Options Magazine-May 2017 by Options Magazine

options May 2017

MEET

SCOTT TAYLOE

THE LGBTQ TRAVEL EXPERT

Options | May 2017

Rhode Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s LGBTQ Community Magazine Since 1982

Sunday, June 11 Roger Williams Park

In partnership with

The first 500 people to register for the Options Magazine Gay 5K Run/Walk will receive a tech shirt. Cotton T-shirts will be provided for all other registered participants. Create a team and encourage others to join the fun!

IN THIS ISSUE: 7

20 23 25 28

5 From the Executive Director 7 Oh, Mandy! 8 Newsbriefs 11 Whoops 12 Calendar 15 Foster Care Awareness Month 16 LGBTQ Traveler 20 Notes On a Banana 22 Montreal 23 Have Ball, Will Travel 24 Spring Into the New Season 25 Passages: Ralph Martino 26 Add a Little Sparkle to Your Travel Plans 27 Traveling With Teens 28 Out On the Town 31 Resources 38 Poetry 38 Transosaurus Rex

Home deliver y is free! Subscribe at www.optionsri.org, email subscriptions@optionsri.org, or write to us at our PO Box. ÂŠ OPTIONS 2017. Options is published monthly. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the volunteers or staff. Listings are provided as a resource and do not imply endorsement. Submissions to Options must include a phone number or email address. Names may be withheld on request. Submissions, ads, calendar, or resource listings for the June 2017 issue must be delivered by May 8.

Options | May 2017

JUNE 16TH WITH HITS LIKE FINALLY,

WE GOT A LOVE THANG AND MANY MORE HITS

Doors 7:00 Show

OPEN AT

STARTS AT

$20 $25

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PRESENTS

CeCe PENISTON

IN ADVANCE AT THE DOOR

A portion of ticket sales will be donated to:

options magazine BUY TICKETS AT SKYLINEATWATERPLACELIVE.COM 4

Options | May 2017

From the Executive Director It was May of 1982 when the Rhode Island Gay Task Force published the first issue of their newsletter, Options. In that inaugural issue, Editor Jos Fayette explained “The RIGTF wants to make the homosexual community aware of their options as gay men and women in Rhode Island. And it’s only because we live, work, love, and play in this state that there are such a large number of options available to all of us.” Those who read the publication during those first years recall its black-and-white pages packed with information about the local gay community. While the occasional illustration and advertisement provided an element of design, it wasn’t the look and feel of Options that enticed readers to subscribe: it was the lone media source for the community, providing an outlet for networking and dialogue, an opportunity to rally the community, and a voice for the voiceless. As the community evolved, so too did Options. It was the February/March issue of 1986 when the headline “AIDS in RI” blazed courageously on the cover. What followed was a narrative describing the “28 AIDS cases reported to the R.I. Department of Health as of January 1, 1986” and the epidemic that was raging before our eyes. Over the years we’ve added pages, changed our logo, moved offices, and incorporated more design elements into the publication. There have been many heated discussions over the proper use of punctuation, which acronym most appropriately describes our community, and whether an article should be included in an issue. Throughout our history, there have been many times when the leadership team behind the organization was unsure of how the next issue could be printed and how the bills would be paid. The reasons we’ve survived were largely the generosity of our advertisers and the dedication of the volunteers who devoted time and passion to produce each issue. We approach this milestone – our 35th anniversary -- with a clear vision for the future of Options and a plan in place of how to get there. Though, while we’re in the best financial place we’ve been in decades and we have an active board of directors guiding our organizational structure, we’re as fragile as we were back in 1982. Options is still an all-volunteer organization that relies on the work of writers, editors and nonprofit partners to produce each issue. On May 20, we’re celebrating our anniversary with a party and we hope you’ll join us! We’re hosting A Black and White Affair at Skyline located in Waterplace Park in Providence. The event is not black-tie, but we’re encouraging all to wear black and/or white attire. Tickets are $100 each and include an open bar from 7:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m. and food catered by Russel Morin.To purchase tickets, visit www.optionsri.org. As our community grapples with the changing landscape surrounding us, Options to continue to provide a platform for dialogue and robust resources. We need individuals to become active members of the organization in a variety of roles including board members, copy editors, website and social medial volunteers, and administrative functions. If you have an interest in ensuring that Options serves the community, please reach out. As Fayette said in that first issue, “Exercise your OPTIONS today to make positive changes in your life tomorrow.” Onward, Kyle McKendall

Options | May 2017

options

Rhode Island’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community news source since 1982. May 2017, XXXVI, Issue 1

Executive Director Kyle McKendall kyle@optionsri.org Managing Editor Marie Hopkins marie@optionsri.org Resources Editor Myra Shays resources@optionsri.org Calendar Editor Jen Stevens calendar@optionsri.org Copy Editors Marie Hopkins, Rex LeBeau, Christine Pavao, Myra Shayes Graphic Design Theresa “Reese” Barzyk Contributors Felicia Nimue Ackerman, Matthew Boucher, Adam Brooks, Will Demers, David Douriez, Bradford Greer, Jonathan Izzard, Rex LeBeau, Nina Mach, William Morrow, Haley Star, Scott Tayloe, Greg Wright Photographers Jen Bonin, Ryan Clarke Finance Director Will Menihan billing@optionsri.org Subscription Manager Francis Ryan frank@optionsri.org Advertising advertising@optionsri.org

Cover: Photo of Scott Tayloe in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil Photo credit, Josh Tayloe, 2017

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Options | May 2017

Oh, Mandy!

I have something to tell you… By David Douriez

This week, when hearing of Barry Manilow’s recent coming out, numerous millennials quickly turned to their parents or older generation mentors to inquire about the nature of this singer’s fame. A quick online search produces Manilow as the creative genius behind timeless classics of “I Can’t Smile Without You,” “Mandy,” and even “Weekend in New England.” (If curious about this last song title, aside from its mention of rocky beaches and blowing wind, there is little mention of New England in its lyrics.) For many years, Barry Manilow, born Barry Alan Pincus, maintained his privacy about the most intimate details of his personal life. In an April 2017 interview with People Magazine, however, Manilow undertook his coming out after many years of media

Options | May 2017

speculation. Keeping in mind that his tracks mainly included romance ballads, which mainly catered to middle-class females, Manilow was long concerned that his loyal “Fanilows” would not accept the true nature of his heart’s desires. At age 73, and prior to the release of his April 2017 album, Manilow boldly declared his love for longtime manager Garry Kief. It is said that he and Kief tied the knot in 2014 in a secret ceremony at Manilow’s Palm Springs estate. This occurred after telling guests they were being invited to a lunch. These must be true friends indeed, if they remained amenable to pose for wedding pictures, in the simple attire of Sunday brunch! In his interview, Manilow describes Kief

as “the smartest man he’s ever met” and credits him with organizing complex arena tours, heading promotions, and serving as president of Barry Manilow Productions. Their story is a welcome addition to the message that it is never too late to come out of the closet. Manilow’s closest friends are said to have already been aware of the true nature of Manilow and Kief ’s relationship. This coming out to the media however, is evidence of our changing times. With help of a time capsule, some might remember that Barry Manilow grew much of his fame in his years performing with Bette Midler in the gay bathhouses of New York… However, the polite thing to do is to act shocked when one comes out. I smile, accept the gesture, and thank Barry. q

NEWS BRIEFS

Caitlyn Jenner Memoir In her upcoming memoir, “The Secrets of My Life,” Caitlyn Jenner has revealed that she underwent gender reassignment surgery in January of this year. Jenner’s transition has been a topic of much attention ever since she came out as transgender on the cover of the April 2015 issue of Vanity Fair. The former Olympian revealed that she made the decision to undergo surgery after feeling irritated by fans and members of the media asking prying questions about her genitals. “You want to know, so now you know. Which is why this is the first time, and the last time, I will ever speak of it,” Jenner says in her book. “The surgery was a success, and I feel not only wonderful, but liberated.” “The Secrets of My Life” hit bookstores on April 25, and has earned Caitlin a $4 million advance. In previous interviews, Jenner was reluctant to speak out about the more intimate details of her transition, maintaining that what she did with her body was her own business. Perhaps her decision to publicize her surgery, and any insight offered in her book, will help other members of the transgender community with their transitions.

by Adam Brooks

NCAA Backpedals on Plan to Stand Up to LGBTQ Discrimination The National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Board of Governors backed down on their previous pledge to disallow holding NCAA championship games in North Carolina until the state’s House Bill 2 was repealed. The bill, also known as HB2, has been controversial since its introduction because it would remove anti-discrimination protections for LGBTQ people. The association has announced in a press conference that they will again likely bring their games back to North Carolina as a majority of its board of governors “reluctantly voted to allow consideration” of some of the state’s cities. Understandably, the move has gotten the NCAA a lot of negative attention. Chad Grifin, president of the Human Rights Campaign, condemned the association, saying in a statement, “The NCAA’s decision to backtrack on their vow to protect LGBTQ players, employees, and fans is deeply disappointing and puts people at risk. After drawing a line in the sand and calling for repeal of HB2, the NCAA simply let North Carolina lawmakers off the hook.” Many say that it’s unlikely that the North Carolina will successfully repeal HB2 any time soon, as the state’s Republican legislators pushed a new bill known as HB142, which prohibits cities from passing trans-inclusive protections until the year 2020.

Legal Advocates Join Call for Supreme Court to Review Arkansa’s Refusal to Document Married Same-Sex Parents on Birth Certificates The GLBTQ Legal Advocates (GLAD) submitted two legal briefs to the U.S. Supreme Cour t to establish the right of married same-sex couples in Arkansas to have both parents’ names listed on the bir th cer tificates of their children. GLAD is providing counsel on one of the briefs, representing 54 family law professors. They are advising on the second brief which was filed jointly with Lambda Legal. The briefs argue that the Arkansas State Supreme Cour t’s ruling to disallow both names of same-sex parents on their child’s bir th cer tificate is in direct violation of the U.S. Supreme Cour t’s Obergefell and Windsor rulings that same sex couples have the right to marriage and to “the constellation of benefits that the states have linked to marriage.” Arkansas made its decision in the case Pavan vs. Smith where a married same-sex couple was denied the right to have the non-biological parent listed on a child’s birth cer tificate despite the fact that husbands in opposite-sex couples are regularly listed as the second parent in cases involving assisted reproduction. GLAD noted in their case documents that not including the name of both parents on a child’s bir th cer tificate deprives a child of several impor tant protections.

Options | May 2017

YouTube Function Filters Out LGBT Content YouTube’s “Restricted Mode,” a feature designed to allow schools and parents to filter out inappropriate content for children, has gotten the site into some trouble when users noticed that the mode filters out a large percentage of LGBTQ material. When first confronted, YouTube representatives argued that “LGBTQ videos are available in Restricted Mode, but videos that discuss more sensitive issues may not be.” This statement was disproven, however, as members of the YouTube community further investigated and a video entitled “GAY flag and me petting my cat to see if youtube blocks this” (which, as the name suggests, pictured a gay flag and a cat being petted) was filtered out of the channel when the restricted mode was activated. Because so many videos are uploaded each day, the company uses algorithms to classify videos by scanning the titles and video content and relying on users to identify possibly offensive content. But does that mean that these algorithms automatically flag keywords such as “LGBTQ,” “gay,” and “lesbian”? The company hasn’t said, but they are trying to fix their restricted mode so that both YouTube users and the corporations that advertise with YouTube will be satisfied. In a statement with a group of adver tisers paying for their ads to appear before targeted videos, Google’s chief business officer, Philipp Schindler, promised that YouTube would be “developing new tools powered by our latest advancements in AI and machine learning to increase our capacity to review questionable content for adver tising.”

