Options Magazine-December 2015

options December 2015

PET S and the LGBT Owners

Who Love Them

p. 12

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LGBTQ News, Resources & Events

GL AD Dreams Big in 2015 pg. 12

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VISIBLE 2015 RI PRIDE CELEBRATION

Official Guide to Pride

Let PrideFest

Entertain You! p. 40

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Visions for a Brighter Future

bb Hayes

NatioNal adoptioN MoNth:

Kids Seek lGBtQ parents

Stitch by Stitch

p. 18

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November 2015

October 2015

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Options | December 2015

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LGBTQ News, Resources & Events

AIDS Care Ocean State

Celebrates 25 Years

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options December 2015

PET S AND THE LGBT OWNERS

WHO LOVE THEM

p. 12

From the Editor Dear Reader, When we presented our 2014 Options covers at the end of last year, my emotions were mixed. It was enjoyable to review the breadth of topics we had explored, but my remorse for not clearly featuring any people of color on our covers overpowered that enjoyment. An Options teammate consoled me, saying, “You tried. You can’t help that we didn’t have the photos.” I remember thinking, “I can’t imagine people of color will think we tried.” Clearly, we tried harder this year.

I accepted a mysterious invitation to meet with Governor Raimondo and other “members of Rhode Island’s LGBT community” for a half hour on October 28. Upon arrival, we collectively discovered that about a dozen stalwart leaders had been invited and among them TGI Network, SAGE-RI, Youth Pride, RI Pride, and Options were represented. Having no agenda, the governor candidly asked how best to spend our 30 minutes.

While that opportunity to discuss issues such as trans health barriers, LGBTQ elder care, and PrideFest safety with the receptive governor was invaluable, no people of color were around the table. This predicament led to interesting discussions among attendees following the meeting, and I’m glad to report that we are working toward a solution.

At long last, sustained discourse about racism and systemic oppression in this country is happening, thanks to the Black Lives Matter movement.

It’s as appropriate an answer as any to the question: “What’s next after marriage equality?” It’s fitting for LGBTQ people, who ostensibly know the pain of prejudice, to rise in solidarity and shine a light on how racism and homophobia or transphobia intersect. I’m grateful for what this movement is teaching me, and I’m grateful for the hope that I feel when I imagine how far this discussion could go if we all keep fueling it. I hope you’ll experience similar optimism as Options explores this topic in more depth in 2016.

I’ve looked back; I’ve looked ahead; now to look at the issue in hand.

It’s a particularly fun one, featuring adorable pets (p. 12), an upbeat manabout-town (p. 26), and great news to report from both the trans (p. 7) and bi communities (p. 14). But Houston… they really do have a problem. (p. 10) Whatever you do, don’t miss this month’s Worth a Look; it will solve all your gay entertainment/stocking stuffer needs. (p. 38) As you spread holiday cheer, please consider sharing the offerings of our organization. At only $15, Options’ 2016 Legends Calendar makes an excellent gift or Yankee Swap present. A $25 donation to sign up a new Options subscriber is a wonderfully generous gift, both to the receiver and to this organization.

Wishing you an enlightening 2016, Jen Stevens

Rhode Island’s LGBTQ Community Magazine Since 1982 - FREE

Options | December 2015

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Options | December 2015

options

In This Issue:

Rhode Island’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community news source since 1982.

December 2015, Vol. XXXIV, Issue 8

Pets and the LGBT Owners Who Love Them p. 12

Bisexual Visibility at the White House p. 19

Interview with John Morse

Worth a Look

p. 26

2 2015 Options Covers 3 From the Editor 6 From the Publisher 6 Advertisers 7 Victory for Trans Health 8 Calendar 10 News Briefs 12 Pets and Their LGBT Owners 14 Bi Visibility at the White House 16 Beyond Marriage Equality

p. 38

19 Why SAGE Matters 20 Out on the Town 23 Pro Women’s Hockey League 25 News from RI Pride 25 Transosaurus Rex 26 John Morse: Life is Good 28 Youth Pride: Working with GSAs 30 Resources 38 Worth a Look

Home delivery is free! Subscribe at www.optionsri.org, email frank@optionsri.org, or write to us at our PO Box. © OPTIONS 2015. Options is published monthly. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the governing board, volunteers, or staff. Listings are provided as a resource and do not imply endorsement. Submissions to Options must include a phone number or email address. Names may be withheld on request. Submissions, ads, calendar, or resource listings for the January 2016 issue must be delivered by December 11.

Publisher Kyle McKendall kyle@optionsri.org Editor in Chief Jen Stevens editor@optionsri.org Resources Editor Myra Shays Calendar Editor Shaun Miller calendar@optionsri.org Copy Editors Julia Barber, Hannah Edgerly, Rex LeBeau, Maria Phillips, Myra Shays Graphic Design Theresa “Reese” Barzyk Photo Editor Michael Scanlon IV Writers Kurt Bagley, Adam Brooks, Lit Chick, Jeana DeLaire, Bradford Greer, Rex LeBeau, Jennifer Porcelli, Ellen Ruthstrom, Kelly Scafariello, Patrick Smock, Kim Stowell, Jaye Watts Photographer Ryan Clarke Finance Director Donny McKendall billing@optionsri.org Subscription Manager Francis Ryan frank@optionsri.org Distribution Coordinators Kellie & Belinda Marcil distribution@optionsri.org Advertising advertising@optionsri.org

Contact Us info@optionsri.org PO Box 6406 Providence, RI 02940 (401) 724-LGBT www.optionsri.org

Cover photo by Shana Gietl

Options | December 2015

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From the Publisher Dear Reader, People are often shocked to discover that Options has no full-time paid staff. Rather, we only contract with a part-time editor and designer. Articles are written and submitted by volunteers, nonprofit staff, and writers from across the state. A dedicated team of volunteer copy editors gathers three times each month to ensure we get things right. All operational roles, including advertising, distribution, subscription, and website management, are filled by passionate volunteers. We are grateful to these people who produce this award-winning publication at a level of professionalism and care that far exceeds what one might expect from a small nonprofit.

It is with great pride that the team sends this final issue of the year off to the printer. Options Magazine has experienced growth in almost all areas of the organization. In 2015 more than 68,000 copies were printed, with 29,000 mailed directly to subscriber’s homes. Our publication reaches 38 cities and towns in Rhode Island and 27 states across the country.

Readers often ask how we can afford printing and mailing costs, an amount that exceeds $4,500 each month. We rely on advertising income and donations to publish this invaluable publication. If you’re fortunate enough to be in a position to support our organization through advertising or a year-end donation, we hope you’ll do so. A $25 donation covers the cost of your subscription for a year, while $1,000 will fund the mailing of an entire issue to every reader. Your contribution will get us off to a great start in 2016 and put us in a position to grow our services and outreach. Donating is easy: • Give online at www.optionsri.org to use our safe and secure donation portal.

• Give by mail. Checks made out to Options Magazine can be sent to PO Box 6406, Providence, RI 02940.

• Give by phone using a credit card. Call (401) 724-5428.

In light of the success we’ve seen in 2015, we’re excited for the year ahead. We hope that you’ll continue to be engaged, comment on our editorial content, and provide input on our direction. On behalf of the entire organization, thank you for your readership and continued support. Without it, we couldn’t possibly publish Options.

Onward,

Kyle McKendall

Advertisers in This Issue ACOS: Adopt A Family..............................................................16 ACOS: Drag Bingo......................................................................... 7 ACOS: Know Your Status.........................................................37 AIDS Project RI.............................................................................17 Blue Cross Blue Shield of Rhode Island...........................18 City Kitty............................................................................................28 Cruise Planners................................................................................ 9 Do It Right........................................................................................22 Elmhurst Extended Care..........................................................29 Farewell to Kitty............................................................................15 Gregory’s Optical.........................................................................28 Jennifer A. Minuto, Attorney...................................................17 JDHS Photography.......................................................................24 John D. DaPonte, Mental Health Counselor.................37 Melissa DaSilva, Om Therapy.................................................28 Michael O’Mara, Mental Health Counselor...................37 Mister Sister Erotica....................................................................24 Neighborhood Health Plan of RI.........................................24 Options Magazine Legends Calendar................................15 Patriot Subaru.................................................................................22 Plumbing by Paul............................................................................. 6 PPAC - The Nutcracker...............................................................40 PSJ Prodcutions..............................................................................25 Rainbow Relics...............................................................................17 Red Fin Crudo................................................................................24 Residential Properties................................................................11 Senior Care Concepts...............................................................28 SERVPRO..........................................................................................18 The Stable.........................................................................................17 Stephen J. Dennis, Attorney....................................................17 The Village........................................................................................... 4 Urban Bliss.......................................................................................... 6 Whole Foods Market.................................................................39

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Options | December 2015

Medicaid Exclusions

for Transgender Rhode Islanders

Removed

On November 5, Rhode Island’s Executive Office of Health and Human Services (EOHHS) announced that the state’s Medicaid program has removed arbitrary and outdated coverage exclusions for transgender Rhode Islanders. Rhode Island is now the tenth jurisdiction to add this coverage, joining California, Maryland, Massachusetts, Oregon, Vermont, Connecticut, Washington, New York, and Washington D.C. Please join us in thanking Governor Raimondo and EOHHS Secretary Elizabeth Roberts for their support and leadership on this important issue.

The new guidance includes hormone therapy, behavioral health care, and surgical procedures for people age 18 and over. It also covers hormone treatment, puberty suppression medication (blockers), and behavioral health care for people aged 17 and under. Non-covered services include: reversal of previous gender affirmation surgery, facial feminization surgeries, fertility preservation, electrolysis, and surgical procedures for individuals under the age of 18.

This coverage goes a long way toward reducing barriers to life-saving affirming treatments for transgender people. We are thrilled with this advancement in access to affirmative care and recognize the widespread positive impact of this change. Transgender individuals face double the rates of unemployment and homelessness of the general population and therefore are more likely to qualify for Medicaid.

by Jaye Watts

guidance eliminating this discriminatory language so that all transgender Rhode Islanders are able to access affirmative, medically necessary, and life-saving treatment. Letters should be sent to OHIC.HealthInsInq@ohic.ri.gov. q TGI Network of Rhode Island is the only statewide organization providing support, advocacy, and education for the transgender, gender-variant, and intersex community (aka trans* community). Incorporated in 2011, our mission is to be a resource for TGI people navigating their lives and the medical and legal systems; to serve as a resource for professionals working with TGI people; and to serve as a liaison between the TGI and LGB communities and the community at large. Visit us at www.tginetwork.org.

While this is an exciting time, the work is not yet finished.

This policy does not address the very real need for some individuals under the age of 18 to access surgical procedures.

Progressive policies in both Oregon and Washington D.C. have added provisional coverage for minors with parental consent on a case-by-case basis. Rhode Island has missed a great opportunity to be on the leading edge of providing this medically necessary coverage.

This new policy also does not affect people who have employer-sponsored insurance plans, nor does it modify coverage available in Rhode Island’s health insurance exchange (HealthSource RI). In those plans, it is still legal to include discriminatory language to exclude coverage for transition-related medical care. Other states have removed this language with the rationale that the Affordable Care Act prohibits discrimination based on gender identity or expression in the provision of health care. In order to correct this injustice in Rhode Island, please join TGI Network in calling on the RI Health Insurance Commissioner to issue

Options | December 2015

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Calendar of Events World AIDS Day December 1

High Heels for Hope December 4

December Tue. 1 Graceful Journeys, AIDS Quilt RI’s World AIDS Day program, 7pm. Bristol Community College’s Commonwealth Center, 777 Elsbree Street, Fall River, MA. A 12’ by 9’ panel will be dedicated in memory of residents of the Hope House, the residence for people living with AIDS in Fall River from 1994 to 2012. Ed Milham, baritone, will sing. Free and open to the public.

