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NEWS

173.1 • Thursday, JANUARY 9, 2014

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Ice storm takes toll on Aboretum

Spate of bad weather jeopardizing already damaged trees Alyssa Ottema

The extreme weather that has been working its way through Guelph as of late has left significant damage in its wake, particularly on the University of Guelph’s Arboretum. Since the major ice storm of Dec. 22, Arboretum staff have been attempting to calculate just how much of a toll was taken on the nearly 2,500 trees on the grounds.

The manager of the Arboretum, Ric Jordan, in an article for the Guelph Tribune, estimated that it will be months before the damage can be fully assessed, although it is clear that employees will be working through the spring and summer to clean up the damage.

“There are at least 1,000 trees that have sustained damage in some form or another,” said Jordan, who was reluctant to make estimates on the cost of the damage. “How do you put a cost value on something 30

years old that we’ve grown from a seed?”

Some of the trees in the Guelph Arboretum were planted as early as 1970. While estimated costs for repairs will cover the superficial damages, they cannot account for the decades needed to grow some of the trees that have been destroyed.

It may cost the Arboretum upwards of $12,000 to clean up the damage, according to preliminary estimates.

While some trees have been completely knocked down, others have just lost limbs or been bent due to the weight of the extra snow. With the severe weather warnings for the Guelph area in the coming weeks, Jordan is concerned for trees that have already sustained damage.

“In some cases, there are trees that are bent into a horseshoe shape,” said Jordan. “The longer they stay like that, the less chance there is that they’re going to come back up.”

While it is not uncommon to lose some weak trees and extra limbs to severe winter weather, Jordan notes that this winter has been particularly

PHOTO BY WENDY SHEPHERD

The ice storm of Dec. 22 damaged approximately 1,000 trees in the Arboretum’s collection.

The facility is confident in its ability to clean up the damage, but the recent spate of bad weather and heavy snowfall threatens to imperil those efforts. difficult for the Arboretum staff. “As far as widespread damage…this is the worst I’ve seen,” said Jordan.

So far, “only a dozen or so”

trees have been completely lost, but it remains difficult to properly assess the damage to the facility in the increasingly bad winter weather. There

could be other unseen damages to contend with when the harshest winter Guelph has seen in recent years comes to an end.

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NEWS

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Library begins to weed out print map holdings Michael Long

China destroys tonnes of seized ivory The Chinese government has indicated that it is willing to crack down on the black market trade of elephant ivory. In a public demonstration on Jan. 6, authorities in the southern city of Dongguan destroyed over six tonnes of seized ivory.

This marks the first time Chinese authorities have made a large-scale public demonstration against the illegal trade.

Wildlife conservation groups say the demonstration is evidence that China’s government is beginning to recognize the toll illegal poaching is having on the elephant population.

The International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW) – which called the demonstration a powerful symbolic act – estimates that more than 35,000 elephants were killed for their tusks last year.

China is the world’s largest purchaser of ivory. The country’s rapid economic growth has spurred demand for the illegal good by an emerging middle class, many of whom covet this “white gold” as a status symbol.

A single kilogram of ivory can fetch upwards of $2,000 per kilogram.

Wind power becomes Spain’s top source of electricity According to Spain’s power grid operator, wind turbines facilitated 21.1 per cent of the country’s energy demand in 2013, narrowly edging out the contribution from Spain’s nuclear power plants for the top spot. Power output from wind farms was up 12 per cent from 2012 overall.

Coupled with a surge in hydroelectric output (due to especially large rainfalls), Spain’s grid authority estimates that greenhouse gas emissions fell by 23.1 per cent since last year.

But the news is not all good.

While output from fossil fuel sources and nuclear power plants has declined to balance, Spain is now burdened with the capacity to produce far more electricity than it requires, largely because renewable energy sources have mandated outputs and have been heavily subsidized. The result is an expensive gulf between the cost of energy generation and what consumers actually pay.

The government is now looking to curb this deficit; but to avoid passing more costs onto consumers it will be cutting subsidies to the renewable sector in order to discourage investment.

Compiled by Michael Long

Beginning this semester, McLaughlin Library will begin an extensive review and de-selection of its print map collection.

Much of the collection is now out of date, and newer, electronic technologies have rendered many of these maps obsolete. Print maps are, on the whole, a dying format and the library is hoping trim the excess from its collection.

There are approximately 15,000 maps and atlases in library’s collection, and according to Information Resources Librarian Helen Salmon, the library is looking to remove about 60 per cent of that number.

The deselected maps will be offered to other Ontario university libraries that may wish to fill out their own collections. Any maps not claimed will be recycled. The library notes that its off-campus storage annex is already at capacity.

The library hopes to recover the area where the maps are currently housed (in the basement of McLaughlin library) for additional study space. The library is also keen to ensure that its collection is kept as current as possible.

“We regularly de-select items which are no longer accurate or relevant, and which might be duplicated by new ways of publishing or access,” said Salmon. “The library has never done this kind of review of our print map collections before, and many of our older maps are extremely outdated and not relevant

to our current academic programs.”

As a depository library for the federal and provincial government for many years, the U of G library has received copies of every map published by the government’s print map services program. In 2012, that program was shut down as Geographical Information Systems (GIS) and electronic maps continued to displace traditional print mapping.

The university has been cultivating a GIS collection for some time and, according to library staff, print maps are rarely used anymore.

“Consultations with faculty in the departments where maps are a core information source have indicated that GIS and data resources rather than print maps are strongly preferred for both teaching and research purposes,” said the library in a press release.

Maps that are duplicates of the library’s GIS holdings, that are clearly outdated or not relevant to U of G curriculum or research programs, and of which there are multiple copies, will be removed from the collection.

The library intends to preserve maps that relate to U of G’s areas of specialization and that are important to U of G’s stewardship responsibilities to the province and the city of Guelph.

As a consequence, maps of the local area will be preserved, as will those pertaining to agriculture, forestry, and environmental science, in addition to rare maps and maps which may be of historical importance.

PHOTO BY WENDY SHEPHERD

The library’s extensive collection of print maps will be undergoing a major review starting this semester. The library is hoping to remove up to 60 per cent of those items from the basement of MacKinnon, where the majority of maps have been languishing as technological change continues to render them obsolete.

Deciding which maps are to be preserved while ensuring that alternate forms of deselected maps still exist – not to mention dealing with the sheer volume of materials – pose

the greatest challenges for the project team.

The library anticipates that the deselection process will be completed

by August 2014.

Next U of G president to be decided this month Michael Long The University of Guelph is on schedule to select a new president and vice-chancellor to replace outgoing president Alastair Summerlee, who is retiring on June 30, 2014. The Board of Governors is expected to confirm the name of the successful candidate this month, according to the U of G’s Presidential Search website.

The Presidential Selection Committee, which is comprised of board members, faculty, students, staff and alumni, has been convening since early last year to develop criteria for potential candidates and review applications.

“The [selection] process is focused on confidential candidate cultivation and review that will ultimately lead to the development of a confidential recommendation for consideration by the Board of Governors early in 2014,” announced Dick Freeborough, Chair of the Presidential Selection Committee and member of the Board of Governors.

There are three members of the Board of Governors on the 10-person Selection Committee, so it appears likely that the Board of Governors will confirm the committee’s recommendation without issue.

In developing a “Position Profile,” the Selection Committee held drop-in sessions and town halls last year to solicit ideas and advice from the university at large. However, the selection process itself has been undertaken in strict secrecy.

The Selection Committee has been working with Caldwell Partners, an executive search agency, in reviewing candidates.

According the Position Profile available online, the new president will be “an accomplished academic recognized for excellence in teaching, research and service,” will have experience leading an organization through change, developing and implementing strategic plans, and will demonstrate a commitment to social justice and innovation, among other things.

In the Profile, the mandate for the next president reads, in part, as follows: “The President will build upon the University’s strengths and further develop and promote its potential for excellence. In consultation with the University community, the President will make decisions that will include refocusing resources to ensure the University continues to lead in its areas of excellence.”

The mandate also explicitly requires that the new president “advance and support”

the university’s ongoing Integrated Planning cycle and Program Prioritization Process.

Alastair Summerlee began his term in 2003 as the university’s seventh president. Presidential terms last five years and will normally not exceed two terms, but Summerlee’s term was extended

by one year to coincide with the completion of the $200 million BetterPlanet Project and the university’s 50th anniversary.

Summerlee arrived at the University of Guelph in 1988 in the College of Biological Sciences. He was the first president to be appointed from within the university.

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Canada’s airlines accused of discrimination

WestJet and Air Canada accused of racism and transphobia in separate incidents Emily Blake

Canadian airlines WestJet and Air Canada have been accused of discrimination against passengers in two separate cases.

In one instance, two Aboriginal women were prevented from boarding a flight due to a lack of adequate identification.

In a second, two Torontobased transgender artists have claimed that flight attendants made transphobic remarks towards them.

Two Aboriginal women, Gail and Joyce Nepinak, were not permitted to board an Air Canada flight from Winnipeg because they did not have adequate identification. They were traveling to Ottawa and were scheduled to testify before a House of Commons special committee on missing and murdered Aboriginal women. Neither of the Nepinaks had driver’s licenses or passports, which is a common issue for northern Aboriginal people.

Manitoba Member of Parliament Niki Ashton, who represents the Churchill riding for the NDP, was traveling with the two women

and has publicly spoken about the incident. She stated that this episode is an example of the systemic discrimination Aboriginal people face in their daily lives.

She has also said that the House of Commons is accountable, for it did not confirm that the women had proper ID before booking their flights.

Air Canada has issued an apology over the incident but maintains that the airline was simply obeying the law. All passengers are required to have at least one piece of government issued photo ID including their name, birth date and gender, or two pieces of government issued non-photo ID. Both women presented their health cards, bank cards, electronic boarding passes and government issued invitations to the airport, as well as having MP Ashton vouch for them; however, this documentation was considered insufficient.

Ashton asked to speak to an Air Canada manager at the time but the request was never fulfilled.

The women were invited to testify in Ottawa as relatives of Tanya Nepinak, who went missing in September of 2011. Serial killer Shawn Lamb allegedly murdered the 31-year-old. Winnipeg police charged Lamb with seconddegree murder for her death,

but the charges against him were stayed in November after it was decided there was insufficient evidence to support a conviction. The Nepinaks were one of six families invited to testify before the committee for the first time. Fourteen individuals made it to Ottawa.

The second incident occurred on a WestJet flight from Toronto to Edmonton involving two transgender women.

Toronto-based artists Lexi Sanfino and Nina Arsenault allege that a flight attendant made transphobic remarks towards them, saying, “You guys have to teach us how to do our makeup. You know, because you used to be guys, right?” Sanfino, in response, strutted down the aisle topless as protest. Flight attendants then covered her with a blanket, returning her to her seat and expressing concern about child passengers.

The RCMP greeted the two passengers when they landed in Edmonton, arresting Sanfino.

Arsenault attempted to film the arrest but was also apprehended when she refused to turn off her camera. Both women were later released. Sanfino was charged with causing a disturbance and Arsenault was released without charge.

The women say that they faced discrimination from RCMP

© Raimond Spekking / CC-BY-SA-3.0 (via Wikimedia Commons)

officers who deleted photos and video from their camera, referred to them with male pronouns, and threatened to throw them in jail with men. An officer even allegedly questioned Arsenault about whether she had undergone sex change surgery.

Arsenault has stated about her friend’s actions: “Let’s face it: if you’re legally male, it’s not even illegal to remove your top. I think that was the politics [Sanfino] was exposing. If you’re gong to treat me like a male, then I’ll put this in your

face. Which begs the question: now am I?” When the pair tried to board a flight back to Toronto they discovered there was a red code on their files saying they could not board. As a result of the incident they have been barred from commercial flights with WestJet and Air Canada. WestJet spokesman Robert Palmer said “These sanctions arise from their conduct on the flight in question and are imposed under the authority of our local domestic tariffs.”

ARTS & CULTURE Hillside Inside 2014 lineup A Tribe Called Red, Timber Timbre and July Talk to headline event Adrien Potvin The Hillside Festival has released the lineup for its winter series, Hillside Inside, to be held at St. George’s Church and other locations in downtown Guelph.

The festival, running from Feb. 7 to 9, will feature A Tribe Called Red, July Talk, Timber Timbre, Whitehorse, and others. Here is a preview of some of the talents to perform.

Ottawa’s A Tribe Called Red have enjoyed overwhelming popularity in the past two years, known for blending traditional First Nations percussions and voices with high energy electronics. A Tribe Called Red is a testament to both innovative musical stylings and social awareness, and the group members are vocal supporters of the Idle No More movement. By transposing these modes of First Nations musical textures and visual designs into one of electronic music, their music makes a powerful

statement about the state of First Nations’ presence in contemporary Canada, and the world, by extension.

July Talk, hailing from Toronto, is an absolute blast and shouldn’t be missed. The bourbon-drenched voice of Peter Dreimanis harkens back to Tom Wait’s growlier work, and Leah Fay’s sweet voice and angelic stage presence acts as an apt foil in these stylings.

Inspirations and similarity notwithstanding, the group’s music is fun and energetic.

Timber Timbre, also hailing from Toronto, has a gentle and multi-faceted sound that should prove to be an excellent evening of music. Dense instrumentations, fragile thematic arcs and strong vocal melodies characterizes the work of trio Taylor Kirk, Simon Trottier and Mika Posen, so it’s perhaps unsurprising that they work under Kevin Drew’s Arts and Crafts label, famous for the collective work of Broken Social Scene.

Hamilton alt-country act Whitehorse features gritty guitars, transcendent vocal harmonies and evocative textures.

Working with no drummer and

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173.1 • Thursday, JANUARY 9, 2014

PHOTO COURTESY OF JULY TALK

Above, July Talk, a Toronto based indie-rock band will be gracing Guelph with their presence at the annual Hillside Inside festival occurring next month. The weekend long festival will feature other headlining acts such as Timber Timbre, Whitehorse, and A Tribe Called Red. Keep eyes peeled for extensive coverage following next month’s event. opting for loops, foot stomps and other particulars, the duo of Luke Doucet and Melissa McClelland crafts a striking, nearly minimalistic space for their rich voices

to work in. The group closed the summer Hillside Festival on a warm, brooding note, so this event marks a welcome return for the two.

This years Hillside Inside looks to be another exciting installment, much like last year’s, which featured acts from Hollerado to Born Ruffians.

Jam space: musings on sound and culture

Herbie Hancock and Flying Lotus to collaborate?

Adrien Potvin

A rumour is floating around on certain music websites that DJ/ producer Flying Lotus is collaborating on an album with jazz legend Herbie Hancock. This article will be less about the specifics and more about speculation, specifically speculating on “How cool could that be?!”