Boston’s Mayor Walsh Raises Transgender Flag In Protest of Anti-Trans Bus An anti-transgender bus, sponsored by conservative groups such as the National Organization for Marriage, the International Organization for the Family, and CitizenGo, was met with a sizable protest as it made its trip from Boston to Cambridge, Massachusetts. The bus, big, orange, and labeled with the message “It’s biology: Boys are boys…and always will be. Girls are girls…and always will be. You can’t change sex,” was supposedly designed to raise awareness about “so-called transgender rights,” according to a spokesperson for the National Organization for Marriage. The goal of the conservative organizations was and is primarily to raise awareness of the opposition of proposed and implied “bathroom bills.” Members of the transgender community and Boston’s elected leaders alike rallied against the bus’s hateful message. After the vehicle stopped at City Hall, Boston Mayor Mar ty Walsh raised a transgender flag on the plaza with Alex Zafris, a transgender woman who serves as his deputy director of scheduling. “We will not be intimidated by discrimination or harassment. And we will not tolerate these types of actions,” said Walsh in a press conference outside of City Hall after raising the transgender flag. “When you deny the experience of transgender individuals, you are denying the experience of basic human civil rights.” q

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Options | May 2017

WHOOPS! Statement in regard to the results of the Imperial Court of Rhode Island’s Coronation XXV: To the Rhode Island & southeastern Massachusetts LGBTQ Communities and fellow court courtiers – The Board of Directors and The College of Monarchs of the Imperial Court of Rhode Island at Providence regrets to announce that there was an error in the results of the Monarch Election held during the Imperial Court of Rhode Island’s Coronation XXV Ball this past Saturday evening. It was brought to the attention of the Board of Directors that the bylaws used to determine the winner were the incorrect ones. The organization has bylaws in place to determine a monarch election in the case where there are multiple candidates, as well as, in the case of a single candidate. The bylaws that were presented on Saturday evening to determine the winner of the election were based on the single candidate scenario.

On Monday evening, an emergency meeting of the Board of Directors and College of Monarchs was held to discuss and determine a solution to this error. Based on the election results and proper bylaws, we are honored to announce that Empress candidate, Gingah Rale, has been duly elected the 25th Empress of the Imperial Court of Rhode Island at Providence. A proposal submitted by Gingah Rale and approved by the Board of Directors and College of Monarchs, has stated that both she and Roxie Van Cartier will reign together as co-Empresses for the 25th Reign. Both Gingah and Roxiie will be bestowed the titles and privileges of Empress 25 of the Imperial Court of Rhode Island and allow them to join forces to continue the great tradition of performing noble deeds for our community. The official crowning of Empress 25 Gingah Rale will take place on Saturday evening and more details will be announced as they become available.

Yours in service, Robert Parrish President, Board of Directors

The Providence Gay Mens Chorus Kim Kuda, Artistic Director present

The

Rat Pack is Back tickets

venue

Friday, June 2nd 7:00 PM Saturday, June 3rd 7:00 PM Sunday, June 4th 4:00 PM The Greenwich Odeum 59 Main St. East Greenwich, RI

$25

facebook.com/providencegmc

available at www.provgmc.org

Options | May 2017

CALENDAR OF EVENTS MAY

Wed. 3 SalsaConSoul by TeamFusionRI, 8pm-1am. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. Open to dancers of all levels of experience. No partner needed. $15 cover, includes lessons. $10 after 10pm. For more info, facebook. com/SalsaConSoul.

Becky Chace Band at the Village May13

Queer Book Club: The Right Side of History May 17

Wed. 3 & Thu. 4 Performer auditions for a staged reading of TRANS*, 6-8:30pm in the Paff Auditorium, URI Feinstein Providence Campus, 80 Washington Street. TRANS* is a full-length play created from oral histories of members of the local transgender community. Transgender performers are especially encouraged to audition. Rehearsals will be scheduled for performances on June 1 and 2. A moderated discussion of the play will follow the staged reading. For more info, contact Steven Pennell at 277-5206 or uri. artsandculture@gmail.com. Fri. 5 Comedy with Jackie Monahan, John Kelley, and Karen O’Donnell, 8pm.The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $10. Reservations can be made at www.thevillageri.com or 228-7222. Sat. 6 Sirsy, 9pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations www.thevillageri.com or 2287222.

The Black & White Affair: Options Magazine’s 35th Anniversary Event May 20

Sun. 7 Trans Swim Night, 4-6pm. McDermott Pool, 975 Sandy Lane, Warwick. For info, jayew@thundermisthealth.org. Sun. 7 King of Queens: America’s Most Wanted, 7pm. Eleven first-time drag queens compete for the title of King of Queens. The Colosseum, 180 Pine Street, Providence. $20 to benefit AIDS Care Ocean

State. Visit Bit.Ly/KOQ2017 for tickets or to donate.

Tue. 9 Trans Yoga, 6-7:15pm. West Warwick Health Equity Zone office, 1229 Main Street, West Warwick. For more info, jayew@thundermisthealth.org. Thu. 11 Sweet Little Variety Show, 8pm. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. A queer-produced potpourri of entertainment. $7. Find Sweet Little Variety Show on Facebook. Fri. 12 Fifth Annual Conference on Youth Sexual Health Education, 8am-3pm. Alger Hall, Rhode Island College, 600 Mt. Pleasant Avenue, Providence. Presented by The Rhode Island HIV and STI Prevention Coalition. Professional education opportunity for youth-serving providers and community partners featuring a youth panel, skills-building workshops, and poster sessions. $35 includes breakfast and lunch. To register https://tinyurl. com/CYSHE2017. For more information, contact Alec Tributino at alec.tributino@ lifespan.org. Fri. 12 Amanda McCarthy, 9pm.The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations can be made at www.thevillageri.com or 2287222. Sat. 13 Becky Chace Band, 9pm.The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations www.thevillageri. com or 228-7222. Sun. 14 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Social, dinner, and networking group for older gay and bi men on second Sundays. For more info, www. riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010.

Wed. 17 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: The Right Side of History: 100 Years of LGBTQ Activism by Adrian Brooks. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com. Thu. 18 Drag Bingo: Beach Party Bingo, 6-9pm. Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Avenue, Cranston. $20 gets you in all games with over $2,000 in cash and prizes awarded monthly. Hosted by Haley Star and LaDiva Jonz. All funds raised benefit AIDS Care Ocean State and AIDS Project RI. 18+ event. No alcohol. Email Bingo@ AIDSCareoceanstate.org with name, number of people, and phone number for reservations. Fri. 19 SAGE LGBT Café, noon-2pm. Church of the Transfiguration, 1665 Broad Street, Cranston. A delicious, low-cost lunch in a gay-friendly setting sponsored by Meals on Wheels, the Department of Elderly Affairs, and SAGERI. Programming after lunch. A $3 donation is suggested for LGBT people 60+ and people with disabilities; a $6 donation is suggested for all others. Reservations required. Call Pauline at 351-6700. Fri. 19 Michael Giammarco, 9pm.The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations www.thevillageri. com or 228-7222. Sat. 20 A Black & White Affair: Options Magazine’s 35th Anniversary Event, 7pm. Skyline at Waterplace, 1 Finance Way, Providence. $100 includes open bar from 7-10pm. $20 ticket to the late-night dance party only are $20. Purchase online at www.optionsri.org.

Options | May 2017

Sat. 20 Bachata/Kizomba Fusion Night by TeamFusionRI, 8pm-2am. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. Open to dancers of all levels of experience. No partner needed. $20 cover, includes two lessons. $15 after 10pm. For more info, facebook.com/ SalsaConSoul. Sat. 20 Midnight Honey, 8:30pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations www. thevillageri.com or 228-7222. Sun. 21 International Family Equality Day, 11am-2pm. Hank Soars Fields, 500 Prospect Street, Pawtucket. Family fun activities hosted by The Family Equality Council, Babies for Us, and Renaissance City Softball League. Free. All are welcome. For more info, babiesforus.org. Sun. 21 RISE Discotheque with DJ Andy Morris, 3pm. Rooftop at the Providence G, 100 Dorrance Street, Providence. LGBTQ tea-dance atop Providence with live show at 6pm. 18+. No cover. Sun. 21 Interweave presents: 5:30pm potluck dinner with movie at 7pm. Parish Hall behind Channing Memorial Church, 135 Pelham Street, Newport. All are welcome. Free. Bring a dish to share if you would like to join the potluck. For more info, contact Rex at 595-9068 or interweave@ channingchurch.org. Tue. 23 Trans Yoga, 6-7:15pm. West Warwick Health Equity Zone office, 1229 Main Street, West Warwick. For more info, jayew@thundermisthealth.org.

JUNE

Thu. 1, Fri. 2 TRANS*, a play created from oral histories by Frank Toti, 7:30pm. URI’s Paff Auditorium, 80 Washington Street, Providence. Free and open to the public. For more info, call 277-5206, email uri. artsandculture@gmail.com, or visit web.uri.edu/prov/arts. Fri. 2 – Sun. 3 Providence Gay Men’s Chorus presents The Rat Pack is Back, the music of Sinatra and Friends, Fri. and Sat. 7pm, Sun. 4pm. Greenwich Odeum, 59 Main Street, East Greenwich. Tickets and info available at www.provgmc.org. Fri. 2 Comedy with Poppy Champlin and Friends, 8pm.The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations www.thevillageri.com or 2287222. Sat. 3 US Tennis Association New England Chapter Family Tennis Day, 4-6pm. Location TBD. For more info, email Jess at jess.motyl@prideri.com. Sat. 3 Sister Funk, 8:30pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations can www.thevillageri.com or 228-7222. Sun. 4 Trans* swim, 4-6pm. McDermott Pool, 975 Sandy Lane, Warwick. For more info, jayew@thundermisthealth.org. Wed. 7 SalsaConSoul by TeamFusionRI, 8pm-1am. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. Open to dancers of all levels of experience. No partner needed. $15 cover includes a lesson. $10 after 10pm. For more info, facebook. com/SalsaConSoul. Thu. 8 Sweet Little Variety Show, 8pm. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street,

Options | May 2017

Providence. A queer-produced potpourri of entertainment. $7. Find Sweet Little Variety Show on Facebook. Fri. 9 Retro Dance Party with Vulgarrity, 9pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations can be made at www.thevillageri.com or 228-7222. Fri. 9 Gay Pride Sabbath, 7:30pm. Temple Habonim, 165 New Meadow Rd., Barrington. Public is welcome. Reception to follow. Speaker: Myra Shays. Info: 245-6536

Comedy with Poppy Champlin at the Village

June 2

Sat. 10 Jodi Jolt and The Volt, 9pm.The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations www.thevillageri. com or 228-7222. Sun. 11 Options Magazine Gay 5K Run/Walk, 10am. Roger Williams Park, 1000 Elmwood Ave, Providence. A benefit for Options Magazine. The first 500 people to register for the Options Magazine Gay 5K Run/Walk will receive a tech shirts. Cotton t-shirts will be provided for all other registered participants. Register today at www.runthegay5k.com.

Retro Dance Party with Vulgarrity

June 9

Sun. 11 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Social, dinner, and networking group for older gay and bi men on second Sundays. For more info, www. riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010. Tue. 13 Trans Yoga, 6-7:15pm. West Warwick Health Equity Zone office, 1229 Main Street, West Warwick. For more info, jayew@thundermisthealth.org.

Options Magazine Gay 5K Run/Walk

Tue. 13 Pride Yoga, 6pm. Sunday, June 11 June 11 South Water Street Greenway, Roger Williams Park The first 500 people to register for the Options Providence. Tanya GorriaranMagazine Gay 5K Run/Walk will receive a tech shirt. Cotton T-shirts will be provided for all other registered participants. Goodwin will instruct an allCreate a team and encourage others to join the fun! levels outdoor Vinyasa Pride

In partnership with

CALENDAR OF EVENTS Yoga class. Participants should bring mats and anything you may want during the session, such as a towel or water. Free for all participants, donations accepted for RI Pride.