Parking available in the lot behind the center.

Fri. 4 High Heels for Hope, 8pm doors/9pm show. Hope Events on Main, 1005 Main Street, Suite 1230, Pawtucket. Drag performances presented by Miss Gay Rhode Island USofA 2016 Kira Stone with hosts Kitty Litter and Payton St. James. Featuring an Options Magazine photo booth. $10 to benefit House of Hope. Visit www.houseofhopecdc.org for more info.

Fri. 4 Comic Mimi Gonzalez, 8pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. For more info, www.thevillageri.com.

Sat. 5 RI Women’s Association Dance, 7pm. Letter Carriers Hall, 174 Mayfield Street, Cranston. Potluck and BYOB, featuring DJ Sharon. Free to members/$10 non-members. For more info, www.riwa.net.

Sat. 5 Becky Chace Band, 8pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. For more info, www.thevillageri.com.

Sun. 13 Poppy and The Queer Queens of Qomedy , 7pm.

232 Wooster Street, New Haven, CT. Four lesbian comics present a fun night of LGBT comedy. For more information, www.jokerswildclub.com, www.poppychamplin.com, or (203) 773-0733.

Sun. 13 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Social, dinner, and networking group for older gay and bi men on second Sundays.

For more info, www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010.

Sun. 13 Toy Drive for Adoption Rhode Island, 8pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. Hosted by Jenny Talia.

Unwrapped toy, gift card, or cash donation suggested.

Wed. 16 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: Mislaid by Nell Zink.

Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com.

Thu. 17 Drag Bingo: Martha Stewart Craft Bingo, 7pm. The Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Ave, Cranston. $20 gets you into all games and benefits AIDS Care Ocean State. 18+.

Doors open at 6pm; Bingo starts at 7pm. For reservations, contact Chris Dalpe at 521-3603.

Wed. 9 RI Pride annual Holiday Party, 7pm. Pride Center, 1055 Westminster Street, Providence. All are welcome to potluck in a festive atmosphere. Donations of canned goods and nonperishable items accepted on behalf of the RI Community Food Bank.

Fri. 18 SAGE LGBT Café, noon-2pm. 1665 Broad Street, Cranston. A delicious, low-cost lunch in a gay-friendly setting sponsored by Meals on Wheels, the Department of Elderly Affairs, and SAGE-RI. Programming after lunch. $3 suggested donation for those 60 and better; $6 for all others. Reservations required: Call Paulina at 351-6700.

Wed. 9 Lesbian/Queer Women’s Book Club, 7:30pm. First Wednesdays at the Sarah Doyle Women’s Center, 26 Benevolent Street, Providence. For more information, www.facebook.com/ groups/provqueerwomensbooks.

Sun. 20 A Farewell to Kitty Litter,4-7pm.The Arcade Providence, 65 Weybosset Street, Providence. Cocktail party celebration to thank Stephen Hartley, aka Kitty Litter, for his dedication to the community. Purchase tickets at www.optionsri.org.

Thu. 10 Sweet Little Holiday Show, 8pm. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. A queer-produced potpourri of entertainment including comic Rich Hite, jazz singer Denise Moffat, and more. $5. Find Sweet Little Variety Show on Facebook.

January Sun. 3 Options Release Party, 3-6pm.The Stable, 125 Washington Street, Providence. Join Options Magazine for the release of the January issue. Volunteers needed for distribution.

Thu. 10–Sun. 13 It’s Time to Rejoice! Providence Gay Men’s Chorus celebrates its 20th Anniversary Season Holiday Concert.

Thu.–Sat. at 7pm, Sunday at 4pm. Beneficent Congregational Church, 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. For tickets visit www.provgmc.org

Sun. 3 2016 GALA Bowling season kickoff, 5:50pm. East Providence Lanes, 80 Newport Ave, Rumford. Bring friends to form a four-person team. For more information, email galabowling1990@gmail.com or find GALA Bowling on Facebook.

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Options | December 2015

Gay Men’s Chorus December 10-13

Adoption RI Toy Drive December 13

Wed. 6 Lesbian/Queer Women’s Book Club, 7:30pm.

First Wednesdays at the Sarah Doyle Women’s Center, 26 Benevolent Street, Providence. For more information, www. facebook.com/groups/provqueerwomensbooks.

Wed. 20 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: Mysteries of Pittsburgh

by Michael Chabon. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com.

Fri. 8 Comic Poppy Champlin, 8pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. For more info, www.thevillageri.com.

Regularly Scheduled Support Groups:

Sun. 10 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Social, dinner, and networking group for older gay and bi men on second Sundays. For more info, www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010.

Fri. 15 SAGE LGBT Café, noon-2pm. 1665 Broad Street, Cranston. A delicious, low-cost lunch in a gay-friendly setting sponsored by Meals on Wheels, the Department of Elderly Affairs, and SAGE-RI. Programming after lunch. $3 suggested donation for those 60 and better; $6 for all others. Reservations required: Call Paulina at 351-6700.

Options | December 2015

ACOS Tue. 4pm, (gay males): Wed. 1:30pm Alcoholics Anonymous (LGBT Group): Tue. 7pm PFLAG (parents, friends, allies): 1st & 3rd Wed. 6:45pm TGI Network (trans*): 1st & 3rd Tue. (7pm) & Sat. (1pm) TransFamily New England: 2nd Mon. 6:30pm YPI (youth): Way Out Thu. 4pm/Gender Spectrum Tue. 4pm See Resources on page 30 for more info.

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News Briefs

by Adam Brooks

Nadia Starr’s Food Drive to Benefit RI Community Food Bank Miss Gay Rhode Island 2014 Nadia Starr and Rhode Island Pride have organized a second annual food drive for the Rhode Island Community Food Bank. “In this day and age, hunger is unacceptable, yet thousands of Rhode Islanders are affected by it every day,” says Miss Starr.“It’s tough out there. Budgets are tight, food is expensive, and everyone needs to eat. We as a community should do what we can to help those who suffer from hunger.” The Food Bank services over 60,000 Rhode Islanders; thirty percent are children.

You can donate food at RI Pride’s Holiday party on December 9, or through December 27 at one of the collection boxes located at the Alley Cat, Stable, Mirabar, The Village, EGO, and The Eagle.

Much-needed items include peanut butter, whole wheat pasta, canned beans, canned fruit and veggies, tuna, tomato sauce, cereal, and granola bars.

Frontrunners Run Marathon Relay Race

Frontrunners Rhode Island, an LGBT running club, sent a team to the Cape Cod Marathon Relay Race in Falmouth on October 25. They came in 26th among 200 teams with a time of 3 hours and 22 minutes. To see photos and learn more about events, visit facebook.com/FrontrunnersRhodeIsland. (From left: Brian Mulligan, Scott Mirani, John Blakeslee,Tim Engels, and Daniel Gagnon.)

Cumberland School Board Drafting Policy for Transgender Students School Committee members in Cumberland, RI are developing a policy to accommodate students who identify as gendernonconforming or transgender. Rachel Santa, the Director of Special Education, created a draft based on current policies in Massachusetts schools.The proposed policy states that a student’s gender identity will be considered confidential and should not be discussed with anyone, including the student’s family, without permission from the student. The draft focuses on fostering an inclusive environment of mutual respect for both trans and cisgender students. Much of the policy is in regard to restroom and locker room etiquette, stating that a student should be allowed to use a facility that “corresponds to the student’s gender identity.” Students not comfortable with sharing their changing or restroom space with a transgender individual will be offered an alternative option and a counseling session may be offered in order to introduce an understanding of diversity. Santa noted that

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students may adapt more easily to the policy than their parents, and that could be the most difficult hurdle to overcome. Said Superintendent Bob Mitchell, “We want a policy that helps our students, educates our community, and ensures that it meets legal requirements. We’re hopeful that with the help of the greater Cumberland community, we can work through this sensitive issue together.” A student focus group is currently reviewing a draft of the policy in hopes of moving into the next phases and preparing it for Cumberland public schools.

Massachusetts Enacts Inclusion of LGBT Business Enterprises On November 3, Governor Charlie Baker’s executive order made Massachusetts the first state to include certified LGBT Business Enterprises in contracting and procurement opportunities. The policy will provide fair and equal access to business contracting opportunities and will directly impact an estimated 21,000 LGBT-owned businesses. Sam McClure, Senior Vice President at the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, and one of the creators of this new policy, told the press in a recent statement, “This is a huge win for LGBT-owned businesses that deserve equal opportunities to bid on contracts with the Commonwealth. We are reminded to harness the momentum of this victory to keep fighting for equal dignity and respect for all LGBT citizens as we advocate for similar intentional inclusion orders from coast to coast.”

Anti-Discrimination Bill Fails in Houston Houston, Texas voters rejected an anti-discrimination bill in November, making Houston the largest city in the United States to deny protections for LGBT people. The Houston Equal Rights Ordinance (HERO) passed last year with the support of the Human Rights Campaign and pro-equality allies, but was forced on the ballot this year by the Texas Supreme Court. Anti-LGBT groups campaigned against the bill for weeks before the election.

One group, called Campaign for Houston, spread misinformation to incite transphobia among voters so they would reject the bill. In an effort to combat Campaign for Houston and other right-wing anti-LGBT organizations, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) collaborated with Equality Texas, the NAACP, and other equal rights groups, to form Houston Unites. Houston Unites’ efforts to educate voters on what HERO would really allow fell short, and the ordinance did not pass. In a newsletter, the HRC told its supporters,“It’s almost unbelievable that this could happen in a city like Houston, but make no mistake: if we don’t double down today, we’ll face the same thing again and again in cities across the nation.”

New York State Expands Transgender Discrimination Protections In late October, NewYork became the first U.S. state to completely ban discrimination and harassment of transgender individuals by both public and private companies. Governor Andrew Cuomo issued an executive order to expand the state’s anti-discrimination law to include transgender people. In New York, it is illegal for employers, businesses, housing providers, creditors, and others

Options | December 2015

to discriminate against someone on the basis of their race, creed, disability, national origin, sexual orientation, military status, age, sex, marital or family status, and now, gender identity. “It is intolerable to allow discrimination of transgender individuals, and they are one of the most abused, harassed groups in society today,” said Governor Cuomo during a dinner hosted by the Empire State Pride Agenda gay rights group.

Congress Demands Fair Treatment of Same-Sex Couples by SSA The Social Security Administration (SSA) has been under fire for their incorrect treatment of same-sex couples due to a lack of preparedness.

After the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act in 2013, the SSA has been slow to update its procedures. Overpayments to Social Security recipients in samesex marriages were issued as though the recipients were single, and were then followed by fines for the overpayment. On October 26, 121 members of Congress lead by Senator Elizabeth Warren, sent a scathing letter to the SSA citing an incident where Hugh Held and Kelley Richardson-Wright, a same-sex couple from California, were told by the SSA that they were issued over $10,000 more than what they were entitled to, and that they would need to reimburse the agency for the mistake. The letter also closely examines an SSA

policy: “According to SSA’s statute and regulations, SSA shall avoid penalizing an individual for overpayment if the individual is without fault and if recovery of the overpayment would be against equity and good conscience.” The letter asks the SSA to provide a list of the individuals in same-sex marriages who have been charged with overpayment. The letter also asks what the agency has done to update its systems “so that SSA can correctly take marital status into account and administer benefits fairly to all individuals.”

