it really does take a village

story by | carrie carney

In the weeks before a recent work trip, I found myself in panic mode. How could I be away from my 2—year-old for five days? Where would he stay? What if something happened while I was gone? Who was going to love him and comfort him while I was 1,500 miles away?

My heart pounded and I had the weight of an elephant on my chest when these questions would cross my mind. And cross my mind they did. Often. There were many sleepless nights. My drive to work would involve heart-racing scenarios of what could happen.

Then, a couple of weeks before my trip, the answers started falling into place. My stress decreased. I had a realization…it really does take a village to raise a child.

Thank goodness our own little village is made up of such wonderful people. Wonderful people who truly love my son, Jack.

The plan: he'd stay at my brother's house. Jeremy was going to be out of town, but my sister-in-law [who is really more of a sister] eagerly volunteered to watch

Jack. She's known him since day one and loved him just as long. This gave me comfort. Jennifer is careful, yet fun; a rule follower and incredibly loving. I felt at ease knowing that he'd be safe and cared for in the evenings, yet have his routine of daycare during the day.

And then a wrench was thrown into my plan. At our ritual Sunday dinner with my brother's family, Jack had an allergic reaction to their cats. This couldn't be happening now! He'd been around their pets millions of times before and now his poor little immune system rejected their environment.

The panic returned…but so did the village. Our family doctor, who has seen us through good times and bad and truly has our best interest in mind [and heart], advised a plan so he could still stay with Jennifer. Not only that, but our doctor said if there were any problems, to make sure Jennifer called her. Comfort washed over me again.

It took a team strategy to get me out of town and Jack’s routine running smoothly. My parents gladly made the trek to Fargo to help get Jack to daycare that Monday morning so I could catch an early flight. They were also understanding about me wanting to keep Jack in daycare that week, instead of sending him to stay with them [much to their disappointment]. Oh daycare. What would I do without this amazing woman who serves as caregiver and teacher to my sweet boy? Sandra and her mother, Sharon, [they're a team too!], have been family to Jack and me. I still don't know if it was just by luck that I found them or divine intervention.

And then there are friends who are only a phone call away. I knew that if something came up while I was away, Kelly or Ross would be there for Jack in a heartbeat. They've always loved him like their own. Again, I don't know how I got so lucky…but I did.

It wasn't easy to be away. The first night was difficult. I thought it was a good idea to talk to Jack on the phone. I thought that it would be good for both of us. I was wrong. As a mother, I've learned many things by trial and error and this was one hard lesson. He cried when he heard me speak. I cried when I heard his sweet little voice crack. I could picture his teary eyes and flushed cheeks and I desperately wanted to hold him. For the rest of the week, I relied on pictures Jennifer sent to get me through.

A two-year-old doesn't understand that mommy is leaving for just a few days. He couldn't grasp that I was coming back. My heart ached knowing that he didn't understand why I wasn't there. I worried that he felt abandoned, yet I took comfort in the fact that he was loved while I was away. The sweetest part of all of this was returning and holding this precious little person.

Family, friends, caregivers, medical providers - that's my village. Becoming a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me. Being a single mom makes it a little more interesting at times. All these wonderful people enable me to be the best mom I can be. All these people also help give Jack the best possible environment in which to grow up. I am eternally grateful and couldn't think of a better place, or for better people, to raise my child.

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