Drag Bingo June 15

Rhode Island Pride’s PrideFest June 17

Illuminated Night Parade June 17

Thu. 15 Drag Bingo: RI Pride Bingo, 6-9pm. Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Avenue, Cranston. $20 gets you in all games with over $2,000 in cash and prizes awarded monthly. $100 cash prize for best bonnet. Hosted by Haley Star and LaDiva Jonz. All funds raised benefit AIDS Care Ocean State and AIDS Project RI. Fri. 16 SAGE LGBT Café, noon-2pm. Church of the Transfiguration, 1665 Broad Street, Cranston. A delicious, low-cost lunch in a gay-friendly setting sponsored by Meals on Wheels, the Department of Elderly Affairs, and SAGERI. Programming after lunch. A $3 donation is suggested for LGBT people 60+ and people with disabilities; a $6 donation is suggested for all others. Reservations required. Call Pauline at 351-6700. Fri. 16. Cece Peniston, 7pm. Skyline at Waterplace, 1 Finance Way, Providence. $20 in advance, $25 at the door. Enjoy hits like “Finally” and “We Got A Love Thing.” A portion of ticket sales will benefit Options Magazine. Doors at 7pm, Show at 9pm. For tickets, visit www. skylineatwaterplacelive.com Fri. 16 Pre-Pride Block Party with Sheri Lynn Band, 9pm.The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations www.thevillageri.com or 2287222.

Sat. 17 The Meet-Uhp PVD, 8pm-2am. Alchemy, 71 Richmond Street, 2nd Floor, Providence. Latin dancing open to all levels. No partner needed. $15 cover includes lesson. For info, facebook.com/ SalsaConSoul. Sat. 17 42nd Annual Rhode Island PrideFest, noon-8pm. Presented by Dark Lady & Alley Cat. South Water Street Greenway, Providence. PrideFest features a Kids Zone, Youth Center, over 100 vendors, a beer/wine/spirits garden, and live entertainment. Free for all ages. Donations suggested. For more info, www.prideri.com. Sat. 17 Rhode Island Pride’s Illuminated Night Parade, 8pm. Presented by Dark Lady & Alley Cat. Starts at Dorrance and Washington Streets in downtown Providence and travels west on Washington Street, South on Empire Street., and East on Weybosset Street past the PPAC Reviewing Stand. Free for all ages. For more info, www.prideri.com. Sun. 18 Trans swim, 4-6pm. McDermott Pool, 975 Sandy Lane, Warwick. For more info, jayew@thundermisthealth.org.

Sarah Schulman. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com. Tue. 27 Trans Yoga, 6-7:15pm. West Warwick Health Equity Zone office, 1229 Main Street, West Warwick. For more info, jayew@thundermisthealth.org. Regularly Scheduled Support Groups: ACOS (HIV/AIDS): youth,Tue. 4pm/gay males, Wed. 1:30pm LGBT Alcoholics Anonymous: Tue. 7pm PFLAG (parents, friends, allies): 1st & 3rd Wed. 6:45pm TGI Network (trans): 1st & 3rd Tue. 7pm/Sat. 1pm TransFamily New England: 2nd Mon. 6:30pm YPI (youth): Way Out,Thu. 4pm/Gender Spectrum,Tue. 4pm/youth 13 and under:Thu. 5pm See Resources on page 31 for complete information q

Sun. 18 RISE Discotheque with DJ Andy Morris, 3pm. Rooftop at the Providence G, 100 Dorrance Street, Providence. LGBTQ t-dance atop Providence with live show at 6pm. 18+. No cover. Wed. 21 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: The Cosmopolitans by

Options | May 2017

Foster Care

Awareness Month

By Greg Wright, Program Manager, Family Service of Rhode Island

ADVERTISE with Options TODAY! Prices start at just $90. Contact advertising@optionsri.org.

Family Service of Rhode Island is proud of our “We Take Pride in All Families” initiative. This campaign was started to bring awareness to the LGBTQ community that LGBTQ individuals and couples are welcome to apply with our agency to be licensed foster care parents. We are encouraging LGBTQ and LGBTQfriendly homes to help children in state care who need a safe and nurturing place to live. “Being foster dads really put our lives in perspective,” said current Family Service of RI adoptive parents Michael Leighton and Marc Fernandes. “Instead of counting days towards our next vacation or deciding which restaurant to make reservations, we are counting numbers with kids and dining at home. We have opened our home and hearts to share with these two kids, only to experience love, humility, respect, and great appreciation for humanity.” Becoming a foster care parent can help provide the guidance that children need in a safe environment while their biological parents begin to rebuild their lives. At Family Service of Rhode Island, our program recruits, trains, and supports families who have the room in their homes and their hearts to provide a stable home for children. Foster parents will receive full initial and on-going training, plus a weekly stipend to help support the child’s placement. While the commitment is huge, the rewards are great. For more information, contact Leidy Alves, Foster Family Recruiter/Family Support Specialist at the Family Service of RI Treatment Foster Care Program. 401-331-1350, extension #3326. q

Options | May 2017

D L R O THE W N A F O S E Y THE E e

By Scott Taylo

THROUGH

R E L E V A R T Q T B LG

We had lived in Pasadena an entire year but that day was a day I would never forget. Our routine of a simple morning coffee run was met with a simple act of kindness through a greeting card. An act that impacted me far greater than I ever could have imagined. Reading the card my emotions were anything but simple, taking me back to a period that changed my path forever. A period I had hoped to forget, but one so profound it became the pillar of my existence and a determination that one day things will change.

s I looked over the crowd my anxiety seemed to wash away. Until that moment I honestly hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the slightest idea of what I was going to talk about. As an international educator traveling the globe was my very existence. I had been traveling since backpacking in Europe the summer after high school graduation, a ten-year period that brought forward a positive effect on my level of patience and open-mindedness, and a negative effect on my college credit card debt. An area church had seen in the local paper what my organization was doing to better the lives of a group of abandoned and abused girls at an orphanage in Guayaquil, Ecuador. They had a calling to help, and, recognizing that they didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the means

to travel abroad, they immediately began donating goods and supplies for us to take down with us. After a number of trips they called once again offering to help. This time help came in the form of a speech. They requested that I reach out to the church ladies group in the interest of giving more attention to our cause.

importance of my mission; recalling the strife of those girls back in Ecuador washed my fears away. Thinking of the group of girls whose desires and dreams had been stripped away, whose voices were taken from them, in that moment I realized I was their voice.

Arriving that night I honestly expected that I would be speaking to a small gathering of women. Being keynote speaker to a group of 200, however, was definitely not on my radar. Nor was my sexual orientation as a gay man on theirs. Confronted by the attendance numbers and seeing my name in bold print, anxiety took over as my natural reaction. But as I stood there preparing to address the crowd, my thoughts returned to the

Options | May 2017

Over the course of the next 45 minutes I gave my version of “I Have a Dream.” I spoke to the ladies about my mother’s missionary work traveling to Central America when I was a child. I shared how all I saw back then was my mom taking toys to somewhere far away from home; but as to the kids who received those toys? They felt an act of kindness that they had not known was missing from their lives. Finishing my speech, I felt on top of the world. The audience’s response was mixed with tears, smiles, and hope. It was summed up by one person’s statement, “This was an inspiring message, and I think I can speak for everyone here that we all feel called to help even more.” As the priest approached the pulpit you could still feel the energy in the room. He thanked me for my worthwhile message and then thanked his congregation for being open to supporting these girls who lived so far away. He then added,“that there

Options | May 2017

is also so much we can do right here in our own backyards. First, we can all start by going to the polls on Tuesday and voting against gay marriage.”

level of flexibility when respecting that even a hetero couple should avoid public displays of affection while traveling in Dubai. Ever since that speech, I have continued to travel. I have learned that opening up to another culture and understanding the background and stories that lead up to our present moment in history provides us with the power to respect anyone for their differences. Recently, while on a trip to Greece with a group of LGBTQ educators, one of our travelers asked the tour guide if she was

My heart sank. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. A few minutes prior, I had felt as though I could speak for days, but at that moment I felt nothing but speechless. Travel has taught me so much over the years. It’s brought me a level of patience when waiting for a bus in Latin America, a level of understanding of a culture when asked if I was “a gay” in the Philippines, a

open their doors to our community, laws knocked down, and wedding chapels open to us. It’s our opportunity through travel to understand, respect, and learn from those differences – but never forget that simple similarity. Back in Pasadena we had a card to open. A card that was given to us by a priest and his four friends who met every morning for coffee. A group of friends who only a year earlier stopped me, my husband and our son and asked, “How did you get him?” while pointing to our adopted son. They had never seen two men with a baby, well maybe the movie, but never two gay men walking with a stroller into the local Starbucks.

open to LGBTQ student groups. The woman, without skipping a beat, and in her second language of English, responded, “Of course. I love all visitors to my beautiful country. I have done tours for gay and normal groups.” The use of the word normal sent our group cringing with anger. Too often we react quickly to something that appears to be negative, and thus we fail to recognize the genuine nature of a crosscultural learning moment happening right before our eyes. In this case, the tour guide was using a language that is not her native tongue, and she wanted us to know she has done a variety of tours, and that she welcomed all travelers, regardless as to what designation they traveled under, whether they were a random group of travelers or one promoted as LGBTQ made no difference to her.

second, foreign language. Traveling the globe brings forward these opportunities on a daily basis and even more so as a LGBTQ traveler. Our guards are already up. They don’t have gay marriage so they must hate us, being gay is punishable by death so we better reserve two beds in our hotel room so they’ll never figure us out. It’s human nature. We fear the unknown and question anything that appears to be different. But if we are closed off and show a level of anger when hit with something hard, are we any better than they are? It is common knowledge that we are made up of a world of varying beliefs, backgrounds, and cultures. But there is one similarity we all have, and that’s the ability to change. For generations we’ve seen religions

So we educated them on our story, and they educated us on how far things have come in their lifetime. Our shared story could’ve been so different had I reacted with anger when he asked me that question, but my travels taught me differently. The card was congratulating us on our marriage. It was the day after the Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage and it was signed by the priest and his friends. And for the second time in the last decade, I was left speechless. q ----------------------------------------Scott Tayloe is the Founder and Executive Director of Hayden’s List, a review website for the LGBTQ community, and the Vice-President of Custom Solutions at CISabroad – winner of the Innovation Award in Diversity for LGBTQ Ally Training and Travel in 2016. He lives in Ponte Vedra, Florida with his husband and their 3 year old adopted son, Hayden.

Here was an opportunity to educate both parties. Educate her on the use of the word “normal” when using the English language, and also to educate ourselves on the recognition and patience for others: perhaps if speaking in Greek we may have felt vastly differently about the conversation. Before taking offense, we needed to consider if her use of the word “normal” was showcasing a lack of openness to our community or more likely, merely the simple misuse of a word when using a

Options | May 2017

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Options | May 2017

10/16

HR-90103

NOTES ON AAn Interview BANANA: With David Leite

By William Morrow

Q: Your first book! Congratulations on what is an incredibly amazing and awesome accomplishment. Describe what it felt like holding your book for the first time? A: Incomparable! When the copies arrived, I was alone—my partner, Alan, was in the city while I was up in Connecticut. I desperately wanted to share it with someone, so I turned to Facebook and did a live event. I was bawling, snot everywhere, and it was a most satisfying moment. More than 9,000 people have seen it so far on Facebook, but most important, Alan was able to see it, and I now have a record for myself forever. Q: The book came out in April. What are you looking forward to as it hits the shelves? A: What I’m looking forward to most is that it’s finally out in the world, and it now goes from being my book to a reader’s book. Q: You grew up in Fall River, MA, right outside of Providence. What was the town like in the ‘60s and how much has changed there over the years? A: Back then, my entire world was Brownell Street, where I lived until I was six. Fall River was a small city where neighborhoods, and what defined them, were important. We never roamed more

than a block in any direction, because we had no need. Another thing I loved was that every neighbor looked upon all of us kids as their own, so we were always cared for, always looked after. Today, I think the concept of such small neighborhoods is gone.The city is larger, more diverse, more mobile, which is wonderful. It’s more like what Providence was in the early ‘60s. Q: What was it like sitting down to write such a personal book? How did you manage that effort, while also taking care of yourself? A: It was exhilarating, exhausting, scary. I was mortified my first day at my desk, December 8, 2014. I had absolutely no idea how to write a memoir, let alone what ended up being a 113,000-word manuscript. The longest article I’d written was a 6,000-word piece for the Chicago Sun-Times. On top of that, I thought I had long ago dealt with the more painful parts of the book, like coming out and grappling with mental illness. But I was caught off guard more times than I thought possible. And I wish I could say that took good care of myself, but I didn’t. My eating was poor, my sleep disturbed, I worried constantly, and I isolated myself in our country home for two years. The fact I was still standing when I finished the book was miraculous .Q: The fans of your site Leite’s Culinaria (LCcooks.com) will be thrilled to meet you at your book events. You launched it over 18 years ago, so there must be readers you’ve heard from for a long time. Are you hoping to meet some of them in real life?

