Ask the trainer

SOMETIMES YOUR WHY ISN’T ENOUGH

HEALTH LEADERS

2021

Your goals have to be tied to something that is unshakable. Unbreakable.

BY NICHELLE LAUS

Q: How do we stay focused?

Submitted by Maria Vitaro

A:The dog ate my homework. The cat ate the dog. My kids had dance, soccer, gymnastics, homework. My meeting ran late, finished early. Squirrel!!! There are so many reasons-explanations (excuses) as to why we fall off our game plan, or perhaps never start. Often we rationalize them in our head, when really, we know that if we just stayed the course and maybe put in a little extra effort, we’d see the results we want. But how do we stay focused? How do we create a need for our goals, rather than just do them when it’s convenient? I have two answers.

1) IT’S NOT ABOUT YOUR WHY!

We hear people talking on social media about “finding your why” or “finding your passion.” In my experience, you don’t find your passion. Your passion finds you. Like finding your one true love, you know it when you feel it. It hits you in the face, and you can’t think of anything else. But here’s the thing: sometimes your why isn’t going to be strong enough to carry you through. I know that’s blasphemy in the #fitspo world, but it’s true. My personal why is my boys. I want to show them what’s possible, what’s out there for them— demonstrate first hand that there’s nothing they cannot do! For me, that’s deeply rooted, it’s emotional, it’s important. But, one day my boys are going to grow up. They’re going to discover their own paths, which means there will be nothing tangible for me anymore. There will be nothing holding me to my goals. Your goals have to be tied to something that is unshakable. Unbreakable. Something so deep it inspires others, rather than you depending on others to inspire you.

2) MUST VS SHOULD

“Must” and “should” are both verbs, but according to the English language, “must” is used when expressing obligation or an unavoidable requirement, whereas “should” is more of a recommendation, or simply a desirable goal. What does this mean for you? You have to turn your “should” into a “must.” We do things we “should” when it’s convenient or because we feel guilty about it. We do things we “must” because we are compelled too. This is much deeper. We don’t feel whole without completing the task. Think about the urgency of the sentence, “I should lose 25lbs before my vacation.” As opposed to, “The doctor says I must lose 25lbs to become healthier.”

You feel the priority of the second sentence, right? I listened to an epic Tony Robbins talk on this. He says that what it comes down to is this, “The difference between 'must' and 'should' is the life you want and the life you have." When something is a “must,” you find a way. I hope you see that the trick to staying focused is really just a matter of reframing the “why” behind your goals and changing up the way you talk about them in a way where you “must” strive to attain them. This is your deepest self talking now. You have to listen.

Nichelle Laus Nichelle Laus is a mom of 4, a fitness expert, an on-air TV Fitness Personality, and a 7 time fitness cover model. Nichelle has changed thousands of women’s lives as a transformation specialist with her online training programs. nichellelaus.com P @nichellelaus