For starters, Herbie Hancock is a jazz pianist who has been at

the forefront of a number of jazz movements, specifically the shift from bop into the softer and more meditative styling of post-bop (a division of jazz from the 1960s onward). Performing on essential Miles Davis albums such as Seven Steps to Heaven and the impressionistic In A Silent Way, he released such indispensable jazz classics as Mwandishi, Maiden Voyage, and the seminal jazzfunk record, Headhunters. In short, Hancock is one of the most important musicians in the history of jazz and continues to push the boundaries to this day.

Steven Ellison, a.k.a. Flying Lotus

(and sometimes the rap name Captain Murphy), is a DJ and producer at the forefront of the state of the art. With a striking polyrhythmic style and sonic sensibilities that range from 70s disco to contemporary avant-garde music, FlyLo’s LPs Cosmogramma and Until the Quiet Comes are gorgeous and dreamlike experiences forging carefully crafted beats, overwhelmingly beautiful sonics, and striking vocal features from artists like Erykah Badu and Thom Yorke.

The potential for these two giants to collaborate evokes some interesting thoughts, specifically in the vein of the portrait of the artist as

an innovator. True, hardcore electro-philes will tell you that FlyLo isn’t doing anything new in the same vein as Herbie Hancock had done for funk, jazz or hip-hop, but the notion remains that these two artists are not afraid to look forward and develop fresh, original ideas for music.

When music stays static, it gets boring, and Herbie and FlyLo are both acutely aware of this and make progression part of their artistic credo. When Herbie made Headhunters in 1973, it became both a mainstream success and an essential jazz classic, and completely changed the role of the keyboard/

synthesizer in both jazz and funk music. FlyLo does the same thing in less monolithic ways - he is constantly working no matter what. Be it a mixtape, a feature production for someone, or making music for Adult Swim’s evening block of cartoons, the man is constantly making creative music that is a straight up pleasure to listen to. Whether or not it actually happens, it’s interesting to ponder how different and yet how similar these two monumental artists are, and how their respective attitudes to innovation, texture and genre-jumping could prove to make a spectacular funk/jazz/electro/psychedelic album.

ARTS & CULTURE Emily Jones

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173.1 • Thursday, JANUARY 9, 2014

Simply Authentic: diary of a local foodie

This past weekend, after hitting up the Guelph’s Farmers Market for fresh items to add into my weekly meal routine, I decided to stray from the usual chicken dishes that are prepared, and, strive to create a delicious alternative from scratch.

The usual items were picked up from the market, including multiple colours of peppers, cooking onions, garlic bulbs, spinach, the freshest wraps available anywhere (if you’ve had them, you’ll know what I mean) and whatever else attracted attention.

Saturday evening rolled around and I decided chicken enchiladas were the meal of choice. The process began with seasoning the chicken breast with cayenne pepper, cilantro and chilli sauce, letting the chicken brown on both sides in a

frying pan with a tight-fitting lid.

While this was happening, the rest of the preparation was under way.

A bamboo cutting board lay on the counter; all of the produce was rinsed ahead of time and was ready to be chopped up.

The vegetables chosen were, yellow, green, and red bell peppers; baby spinach; onion; garlic; and cherry tomatoes on the vine. Once the chicken browned on all sides, a few table spoons of salsa were added along with the chopped tomatoes, onion, garlic, spinach, and peppers. For an added dose of flavour, freshly chopped cilantro was added to the pan.

While the vegetables finished cooking, the chicken was removed and sat on the cutting board, by leaving the chicken breast whole, the juices remained. After a few minutes of allowing the chicken to rest, it was sliced thinly and added

back into the pan with the rest of the enchilada filling and the heat was reduced to a simmer while the wraps were taken out of their package and the cheese shredded.

The final step in preparing the chicken enchiladas involved the wrapping process; at this time, the oven was preheated to 300 degrees and a baking dish was made ready.

The wrap was laid flat on the cutting board, the filling was spooned into the wrap, and the wrap was tucked at both ends first and then rolled from one side to the other, the entire filling was concealed within the wrap, this step was continued until the filling was gone. Large or small wraps can be used for this recipe. The enchiladas were placed in the baking dish side by side and some of the remaining sauce mixed with salsa was poured on top of the enchiladas and then sprinkled with a layer of cheese. The baking

dish was placed in the oven for 15 minutes, or until cheese had melted.

Serve on their own, with a light salad, avocado, or sour cream. Enjoy!

Grocery list: - Bell peppers - Chicken breast - Cooking onion

- Fresh garlic - Tomatoes - Spinach - Fresh Cilantro - Cayenne pepper (optional) - Cilantro & chilli salsa (optional) - Salsa - Wraps - Cheese

Album review: Hana Lulu, Keepsake

COURTESY PHOTO

Emily Jones Out of Manitoba, Hana Lulu is a three piece indie/electronic group consisting of Chris Aquin (drums),

Kevin Desjarlais (vocals), and Atom Dzaman (lead synthesizers). The group’s album, Keepsake, was released in 2013 and was influenced by their collective admiration of 80’s much-loved bands like The Cure and New Order. Hana Lulu formed in 2012 and has developed a strong following thus far, keeping music enthusiasts satisfied audibly and visually at their live performances.

Keepsake, begins by using what sounded like a busy signal to hold the beat, followed by the upbeat sounds of electronic indie pop - a danceable track without a doubt. Desjarlais’ vocals are indisputably reminiscent of the morose sounding vocals from the 1980s. The lyrics follow what one would think of lyrics from the 80s

- the end of summer and the end of a summer love. The second song on the album which is called “Message to the Sea,” states “I’ll follow you anywhere, any place you’d like to say goodbye,” typical for this style of music. The album only has four tracks, but it does not disappoint - it leaves the listener wanting more, the kind of album that one would want to put on at a dance party consisting of an authenticity that would allow one to mix it in with old favourites without hesitation. Hana Lulu have developed their own style while sticking true to their passion, and those who have an interest or longing for a modernized 80s revival will most definitely find enjoyment listening to Keepsake.

PHOTO BY EMILY JONES

This simple and delicious recipe is perfect for mealtime during the cooler months. The photo above shows the filling for the enchiladas simmering and ready for to be wrapped and placed in the oven.

STYLE PICK OF THE WEEK: BACKPACKS

ALBUM OF THE WEEK: AFTER THE DISCO

COURTESY PHOTO Out next month is the sophomore album from the Broken Bell’s indie-rock duo which is comprised of Brian Burton (also known as, Danger Mouse), and James Mercer (lead vocalist and guitarist of The Shins). The duo released their debut self-titled album in March 2010, which was a delight and After the Disco is sure to not disappoint.

The single “Holding on for Life,” released back in November 2013 has an incredible beat that locks the listener in within seconds of opening and Mercer’s vocals leaves one wanting more and more.

PHOTO BY EMILY JONES

The focus this week is on backpacks. Backpacks are making a head-turning comeback; designers are focusing on approaching the practical piece with a fresh outlook. Stylish backpacks are all over fashion magazines and campus. We found this beauty on campus this week. Be practical and hip all at once.

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ARTS & CULTURE

Grassroots + Art + Guelph: PS Guelph Jessica Avolio PS Guelph states on their website that “every book is lovingly made by hand,” and claim to be “more like a bakery than a traditional bookstore,” because they “bake [their] books fresh daily.” They aren’t simply a hub to print books on demand – they also strive to form new communities within the city through the shared experience of reading.

The Guelph chapter of Publication Studios (where the acronym “PS” comes from) is the newest of several others, including locations that already exist in Boston, Los Angeles, Portland (Maine and Oregon), and Vancouver, among others.

The Guelph initiative began in 2012 when Matthew Stadler, founder of the Publication Studio in Portland, Oregon, visited the city and spoke about the PS model. This sparked a desire to start a Guelph chapter, and after acquiring bookmaking equipment and selecting a location on 46 Essex, Publication Studio Guelph finally opened on June 5.

The Ontarion spoke to Scott McGovern, a member of the editorial committee for PS Guelph, about this initiative.

“Books must be sold to pay for their creation,” said McGovern,

which often proves to be a challenge in Guelph, the smallest city in the PS network. PS Guelph is volunteer driven and works towards being a selfsustaining organization.

“So far, all of our books have had a local connection,” said McGovern - they make their books in Guelph, feature local writers, editors, artists and content. PS Guelph also teaches others to make books, creating a personal experience. “It’s a special feeling to flip through a book you just made by hand,” said McGovern.

McGovern spoke on how PS Guelph slightly varies from the usual PS model, as they make limited first edition books - from a practical sense, “this ensures that there will be enough books to sell at the launch, but it also provides an excuse to make books with unique design features such as tipped in posters, a CD, or handmade papers,” said McGovern. Libraries, museums, and archives around the world then acquire these first edition copies, “which helps promote Guelph as a place of interest and significance.”

This year, their goals are “focused on getting set up, learning to make books, finding our niche as a small city in the PS global network, and having

PHOTO BY STACEY ASPINALL

PS (Publication Studios) Guelph has a story that will make people rethink what it means to flip through the pages of a handmade book. Located in downtown Guelph, PS Guelph is a labour of love and the pages are filled with uniqueness. fun launching our own publications,” said McGovern. “A goal was to create an excited audience that really cares about the books, and that has been achieved.”

McGovern hopes that PS Guelph continues to grow and

attract new and bigger audiences, all while becoming a self-sustaining, retail publisher in the city.

“The PS network has become well-known internationally and now has about 150 books

on a central server that can be downloaded, printed, bound, and sold. It is great that publications from, and often about, Guelph can be accessed this way, elsewhere, forever,” concluded McGovern.

SPORTS & HEALTH

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Top 10 Sochi events to watch for Canadian medals

Andrew Donovan

No country heard their national anthem played more at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics than Canada did, raking in 14 gold, seven silver and four bronze medals.

Experts and pundits see more gold in the future for our Canucks, and with no further ado, here is my list of the top 10 sports you need to watch this Winter Games that will feature Canadians on the podium (no particular order).

1. Bobsleigh/Skeleton: Okay, okay, these are technically two separate events at the Olympics, but for the sake of fitting the maximum amount of Canadian talent on this list, I combined them. These two teams have an astounding 16 former medal winning athletes on them, including former McMaster Marauder and Hamilton Tiger Cat, Jesse Lumsden, and Heather Moyse, who wore gold in the two-woman event in 2010. Some say Moyse is the best athlete to ever come from P.E.I., as she represents Canada in both bobsleigh and rugby on the international stage.

2. Men’s hockey: There is this computer program that uses algorithms and complicated statistics to determine what nations or athletes will medal in various Olympic events. This machine, for what it’s worth, predicted Canada’s men’s hockey team not to medal. Hogwash. Despite the fresh wounds of not medaling in the World Juniors, these vets won’t let Canada down on the world stage. On an interesting side, since 1980 at Lake Placid, only Sweden and Finland have medaled more than Canada in men’s hockey with five total medals to Canada’s four.

only rise this time around. Canada is a frontrunner in the slopestyle event. Look for big improvements in the halfpipe events for both men and women’s – an event Canadians have never medaled in.

3. Women’s hockey: Since women’s ice hockey was introduced to the Olympics at the 1998 Nagano Games, Canada has claimed silver once and gold three times. The Hayley-Wickenheiser-led Canucks may be the most likely of all Canadian teams to medal in Sochi.

6. Figure Skating: I’m not going to lie to you, I wouldn’t know a triple sow cow if it hit me in the face, and I have a difficult enough time dancing on the Trappers dance floor, never mind an ice surface. So when I say that ice dancers Tessa Virtue and Scott Muir are “good,” I am going purely based off what experts are saying. The pair have won two World Championships in the past four years and Virtue is skating at 100 per cent, something she

4.

Snowboarding: Canadian snowboarders tallied two gold and one silver in Vancouver, and pundits predict that the number of Canadians on the podium will

5. Men’s Curling: Though gold medalist, Kevin Martin, and silver medalist, Cheryl Bernard, will not be representing Canada in Sochi - Winnipeg native Jennifer Jones and Brad Jacobs of Sault Ste. Marie are too good not to medal. Besides, the only sport more Canadian than lacrosse and hockey, may very well be curling, so they have to win.

was not doing in Vancouver. The pair are said to be a shoe-in for a medal in 2014.

7. Speedskaters: Canadians can skate, eh? Kristina Groves, (silver and gold medalist), Clara Hughes (gold medalist), and Christine Nesbitt (gold medalist), are all back on the ice for these Olympics and experts have them ranked very well against an always difficult, tight, and fast field. Canada also won gold in the team pursuit in Vancouver, meaning the only colour more common than the white of the ice and snow at the Olympics is gold draped over red Roots tracksuits.

8. Skiing (moguls): There are a plethora of skiing events at the Olympics, but where all Canadian eyes should be focused is on the moguls event where the Dufour-Laponte sisters, Justine (19), and Chloe (22), are expected to finish first and second after their one-two finish at the World Cup last January. Mikael Kingsbury, from Sainte-Agathedes-Monts, Que. has also won just about everything there is to win in men’s moguls, and Sochi should

prove to be no different.

9. Skiing (cont’d): Alexandre Bilodeau gets his own number on this list, as he is the first Canadian to ever win gold on home surface.

However, early projections have Bilodeau finishing second, but not in freestyle this time – instead it is likely to be in moguls.

10. Relay Luge: This is a brand new event being featured in the Olympics, and me-oh-my is it going to be fun! The clock begins with the women’s single, and once the women cross the finish line, the clock continues for men’s single and doesn’t stop until the last team, the team doubles, crosses the finish line. This is going to be the fastest relay you’ll ever see; lugers eclipse speeds of 135 km per hour.

The Sochi Winter Games run from Feb. 7 to 23 and with 12 new medal events, Canada is likely to improve upon their 26 medals attained in Vancouver. Be proud, cheer loud, and adjust bedtimes and alarm clock accordingly to accommodate all the Canucks representing our great nation overseas.

Journey to making history: the Winter Classic

Stephanie Coratti

My journey to the Winter Classic began in the summer of 2012, a summer that had an almost guaranteed National Hockey League lockout looming. Even with that hanging over our heads, passing on purchasing Winter Classic tickets was not an option.

When the lockout was announced, the NHL allowed fans to either keep their tickets for the following season, or release them in hopes of being selected again. With the lockout as the only sure fire thing at that time, releasing our tickets was the seemingly smart decision.

Fast-forward to Dec. 30, 2013 – the first of three days that included Winter Classic festivities.

I was sitting in the nosebleeds of Comerica Park, watching the Toronto Marlies take on the Grand Rapid Griffins with the Detroit skyline in my front view. You could say

I was naïve when I turned to my best friend exclaiming how great a picture I would be able to get once the sky went dark and the buildings illuminated the view. The game went on, the wind picked up, we got colder, and the skyline never lit up.