A: I am. That’s one of the most exciting parts of live events. When my cookbook, The New Portuguese Table, was published, I got to speak to people at events who I’d corresponded with for years. Plus, my blog is so personal, that even readers with whom I’d never communicated felt they knew me, and asked after my parents, Alan, Rory (AKA Devil Cat), which felt quite special. Q: Your sense of humor shines through in this book. How important is humor to you and why did you choose to make parts of “Notes on a Banana” so laugh-out-loud funny? A: Humor is very important to me. It’s what helped me get through some extremely difficult times in my life.Without humor, I’m not sure I’d be here writing this because it helped me cope. And humor was equally important to include in the book. First, it reflected my life—I’m funny! But also, I knew I needed to give readers a break, a moment to laugh before the roller coaster of manic depression took its next plunge. It helped to give a sense of the ups and downs I experienced. Q: Part of the book tracks your journey of coming out as gay, which was a long, tough process for you. Can you talk a bit about that? A: Remember, I was born in the Pleistocene Age of 1960, so when I was coming of age, it was the mid-seventies. Being gay wasn’t something anyone spoke about, unless in derisive, hateful terms. I had no role models except the actor Paul Lynde and a pedophile neighbor. So, I was mortified.

Options | May 2017

I couldn’t imagine growing up to be a gay man. As a result, I was in and out of the closet for years. I even went so far as to get involved with a cult in New York City, Aesthetic Realism, whose biggest claim was they changed gay men and women straight. Q: Can you please describe what your experience was like there? A: It was degrading, hurtful, and terribly destructive. I had what they call “consultations” with three men who had changed themselves. “Consulting” has such a gracious connotation. Throughout these consultations, the men criticized me with “goodwill.” They kept telling me it was for my own good, that they cared for me, but it felt like an attack, an endless threeon-one verbal assault. My whole social life shrunk down to Aesthetic Realism, fellow students, and programs at their foundation. When I finally had enough and walked away after two years, I was shunned by every single person I knew there. I lost all my “friends.”The foundation no longer offer consultations to change, and most, if not all, of the men I knew who had supposedly changed their sexual orientation went back to their natural state: gay. And with conversion therapy a topic in the news these days, I find it very disturbing. Q: After this, you met your partner, Alan. How did you meet? A: Well, long before Tinder and Grindr, there were the analog versions: newspapers and magazines! I placed a personal ad in New York titled “Gay White Male Seeks Balance.” (Little did I know then how prescient that title was, being manic depressive but not knowing it at the time.) Our first date started terribly. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and catch the end of Murphy Brown. But we both had a change of heart, and we’ve been together for 24 years, which is something like 64 years in straight years.

Options | May 2017

Q: “Notes on a Banana.” It’s the perfect title. When you were a kid, your mom would write you notes of encouragement and love on the banana with your breakfast. What did that mean to you then? A: Back then, I thought it was just one of the wacky and creative things my mom did for me. I appreciated her notes: “We love you!” “God Bless!” “Do well in school today!” “You’re a champ!” (My mother is overly fond of exclamation points.) But it was only later in life did I realize how much that tradition meant to me. Her notes were like daily affirmations, something I could unconsciously hold onto. And now, because of the book title, so many people are writing notes of their own on bananas! Q: Yes, I saw that on social media. How have your mother’s notes turned into The Banana Project? A: To honor my mom, and what she tirelessly did for me, I created The Banana Project. I’m asking folks to take a banana, write a note of love, encouragement, hope—whatever—take a picture, and post the shot on social media with #NotesOnABanana. We’re planning on collecting the images and creating a big digital quilt. I’m hoping that it becomes a movement—something that is synonymous with love.

Q: Mental health has come a long way since the ‘70s. But you wrote of how incredibly frustrating, painful, and confusing it was as a kid to know that something was wrong and not be able to name it. Often, adults write off these kinds of things as “moody” or “kids being kids,” etc. When were you diagnosed at thirty-six as having manic depression, it must have been, “Aha! So that’s what was going on.” Can you describe what that was like? A: It was one of the most important moments of my life. I felt vindicated, and at the same time, I was deeply relieved. Now that I knew what was wrong with me, I could go about finding ways of coping and embracing this diagnosis. Q: What do you want your readers to take away from your book? A: I want them to know they’re not alone. Whether their challenge is being bullied, coming out, dealing with food issues, or mental illness, they have someone who has gone through the same things. There is nothing more demoralizing and hopeless than feeling you’re not understood. Q: What advice would you give to your younger self? A: The same thing the famous campaign aimed at GLBT youth says:“It gets better.” q

Come meet David Leite on May 16 at Point Street Reading Series. The doors open at 7pm and the event begins at 7:30.There is a $5 cover collected at the door. Also reading on May 16 are: Boris Fishman, Lauren Grodstein, Jamie Brenner, and Leah Carroll. Books are sold by Brown Bookstore. For more information please email robin@ readingwithrobin.com and find us on Facebook – Point Street Reading Series.

MONTREAL by Bradford Greer

ost small groups have a social organizer – one who puts together dinner parties, birthdays, and trips. Greg Wright, the Foster Care Program Manager for R.I. Child and Family Service is the “Cruise Director” for his small group of gay running buddies and he agreed to share with me some of his thoughts about traveling to one of his favorite destinations: Montreal. “It’s very easy to get to either by air or by car,” says Greg, “and going through customs is a breeze.There are so many wonderful places to stay.” There are about 200 places to stay including hotels, guest houses and airBnBs, ranging from one to five stars, all within a short distance from St. Catherine Street. (St. Catherine Street is is the main city center boulevard for shopping and entertainment.) “You really have your choice, depending on what you need. Usually we just want a comfortable place to sleep and change clothes,” says Greg.

Montreal. You can purchase a “Passport MTL” which allows you entrance to 27 attractions in Montreal during a 72-hour period. Shoppers will not be disappointed with a huge array of shops, department stores, and boutiques galore – all along St. Catherine Street. Looking for cuisine? Whatever your palate, you can feast on the finest French cuisine or dine and dash at McDonald’s.

There are places to see like NotreDame Basilica, Bonsecours Market, Place Jacques Cartier, and Montreal’s City Hall in Old Montreal, the center of the city’s historical and cultural heritage. The Basilica is breathtaking. The first recorded gay business was Moise Tellier’s Apple and Cake Shop in Montreal, dating all the way back to 1869. For the less historical, there is the underground Montreal, which connects the subway systems to hotels and stores, all of which are located underground. Greg tells a story of a local he met who travels from work to his home, even stopping to do his shopping, all underground! What a handy and warm convenience during the icy cold winters. How many of us would dream of a situation like that on a frosty New England day?

In Greg’s experience, most of the people speak English and it is easy to make yourself understood without the burden of a foreign language, always a plus when traveling to a different country. This is not to say that a French-English dictionary wouldn’t come in handy so you don’t inadvertently tell a desk clerk you wish to take a shower with him or her.

Visit the Botanical or Japanese Gardens, the Museum of Contemporary Art, the Montreal Tower Observatory (the tallest incline tower in the world), the Grevin Wax Museum, and especially the Observation Deck Au Sommet Place Ville Marie, known for its stunning views of

Most people seem to be very friendly in Montreal. According to Greg, “There’s not a lot of attitude there. We’ve had lots of good experiences conversing with people we didn’t know and had just met. We’re all so outgoing. I think people look at us and think, ‘they look like a fun group’. I think that’s what attracts people to us. We are actually having a good time. We are not looking to hook up. We are there to meet people and enjoy each other’s company.” No LGBTQ’s visit would be complete without a visit to the Gay Village. Prominently on display on St. Catherine’s Street, the Beaudry subway entrance at one end is adorned with Rainbow Pillars. “Le Village de l’Est” (The East Village) got

its name from a bar owner who once lived in New York City and wanted to develop a community such as he saw in the East Village of Manhattan. It was his intention to differentiate the area from the traditional downtown scene. The Village, as it is commonly known, became the heart of Montreal’s LGBTQ center. It hosts Le Festival International de Montréal en Arts, the Black and Blue Party, and boasts an enviable nightlife of bars, nightclubs, and restaurants. Fierte Montreal or Montreal Pride is a year-round activity that began in 2007 and defends LGBTQ rights, seeking to celebrate cultural and social advances of the community. One of the major events is the Montreal Pride Parade on the major Rene Levesque Boulevard. Last year 2.4 million people participated. All levels of the government aggressively promote gay tourism. The government so embraces the community that from August 10-20 of this year, the festival’s special edition “Canadian Pride” will be featured as part of the official programing of Montreal’s and Canada’s 150th anniversary celebrations. Montreal is a wonderful destination. It’s easy to get to, has lots of places to see, provides opportunities for shopping, offers great food, and has reasonably priced places to stay. So telephone, e-mail, Facebook, Snapchat, or tweet your cruise director to plan your next vacation. The exchange rate is in your favor. q

Options | May 2017

HAVE BALL, WILL TRAVEL

By Nina Mach

What’s a straight, middle-aged woman who never bowled doing in a gay bowling league? It started when the call came a few years ago. “Would you like to join a gay bowling league?” “Well, I’m not gay and I don’t bowl, but sure.” And that’s how I learned about Big Gay Al’s Bowling League. Now entering its eighteenth year, the league was started in 2000 by a small group of friends who loved bowling. In the following years it grew to 32 teams, which makes it the largest gay bowling league in the country.

Started as a way to offer the LGBTQ community a night out that didn’t involve dancing and clubs, the organizers also thought it would be a good way to donate to AIDS-related causes. Over the years, Big Gay Al’s Bowling has donated more than $80,000 to AIDS Care Project Rhode

Options | May 2017

Island, AIDS Care Ocean State, Options Magazine, PFLAG, Marriage Equality Rhode Island,Youth Pride Inc., and RI Pride. Bowlers pay $15 a week (and $2 more will take care of your shoe rental if you don’t have your own) and the league is held at Town Hall Lanes in Johnston. Food and drink are available every week. Plus there is a pizza night, as well as a really fun end of season party. This year the league will start on Tuesday, May 23, at 7:30. Play will run through mid-August.Teams of four compete against each other in a race to the win. If you don’t have a team, don’t let that stop you The organization will put together teams from single bowlers and they get to name their new team. Players get pretty creative with the naming process too. Previous years have seen teams such as Spare Me, Gutter

Done, Babes in Boyland, Britney Spares , Striking Back, and Every Pin Counts. If you’re not a great bowler, or not a bowler at all, that’s ok. The league welcomes bowlers of all abilities, ranging from 18 to 80 years of age. If interested, please contact us on Facebook at Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Bowling League or by emailing biggayalbowling@aol.com On a personal note, being in the league has been great. I’ve made lots of new friends and now enjoy attending AIDS Care Ocean State’s Drag Bingo, RI Pride’s PrideFest, the Providence Gay Men’s Chorus shows, and a monthly card night with people that I met at bowling. So, to answer the original question about what I’m doing in a gay bowling league, I’m having a ball! q

Spring

into the new season and leave anxiety behind!

