BCN WEEK issue 16 by Marcus Villaca Design

INSIDEkiss y cuenta///rub-a-dub ducky///‘killer’ ILlinoisE!

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LA FATXA PA G E 1

‘LES RE-CONQUESTES CONQUERIDES’

B A R C E L O N A ’ S F R E E C U L T U R A L N E W S W E E K LY | W W W . B C N W E E K . C O M | S E P T 2 2 - 2 8 , 2 0 0 6

FREE!

ALFREDO LAHOZ

Galleons galore! The cruise liners clogging the harbor these days bring plenty of New World ‘gold’ to Spain’s coffers.

VOL 1, NO 16

T H E ‘ R E V E R S E ’ C O L O N I Z AT I O N I S S U E

!SERODATSIUQNOC¡

IN 1492 SPANISH CONQUISTADORES SAILED EL NUEVO MUNDO ON THE SANTA MARÍA, PINTA AND NIÑA.TODAY THEIR LEGACY RETURNS IN CRUISE SHIPS LIKE THESE. COLONIZATION HAS BEEN PUT IN REVERSE.WE INVESTIGATE WHAT IT MEANS TO BARCELONA.

PA G E 4

VOL 1, NO 16

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SEPT 22-28, 2006 W W W. B C N W E E K . C O M

La Cuina Guarra BY

Tiffany Carter

P R E PA R AT I O N

E D IT O R’ S L E T T E R Back in the dark days when I used to teach English, I had a student who used to spend every class talking about how immigrants are ruining Spain. They come here and take jobs. They bring crime. They milk the system. And the worst — the bottom of the barrel — were the South Americans. “Que feo!” she would exclaim. I would sit there dumbfounded, trying to bring it back to English File, quite unsure what to do with such blatant racism being presented to me in upper-intermediate English. At one point, I finally mentioned to her that I am an immigrant here as well. She shook her head and laughed. “No, you are not an immigrant. You are American!” Anyway, I gave up the class shortly thereafter. Any kind of negative feelings towards people from South America or any former Spanish colonies are so unfounded it makes my head spin. When I told my friend from the Dominican Republic that we were doing an issue on reverse colonization she immediately said, “Yo — we ain’t some colonizin’ shit!” With that in mind, we take a stab at how the immigrants from former European colonies fit back into the motherland and how it all began. We also were fortunate enough to go to Hipnotik last weekend and have an extra special review for you brought to you by Figuras-writing, beatbox-breaking Joe Littenberg. Next week: Catalan celebs. That’s right, they exist and we have them all.

Jennifer Cross J E N N @ B C N W E E K .CO M

staff Marcus Villaça foundeR / creative director Jennifer Cross co-founder / editor / publisher Lena Wiget managing / listings editor David Tressel copy editor Alfredo Lahoz photo editor Tiffany Carter proofreader / pie baker Laurent Bompard distribution director

1 Wash your sticky, musky hands.

buttery ramen for lovers INGREDIENTS

2 Packs Ramen of your choice (Try “Shrimp Flavor” Noodles or “Shallot Chicken Flavor” Noodles for irritating use of quotation marks.)

Butter 2 Eggs Gírgolas Popets (Baby Octopus!) Garlic Spring Onions Carrots Parsley Olive Oil

2 Peel and chop up a bunch of garlic. 7 cloves or so. Don’t chop it so fine it dissolves when you fry it. Chop parsley. 3 Cut the carrots and spring onions into long, fine bits or however you damn please. 4 Wash your sticky, musky hands. 5 Pour some olive oil in a pan and turn a burner on. When the oil is nearly smoking, add the popets. Fry them for about a minute then toss in half the garlic and all the parsley. Set aside! 6 Did you know that octopus are as intelligent as your average housecat? They can be trained to open jars with their tentacles. Tentacles. Mmmmmm. 7 Sauté the rest of the garlic a bit. Add gírgolas and continue sautéeing. If you were feeling fancy, you could also pour in a bit of white wine. When they are golden on their yummy little bottoms, flip them. 8 Boil water. 9 When the gírgolas are done, add the ramen to the water and sauté the carrots and onions. Both take 3 minutes, so it’s hard to fuck up. 10 Drain the ramen, put them in a bowl, and dump a big glob of butter on them. Empty the seasoning packets (and the little oil packets if they were included) on top. Stir that all up til the butter’s all melted and seasoning evenly distributed. 11 Toss in carrots and onions. 12 Fry eggs. Sunny side up. 13 Distribute noodles evenly into two bowls or, if you want to be all lady and the tramp about it, just leave ‘em in the one big bowl. Distribute eggs, octopussets and gírgolas as desired. 14 Nestle in bed with your bowl(s) like hot white grubs, entangle your limbs and nubbins. Grin stupidly at each other through greased lips.

corrections (damn!) Despite our fleet of fact checkers rivaled only by that of Condé Nast — we do make mistakes from time to time. In issue 5 we made two whopping errors which I was unaware of until the very kind bartender at Gimlet pointed them out to me one night while I was slow sipping McCallum’s and forgetting the world’s woes. 1 a Gimlet is 2 parts gin and 1 part LIME (not lemon) 2 they do not take credit cards so don’t even think about it One of the downsides of shortlisting is sometimes note taking gets a little fuzzy by the end of the night.

editorial contributors Laurent Bompard, Tiffany Carter Jacinta Collie, Isolda Déulafeu, Elliotsdöttir Prada García, Alfredo Lahoz, Lee Lancaster Joe Littenberg, Nicole Nelly Zara Patterson, Zachary Shtogren Spencer Tarp, David Tressel, Lena Wiget

advertising sales Joe Littenberg joe@bcnweek.com Claire Gunter claire@bcnweek.com Harmony Barry harmony@bcnweek.com Alida Zapata alida@bcnweek.com Michael Roberts michael@bcnweek.com Dom Composto dom@bcnweek.com Kade Agan sales/marketing intern Anna-Maria Masci sales/marketing Intern

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Guiri Trivia! 36.5% of the total number of South American residents in Spain have community regime status,that is to say,they are relatives of nationals from countries in the European Economic Space or the relatives of Spaniards.

wikipedia

T H E ‘ R E V E R S E ’ C O L O N I Z AT I O N I S S U E

bringin’it back to the motherland CAN SPAIN HANDLE REAPING WHAT IT SOWED? Starting in 1492, when Cristóbal Colón finally got his pesos to sail the ocean blue, Spain started down a path of imperialism that led to one of the most extensive empires in history. Colón personally didn’t do much serious land grabbing in the Caribbean (he actually had no idea where he was), but, by 1790, Spain claimed all of the Americas south of Canada with the exception of Brazil, bits of Africa, and a strip of the western Pacific from the Philippines to New Guinea. Over 19,425,000 sq km was under the crown’s control. Spain’s many goals included spreading Catholicism, restraining Islam, and

It’s payback time! Don’t ever confuse Columbus’ voyages of discovery with the Colombian disco hit “Voya, Voya!”

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undermining other European powers. But the economic goal was simple: to establish colonies that could funnel natural resources back to the peninsula and give Spain money and prestige in Europe. Those crafty conquistadors knew there were vast reserves of gold, silver, and hardwood, especially in the Caribbean and the Andes. But the problem was how to get all the damn stuff out of the interior and into the galleons. Noting the colonized always outnumbered the colonizers about a billion to one, a wise conquistador said to another, “Hey, someone should talk to HR in Seville. I bet we could force these