That was my first clue to how big this really was. In a hurting, bankrupt Detroit, buildings were empty, and keeping lights off was a financial decision. For a city that seemed so dark, there was one very big bright spot: the Detroit Red Wings, and the sound of history soon to be made.

After walking through the tunnel that opened up to the entirety of Michigan Stadium – also known as the Big House – looking around was all I could manage. Even empty the stadium was a sight in itself. Snapping pictures was an instinctive reaction, but even those images don’t do it justice.

The Big House filled in what seemed like seconds, with everyone

on their feet and each of us deciding almost simultaneously that sitting wasn’t an option today. Before the game had even started, a booming voice sounded announcing the record had been shattered: 105,491 people were in our surroundings.

It isn’t uncommon for analysts, experts, and even fans to strip apart the hockey game that was played on New Years Day. Listening to most, there was one agreed upon problem: it wasn’t the greatest game they had seen. To some extent, I agree. I have seen plenty of hockey games that would blow this one out of the water. But I really don’t think the Winter Classic is meant to stage the greatest hockey game ever played. Instead it represents a whole other world of hockey – a world that many of us often forget or leave behind for the fact-filled breakdowns and statistics.

I may have suffered a hint of frostbite, causing me to limp back to the

car with my foot sideways and my hair frozen together, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat and not in hopes of seeing a better hockey game. Mistakes, turn overs, a bouncing puck, ice covered in snow – this sounds like the atmosphere most of us grew to love the game in, the exact atmosphere the Winter Classic tries to replicate, year in and year out. In 2014, it finally all came together.

I’m not usually one for statistics, mostly because numbers and I don’t get along, but in part due to the actual heart of the game.

I personally think you can tell a lot about a player and teams just by watching them play – watching, an art lost in a world filled with bloggers, self-proclaimed statisticians and, Corsi. For me, seeing NHL players skating in the Big House, watching Joffrey Lupul sneak a puck into his glove before leaving warm up, and seeing Tyler

Bozak and James van Riemsdyk watching the crowd celebrate after scoring a goal, was the true heart of the game.

I don’t care how many times the ice crew had to shovel snow from the ice – it just meant more time dedicated to dancing and singing great songs with over 100,00 people. I don’t care how many times the puck was turned over and I don’t care if Corsi was completely lopsided. The heart of hockey was found in professional hockey players dumbfounded at the sight of the crowd, in the noise of the masses that you could literally feel because it was so loud, and in looking around at the blue and red divided stadium filled with those who truly just love the game.

To make history in the sport of hockey is the often-unattainable dream for so many – a dream that was granted in the 2014 Winter Classic for 105,490 people. And me.

PHOTO BY STEPHANIE CORATTI

Michigan’s Big House packed in over 105,000 Red Wings and Maple Leafs fans, despite the mercury dipping to -10 celcius, for the annual Winter Classic.

Tyler Bozak scores shootout winner to earn a 3-2 win for the blue and white.

12

Tech liberation, or newage eating disorder in disguise?

Andrew Donovan Leave it to Generation-Y and our tech-savvy minds to conceive a way to bring to life the cartoon Jetsons. Rob Rheinhart, a young Californian entrepreneur and tech-developer, seems to have struck powdery, sawdust-like gold with his Soylent nutrition powder.

The powder is being marketed as a total food replacement, and ingredients (which Reinhart has made public) consist of a long list of head scratchers that will surely have Poindexters worldwide

How our food choices can help save the environment.

Claire Bowley Whether you are trying to slim down, bulk up, or achieve your optimal nutritional health, there is a diet plan for everyone. But as you trim pounds from your waistline, are they being added to your carbon footprint?

No matter what you eat, your diet will impact the environment, because all food requires inputs of energy from multiple sources to be produced. So the question becomes – “If there is a diet tailored to improving insulin tolerance, is there one for minimizing the environmental impact of food production, transportation, and consumption?”

The answer is “not really,” but some dietary choices will have less environmental impacts and can be more sustainable than others.

Eating Well with Canada’s Food Guide is designed to optimize the average person’s health; however, this meat and animal product based plan may have adverse environmental effects. According to the World Society for the Protection of Animals (WSPA), one-third of cultivable land is used for industrial livestock production worldwide, most of which is used to grow grain to feed the animals. Recommended Canadian food guide proportions suggest two daily servings of meat and three of dairy products. These demands for animal byproducts exacerbate the problems of land use.

The Mediterranean Diet, recently popularized in North

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SPORTS & HEALTH

Soylent nutrition powder salivating at the opportunity to consume this paste without ever having to leave their swivel chairs, except to expel the digested supplement at a later time.

But what’s all the worry about?

It is, after all, vegan!

The sleek silver bag that carries the powder dons an “S” that is not dissimilar to the iconic Superman logo. However, Soylent, according to Berna Magnuson, associate Professor of Nutritional Science at the University of Toronto, describes the concoction as “hilarious” and that the way in which it is mixed is, “exactly how we make animal feed.”

Rheinhart, who admits to not being a very good cook, commented on his entrepreneurial venture that has already amassed $2 million in

pre-orders, saying, “I just thought, ‘What if you could get the same effect [as food] with something that is very simple and very easy?’”

The idea appears revolutionary in theory, but in practice, treating food as a sum of its chemical parts, poses potential danger and controversy. Magnuson called this the quest for finding a golden formula for nutrition vain given what we know about nutrition.

She equates this quest to human consciousness, which does not have a crackable code, and says that there is no magic formula.

In other words, a banana is healthy for you because of its nutrients, but those nutrients, when manmade or broken down into other unnatural forms, don’t necessarily possess the same benefits.

Adding to Magnuson’s worries is the fact that Rheinhart’s team has no nutritional education, and that creating a stir-fry of ingredients to meet minimum guidelines for nutrition (by an entrepreneur that admits to having lived off ramen noodles and fast food) is dangerous.

And let’s not forget the price tag, which, according to early speculations, will sell 2,200 calories for under $10 a day – and with a market that appears to be in high demand for Soylent, that estimated price is expected to fall.

Rheinhart has effectively created an eating disorder for the sedentary. No time or effort is needed to consume this product, outside combining it with water and stirring. Moreover,

Diet and sustainability

America, promotes cardiovascular health and may reduce some of the negative impacts of a high-protein or animalbased diet by limiting meat and dairy consumption. Traditionally observed in Greece, Spain, and Southern Italy, the diet recommends a high consumption of fresh fruits, vegetables, legumes, whole grains and olive oil, a moderate consumption of fish and dairy, and limited consumption of red meat.

Unfortunately, Guelph is not in the Mediterranean, and any olive oil purchased here must be imported, which generates unnecessary carbon emissions. Even before transportation, one litre of Greece’s Sellás olive oil has a carbon footprint of 2.36 kilograms of carbon dioxide, much of which is due to olive oil’s carbonintensive extraction process.

A less intensive, but similarly heart-healthy oil, such as Canadian-grown canola oil, may be a better option.

Perhaps the most environmentally driven food plan is the “locavore” movement, with its followers restricting their diets to locally grown food. The concept of “local,” however, is up for individual interpretation, with food production boundaries ranging from a 100 kilometre radius to “I’ll purchase what I can at the Farmer’s Market, but anything else is fair game,” The locavore diet aims to reduce the distance that food travels, thus reducing greenhouse gas emissions from transportation.

But does Wellington County chicken truly have a lesser “mileage” than one raised in, say, New York? What if the Wellington County farmer imports feed from Mexico, but the New York chicken eats grain from a

neighbouring farm? Now which chicken is the more informed choice? And what if you jet off to Hawaii simply because you have a craving for pineapple and mahi mahi? Does that still count as eating local?

Deciding which foods or diet plan will minimize your carbon footprint can be overwhelming.

As if choosing between chocolate and white milk or deciding which brand of cereal to buy wasn’t hard enough already! As

with most things, making environmentally informed choices about food takes practice, but the decision is just as important and logical as comparing foods over taste or nutritional content.

Michael Pollan, the modern era’s food guru and author of An Omnivore’s Dilemma, recommends three rules for eating wisely, both nutritionally and environmentally: eat food, not too much, and mostly plants.

Maybe we should consider a

because it is marketed as a food replacement, the public stands to be duped by the creativity of marketing whizzes with an appetite for raising the bottomline of profit over raising the bottom-line of North America’s ever-increasing health problems.

I suppose this is all a part of the double-edged love affair we have with the accumulation capital that makes the world economy turn. The due diligence to be healthy rests of the shoulders of the consumer. Those that wish to put health second to a price tag will continue to do so whether or not Soylent is on the market.

The choice is ultimately yours – Soylent is certainly a bargain in terms of price, but undoubtedly a cost on your health.

fourth rule, and stay informed of the origins of our food.

Where is our food grown? How is it produced? Is it in season?

What are the possible impacts it has on the environment?

There is no perfect guide to a sustainable diet, but if we keep up to date with current food practices, we can make the most informed choices to preserve the planet while still enjoying what it has to offer the palate.

Undergraduate Research Assistantships Summer 2014

There are 140 positions available on-campus this summer for students to gain research experience and earn at least $6,600.

Students must meet the following criteria to be eligible to apply: • Canadian citizen/permanent resident; • Currently registered in an undergraduate degree program; • A minimum 70% average; • Demonstrated financial need; • Return to full-time undergraduate studies for the fall 2014; • Engage in full-time research during the summer.

January 29th is the deadline to submit the Financial Need Assessment form for URA’s.

Available URA positions will be posted to the Student Financial Services website beginning January 13th until February 3rd.

Departments will not accept an application after February 4th.

For more information about how to apply: www.uoguelph.ca/registrar/studentfinance/

Call for STUDENTS to GET INVOLVED! Nomination period for students interested in sitting on the U of G Senate and Board of Governors opens January 13, 2014!

If you are an undergraduate or graduate student interested in: Developing your leadership skills...

Building your network (and your resume!)...

Volunteerism...

Civic and community engagement... ...then an opportunity to sit as a member of the highest governing bodies at the University might be of interest to you.

Want to learn more?

Details and nomination forms are available online at:

www.uoguelph.ca/secretariat

Questions?

Email: elections@uoguelph.ca or visit the University Secretariat office (4th Floor, U.C.) Nomination Deadline: Thursday, January 30, 2014 (4:00 p.m. firm)

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PHOTO BY ANDREW DONOVAN

Guelph receives their gold medals after a 7-1 win over Nipissing in the finals of the UCC. The Gryphons went undefeated, 7-0, surrendering only 6 goals in dominant performances versus their tier II competitors.

Gryphons Ringette goes undefeated to take gold

Andrew Donovan & Morgan Faulds The University of Guelph ringette team travelled to North Bay, Ontario – the town the sport was invented in - to celebrate the 50th anniversary and to play in the University Challenge Cup’s (UCC) second tier, where they defeated Nipissing University in the final by a score of 7-1.

The lopsided score sums up the tournament rather accurately for the Gryphons, who outscored their opponents 39-6 over seven games, to go a perfect 7-0 in the tournament, and all but solidify their place in the first tier when the tournament is hosted in Alberta next year.

The UCC win marks the first ever victory for the Guelph club (they won silver in 2013 and 2012 and bronze in 2011) and with 12 university teams participating from across the country, with Ontario universities making up nine of those teams, it begs the question as to when the OUA will recognize the sport with varsity status.

Nevertheless, the clubs showed up to North Bay on Dec. 31 to ring in their first game of the tournament on New Year’s Day against McMaster’s ‘B’ team. The Marauders played the Gryphons tight for the first half but with two minutes left, Erin Ivens buried the first goal of the tournament to put Guelph up one going into the second half. Guelph settled into the game much more comfortably after the break, scoring in the 1st, 5th, and 16th minute of the period to put away McMaster 4-0.

Guelph’s second game came versus the Brock Badgers who, despite scoring first, were outmatched by the dynamic Gryphons team, who took their second game of the day 3-1.

Jan. 2 had two more games on the slate for the Gryphons. Even though the thermometers dropped to -41 degrees, the Gryphons showed up warm and ready for their closest game of the tournament, a 4-2 victory over eventual silver medalists, the Nipissing Lakers.

Guelph finished their day versus Laurentian, winning handily 8-0.

Jessica Johnston scored a hat trick, while Shannon O’Dwyer racked in two goals and an assist.

The set of games that took place on

Friday followed the same momentum and storyline that was on display the day before. Guelph beat both Brock and Laurentian for the second time in the tournament by scores of 8-2 and 7-0, solidifying their spot in the gold medal game on Saturday.

The final featured the host Lakers and was played at Memorial Gardens, home of the OHL’s newest team, the North Bay Battalion.

The first half of the first frame saw Guelph pepper the Laker’s net with shots in what made for a very interesting start to the game. However, the suspense that a close game brings was short-lived as Guelph’s skaters, who were faster, stronger, and more agile than all their opponents, were relentless in their attack on the net.

The final scoreboard saw Guelph win 7-1 to take home the UCC trophy.

Guelph’s dominance started up front with solid performances all weekend long from Johnston, Ivens and Stacey Forbes, and in the back with Madison Desrochers, who surrendered only six goals through seven games, while recording three shutouts.

Celebrating 50 years of ringette The 2014 UCC was part of a larger celebration in North Bay, coinciding with the 50th anniversary of the invention of ringette. These festivities included the World Championship, the President’s Pool Championship, and the World Under 16 Championship.

As the headlining event, the World Championship featured a best

two-out-of-three series between Team Canada and Team Finland, the two main ringette powerhouses, competing for the Sam Jacks Trophy. Since its induction in 1990, the World Championships have only seen Canada win four times, with Finland successfully defending their trophy this year with their fourth straight win. Finland won the series in two games, beating Canada by scores of 8-4 and 7-5.

Although Finland is currently dominating the international stage (their Under 19 team also won the President’s Pool title and the World Under 19 title), the sport of ringette is purely Canadian, invented in North Bay in 1963. Sam Jacks, the director of Parks and Recreation for the City of North Bay, had a passion for youth athletics, in particular ice sports. It was this passion

that led him to invent ringette in order to fill a void for winter sports for girls. Although the rules have changed drastically over the years, the game created by Jacks is now played in over 13 countries, including Sweden, Germany, France, and the USA. While Sam is credited with the invention of the sport, it was his wife, Agnes, that was the ambassador of the sport until her death in 2005, attending every tournament she could and presenting a friendly, instantly recognizable face around the arena. The number 63 was retired at the closing ceremonies of the World Championships in honour of Sam and Agnes Jacks, and the rich history of the sport that has grown so much over the past 50 years.