By Matthew Boucher, LICSW LCDP

Many of us are recovering from seasonal affective disorder and looking forward to the energy brought by spring. We often make our resolutions at the start of the year and if you are like most, have already given up on them. However, this is the best time of the year to make changes. The season reminds us we can clear out the old and bring in the new.

Here are some ways to leave anxiety behind with the darkness of winter.

Stay in the present. Another place anxiety lives is in the future and the past. Ask yourself this, have you ever successfully gone to either? Have you ever successfully changed the past? How many future catastrophes have you imagined that never came to pass? When we are in those two places we are not in the present moment and this also contributes to anxiety. Stay focused on what you are doing and only what you are doing. Example: if you are driving, just drive.

3 5 “ 6 4 Socialize. We are social creatures and thrive with interactions. Make a point to talk to one person a day. Hug a friend, relative, partner, or pet. Join a group or a team.

Change the negative inner dialogue to something positive.

“

Breathe. Go outside and smell the fresh air. Often when we become anxious we are holding our breath. We have become conditioned to do this subconsciously. Try standing up or sitting down. Or when you start the car, shift gears, lift weights,and many other times – Did you notice you held your breath? This unconscious act leads us to become more anxious. Make a point to be aware of it. Go outside each morning and identify at least three different things you can smell each day.

Be adventurous. Try something you would not normally do. Go to a new restaurant and try a different food. Drive to a town you have never seen before. Pack a lunch and have a picnic with a friend at the beach.

Take a media break. We can become bogged down with all the media sensationalism, which is often negative. Turn it off, even if it is for a few days. Not much will change and if anything critical happens you will hear it from your friends and family. Tell people you are doing a media purge and ask them not to talk to you about this, unless it is imperative. You will most likely feel better. Reward yourself. Change the negative inner dialogue to something positive. We tend to focus on the negative and worry about what other people are thinking about us. Remember in your world the most important person is you. Be kind to yourself daily. Each time you complete something: small as cleaning the house or a huge accomplishment like starting to write that book you’ve always dreamed of, remind yourself; “I did an amazing job today and I am worth it!” q

Options | May 2017

PASSAGES

Ralph Martino, a Rhode Island icon as an interior designer, educator, party planner, and event planner, departed us for a final unscheduled event on March 3, with his devoted brother Richard Martino, Sr., and nephew Richard Martino, Jr., at his side.

Ralph Martino

Ralph’s amazing career began with a downtown Providence clothing store’s display windows and ended with the designing of homes on a worldwide basis. His designs brought him acclaim and respect from his peers, and his work has been featured in local and national publications. As a self-taught exciting (and impeccably dressed) designer, his entrance caused every head in a room to turn. He gave fully of his time and talents, frequently hosting charity events for area hospitals and churches. Fluent in Italian, he was responsible for the uniting of families old and young. He was also one of the original founders of the Imperial Court

of Rhode Island, of which he was a proud and dedicated member. Ralph was the son of the late Ralph Martino and Philomena DeAngelis Martino. He was preceded in death by his sisters Sara Martino, Barbara Giarusso, and Amelia Marsella Ramirez. He leaves a brother, Richard J. Martino, Sr. of New Jersey, nephew Richard J. Martino Jr. , sisterin-law Christine A. Martino, and another brother, Edward Martino, of Johnston, R.I., along with many nieces and nephews. The last curtain call for Ralph was at the Anderson-Winfield Funeral Home, Route 44 at Greenville Common, Greenville. A Mass of Christian Burial was held in his memory in St. Phillips Church. Burial followed in St. Anne’s Cemetery. Donations in Ralph’s memory may be made to Imperial Court of RI, PO Box 6583, Providence, RI 02940. q

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By Haley Star Growing up in such an inclusive state as Rhode Island and living in the Providence area for much of my adult life, I often take for granted the fact that travel to another city may not always be as glamorously inclusive as Little Rhody. While the LGBTQ-friendly movement has made incredible progress through the years, there are still many places and areas of cities that do not welcome those from our community. Shocking as it may seem, it is sadly true. One of the best suggestions I can make is do your research before traveling. Even if you are headed to a major city, know the areas and know where the LGBT friendly zones are. Many times, these are right next to the not-solovely areas of a city and you need to be aware of your surroundings. I can remember one of the first times I traveled to a larger city and took a walk over to the gay section of town. I had to go through one of the rougher neighborhoods of the city. Doing so in cut-off shorts, a slim-fitting neon tank top, and crisp white high top Converse was probably not the best choice (I

to Your Travel Plans! feared for my life when glares were shot at me, showing the utmost disapproval for my presence in the area) but I stood my ground and kept sashaying through. Eventually, I made it – unharmed – to the conglomeration of queens sipping their fruity beverages. The point is, had I been prepared and known my surroundings ahead of time, I could have avoided the discomfort and potentially dangerous situation. Being overly prepared is better than walking into a new city blind. If you know what to expect and where to be, you’re sure to have a much more positive experience. On another note, I highly recommend travelling to the gay mecca of cities: Provincetown, Massachusetts. This is truly the happiest place on Earth. Everyone walks around with a smile on their face, greeting one another as they trot down Commercial Street, the main drag. If you’ve never been, make it a “must-do” this summer. I can promise that you won’t be disappointed. Whether lounging by the pool, lying on the beach,

or dancing until the sun comes up, there is something for everyone. The town is incredibly family friendly and when firsttimers go there, they end up making it an annual tradition because they instantly fall in love. If traveling isn’t in your budget, then stay right here in Providence and make a little staycation weekend for yourself. There is so much to do right here in our own backyard, and we forget how blessed we are to enjoy the local surroundings. We have gondola rides during Waterfire and, historic walking tours. Really, there are endless things to entertain you right here – and don’t forget the amazing cuisine. Being the Glambassador for the wonderful city of Providence has opened my eyes to so many amazing things that some residents just take for granted. I suggest you take some time this summer and travel around your own city. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll find. Check out www.goprovidence.com to see all of what you’re missing in our amazing Capital City. q

Options | May 2017

YOUTH VOICE

traveling WITH TEENS

By Jonathan Izzard

I just went on trip with my school band. In fact, the trip was for the school’s concert band, wind ensemble, string orchestra, and chamber choir. So; it was a lot of kids. So many that we filled two coach buses and two full floors of a hotel. Having a hotel stay meant having to room overnight with others. Were they of the same gender as me? Yes, yes, they were.Were they also gay? No they were not. I know, some people have awful things happen to them due to their sexuality, and some of these concerns crossed my mind before the trip. If you are anything like me, you’re pretty open and proud about yourself. Other people, being insecure about who they are, may go to the point of bullying you about who you are. And sometime, it can even be your friends; people throw nasty jokes your way, intentionally or otherwise. But, we have to remember that a lot of the issues depend on the cards that we are dealt. Everyone has their own story, and their own bias, and their own background; not everyone has the same experiences. The way we cope with them is up to us. We have to deal with what is thrown at us in that very moment.

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The outcome of a trip like this with peers largely depends on your mindset and outlook. If you go into it thinking it’s going to be the worst experience possible, and that people will mock you, you may subconsciously create situations for yourself where these negative occurrences happen. Yet if you go in with a positive and open-minded attitude, then you are far more likely to get a positive outcome. That’s easy to say, and hard to do, because situations are influenced by the the people around you too. Just remember, you cannot control them, you can only control your own attitude. Luckily for me, I was fine. The people I roomed with were very respectful and non-discriminatory, and I know I went into it with the right mindset. So if you are a high school student, and you are nervous about going for an overnight with your peers for an extended amount of time, consider your confidence levels. Are you going to be loud and proud about who you are? I love me. And you should love yourself as well! q

OUT ON THE TOWN

CORONATION XXV:THE SILVER JUBILEE Saturday, April 1 - The Providence Biltmore Grand Ballroom, Providence Photos by Jen Bonin

CORONATION XXV PART II Saturday, April 8 - The Dark Lady, Providence Photos by Jen Bonin

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EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL: 2017 TRIPLE CROWN PAGEANT Sunday, April, 9 - The Colosseum, Providence Photos by Jen Bonin

EASTER RISE:TEA & BUNNY Sunday, April 16 - Rooftop at the Providence G Photos by Jen Bonin

Options | May 2017

OUT ON THE TOWN

AIDS WALK FOR LIFE Sunday, April 23 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Rhode Island State House Photos by Ryan Clarke

PROVIDENCE PLATINUM SOFTBALL TEAM FUNDRAISER Sunday, April 23 -- The Stable Providence Photos by Jen Bonin

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RESOURCES Options originated in 1982 as the offical newsletter of the Rhode Island Gay Task Force. Editor Jos Fayette explained, “The RIGTF wants to make the homosexual community aware of their options as gay men and women in Rhode Island. And it’s only because we live, work, love, and play in this state that there are such a large number of options available to all of us.” Options has always, and will continue to print LGBTQ resources so that you can, as Fayette went on to say, “Exercise your OPTIONS

Addiction Support Groups AA Brothers in Sobriety: Saturday 7:30pm. 372 Wayland Avenue, Providence. 751-9328. AddictionCenter.com: Web information guide for addiction resources nationwide. Or call 1-877-830-2915. Alcohol/Drug Helpline: RI Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence. 24hr. (866) 252-3784. RI LGBT AA Group: Tuesdays 7 -- 8 pm Bell Street Chapel, 5 Bell St., Providence, 273-5678. All are welcome. Seven Hills Behavioral Health: Addiction support services and Narcan. 1173 Acushnet Avenue, New Bedford, MA, 508999-4159. 310 S. Main Street, Fall River, MA, 508-235-1012. Leonard Amaral, Program Manager, lamaral@sevenhills.org. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: 12-step program. Fridays at 7pm. Providence Presbyterian Church, 500 Hope Street, Providence, side entrance, downstairs to the left. Gay, but all are welcome. YPQT (Young People Queer, Trans) meeting of AA. Fridays 7:30 -- 8:30pm., Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, 250 Main St., Pawtucket. 489-5513.

AIDS/Health Resources

Afia Center for Health & Wholeness: Meals, food pantry, HIV support groups, recreational and social activities. Sponsored by AIDS Project RI. Free to clients.. Wed. and Thurs. 12 -- 3pm. 134 Mathewson St., Providence. John Fruscella, 831-5522, Ext. 3835. AIDS Action Hotline: MA only. (800) 235-2331. www.aac.org. AIDS Care Ocean State: Confidential HIV & Hep C testing, safersex supplies, case management, emergency funds, clinical services, assisted and supportive housing for people living with HIV/AIDS, street outreach, ENCORE, HIV+ support groups. Speaker’s Bureau, 18 Parkis Ave., Providence. 521-3603 (call 781-0665 to schedule an appointment). www.aidscareos.org. AIDS Project RI: Division of Family Service of RI. Case management, buddies, COBRA and dental services, emergency fund, mental health counseling, nutrition support, assessment and referral, wellness programs, advocacy, strength training, prevention education, HIV testing. 9 Pleasant Street, Providence. 831-5522 www.aidsprojectri.org. AIDS Quilt RI: Displays local AIDS memorial quilt panels, panel-

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today to make positive changes in your life tomorrow.”