Zach Shtogren

brown people to cut down all this forest.” Indeed, slavery, especially in resource-rich areas like the Andes, was widespread and slave rebellions surprisingly few. But, by the 1600’s, diseases like smallpox and influenza began to wipe out so many of the indigenous slaves that Spain began to import African slaves to maintain the labor flow. Of course, it wasn’t all work and no play. With thousands of men far from the reach of their señoras, hanky panky spread like a hen party on a Friday night. Taking wives and concubines was a method of social control but also produced a new mestizo, or

approached numerous times as a prostitute by Spanish men. She explained that mafias in the DR regularly offer rural women house cleaning jobs in Barcelona, but, upon arrival, pimps force them into sexual slavery. The women have to pay back the costs of their plane fare and visa with interest accruing the longer left unpaid. Doña Lucia readily acknowledged the negative image the Latin sex trade gives to the Dominican community but still lamented that Spanish men often see only a sudaca for sale when they see a Latina. On whether she plans to settle permanently in Barcelona or return to Hispaniola, Doña Lucia became philosophical and sighed, “Todo el mundo quiere volver a su patria.” Certainly, “colonists” like Doña Lucia are filling some very uncolonial jobs. HR tells me quartermaster and exchequer have been filled, but butanero, vendero ambulante, and prostituta are still open. Although these jobs may involve low pay, long hours, poor conditions, and risk of disease, they are still far better than what’s available back home. But, with only 24% of the city’s Dominican population having completed their secondary education, according to a 2006 Ajuntament study, the low-grade jobs, the ones Spanish and Catalans no longer want, are really the only ones available to immigrants with little education. Nor are things improving much on this front. Doña Lucia complained bitterly about the city school her daughter attended that encouraged underperforming immigrant students to choose a vocational program over pursuing their bachillerato. Cristian Humberto, a 32 year-old Argentine living in a fashionable apartment in Ciutat Vella, is a part of a significant return migration from his country where up to 3.5 million Spanish refugees fled Franco’s persecution in the mid 20th century. In 2006, there were 13,265 native-born Argentines living in Barcelona, almost all of whom claimed a majority Spanish ancestry. “We really identify with Europe in Argentina, not with the rest of Latin America,” he

Of course,it wasn’t allwork and no play. With thousands of men far from the reach of their señoras,hanky panky spread like a hen party on a Friday night. Taking wives and concubines was a method of socialcontrolbut also produced a new mestizo,or creole,culture, not quite Spanish and not quite indigenous. Dominican Republic, Morocco, and the Philippines. All or parts of these countries were once Spanish territory, and, not surprisingly, all have significant populations in Spain, and especially Catalunya, today. The colonial period also left obvious places for Spaniards to immigrate in more recent times. A significant exodus occurred throughout the 20th century when over 5 million Spaniards—far more than were ever involved in the “Golden Age” of colonization—fled Franco’s dictatorship for the Americas, especially Chile and Argentina. Finally, Spain’s colonial history has given those on the right all the rhetoric they need to call the recent wave of immigration “reverse colonization.” Conservatives bashed the immigrant problem in the recent Estatut debate, while others seemed to cheer with Manu Chao-inspired glee at Catalunya’s becoming truly multicultural. Well, which is it? Is return migration from former colonies tit-for-tat revenge in the making? Or are we on the verge of a funky new mestizo culture? A ver. Doña Lucia first came to Barcelona in 1990. A native Dominican, she wanted to see the world outside of her country. She did not have plans to move to Spain but was impressed with the level of development here, at least compared to the Dominican Republic, whose economy was deteriorating quickly with constant gasoline shortages and 20-hour blackouts. In 1994 she decided to come definitively to Barcelona, a move facilitated by the common language and family members already in the city. Though she owned a salon in the Santo Domingo, the only work available to her in Barcelona was house cleaning. She put in long hours and eventually was able to open a small salon in La Ribera where I met her earlier this month. “Yeah, I feel a little integrated here,” she confessed as her empleados waxed eyebrows and straightened hair, “but this is really their [the Spaniard’s] country.” Though she is regarded as a successful business owner in the Dominican community, she has virtually no Spanish clients or friends and has been

says, “I left thinking I would be able to communicate freely in Spain, but there were people who completely could not understand me.” Cristian speaks with a relaxed accent, pronouncing his ll’s and y’s the Argentine way, as sh’s. He first worked illegally in Andorra and the Balearics but, searching for something more stable, settled in Barcelona and now has a contrato fijo at the Port Olympic casino. Though making far more than he could make in Argentina, he said he only feels “integrated in an economic system,” not in Spanish society, and he too has experienced some racism in Spain. “There are people who have told me ‘why don’t you go back to your country,’ but, if they thought about it for a moment, they would realize the only reason I am here from my country is [because of] their country.” Isobel Martínez, spokeswoman for the Riberabased watchdog group, SOS Racisme, confirms that immigrants face institutional and street-level discrimination in Barcelona. Martínez received 151 denunciaciones of racism in 2005 but speculates many more are left unreported. SOS tracks everything from neo-Nazi attacks in Sabadell to real estate discrimination in Ciutat Vella, catalogs victims by their country of origin, and files the claims with the Ajuntament. Legal aid or psychological support may follow depending on the case. She concedes that many Barcelonans feel that increasing numbers of immigrants threaten their catalanitat, an expected reaction from a group whose culture was shat upon for most of the 20th century, but that this is no excuse for violence or discrimination. In an age when people, at all levels of society, are moving about the globe with increasing ease, when Swedes and Brits are taking over vast stretches of the Costa del Sol (talk about colonization!), and when Spanish and Catalans are snapping up cottages in the Scottish highlands (ditto!), is it reasonable to expect immigrant groups to readily integrate? Especially since it remains to be seen if they will settle here permanently, how obligated are their Catalan hosts to

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creole, culture, not quite Spanish and not quite indigenous. In heavily colonized places like the Dominican Republic, mestizos took a place just below native Spanish administrators in el sistema de castas. Native Tainos and African slaves took the bottom. Significantly, this equation between European blood and societal privilege, to some extent, still defines power in former colonies today. Those with lighter, more Spanish skin tend to get all the opportunities. Those with darker skin don’t. By the mid 19th century, New World colonies, fueled by upstart leaders like Venezuela’s Simón Bolívar and democratic ideals from Europe and the United States, were kicking the Spanish out one after another. Political consciousness was on the rise and slavery was abolished, but ruling mestizos and creoles kept the sistema de castas that Spain introduced. Even Bolívar wrote: we [Creoles] are neither Indians nor Europeans, but a species midway between the legitimate proprietors of the country and the Spanish usurpers. In short, Americans by birth, we derive our rights from Europe, and we have to assert these rights against the rights of the natives, and at the same time defend ourselves against the hostility of the invaders. Calling yourself a species is the basis for a massive inferiority complex. But this complicated mix of resentment and thanks-for-bringing-us-out-of-theStone-Age-guys dependence defined the relationship between an emerging Latin America and their European “usurpers.” Thus, the legacy of the Spanish empire was not a pretty one. Millions of people got shafted due to financial interests and political competition. Spain became muy rico by raping the Americas’ natural resources. But this is European History 101, no? The colonial period ended clean and simple, right? Not quite. One of the legacies of colonization is that it left the citizens of former colonies an obvious place to immigrate: the mother country. Peru, Argentina, the

la madre que nos pariÓ

FOR HER, WE ARE LIKE A FAILED ABORTION BY

Elliotsdöttir

Growing up in Latin America — especially in an upper-middle class family — you are always told stories about your Spanish roots. There is usually a member of the family brainwashing you: getting you confused about your real identity with stories about history, tangled up facts, and twisted thoughts of your pure-whiteHispanic lineage, which you are taught to look up to as “La Madre Patria.” The social structure implanted 500 years ago in the Dominican Republic says that if you are of white European descent you are educated and wealthy, therefore being of Spanish European descent in Latin America may work in your favor. Sometimes it even seems as if being white is like having a bachelor’s degree! On the contrary, being of African or native descent is linked to poverty and poor education. Me, I’m fucked — my parents come from both sides of the pond. Coming to Europe (la cuna de la civilización — yeeaah right), in the first days I saw so many similarities between the Spanish/Catalan culture and my own Dominican culture. Being here actually felt a little bit like home: the tiny grannies and their endless after-siesta gossip, the sayings and superstitions, the dirty streets and old houses. The mutual influence is unavoidable. Between 1503 and 1660 Spain dominated the Americas, robbing us of 185,000 kilos of gold and 16,000,000 kilos of silver. During the franquismo period, when the Spanish needed refuge, we were there with open arms giving them land, jobs, and social status. In more contemporary times Latin America has given Spain her unwanted children. We always help them out. Here on the mainland, however, something funny happens when you start to speak: they act like they don’t understand two shits of what you just said, even though they speak the same language!! I want to scream, “I’m speaking Castellano, COÑAZO!” When I go out at night, Spanish people hear the accent and go crazy and start flirting like nobody’s business, trying to get into my panties. When its time for me to get a job, it’s like I’m a green monster from outer space. Yet I refuse to lose my Latino Dominican spirit (firy, feisty, and spicy). This is my pride and glory! We Latinos come in big groups, and to a lot of people here I am no longer Dominican, I’m just another Latina. The assumption that many people here make is that because I’m Latina I probably came here to clean houses or take care of old people or be a prostitute (that is what they want us for anyways, to exploit us). So I ask myself, is THIS what we’ve been calling “MADRE PATRIA”!??? Why do we even bother to call it Madre? We are like a failed abortion. Still now, the Spanish empire lives on in my country. The big companies are all owned by Spanish families: all those fancy all-inclusive hotels people are always talking about, supermarket chains, farm owners, insurance companies, banks, and our very defective power company are ALL SPANISH and only investing among themselves, and where does that money end up anyway? Yes! Here in Spain, my friend. And then they say, “Go home!” Or they even have el morro to ask why we are here?? There’s one thing they have failed to learn from ruling us: we do NOT give up and as we always say, “AL MAL TIEMPO BUENA CARA!”