Chile Celebrates Civil Unions Chile, which is regarded as one of the most socially conservative countries in Latin America, has gradually allowed equality measures into their legal system. Chile was one of the last countries in the world to legalize divorce and only decriminalized sexual relations between two people of the same gender in 1999. The civil union law, officially signed by President Michelle Bachelet in late January, came into effect on October 22, and celebrations of the unions rang out across the country. Couples have been arriving at civil registry offices in droves to legalize their unions, with many LGBT couples dressing in traditional Chilean garb or full tuxes and gowns. The civil unions grant same-sex couples some of the important rights that a married couple would receive, such as the ability to inherit property and pension benefits, and join one another’s health plans.

The new law has been welcomed by most citizens. President of the Gay Liberation and Integration Movement Rolando Jimenez told the press, “The civil union doesn’t end our struggle. We’re demanding same-sex marriage.We’re going to request for the measures stuck in Congress to be revived.” q

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by Jen Porcelli

Pets

and the LGBT Owners Who Love Them T

here are dozens of reasons why humans make the decision to welcome an animal into

their home. Owning a pet can have many positive impacts on our daily lives such as offering companionship, giving a sense of responsibility, helping to increase activity level, and providing us with unconditional love. Whether they have fur, scales, tails, or beaks, our pets become members of our families. According to a survey conducted by the ASPCA, 65 percent of households in the United States are pet owners, and 71 percent of LGBT adults own pets, compared to 63 percent of heterosexuals. It seems there has always been a bit of a stereotype regarding the LGBT community and pet ownership. Maybe you’ve even had comments directed toward you about “gays and their pets.” Although it may seem like a generalization to say that all people in the LGBTQ community are animal lovers, there is certainly some validity there. The question is why? I had the opportunity to interview several local LGBTQ pet owners about their four-legged family members and why they believe there may be a correlation.

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Tat ianna & Ruby

Tatianna Muniz spent most of her childhood growing up with dogs. When she moved from New York to Rhode Island for college, she had a difficult time adjusting to not having a pet but knew her schedule was simply not ideal for being a full-time pet owner. That is when she discovered fostering. “You got all of the love and the snuggles, without the full-time commitment, and then you got to see the animal you cared for finally get adopted and find a forever home.

It was incredibly rewarding.” While the experience was positive, it was also eyeopening for Tatianna and her girlfriend,

Alyssa, as they realized that there was a great need in Rhode Island for a better foster system. “Shelters in Rhode Island are filled with dogs that come from the South, but there are healthy dogs locally that are given up by their owners and are at risk of being euthanized simply due to shelters being over capacity.”

Thus their Rhode Island-based nonprofit organization, Abandoned Dogs of RI (www.abandoneddogsofri.com), was born in order to give more exposure to dogs that were abandoned and are in need of a home. Eventually, Tatianna did end up falling in love with one of her foster animals, a gorgeous chocolate Labrador mix named Ruby, who ultimately changed her life. When talking about the correlation between gay couples and animals, Tatianna mentioned that a large number of her volunteers and foster families are same-sex couples. “Whether you’re gay or straight, having children is expensive,” she laughs. “But in all reality, shelter dogs and people of the LGBTQ community can relate to one another.

Often these dogs are misunderstood or exhibit a different behavior in the kennel than they do when they find a loving family. It’s so important for them to feel loved and free, and I get that.”

Options | December 2015

Kev in & Goliath

children I never had. We do everything together and everything for them. I’d say they are a little spoiled,” Barbara says fondly. While Barbara has had a particularly difficult year with Lucas, who ruptured both of his ACL’s, she wouldn’t change a thing about being a pet owner.

Coming out as a lesbian later in life, she always felt a strong sense of connection and comfort with animals. “They accept everyone; there is no pretense with them. They don’t care who you love, as long as you love them.”

Ellen & Loki

Kevin and his partner adopted

Goliath in 2010 from the Providence Animal Rescue League. The cat is, as Kevin describes him, “a true gentlemen.”

An integral part of their family, Goliath has become like a child to the couple. So much in fact, that they decided to toilet train him. “Most people have a hard time believing that we have a cat smart enough to use the toilet,” says Kevin. “He likes his privacy, so we usually have to sneak up on him to take a picture.” This smart little cat has certainly made Kevin proud and grateful for the joy he brings to their lives. “He’s our special little boy.”

He most certainly is!

Barbara,

Lucas & Z oey

Barbara Erickson has been an animal lover ever since she can remember. Over the years, she has been the mom to all kinds of furry creatures including dogs, guinea pigs, and her beloved bird, Gracie.

She and her partner, Lynda, currently have their hands and their house full with border collie mix, Zoey, and an Anatolian shepherd mix, Lucas. Lucas came from a shelter all the way in Tennessee while Zoey was adopted here in Rhode Island at an adoption event. “They are the

Options | December 2015

Ellen Fitzharris adopted her cat, Loki, from the Humane Society in Woodbury, Minnesota while she was in college and really missing having a pet. Although she had planned on just looking, it was love at first sight. Loki loves to snuggle and even knows his name. “He will come reliably when I call him,” says Ellen. Loki has even learned to recognize the sound of Ellen’s ‘86 Volvo when he hears it approaching.

When I asked Ellen if she felt there was a reason why LGBTQ people tend to have pets, she felt one of the reasons could be due to a combination of the complexities of having children for gay couples as well as a generational trend. “More people are delaying having children until later in love. All that loving and caring has got to go somewhere, so why not to animals?”

George,

Hugh & Zee George Marley and husband Hugh Minor had always wanted a dog, but it wasn’t until they had a bigger home that they considered it. On Christmas Eve morning in 2014, Hugh sent George a picture of a beautiful pup named Zee, whom Hugh found on the Providence Animal Rescue League site. As George

described it, it was “love at first click.”

When the couple met Zee in person that very same day, they knew she was the one for them. “Zee was the greatest gift we could have ever gotten each other and we can’t imagine life, now, without her.” For George and Hugh, Zee is like their daughter. They treat her the way any parent would treat their child, including paying for daycare services, dressing her up for Halloween, and even throwing her a birthday party. The couple loves to spend their time cuddling with her at home, meeting new friends, and continuing to show one another unconditional love. “We obviously can’t make our own children and are not quite ready to adopt,” explains George. “Zee is the closest thing to a child that we have. I can imagine that many LGBTQ families experience similar connections and attachments to their pets.”

My St ory

In interviewing LGBTQ pet owners in Rhode Island, it was eye-opening for me to gain some perspective on why animals are so important, especially in our community. My wife, Ashley, and I, along with our three cats and our dog, Byrdie, make for a very “untraditional” little family. The thing that I’ve realized though, is that our animals give us a sense of purpose. They don’t bully you; they aren’t embarrassed because they have lesbian parents; that doesn’t matter to them. Animals are simply pure of heart.

In this world filled with so much hostility, anger, and judgment, being surrounded by that kind of unconditional love is a rare and beautiful thing. While our very spoiled animals may be lucky to have us, we are even luckier to have them. q Visit www.abandoneddogsofri.com, or the Providence Animal Rescue League at www.parl.org, to find pets awaiting homes.

13

Bi Visibility at the

White House

by Ellyn Ruthstrom

Bisexual Resource Center board members at the White House: Julia Canfield, Ellyn Ruthstrom, Heather Benjamin, Kate Estrop, Kevin Hogan.

Can you imagine the feeling of finally being seen when you have too often felt invisible? Having your oft-ignored identity acknowledged, validated, and even celebrated can be hugely empowering.

asylum in the U.S. Many bi asylum seekers are considered “not gay enough,” so their path to safety often requires them to detail their sexual and romantic life in a way not demanded of others.

As part of Bisexual Awareness Week, the White House held a bisexual community policy briefing on September 21. About 100 activists had gathered there from across the country. I was honored to lead an “unveiling of the bisexuals” by simply asking all of those who identified as bisexual, or another non-monosexual identity, to stand and look around the room in appreciation of the beautiful and diverse community that we are. It was the first time that many of those present had been in a space with that many out and proud bi people, and the moment grounded us for the session ahead that would encompass some very weighty topics. The fact that we were all standing in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, where so many historic events have taken place, only heightened that feeling of truly being seen by one another and by our government.

Working within breakout sessions, participants were able to brainstorm action steps and policy recommendations to better support bi youth in schools, improve ways to address intimate partner violence (which is extremely high for bi individuals), and to generally find ways to be more bi-inclusive when creating federal policies.

Panels consisted of a mix of bi community leaders and administration officials. Attendees were briefed on a range of topics including health, housing, immigration, employment, violence, and education. Speakers described bi-specific workplace harassment and how that related to both a higher incidence of being closeted and higher economic insecurity for bi people. Apphia Kumar, a long-time bi activist from India, movingly described her coming out story and the biphobia she experienced in her battle to apply for

current work. Loraine Hutchins, co-editor of the 1991 anthology Bi Any Other Name, and ABilly Jones-Hennin, who’s been organizing since the 1970s, attended and were recognized. Many others who were unable to attend were acknowledged for their contributions as well. It was especially inspiring to be in a meeting with activists spanning five decades of organizing for social justice.

14

A highlight of the event was to honor the bi elders who paved the way for our

Policy briefing attendees gather outside the White House, September 21, 2015.

As co-organizer of the first Bisexual Issues Roundtable held at the White

House in 2013, I remember choking up as I locked eyes with the other activists who were proud to be at that trailblazing meeting.We now head into the last year of Obama’s administration, and the president has graced the cover of OUT Magazine as “Ally of the Year” for spearheading many notable achievements for the LGBT community, especially the transgender community. The two bi-specific White House meetings in 2013 and 2015 are not listed within those achievements, but to the bi community, they mark hardfought visibility at a level we have never experienced before.

This half-day meeting with the Obama administration was a watershed moment for the bi community, and our work continues behind the scenes as we nurture the relationships established at that meeting. Bi organizations and individuals will continue to educate both the LGBT community and policy-level experts on bi-specific issues and how a bi identity intersects with race, gender identity, disability, or age to create unique challenges.

The power of visibility and the strength and resilience of a bold and beautiful community will be my lasting memory from September’s White House meeting—standing up and standing together. q

Ellyn Ruthstrom is the former president and current treasurer of the Boston-based Bisexual Resource Center, the oldest national bisexual organization in the U.S. She is also the Executive Director of SpeakOUT Boston, an LGBTQIA speakers bureau serving New England.

Options | December 2015

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The grande dame of drag and self-proclaimed First Lady of Providence is relocating to North Carolina, ending decades of service and dedication to our community.

Join us for a night of celebration as we thank Kitty for the work she has done to strengthen our community.

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Options | December 2015

15

Beyond

Marriage Equality

On October 30, the Roger Williams University School of Law presented an afternoon symposium entitled Beyond Marriage Equality, addressing the legal concerns for Rhode Island’s LGBT community. On June 26 of this year, the Supreme Court of the United States made history with the Obergefell v. Hodges decision, which legalized marriage equality nationwide. Unfortunately for members of the LGBT community, many vital issues beyond marriage involving family law, domestic violence, transgender rights, and federal protections are still obscured by a set of confusing laws.

Many of the unsettled issues for same-sex couples, post-Obergefell, fall in the area of family law. Charles Greenwood, Esq. and his partner Susan Fink, Esq. addressed many of these still troubling

16

areas of law, including surrogacy contracts, second-parent adoptions, and other issues involving raising children together.

