saynever…

story by | kathleen wrigley

Life is rich with possibilities. Opportunities abound and the prospects are plentiful. Yet, as a parent and a grown-up, I hear myself saying “never” too often. I’m learning the hard way that it’ll come back to bite ya. The older I get, the more “never sandwiches” I eat!

The word “never” is negative. It’s constricting. It lacks hope. Booooor-ing. I read once that “one should never say never. For if you live long enough, you will not be able to abide by its restrictions.”

Life is limitless, and I’m trying not to set silly boundaries. Still, I’ve recently digested a couple of those “never sandwiches.” While I wasn’t particularly hungry for them, it was my decision. Unfortunately, I kind of force-fed them to my husband, Drew. Drew isn’t close-minded. He’s just, well, more decisive than me.

So, when I exacerbating promised him two years ago that I would “never have another garage sale,” he looked concerned and confused, when I told him, “guess what?! We’re having a garage sale in July! ” In my defense, men don’t understand the volatility of hormone levels and the impact they have on decisiveness. That said, anyone who’s ever organized a garage sale knows they’re stressful and chaotic…alone. Throw in three kids, one being a toddler, and they’ll push any level-headed person over-the-edge!

Still, I reserve the right to change my mind, even if it means eating one of those “never sandwiches.” I couldn’t have guessed how claustrophobic my life and my storage room would get after saying “never” to a garage sale.

Good thing, too; it was a success for all of us! Our storage room and garage have ample room to grow…again. There was only one tussle that erupted after another toddler held tight to the stuffed animal his mom gave him in exchange for a few minutes of uninterrupted shopping. Poor Harper got socked, after the two toddlers played tug-a-war with her already tattered pooh. She’s tough though, and not to be pitied. She felt victorious after tattling to his mommy, “you baby hit me.” Score.

Our older two kids set up a refreshment stand and sold lemonade, special k bars and brownies. Yes, we were busy. Between pricing and tagging and folding and lugging Rubbermaids, we baked and mixed, too.

Their goal: to raise money for the YWCA shelter. How do you walk away empty-handed, after hearing these little entrepreneurial, hopeful voices say, “All proceeds go to the YWCA shelter.” Their sale alone raised $47.75! And, even though I took the tip jar away that they made and set out for themselves [helllllo!], they still managed to garner extra coins for a job well-done. All tips were donated to the larger YWCA fund. They were proud as peacocks when they hand-delivered the donation themselves!

A successful day, no doubt. Without which would not have happened had I stuck to my promise of “never.”

We recently ate another “never sandwich” after years of hard work protesting and debating trampolines. The kids were united and persistent. Their parents were, too, albeit for different reasons. One was concerned about safety. The other’s gripe was more centered on the aesthetic look of the gigantic netted attraction. What? They only look beautiful to an 8-year-old. The kids’ list of pros fell on deaf ears, until this spring when I asked Drew, “what do you think about a trampoline? It’s not like they’re not jumping on them anyway.” Family and neighbors’ back yards are adorned with these centerpieces. Why not have them playing at our own house? Again, Drew looked as if I’d thrown him under the bus. Kids are smart, too. They saw a tiny glimmer of hope [or weakness?] in mommy and lunged.

The debate was re-born. Drew is trained and good at arguing his case and was determined not to be out-smarted by the tenacious creatures who inherited his skill. So, he went to work on his own list, quoting the injury probabilities and the fact that the American Academy of Pediatrics reaffirmed “trampolines should never be used in the home.” All of which fell on tiny, deaf ears. Blah. Blah. Blah, daddy.

Patrick’s huge bright blue eyes simply said, “but they’re so fun, Dad. We promise to follow the rules.” Quinny’s words were more carefully planned and organized. “Dad, you had one as a kid and loved it. Plus, there are more injuries on bikes and you let us ride our bikes. And, we jump on other people’s, so why can’t we jump on our own in our own yard?” Both have their own style, much different from the other, but equally as persuasive. Those eyes melt me and her logic cannot be ignored. Yup, we ate another “never sandwich” on our way to Sam’s club.

So it goes…we’re a work in progress. Not exactly a quick study, but I console myself by admitting that life’s a journey. It’s a process and, there’s a large learning curve. I do know this: never is a long time. Live large. Jump high and hard and, without knowing what’s ahead and the endless possibilities, never ever ever say never. Not ever...unless you plan on eating those words later.

Kathleen Wrigley is a Philadelphia native, wife to Drew, and Mother of three, Quinn, Patrick and Harper. Kathleen is a full-time stay-at-home mom who dutifully volunteers. She serves on several community boards & committees, is active in her church, kids' school, and politics, and runs to sustain her own mental health! Before children, she was Director for Bismarck's Child Advocacy Center and was a former speech writer.

Fresh Fruit Salsa & Baked Cinnamon Pita Chips

Serve as an after school snack, a pre-dinner appetizer or even desert. This no-nonsense, quick and easy dish is super tasty and offers a variety of fruit combinations to fit your family’s liking.

prep: 20 minutes | cook: 10 minutes chill: 15 minutes | ready: 45 minutes serves: 10 what you need: salsa:

• 4 Kiwis, peeled and diced

• 2 Golden Delicious Apples, peeled, cored and diced

• 1 pound strawberries, diced

• 1 tablespoons white sugar*

• 1 tablespoon brown sugar*

• 2 tablespoons fruit preserves, any flavor

*can substitute with stevia or another natural sweetener pita chips:

• 10 [10 inch] flour tortillas*

• Cinnamon sugar

• Butter flavored cooking spray

* store bought pita chips are also an option how to make it:

1. In a large bowl, thoroughly mix kiwis, apples, strawberries, white sugar, brown sugar and fruit preserves. Cover and chill in fridge for a minimum of 15 minutes.

2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

3. Coat one side of each tortilla with butter flavored cooking spray. Cut into wedges with a pizza cutter and arrange in a single layer [sprayed side up] on a lightly sprayed, large baking sheet. Sprinkle wedges with desired amount of cinnamon sugar.

4. Bake 8 to 10 minutes. Repeat with any remaining tortilla wedges. Allow to cool approximately 15 minutes. [store bought pita chips are also an option]

5. Serve with chilled fruit salsa.

North Dakota Heart Gallery

As an only child born to parents Larry and Debbie Bartholomay, Kasey grew up on a farm NE of Mapleton, ND before he attended NDSU where he received a major in Business Administration with minors in Mass Communication and Art. Kasey and his wife, Lisa, of seven and a half years, are giddy parents to an on the go two and a half year old, Brooks Dakota. When Kasey isn’t stacking fruit and veggies and managing the produce department at the Moorhead Hornbacher’s grocery store, he can be found hunting the prairie, fishing the lakes country or tailgating at Bison football games with family and friends.