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Guiri Trivia! 13.8% of the population (219,941 people) in Barcelona are immigrants. The majority come from (in order) Ecuador, Peru, Colombia,Argentina, Bolivia, Morocco, Italy, China, Dominican Republic, France and the Philippines.

wikipedia

dedicate resources to them? “Very,” answers Martinez. City-provided immigrant assistance and autóctonos sensitized to the reasons behind immigration by organizations like SOS are the best preventatives against discrimination and misunderstanding. As for the future, the almighty euro will keep Barcelona’s cultural soup extra chunky. Martin Baldwin-Edwards of the Mediterranean Migration Observatory writes that “economic attractiveness and general bureaucratic incapacity to operate efficiently” will continue to draw immigrants here. As long as developing world economies stay weak, migrants will come by means fair or foul to work and send money back to their struggling families overseas. In 2003 alone over ¤706 million in remittances went to Latin America from Spain. It was gold booty 400 years ago, and it’s euros now; people will go a long, long way to get ahead in this world. That’s one thing that definitely hasn’t changed. Although increasing immigration in recent years might inspire socially conservative Barcelonans to feel colonized, let’s remember this wave of immigrants isn’t sailing in on galleons. They are more likely flying coach on Aerolíneas Argentinas or Iberia, or, worse, sitting in a cramped patera from Mauritania with a 100 other sub-Saharans. They are not brandishing cutlasses or firing canons upon arrival. They are more likely staring bewildered at the TMB map and taking the wrong train. Finally, they are not overburdening the city economy. They are actually strengthening it by accepting a host of jobs that would be left vacant if they weren’t here. Colonization was a race for power and prestige, and the country that led that race 400 years ago is the same one dealing with the fallout from it today. I’m still looking through my history books for conquistadors as victims of educational disenfranchisement, sexual slavery, job discrimination, and racial epithets, but I haven’t found anything yet. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough.

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R O U N DTA B L E S LOOKING FOR PEOPLE IN NEED OF CLOTHING AND BEER! Believe it or not we care about you faithful BCN WEEK reader. In our quest to become the most widely read and sought after English publication in BCN we need to know what you think about us. We are seeking 21 people to join the BCN WEEK roundtables. In exchange for your time and tender love we will give you an American Apparel T-shirt, beer and an evening you won't soon forget. To join the roundtables email jenn@bcnweek.com.

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que diCES?

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Have some ‘Que Dices’ you would like to share with the rest of us? Send it to quedices@bcnweek.com

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KISS + CUENTA A SEX ADVICE COLUMN BY

Jacinda Collie

PIZZA & SALADS / TERRACE SUN & SHADE / “TAKE AWAY” MON–FRI 19:30-1:30 / SAT 12:30-1:30 KITCHEN OPEN NON STOP How u feelin J momma? Got a personal issue I want to run by you. I wanted to hit u on the phone—Skype, right, from the BKLYN—but yo’s ho-ass Editors would not pass me the J momma’s coordinates in Mexico. Some punks, word. Check it, I got this thing I wanna do wit my jump-off b4 we do the boomboom, right? Now, inspiration comes at me from the Almighty and my kid from on the block, right? We call him da Hook, right, like da Captain Hook, cuz wit the hos, he warmin it up in her front door, right, and then he put his thumb or pinky or something in the back door. Like a hook, right? Straight kingpinnin, right? I feel it, I feel it, but, truth, I don’t wanna scare my JO or make her hit de blast-off b4 the chili dawg sees some action. Got some tipz for my hook? You my queen-bee, J. R-E-S-P-E-C-T to you in Mexico. captain hookalike Dear Capt. Hookalike, Thanks for your captivating question. I’d like to invite you to Barcelona, Spain, to learn European love-making techniques and employ some out-ofwork English teachers. As for your query, you say you to want to be like your friend Hook but don’t want your girl sending you back to Neverland. No fear! As your Almightily inspired sexcolumnist, I say give that technique a whirl. There was nothing Tinkerbell liked better (Peter Pan was cute and all but Hook was where it was at). So to keep your jump-off from jumping off the bed, I’d start by slowly fingering her in a manner she is accustomed to by you or one of your many homies. Using the magic lube dust might be a wise idea, since you plan on going for the pirate’s booty on this occasion. Once you see she is getting worked up, go for the ol’ one-two pinky up the ass. Every girl likes a little surprise! Now, keep it really gentle, and perhaps just play around her anus with your finger to get her used to the sensation. Once she seems receptive then do a slow penetration. This should get her into it without feeling embarrassed. If you don’t want that ho to blast off, then you should keep away from the clit. If you do that she’ll probably have a good time, but not too good of a time. When your chilldawg ass is ready to get his, just retrieve the hook, turn that ho on all fours, and take her from behind, but remember that donkey-punching is never a nice surprise.

Dear Dear Jacinda, I am writing from the terrace of my new apartment. I share it with 3 other nice people all around my age (25). So far, things are going well, but I have a question that perhaps only you can answer. My room is rather small and equipped with, yes, a cama sencilla. So, I am dating this guy and hope to someday end up in his pants, but I am painfully aware not only of the size of my bed but the fact that it makes a lot of noise. How can I manipulate the situation so that we can hit it up in style and not wake up the neighborhood? twin bed squeaker

My Twin Bed Squeaker, Believe me, you have not seen Miss Jacinda’s bed: mattress, slab of board, IKEA shelves to sit it on—did I mention I was also without a bedroom door all summer? Is this why my roommate fled back to Denmark? Anyway, I was obviously not as considerate as I will be to your roommates. You didn’t mention young Jordi’s living situation, but if his place is an option, then that would be the first thing to consider. If, on the other hand, you’d prefer not to practice Catalan at the breakfast table with his whole family then you need to get your bed in order. Squeak and jump on the mattress while your friends give you the low-down on your decibels. Perhaps some music is all you need to drown out the humpty dance. Or you could simply wait until the next time the roommate you share a wall with gets drunk and won’t hear/remember anything. If music won’t help, and your roommates are way less drunk and slutty than you, then you could think about a trip to IKEA, because your mattress probably has lots of other nasty reasons to be replaced. Don’t you want at least something Jordi lays on to be a virgin? If that is out of budget, attempt some DYI repairs to remedy the problem. As for sleeping, let’s just say spooning can be quite cozy for a whole evening. Now, go show that twin bed who the sex goddess of your barrio is!

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LA FATXA BY

Isolda Dosrius Déulafeu

les re-conquestes conquerides I see two txitxarel.los, well I imagine them. The Catholic Kings. A very very intelligent King, a very very clever Queen. They put the basis to the latest, and the only one, Spanish Empire, and its subsequent failure. First they turned the Jewish people out from Spain, later the Arabs. You’re lucky, guiris del meu cor, they don’t reign now because if they were alive, you would be out of here. With no Jewish, Castilla lost a big Culture and a big money resource. With no Arabs, Castilla lost a big Culture and a big engeenering resource. In the name of God they reconquered the Only One, Great and Free Castilla. Between these sacred intentions, they promoted a civil war in the Corona of Catalonia and Aragon, 10 years of war.

Before the Catholic Kings, Iberia was a great example of convivència i respecte.Later, under their reign,you had to be made of “pura cepa castellana” if you want to live here.