Domestic violence between samesex partners is rarely spoken about within the LGBT community. Roger Williams University Law Professor Emily Sack reviewed the many reasons for this silence, including distrust of authorities, lack of knowledge about helpful services, and the lack of consistency in applying laws that prevent domestic violence.

The symposium welcomed Jennifer Levi, Esq., of Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD), as their Transgender Rights Project Director, who offered two sessions relating to transgender legal issues.

The first session provided participants with an overview of where the various

by Patrick Smock, Esq. state laws are on these issues. The second session involved the nuts and bolts of what to do when you have a transgender client who needs your help with specific issues such as name changes, changes to stateissued documents like birth certificates, or allegations of discrimination.

To end the day, Congressman David Cicilline (D-RI) delivered a keynote address and answered questions from participants.

He discussed in particular the Equality Act, which he introduced in Congress this year. If passed, the Equality Act would add sexual orientation and gender identity to the Civil Rights Act of 1964.While speaking on the state of affairs for LGBT issues at the federal level, Cicilline remarked that fewer than half the states currently offer full employment and housing protections to LGBT citizens. q

Options | December 2015

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Options | December 2015

NEWS FROM

by Kim Stowell

Why

SAGE

Matters In today’s American culture, all adults face the possibility of isolation as they age. They may become isolated from their broader communities when they retire from work, for example, or when friends or partners die. This can mean smaller support networks as well as feelings of loneliness and depression. At its worst, an estranged life can cause a deterioration of one’s physical and mental health.

Social isolation affects LGBT older adults disproportionately. One of the primary risk factors is living alone, and LGBT older people are twice as likely to live alone as their non-LGBT counterparts.

They are twice as likely to be single, three to four times less likely to have children, and many are estranged from their biological families.

national study, 43% of LGBT older adults reported mistreatment in long-term care facilities. (See www.lgbtlongtermcare.org.) As a result, many elders in our community need our help. For others, the simple recognition of their dignity and their right to be treated equally is a gift they are grateful for.

SAGE RI serves the LGBT community by offering opportunities for our elders to enjoy connecting with others. SAGE offers education and training to providers of elder health care, helping them to understand the best way to serve their LGBT patients. In short, SAGE works to achieve a high quality of life for LGBT older adults. To join SAGE as a member or to make a donation, please visit www.sageri.org or call 443-4451. Remember, these are the folks who paved the way for the rest of us, and now they need our help.

With your assistance, SAGE can continue to lead the way in addressing the needs of Rhode Island’s LGBT elders.q

Many elders in our community need our help.

The research also shows that LGBT elders face higher disability rates and struggle with economic insecurity and outright poverty. In addition, many LGBT elders deal with the psychological effects that come from a lifetime of discrimination. The hard-won victories of the last several years— from the downfall of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in the military to the victory in marriage equality—may not be enough to undo the scars of growing up under the specter of all-out condemnation.

Many mainstream providers of health care to elders do not recognize the unique realities and needs of older LGBT adults, leaving them at risk for neglect and discrimination. In a recent

Options Options || December December 2015 2015

SAGE-RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders) addresses issues of concern to LGBT elders and is an organization of diverse people of all ages. For information on programs or to join SAGE-RI, drop us a line at sageriinfo@gmail.com; call us at (401) 443-4451; write to us at SAGE-RI at CareLink, 1 Virginia Avenue, Providence, RI 02905; or find us on the web at www.sage-ri.org, and on Facebook as SAGE/Rhode Island.

19 19

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Options | December 2015

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Options | December 2015

Introducing the

(Hilary Knight. Photo courtesy of NWHL)

National Women’s Hockey league

by Kelly Scafariello

I was raised in a family where sports was like religion. At least one sporting event was on television each day through our yearly cycle. During the summer, we watched major league baseball. When fall settled in, the programming juggled between post-season baseball and the start of football Sundays. Winter did not disappoint in our house, as basketball and ice hockey games dominated the airwaves. Finally, in spring, baseball was ready to start back up again.

As I reflect back on those days growing up, all the games I watched featured only male athletes, with the exception of occasional women’s tennis matches or Olympic events. Today, we have become more open to the possibility of women athletes competing on the professional level, and there is life beyond college athletics for elite female athletes.

Currently, the most followed professional women’s league is the Women’s National Basketball Association. We’ve seen a recent resurgence of women’s soccer, thanks to the USA’s World Cup win this summer, when Carli Lloyd and Abby Wambach became household names to many. However, there is a new women’s professional sports league in town that’s looking to rise in the ranks.

Options | December 2015

In March 2015, former Northeastern University’s women’s collegiate hockey player Dani Rylan announced the launch of the National Women’s Hockey League (NWHL). The NWHL was founded on the premise that top-level female collegiate hockey players can go pro, just like their male counterparts. In a Bloomberg interview in September, Rylan, who is also the league’s commissioner, said, “Whatever the men’s professional league has, we have in our league as well.” Rylan is looking to create a product that mirrors the National Hockey League (NHL), including spending caps on salaries and trades. Uniforms and equipment will be paid for and players earn salaries between $10,000 and $22,000. Privately funded in its first year, the league is seeking investors.

The NWHL currently has four teams in market areas that are pro-sports and pro-hockey. The Boston Pride play at Bright-Landry Hockey Center at Harvard; the Buffalo Beauts play at HarborCenter Arena; the Connecticut Whale play at Chelsea Piers in Stamford, and the New York Riveters play at the Aviator Sports & Events Center in Brooklyn. There are over 80 women competing in an 18game season that kicked off in October

and ends in March when the league will present the the Isobel Cup to the first season champion.The NHL’s Stanley Cup was named for Lord Stanley, an early supporter of ice hockey; so the NWHL’s cup was named for his daughter, one of the first women to play ice hockey.

In various interviews, Rylan has expressed how passionate and supportive the fan base has been for the league. Even NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman issued a statement of support, saying, “The National Hockey League supports the growth of women’s hockey at all levels. We wish the NWHL well as it presents the women’s game to a larger audience, provides outstanding female athletes an additional opportunity to compete at the professional level, and inspires girls and women to strive for hockey excellence.”

If you are interested in showing your support for the NWHL or simply love the game of ice hockey, get out and check out a game. Single ticket prices range from $15-20 and season tickets range from $125-$150. To learn more about the league, find upcoming games, or to become a part of the NWHL Insider’s Club, visit www.nwhl.co.q

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Options | December 2015

RI PR I D E

Rhode Island Pride held its Annual Meeting and Election on Wednesday, October 28. The members present unanimously confirmed all individuals on the proposed election slate. Kurt Bagley was re-elected to a two-year term as president.William Tregaskis was re-elected and now takes on the treasurer position.

Director Rich Hite was also re-elected and is joined by new directors Stephen Alexander, Davide Gnoato, and Julia Carr. Adam Good, Tammy Pita, and James Todd continue their current terms as vice president, secretary, and director, respectively. The board of directors typically meets every second Wednesday at 7pm. Meetings may be observed by anyone who is interested in attending.

by Kurt Bagley

Speaking of the season, please consider a taxdeductible gift to Rhode Island Pride as part of your annual giving. Our organization exists solely on the volunteer efforts of community members who give generously of their time. Every dollar donated from the community supports the overhead costs that allow our volunteers to do the great work that they do. Unable to make a donation? Join us and lend your talents; Rhode Island Pride exists because it is ALL of us! View our annual appeal, make a donation, or sign up to volunteer at www.prideri.com. q

Rhode Island Pride is a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to promoting the visibility, equality, and diversity of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender The annual Pride Holiday Party will be held on community, and provides safe space to come out, Wednesday, December 9 at 7pm. Join us in our express, and celebrate all sexual identities and genders. new space—1055 Westminster Street, Providence, For more information, email info@prideri.com; call (401) second floor— and help us celebrate the season. 467-2130; or join us for a gathering in our office at We suggest bringing a non-perishable food item for 1055 Westminster Street, floor 2, in Providence.

Nadia Starr’s second annual Holiday Food Drive.

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Options | December 2015

25

Tony Caparco, Bruno, John, Frank Ferri

John Morse:

“Life Is Good”

by Bradford Greer

John Morse greeted me at the door on crutches. He eased into a comfortable chair and explained that he tore his meniscus in three places and had to have surgery because he still plays softball as if he’s 20. The good-natured athlete volunteers as the Assistant Commissioner of the Renaissance City Softball League, a local LGBTbased league, plays for the Town Hall Lanes team, and coaches the Rebels. John is an active Aries who rises at 6am and religiously works out five days a week in order to keep his shape in shape. That’s not his only impetus. “That’s my time,” he says. “It’s an important part of my life because it keeps my head clear. You have to find time for yourself.”

“I have always been into organized sports because when you are, it’s like being in a family. Like when I joined the chorus [Providence Gay Man’s Chorus]. If there was trouble or someone needed something, you helped each other out.

Same thing with softball. If you’re on a team, your team becomes one and there’s that camaraderie.You make friends for a lifetime. Plus it’s a great time.” John was a precocious child, not very good at playing by the rules.The discipline of organized sports has served him well in life.

Town Hall Lanes softball team

The Renaissance City Softball League is one of the fastest growing softball organizations in the country. According to Commissioner Phil

26

Lagoy, they started with three to four teams 18 years ago. Now they are larger than leagues in some of the bigger cities like Kansas City or Tulsa, thanks to long-time sponsors like Frank Ferri of Town Hall Lanes. John helped computerize their finances, which increased their operating capital and revenue.They have a reputation in Rhode Island as one of the best-organized leagues, straight or gay.

John said, “The Gay World Series started back in the 1960s and they couldn’t get fields to play on or umpires, but they pushed through. Because of them—these people in their 80s and 90s that I see in the Hall of Fame—I am grateful. What they did made my life easier. How can you not thank these people? They got beat up, cursed at, spit on, some of them killed even. We still have to watch out for each other.” When he was in his early 20s, John came across two thugs beating up a couple of effeminate guys and interfered.

When they asked why he cared about these two “faggots” he said, “I’m a faggot and I’m gonna kick your ass.”

After his morning workout, John spends the day managing his properties, perhaps meeting with carpenters and plumbers or securing permits. In addition to his rental properties, John purchases old houses, then repairs, refurbishes, and resells them for a profit.

John is a very savvy businessman and his acumen has served him well.

He doesn’t believe in credit cards and does not carry a mortgage on his home.

John derived his work ethic from his family. He’s a direct descendant of John and Priscilla Alden who sailed from England on the Mayflower and whose home is a national landmark in Duxbury, MA. In the 1800s the firm of Morse and Nightingale made their fortune in Putnam, CT, where they were known for the advancement of cotton mills and for the care of their employees.Their fortune was

Options | December 2015

Twenty years ago when people were visibly dying of AIDS and having difficulty finding a place to live, John opened some of his apartments to 18 patients who could rely on his courage and discretion. “What amazed me was there could be so much prejudice that people would not let them have an apartment because they thought they had HIV.” While he appreciates the advancement of PrEP, John is concerned that it encourages people to take HIV transmission less seriously and they might not follow its strict regimen. John has always been aware of safer sex guidelines and has been tested routinely.“Miss Kitty [has] done so much for people with HIV. I don’t know what’s gonna happen now that he’s moved on.

And it makes you wonder who is gonna take the next step. No one remembers what AIDS was like before. What confuses me is these kids who don’t even think they can get it.”