Over the next 50 years, ringette

will continue to grow, and university play is one of the most important factors. With the 2015 tournament likely moving west to Calgary, the University of Guelph team is looking forward to new competition and gaining more exposure for the sport. In Ontario, university teams attend tournaments, and a two-tiered system next season will see the Gryphons competing against the top teams in the province, including Western, Ottawa, and Carleton. This season, U of G is hoping to add to their silver in Oshawa and golds in London and North Bay with two more golds in the upcoming Guelph and Niagara Falls tournaments. The Gryphon ringette program has become increasingly more competitive over the years, and hopes to continue this trend in seasons to come.

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173.1 • Thursday, JANUARY 9, 2014

You’ve probably seen this on Pinterest How to make a good thing out of forgetting to take out your garbage Alyssa Ottema One of the things that bothers me the most about Pinterest is that every post assumes that you are a fully functioning adult, with unlimited time, monetary resources and the means to remember to clean and buy groceries and take the garbage to the curb. I mean, can I help it if I forget to take my garbage out for a few weeks? I’m busy with far more important things like school and work and wasting time on the Internet.

That’s what makes this craft particularly awesome.

It’s not geared towards the wealthy, clean, swimmingin-free-time adult crowd, and it combines two of the more favoured university student pastimes: drinking and forgetting to take out the garbage.

If you’ve got a decent amount of six-pack holders lying around – either because you can’t be bothered to recycle them or because you have,

for some reason, been hoarding them – an excellent way to appear to be (a) super crafty, (b) super money savvy, and (c) in complete control of your very adult life, is to turn them into coasters. Repeat after me: you did not forget to recycle those six-pack holders; you were saving them so you could repurpose them, which is both economically and environmentally responsible.

Go you!

You will need: - A few six-pack holders - Packing tape (you can get this at the dollar store) - Scissors - A ruler and a pen, if you’re really bad at cutting in semistraight lines This is actually as easy as it appears. If you so desire, measure and outline 4x4 inch squares on flattened six-pack holders. Then, cut out these squares. After cutting, line up two squares with the fun sides facing out, and use the packing tape to “laminate” them by completely covering one side in tape, flipping the coaster over and doing the same to the

PHOTO BY WENDY SHEPHERD

Think twice before taking out the trash: empty six-pack holders from last night’s party can be effectively repurposed to create crafty coasters. other side, and then cutting off the excess tape.

There you have it. Not only have you repurposed garbage

(which is environmentally responsible), costing at most a dollar (which is fiscally responsible), but you have

also saved your coffee/dining room/beer pong table from water damage, which is just overall responsible!

Don't stand in line,

get all your parking services online at:

www.parking.uoguelph.ca

16

Adderall

“Higher” Education Ian Gibson

The seduction of taking performance-enhancing drugs to achieve higher grades in high school and university has become both controversial and pandemic.

But does Adderall improve your GPA? Despite the perceived benefits associated with taking Adderall, there are no quick fix solutions.

Not only are students cheating the system, they are ultimately cheating themselves.

In the first of a two-part story, the Ontarion sets out to unravel why the demand for Adderall is so prevalent across campuses in North America, and how it relates to societal demands and pharmaceutical companies.

Adderall is a form of amphetamine, which gives you the impression of being more focused. The increased ability to focus has led to Adderall being used illegally as a study aid, allowing students to concentrate for longer periods of time.

Although typically prescribed

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for ADHD, it has been discovered that, not unlike the previous Ritalin scandal, Adderall is becoming the designer drug of choice. To get ahead in grades, students can literally buy themselves a bit of concentration for five dollars a pill.

It’s no surprise that Adderall gives students an exaggerated sense of productivity when studying, but in addition to students, athletes are also abusing Adderall to improve their sports performance.

Because of the addictive habit of taking Adderall both day and night to function, the legitimate use of this drug has become divisive.

Adderall acts as a brain stimulant, which supplements the lower count of dopamine in the prefrontal cortex, then sending blood to the muscles. As a result of this, the use of Adderall can cause feelings of energy and invigoration, similar to the high often experienced after exercise.

Adderall increases dopamine or epinephrine in the brain to help the frontal lobe improve attention. Taking Adderall may not make you smarter, but increased perception may cause you to feel that you are.

PHOTO BY ALEX DODD

Adderall is a drug that is used to boost brain function, and is popular among students who use it to enhance concentration and boost academic performance - but this shortcut to success comes at a cost.

Any dosage of Adderall over 75mg can create a feeling of euphoria, which has led to it also becoming popular as a recreational drug. Yet as soon as the effect wears off, users will feel tired, depressed and/or irritable.

Depending on the individual,

side effects may vary. These may include weight loss due to lack of appetite, dryness of mouth, dizziness, insomnia and diarrhea.

Reports reveal that Adderall’s effect on the body’s heart rate can lead to cardiovascular problems such as disrupted heart rhythm

and increased blood pressure.

But perhaps the biggest side effect of taking Adderall is the knowledge that using drugs to enhance academic performance is cheating and is not a sustainable solution to student’s academic success.

Alumni Spotlight: Kris Lehnhardt

Emergency Physician has dreams the size of space Stephanie Coratti

Most kids at some point in their childhood make the sweeping declaration that they will some day become an astronaut.

That dream, for most, fades as quickly as the sun. But there are the exceptions to the rule, such as University of Guelph graduate Kris Lehnhardt, who turned that dream into a lifelong adventure.

For Lehnhardt, the desire to be an astronaut started very early in life with, to his credit, watching Star Trek on television with his mom. Watching the Space Shuttle launches later in school served as further fuel to the fire. The cement of it all came in high school, when a guidance counselor suggested looking at profiles of Canadian astronauts to help Lehnhardt decide on a path to pursue.

Lehnhardt specifically remembers astronaut and emergency physician, Dr. Dave Williams, as the inspiration for his career.

“Becoming an astronaut is an extremely challenging process that may or may not be successful,” Lehnhardt explained of his dream. “My goal all along has been to make sure I enjoy

the voyage as much as the destination.”

That voyage included achieving another goal: attending the University of Guelph. “Believe it or not, I had wanted to go to U of G since I was 12 years old,” Lehnhardt said, although he originally wanted to become a veterinarian. “As I got older, I quickly realized they did not need vets in space.” The Bio-Medical Sciences program became a perfect fit for the aspiring astronaut, who decided to “switch species” and become a doctor.

Lehnhardt is a rare breed in that he has experience as both a Guelph Gryphon and a Western Mustang, due to attending medical school at the University of Western Ontario. Lehnhardt admits he did have a few misgivings at first because of the rivalry, but the opportunity Western offered for medical school was undeniable. “Whenever Guelph and Western played each other, I was always very torn up about who to cheer for,” Lehnhardt explained. “But ultimately, it was usually Guelph!”

Before graduating from the University of Guelph in 1999, Lehnhardt spent time as a supervisor for the First Response Team (FRT). “That was when I first got a taste for dealing with medical emergencies,” he explained of the experience. “[FRT] fueled my

desire to complete an Emergency Medicine residency after medical school.” Lehnhardt believes everything has come “full circle” now, as he is currently the Medical Director of the Emergency Medical Response Group (EMeRG) at George Washington University (GWU).

Lehnhardt also serves as an Emergency Medicine Physician at GWU Hospital, the closest hospital geographically to the White House. “I supervise and teach medical students and residents while also providing patient care to anyone that comes through our doors,” Lehnhardt said of the position. “It’s a fun job, but it can be a little busy.” Busy goes without saying, as Lehnhardt is also the director of the Fellowship in Extreme Environmental Medicine, the Medical Director of the Emergency Health Services Program, and the Director of the Introduction to Human Health in Space graduate course.

Don’t let the immense amount of success fool you. Lehnhardt is still the young Star Trekwatching, astronaut aspiring dreamer, but his dreams have come very close to becoming a reality. In 2008, Lehnhardt was among 5,500 applications in the Canadian Space Agency’s astronaut selection campaign, and was placed in the top 200.

His passion for space didn’t

end there. “When I first began my job at GWU, one of my goals was to carve out a niche for myself in aerospace medicine,” Lehnhardt added, explaining that this was an area that the university had not yet covered prior to his arrival. “With the assistance of a few key people at GWU and NASA, I was able to create the Introduction to Human Health in Space graduate course: a unique course designed to introduce aerospace medicine concepts to anyone interested in human spaceflight.” Lehnhardt finds the course, the proudest moment of his bright career, extremely rewarding as he gets to share his passion with his students.

When it comes down to it, Lehnhardt doesn’t believe staying motivated when you truly want something to be difficult. “Every time I see a rocket launch on TV, I get completely overwhelmed,” he explained.

“The real challenge is staying focused on your goal.” In order to avoid getting caught up in day-to-day struggles, Lehnhardt offers two pieces of advice: “One, learn how to say no. You will have many amazing opportunities in your life, but the ones which divert your attention from your goal should be avoided,” Lehnhardt said, adding that it may not always

be possible, but it is worth the attempt. “Two, if you never ask, you will never receive. Figure out what you want, find the people who can help you, and ask for it.” The aspiring astronaut described his experience of getting to sit in the commander’s seat in the Space Shuttle Discovery, simply because one of his colleagues asked to do it.

“I will never forget that,” said Lehnhardt, who remembers the moment as a step that took him another inch closer to the dream as big as space.

After all, you know what they say: if you shoot for the moon and fall short, you will still land among the stars.

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How to succeed at your new years resolutions

Katherine Chabot The start of a New Year is a major catalyst that encourages many people to re-evaluate their lives and consider changing their lifestyle for the next 365 days. The most common resolutions are weight loss, exercise, debt reduction and quitting smoking. Having an overall better quality of life is something that everyone desires and hopes for, yet many people live below their highest potential.

For the first two weeks after New Year’s, people are usually very productive and successful in keeping their resolutions. However,

Emily Blake

by February, many people begin to engage in their old habits, and by the following December, most people are back where they started.

Why do so many people fail to keep their New Year’s resolutions?

First of all, many people make unrealistic resolutions that they aren’t ready for or willing to maintain. Many feel pressured into creating a goal for themselves for the sake of following the New Year’s tradition, and do not take into the account the actual efforts these resolutions demand. Motivation is at an all time high when the New Year begins, but as soon as a person falls back into the same patterns and is no

longer being encouraged, failure and self-defeat can make one feel worse off than when they started. Another reason for failed resolutions is presented in the cause-and-effect of this relationship. It is easy to create preconceived notions that reducing debt, losing weight or succeeding at any resolution will allow ones life to undergo a complete positive transformation. However, if goals are slowly being reached and one still finds their lives unsatisfying, it is easy to become discouraged and revert back to old behaviours.

Making resolutions work is essentially about changing the way you think and realizing that you

don’t need to wait until a magical countdown at midnight to start improving your life. Every new day brings forth new opportunities for growth and improvement.

One of my favourite quotes by Albert Einstein states that insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” If you truly want to succeed at something, and start living at your highest potential, you must consciously work at it everyday.

Choose to have resolutions everyday throughout the year, so that when New Year’s comes and goes your goals will remain attainable.

Here is some advice to help

you succeed at your New Years Resolutions: 1. Don’t wait until New Year’s Eve to make resolutions. Make it a daily process. Start thinking differently.

2. Focus on one resolution, not several.

3. Set specific and realistic goals.

4. Take small steps. Patience is key.

5. Step back and appreciate your improvements throughout the whole progress, not just at the end goal.

6. Don’t take yourself so seriously, and you won’t be easily discouraged. Learn from your mistakes and slips and allow them to motivate you even more to continue to succeed at your goals.

Why do fans hate female characters?

In the Internet age TV, fans are more connected than ever with the ability to widely discuss their opinions. Online fandom forums have also revealed the hatred that exists for particular fictional characters.

Female characters especially have become targets for fan hatred.

An article on the popular website, Buzzfeed, acknowledged this trend by listing 16 female T.V. characters who were cyber bullied in 2013. The list included Andrea from the Walking Dead, Skyler White of Breaking Bad, Sansa Stark from Game of Thrones, and Betty Francis and Megan Draper of Mad Men. These are all characters on hit TV

shows with lead male protagonists.

There are some justifiable reasons for fans to dislike certain characters. For instance, some characters are just poorly written and acted.

However, hatred of complex and realistic female characters is a result of socially accepted misconceptions about gender. These concepts assign roles and qualities based on rigid binary definitions of gender.

In reality, gender is much more fluid and does not define an individual’s characteristics.

Anna Gunn, the actress behind the role of Skyler White on Breaking Bad, recently wrote an op-ed in the New York Times about the negative response that her character provoked. The actress even

feared for her safety after receiving death threats. Gunn discusses how gender stereotypes were largely responsible for this hatred.

“Skyler didn’t conform to a comfortable ideal of the archetypal female,” wrote Gunn. “She had become a kind of Rorschach test for society, a measure of our attitudes toward gender.”

Reasons cited for disliking some female characters include that they are promiscuous or too comfortable with their sexuality. This is a result of social narratives about female morality and chastity. Characters are also disliked if they are seen as “too feminine” or weak, especially in action shows. Furthermore female characters can be seen as

“nagging killjoys” that the audience finds irritating because the male protagonist finds them irritating.

By contrast, male characters do not face the same criticism. Audiences are much more willing to accept the complexities and faults of male characters than female ones. Some of television’s most popular male protagonists are also the most flawed. Prime examples include Hank Moody of Californication, Ari Gold from Entourage, and Mad Men’s Don Draper.

An article in the Atlantic by Maria Kannikova examines this phenomenon. It details how research by social psychologists has shown that women are perceived and evaluated on different

criteria than men. Particular traits are considered more important in males than females, and vice versa. Assertiveness is consistently seen as a more important quality in males, while niceness is more important for women.

It is apparent in how fans react to female TV characters that misconceptions about gender are still widely accepted. These norms prevent people from appreciating fictional female characters with the depth and complexity awarded to male characters. This is problematic, as it prevents females from being equally represented in media.

It is especially harmful when these views are applied to real women in the real world.

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Pope Francis authorizes sex abuse commission Emily Blake Pope Francis has recently authorized the formation of a commission on the sexual abuse of children in the Catholic Church. It will be composed of international experts including laypersons, members of religious orders, and priests. The commission will advise the pope on methods to prevent abuse, including examining current programs, better screening of priests, and training church personnel. It will also improve pastoral care for survivors and their families by providing mental care.

This announcement came days after the Vatican refused to share details of its internal investigations into sex abuse cases with the United Nations. The United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child requested that the Vatican provide this information, as a public hearing is scheduled for sometime later this month. The Holy See answered questions in a general way, but did not disclose specific information, including the names of abusers, as they stated it was beyond the

jurisdiction of the Vatican city state.

Members of the support organization, Survivors of Networks of those Abused by Priests (SNAP), have raised concerns about this committee’s ability to be effective. Director David Clohessy stated, “No institution can police itself, especially not an ancient, secretive, rigid all-male monarchy.” It remains unclear whether this commission will address the issue of bishops shielding abusive priests. It will not replace the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith, responsible for the discipline of abusive priests, and local bishops will remain responsible for the safety of children in their dioceses.