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Carrer Mirallers amb Carrer Banys Vells You do like a lot this zone, it’s the Borne... The Catholic Kings gave him a lot of power before the discovery: Colom would be the Governador, l’Almirall i el Virrei of the discovered earth. But when they realized the real dimensions of tragedy, because it was a real tragedy to give to a Catalan that kind of power, they broke the treaty and forbad Colom, after his three expeditions, to return to America. They changed the names and the origines of all Catalan involved people: Colom to Colón, Bertomeu Casaus to Fra Bartolomé de las Casas, Pinçó to Pinzón,... They changed the names of places: Palos (Cádiz) instead of Pals (Empordà),... They wanted to delete the Catalan track. But Bertomeu

Before the Catholic Kings, Iberia was a great example of convivència i respecte. Later, under their reign, you had to be made of “pura cepa castellana” if you want to live here. For example, if you were Arab or Jewish, you had, in front of everyone, to renounce your earth, your roots, your religion and, si molt m’apures, your parents. And if it wasn’t enough, you had to implore you wanted to be catholic, to be a part of the Iglesia Católica, Apostólica y Romana. Then, your soul would go to the heaven, with no doubt! (Who is asking for the foreigners’ rights, nowaday...?) And the ones who were born in the Península, posem pel cas the Catalan people, who didn’t want to be under the centralist and absolutist political system of Castilla, who didn’t want to renounce their own democratic system, these ones were condemned and banished. Look, look the Castilian way. You know Cristóbal Colón was Catalan? Don’t you? The name of his family was Colom Bertran, they lived in

Casaus years later wrote and denounced the genocide... Neither the posterior King Felipe II, with their censure, could silence this Catalan voice. I don’t know how, neither why, but the Catholic Kings sowed very well the separation spirit in the fields of the Corona of Catalonia and Aragon. This spirit promoted the subsequent wars in the next centurys. If I think well, I prefer to preserve the Castilian history... they wanted to delete us without realising that they hung proudly in their shoulders one of the worst episode in the European History: America’s Discovery or genocide... Madrid don’t complain about the quantity of sudacas who are invading the Spanish streets. Don’t forget, Madrid, you were the first ones. Note: The History is written by the winners, if there are winners in the wars. I like to draw my own point of view.

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Beaaaatch! BY

Spencer Tarp

I love going to the gym. No, I’m not a muscle-Mary, and I wouldn’t even call myself buff or ripped. I’m very normal and go to the gym only to stay fit, trimmed and to look healthy. To me, a guy with massive muscles is a guy who has wasted a lot of valuable time. Hobby, yes, essential component to a healthy lifestyle and body, of course, but spending enough time and money to bulge one’s muscles beyond nature’s intention is more than ridiculous, it’s dumbing. My favorite part of my workout, however, has nothing to do with weights or sweat. It’s the shower. I go to a very posh gym with wood grain lockers, towels, and individual glassfrosted shower stalls. Apart from the endless supply of high pressure hot water that I very gluttonously stand under for way too long, I discovered a particular stall, by accident, that has its own unique benefit: there is a support pillar that requires the glass partition to be joined on either side and this juncture leaves a gap that is about 5mm wide. As I said, I found this stall by accident so you can imagine my surprise when, as I was showering that first time, I noticed, through that tiny little gap, the guy in the shower next to mine lathering himself into a soapy fervor for my benefit. The gap isn’t big enough to see a face, or let’s say it’s small enough to hide what you don’t want

revealed, but what one can see is sometimes quite impressive. This isn’t the place to get into details, and I doubt you need them to understand what I’m getting at, but let’s just say that I always shower in one of two stalls to finish off a nice workout. I love the shower bit. I think it’s fantastic. The best part is that I don’t go to a gay gym, far from it; it’s a very straight gym, a lot of suits and corporate types. This anonymous shower behavior only proves the point, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, that there’s a bit of fag in everyone. I don’t suggest that these guys are all straight or that they all want to come through that gap for a full on soap attack, but what is obvious is that there is a quiet secret everyone knows but no one wants to talk about. That’s fine with me. The modern day sexuality scale is lubed and vibrating and a lot of heteros are allowing themselves to investigate their personal call of the homo. The way I see it, the more people play on the other side of the fence, the sooner we’ll stop wasting so much time and energy on hateful and archaic religion-based morality and judgment. Maybe one day we’ll get it that we are simply sexual, and that preference and curiosity are two very different things and one doesn’t preempt the other. For the moment, however, I’m just proud to do my sudsy part.

L THE

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eat your gutvik, juan!

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sin pan amb tomaquet BY

Gaby Strelzyn

Before eating in this establishment you will get to see the twice-a-year changing exposition it has. The great thing about this exposition is that you can buy everything that’s on display! That’s not to say you’ll have something unique, but it will be priced very reasonably. Same goes for the food, although for Barcelona their cuisine is very unique. Unfortunately, the Rösti relleno de salmón (3¤) is sold out, so my choice today is their specialty: Albóndigas Swedish style. They arrive quickly, and I decide to hit the salad bar. I pile the 1¤ bowl up with couscous salad, which turns out to be very tasty. The albóndigas are nice as well—topped off with the typical brown sauce and some cranberry salsa too, the perfect combination. All this and a water costs me ¤5,70. If you’re on a really tight budget, hold off on your order until you hear little Juan of 5 years wanting to be

picked up from the playground (ballpit? ball-playland?). Get over there, play the parent, drag Juanito to the restaurant and order the Ménu infantil biológico for him (you). Your stomach will be filled with pasta bolognesa, a refresco and yoghurt for only 1¤! Don’t forget to sprinkle some free queso on your pasta (or to bring the little boy back to where you borrowed him from). The staff is very friendly, although service is kept to a minimum, but with these prices who cares? During your meal you can even watch a video on a big screen or play some sort of board game. If after your meal you still cannot get enough of the albóndigas, you can buy them here to take home as well. Some final advice: try to avoid Saturdays as they get really busy.

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the week BY

Lena Wiget

AND

Zara Patterson

good, feel-good session, check out Luz de Gas at 22:00h where the band Val la Pena plays mellow jazzy tunes. The 5¤ entrance will help the NGO ASIDH (Asociación de Salud Integral y Desarrollo Humano) maintain two hospitals in rural areas near the capital of Mozambique. CCCB @ MONTALEGRE 5 // APOLO @ NOU DE LA RAMBLA 113 // LUZ DE GAS @ MUNTANER 246

The highlight of this weekend and undoubtedly of Barcelona’s party calendar is La Mercè. A staunch outdoor music line-up and such a freakish array of dragons, clowns, correfocs, giants and magic — it’ll be like the city’s been swallowed in one big acid trip. So with more culture than you can shake a stick at, the grain thus has been sorted from the chaff for the best possible horario de fiesta.

thursday /// sept 21 BCN-mp7 presents seven sessions of the creation and mixing of and debate about contemporary popular music, devoted to reflection on the current music scene, and with concerts to establish new points of fusion and friction between musical genres. Today’s session discusses the thin line between sponsorship and patronage and the function of music schools. It starts at 19:30h and is followed by a concert with Mastretta and Ajo at 21:30h. Entrance costs 2.50¤.Sala Apolo invites Los Coronas, Quique Varela and DJ Eneida Fever at 22:00h. Las Coronas are representin’ Hispanic Surf. Beginning as a humble danzarama1.qxd

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friday /// sept 22

For the weekend, the BAM stage in the Plaça de Joan Coromines is given over to the contemporary strain of pop known as Indie, while the 2nd Meeting of Mediterranean Festivals and Music is putting on a seminar for music professionals and concerts at Rambla del Raval within the framework of Mercè 2006. The line-up: Plaça Joan Corminas: 21:30h Mendetz, 19:30h Mazoni (Catalonia), 20:30h Dorina (Spain), 21:45h Peter Von Poehl (Sweden), 23:00h cover band, they’ve morphed into a band with a custom classic surf sound Danielson, 00:00 The Hidden and flamenco and Rock and Roll influ- Cameras Rambla del Raval: 20:00h Ritmo Cartel, 21:30h Barry, 22:45h ences. On the same scene, Gecko Turner (Funky Rock), 00:15h Quique Varela is one of the people Desert Rebel (Bedouin Electro Beat). responsible for the successful club Avinguda Catedral: 22:30h Pitingo Kicks and Chiks in Madrid. A regular (Flamenco pop), 00:00h Maâlem el at parties from the Mod 60s right up to the 80s garage explosion, this vinyl Kasri + Trio Bozilo Parc del Fòrum BAM / MTV: 00:30h Outlandis, collector has a weakness for Peter Sellers and North American literature. 02:00h Tote King (Spain), 03:30h Saïan Supa Crew Parc del Fòrum Since you’re already at Apolo, why not stay on for a night of Superfusion Movistar: 00:00h Max Punk & Sören, 01:45h Matt B: Saffer / The Rapture, Special to celebrate the 4th birthday 02:45h Gucci Sound System (power of Powder Room? A heartwarming pop/dub/jam), 03:30h Loo & Placido, blend of funk, hip-hop and reggae (remix DJ duo). The highlights: On with a New York groove is to start at Friday, get fed at the bread and 0:30h with DJ Center (NY) and DJ chocolate fair from 19:15h at Palau de Paulao (Brazil). Cost: 10¤. For a do-