Ancestors of John Morse

lost in the crash of 1929, and their mansion is now a home for retired nuns. John’s father, an English, Scottish, and French policeman, and his mother, a Lebanese homemaker, brought John and his brother up in Hyde Park, a suburb of Boston.They owned two three-family homes, and at 12 years old, John could make home repairs after watching a professional. Even better: he enjoyed it.

Twelve was also the year John had his first sexual experience. He was at Boy Scout camp and convinced his parents to let him stay an extra week to continue his scouting. Although he knew he was gay at age 6, John expanded his sexual education throughout high school and college to include girls. He told his father he was gay when he was 18 and his response was: “John, don’t live a lie.” As a cop, John’s dad had seen too many kids who lived on the street or killed themselves because they were gay. “If that’s who you are, that’s who you are. Just don’t tell your mother.” John didn’t tell his mother until he was 26.

None of his football or baseball friends had any trouble accepting his sexuality. That was in the late 80s and early 90s when it was becoming more socially acceptable to be gay. He came out in college with the attitude, “This is who I am. If you don’t like it, fuck you. If you’re gonna judge me for being gay, then judge me. I’m fine with that.”

After earning degrees in business and economics at Framingham State College and Boston University, he worked as a stockbroker for a year. He hated the backstabbing competition. “After being the good child and doing what was expected of me, I apparently lost my mind and moved to Provincetown to become a bartender at The Boatslip.” That unexpected move helped the handsome 24year-old build a nest egg that would become the foundation of his financial success. In 1990 he bought a liquor store.That was followed by a video store, followed by his first four-family house and a twofamily dwelling. Then he sold them all and used the capital to begin building his current ownership of 80 units. John purchased his home in Woonsocket about five years ago and sank a boatload of money into remodeling it. “It’s all about seeing what’s there and recognizing the potential.” He works hard and gives back by donating thousands to charities every year.

Options | December 2015

The gay experience has changed so much in his lifetime. John points to Will and Grace, the sitcom that premiered in 1998 and featured two gay men among its four main characters. “Gay people were kissing on TV. Suddenly it became chic to have a gay friend because people thought it was all like Will and Grace. They thought we were all witty and intelligent and would redecorate your apartment and tell you what to wear and what to do with your hair.That’s why I have never been a good gay.”

Ray Sirico met John in 1992, and through years of nightclubbing, Sunday dinners, and chorus concerts, they have become best friends. “We’ve always been honest with each other,” says Ray. “He has the biggest heart of anyone I know and he’s the first one there if you are in need. With any luck we’ll be sitting side by side in rockers at the old folks’ home. To quote Clairee in Steel Magnolias, one of John’s favorite movies, ‘I love ya more than my luggage.’ I can’t imagine my life without him.”

BB Hayes and John

John and Ray

“I’ve got loving friends” John says.

“Most of my friends have been friends for ten, twenty, thirty years.”

John, a hardworking, world-traveling, art-collecting, self-proclaimed “food whore,” first met Bruno Goncalves online at a time when he was not ready for a relationship. Four years later he bumped into the handsome Brazilian in a bar. Bruno, who is 15 years his junior, speaks English, Spanish, and Italian and reads lips due to a partial hearing loss. They started talking and they have been creating a life together ever since. Bruno fell in love with John’s kindness, his consideration for others, his confidence, and his ability to make everyone feel comfortable. “When you introduce someone you love to all the people you love in your life and they accept him, it makes you feel whole. [John] treats everyone like he knows them, whether they are a homeless person on the street or the Mayor of Providence.”

“I love my life,” muses John. “It has its ups and downs but I’ve had a great life. If I die tomorrow, my life is good.” q

27

don’t grow up invisible

Youth Pride Inc.

by Jeana DeLaire

Youth Pride Inc. hosts a diverse set of important programs and events throughout the year in our work to meet the ongoing needs of LGBTQQ youth. The GayStraight Alliance (GSA) Coalition is one of our longeststanding programs, providing support to upwards of 40 groups statewide.While some school alliances function as a peer support system for LGBTQQ students experiencing difficulty gaining acceptance at home and in school, other clubs serve as a social outlet where students interested in GSA organizing can come together to enjoy fun activities or take action to create positive changes in schools. Last month the Coalition hosted its annual conference, inviting all young people involved in GSA work to attend.

The GSA Conference began years ago as a way to organize around the Day of Silence, a national day to protest the silencing of the LGBTQQ community. While the Day of Silence continues each April with thousands of schools participating nationwide, the conference has seen some changes in recent years. It is now held each fall as a way to support the growing number of new alliances.

While the focus is still on student rights and organizing, topics like creative writing and safer sex tips were also represented this year. The workshop facilitators hailed from various backgrounds and fields of expertise. We are especially thankful to have such powerful partner organizations involved this year, including GLAD, RI Pride, and more.

If you are a youth between the ages of 13 and 23 and feel you missed out, fear not! There are many exciting opportunities to get involved in our upcoming events and programs. The GSA Meet-Ups serve as a community alliance uniting students and other young people interested in GSA organizing every first and third Wednesday at 4pm at Youth Pride. Holiday parties, movie nights, and various Friday night activities are also on the horizon this December. Visit our space or website to find out more information on services offered to Gay-Straight Alliances and discover details about our upcoming events.q

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Options | December 2015

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The first thing that’s waiting for members of the LGBT community at Elmhurst Extended care is a warm welcome.

And the second thing that’s waiting for you is the realization that Elmhurst is a very different kind of elder care provider.

You see, we are an “elder-centered community,” one with a strong focus on individual choice, meaningful interactions, and a life worth living. One of the defining characteristics of Elmhurst is our designation as an Eden Alternative home. This innovative philosophy of elder care emphasizes quality of life and choice provided in a uniquely individualized, comfortable and comforting home environment. And, at Elmhurst we do not have patient floors; rather, we have created distinct neighborhoods, each with a purpose and personality.

What We Promise You or Your Loved One • A community, where life is meaningful, where compassion, affection, and respect are abundant, and where caregiving comes from the heart.

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• A true “home”, where every individual is valued, where you can engage in living each day, and where we feel privileged to share in your life.

• An abiding commitment to treat you as a member of our family.

Elmhurst is the only elder care community in Rhode Island affiliated with two hospitals – Roger Williams Medical Center and Fatima Hospital – and the state’s most comprehensive system of health care – CharterCARE Health Partners.

Our elders take comfort in knowing they have easy access to a broad range of elder care professionals that include physicians, nurses, nurse practitioners, therapists and psychologists.

We also offer our Transitional Care Pavilion, specifically designed for people who no longer require inpatient hospital care but are not ready to return to living at home. Here, a team of physicians, nurses and rehabilitation specialists work together to restore the skills and strength you need to return home. Hundreds of people come to us for care, and when they feel ready, return to their homes.

Finally, we are proud to have been accredited and/or recognized by a host of organizations, including the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Providers and the Alliance for Better Long-Term Care.

For more information, please visit us at elmhurstextendedcare.org or telephone 401- 456-2600 50 Maude Street, Providence, Rhode Island 02908

Resources Options originated in 1982 as the offical newsletter of the Rhode Island Gay Task Force. Editor Jos Fayette explained, “The RIGTF wants to make the homosexual community aware of their options as gay men and women in Rhode Island. And it’s only because we live, work, love, and play in this state that there are such a large number of options available to all of us.” Options has always, and will continue to print LGBTQ resources so that you can, as Fayette went on to say, “Exercise your OPTIONS today to make positive changes in your life tomorrow.”

Help us help you! Email info@optionsri.org if you come across a resource listing that needs updating. Phone numbers are in the 401 area code and addresses are in Rhode Island, unless otherwise indicated.

Addiction Support Groups AA Brothers in Sobriety: Saturday 7:30pm. 372 Wayland Avenue, Providence. 751-9328.

Alcohol/Drug Helpline: RI Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence. 24hr. (866) 252-3784.

RI LGBT AA Group: Tuesdays 7-8pm. The Wellness Company,132A George M Cohan Blvd., Providence. All are welcome.

Seven Hills Behavioral Health: Addiction support services

and Narcan. 1173 Acushnet Avenue, New Bedford, MA, 508999-4159. 310 S. Main Street, Fall River, MA, 508-235-1012.

Leonard Amaral, Program Manager, lamaral@sevenhills.org.

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: 12-step program. Fridays at 7pm. Providence Presbyterian Church, 500 Hope Street, Providence, side entrance, downstairs to the left. Gay, but all are welcome.

AIDS/Health Resources AFIA Center for Health & Wholeness: Meals, food pantry, HIV support groups, recovery groups, recreational and social activities.

Sponsored by AIDS Project RI. Free to clients. Wednesday and Thursday 12-3pm. Mathewson Street Church, 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. Contact Gordon Cooper, 331-1350 ext.

3268. info@uwri.org. www.familyserviceri.org.

AIDS Action Hotline: MA only. (800) 235-2331. www.aac.org.

AIDS Care Ocean State: Confidential HIV & Hep C testing, safer-sex supplies, case management, emergency funds, clinical services, assisted and supportive housing for people living with HIV/AIDS, street outreach, ENCORE, HIV+ support groups.

Speaker’s Bureau, 18 Parkis Ave., Providence. 521-3603 (call 781-0665 to schedule an appointment). www.aidscareos.org.

AIDS Project RI: Division of Family Service of RI. Case management, buddies, COBRA and dental services, emergency fund, mental health counseling, nutrition support, assessment and referral, wellness programs, advocacy, strength training, prevention education, HIV testing. 9 Pleasant Street, Providence.

831-5522 www.aidsprojectri.org.

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AIDS Quilt RI: Displays local AIDS memorial quilt panels, panel-making programs including Anna’s Workshop, HIV/AIDS education for young people. PO Box 2591, Newport. 434-4880. admin@aidsquiltri.org. www.aidsquiltri.org.

Brown University AIDS Program: Clinical trials, public policy, research, lectures, conferences, patient and community education.

121 South Main Street, Second Floor, Providence. 863-6790. brunap@brown.edu. brown.edu/Departments/BRUNAP. Community Care Alliance: Case management, support, personal care items for people living with HIV/AIDS in northern Rhode Island.

245 Main Street, Woonsocket. 235-6092. lcohen@famresri.org.

Comprehensive Community Action Programs: Medical, mental health, dental, social services, LGBT outreach. 311 Doric Avenue, Cranston. Also Coventry, Pawtucket, and Warwick. 467-9610.

Gabriel Care, LLC: Nursing/social worker case management and financial compensation for assistance and supervision for those living with HIV. MassHealth funded for MA residents. 376 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. Contact Jenn, (508) 678-1002.

Options | December 2015

HIV Antibody Testing: Anonymous.Free or sliding scale.RI Department of Health. Providence, Newport and other locations. 222-2320.

Home and Hospice Care of RI: Medical care management for HIV/AIDS. 24hr nursing staff for treatment. 1085 North Main Street, Providence. Referrals: 782-0725. Bereavement groups: Contact John Charette, 727-7079. Main Office: 415-4200 or toll-free 800-338-6555. www.hhcri.org.

House of Compassion: HIV/AIDS housing. 2510 Mendon Road, Cumberland. 658-3992.

LGBT Caregiver Online Support Group: For LGBTs caring for someone with chronic health problems. www.caregiver.org Luis E. Martinez House CHS, Inc.: Supportive, permanent housing for 10 adults living with HIV/AIDS and/or substance abuse. New Bedford, MA. Contact Joe Taylor. (508) 984-7514.