This is not the first time that the Vatican has attempted to tackle the issue of sex abuse in the Catholic Church. In 2011 the Vatican instructed the world’s bishops’ conferences to establish formal guidelines on dealing with clerical sex abuse. However, in 2013, it was reported that about a quarter failed to comply. The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops has also commissioned studies on claims of

abuse and examined child safety programs, but these reports contain only general statistics. Very few church leaders have come forward with the names of abusers.

Within the last several decades, widespread cases of abuse in the church have come to light.

There have also been revelations about the church’s failure to stop priests from continuing abuse, moving abusive priests from church to church rather than turning them over to authorities. Cases of abuse by clergy have forced the church to pay hundreds of millions of dollars in compensation worldwide, bankrupting many dioceses.

Pope Francis’s approval of this commission is just one of many positive changes that he has made during his short time as Pope. His vision of bringing the church closer to the public has improved perception of the Catholic Church at a time when it is facing great criticism. As a result, Time magazine named Pope Francis “Person of the Year” for 2013.

It remains to be seen what impact

PHOTO COURTESY OF PRESIDENCIAL.GOV.AR

With numerous cases of sexual abuse within the Catholic church coming into public awareness over the last few decades, Pope Francis has authorized a commission to address this devastating but often underreported issue. this commission will have on the rampant abuse recognized in the Catholic Church. However, as an

OPINION

A new age of dating

Technology is changing the way in which we court potential mates Jessica Avolio

Dating is defined as a form of courtship that consists of social activities, usually between two individuals, with the aim of assessing each other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship.

In this past (and even the present), this form of courtship involved approaching people in bars, being set up by friends and family, or meeting through mutual relationships - with the initial encounter taking place in-person.

But with the growth of new technologies, namely the Internet and increased usage of smartphones, the dating game has drastically changed in many ways.

No longer is it necessary to approach a stranger in a bar, or ask your friends and family to set you up, because now you can simply log onto the web or download an app.

Websites such as Facebook, Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, and apps such as Grindr and Tinder, help connect complete strangers with the click of a button. These social networking tools, with many geared specifically towards dating, allow one to easily navigate their prospects. Just scroll through pictures to judge immediate attractiveness, read through their “About Me” to gauge general compatibility, and look through their “Likes” to see if there are

mutual interests. Some sites even do some of the heavy lifting for you and will offer compatibility percentages, and if you “heart” each other in apps such as Tinder, the lines of communication are then opened to you (and at least you know that the other person thinks you are hot).

Within little time, it is fairly easy to determine whether or not you are compatible, essentially eliminating the dreaded nervous first date where you spend hours “interviewing” the potential candidate to see if you are actually a good match in the first place.

While these apps and sites seem to be a good time-saving tactic for the avid dater since it allows you to scan through more potential mates than ever thought possible, are there any potential downsides?

In the article “How technology had changed dating forever,” Anna Leach speaks of the tyranny of immediacy. “They know you have your phone on and they know you are on Facebook, so if you don’t reply to that text or message immediately, they’re gonna start wondering why not,” says Leach.

As well, due to the initial interaction via technology, many rely solely on IMs, texts, and email during their first few interactions. This, of course, leaves one with a lack of facial cues and body language - leaving most trying to decipher what that “;D” face really means. As well, since you are essentially hidden behind a technological device, there is no

impartial external organization, the U.N.’s public inquiry is sure to have great effect.

COURTESY PHOTO

Technology is changing the way we interact with potential partners, leading to a wider range of options. But some common pitfalls of the dating game, like the possibility of rejection, still remain. way to judge how much in-person chemistry you will have.

This immediacy also leaves everyone with the ability to be rejected through more than one facet (in person), since you can now be ignored or even dumped through countless venues.

But Leach also focuses on some of the positives, stating how social networking sites such as Facebook can help you “express your interest in a non-threatening way by adding them as a friend.” It may seem intrusive to add a total stranger into your friend network, but on the flip side, it fits with the modern needs for immediacy of information.

These technological-based interactions can actually lead to meeting people you’d never come across in real life, and it greatly widens your pool of potential candidates. The lack of face-to-face interaction makes it easy to start conversations based on previously reviewed mutual interests, and it provides you with a safe space where the fear of rejection is reduced.

However, is judging someone based on what’s written in their profile (before you even have inperson contact) a pitfall of online dating? Jessica Rozler, author of The Hookup Handbook, told the Times, “online research makes

the first date seem unnecessary, because it creates a false sense of intimacy.” Basically, we are receiving an overload of information without much perspective - with no body language, no facial cues, and no in-person chemistry to judge compatibility.

It is difficult to say where online dating will lead, or what the potential repercussions or benefits may be. But in the mean time, the immediacy and ease of the experience seem to be a beneficial way to bring two people together. Opening yourself up to new mates is often difficult, but technology is making it easier than ever before.

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OPINION

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The Pepper Picker’s Story

Why the details of your produce matter and why they shouldn’t Anna Aukema Do you ever think about the last person who touched the Canadian-grown pepper you cut up for dinner last time you cooked? Likely, if you bought your produce loose, the high school student stocking the grocery aisle last left their fingerprints on it. However, as Gabriel Thomson points out in his book, Working in the Shadows: A Year of Doing Jobs (Most) Americans Won’t Do, if your pepper was wrapped, it is possible that a migrant worker was the last human contact that little veggie knew. The journey of that pepper becomes an even more complicated story when you stop and consider what country that migrant worker was from – for example, the question of whether the worker who picks your peppers is a Guatemalan or a Mexican really matters. At the same time, it also really shouldn’t matter.

The reason this matters is that the context for each migrant worker who arrives to pick vegetables grown in Canada is very different. Certainly this is the case for any worker in general, but policy changes and different national contexts have the potential to make Guatemalans a particularly vulnerable group.

As University of Guelph professor Kerry Preibisch has pointed out, the Human Development

Index ranks Guatemala number 133 with an index of 0.58, compared to Mexico, which ranks number 61 with an index of 0.78 (UNDP 2012).

While Mexicans have been coming to Canada as migrant workers since 1974, Guatemalans have only been accepted since 2002; yet, they are quickly becoming the preferred workforce among growers in Quebec.

One reason given is that Guatemalans are more compliant to employers’ demands. While we cannot jump to conclusions, their national context and the structure of their newer migration program may have something to do with this fact.

When a job is a job, and there are many other people from many other countries lining up for that job, it can take a lot to want to rock the boat. So, it does matter where your pepper picker came from, because it reveals an increasing trend of vulnerability in Canada’s labour and migration policies.

The reason it really shouldn’t matter where a migrant worker comes from is that we should be providing all of them the same standards and opportunities as we do to the grocery boy down the road. Yet currently, Canada’s immigration laws are attempting advantageous labelling to allow for differential treatment.

We do this with food as well.

Sometimes labels advertise something as ‘all-natural,’ only for us to discover in the fine print some unpronounceable ingredients. Ironically, the opposite thing seems to be happening with our farm labour. We’re calling

COURTESY PHOTO

Most people don’t think twice about how their produce ends up on their plate, but consumers should be aware that migrant workers, often responsible for jobs such as picking vegetables, must deal with unstable working conditions. migrant workers ‘temporary’ and ‘foreign,’ but when we take a closer read of labour market ingredients, it seems they are more of a permanent complement to our dinner feasts than our favourite salad dressing.

What are the health implications of labelling like this?

Consider that a steady diet of apple fritters can’t be good for your heart, and that in spite of their advertised fruit content, the doctor isn’t likely to make an exception. Neither could a revolving door of temporary

workers in precarious labour positions be good for the development of the Canadian nation, in spite of the fact that their ‘foreign’ label makes it seem alright to treat them as exceptions to labour rights and protections.

This leads to another issue that really matters, but really shouldn’t matter, and that is in which province or territory your migrant worker picked your produce. For example, Manitoba has much wider potential for low-skilled migrant workers to apply for Canadian permanent

residency after six months of work, and an overall more integrative and open labour policy.

So, if you happen to be reading this from Manitoba, maybe the worker who picked that pepper was two months away from being your fellow citizen, rather than two months away from a trip back home to warmer weather and a likely more uncertain future.

Now that we’ve touched on the who of your pepper picker, the where is maybe best reserved for another dinner party discussion.

And let’s save the why for dessert.

The war of knowledge: Humanities vs. Engineering Erin O’Neill Who would have guessed that the elementary school war concerning intelligences would continue all the way into postsecondary? Within universities all over, there is the definitive struggle between contrasting teams - Engineering and the Humanities. Since the scale of knowledge is tipped, due to biased assumptions, towards the sciences, quite an uneven set of opinions has been formed on the helpless opposing faculty: Humanities.

Comparing intellectual worth in terms of literacy and science, or literacy and math for that matter, is about as relevant as comparing a burger and fries – they are both great, and math, science and language compliment each other in the same way that beef compliments potato. Imagine learning fractions without someone being

able to speak and explain the process, or imagine trying to live any day without money or calendars.

It’s inconceivable.

In what almost seems like a three-tiered circular system, a person’s opinions about schooling are influenced, formed, and then acted upon, until the entire circle repeats over again.

For example, take a student who loves English but is fairly confident in Science, as well. This student’s parents began impartial to anything other than their child’s happiness until media bias and third parties manipulate their opinions. The parents gradually form the nonsensical opinion that the Sciences are greater than the Humanities, and by sharing, they unknowingly influencing the choice of their child.

‘Be a doctor,’ becomes a commonly uttered statement by parents around the world.

‘Whatever you do stay away from becoming a musician or writer’ is another. The idea of a ‘poor musician’ and a ‘struggling artist,’ so often portrayed in movies and other media, is sometimes true, but there is also a high number of Engineering students who drop out of their chosen field because they lack passion for it.

With this discouraging attitude towards the arts, how would these people enjoy anything? The arts hold onto every beautiful thing that those sassy scientists fill their free time with – music, movies, theatre, visual art, all of it belongs to the Humanities.

Marshall McLuhan, a big name in the current Canadian literary sphere, started university as an engineering student, yet realized in his studies that he was truly meant to specialize in English.

A lot of the engineers find that they love English, the Arts, Music or Linguistics, but are further

pressured into something that they don’t love. They tolerate it, however, because of the assumption that the pay cheque is of greater value than happiness.

This is not to say that Engineering and Science are unimportant; of course the world would be less functional without engineers and doctors.

But never do the Psychology majors publically undermine the education of astronomy students. So, why do humanities students take the brunt of the engineer’s inflicted pain?

Even though the jeers of engineering students are quite explicit in their verses of humiliating mockery, the message behind them that is undermining the students is one much to do with their own uncertainties. So stressed out with the hours and hours of work, the threatening risk of dropping out, and the lack of room for creativity, those in

the sciences are left more jealous than truly judgmental of those students who do what they truly love.

Those who publically judge others on their intelligence are actually just passing on the negative energy from their own insecurities. The war of intelligence is an internal, rather than external, war. But does calling someone stupid really make you feel any better?

Neither the Humanities nor any other faculty is necessarily smarter or better than the rest.

Each person, not only in university but in all areas of life, is intelligent in a unique way, and so each person is equally important to society. If only the Engineers could build a bridge all the way to reality, they could finally see they’re really in the same place as the rest of the students in university: stressed, drowning in work, and doubting every second.

OPINION Not especially special Emily Buddo The Ontario government has announced that they want universities to narrow their focus in the future by specializing in certain programs. This specialization will help the government save money, an ever-present issue due to their ever-growing deficit. All universities must make difficult decisions about what programs to focus on and what programs to scrap before the end of this year (to be implemented in later years), or they risk losing funding. What to specialize in is up to the universities, however, the government has the final say on all decisions.

The government, like everyone else, knows that money is power. And with this knowledge, the government is abusing their power, using universities’

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University specialization

desperate need for money to control them, as well as limiting the even more desperate-for-money university students who attend the now-at-risk institutions.

Brad Duguid (Minister of Training, Colleges and Universities), made the argument that two institutions may not be needed if both are offering the same course in the same region.

What Duguid and his ministry are neglecting to recognize is that there is so much more to universities than the programs they provide.

Choosing the right university has forever been a stressful decision for graduating high school and mature students. However, with this new legislation, that decision may soon cease to exist. Students may not be able to choose a university based on how close or far it is to home, because their grandmother and mother went there, or because they liked the small campus atmosphere. Following through with this legislation

would take away the students’ rights to choose a university based on what is the perfect fit for them – a choice that is crucial to students’ success and happiness for the subsequent years.

This new legislation would also put more pressure on students’ decisions, because if a student chose a program and found they didn’t like it they’d either be stuck in it, forced to change into another one of their university’s limited specializations, or forced to switch to another university.

What kind of implications would this have on students? Would they want to start over in a new university after they already built a community of friends at the first one? No one really knows, because students have always had these options. With this legislation, the government is taking away those options, along with students’ right to choose a university based on more than academics and a

university’s right to provide their students with a variety of programs to major, minor, or take electives in.

Making universities more specialized would get rid of outof-faculty electives that help to expand science students brains past the chemical formulas and arts students’ brains past philosophy and sociology. Program specialization would destroy the inclusive environment where engineers and humanities students are friends instead of enemies and limit the possibility of a well-rounded education.

What Duguid is failing to realize is that there is so much more that needs to be added into the equation on university specialization than just dollars and cents. Would scraping certain faculties on a certain campus limit the creation of clubs and groups that help to create community around the campus? Would it lead to narrow minded-ness of students,

because nothing would challenge them? Would growth in university become purely educational and lack the important intellectual growth? There are too many unexplored potential consequences if universities and their students are forced to specialize.

Duguid and his ministry are acting like Goldilocks, thinking that they can come in uninvited to all of the universities, mess around with what has worked best for years, and experiment to find what is “just right” for them, while ignoring the possible consequences for future generations of students and staff.

Spending less taxpayers’ dollars is something that everyone can support, however the question has to be asked: what consequences will there be if students are forced to specialize in a particular subject without adequate time and experience to make the right choices for them?

Religion: open for business

Should religious beliefs be up for intellectual debate?

Adam Gabara

After reading Richard Dawkins’ “The God Delusion” this winter break, many points that I have thought about, or was opened up to, lead me to writing this article. I was born to Catholic parents, baptized, went to Catholic elementary and high school, went to church, participated in Communion and was confirmed. I did the whole religious thing, but what I didn’t know is that I had a choice to make for myself. After being raised Catholic all my life, believing in something my parents put upon me, I decided to no longer believe. This was due

to my maturation in university, as well as a newfound infatuation with scientific curiosity.

Now before you dismiss this article and say, “Ah just another atheistic piece of garbage” or what have you, the point isn’t to discuss my personal beliefs, but rather to question religion in and of itself.