Help us help you! Email info@optionsri.org if you come across a resource listing that needs updating. New, updated, and featured resources are highlighted. Phone numbers are in the 401 area code and addresses are in Rhode Island, unless otherwise indicated.

making programs including Anna’s Workshop, HIV/AIDS education for young people. PO Box 2591, Newport. 434-4880. admin@ aidsquiltri.org. www.aidsquiltri.org. Brown University AIDS Program: Clinical trials, public policy, research, lectures, conferences, patient and community education. 121 South Main Street, Second Floor, Providence. 863-6790. brunap@brown.edu. brown.edu/Departments/BRUNAP. Community Care Alliance: Case management, support, personal care items for people living with HIV/AIDS in northern Rhode Island. 245 Main Street, Woonsocket. 235-6092. lcohen@famresri.org. Comprehensive Community Action Programs: Medical, mental health, dental, social services, LGBT outreach. 311 Doric Avenue, Cranston. Also Coventry, Pawtucket, and Warwick. 467-9610. Gabriel Care, LLC: Nursing/social worker case management and financial compensation for assistance and supervision for those living with HIV. MassHealth funded for MA residents. 376 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. Contact Jenn, (508) 678-1002. HIV Antibody Testing: Anonymous. Free or sliding scale. RI Department of Health. Providence, Newport and other locations. 222-2320. Home and Hospice Care of RI: Medical care management for HIV/AIDS. 24hr nursing staff for treatment. 1085 North Main Street, Providence. Referrals: 782-0725. Bereavement groups: Contact John Charette, 727-7079. Main Office: 415-4200 or toll-free 800-3386555. www.hhcri.org. House of Compassion: HIV/AIDS housing. 2510 Mendon Road, Cumberland. 658-3992. LGBT Caregiver Online Support Group: For LGBTs caring for someone with chronic health problems. www.caregiver.org Luis E. Martinez House CHS, Inc.: Supportive, permanent housing for 10 adults living with HIV/AIDS and/or substance abuse. New Bedford, MA. Contact Joe Taylor. (508) 984-7514. Miriam Hospital HIV & STD Testing Clinic: For gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, HIV, Hep C, and trichomoniasis. Linking to physicians for PrEP. Wed. -- Fri. 12:30 -- 3:30. 1125 N. Main St., Providence (rear of building). 793-4715 Partners in Learning About AIDS: Outreach to minorities, women of color, and LGBT community at clubs and other locations. North Providence office provides free condoms and information about STIs and post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV. 1006 Charles Street, Suite 5, North Providence. 484-7523. info@plaidsproject.org.

www.plaidsproject.org Planned Parenthood of So. New England: Confidential, lowcost, same-day & walk-in STD and HIV testing. Commonsense approach to health. 111 Point St., Providence. 800-230-7526. www.ppsne.org. Prima CARE Transgender Clinic: Fall River, MA. Counseling, hormonal reassignment, referrals for surgery. Kishore Lakshman, MD. 508-235-0481. Seven Hills HIV Prevention & Screening: TWIST program, HIV and STI prevention and testing, partner care. 1173 Acushnet Avenue, New Bedford, MA, 508-999-4159. 310 S. Main Street, Fall River, MA, 508-235-1012. Contact Leonard Amaral, lamaral@sevenhills.org. SSTAR (Stanley Street Treatment & Resources): Counseling, drug treatment, detox, domestic violence programs, free and confidential HIV, HEP C, and STD testing, education, case management and support. MA and RI locations. 386 Stanley Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 679-5222. Project Aware (HIV/HCV); (508) 324-3561. Family Healthcare Center; (508) 675-1054. www.sstar.org. Steppingstone, Inc.: Welcome Home Medical case management program. One-on-one peer support in Somerset to Wareham area. HIV support groups available. Free and open to any HIV+ person 18+. 5 Dover Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 984-7514. www.steppingstoneinc.org. Tranquil Mind & Wellness: Counseling, alternative healing, yoga, Pilates, meditation.109 Rhode Island Road, Lakeville, MA. (508) 9471683. www.tranquilmind.net. Thundermist Health Center: Provides HIV/AIDS services including medical care and treatment by an HIV specialist, dental care, behavioral health counseling, nutritional assessment and counseling, pharmacy consultation, free and confidential HIV testing. 450 Clinton Street,Woonsocket. Contact Philip Kane. 767-4100 ext. 3516.

Information/Education The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health: Education, pleasure, health, advocacy. Tues. -- Sat. 12 -- 6 and by appointment. 250 Main Street, Unit 1, Pawtucket. 489-5513. www.thecsph.org. Fenway Community Center LGBT Helpline: Support, information and referrals. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston. Open daily 6-11pm. (617) 267-9001 or 888-340-452 GLBT National Help Center Hotline: Local resources nationwide provided by social services agency. 888-843-4564. www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org. Newport Out: LGBT website for Newport. www.newportout.com. RILGBT-News: Low-volume email distribution list for LGBT & AIDS news from RI. Not a discussion list. To subscribe: tinawood@cox.net. South Coast LGBTQ Network: Information & advocacy network for individuals of all ages. 774-371-0711. info@ sclgbtqnetwork.org. www.sclgbtqnetwork.org. United Way of RI Referral Line: 2-1-1 on your telephone.

Nightlife The Alley Cat Providence: Downtown neighborhood bar. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday 3pm-2am, Saturday 2pm2am, Sunday 2pm-1am. 19 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. Bobby’s Place: Dancing, pool, video lounge, karaoke. SundayWednesday 5pm-1am, Thursday-Saturday 5pm-2am. 62 Weir Street, Taunton, MA. (508) 824-9997. www.bobbysplacema.com. Brooklyn Coffee Tea House: 209 Douglas Ave., Providence: public/private venue for music, art, film screenings, weddings, showers, etc. RHODYWOOD@yahoo.com; 359-0192. Club Body Center: Gay men’s sauna. Membership required. One-day pass available. Open 24hr. 257 Weybosset Street, Providence. 274-0298. www.cbcresorts.com. The Dark Lady: Downtown bar and nightclub. TuesdayThursday 9pm-1am, Friday & Saturday 9pm-3am, Sunday 9pm1am. 17 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. EGO: Providence’s newest gay nightlife performance/event space. Sunday and Thursday 9pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 10pm-3am, 73 Richmond St, Providence. 383-1208. www.egopvd.com. Indigo Lounge: 599 Tiogue Ave, Coventry RI 02816. Breakfast buffet, specialty pizzas, T Dances, live entertainment, karaoke Thurs. Hours vary, closed Mon. www.indigopizza.com. Mirabar: Downtown bar and nightclub. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 3pm-2am, Sunday 3pm-1am. 15 Elbow Street, Providence. 331-6761. www.mirabar.com. Providence Eagle: Leather, Levi, bear cruise bar. MondayThursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday-Sunday 12pm2am. 124 Snow Street, Providence. 421-1447. The Stable: Downtown video bar. No cover. Monday-Thursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday 12pm-2am, Sunday 12pm1am. 125 Washington Street, Providence. 272-6950. The Village: Downtown Providence’s newest LGBT owned and operated restaurant and live entertainment venue. Lunch & dinner Wednesday through Sunday for varying hours. 373 Richmond St. 228-7222, www.thevillageri.com

Political & Legal Groups American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): 128 Dorrance Street, Suite 220, Providence. 831-7171. riaclu.org. Amnesty International OUTfront: Program to campaign globally for LGBTQ human rights. (212)807-8400. Cvohs18904@yahoo.com. www.amnestyusa.org. Brown University Queer Alliance: Student advocacy and support organization. queer@brown.edu. Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD): LGBT/ HIV legal info hotline. Weekdays 1:30-4:30pm. 30 Winter Street, Suite 800, Boston, MA. (617) 436-1350 or (800) 455-GLAD. gladlaw@glad.org www.GLAD.org. Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund: 120 Wall Street, Suite 1500, NY. (212) 809-8585. www.lambdalegal.org. Lawyers for Equality and Diversity (LEAD): Advocates for LGBT causes. lawyersforequality@gmail.com.

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National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Assoc./New England: Works for fair and accurate media coverage of LGBT issues. info@nlgja.org, www.nlgja.org. The Next Thing (TNT): Political and support group for queer people of color located at Brown University. 863-3062. tnt@brown.edu. RI Commission on Prejudice and Bias: Hate crime awareness training program. www.hatecrimeri.org. RI Socialist Action: 952-5385, adgagneri@gmail.com. Spanish: 351-3514, walsil@cox.net. RI Human Rights Commission: Anti-discrimination law enforcement agency with jurisdiction in employment, housing, public accommodations, and credit. 180 Westminster Street, 3rd floor, Providence. 222-2662 TTY: 222-2664, richr.ri.gov. Scouts for Equality: An organization composed largely of Boy Scouts of America alumni dedicated to ending the BSA’s ban on gay members and leaders. Contact Carol Crowther. ccrowther1@gmail.com. Facebook.com/riscoutsforequality. Servicemembers Legal Defense Network: Serving LGBT military personnel and veterans. PO Box 65301, Washington DC. (202) 328-3244. or (800) 538-7418. sldn@sldn.org. www. sldn.org.

Religious & Spiritual All Saints Memorial Church: 674 Westminster Street, Providence. 751-1747. asmcri@verizon.net. www.allsaintsmemorial.org. Amicable Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Pastor William Sterrett. Sunday 10am. 3736 Main Road,Tiverton. 624-4611. amicablechurch@aol.com, www.amicablechurch.org. Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists: robin@awab.org, www.awab.org. Barrington Congregational Church: UCC. “The white church.” Sundays 10am. 461 County Road, Barrington. 246-0111. office@bccucc.org, www.bccucc.org. Bell Street Chapel: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Rev. Margaret Weis. Sundays 10am. 5 Bell Street, Providence. 273-5678. www.bellstreetchapel.org. Beneficent Congregational Church: UCC. An Open & Affirming congregation in the heart of Providence. Sundays 10am. 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. 331-9844. BeneficentChurchUCC@ gmail.com, www.beneficentchurch.org. Berean Baptist Church: A safe and welcoming place for all God’s children. Sunday 10am. 474 Chapel Street, Harrisville. 568-5411. bereanbaptist@verizon.net. www.bereanri.net Calvary United Methodist Church of Middletown: LGBTQ early dementia support group. Contact Amy. Sundays 10:30am. 200 Turner Road, Middletown. 847-6181, www.middletownmethodist.com. Central Congregational Church: UCC. An Opening & Affirming Congregation. Sundays 10:30am. 296 Angell Street, Providence. 3311960. www.centralchurch.us. Channing Memorial Church: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Sundays 10am. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643. administrator@channingchurch.org. www.channingchurch.org. The Chapel of the Holy Spirit: Independent Old Catholic. Fr. Jakob Lazarus. Sunday 9am and 6pm. 155 Douglas Avenue, Providence. 413-4821. www.holyparaclete.org. Charter Oak Grove ADF: An Open andWelcoming Congregation

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of Neo-pagan Druids in CT. charteroakadf@gmail.com, www.charteroakadf.org. Christ Church in Lonsdale: 1643 Lonsdale Avenue, Lincoln. Services 8am and 10:30am. 725-1920. office@christchurchlincoln.org. www.christchurchlincoln.org. Church of the Ascension, 390 Pontiac Ave., Cranston, RI 02910. Sundays at 10am. 461-5811. www.ascensioncranston.org. Church of the Epiphany: A diverse Open & Affirming Episcopal congregation. 1336 Pawtucket Avenue, East Providence. 434-5012. info@epiphanyep.org, www.epiphanyep.org. Church of the Redeemer, a Welcoming Episcopal church. 655 Hope St., Providence. www.redeemerprovidence.org. office@ redeemerprovidence.org. Rev. Patrick Campbell, 331-0678. Concordia Center for Spiritual Living: A diverse community welcoming all spiritual paths to God. Sunday Celebration 9:15am. 292 W. Shore Rd., Warwick. Rev. Ian Taylor, 732-1552. info@concordiachurchri.com. www.ConcordiaCSL.com. Edgewood Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Service 10am. 1788 Broad Street, Cranston. 461-1344. office@edgewoodchurchri.org. www.edgewoodchurchri.org. Emmanuel Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 120 Nate Whipple Highway, Cumberland. 658-1506. office@emmanuelri.org. www.emmanuelri.org. First Unitarian Church: A welcoming congregation. Sunday 10:30am. 1 Benevolent Street, Providence. 421-7970. admin@firstunitarianprov.org, www.firstunitarianprov.org. First Unitarian Church: Service 11am. 71 8th Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 994-9686. admin@uunewbedford.org, www.uunewbedford.org. First Universalist Society: UU. Welcoming congregation. Samegender weddings. 262 Chestnut Street, Franklin, MA. (508) 5285348. fusf@verizon.net, www.fusf.org. Foxboro Universalist Church: UUA. Service 10am. 6 Bird Street, Foxboro, MA. 508-543-4002. chair@uufoxborough.org. www. uufoxborough.org. Grace Episcopal Church in Providence: 175 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-3225. hello@gracechurchprovidence.org. www. gracechurchprovidence.org. Hopedale Unitarian Parish: Sundays 10:30 am. 65 Hopedale St., Hopedale, MA. www.hopedaleunitarian.org, 508-473-0745. Rev. Tony Lorenzen. Immanuel Lutheran Church: A Reconciling in Christ congregation. Pastor Sandra Demmler D’Amico. 647 North Main Street,Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2898. www.immanuellc.org. Interweave at Channing Memorial UU Church: Organization for the spiritual, political and social well-being of LGBTQ persons, and their allies, confronting oppression. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643. Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd: A “Reconciling in Christ” congregation (Welcoming). 3383 Old North Rd., Kingston, RI. Sundays 9 am. Pastor Mary Hansen-Joyce. 7897776; office@goodshepherdri.org Mathewson St. Church: United Methodist. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-8900. MathewsonStUMC@gmail.com. Mercy of God Community: Christian, inclusive religious order. mercycomm@yahoo.com, www.mgc.org. Murray Unitarian Universalist Church: Marriage and commitment ceremonies for all. Rev. Bob McKetchnie. 505 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-0505 www.murrayuuchurch.org.