La Virreina (Ramblas/Plaça Reial). A parade of Dragons and Beasts of Fire starts at 21:30h at Plaça San Jaume and again at 22:00h followed by a “Xambanga” of Giants (Plaça Reial). Nigerian/French Desert Rebel will be shaking the Rambla del Raval with dub/dance. Get to Tote Kings (Spanish hip-hop) at the Parc del Fòrum (Featuring nearby chill out tents until 5am). If you want to spend the weekend looking upwards, fireworks start at 22h every night on Barceloneta beach. And on Saturday and Sunday (10:00h to 14:00h, 16:00h to 20:00h), you can watch planes making pretty patterns in the air display over Marbella beach. Finally, the Parc de la Ciutadella is the place to be for curing clown phobia, as it hosts Circus de la Ciutadella every afternoon of the weekend.

saturday /// sept 23 The line-up: Plaça de Joan Coromines: 19:30h Sara Dan Pi Up (Spain), 20:30h Spleen (France), 21:30h Facto Delafé (Jam/Rap/Chill), 23:00h Bauchklang (Austria) 00:00h Edan Rambla del Raval hosts a plethora of Afrobeat, Dub and Reggae: 20:00h Naki, 21:30h M’Barca, 22:45h Couscous Party, 00:15h Watcha Clan. Avinguda Catedral: 22:00h Nit Techari, 22:45h Ministry of Dohl 23:30h Ojos De Brujo (+ invitados) (bangra/hiphop/flamenco) Parc del Fòrum BAM / MTV: 00:30h The Pinker Tones (electro rock), 02:00h Naiwa Nimrin Parc del Fòrum Movistar: 00:00h Undo, 02:45h Anders Llar. 03:30h Uusitalo aka Luomo (Finnish techno) The highlights: The best cure for no sleep or a

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HOME COOKING

ELISABETS ELISABETS, 2

TEL. 934 17 58 26

For good Barcelona-style home cooking and surly but efficient service, go to Restaurante Elisabets. For 8.50¤, you can order the menú del día, which consists of a first course (salad, gazpacho, fideuá, esparragos, etc), second course (filet with French fries, pig’s feet, grilled squid, etc), and dessert (hint: go for any of the three mousses, yogurt being the best). The portions are plentiful and it all tastes just like your yaya made it just for you. While waiting for the plentiful portions, enjoy the prime people watching in the bar area. Most of the men there have always been there, and will always be, for they have staked out a slot machine and are not giving up until they hit the jackpot. Listen to their salty talk and enjoy their antics, and know that the meal you are about to enjoy would remind them of their childhood.

DANCE HALL

ENFANTS DE LA GUÀRDIA, 3

TEL. 677 54 36 22

There is something about International top 40 that makes a person want to get their freak on and luckily Enfants knows that. This unassuming-from-the-outside Raval discothèque houses a cavernous hall that spills out into multiple dance floors, a well stocked bar, minimal lighting, and some of the loudest and most fun pop and dance music available today. The DJ mixes it up well, making sure you hear both “SOS” and “Antes muerta que sencilla” in the same hour and getting in just enough hip hop to assure you a few mystery dance floor humpings throughout the night. The hectic dancing only lasts until 5:00, so forget about just standing off to the side waiting to check up on it. Slam that drink and bust a move!

GUIRI CENTRAL

L’OVELLA NEGRA SITGES, 5

TEL. 933 17 10 87

The true test for the multi-lingual lies not in the Escola Oficial d’Idiomes, but inside the cavernous “L’Ovella Negra” where you can meet the most foreign of foreigners over a pitcher of beer or sweet sangria, the latter of which is of dubious effectiveness. At l’Ovella, everyone is always talking, and table-jumping is rampant. It’s pretty common to spot the typical guy who sits down at different tables, striking up conversation, and then

drinking from the communal brew without paying, then moving on to the next group. No one seems to mind, though, which says a lot about the place. Anywhere generous enough to make the common moocher feel at home is a happy place, which makes l’Ovella the Disney of guiri bars. Just remember that if your gallon of sweet sangria is promising to come back up, hit the streets. It’s all fun and games until someone gets puked on.

A B OVE B C N

MIRABLAU PLAÇA DOCTOR ANDREU (TIBIDABO)

TEL. 934 18 58 79

Have you been here so long that you have a hankering to be on the outside looking in? Then put on something tight and black, and go change your perspective at Mirablau on Tibidabo. Aside from the glittering, postcard-esque view of Barcelona (note the abrupt break from city lights to pitch black sea), you can enjoy all things not Barcelona, a prime example

being the Amaretto Sours that will go down smooth and sweet and then propel you onto the downstairs dance floor where the reigning pijos repeat the same set of hip-hop academy inspired moves, even if it is trance night. Consider it a day trip, the success of which depends on your arriving on the FGV and going home in a fat black Mercedes Benz with German plates.

W / R O M A N WA L L

LA GRANJA BANYS NOUS, 4

TEL. 933 02 60 75

Sit down next to the Roman wall (in the back on the left) and order el que vulguis, because aside from the fantastic music (jazz, blues, anything tranqui), fin de siècle décor, and the crew of Amelie-esque cambreras, La Granja offers options. Dozens of hot chocolate and coffee choices (best of both worlds: mini xoco amb café), teas, juices, and a few literati alcohol selections (vermouth or tinto), are complimented by a limited but delicious food menu of crêpes (get the special) and sandwiches. Of course, with over 100 years in business (yes, the fridge and all décor is original and still fully functioning), they have everything as close to perfect as possible, which is why customers love it while here and miss it when gone. Just take a look at the postcards on the wall near the waitress station. The customers are just as awesome as the menu, and though people do come for intimate conversation and prime thinking time, you can often strike up a conversation (try out your budding català—there are mostly locals), or just kick back and read a selection from their eclectic library. The important thing is that you enjoy yourself, and really, how could you not?

BCN

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the week continued

hangover is obviously to celebrate the devil with others at the “Diada del Diable” (11:00h, Av. Catedral). If the occult isn’t your cup of joe, there is a “Matí de Falcons” for those who like falcons or for those who like to look at people who like falcons (11:30h, Plaça San Jaume). A pyromaniac’s delight is the “Tablada de Correfoc”—a combo of bonfires and live music (17:00h, Plaça Reial). The Correfoc fire parade starts at 20:30h at Porta Cambo and moves along Via Laietana. Those who missed out on the typical contemporary Catalan Rock-mix on September 11th at Arc de Triomf will get another chance to see the local band Kumbes del Mambo in action (18:00h, Passeig de Gràcia). Finally and not to be missed are Ojos de Brujo, a highly recommended band of folk fusion playing at Av. Catedral. It’s sure to be a dark, dark night of Mexican Heavy Metal at Razzmatazz (Sala 2). Brujería presents the “Don Quixote Marihuana Tour 2006” and Hora Zulu at 20:45h. Entrance: 23 Euros.Mecal 2006, Barcelona’s international short film festival, begins today at 21:00h at the Barceloneta beach (until 1st October). A total of 54 hrs of film will run for a full nine days of viewing pleasure and includes fictional shorts, documentaries, experimental shorts, plays, clips and advertising from 40 countries.