Partners in Learning About AIDS: Outreach to minorities, women of color, and LGBT community at clubs and other locations. North Providence office provides free condoms and information about STIs and post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV. 1006 Charles Street, Suite 5, North Providence. 484-7523. info@plaidsproject.org. www.plaidsproject.org.

Planned Parenthood of So. New England: Confidential, lowcost, same-day & walk-in STD and HIV testing. Commonsense approach to health. 111 Point St., Providence. 800-230-7526. www.ppsne.org.

Project Weber: Services for male sex workers. Drop-in center, support groups, HIV and Hep C testing, clean needles.

383-4888. www.projectweber.org.

Seven Hills HIV Prevention & Screening: TWIST program, HIV and STI prevention and testing,partner care.1173AcushnetAvenue, New Bedford, MA, 508-999-4159. 310 S. Main Street, Fall River, MA, 508-235-1012. Contact Leonard Amaral, lamaral@sevenhills.org.

SSTAR (Stanley Street Treatment & Resources): Counseling, drug treatment, detox, domestic violence programs, free and confidential HIV, HEP C, and STD testing, education, case management and support. MA and RI locations. 386 Stanley Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 679-5222. Project Aware (HIV/HCV); (508) 324-3561. Family Healthcare Center; (508) 675-1054. www.sstar.org.

Steppingstone, Inc.: Welcome Home Medical case management program. One-on-one peer support in Somerset to Wareham area. HIV support groups available. Free and open to any HIV+ person 18+. 5 Dover Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 984-7514. www.steppingstoneinc.org.

Tranquil Mind & Wellness: Counseling, alternative healing, yoga, Pilates, meditation.109 Rhode Island Road, Lakeville, MA. (508) 947-1683. www.tranquilmind.net.

Thundermist Health Center: Provides HIV/AIDS services including medical care and treatment by an HIV specialist, dental care, behavioral health counseling, nutritional assessment and counseling, pharmacy consultation, free and confidential HIV testing. 450 Clinton Street, Woonsocket. Contact Philip Kane.

767-4100 ext. 3516.

Information/Education

The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health: Education, pleasure, health, advocacy. Tues. -- Sat. 12 -- 6 and by appointment. 250 Main Street, Unit 1, Pawtucket. 489-5513. www.thecsph.org.

Fenway Community Center LGBT Helpline: Support, information and referrals. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston. Open daily 6-11pm. (617) 267-9001 or 888-340-452 GLBT National Help Center Hotline: Local resources

Options | December 2015

nationwide provided by social services agency. 888-843-4564. www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org.

Newport Out: LGBT website for Newport. www.newportout.com.

RILGBT-News: Low-volume email distribution list for LGBT & AIDS news from RI. Not a discussion list. To subscribe: tinawood@cox.net.

United Way of RI Referral Line: 2-1-1 on your telephone.

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Nightlife The Alley Cat Providence: Downtown neighborhood bar.

Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday 3pm-2am, Saturday 2pm2am, Sunday 2pm-1am. 19 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369.

Bobby’s Place: Dancing, pool, video lounge, karaoke. SundayWednesday 5pm-1am, Thursday-Saturday 5pm-2am. 62 Weir Street,Taunton, MA. (508) 824-9997. www.bobbysplacema.com.

Brooklyn Coffee Tea House: 209 Douglas Ave., Providence: public/private venue for music, art, film screenings, weddings, showers, etc. RHODYWOOD@yahoo.com; 359-0192.

Club Body Center: Gay men’s sauna. Membership required.

One-day pass available. Open 24hr. 257 Weybosset Street, Providence. 274-0298. www.cbcresorts.com.

The Dark Lady: Downtown bar and nightclub. TuesdayThursday 9pm-1am, Friday & Saturday 9pm-3am, Sunday 9pm1am. 17 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369.

EGO: Providence’s newest gay nightlife performance/event space.

Sunday and Thursday 9pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 10pm-3am, 73 Richmond St, Providence. 383-1208. www.egopvd.com.

Indigo Lounge: 599 Tiogue Ave, Coventry RI 02816. Breakfast buffet, specialty pizzas, T Dances, live entertainment, karaoke Thurs. Hours vary, closed Mon. www.indigopizza.com.

Mirabar: Downtown bar and nightclub. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 3pm-2am, Sunday 3pm-1am.

15 Elbow Street, Providence. 331-6761. www.mirabar.com.

Providence Eagle: Leather, Levi, bear cruise bar. MondayThursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday-Sunday 12pm2am. 124 Snow Street, Providence. 421-1447.

The Stable: Downtown video bar. No cover. Monday-Thursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday 12pm-2am, Sunday 12pm1am. 125 Washington Street, Providence. 272-6950.

The Village: Downtown Providence’s newest LGBT owned and operated restaurant and live entertainment venue.

Lunch & dinner Wednesday through Sunday for varying hours.

373 Richmond St. 228-7222, www.thevillageri.com

Political & Legal Groups American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): 128 Dorrance Street, Suite 220, Providence. 831-7171. riaclu.org.

Amnesty International OUTfront: Program to campaign globally for LGBTQ human rights. (212) 807-8400. Cvohs18904@yahoo.com. www.amnestyusa.org.

Brown University Queer Alliance: Student advocacy and support organization. queer@brown.edu.

Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD): LGBT/ HIV legal info hotline. Weekdays 1:30-4:30pm. 30 Winter Street, Suite 800, Boston, MA. (617) 436-1350 or (800) 455-GLAD. gladlaw@glad.org www.GLAD.org.

Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund: 120 Wall Street, Suite 1500, NY. (212) 809-8585. www.lambdalegal.org.

Lawyers for Equality and Diversity (LEAD): Advocates for LGBT causes. lawyersforequality@gmail.com.

National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Assoc./New England: Works for fair and accurate media coverage of LGBT issues. info@nlgja.org, www.nlgja.org.

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The Next Thing (TNT): Political and support group for queer people of color located at Brown University. 863-3062. tnt@brown.edu.

RI Commission on Prejudice and Bias: Hate crime awareness training program. www.hatecrimeri.org.

RI Socialist Action: 952-5385, adgagneri@gmail.com. Spanish: 351-3514, walsil@cox.net.

RI Human Rights Commission: Anti-discrimination law enforcement agency with jurisdiction in employment, housing, public accommodations, and credit. 180 Westminster Street, 3rd floor, Providence. 222-2662 TTY: 222-2664, richr.ri.gov.

Scouts for Equality: An organization composed largely of Boy Scouts of America alumni dedicated to ending the BSA’s ban on gay members and leaders. Contact Carol Crowther. ccrowther1@gmail.com. Facebook.com/riscoutsforequality.

Servicemembers Legal Defense Network: Serving LGBT military personnel and veterans. PO Box 65301, Washington DC. (202) 328-3244. or (800) 538-7418. sldn@sldn.org. www.sldn.org.

Options | December 2015

Religious & Spiritual All Saints Memorial Church: 674Westminster Street, Providence.

751-1747. asmcri@verizon.net. www.allsaintsmemorial.org.

Amicable Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming.

Pastor William Sterrett. Sunday 10am. 3736 Main Road, Tiverton.

624-4611. amicablechurch@aol.com, www.amicablechurch.org.

Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists: robin@awab.org, www.awab.org.

Barrington Congregational Church: UCC. “The white church.” Sundays 10am. 461 County Road, Barrington. 246-0111. office@bccucc.org, www.bccucc.org.

Bell Street Chapel: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Rev. Margaret Weis. Sundays 10am. 5 Bell Street, Providence. 273-5678. www.bellstreetchapel.org.

Beneficent Congregational Church: UCC. An Open & Affirming congregation in the heart of Providence. Co-Pastors Todd & Nicole Yonkman. Sundays 10am. 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. 331-9844. BeneficentChurchUCC@gmail.com, www.beneficentchurch.org.

Berean Baptist Church: A safe and welcoming place for all God’s children. Sunday 10am. 474 Chapel Street, Harrisville. 568-5411. bereanbaptist@verizon.net. www.bereanri.org.

Calvary United Methodist Church of Middletown: LGBTQ early dementia support group. Contact Amy. Sundays 10:30am. 200 Turner Road, Middletown. 847-6181, www.middletownmethodist.com.

Central Congregational Church: UCC.An Opening & Affirming Congregation. Sundays 10:30am. 296 Angell Street, Providence.

331-1960. www.centralchurch.us.

Channing Memorial Church: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Sundays 10am. 135 Pelham Street, Newport.

846-0643. administrator@channingchurch.org. www.channingchurch.org.

Charter Oak Grove ADF: An Open and Welcoming Congregation of Neo-pagan Druids in CT. charteroakadf@gmail. com, www.charteroakadf.org.

Christ Church in Lonsdale: Episcopal.

1643 Lonsdale Avenue, Lincoln.

Services 8am and 10:30am.

725-1920. office@christchurchlincoln.org. www.christchurchlincoln.org.

Church of the Ascension, 390 Pontiac Ave., Cranston, RI 02910.

Options | December 2015

Sundays at 10am. 461-5811. www.ascensioncranston.org.

Church of the Epiphany: A diverse Open & Affirming Episcopal congregation. 1336 Pawtucket Avenue, East Providence. 434-5012. info@epiphanyep.org, www.epiphanyep.org.

Church of the Holy Paraclete: Independent Old Catholic.

Fr. Jakob Lazarus. Sunday 9am and 6pm. 155 Douglas Avenue, Providence. 218-0706. www.holyparaclete.org.

Edgewood Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming.

Service 10am. 1788 Broad Street, Cranston. 461-1344. office@edgewoodchurchri.org. www.edgewoodchurchri.org.

Emmanuel Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 120 Nate Whipple Highway, Cumberland. 658-1506. office@emmanuelri.org. www.emmanuelri.org.

First Congregational Church in Bristol: An Open and Affirming Congregation. Skip Macaulay, Interim Pastor. 281 High Street, Bristol. 253-7288. www.fccbristol.org.

First Unitarian Church: A welcoming congregation.

Sunday 10:30am. 1 Benevolent Street, Providence. 421-7970. admin@firstunitarianprov.org, www.firstunitarianprov.org.

First Unitarian Church: Service 11am. 71 8th Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 994-9686. admin@uunewbedford.org, www.uunewbedford.org.

First Universalist Society: UU. Welcoming congregation. Samegender weddings. 262 Chestnut Street, Franklin, MA. (508) 5285348. fusf@verizon.net, www.fusf.org.

Foxboro Universalist Church: UUA. Service 10am. 6 Bird Street, Foxboro, MA. 508-543-4002. chair@uufoxborough.org. www.uufoxborough.org.

Grace Episcopal Church in Providence: 175 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-3225. hello@gracechurchprovidence.org. www.gracechurchprovidence.org.

Hopedale Unitarian Parish: Sundays 10:30 am. 65 Hopedale St., Hopedale, MA. www.hopedaleunitarian.org, 508-473-0745. Rev. Tony Lorenzen.

Immanuel Lutheran Church: A Reconciling in Christ congregation. Pastor Sandra Demmler D’Amico. 647 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2898. www.immanuellc.org.

Interweave at Channing Memorial UU Church: Organization for the spiritual, political and social well-being of LGBTQ persons, and their allies, confronting oppression. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643.

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Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd: A “Reconciling in Christ” congregation (Welcoming). 3383 Old North Rd., Kingston, RI. Sundays 9 am. Pastor Mary Hansen-Joyce. 789-7776; office@ goodshepherdri.org Mathewson St. Church: United Methodist. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-8900. MathewsonStUMC@gmail.com.

