to a Coffee Crisp. When an aquarius puts its mind to something, it will stop at noth ing to achieve it. Even if it means making a fresh pot of morning brown and learning to let go, the aquarius will get through, just like the strong will of a Coffee Crisp.

A pisces is the textbook definition of an empath. They feel others’ emotions and react accordingly. Their emotions go deeper than an ocean, which is why pisces are a lot like swedish fish. They can match energy, or flavours, with others and truly see things from a different perspective, which allows them to thrive in social situations. Like the swedish fish, the pisces is a great addition to any party or candy bowl as they’re exceptional at diffusing tense sit uations and add a flavour of fun to any gathering.

OPINION

If you remember these bad boys, this one might hit a little close to home. CREDIT: PEXELS

Is nostalgia a never-ending story?

A look at recent television, movie and music reboots from someone who remembers the originals

TAYLOR PIPE

Iam a millennial. As much as I don’t want to admit it - I am. I was born in the 1900s and re member things like pogs, purple ketchup, and the sweet feeling of eating dunkaroos while sitting on a dirty gymnasium floor. I re member when The Simpsons was actually a good show, I remember when Eminem was Slim Shady and I also remember that time Madonna kissed Britney Spears and Christina Aguileira live on the MTV VMAs.

Which is a huge reason why I am so angry that everything that I once loved, and found nostalgic, is getting a long-awaited sequel or is getting rebooted.

Bel Air, Hocus Pocus 2, Gos sip Girl, Wednesday, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina - the list goes on. Why are we rebooting things that were perfectly good to begin with? And why the heck is Winnie the Pooh becoming a low-budget horror movie? What is going on with nostalgia lately? I want off this wild ride.

A larger demographic

A huge part of it is that mil lennials are getting older. They’re the biggest generation to walk the planet since baby boomers. Most millennials are roughly 26 to 41. As generations get older, they tend to procreate - which leads us to the next point.

They want to share their childhood experiences with their own children. Or with their fur babies. Most millennials will tell you the late 80s to the 90s was the best time to be a kid. Load ed with sugary cereals, pizza pops and Power Rangers - how could we not believe that?

Since millennials seemingly crave the days before cell phones and social media took over their lives, and since we are the new largest demographic, it makes sense to market to millennials, or the people in Gen Z who are y2k fanatics.

Heck, we even had Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Kendrick Lamar and Mary J. Blige play the superbowl show last year. It’s clear that millennials are being target ed and everything is shifting to being marketed toward them, in stead of their older counterparts, Gen X and the Baby Boomers.

Originals VS Reboots

Sure, it’s all a matter of opin ion. But are we really going to say the new Saved By The Bell is better

than the original? I miss Screech.

A lot of the reboots are swap ping the tone of the originals. For example, the original Sabrina the Teenage Witch was a lighthearted sitcom that featured a poorly pup peteered talking cat. Whereas the newer version has a darker tone and the Sabrina of this day and age is definitely a bit more risque than Melissa Joan Hart.

else? It’s all thanks to a little thing called public domain.

50 years after A.A. MIlne passed away, his beloved charac ters Winnie the Pooh, Piglet and Eyeore became public domain. That means that nobody owns the intellectual property that is the entity of Winnie the Pooh and therefore, anybody can use it.

The typical rule is to add 50 years after the death of a creator, and then whatever they’ve created becomes public domain and is us able by anyone.

ably like me. Getting mad that everything old is new again and complaining that there are no original ideas anymore.

But this is a phenomenon that’s been happening for decades, actually. Even Aretha Franklin’s hit song Respect is actually an Otis Redding song from 1965. The advent of TV is still relatively new in the grand scheme of things, and it was just a matter of time before that creative restructuring of classics reached our generation.

The same goes for Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The newer ver sion is more dramatic than the original - even if the original did have one of the most heartbreak ing scenes of all time.

Cue the: “Why didn’t he want me, man?”

But whether you prefer the originals, (and their catchy theme songs) or you’re a fan of their re makes, we can all agree on one thing:

What the hell is happening with Winnie the Pooh?

One of the things that is mak ing remakes so popular is charac ters entering the public domain. Have you ever wondered how every celebrity gets away with recording the same holiday song as everyone

So, here’s the deal with Win nie the Pooh. Him and all his friends - except Tigger, became public domain in January 2022. That meant that anybody could use his likeness for anything.

That’s why we have an ex tremely unsettling movie where our favourite childhood charac ters are running around killing people. And more things like this will occur within our lifetime.

I know I said I hated re makes, but this one actually piques my curiosity just because of how absolutely wild it sounds.

Even music isn’t immune to the nostalgia trip

Have you noticed that Nicki Minaj’s new song, Super Freaky Girl is rapped overtop of Rick James’ Superfreak? Or did you think it was MC Hammer’s Can’t Touch This?

If you have, then you’re prob

So when your dad busts in your room while you’re listening to Grrrls by Lizzo to tell you she’s sampling a Beastie Boys song, or when your mom rolls her eyes at Hold Me Closer by Britney Spears and Elton John, know that one day too you’ll be doing the ex act same thing with a young per son.

We all get older and one day we will all be telling children to “get off our damn lawn and listen to some real music.”

But as long as we don’t mess with Shrek or remix I Write Sins Not Tragedies in the meantime, I’m cool with it. Also,I will admit that I am pretty excited about the new Little Mermaid.

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Alex

DIRECTORS

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CONTRIBUTORS

CHEN

PETS OF THE MONTH

Meet Lexi!

Photo by: Paige Stampatori

Age: 12

Meet Stella!

Breed: Grey & White Tabby

Photo by: Taylor Pipe

Age: 5

WANT TO SUBMIT YOUR PET TO BE FEATURED?

ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING NOTICE ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING NOTICE

Thursday Oct. 27, 2022 at 6:00 PM

Stop! This interactive story begins on page 1.

If you are unsure if you are a member

to attend this meeting, or are a member but have not yet received an invitation,

You open the door and hear the sound of frantic typing. You turn off the flashlight in your phone as there is a candle sitting at a desk in the centre of the room. There is an ominous cloaked figure hunched over a typewriter sitting at the desk. You look around the room. It’s still in great condition consider ing how the rest of the house looks. You take a small step and hear the sound of paper getting crumpled up under your foot. The hooded figure turns around. They stand up, but you don’t see any legs.

The figure floats in front of you for a minute before turning back around and gathering a few papers. They blow their candle out and float toward you.

The cloaked figure stops in front of you and stretches out its arms to hand you some paper. You look down at the papers and notice the figure doesn’t have skin, but only bones. You take the papers from the skeleton creature and look at the first page. You notice that it is a cover page to some type of essay.

You look back at the cloaked figure.. They can tell you are con fused.

“It might have taken me an eternity, but I finally finished it and am ready to defend my thesis,” the figure gasped. You and the skeleton high five and decide to go celebrate fin ishing their thesis. You end up at a bar and have the best night of your life with your skeleton buddy. He’s the best man at your wedding and you find out his name was actually Greg when he was alive. Good guy.

Fun Fact: Stella was once a cat that re searchers would study the behaviour of.

Breed: Lhasa-Poo (Lhasa Apso / Mini Poodle mix)

Fun Fact: Blue peanut M&Ms are her favourite treat and she gets to have one on occasion.