sunday /// sept 24 The line-up: Plaça Joan Coromines 19:30h The Linn Youki Project (Spain), 20:30h Nisei (Spain), 21:30h Nisei, 22:45 Hanne Hukkelberg (Norway), 23:00h Neko Case (USA) 00:00 Spleen (Chamber noir jazz) Avinguda Catedral: 22:30h Papa Wemba (Afro), 00:00h Bukky Leo & Black Egypt (Afrobeat) Rambla del Raval: 18:00h Pepep I Marieta, 20:00h Eduard Iniesta, 21:30h Carmen Paris, 22:45h Akli D (Algerian Pop/Folk), 00:15h Louise Attack. Parc del Fòrum BAM / MTV: 00:30h Standard, 02:00h Infadels (Indie/Electropop), 03:30h Dirty Pretty Things (Indie/Alt.) Parc del Fòrum Movistar: 00:00h Baby G, 01:45h Sutekh, 02:45h Moderat (Swedish Hardcore), 03:30h Juan Atkins Fàbrica Damm (Rosselló, Eixample): 18:30h G-21 KM, 19:35h Antònia Font, (Electro/Pop), 21:05h Sidestepper (Latin/D’n’B/Tropical), 22:30h Asian Dub Foundation (Punk/D’n’B/Dub) The highlights: The day could begin with a strong cup of coffee whilst watching some giants (giant puppets of course) at Plaça Sant Jaume at 11:00h. If you stay past noon you’ll see the Castellers making human towers. At 18:30h the Cavalcada de la Mercè (Horse Parade) also takes place in Plaça Sant Jaume. In Plaça del Rei, turn up at 22h for a “Night of Magic.” Yes, magicians. Do not miss the BAMM-DAMM at the Antigua Fàbrica Damm in Rosselló, for rocking rocking Asian Dub Foundation. And the screening of first class international short films continues at the beach of the Barceloneta from 21:00h onwards.

monday /// sept 25 Between 11:00h and 14:00h the Circ De Les Musaranyes will be performing all types of circus acts in Plaça Joan Coromines. If you missed all of Sunday’s human castles, hurry to Plaça Sant Jaume for noon. At 13:00h there is another horse display (Minorca) from Portal de La Pau to the Av. Catedral. The radio station 40 Principals celebrates its 40th birthday in the Parc del Fòrum from 20:00h (and then all night long) with special (and gratis) performances from El Canto del Loco, Pereza and M-Clan. And the short film festival Mecal 2006 has moved to Apolo for today (until 27th September). The screenings start at 17:00h and continue until 00:00h. Entrance is free.

tuesday /// sept 26 With support from Mandalas (20:45h), Hot Chip will be playing at Bikini at 22:00h. For a kind-ofquiet, geeky-looking bunch of Brits, these guys really know how to whack out some electro pop tracks, and even if it’s only to hear their hit song “Over and over,” which you know and love, or even if you think you don’t know it, be prepared to come out smiling. Entrance: 18¤ Condición de extranjería is a series of recent independent films showing at the Caixa Fòrum that shows how fiction becomes a mechanism for understanding reality—particularly the reality of immigration. The film Struggle by Ruth Mader, on screen at 19:30 and 22:00h in the presence of the director, focuses on life along the Eastern border of the European Union. Admission: 2¤. Political cinema is returning once again to Barcelona with the second Festival de Cinema Polític that starts today. The invited country this year is Poland, but the films come from all over the world. On the line-up: 10 feature films, 3 collective films and 7 short films shown for the first time in Spain. A highlight will be En la piel de Jacques Chirac by Karl Zero and Michel Royer. Screenings take place at the MACBA, the cinemas Floridablanca and Casablanca and FNAC Triangle. For further details see www.cinemapolitic.com. BIKINI @ DEU I MATA 105 // CAIXA FORUM @ AV. MARQUÈS DE COMILLAS 6-8

wednesdat /// sept 27 Not done with short films yet? Catch the last of this month’s Future Shorts program of bizarre, funny and shocking mini stories from eight international directors, including Cheval 2.1, the story of a man who wants to be a horse (21:30h, Local Bar) Admission free. Or watch the last session of international short films at Sala Apolo starting at 21:00, also with free admission. LOCAL BAR @ ASES 7 // APOLO @ NOU DE LA RAMBLA 113

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reviews

8/29/06

8:50 PM

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Spanish and English Spoken / All Custom Design

cuz we don’t do pre-views

a musical homage ILLINOISE /// SUFJAN STEVENS /// ASTHMATIC KITTY RECORDS 2005 BY

Nicole Kelly

In the winter of 2004, young songwriter Sufjan Stevens holed up somewhere in New York with travel guides, trivia books, the poems of Carl Sandburg and the novels of Saul Bellow. For four months he combined his mastery of numerous instruments (the oboe, guitar, drums and piano, to name a few) with his talent for storytelling in an effort to create Illinoise, a musical homage to America’s Prairie State and the follow up to 2003’s similarly conceptual Greetings From Michigan. On Stevens’s whimsical, meandering journey through both cornfields and metropolises, he drops in on the various players in his own Midwestern milieu: Mary Todd and the “Seers” Tower, as well as childhood neighbors, memories and vacation spots. As if written for the stage rather than the stereo, a recurring combo of strings, choir and vibes lends a unifying force to the twenty-two tracks, among which

“Jacksonville,” “They Are Night Zombies” and “Come On! Feel the Illinoise!” particularly resonate. At the heart of the album, the sparkling “Chicago” is easily the most beautifully composed. There are fewer elements that bind The Avalanche, the likewise themed album of “outtakes and extras from Illinoise” released this year. The lyric title track, originally intended to form the center of the Illinoise project, unfortunately never made the final cut. It, along with fifteen other unreleased, unfinished, edited and rearranged works, has ended up here. Like the three alternate versions of “Chicago” included on The Avalanche, most songs have their counterpart on Illinoise, but together they fall short of creating the cohesive end result that the earlier album achieves so well. Thoughtful, playful, and complex, Illinoise is a true tribute, as captivating as any Founder’s Day play.

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tranzmarikabollo BY

SEPT 14

Jill Martin

The opening party for this alternative gay video festival was hosted in the Raval, and its public stood like a mix between an okupa social and a trans-punk beatnik smoke-out. The live shows and short video projections all touched on similar themes: repression, renewal, and empowerment—standard fare at any alternative buffet. The first live performance was of a man fighting his way out of a box and then later playing with fire; the second was of a man who ended the show by cutting himself with a razor, superficially. There was lots of phallic imagery alongside fierce gender-bending and role-defining androgyny—on stage, on screen, and in the audience. There was not, however, anything new or specifically fresh. There was no genius. No shining light of inspiration. In fact, maybe it was just boring, with the same old players, the same old problems. There was nothing—no idea, frustration, fear, or confusion—that I haven’t seen presented before in a better, more expressive manner. But is that what is most important? Should genius be a daily requirement? No way. This video festival was fun and nothing more. It allowed its creators focus and provided a platform for creation. It was cool and cool’s good enough for me, especially given the fact that the gay platform here in BCN is so fucking boring and commercial with its beauty standards and attitudes that are equally flat and dumb. I wasn’t able to attend the two days of video screenings at Hangar in Poble Nou, but I would have liked to. If genius wasn’t on screen, there was certainly its hope in the sense of community one felt as a member of the audience. BCN

Week

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harvey redux DOWN AND DIRTY PICTURES /// PETER BISKIND Ostensibly a fascinating insight into the shady machinations of the US indie-film sector during its 90s heyday, Biskind’s follow-up to “Easy Riders, Raging Bulls” is really the story of one man: Miramax head-honcho Harvey Weinstein. Ruthless and shrewd in equal measures, Hurricane Harvey tears through the book leaving chaos and devastation in his (sizable) wake, the list of people wronged or humiliated by him quickly building into a veritable who’s who of Beverly Hills. Time and again, the same basic plot is rehashed: supposedly “independent” director delivers film, Harvey calls for cuts and rewrites, director balks, Harvey applies thumbscrews. At this point, one of two third acts can be played out. In one, the director refuses to budge, in which case the film gets “shelved” or “buried” and is never heard of again. Alternatively, s/he relents and the altered picture is released to great acclaim, more often than not grossing way more than

Lee Lancaster

expected. This sixth sense of what will sell, along with a willingness to go out on a limb for those movies he believes in, is probably what has persuaded so many people to repeatedly put up with Weinstein’s borderline sociopathic behavior. Countless associates storm out swearing they’ll never work with the “fat fuck” again, only to sheepishly reappear a few chapters later, queuing up to get back into bed with him. In a wider sense, Miramax’s drift to the mainstream—baldly put: from “Clerks” to “Chicago”—mirrors the way in which Indiewood has brokered a fragile peace with Hollywood. For Biskind, this meeting of art and commerce basically means either big stars appearing in off-beat films (Jack Nicholson in “About Schmidt,” say) or former auteurs cashing in every now and again (see Steven Soderbergh’s “Ocean’s Eleven”). Whether that’s a satisfactory situation is obviously debatable. Unless, of course, Harvey Weinstein says otherwise.