Newman Congregational Church: Open & Affirming. 100 Newman Avenue, Rumford. 434-4742. www.newmanucc.org. Newport Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Rev. Hayes and Rev. Baker. 73 Pelham Street, Newport. 8492238. Park Place Congregational Church: 71 Park Place, Pawtucket. 726-2800. office@ppucc.necoxmail.com, www. parkplaceucc.com. The Pub Church: An Open & Affirming church that meets in a pub. Location may change. Saturday 5pm. The Dugout, 722 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, MA. thepubchurch@gmail. com. Pilgrim Lutheran Church: An inclusive congregation. Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 1817 Warwick Avenue, Warwick. 739-2937. parishasst@pilgrimlutheranri.org, pilgrimlutheranri.jimdo.com. Pilgrim United Church of Christ: Open and Affirming. 635 Purchase Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)-997-9086. Riverside Church: UCC.15 Oak Avenue, Riverside. Service 10am. 433-2039. www.rcc-ucc.com. St. Augustine’s Church and Episcopal Center at URI: 15 Lower College Road, Kingston. 783-2153. Sundays 8am and 10am. StAugustinesChurch@necoxmail.com, www.staugustineuri.org. St. James Church: Episcopal. 474 Fruit Hill Avenue, North Providence. 353-2079. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 10am. 50 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 751-2141. StMartinsNB. Secretary@gmail.com, www.stmartinsprov.org. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Welcoming Church. Monthly LGBT Eucharist. 136 Rivet Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)9948972. stmartins1887@comcast.com, www.stmartinsma.org. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 9am. 50 Park Place, Pawtucket. 728-4300. office@stpaulspawtucket.org, www.stpaulspawtucket.org. St. Paul’s Church: A welcoming Episcopal church. Sundays 9am. 2679 East Main Street, Portsmouth. 683-1164. stpaulsportsmouthri.org. St. Peter & St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church: 25 Pomona Avenue, Providence. 272-9649.stpanda25@verizon.net. www.stpeters-standrews.org. Saint Therese Old Catholic Church: Open & Affirming. Fr. David Martins. Sunday 10:30am. 1500 Main St., W. Warwick, RI 02893. 680-9076. stocc134@gmail.com, www.saintthereseocc.org. Second Congregational Church of Attleboro: UCC. Open & Affirming. 50 Park Street, Attleboro, MA. Sunday 10am. (508) 222-4677. office2nd@verizon.net. www.attleborosecondchurch. org. Seekonk Congregational Church: Open & Affirming. Sundays 9 and 10:30am. Rev. Joy Utter, 600 Fall River Ave., Seekonk, MA. (508) 336-9355. sccucc@verizon.net. www.scc-ucc.com. Soka Gakkai: Buddhist association for peace, culture, and education. Contact for weekly meetings in Providence. 930 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston. (617) 264-2000. www.sgi-usa.org. Temple Agudas Achim: Reconstructionist congregation. 901 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2243. office@agudasma.org, www.agudasma.org. Temple Beth-El: Rabbi Sarah E. Mack. 70 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 331-6070. info@temple-beth-el.org, www.temple-beth-el.org.

Temple Emanu-El: A welcoming Conservative congregation. Rabbi Wayne Franklin. 99 Taft Avenue, Providence. 331-1616. info@teprov.org, www.teprov.org. Temple Habonim: A warm, Welcoming Reform congregation. Rabbi Andrew Klein. 165 New Meadow Road, Barrington. 2456536. office@templehabonim.org, www.templehabonim.org. Temple Sinai: A Welcoming Reform temple. Rabbi Jeff Goldwasser, 30 Hagen Avenue, Cranston. 942-8350. webmaster@templesinairi.org, www.templesinairi.org. Unitarian Church in Fall River: Sunday 10:30am. 309 North Main Street, Fall River, MA. 508-678-9700. office@unitarianchurchfr.org, www.unitarianchurchfr.org. Unitarian Universalist Society of Fairhaven: Service 10:30am. 102 Green Street, Fairhaven, MA. (508) 992-7081. www.uufairhaven.org. Unitarian Universalist Congregation of South County: 27 North Road, Peace Dale. 783-4170 or Val 789-7282. uucscri@ yahoo.com. www.uusouthcountyri.org. United Congregational Church, 524 Valley Rd., Middletown RI 02842. A Welcoming congregation. Sunday, 10 am. www.UCCMiddletown.org. 849-5444. Westminster Unitarian Universalist Church: A UUA Welcoming Congregation. 119 Kenyon Avenue, East Greenwich. 884-5933. www.westminsteruu.org.

Social Organizations

Bisexual Resource Center: PO Box 170796, Boston, MA. (617) 4249595. brc@bicresource.net www.biresource.net. Biversity Boston: Mixed-gender social events for Boston and the surrounding area. (617) 424-9595. biversity-subscribe@biversity.org, www.biversity.org. Boston Bisexual Women’s Network: Social activities including monthly brunches, coming out groups and quarterly newsletter “Bi Woman Quarterly.” www.biwomenboston.org. Cape and Islands Gay & Straight Youth Alliance (CIGSYA): 56 Barnstable Road, Hyannis, MA. (508) 778-7744. info@cisgsya.org, www.cigsya.org. Communisong: For unity through song. Non-performance monthly singing session. www.communisong.net. Gay Men’s Social Group: FirstTuesdays,6 -- 9pm,Seven Hills Behavioral Health, 1177 Acushnet Ave., New Bedford, MA. Refreshments. Info: Lenny Amaral, 508-999-4159 or lamaral@sevenhills.org. Imperial Court of RI at Providence: Drag and non-drag performers raise funds for local charities. All welcome to general membership meetings on first Monday at Dark Lady, 17 Snow Street, Providence. icri.prov@gmail.com. www.icriprov.org. Mixed Borders Gardening Group: Gardening and more. Monthly meetings, all welcome. Mixedborders@cox.net. www.mixedborders.com. Opera Club: Enjoy hearing and attending. Last Sunday of each month at 1pm. BrettCornellpi4@aol.com. Providence Gay Men’s Chorus: New season rehearsals begin in January and August. Singers and non-singing volunteers welcome. Monday 7-9:30pm. Beneficent Church, 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. www.provgmc.org. Queer Book Club: 3rd Wednesday, 7pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence, queerbookclub@gmail.com.

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RI Association of Gay Professionals: Networking and philanthropy. www.riagp.com. RI Parents Pride: Gay parents socializing together with their children. Contact Melanie. 464-2288. saphicangel120@yahoo.com. RI Pride: Open house 4th Wednesdays. Festival & Parade 3rd Saturday in June. Office: 1055 Westminster St., Providence 02903. Mail: PO Box 1082, Providence, 02903. 467-2130. info@prideri.com, www.prideri.com. RI Prime Timers: Social and networking group for older gay and bi men. Second Sunday. Call Steve, 996-3010. www.riprimetimers.org. RI Skeptics Society: Yearning to talk with someone rational? Refreshing discussion. Fourth Saturday. East Providence restaurant location. www. meetup.com/skeptics-133/. RI Women’s Association: Lesbian social group. 21+. Dances & events. www.riwa.net SAGE/RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders): Advocacy, education and social events for LGBT seniors. SAGE-RI at CareLink, 1 Virginia Ave., Providence, RI 02905. 443-4451. sageriinfo@gmail.com. www.sage-ri.org. SEMASSMEN: Social group for GBQ men of southeastern MA & RI to foster strong friendships. Semassmen-subscribe@ yahoogroups.com. rlevass@yahoo.com. Smart Monkey Gay Men’s Support Group. Meets twice monthly in Cranston to learn about integrity, intimacy and male roles. Write Paul (ctripaul@yahoo.com) or Steve (43dadzone@gmail.com). South Coast Social Club for Gay & Bisexual Men: Social and networking opportunities for gay & bisexual men in S.E. Mass. www. southeastsocialclub.com. Yankee Lambda Car Club: Regional club for GLBT vintage and specialty car enthusiasts. www.yankeelcc.com.

Sports & Recreation

PrideSports Boston: Network of twenty-plus gay sports leagues/teams in Boston area. www.pridesportsboston.com. Boston Gay BASKETBALL League: ksg.bgbl@gmail.com, www.bgbl.com. BOATING: Yankee Cruising Club, New England’s club for LGBTQ boaters. www.yankeecruising.org. yankeecruisingclub@ gmail.com. Keith (508) 423-6123. Big Gay Al’s Duckpin BOWLING League: Proceeds benefit AIDS causes. Tuesday 6:30pm. 1463 Atwood Avenue, Town Hall Lanes, Johnston. Contact Frank Ferri. 831-6940.www. bgalbowling.com. www.townhalllanes.com. FIELD HOCKEY: Teamworks Somerset, 732 Lee’s River Ave., Somerset, MA. New season every 10 weeks. (508-676-3956) info@teamworkssomerset.com GALA Bowling League: Sundays 5:50 p.m., E. Providence Lanes, 80 Newport Ave., E. Providence. Season begins in Aug. View us on Facebook or email galabowling1990@gmail.com. FLAG (For Lesbians And Gays) FOOTBALL: Bostonbased recreational football club. All skill levels are encouraged to participate. Saturday mornings in the fall and spring. www. flagflagfootball.com. Boston Pride HOCKEY: www.bostonpridehockey.org. Rondeaus KICKBOXING: 272-5425. www. rondeauskickboxing.com.

Options | May 2017

Main Street MARTIAL ARTS: Non-profit. Welcoming dojo and community center. 1282 North Main Street, Providence. 274-7672.www.mainstma.org. Chiltern Mountain Club: OUTDOOR recreation club in New England. events@chiltern.org. www.chiltern.org. Boston Gay ROWERS: Worldwide online community for gay and lesbian rowers, coxies, coaches, and race officials. www.glrf. org. Boston Ironsides RUGBY Football: www.bostonironsides.org. Providence Women’s RUGBY Club: Competitive and recreational. www.providencerugby.com Frontrunners Rhode Island RUNNING Group: Running and walking group. Newcomers welcome. Meet at the end of Blackstone Boulevard at Hope Street, Providence. Thursday 6pm. Contact Brian. 751-7643. bripm@cox.net, frontrunnersri@ gmail.com Frontrunners Boston RUNNING Group: Morning walk/ run along the Charles River. Saturdays,10am. Club Cafe, 209 Columbus Avenue, Boston, MA. www.frontrunnersboston.org. OutRyders SKIING: New England’s largest gay and lesbian ski and snowboard club. www.outryders.org. Boston Strikers SOCCER Club: Non-profit social organization to learn and improve soccer skills in a relaxed, congenial environment. www.bostonstrikers.com. Renaissance City SOFTBALL League: New players and boosters always welcome. www.providencesoftball.org. Beantown SOFTBALL League: Friendly competition. 27 teams in four divisions of play: competitive, intermediate, and recreational. (617) 297-7490. www.beantownsoftball.com. LANES (Liquid Assets New England SWIMMING): Fitness and/or competition. (617) 937-5858. www.swim-lanes.org. TENNIS-4-All: Boston area tennis organization. www. tennis4all.org. Cambridge Boston VOLLEYBALL Association: Players of all skill levels welcome. secretary@cbvolleyball.net www.gayvolleyball.net. Ocean State Pride VOLLEYBALL League: Adult coed indoor league following USVBA rules. No try-outs. Fee applies. Kent County YMCA, 900 Centerville Road, Warwick. ospvolleyball@gmail.com. East Coast WRESTLING Club: (617)937.5858 x6. ecwc@juno.com. www.eastcoastwrestlingclub.org.