People will often avoid discussing such topics, to avoid conflict or to respect other people’s choices, but religion shouldn’t be some “no man’s land.” Similar to politics or ethics, people have a set of opinions or beliefs and often will debate with others, and religion isn’t any different. People can and should debate religion’s authenticity or usefulness, just like we debate our morals or political standpoint with others.

There is no need to avoid “stepping on toes,” as it is important

to introduce intellectual debate, and examine facts versus opinion.

Our Canadian society is embracing secularity, but other nations are not so lucky. American politics, for example, are heavily influenced by religion, an example among them being George Bush Sr.: “Lincoln said you cannot be President without spending some time on your knees. I have repeated that and a bunch of Atheists got all over me.

Wait a minute. Does that mean that you cannot be President if you are an Atheist? I say yeah that does mean that.” Wholly nonsense - of course you could be a president without faith - but saying so to the public would be political suicide.

The majority of American people won’t stand for their religion to be questioned, and some are so fanatical that they

would rather vote for a Christian, rather than an atheist, politician. This further inhibits the openness to debate because so much relies on respecting it.

If a Westerner politician claimed that Islam was not welcome in Canada, there would be outrage from many Muslims in various countries, and we could possibly be targeted for an attack from Islamic fundamentalists like Al-Qaeda.

That is how closed religion can be; it is seen only in a positive and unquestioning light if you want to avoid any sort of clash. How is it that some religious followers can be so sensitive to anything that might be critique, where Liberals can be Marxists and Conservatives religious fundamentalists and no one bats an eye? Even the Christmas holidays are neutralized to “Seasons Greetings” to be less

offensive to members of nonparticipating religions.

To be clear, I am not asking for an all-out intolerance of religion, but rather for a more open debate without all this slavish obedience to respect, to the point that you can’t even try and criticize one religion or another without being called disrespectful or narrow-minded.

Politicians are always slandering each other during election time, so I am sure religion can take a little bit of intellectual criticism without too much offense.

The views represented in the opinion section do not necessarily reflect the views of the Ontarion nor its staff.

22 The Ontarion Inc. University Centre Room 264 University of Guelph N1G 2W1 ontarion@uoguelph.ca Phone: 519-824-4120 General: x58265 Editorial: x58250 Advertising: x58267 Accounts: x53534 Editorial Staff: Editor-in-Chief Jessica Avolio News Editor Michael Long Arts & Culture Editor Emily Jones Sports & Health Editor Andrew Donovan Associate Editor Stacey Aspinall Copy Editor Alyssa Ottema Production Staff: Photo & Graphics Editor Wendy Shepherd Ad Designer Justin Thomson Layout Director Stephanie Lefebvre Office Staff: Business manager Lorrie Taylor Ad manager Al Ladha Office Coordinator Vanessa Tignanelli Circulation Director Sal Moran Web Editor Alexander Roibas Board of Directors President Heather Luz Treasurer Alex Lefebvre Chairperson Michael Bohdanowicz Directors Bronek Szulc Harrison Jordan Sohrab Rahmaty Anthony Jehn Shwetha Chandrashekhar

Welcome to Camp Sochi

The Sochi Olympics are going to look more like a far-off warzone, or a setting straight out of a George Orwell novel, than an event that historically has brought together people of different culture, nationality, religion, race, and sex to participate in the universal love for sports.

On Jan. 4, the National Post had a two-page spread that featured a title, capitalized, italicized, and bolded, that read, “IS SOCHI safe from TERRORISTS?” The spread featured Russian police guarding a train station in Volgograd, the site of a terrorist bombing on Dec. 29, on the left, and a veiled woman holding a pistol on the right. The fear mongering was apparent.

There is a legitimate reason why the Russian authorities, the International Olympic Committee (IOC), and those attending the Sochi Olympics should fear terrorism in Russia at this time.

The Volgograd terrorist bombing of a train station left 17 dead, and the bombing of an electric streetcar left another 14 dead in an attack being pinned on the rising militant Jihadist movement in the Russian Caucuses.

There is little doubt that, prior to the Volgograd terrorist attacks, Putin’s government was going to be lax on security measures anyhow, but the bombings brought to light the extent to which the Russians are carrying out their Draconian measures.

There will be 100 “Platsun” scout robots – six-wheeled remote controlled cars – that will scan the Olympic grounds thermally; 5,500 CCTV cameras were installed as a part of the “Safe Sochi” initiative; 42,000 police officers and 10,000 Interior Ministry troops will be present; 421 drones will be deployed; six Pantsir-S short-range air defence systems have been stationed in

COURTESY PHOTO

Chechan rebels (flag depicted above) have been a thorn in the side of the Russian government and its anti-terrorist efforts. These Olympics will beg the question, ‘how many rights are we willing to surrender for a perceived increase in safety?’ the region; every person entering every event will be patted down and sent through a bodyscanner similar to the ones causing controvery in North American airports; access to Sochi by motor vehicles will be prohibited by law; and just about every conversation happening within Sochi’s “safe zone” will be monitored by Russian intelligence, who will be listening in for specific words that may indicate terrorism.

This militarization of largescale public events is not something happening behind the veil of the Iron Curtain, either.

The Kentucky Derby, the World Series, and the Super Bowl have the National Guard deployed in full uniform, around the perimeter of the stadiums and inside, and even the Canadian Army was

Contributors Anna Aukema Gagan Batra Emily Blake Claire Bowley Emily Buddo Carleigh Cathcart Stephanie Coratti Gabrielle Dickert Denis Farr

EDITORIAL

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Morgan Faulds Julia Forster Ian Gibson Erin O’Neill Adrien Potvin Marc Sgrignoli Tanisha Smith Steve Spurlar Benjamin West

The Ontarion is a non-profit organization governed by a Board of Directors.

Since the Ontarion undertakes the publishing of student work, the opinions expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect those of the Ontarion Board of Directors. The Ontarion reserves the right to edit or refuse all material deemed sexist, racist, homophobic, or otherwise unfit for publication as determined by the Editor-in-Chief. Material of any form appearing in this newspaper is copyrighted 2011 and cannot be reprinted without the approval of the Editor-in-Chief. The Ontarion retains the right of first publication on all material. In the event that an advertiser is not satisfied with an advertisement in the newspaper, they must notify the Ontarion within four working days of publication. The Ontarion will not be held responsible for advertising mistakes beyond the cost of advertisement. The Ontarion is printed by the Guelph Mercury.

employed to provide security during the Vancouver Olympics.

What is happening here is the normalization of massive, rightinfringing security measures in the name of “terrorism” at public events. If the revelations that have been made about the NSA’s world-wide spy ring were upsetting and considered a gross misconduct of human rights to privacy, then surely the measures being taken at Olympics and other such events are no better.

Terrorism is real; no one argues against that. Measures ought to be taken to ensure the safety of people attending sporting events - no one would argue against that either. There is a line though, and it seems to be drawn in sand, because it continually keeps moving the scope of acceptable security measures.

Torontonians that stuck around for the G20 know far too well what overstepping security measures can do to a society. If hosting international sporting events is becoming an excuse to adopt security measures that are normally applied in warzones, not our homes, then we must beg a couple questions.

Firstly, is it worth it? Secondly, will we be duped into trading personal freedoms for security?

Thirdly, and lastly, if we need to deploy the army and secret services to such an extent just to host the Olympics and stave off potential terrorism, is it not time our foreign policies were revisited?

These are all questions that ought to be discussed before the Pan-Am games arrive to Southern Ontario in 2015.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Thank you fellow Gryphons who understand the importance of mental health education and have shown constant support to one another during that difficult event last semester that had shaken our entire campus community.

Let’s support this person and give them every bit of respect they deserve. The goal is not to punish or blame, but to ensure that strong supports are in place so that full recovery can take place. We are all responsible for the wellbeing of others and overall quality of life. And at anytime in this life, we too can become affected by mental health. Mental health is plagued by stigma, let’s put an

end to that.

The only way Guelph will keep its reputation as having the country’s “most caring university” and being a vibrant, progressive and welcoming city, is if we lend a hand to one another and show that we support and care. Instead of thinking worst-case scenarios or “what if” situations, we need to be thinking what we can do to help persons in need and make this life a better one that we can all be proud to share.

Guelph, it’s time to support each other. Since experts alone cannot cure, let us all do our part and make life a little easier for one another, especially those individuals who are going through a

difficult time.

Thank you Gryphons for being such a caring community. I’m proud to be a part of this great city and lend my support. Remember to always see good and think good.

Denis Farr is a graduate from the University of Guelph with a Masters degree in public policy and administration Each year, the Central Student Association endeavors to provide recognition and appreciation for the contributions of outstanding instructors of teaching and learning. Nominations must include two supporting letters from undergraduate students and examples to showcase how

the instructor fits the award criteria. For more information on the nomination process, please see http://www.csaonline.ca/ teaching-excellence-awards/ where you can also find the form.

Deadline is February 7th!

Please email nomination forms to csaacad@uoguelph.ca.

Julia Forster CSA Academic & University Affairs Commissioner

Have a question, comment or complaint? Send us a letter to the editor at ontarion@uoguelph.ca.

Deadline is Monday at 4 p.m., 300 word max.

FUN PAGE

Across 1- One of the Baldwins 5- Exactly 10- Dress often worn

by Hindu women 14- Timber wolf 15- Fungal infection 16- Nabokov novel 17- Mil. truant 18- Adjust to zero 19- Air freshener target 20- Continued a subscription 22- Big revision 24- Plant 25- Join a poker game 26- Shout of exultation 29- Chinese “way” 32- Units of force 36- Inter ___ 37- Opening word 39- Man-mouse link 40- In spite of 43- Type of mouse 44- Uncovered 45- “___ quam videri” (North Carolina’s motto) 46- Hagar the Horrible’s dog

Youth Theatre Winter 2014 Season Auditions. Jan 13th, 8-9pm at Guelph Youth Music Centre. Casting ages 14-22. Prepare monologue of your choice no more than 2 minutes. Book audition at www.kwyouththeatre.com Owl Who’s Whoo at Guelph Arboretum. January 17th 9:00am-4:00pm.

Owl Prowl 6-8pm, $95. Discover how to identify Ontario’s owls with guest author Chris Earley.

One of Shakespeare’s best known tragedies is brought to life through dance in Canada’s Ballet Jörgen’s production of Romeo & Juliet. Main Stage at River Run Centre on Friday, January 17 at 8pm. $37 for adults, $35 for students.

48- Double curve 49- Worries 50- Proverb ending?

52- Actress Charlotte 53- Determined 57- Pure 61- Copied 62- Israeli desert region 64- Ticks off 65- Get better 66- Fragrance 67- Capital of Calvados, in NW France 68- Car bar 69- Ruin 70- Cookbook amts.

Down 1- Banned apple spray 2- Actor Rob 3- Black, to Blake 4- Cabbage salad 5- Scatter 6- Splotchy 7- Ques. Response 8- ___-do-well 9- Entrances 10- Dashing 11- The King ___ 12- Civil disturbance

13- About, in memos 21- Court 23- Broaden 26- Clock pointers 27- Crazy as ___ 28- Brit’s bottle measure 29- Little laugh 30- Orgs.

31- Novelist Joyce Carol ___ 33- Din 34- Dadaist Max 35- Wise ones 37- Indy 500 sponsor 38- Deranged 41- Tiny amounts 42- Abandoned 47- Conundrum 49- Devoted follower 51- Horne and Olin 52- Competitor 53- Very funny 54- Vertex 55- Actual 56- Maryland athlete, for short 57- Big rig 58- Periods of history 59- Ooze 60- IRS IDs 63- Sticky substance;

SUBMIT your completed crossword by no later than Monday, January 13th at 4pm for a chance to win TWO FREE BOB’S DOGS!

Last Week's Solution

COMMUNITY LISTINGS Mayor’s New Year’s Levee. Market Square City Hall, Saturday, January 11 from 1-4 p.m. Crafts, face painting, live entertainment, outdoor skating, hot chocolate and cookies. Celebrate the New Year with free family-friendly fun!

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173.1 • Thursday, JANUARY 9, 2014

Congratulations to this week's crossword winner: Connor Arsenault. Stop by the Ontarion office to pick up your prize!

SVC 9th annual Do So Much Weekend. January 18, “Convergence: Merging Streams for Social Good” FREE conference on campus for those engaged in positive action. Workshops: Social Entrepreneurship, Activism and Innovative Communities.

CH2M Hill and Engineers Without Borders’ Global Engineering Award deadline extended to January 31st! Answer question, ‘What will you do to make a world of difference?’ Submit video response for a chance to win 1 of 3 scholarships totaling $10,000! Contest open to engineering and technology students. Details at geaward.ewb.ca.

January 10 - Guelph Contra Dances at St. James Anglican Church, 86 Glasgow St N. 8:00pm. Guest callers Tom Calwell and Myra Hirschberg from Peterborough. Featuring house band Relative Harmony. Admission $10.00 Free parking. No partner or previous experience necessary. www.guelphcontradances.com

Mon: Closed Tues - Sun: 11am - 10pm

www.samurasushi.ca

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Notable persons’ 2014 resolutions

Inside the New Year’s promises of some of Canada’s finest Alyssa Ottema

When the clock strikes midnight at the end of each year, every person whips out a pen and a piece of paper and writes down a list of things that they pledge to start doing, or stop doing, or do more of or less of. This list is a contract, an unbreakable oath between the self and society, something to be carefully monitored and adhered to for precisely 24 hours. At this point, the bond magically breaks, and the soda you swore to stop drinking drowns the feelings of guilt, the chips you swore to stop eating dull the pangs of remorse, and the running shoes you swore to show the light of day continue to collect dust in the shadows.

As we move further into this New Year, the Contrarion wants to give you the inside scoop on the newly broken promises of some of the top minds in Canada.

Justin Bieber: “Stop making music.”

When 19-year-old Justin announced his “retirement” from the music scene, the reactions were mixed. The

15-and-under crowd wept at the loss of their teen-idol, and settled into a deep Beib-pression. Everyone else wept with joy. But fear not, true Beliebers, the once angel-voiced crooner turned super-awkward bad boy won’t be able to stay away from music. To the rest of the world: buy some earplugs. Bieber is here to stay.

Rob Ford: “Stop doing crack.”

The infamous Toronto mayor gave it the good old college try when he pledged to stay off the pipe for 2014. However, New Year’s Eve is an excellent time to get your drunken stupor on, and Ford simply couldn’t help himself. He smoked away his resolution, and he doesn’t see why you should have a problem with that. The upside: the population has been given another year full of awkward dancing at inappropriate times in meetings.

Avril Lavigne: “Give up black eyeliner.”