M U S I C F E S T I VA L

a hip-hop bubble burst BY

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12/7/06

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PASSEIG DE COLOM 11

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Joe Littenberg

This past weekend, a bubble opened up in the middle of Barcelona. You wouldn’t have known it from the outside, from other parts of the city, but it opened Saturday morning in the CCCB and immediately popped, locked, broke, bounced, and spit. That’s right—‘twas a hip-hop bubble. Eastpak, San Miguel, and Pink Fish (the other, other Redbull) sponsored Hipnotik, giving local heads and anyone else feeling the bug the affordable opportunity (cinco euros for one day, ocho for two) to rap, paint, break-dance, spin, or simply listen and watch. In the upper courtyard, DJs spun on a stage in the corner while grafiteros devoted their attention to their section of one of two freestanding hexagonal walls. Closeby in the tight quarters of the C3 bar, admission was free to all interested in watching underground MCs, as long as they could tolerate the worst sound quality I’ve heard in a long time, coming out of apparently blown speakers. Props to the MCs for fighting through it. Shame on the sound crew. Downstairs, the main stage and the taped-off break-dance battle area filled the floor. Breakers swarmed it, doing what they do best — forming circles. Just playin’. Even in preparation for the eventual 1 vs. 1 and crew vs. crew battles they put on impressive displays, as observers bounced back and forth between the more-chilled-out-nice-guys-and-girls circle to the we’re-badasses-with-ourcrew-names-on-our-shirts circle. And, of course, open corners and random spaces became impromptu break spots as well — that, or bastions of herbal relaxation. Off to the right of the main hall, phat Eastpak backpack-shaped bean bags provided seating for the Playstation area, where youngins could shoot some people on the

streets of LA, do some virtual graffiti, skate like Tony Hawk, or jam over Kobe Bryant. So, that’s cool. But where was the real basketball court? And the skate park? Maybe next year. Hipnotik was filled to the brim with an expectedly young crowd, and the atmosphere was kickin’. Saturday saw, aside from the various underground acts including Welelo, a local cat, KMK, Black Bee, and many others (check out encuentrohipnotik.com), the first phases of the break-dance battles. Especially impressive was the crew vs. crew, which is undoubtedly the best possible alternative to synchronized swimming. You could almost see the invisible blows landing as one member of this crew tried to ponerse as chulo as possible in the opposition’s face. Good shit, fellas. The evening showcased various talented MCs on the big stage downstairs and still more DJs up in the courtyard. Beat Spoken put on a nice show. Later, with one of the organizers from Sonarcam on the plates, a pair of muy fluid breakers from the Circle Kings crew-danced oh so smoothly to a sweet variety of tracks, just for the love of it. Little surprise when on Sunday one of the same two, Menoh, won the solo break-dance competition. Props. Sunday also brought the freestyle battle for the MCs with the mostest. Always a crowd favorite, there is little that compares to these battles. Unfortunately for this guiri, understanding rap lyrics rapidly spit in Spanish slang is not the easiest. The rest of the crowd was certainly with it, though, which is dope because it proves good local presence and the growth of Spanish hip-hop culture. Amongst the metaphors and blatant insults, “puto Renfe, trenes no van, lo sé” was one of many a hot rhyme that got local hands in the air. Thank you, Hipnotik. Who you got next?

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Top 5 gigs of the Month BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BLACK HORSE

1_ bananarama sept 10 2_ hot chip sepT 26

room apartment next to the market and subway. Tons of light. 700 ¤. Rafa 616 560 299.

sunny room Room for rent (Urquinaona) Nice bright, fully furnished room, exterior in a comfortable flat, situated in the center. Only 2 minutes from the Metro L1 y L4. 280¤/month all bills included. simon-sparks@excite.com

Hostal Santa Anna The friendly family-owned Hostal Santa Anna is practically on Las Ramblas. The quiet, clean and well maintained hostel has 18 simple rooms with views of the street or interior. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

3_ rapture sept 28 4_ virus sept 29 5_ mogwai sept 30

Poble Nou Beach Rooms

FOR SALE BOAT LIVING Can’t afford an apartment? Buy my boat and live on it in Torredembarra marina or move to Barcelona. Includes full domestic equipment. 49,000¤.contact: sywhitesaurel@hotmail.com

POPPY NEEDS A HOME Old bike with a lot of character seeks new owner, gets you from A to B if not with a few rattles and squeeks. 30¤ only. contact: francesca.hanson@yahoo.co.uk

Poble Nou Beach Rooms is a cosy place with lots of natural light in (where else) Poble Nou. A Barcelona classic, the apartment has original ceramic tiled floors. There are 3 bedrooms, each sleeping 2-3 perons. For short-term rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Crayon Box Apartment 3.1 The Crayon Box Apartment 3.1 is the beach lovers dream, a 40m2 recently renovated apartment right on the beach, sleeping up to 6 persons. For short-term rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Hostal Els Angels

FOR RENT ROOM with views Own bathroom. Sunny big house surronded by nature. Rustic garden. 2 living-rooms. Fitness room. Internet. Privacity. Sitges 10 min. 360¤. dragonina@telefonica.net 938 968 573

BUARDILLA Atic (buardilla) near Sitges. 85 m2. Well lighted. Private garden. Suitable for musicians, artists or proffesionals. 450 ? month or price to be agreed depending on use. dragonina@telefonica.net 938 968 573

quiet apartment Private Apartment — studio, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom — up to 3 persons. Raval — quiet, air conditioning. ZSR-BA@yahoo.de

APARTMENT TO RENT IN IBIZA. 5 km to the city, in the countryside, apartment capacity 4 people. Private garden and swmingpool. Car necesary. rainbowinspain.com or info@rainbowinspain.com

GAY AND GAYFRIENDLY ACCOMMODATION IN MAIN GAY DESTINATIONS IN SPAIN. Hotels and hostels in Barcelona, Madrid, Ibiza, Sitges, Gran Canaria, Tenerife. rainbowinspain.com or info@rainbowinspain.com.

BARCELONETA Very nice IKEA renovated 1 bed-

Small, cosy, 1-star, 10-rooms hostel with a familiar atmosphere located in L’Eixample district, 10 minutes on foot from Rambla Catalunya. The rooms are basic, well-lit and sunny, with kitchen access; some have a balcony overlooking the street, and others overlook the large courtyard. 24 hr reception and laundry service for 5¤. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Hostal Fina A basic 2 star hostel located in the very heart of the historical centre of Barcelona, at Portaferrissa, the most commercial street in the city. The hostel offers basic, clean, well conditioned rooms, where you will be able to relax and rest, as most of them are interior and very quiet. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Hostal Plaza This picturesque, 2-star, 20-room hostel is located between Passeig de Gràcia, Pl. Urquinaona and Pl. Catalunya, in the 1st floor of a modernist building. In the 1st floor, the hostel offers common areas, such as a bar serving drinks and breakfasts with plasma television, and a lounge with sofas and a quieter atmosphere inviting to read and relax. In addition, here is an Internet service for the clients. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Hotel Travessera The Hotel Travessera 2 star hotel located right next to Gaudí’s lovely Parc Guell. Hotel Travessera has been recently refurbished and has

23 well-equipped rooms with en suite bathrooms, air conditioning, heating and TV. A good value, for reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Hostal Las Flores The Hostal Las Flores is a cosy family-run hostel located right on Las Ramblas. This quaint 1 star hostel is an economical choice, with 22 rooms on 4 floors. Almost all have access to a shared bathroom, except one double room which includes a private en suite bathroom and has a view of Las Ramblas. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Apartamento de la Paz The spacious 100m2 Apartamento La Paz has a 30m balcony stretching around the building and looks out over Las Ramblas and Port Vell. The apartamento can sleep up to 6 people, and is located on the first floor (no lift access) with lots of natural light. There are 3 double rooms, 1 with 2 single beds, 2 rooms with 1 double bed each. For holiday rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Hostal Ballestero A modest, well-maintained, 2-stars hostel of 26 rooms located near Meridiana Avenue, on the corner of Fabra i Puig Avenue, close to the commercial centre of Heron City. The hostel is situated in a 5-floor building with lift. Not especially charming, but it does offer clean, well-maintained rooms. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