Mercy of God Community: Christian, inclusive religious order. mercycomm@yahoo.com, www.mgc.org.

Murray Unitarian Universalist Church: Marriage and commitment ceremonies for all. Rev. Bob McKetchnie.

505 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-0505 www.murrayuuchurch.org.

Newman Congregational Church: Open & Affirming. 100 Newman Avenue, Rumford. 434-4742. www.newmanucc.org.

Newport Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming.

Rev. Hayes and Rev. Baker. 73 Pelham Street, Newport. 849-2238.

Park Place Congregational Church: 71 Park Place, Pawtucket.

726-2800. office@ppucc.necoxmail.com, www.parkplaceucc.com.

The Pub Church: An Open & Affirming church that meets in a pub. Location may change. Saturday 5pm. The Dugout, 722 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, MA. thepubchurch@gmail.com.

Pilgrim Lutheran Church: An inclusive congregation. Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 1817 Warwick Avenue, Warwick. 739-2937. parishasst@pilgrimlutheranri.org, pilgrimlutheranri.jimdo.com.

Pilgrim United Church of Christ: Open and Affirming. 635 Purchase Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)-997-9086.

Riverside Church: UCC.15 Oak Avenue, Riverside. Service 10am. 433-2039. www.rcc-ucc.com.

St. Augustine’s Church and Episcopal Center at URI: 15 Lower College Road, Kingston. 783-2153. Sundays 8am and 10am.

StAugustinesChurch@necoxmail.com, www.staugustineuri.org.

St. James Church: Episcopal. 474 Fruit Hill Avenue, North Providence. 353-2079.

St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 10am. 50 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 751-2141. StMartinsNB.Secretary@gmail. com, www.stmartinsprov.org.

St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Welcoming Church. Monthly LGBT Eucharist. 136 Rivet Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)994-8972. stmartins1887@comcast.com, www.stmartinsma.org.

St. Paul’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 9am.50 Park Place,Pawtucket.

728-4300. office@stpaulspawtucket.org, www.stpaulspawtucket.org.

St. Paul’s Church: A welcoming Episcopal church. Sundays 9am.

2679 East Main Street, Portsmouth. 683-1164. stpaulsportsmouthri.org.

St. Peter & St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church: 25 Pomona Avenue, Providence. 272-9649.stpanda25@verizon.net. www.stpeters-standrews.org.

Saint Therese Old Catholic Church: Open & Affirming. Fr. David Martins. Sunday 10:30am. 1500 Main St., W. Warwick, RI 02893. 680-9076. stocc134@gmail.com, www.saintthereseocc.org.

Second Congregational Church of Attleboro: UCC. Open & Affirming. 50 Park Street, Attleboro, MA. Sunday 10am. (508) 2224677. office2nd@verizon.net. www.attleborosecondchurch.org.

Seekonk Congregational Church: Open & Affirming. Sundays 9 and 10:30am. Rev. Joy Utter, 600 Fall River Ave., Seekonk, MA. (508) 336-9355. sccucc@verizon.net. www.scc-ucc.com.

Soka Gakkai: Buddhist association for peace, culture, and education.

Contact for weekly meetings in Providence. 930 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston. (617) 264-2000. www.sgi-usa.org.

Temple Agudas Achim: Reconstructionist congregation.

901 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2243. office@agudasma.org, www.agudasma.org.

Temple Beth-El: Rabbi Sarah E. Mack. 70 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 331-6070. info@temple-beth-el.org, www.temple-beth-el.org.

Temple Emanu-El: A welcoming Conservative congregation.

Rabbi Wayne Franklin. 99 Taft Avenue, Providence. 331-1616. info@teprov.org, www.teprov.org.

Temple Habonim: A warm, Welcoming Reform congregation.

Rabbi Andrew Klein. 165 New Meadow Road, Barrington. 2456536. office@templehabonim.org, www.templehabonim.org.

Temple Sinai: A Welcoming Reform temple. Rabbi Jeff Goldwasser, 30 Hagen Avenue, Cranston. 942-8350. webmaster@templesinairi.org, www.templesinairi.org.

Unitarian Church in Fall River: Sunday 10:30am. 309 North Main Street, Fall River, MA. 508-678-9700. office@unitarianchurchfr.org, www.unitarianchurchfr.org.

Unitarian Universalist Society of Fairhaven: Service 10:30am.

102 Green Street, Fairhaven, MA. (508) 992-7081. www. uufairhaven.org.

Unitarian Universalist Congregation of South County: 27 North Road, Peace Dale. 783-4170 or Val 789-7282. uucscri@ yahoo.com. www.uusouthcountyri.org.

Westminster Unitarian Universalist Church: A UUA Welcoming Congregation. 119 Kenyon Avenue, East Greenwich.

884-5933. www.westminsteruu.org.

Social Organizations Bear Providence: Monthly social events for the bear community. www.bearprovidence.com Bisexual Resource Center: PO Box 170796, Boston, MA. (617) 4249595. brc@bicresource.net www.biresource.net.

Biversity Boston: Mixed-gender social events for Boston and the surrounding area.

(617) 424-9595. biversity-subscribe@biversity.org, www.biversity.org.

Boston Bisexual Women’s Network: Social activities including monthly brunches, coming out groups and quarterly newsletter “Bi Woman Quarterly.” www.biwomenboston.org.

Bears Ocean State (BOS): Informal e-group for gay & bisexual bearidentified and affiliated men for friendly companionship. All welcome. groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsoceanstate.

Cape and Islands Gay & Straight Youth Alliance (CIGSYA): 56 Barnstable Road, Hyannis, MA. (508) 778-7744. info@cisgsya.org, www.cigsya.org.

Communisong: For unity through song. Non-performance monthly singing session. www.communisong.net.

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CORISMA: Potluck get-togethers for couples from RI and southeast MA. corismainfo@comcast.net, www.corismagroup.org.

Imperial Court of RI at Providence: Drag and non-drag performers raise funds for local charities. All welcome to general membership meetings on first Monday at Dark Lady, 17 Snow Street, Providence. icri.prov@gmail.com. www.icriprov.org.

Mixed Borders Gardening Group: Gardening and more. Monthly meetings, all welcome. Mixedborders@cox.net. www.mixedborders.com.

Opera Club: Enjoy hearing and attending. Last Sunday of each month at 1pm. BrettCornellpi4@aol.com.

Providence Gay Men’s Chorus: New season rehearsals begin in January and August. Singers and non-singing volunteers welcome. Monday 7-9:30pm. Beneficent Church, 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. www.provgmc.org.

Queer Book Club: 3rd Wednesday, 7pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence, queerbookclub@gmail.com.

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RI Association of Gay Professionals: Networking and philanthropy. www.riagp.com.

RI Parents Pride: Gay parents socializing together with their children. Contact Melanie. 464-2288. saphicangel120@yahoo.com.

RI Pride: Open house 4th Wednesdays. Festival & Parade 3rd Saturday in June. Office: 1005 Main Street #1105 Pawtucket. Mail: PO Box 1082, Providence, 02903. 467-2130. info@prideri.com, www.prideri.com.

RI Prime Timers: Social and networking group for older gay and bi men. Second Sunday. Call Steve, 996-3010. www.riprimetimers.org.

RI Skeptics Society: Yearning to talk with someone rational?

Refreshing discussion. Fourth Saturday. East Providence restaurant location. www.meetup.com/skeptics-133/.

RI Women’s Association: Lesbian social group. 21+. Dances & events. www.riwa.net.

SAGE/RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders): Advocacy, education and social events for LGBT seniors. SAGE-RI at CareLink, 1 Virginia Ave., Providence, RI 02905. 443-4451. sageriinfo@gmail. com. www.sage-ri.org.

SEMASSMEN: Social group for GBQ men of southeastern MA & RI to foster strong friendships. Semassmen-subscribe@ yahoogroups.com. rlevass@yahoo.com.

Yankee Lambda Car Club: Regional club for GLBT vintage and specialty car enthusiasts. www.yankeelcc.com.

Sports & Recreation PrideSports Boston: Network of twenty-plus gay sports leagues/teams in Boston area. www.pridesportsboston.com.

Boston Gay BASKETBALL League: ksg.bgbl@gmail.com, www.bgbl.com.

Big Gay Al’s Duckpin BOWLING League: Proceeds benefit AIDS causes. Tuesday 6:30pm. 1463 Atwood Avenue, Town Hall Lanes, Johnston. Contact Frank Ferri. 831-6940.www.bgalbowling. com. www.townhalllanes.com.

GALA Bowling League: Sundays 5:50 p.m., E. Providence Lanes, 80 Newport Ave., E. Providence. Season begins Aug. 30. View us on Facebook or email galabowling1990@gmail.com.

FLAG (For Lesbians And Gays) FOOTBALL: Boston-based recreational football club. All skill levels are encouraged to participate.

Saturday mornings in the fall and spring. www.flagflagfootball.com.

Boston Pride HOCKEY: www.bostonpridehockey.org.

Rondeaus KICKBOXING: 272-5425. www.rondeauskickboxing.com.

Main Street MARTIAL ARTS: Non-profit. Welcoming dojo and community center. 1282 North Main Street, Providence.

274-7672.www.mainstma.org.

Chiltern Mountain Club: OUTDOOR recreation club in New England. events@chiltern.org. www.chiltern.org.

Boston Gay ROWERS: Worldwide online community for gay and lesbian rowers, coxies, coaches, and race officials. www.glrf.org.

Boston Ironsides RUGBY Football: www.bostonironsides.org.

Providence Women’s RUGBY Club: Competitive and recreational. www.providencerugby.com Frontrunners Rhode Island RUNNING Group: Running and walking group. Newcomers welcome. Meet at the end of Blackstone

Options | December 2015

Boulevard at Hope Street, Providence.Thursday 6pm. Contact Brian.

751-7643. bripm@cox.net, frontrunnersri@gmail.com Frontrunners Boston RUNNING Group: Morning walk/ run along the Charles River. Saturdays,10am. Club Cafe, 209 Columbus Avenue, Boston, MA. www.frontrunnersboston.org.

OutRyders SKIING: New England’s largest gay and lesbian ski and snowboard club. www.outryders.org.

Boston Strikers SOCCER Club: Non-profit social organization to learn and improve soccer skills in a relaxed, congenial environment. www.bostonstrikers.com.

Renaissance City SOFTBALL League: New players and boosters always welcome. www.providencesoftball.org.

Beantown SOFTBALL League: Friendly competition. 27 teams in four divisions of play: competitive, intermediate, and recreational. (617) 297-7490. www.beantownsoftball.com.

LANES (Liquid Assets New England SWIMMING): Fitness and/or competition. (617) 937-5858. www.swim-lanes.org.

TENNIS-4-All: Boston area tennis organization. www.tennis4all.org.

Cambridge Boston VOLLEYBALL Association: Players of all skill levels welcome. secretary@cbvolleyball.net www.gayvolleyball.net.

Ocean State Pride VOLLEYBALL League: Adult coed indoor league following USVBA rules. No try-outs. Fee applies. Kent County YMCA, 900 Centerville Road, Warwick. ospvolleyball@gmail.com.

East Coast WRESTLING Club: (617)937.5858 x6. ecwc@juno.com. www.eastcoastwrestlingclub.org.

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Students & Youth Bristol Community College The Lambda Connection: (TLC@ BCC) Robert Delaleu, Advisor; BCC-G118, 777 Elsbree St., Fall River, MA (774)357-4056.