The newlywed certainly made a good effort on this one, vowing to lose the raccoon look for a more demure, lady-like complexion, now that she is married to the super-alwaysclassy Chad Kroeger. However, the most recent photo released to press of the “Sk8tr Boi” songstress shows that her face is now

COURTESY PHOTO 5/6ths eyeliner, because showing cheekbones is so not rock and roll.

Stephen Harper: “Hire better senators.”

It is, of course, too soon to see if Harper will break this promise.

It is, however, never too soon to speculate. With the average Conservative poll standings below 30 per cent – the lowest they’ve been since the party lost to Paul

Martin’s Liberals in 2004 – it is reasonable to conclude that Stephen will be more concerned with picking the best sweater vest to wear on Election Day than with picking better politicians to sit on Senate. Clearly, the way to the hearts of Canadian voters is through the perfect sweater vest.

Robin Daggers, a.k.a Colbie Smulders: “Go back to being Robin Sparkles.”

Don’t kid yourself, Robin.

No one can un-see the pure 90’s wonder of the “P.S. I Love You” grunge phase. It’s understandable that you would like to go back to a time when you had your own doughnut. But the dark plaid, the pseudomullet, and the awkward sex scenes with Royal Canadian Mounted Police are forever ingrained into the collective Canadian mind.

Scans reveal how men and women’s brains are wired Jessica Avolio Recently, scientists have discovered that the neural circuitry of the brains of men and women greatly differ.

After drawing on nearly 1,000 brain scans, scientists found stark differences between the two, stating that women’s brains are better suited to social skills and memory, and men’s brains better suited to perception and coordination.

Maps of neural circuitry showed that women’s brains were often highly connected between the right and left hemispheres. In opposition, men’s brains were typically stronger between the front and back regions.

Scientists were incredibly surprised that all their findings completely confirmed the stereotype that men and women are, indeed, different. “This is definitely not confirmation bias,” said Chris Campbell, head scientist of this study.

“We were overjoyed when our

findings confirmed every single set belief we had about the established differences between the two genders.”

Women were shown to be better equipped for multitasking, which confirmed the idea that women can wash dishes, do laundry, and make sandwiches all at the same time.

Men’s brains were, of course, wired for more coordinated actions, meaning they are all better than women with actions such as playing professional sports, video games, and (in general) the ability to use both sides of the body together in a coordinated way - unlike women, who are widely known to be clumsy, and terrible at sports and video games.

The study also shows that women are better at distinguishing colours, which makes sense considering women love fashion and decorating. Men were more sensitive to rapidly moving stimuli, such as shiny sports

COURTESY PHOTO cars and Skyrim.

Sales of the book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” have skyrocketed, as many are now moving away from the belief that gender binaries are influenced through well-established social constructs.

“There is absolutely no way people could misrepresent these findings to confirm their preconceived notions of gender,” says Campbell. “Nope, definitely not.”

The great majority seems overjoyed that they no longer have to question their current

thought process on gender.

Researchers who worked on this project are planning on directing all future research to other fields of study, since their groundbreaking findings on the differences between the genders has finally come to a conclusion.

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4 Quality time: do it right Carleigh Cathcart Friends, there comes a time when you have to take a moment to pause, and reflect on your priorities and values. These days, our minutes and hours are precious commodities that cannot be taken for granted. The frantic pace of the modern world has whittled availability down to almost nothing, and by necessity, I have learned how to appropriately spend my free moments - read and learn.

Texting is probably the most crucial activity for your free time. The best texters are essentially texting nonstop. It is important to check your text messages the second you wake up in the morning so you don’t miss anything important - like that last time, when you didn’t respond to Tina’s “hey” until 11:03 a.m. You don’t want her thinking that you’re dead, and if you aren’t texting, you pretty much are anyway. You should also text as much as possible while having conversations with your family members. After all, you don’t see them that much, and have vital business to discuss with those you see most of the year. It’s a great excuse to pretend you’re listening, too. Just ensure the occasional head nod and ‘mmhm,’ and your fellow converser will be astounded by

your listening skills. If an unavoidable question arises, just revert to panic mode, actually lift your head to make eye contact with the other person, and sheepishly say, “uh, what? Sorry.” It’s instantly impressive.

The next most important use of free time is Facebook. Don’t just go on Facebook to check messages, creep photos, and wish happy birthdays (because let’s face it, you never remember those on your own anyway). Make sure you stay logged in all day. Show exasperation when your parents ask you to turn it off and join the dinner table, but do what they ask. You can just open Facebook on your phone, after all, and stealthily monitor notifications under the table. Your family members won’t notice, because non-tech savvy people can’t see you typing under desks and tables.

You should also spend some time using Snapchat. Your constant use of this application will amuse your family members for hours. Be sure to send all your friends hilarious pictures when waking up, going to the bathroom, eating breakfast, and feeding the dog. Stop in mid-conversation with your sister to send a funny look to Justin. At Christmas dinner, frequently lay down your cutlery, hold up your phone, and

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COURTESY PHOTO make a duck face. Parents always get a kick out of that; you’ll practically become the family comedian.

Twitter will make sure you stay up to date with all your favourite celebrities – especially the Kardashians. Try to follow new stars every day, because when they ‘follow’ you in return, it isn’t a marketing strategy - they actually want to be your friend! It’s a good idea to send cryptic tweets that no one will understand, because 140 characters isn’t enough for them to complain back, anyway.

If your family complains about your constant use of this app,

tweet about it in frustration.

Without Instagramming your turkey dinner, no one will believe you even had one. Make sure you hashtag every food item and ingredient, plus every expression that is remotely close to ‘yum.’ If you don’t get at least 30 likes on it, you might want to consider closing your account. #nicetry #maybenexttime #sorrynotsorry #tryagain #notevenclose Finally, when you’ve maxed out your interaction with your peers, be sure to avoid any activity with family members by filling the remaining void with nonstop

television shows and movie marathons on Netflix. You want to ensure there is no actual face time spent with your kin, because that is just unbearable and wrong.

Repeat episodes of your favourite shows, because you’re closer to those characters than your family anyway. Get angry when a family member interrupts you by trying to talk or asking if you’d like to do something outside. Some people have unrealistic expectations.

There you have it - six very important ways to spend the free time with your family. Nothing says bonding time like the glow of a screen.

University of Guelph has big plans this year Benjamin West University to announce $400 million dollar EvenBetterPlanet Project The U of G is expected to meet the BetterPlanet Project $200 million fundraising target in time for the university’s 50th anniversary celebration. In response to those who have been wondering, ‘What comes next?’ the administration is expected to announce the programs spiritual successor:

the EventBetterPlanet Project.

It is hoped that this “enhanced target” will make the planet twice as good, and compensate for budget shortfalls.

Administration to rename Courselink ‘Desire2Course’ Professors who still have a tough time remembering the name of the U of G’s online courseware service, Courselink, will be relieved to learn that the administration is changing the name

of the service to ‘Desire2Course’ in order to better accommodate those who remember all too well the days of Desire2Learn. “I feel like it changes every year,” said one professor. In a statement, the administration said it hopes to keep this iteration for “at least two years.”

Library to install portables on Johnston Green In its constant struggle for more study space, McLaughlin

Library will be installing some twenty portables on Johnston Green during the last month of the semester. “We’ve listened to the student population: they want more space and that’s what they’ll get,” the library said in a statement. While this is just an interim solution, the library is confident that it will “get the job done.”

Student Health Services to introduce couples counselling Student Health Services says

it is recognizes that the majority of mental health issues stem from some sort of relationship trouble. As a result, Student Health Services is planning to offer a student-run couples counselling program. Student volunteers will moderate the service. Interested applicants must have must have experience with at least two failed relationships. Applicants who have experience in long-distance relationships will be preferred.

Weather will continue to be weather-y Stacey Aspinall Ontario residents are still cleaning up from a massive snow and ice storm that occurred recently.

People are surprised that, in a country like Canada, residents still have to deal with gross injustices such as winter weather.

“The weather is just, weatheriffic, really,” said a local resident

of the snowfall. “It’s like, there’s snow, just, everywhere. It’s almost like a bunch of snow just fell from the sky and accumulated on the ground. I’ve never seen anything quite like it before.”

“It’s really, really, really fucking cold outside,” another resident added.

People are taking to social media, such as Twitter and

Facebook, to express their thoughts on the storm. “#weather,” tweeted one concerned Canadian. “#snow,” tweeted another, adding an interesting perspective to the discussion.

“Snowwwww day! Screw school im gonna eat cookies and playy video games,” Facebooked one obnoxious tween. “Get off the

Internet and go help shovel the driveway Jimmy,” the tween’s mom replied on the post. At the time of publication, it is unclear whether the driveway in question has been cleared or not, but one thing is certain: it continues to snow outside and people continue to be surprised about that.

“Be sure to expect more

weather-y stuff this winter. It will probably snow again,” a meteorologist predicted.

One thing is for sure: weather will continue to dominate conversations across the nation, making it impossible to conduct small talk on anything other than complaints about weather. The good news is that this could temporarily displace conversations about Miley Cyrus.

University students among high rollers after receiving OSAP disbursements Gabrielle Dickert Local business owners in Guelph, ON have confirmed that with the students back in town, business is continuing with fullfledged sales – and in some cases, numbers are up from Christmas

and Boxing week. First-year student, Tyler Clugston, expressed this gratitude towards his grant: “Yeah, I got my OSAP, so I finally took the wifey out for a nice date – maybe that’ll get her off my case for a while.” Thirdyear student, Andy Dippell said,

“Yeah, I really wanted the Xbox One for Christmas, but I didn’t get it, so I just waited and bought it with my OSAP. I don’t think I’ll have time for classes now.”

Second-year student, Brittany Lindenberg, expressed her sadness, as she is not an OSAP

recipient. “Yeah, I don’t get OSAP like some of my friends,” said Lindenberg, “but since everyone else was buying stuff, I went to the bank and raised the limit on my credit cards – I can finally afford a life of luxury, and I’ll just pay for it

after school’s done.”

Some students have found that, with their excessive purchases with their OSAP money, they’re going to have to find part-time jobs by the end of the semester to be able to pay for textbooks, food and rent.

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Guelph man can’’’t decide what to eat for dinner

Settles on Kraft Dinner Marc Sgrignoli

Confronted with hunger pains in the early evening of Jan. 8, Guelph resident Tom Tomlinson cooked two boxes of KD to share with his wife and dog.

When questioned as to why he chose to go the route he did, Tomlinson responded, “There just wasn’t anything good in the house. There were a few things in the freezer, but I was hungry and they would have taken too long to heat. Also, the lack of an acceptable side dish was troubling. It was one of those nights where you just can’t make up your mind despite opening the fridge door multiple times.”

Earlier in the day, TMZ.com (in addition to other media outlets) reported that Tomlinson was thinking of ordering out, having seriously considered pizza and Greek as options.

Reporters, who noticed a grocery bill for $50 from the

evening before on his counter and realized that he had nothing to show for it today, later refuted this. In a phone conversation moments before he committed to Kraft Dinner, Tomlinson said, “I can’t believe it, I was just at the grocery store and came home with two bags full of stuff. Where did it all go?

I am literally staring at ketchup and mustard right now.”

Frustrated, the Guelph resident filled a pot of water, threw it on the stove and turned it to MAX, something he had not done since falling ill last January and cooking chicken noodle soup. When questioned, his wife Julia made clear that “Tom didn’t even bother to stir occasionally as directed on the box. He just set the timer for seven minutes and placed a strainer in the sink, all the while mumbling something about being too tired to go to the store again. I just think he got to the point where he had resigned himself to the fact that tonight’s dinner was going to be bad – my poor husband.”

After the meal, Tomlinson admitted that, although full, he craved a little something else and had been thinking about a meat option while eating the KD. As for why he ate a box and a half instead of his usual one, he responded, “That’s simple.

I usually eat a box myself and I knew that cooking one wasn’t going to be enough for all of us (referring to his wife and dog). What I didn’t know was that Julia was only going to eat half a box. Even when you take out three large tablespoons to mix with the dog’s food, that’s still almost half a box left over, and everyone knows KD isn’t good the next day. I felt I had no choice.”

At the time of publication, Tomlinson was seen sitting on the couch thumbing through the Food Basics flyer looking for breakfast options. When questioned about tomorrow night’s dinner, he responded by saying that it was too far in advance to speculate seriously at this point.

PHOTO BY SHARLA SALVA

Food invention receives bad rap New “breakfast cupcake” leaves nutritionists questioning items healthfulness Jessica Avolio In early December, a woman by the name of Shelly Waynes was doing a bit of baking experimentation in her Guelph home. After a few bad recipe mishaps, she stumbled across a tasty treat she later dubbed the “breakfast cupcake.” These breakfast cupcakes come in flavours such as chocolate chip, double chocolate, banana nut, chocolate caramel, raspberry cheesecake, and many others.

Often sprinkled with sugar granules, laced with caramel, or stuffed with chunks of chocolate, Waynes wants everyone to know that, while they look exactly like muffins, “these are very different from [muffins], because they are much

sweeter, but can still be eaten for breakfast.”

Nutritionists seem to be outraged that Waynes is attempting to pass this “dessert” as a breakfast item.

“We should really be eating pancakes, cream cheese danishes, donuts, or other things dubbed as ‘breakfast’ items for a wellbalanced breakfast,” says Robert Medle, a nutritionist on the Guelph campus.

But the craze has already hit, and many are trading in more nutritional breakfast meals for these new breakfast cupcakes.

The government is worried about the growing obesity epidemic, and the development of this new breakfast food with a poor nutritional profile is only adding to their concern.

With breakfast being the most important meal of the day, many continue to stress the importance of eating a balanced meal that contains food from every food group.

“When in doubt, stick with a food that we typically associate with the

PHOTO BY WENDY SHEPHERD word ‘breakfast’,” says Medle. “If we do this, we can avoid unhealthy doses of sugar in the mornings with these horrible inventions such as a the breakfast cupcake.”

Websites such as timhortons. com offer a “Healthier Options”

tab to help you plan for a healthier breakfast while on-the-go. These “Healthier Options” feature a Muffin category with flavours such as Chocolate Chip and Triple Chocolate listed underneath.

“What’s next, breakfast cakes?”

says Medle, laughing at the possibility. “Let’s just stick to eating the well-established ‘breakfast’ items, and not eat such an obviously unhealthy item, like the breakfast cupcake, during the most important meal of the day.”

Twitter ranks number one in celebrity news reliability Gagan Batra In a new study of social media websites released Friday, Jan. 3, it has been revealed that Twitter ranks number one in celebrity news reliability. It was a close competition between Twitter and Instagram, but in the end, Twitter was victorious. This

study has shown that tweets can reveal a lot more than just the profound thoughts of celebrities.

Twitter CEO, Dick Costolo, expressed his delight at the high news content of Twitter.