BARCO Paula I Have an original experience on the Paula I sailboat (not a houseboat), or as we like to call it the “floating apartment,” located in the Port Vell. The boat can sleep up to 6 people, with 3 cabins with double beds. Watch the curious smiles of your friends when you tell them you’ve stayed on a 40 foot sailboat (not for sailing). Not many people will be able to say they spent their Barcelona vacation on a luxury boat! For short-term rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Crayon Box Apartment 2.1 The Crayon Box Apartment 2.1 is a 40m2 private apartment located on the beachfront of Barceloneta. This newly renovated apartment can sleep up to 4 people in 2 double rooms, one with a large double bed and another with bunk beds. A sofa bed sleeps one more, which is located in the living/dining room which also has a TV and balcony. The kitchen has all the amenities and there is also a full bathroom. The apartment is equipped with heating and air conditioning. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Hostal Boquería The Hostal Boqueria is a newly renovated hostel right on Las Ramblas, opposite the lively atmosphere of the Boquería. 15 neat and tidy rooms with TV, air conditioning,

heating and private bathrooms, this is a fairly standard hostel: 2 single beds and a sink in the room. Good value accommodation right in the centre of Barcelona. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Hostal Lesseps A modest hostel placed in an old building with a beautiful entrance door, in the popular Gràcia district, an area full of live with a special charm, which still keeps its village atmosphere. It is located a 15 minutes walk to the famous Parc Güell and Passeig de Gràcia. The hostel offers simple, clean rooms; but do not expect a design decoration. However, all of them are equipped with a complete bathroom, and TV. There are double rooms with 1 double bed or 2 individual beds, and triple rooms, which are more spacious. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

BARCO Déjà vu Oceanis 36cc The Déjà vu is a gorgeous 36 foot (11 metres) cruising yacht moored in the marina Port Vell. A Jeanneau Oceanis 36cc, it was built in 2003 and waves the French flag. Outfitted in cherry wood, the boat is equipped with modern comforts, such as satellite TV, kitchen, full bathroom, towels and bed linens, and even slippers in case your feet get cold. Sleeps up to 4. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

you ask for a more central location? visit www.barcelona30.com for reservations.

Arc de Triomf Room Short-term rental in a double room for 1 or 2 persons with en suite private bathroom and TV in gorgeous shared apartment. apartment is right by Arc de Triomf metro station (line 1) and Renfe regional train station. Visit www.barcelona30.com.

Hotel Climent The 1 star Hotel Climent is located on the Gran Via in a 7 storey building with 5 rooms on each floor. The rooms are neat and clean, with minimal decor. They have an en suite bathroom, heating, TV and telephone. All rooms are exterior, with natural light, and are sufficiently soundproofed with windows with double paned glass to guarantee a good night’s sleep. The hotel is well-maintained and is wheelchair accessible. Breakfast included. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Pension Cortes Pension Cortes is a basic, clean hostel located in beautiful old building on Gran Via. Rooms are clean and cosy with single beds. Although the rooms overlook the street, it is relatively insulated from street noise. Metro station Urgell. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Apartamento Picasso 32 Up to 5 of you can stay in the 50 m2 Picasso 32 Apartment smack in the middle of the historic and yet trendy district of Born. It has two bedrooms, one with a single bed and the other with two singles. The living/dining room has a TV and 2 sofas, one a sofa bed which sleeps two. The kitchen is fully-equipped, as is the bathroom. A small balcony gives a good photo-op of the gargoyles from the building in front, not something you wake up to every day. AC. For holiday rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Levante Apartament M1 A recently renovated, 95m2 apartment with an excellent location, which can accommodate 4-8 persons. Located in the heart of the historic Barri Gòtic, it is a basic, cosy apartment, decorated with classical style wood furniture. It offers 3 bedrooms: one with 3 individual beds, one with a double bed, and the third with 2 individual beds. For short-term rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Travessera Apartments A private, welcoming apartment with daily cleaning service and towel/linen change located inside a 1-star hotel, next to Hospital Sant Pau. Sleeps up to 3 persons. For short-term rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.

Hostal Rembrandt Hostal Rembrandt is a clean, wellrun 28 room hostel in an unbeatable location on Portaferrisa. Can

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WANTED Experienced CHILD-SITTER 6 h a week: Mon-Thurs 16:30-18:00 Poble Nou Young native British / USA srudent. Easy job. Good pay Tel: 93 266 40 39 / Mr. Koper, contact

english teachers Barcelona English Academy requires full time experienced teachers for 2006-07 course. TEFL qualification, experience with kids and enthusiasm essential. Spanish a great asset. Please send letter&CV to: nicama@tele2.es

bike needed Any type can be interesting. If it’s old and not damaged — perfect. If it’s a bit more modern, ok! But don’t want to pay more than 100¤. schwester_polyester@yahoo.com

TV DONATION I would like to get a — colour or black and white — TV donated for my room for the coming Winter to keep updated with the domestic and world news. Has someone got a spare one? I feel like in a shell when I learn the daily news. I would be very thankful. mineral_moon@yahoo.ca

children playground Looking for, or to start a playgroup for children in Diagonal Mar/Villa Olimpica area. English, Russian, and Spanish speaking. Interested email: keyian@hotmail.co.uk.

AND SERVICES FOOTBALL TEAM 5-a-side football. Friendly, informal games. If interested in playing, contact me at alan.moore@auna.com"

spanish classes Qualified teacher. Best references. Private or 4 people groups. All levels. Also business Spanish. María dragonina@telefonica.net 938 968 573

Classes of Russian From an experienced teacher and translator from Moscow for highlymotivated english—speaking people. Contact: arsbrush@yahoo.com

VAN AND DRIVER FOR REMOVALS AND CARGO TRANSPORTATION Inexpensive, safe and flexible. Any day, any time. Barcelona / Catalunya. 647533344 / 933291363 www.vanbcn.com

MASSAGE EXCHANGE Seeking to start a small group of people doing bodywork at any level and willing to exchange sessions for the joy of it. I do Hawaian Lomi Lomi, Ayurvedic Yoga, Reiki and Metamorphic massage. galileanin@gmail.com

tarot reader TAROT, international clairvoyant... DAVID. clairvoyant, tarot cards, psychic, crystal ball, palm readings, david has the true gift of reading your future. David at 678378802

FOOTBALL LEAGUE New 11-a-side football team starting in the Barcelona International League. Interested in playing each Saturday? All nationalities welcome. Email uws@dial.pipex.com

I SAW YOU Did u see someone you like? Too shy to say it to their face? Then BCN WEEK’s ‘I SAW YOU’ is for you! Be sure to tell us who you are and what you saw when? where? why? email or contact detail required. BANG JOB Pretty girl from Woodgate? Met at AYS, I threatened to Bang you up, you cussed my mum abundantly. Lost my phone that night. raivanaport@hotmail.com

BONGO YO You with the bongo drums. I saw you in Citadilla Parc on Thursday night. I know you saw me checking you out as I followed you to the smoke shop. Meet me there this Thursday at 8 if you wanna bang on those things.

NO MAMES!!! You: Chilango in the green Tshirt from Independence Day. Me: The I Heart DF shirt. You apologized to my boyfriend for hitting on me. How about we give you something to apologize for? Meet me in front of the Catedral at 10:30pm on Tuesday.

SING ME A SONG I’ve seen you singing on Fridays at the Wooden Spoon. I think you’re gorgeous and only come to the pub to listen to you. Are you single? I’m a bit shy but would like to talk to you. If you see this keep an eye out for a girl with long black hair and a glass of white wine.

NAUGHTY LIBRARIAN? I saw you looking at a copy of Naked at Hibernian last week. You were wearing a black skirt and cowboy boots. I’m the blond Australian guy who was trying to not stare at you. Drop us an email if you want to talk books.

CHEERS You sang at the Absenta last Sunday and were amazing. I had no idea a skinny little white girl could sound like that. Are you single? Send me an email and let me know if you’ll be singing again

WANT TO DANCE? I saw you shake it at Palacio de Salsa and can’t get you out of my head. You were all hotpants and cornrows. I asked for your number but I don’t think I got it right. Email me if you want to groove someone.

GIVE IT BACK Okay, when I called you a selfcentered, childish, spoiled bastard (in the literal sense of the word) I might have been overstepping my bounds a teensy bit. Still that’s no reason to keep my John Mellencamp CD. Give it back. straypuppy@gmx.de

I CAN’T DANCE I see you in the gazebo during tango class at Ciutadella Park. You’re the only one without a partner. I like your red shoes. I can’t dance, but I can drink coffee. How about you? T2anno505000@yahoo.com

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