Brown University Queer Alliance: Umbrella organization at Brown University for LGBTQ groups. 863-3062. queer@brown. edu or lgbtq@brown.edu.

CCRI Triangle Alliance: an LGBTQQ student-run group at CCRI, on the Flanagan, Liston, and Knight campuses. www.ccri.edu/triangle/.

LGBT National Youth Talkline: 800-246-7743. Private oneto-one chat and info on local resources.

Peer Listening Line: Youth-staffed hotline for GLBT youth.

Support, info and referrals. 5-10pm. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston, MA. (617) 267-9001 or (800) 399-PEER. www. fenwayhealth.org.

Salve Regina University – The Alliance: 100 Ochre Point Avenue, Newport. Contact: Benjamin Mead, benjamin.mead@ salve.edu

S.H.E.P.A.R.D. (Stopping Homophobia, Eliminating Prejudices and Restoring Dignity): Providence College, 1 Cunningham Square, Providence. 865-1631. shepard@providence.edu.

The Trevor Project: The only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBT youth. Also offers social networks. (866)4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386). thetrevorproject.org.

University of RI LGBTIQ2: Alumni association. 874-5808. gsimonelli@uri.edu.

URI LGBTQ Center: A cultural department for students, faculty and staff. Florence Badejo. 874-2894.

Youth Pride Inc.: Support, education & advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 13--23. Tues. -- Fri. 2 -- 8pm. The Way Out peer support group Thurs. 4pm. Gender Spectrum support group Tues. 4pm. Visit our website for full calendar of events. 743 Westminster St., Providence. 421-5626. info@youthprideri.org. www.youthprideri.org.

Support Groups & Social Services Abuse Victims and Survivors: Support on phone for LGBTQ victims & survivors of partner abuse.

Confidential peer-led groups. Hotline: (617) 742-4911.

TTY: (617) 227-4911. advocate@tnlr.org.

Adoption Options: Non-sectarian help. Jewish Family Service, 959 North Main Street, Providence. Contact Betsy Alper. 331-5437. www.adoptionoptions.org.

Child & Family Services: Counseling, young parent support, adoption, more. LGBT groups beginning July.

Open six days. 66 Troy St., Fall River, MA. (508) 6765708. www.child-familyservices.org Community Care Alliance: Stipend, assistance, training provided by Family Resources Community Action. 2356095. www.famresri.org.

Foster parents needed: For newborn to age six. 2764300. www.childrensfriendri.org.

Family Service RI: Training,stipend,support provided for nurturing families. Family Service of RI. Contact Gregary Wright. 331-1350 ext. 3305. www.familyserviceri.org.

Seven Hills Behavioral Health: HIV Prevention and Screening. 310 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 235-1012.T.W.I.S.T. (508) 672-0378.

Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center: Offering resources for victims of domestic violence. 723-3057. www.bvadvocacycenter.org.

Compass: FTM trans info, support and social group.

Boston first Thursday 7-9pm. compassftm@gmail.com. www.compassftm.org.

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Crossroads RI Hotline: (800) 367-2700.

DayOne:Counseling&legalaidforvictimsofsexualassault/ abuse & incest. 24hr hotline. (800) 494-8100. 421-4100. www.dayoneri.org.

Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County: Support, court advocacy, counseling, safe home, info for women and men in abusive or controlling relationships. 24hr free and confidential helpline. 7823990 or toll free 800-494-8100, www.dvrcsc.org.

Gay Fathers of Greater Boston: Support. 738 Main St. #323, Waltham, MA. (781) 333-8429. info@ gayfathersboston.org, www.gayfathersboston.org.

Gay Officers Action League (GOAL)/New England: Law enforcement officers (sworn & civilian), fire, rescue & publicly employed EMS. Confidential. P.O. Box 171587, Boston, MA 02117. www.newenglandgoal. org. On Facebook at NewEnglandGOAL. Gay Share: Coming Out? Gay men’s support group.

No fee. Wednesday 7:30pm. Contact Tom or Mike. 3699448. info@gayshare.org, www.gayshare.org.

GLBTQ Domestic Violence Project: Support, info, shelter. 955 Massachusetts Avenue, Private Message Box 131, Cambridge, MA. (800) 832-1901. www.glbtqdvp. org.

Helpline for LGBT Youth: Trevor Helpline and social networks for crisis and suicide prevention. 24/7. (866) 4-U-Trevor.

Options | December 2015

HIV+ Gay Men’s Support Group: Refreshments served.

AIDS Care Ocean State, 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. 5213603. New members contact Scott. 640-3108.

Kathys’ Group: Free support group for lesbians with cancer or any life-threatening illness. Partners and caregivers welcome.

Meets monthly in Providence. 888-5KATHYS. Mantalk of S.E. Mass: Socializing and discussions for gay, bi and curious men. Confidential. Drug and alcohol-free. 18+.Thursdays in Taunton and first Tuesdays in New Bedford. 7-8:30pm. mantalksouthcoast@yahoo.com.

MentalHelp.net: National directory of inpatient treatment options for those with substance abuse problems. www. mentalhelp.net/care/substance-abuse/ri/ Partner Support Group at Fenway Health: A ten-week support group with the purpose of building community and connections for anyone who identifies as non-trans, ages 18+, and is in a relationship with a trans* person(s). 1340 Boylston Street, Boston, MA. Contact Sarah Eley, LICSW. 857-313-6551. seley@fenwayhealth.org.

PFLAG (Parents, & Friends of Lesbians & Gays): Attleboro Chapter serves Southeast Mass. Third Wednesday 6:45 p.m., Second Congregational Church, 50 Park St. (side door). email pflagattleboro@gmail.com. Greater Providence Chapter serves all R.I. First Wednesday at 6:45 p.m., Met School, 325 Public St., Providence. 751-7571. PFLAGprovidence@gmail.com. www. pflagprovidence.org.

RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 24hr helpline: (800) 494-8100. 467-9940.

RI Rainbow Support Group: For people with disabilities who identify as LGBTQ. Last Tuesday. 98 Rolfe Street, Cranston.

6-7:30pm. Contact Ken Renaud. 785-2100.

Samaritans: 24hr hotline for suicidal,lonely,despairing,depressed.

(800) 365-4044. 272-4044 (RI only). www.samaritansri.org.

Sexual Health Education & Advocacy Program: HIV, sexual wellness, domestic violence risk reduction. Free, confidential, bilingual (Spanish). No caller ID used. Calls blocked for safety.

861-6191 ext. 121.

Sojourner House: Call for confidential support group.

Support, shelter, advocacy and information for people in abusive relationships. Including specific LGBT services. No caller ID used.

Outgoing calls blocked for safety. 24hr helpline. 765-3232. 8616191. www.sojournerri.org Straight Spouses: Groups and online support. www. straightspouse.org.

TGI Network of RI: Support, advocacy for transgender, transsexual, gender-variant and/or intersex people. Borderlands peer group 1st & 3d Tues. and 1st & 3d Sat. of the month.

Location & information: 441-5058. info@tginetwork.org. www. tginetwork.org.

Trans* Partners New England: Gives romantic partners of transgender people a confidential, safe space to explore the impact of a loved one’s gender identity on their relationships, and to connect with other loved ones of transgender people.

Options | December 2015

First Wednesday 6:30-8:30pm. Providence. Location unpublished for privacy. partners@tginetwork.org.

Trans* Youth Family Allies: Support for gender-variant and transgender children ages 3-18. info@imatyfa.org, www.imatyfa. org.

Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA): Growing organization to address the concerns of fair treatment of transgender veterans and active duty service members. www. tavausa.org.

Women’s Resource Center of Newport and Bristol Counties: Offering services to victims of domestic violence.

846-5263. www.wrcnbc.org. q

37

Worth a Look

by The Lit Chick

Sashay into the holiday season with drag empress RuPaul’s newest album, Slay Belles. Her ninth studio release, Slay Belles is guaranteed to make your Yuletide gayer than it has ever been before.

Eleven poppy dance tracks stick close to RuPaul’s campy charm. Lyrics include Ru baking cookies in her Dutch oven and how much she loves her man’s candy cane. Standouts are collaborations with Michelle Visage, Big Freedia, and Markaholic.

My favorite though, is Ru’s own camptastic “You’re the Star (On My Christmas Tree).”

“My Christmas wish for all of you is that you love yourself,” says RuPaul on the reprise of “Merry Christmas, Mary.” “That is the greatest gift you can give to the world.”

As gays, says Ru, we have the opportunity to choose our families, and the backdrop to Slay Belles is a holiday party with Visage and the Ru Paul’s Drag Race Pit Crew. Here’s an opportunity to hear the Pit Crew actually speak, as they clown with Ru and tell their own holiday stories.

So, I’ve made my decision: Slay Belles, shantay, you stay. This squirrel friend will be listening to the album with my lady as we sip gluten-free eggnog and watch the cat climb the Christmas tree. I suggest downloading Ru’s older holiday album, Ho Ho Ho, to round out your holiday partay soundtrack.

Looking for even more drag royalty? Pick up a copy of The Harlot’s Guide to Classy Cocktails: Delicious Drink Recipes and Drunk Drag Queens.

Compiled by former Bible-majorturned-drag-queen and Huffington Post queen-in-residence Jeza Belle, this guide has everything you need to quench your thirst and survive any awkward family reunions.

Nestled in this “lexicon for lushes,” as the legendary Lady Bunny describes it in her spirited introduction, you will find such treats as the Hung Top, the Bottom’s Up, the brandy-laden Tuck, Kiki Cola, and the Root Queer Float.

The drink recipes may be plentiful, delicious and deceptively simple, but the real stars of this book are the drag queens themselves. Each recipe is garnished with favorite drunken (or sober) memories from more than 25 queens from all over the world, from Filipina showgirl La Chiquitta to Australia’s Prada Clutch and Heidi Liscious, and from Israeli queen Uriel Yekutiel to Hong Kong’s Coco Pop. The Kindle edition is aged to perfection and means you can have the recipes anywhere you might turn up.The only thing that would make this book better would be stories and recipes from the fabulous drag queens of our own Imperial Court of Rhode Island. Can I get an amen?

38

The holidays mean family, and it can’t get any closer than the co-dependent sister duo in director Jamie Babbit’s newest movie, Addicted to Fresno.

This time Babbit has teamed up with her wife, screenwriter Karey Dornetto, who’s best known for her work on Arrested Development, Portlandia, and South Park.

The film stars Orange Is the New Black’s Natasha Lyonne as Martha, a straight-laced lesbian hotel maid who revels in her Employee of the Month status and its accompanying parking spot. Her sister, Shannon, played perfectly by Jessica Greer, is just the opposite: an irresponsible ne’er-do-well whose sex addiction penetrates every part of her existence. Their sisterly love is tested when Shannon accidentally kills a smarmy hotel guest and the two embark on a crackpot adventure to cover it all up.

Addicted to Fresno has a momentum that builds slowly and then rolls forward like a series of train wrecks, one terrible decision after another. Lyonne and Greer deliver stellar performances along with an all-star cast that includes Molly Shannon, who plays the sister of the deceased, and Fred Armisen, who plays the proprietor of a pet cremation business that might be able to help the sisters out of their predicament.

Addicted to Fresno is currently in pre-release at the iTunes Store, and includes digital extras. Gather your siblings close over the holidays for a movie night.

Options | December 2015

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Original illustration for Festival Ballet Providence by Sylvie Mayer. Digital imaging by Erik Gould.

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