Costolo encouraged Internet users to look to what celebrities are tweeting as a source of news for exciting television

plans and other factoids from their thrilling lives. “Twitter is the number one place for news,” Costolo stated in a public forum on Internet activity Tuesday, Jan. 7. “If you want to know what’s going on in the world of entertainment, follow stars like Will Smith and Paris Hilton. I guarantee you won’t find a more reliable

source than what the celebrities themselves are tweeting.”

In the past, Twitter has been praised for its ability to provide real-time information and ease of access. Unlike other websites that may ask for proof of identity, Twitter makes it easy for people to sign up, so virtually anyone can do it. This makes it easier for people to

follow their favourite stars.

Near the end of the forum, Costolo explained that he sees a long future for Twitter.

Not only does he want people to turn to tweets for celebrity info, but he envisions an Internet where Twitter is the first place people go for news on science, politics, and even business.

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Discovery of dirds Dog and bird hybrid spark controversy between creationists and evolutionists Ylime Senoj The discovery of dirds was a huge news piece in 2013, responsible for sparking debate and confusion amongst believers of all kinds. Who would have thought it was possible for dogs to mate with birds and develop a new kind of species? These cute, lovable creatures have what appears to be a dogs face on a birds body.

There are sometimes alternative outcomes such as “bogs” – a species with a birds head on dogs body, but it’s uncommon.

In speaking with the head of the scientific research committee at The Bird Institute in the county of Northern Birdsaw, Dr. Brian Birdsworth exclaimed, “This is unreal! I could never

have thought up something so incredible after all of these years studying birds! I now have the ability to study these marvellous dirds! I love them!” The utter excitement ushered its way through the institute, and dirds were fluttering freely throughout. “They even lick your face like a dog would, they just fly on up and pop a seat on your shoulder and lick your face,” said Birdsworth.

These dirds may be the evolutionary alternative to living in close quarters, but not having enough space for a full-size dog. An owner would be able to obtain the cuteness of a dog face with the quietness of a small, chirping bark – and it’s likely to ensure the approval of all neighbours. It also assures that there will no longer be a need to pick up waste, your dird will just do it’s business while you take it for a fly, like a bird would. The downside of this is that it still

COURTESY PHOTO smells like dog waste, so be wary of dirds flying overhead.

The controversy will of course continue. How did this happen?

Dirds-are they a miracle, or an evolutionary discovery? This is a debate that continues on Internet feeds and in comments

everywhere. Will there ever be a way to close this debate, or will creationists and evolutionists have to try to agree to disagree?

Young woman appalled to wake up with blonde hair Stacey Aspinall “I really didn’t know what I was in for,” said a young woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, of what she experienced as a result of an as-of-yet unexplained event in which she woke up one morning, transformed by a drastic hair colour change that occurred seemingly overnight. She is now dealing with the side effects of becoming blonde, and reeling from the loss of her naturally brown locks.

The former brunette’s life has been transformed by the change and

Steve Spular

— from dumb blonde jokes to the scientifically-supported and selfevident notion that blondes have more fun — has found adjusting to her new life challenging. She is also worried that this could happen to others, as this phenomenon seems to be contagious.

Blondeness, and the personality change one goes through as a result, has a tendency to spread like a virus within groups of friends and among acquaintances.

Studies conducted by the International Haircare Sociology Institute indicate that being friends with a

“fake” blonde can increase your chances of catching blondeness by up to 70 per cent — a sobering statistic that has many individuals concerned.

In addition to the overwhelming desire to “let loose” and “have fun,” she also confessed a desire to frequent the tanning salon, coupled with a strong urge to acquire fake acrylic nails and compulsively quote Alicia Silverstone from the 1995 film Clueless multiple times a day without a hint of irony. When asked if she would take steps to reverse the

effects of the change, she replied, “As if.” It is clear that, at this point, it may already be too late to salvage her previous identity as a book-smart brunette.

“What I’m interested in is whether by consciously adhering to normative modes of stereotypical behaviour linked to appearance, while remaining critical of its influence during my daily interactions, it is possible to subvert these expectations while also, to some degree (in a poststructuralist sense) being ‘always already’ blonde, or if the very fact that my

external appearance has such ramifications upon the perception of my enacted social identity speaks for the inherently performative aspects of identity and ultimately serve to highlight the futility of trying to control how others perceive me?” she said, in a stunning but brief blitz of “deep” thinking.

“Or whatever. Someone get me a shot of tequila.”

But at the end of the day, she emphasized an important message: “I’m not a blonde who happens to be a person. I’m a person who happens to be blonde.”

President Obama: drones on

In the dark days of the Bush administration, the American government made the incredibly important decision to use drone technology. Under this administration, the United States owned 170 drones and hired some of the finest gamers in the armed forces to man these drones in a top secret location known as area 51.

Edward Snowden, who continues to leak information regarding the recent NSA scandal, currently resides in the Presidential Palace in Moscow, and has recently indicated that

he does not wish to return to the United States, even if he is granted diplomatic immunity.

Snowden has calculated that he is safer residing in this palace under Putin’s protection than he would be in any other country. At this point, Snowden finds it easier learning Russian than imagining a life back in America, but is leaving his options open in case the Presidential Palace becomes uncomfortable. The NSA considers Snowden enemy number one, and makes Julian Assange appear a minor player in the WikiLeaks drama.

Americans have always wanted

to be number one in everything, and espionage is no exception. They now hold that record in two departments. They have more information on everybody in the world than anyone else in the world. The main problem is that Snowden has informed the world, and now every world leader is asking President Obama, “Are you bugging me?”

The United States also holds the record for the biggest snitch in the world thanks to Snowden, who is now a cult hero worldwide.

Under the Obama administration, the United States has increased drone usage by over 4000 per cent, and the President has decided

that it is better to risk drones than American citizens. The American Treasury Department has indicated that Obama is also considering changing something about the currency. Instead of reading “In God We Trust,” he is considering altering the American bills to read “In Drones We Trust.”

Science and technology are now such major components of American education that this change will soon be inevitable. In America, the worship of the drone is becoming the fastest growing religion. Our own Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, is looking to adopt drone technology to protect

the North Pole from the Russians, but realizes that he will need a very robust model. Harper is considering using a fur model, still in the developmental stage, which will be called the Beaver 1.

Currently, Amazon.com, in concert with the American Postal Service, has decided to experiment with sending parcels by drone, and soon drones will be seen everywhere. Rumour has it that the United States is looking for the finest gamers in the nation to work in Area 51 on three 8-hour shifts a week, and that they will be increasing 7000 drone screens to 70,000 screens by 2016.

Perfecting being perpetually poor Gabrielle Dickert Feeling the perpetual pinch of being poor? Time to take out another credit card!

It’s a new year, you deserve a new you! Another credit card will allow you to sign up for that gym membership you need (oh boy did the holidays take a toll on you this year),

some new gym clothes, healthy foods, all new school supplies and other organizational tools, along with other necessities for your student life.

And a reading week trip – yeah, that can go on the card as well.

Next time you’re at the bank and the teller says you’re approved for a raise on your limit, it’s because they know how financially responsible

you are. It’s not because it’s in their best interest to receive higher interest payments. So increase that limit. While you’re at it, you might as well get overdraft on your bank account so you don’t have to be stressed out if you’re going to be a day late on your rent. It’s necessary that you avoid all of those bounced cheques and awkward

conversations by agreeing to that 20-something per cent overdraft the bank trusts you with.

Scraping by to make those interest payments each month? Might as well find a loan shark to charge you 30 per cent annually on top of that base payment to get enough money so you can pay your rent.

What’s great about the degree

you’re working for is that it’s a oneway ticket to consistent employment and career growth for the rest of your life. Never again will you be looking for a job. You can move along merrily in your life knowing that you will always have a steady stream of income. So, why not drown yourself in debt while getting that piece of paper? No harm can come of that, right?

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Riot at Leafs game leaves dozens injured Andrew Donovan What started out as a typical Leafs shellacking, down 5-0 to the Edmonton Oilers, turned into a riot more accustomed to soccer matches in England than an NHL arena in Southern Ontario.

It was two minutes into the third when Dion Phaneuf netted a rare goal that sent some of the crowd into a disillusioned frenzy. One fan was heard exclaiming, “We still got this,” as he fist-pumped the air. Soon after, the same fan, identified as a 20-25 year old male, 5’10”, brown hair, and sporting a Mats Sundin jersey, tried to whoop the remaining crowd into frenzy with a “Go Leafs Go” chant.

This is when reports of the carnage at the Air Canada Centre become unclear. Testimonies from inside the arena say that the incessant cheering, from one unidentified fan in particular, drove hordes of men in $4000 suits to throw their BlackBerry devices at him, demanding he,

“sit down and shut-up.”

“I come to the ACC to fire off e-mails, get $15 beers off my quadrillionaire boss, and meditate to the sounds of rubber puck on a wooden stick. I don’t come here to deal with the noise pollution from bluecollar fans from the suburbs. If I wanted that, I’d travel to any of the other 29 arenas in the league,” said one disgruntled fan, as he brushed the dirt off his Versace pinstriped navy blue suit.

Police inside the arena were overpowered by the anvil-like wallets of the suited men, and by the time back up arrived, the damage had been done and the blood had been shed.

Toronto Police Chief, Phil Clair, issued this brief statement to the press as the last of the fires were extinguished, and the last of the bodies pulled.

“It is with great sadness that I speak to you today. Toronto, the Leafs franchise, and Canada as a whole, will rise above the delinquent, anarchic actions

COURTESY PHOTO that occurred at the ACC tonight.

Cheering loudly and being passionate at a game inside the ACC is strictly forbidden; it always

has been, and always will be.

Our officers are deployed at the games to ensure a somber, relaxing setting for corporate CEOs,

and going forward we will make adjustments to ensure that this never happens in Toronto again.

You have my word.”

Clothing drive for Partytown frequenters in UC Cold weather continues Adrien Potvin A local awareness group did their first Partytown Clothing Drive at the University Centre, with the aim of providing frequenters of downtown Guelph’s nightlife scene access to adequate clothing for the coming months of subzero clubbing. Their mission:

Emily Blake A new poll has revealed that an overwhelming number of Canadian citizens want Toronto’s current mayor, Rob Ford, to run in the next federal election.

Approximately 20 million Canadians responded to the federal poll indicating their top choices for

Alyssa Ottema Rob Ford The Toronto mayor was a popular subject in media this year, between his humanitarian efforts, his quest to end world hunger, and his attempts to be remain relevant to the classy population of his constituency while remaining popular with the everyman. Despite an excellently justified foray into the world of hard drugs, Ford refused to let his drunken stupors get the best of him, effectively and efficiently running Canada’s biggest city.

Pope Francis The new pope not only saw fit to adopt a completely new name, but

to offer warmth to all, including those without a shred of common sense.

Reception to the event’s planning has been warm, but nonetheless mixed. The Contrarion went to the heart of downtown Guelph to see what the actual patrons had to say.

Third year geography student, Marie Cranstonbrandt, was enthused and offered a

thoughtful, ethical rationale.

“You know, they can’t help it if they’re born without a shred of common sense, and it doesn’t mean they should be cold when getting right ripped downtown in the winter months. It’s an issue that I find is overlooked in today’s self-centred society,” said Cranstonbrandt.

Others were less enthused, maintaining that it infringes on

an individual’s basic right to wear nothing but a skintight v-neck or a club dress in -30 C weather and complain to everyone within earshot. Chud Brodski, a first year marketing major, argued that the patrons of downtown have a civic duty to be as frigid and whiny as they can be.

“Not bringing a coat and whining about it is a staple of downtown, and to take that away

is just insensitive,” said Brodski.

“Like, I can’t wheel when I’m all sweaty from a coat, yo, and if I’m gonna haggle for burritos or throw up in cabs, I gotta be freezin’ for that, bro. And that’s how I roll, bud.”

Regardless of the drive’s public disposition, organizers are optimistic that many will come forward and donate their gently used clothing to the cause.

Rob Ford for Prime Minister Canada’s next political leader.

It also indicated that there was also a strong preference for Celine Dion and Chad Kroeger as future candidates for Prime Minister.

However, neither of these individuals shared quite the same popularity as Ford who gained 70 per cent of the vote.

Rob Ford has become popular

among Canadians largely due to his humanitarian efforts, which have come to light during the past year. Most notably, the mayor of Canada’s largest city has taken great personal risk to tackle drug use and crime. In 2013, Ford visited a Toronto crack house, met gang members, and even tried illegal drugs - all in the name of

better understanding crime in the city of Toronto.

“I’d like to see Rob Ford take his personal politics to the federal level,” said Sharon Wells, a Canadian citizen who voted for Ford in the recent poll. “I especially appreciate how respectful he is of women,” she added, pointing to Ford’s strong personal feminist politics.

Ford has neither confirmed nor denied the possibility of running in the next federal election. At the moment, he is working hard on his mayoral campaign. When asked about changes he would like to see made at the federal level, the mayor said he’d like to see “an end to the federal gravy train and a harder stance on drug related crime.”

Top newsmakers of 2013 thought it prudent to address the rampant over-spending of church money on personal luxuries, investigate the ever-present issue of sexual assault, announce an acceptance of homosexuality, and refuse to let the church buy him a new pair of shoes. What an embarrassment this man has been to the Catholic Church at such a volatile time.

North West Unfortunately, it is not the oft ignored direction that made a splash in the news in 2013. Rather, it was the offspring of Kimye – that is, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West – who made headlines. One incredibly interesting article explored the rumours that young North does

car commercials in Japan, while another explored the riveting true story of one civilian, who wrote, “One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.”

Paula Deen The wannabe Martha Stewart attempted to further comparisons between herself and the Queen of Home-making by attempting to get herself in trouble with the law.

Unable to figure out exactly how it is that stocks work, Deen decided that explicit racism was more her speed, entering into a lawsuit which revealed that Deen does indeed support racially discriminatory language. Unfortunately for Paula, the case settled without

jail time or house arrest, and the comparisons to Martha dried up with the fake tears she managed to squeeze out in her deposition.

Kim Jong Un After several threats to completely eradicate the United States of America, recent polls have shown that Kim Jong Un is the biggest fear for the majority of the North American population. Eighty-four per cent of children report to believing that the North Korean dictator is the monster that hides in their closets, and 98 per cent of adults believe that Kim Jong Un’s warnings to America are “completely terrifying” and “definitely real threats to national security.”

And, of course…

The University of Guelph When the University of Guelph made it to the top of the front page a record of four times on the popular social networking site, Reddit, Gryphons far and wide rejoiced. The viral pic of campus police handing out candy canes in the library, artistically entitled “Ho Ho Ho from the Po Po Po,” even circulated around other popular internet areas like Tumblr and Pinterest. This newfound internet relevancy reminded Guelph students exactly what they were paying for. Many students also noted a newfound confidence in the university to provide a quality education after the rise in popularity.