Students & Youth Bristol Community College The Lambda Connection: (TLC@BCC) Robert Delaleu, Advisor; BCC-G118, 777 Elsbree St., Fall River, MA (774)357-4056. Brown University Queer Alliance: Umbrella organization at Brown University for LGBTQ groups. 863-3062. queer@brown. edu or lgbtq@brown.edu. CCRI Triangle Alliance: an LGBTQQ student-run group at CCRI, on the Flanagan, Liston, and Knight campuses. www.ccri. edu/triangle/. LGBT National Youth Talkline: 800-246-7743. Private oneto-one chat and info on local resources. Peer Listening Line: Youth-staffed hotline for GLBT youth. Support, info and referrals. 5-10pm. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston, MA. (617) 267-9001 or (800) 399-PEER. www. fenwayhealth.org.

Queer & Trans Thursdays: 6-8pm. Space for LGBTQ and heterosexual youth (24 and under) of color to foster coalitionbuilding and organize to address intersections of oppressions. 669 Elmwood Ave., Rm. B7, Providence. www.prysm.us. 383-7450. Salve Regina University – The Alliance: 100 Ochre Point Avenue, Newport. Contact: Benjamin Mead, benjamin.mead@ salve.edu S.H.E.P.A.R.D. (Stopping Homophobia, Eliminating Prejudices and Restoring Dignity): Providence College, 1 Cunningham Square, Providence. 865-1631. shepard@providence.edu. The Trevor Project: The only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBT youth. Also offers social networks. (866)4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386). thetrevorproject.org. University of RI LGBTIQ2: Alumni association. 874-5808. gsimonelli@uri.edu. URI LGBTQ Center: A cultural department for students, faculty and staff. Florence Badejo. 874-2894. Youth Pride Inc.: Support, education & advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 13--23. Tues. -- Fri. 2 -- 8pm. The Way Out peer support group Thurs. 4pm. Gender Spectrum support group Tues. 4pm. Visit our website for full calendar of events. 743 Westminster St., Providence. 421-5626. info@youthprideri.org. www.youthprideri.org.

Support Groups & Social Services Abuse Victims and Survivors: Support on phone for LGBTQ victims & survivors of partner abuse. Confidential peer-led groups. Hotline: (617) 742-4911. TTY: (617) 227-4911. advocate@tnlr.org. Adoption Options: Non-sectarian help. Jewish Family Service, 959 North Main Street, Providence. Contact Betsy Alper. 3315437. www.adoptionoptions.org. Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center: Offering resources for victims of domestic violence. 723-3057. www.bvadvocacycenter.org. Child & Family Services: Counseling, young parent support, adoption, more. LGBT groups beginning July. Open six days. 66 Troy St., Fall River, MA. (508) 676-5708. www.childfamilyservices.org Community Care Alliance: Stipend, assistance, training provided by Family Resources Community Action. 235-6095. www.famresri.org. Compass: FTM trans info, support and social group. Boston first Thursday 7-9pm. compassftm@gmail.com. www.compassftm.org. Family Service RI: Training, stipend, support provided for nurturing families. Family Service of RI. Contact Gregary Wright. 331-1350 ext. 3305. www.familyserviceri.org. Foster parents needed: For newborn to age six. 276-4300. www.childrensfriendri.org. Crossroads RI Hotline: (800) 367-2700.

Day One: Counseling & legal aid for victims of sexual assault/ abuse & incest. 24hr hotline. (800) 494-8100. 421-4100. www.dayoneri.org. Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County: Support, court advocacy, counseling, safe home, info for women and men in abusive or controlling relationships. 24hr free and confidential helpline. 782-3990 or toll free 800-494-8100, www.dvrcsc.org. Gay Fathers of Greater Boston: Support. 738 Main St. #323, Waltham, MA. (781) 333-8429. info@gayfathersboston.org, www.gayfathersboston.org. Gay Men’s HIV+ Social Group: Third Tuesdays, 6 -- 9pm. Refreshments. Seven Hills Behavioral Health, 1177 Acushnet Ave., New Bedford, MA. Info: Lenny Amaral, 508-999-4159 or email lamaral@sevenhills.org. Gay Officers Action League (GOAL)/New England: Law enforcement officers (sworn & civilian), fire, rescue & publicly employed EMS. Confidential. P.O. Box 171587, Boston, MA 02117. www.newenglandgoal.org. On Facebook at NewEnglandGOAL. Gay Share: Coming Out? Gay men’s support group. No fee. Wednesday 7:30pm. Contact Tom or Mike. 369-9448. info@ gayshare.org, www.gayshare.org. LGBT Grief Support: Meets regularly at Hope Hospice, 1085 No. Main St.., Providence. Rebecca Sizelove, 415-4301. Helpline for LGBT Youth: Trevor Helpline and social networks for crisis and suicide prevention. 24/7. (866) 4-U-Trevor. HIV+ Gay Men’s Support Group: Refreshments served. AIDS Care Ocean State, 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. 5213603. New members contact Scott. 640-3108. Kathys’ Group: Free support group for lesbians with cancer or any life-threatening illness. Partners and caregivers welcome. Meets monthly in Providence. 888-5KATHYS. Mantalk of S.E. Mass: Socializing and discussions for gay, bi and curious men. Confidential. Drug and alcohol-free. 18+.Thursdays in Taunton and first Tuesdays in New Bedford. 7-8:30pm. mantalksouthcoast@yahoo.com. MentalHelp.net: National directory of inpatient treatment options for those with substance abuse problems. www. mentalhelp.net/care/substance-abuse/ri/ Partner Support Group at Fenway Health: A ten-week support group with the purpose of building community and connections for anyone who identifies as non-trans, ages 18+, and is in a relationship with a trans* person(s). 1340 Boylston Street, Boston, MA. Contact Sarah Eley, LICSW. 857-313-6551. seley@fenwayhealth.org. PFLAG (Parents, & Friends of Lesbians & Gays): Attleboro Chapter serves Southeast Mass. Third Wednesday 6:45 p.m., Second Congregational Church, 50 Park St. (side door). email pflagattleboro@gmail.com. Greater Providence Chapter serves all R.I. First Wednesday at 6:45 p.m., Met School, 325 Public St., Providence. 751-7571. PFLAGprovidence@gmail.com. www. pflagprovidence.org. Project RENEW: Support, employment services, HIV prevention for male and female sex workers. Amos House, 415 Friendship St., Providence. 272-0220. Trans support group meets Thurs. Info: transoutreachpwr@gmail.com.

Options | May 2017

Queer & Trans Thursdays: Space for LGBTQ and heterosexual youth (24 and under) of color to foster coalitionbuilding and organize to address intersections of oppressions. 6-8pm. 669 Elmwood Ave., Rm. B7, Providence. www.prysm. us. 383-7450. Rape Crisis Center for S.E. Mass: New Hope, Inc. Advocacy, shelter, services for domestic abuse survivors. Hotline (800) 323-HOPE. Office (508)226-4015. RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 24hr helpline: (800) 494-8100. 467-9940. RI Rainbow Support Group: For people with disabilities who identify as LGBTQ. Last Tuesday. 98 Rolfe Street, Cranston. 6-7:30pm. Contact Ken Renaud. 785-2100. Samaritans: 24hr hotline for suicidal, lonely, despairing, depressed. (800) 365-4044. 272-4044 (RI only). www. samaritansri.org. Seven Hills Behavioral Health: HIV Prevention and Screening. 310 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 2351012. T.W.I.S.T. (508) 672-0378. Sexual Health Education & Advocacy Program: HIV, sexual wellness, domestic violence risk reduction. Free, confidential, bilingual (Spanish). No caller ID used. Calls blocked for safety. 861-6191 ext. 121. Sojourner House: Call for confidential support group. Support, shelter, advocacy and information for people in abusive relationships. Including specific LGBT services. No caller ID used. Outgoing calls blocked for safety. 24hr helpline. 765-3232. 861-6191. Office 861-6191. www.sojournerri.org St. Mary’s Home for Children: Sexual abuse treatment for children. 450 Fruit Hill Ave., No. Providence. www.smhfc.org. Adam Cable, 353-3900. Straight Spouses: Groups and online support. www. straightspouse.org. TGI Network of RI: Support, advocacy for transgender, transsexual, gender-variant and/or intersex people. Borderlands peer group 1st & 3d Tues. and 1st & 3d Sat. of the month. Location & information: 441-5058. info@tginetwork.org. www. tginetwork.org. Trans* Partners New England: Gives romantic partners of transgender people a confidential, safe space to explore the impact of a loved one’s gender identity on their relationships, and to connect with other loved ones of transgender people. First Wednesday 6:30-8:30pm. Providence. Location unpublished for privacy. partners@tginetwork.org. Trans* Youth Family Allies: Support for gender-variant and transgender children ages 3-18. info@imatyfa.org, www.imatyfa. org. Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA): Growing organization to address the concerns of fair treatment of transgender veterans and active duty service members. www.tavausa.org. Women’s Resource Center of Newport and Bristol Counties: Offering services to victims of domestic violence. 846-5263. www.wrcnbc.org.q

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PCA is PROUD to share its new home with RI Pride and Options Magazine. Now located at 1055 Westminster Street, Providence. For appointments, call 401-272-2288. www.providencecommunityacupuncture.com

Options | May 2017

Poetry The Gay Intrepid Ship of Glee

By Felicia Nimue Ackerman The Gay Intrepid Ship of Glee Will keep you merry on the sea. All gender types will be secure As we go on a thrilling tour. So bring your spouse and have no fear. Your union will be welcome here. And if you hope to find romance, We offer you a perfect chance.

Options | May 2017

STAY CURRENT FACEBOOK.COM/THEVILLAGERI

FRIDAY, MAY 5TH AT 8PM

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HOSTED BY SPECIAL GUEST

SATURDAY MAY 6TH AT 8:30PM

SIRSY FRIDAY, MAY 12TH AT 9PM

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SATURDAY MAY 13TH AT 8:30PM

BECKY CHACE BAND FRIDAY, MAY 19TH AT 9PM

MICHAEL GIAMMARCO

MAY 20TH MIDNIGHT HONEY SATURDAY AT 8:30PM Options | May 2017

WEEKLY LINEUP WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

TRIVIA AND MUSICAL BINGO

SHOWTINIS AND KARAOKE

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Saturday, May 20 7:00 PM Skyline at Waterplace, Providence

A Black & White Affair: Options Magazine’s 35th Anniversary Event

A CELEBRATION

Open bar from 7-10 p.m. Food catered by Russell Morin. Providence’s newest event space, Skyline at Waterplace.

HONORING OUR PAST

Members of the community who contributed greatly to the success of Options will be recognized and honored.

DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY

We’re keeping the party going throughout the night! If you can’t join us for cocktail hour and the main event, consider purchaing a ticket to just the dance party.

TICKETS: $100 Open bar from 7-10 p.m. Admission to the cocktail hour, reception, and dance party. $20 Dance party admission only. TO PURCHASE,VISIT WWW.OPTIONSRI.ORG.

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Options | May 2017