Looking back at myself in the mirror

ElenaTeodora Chiujdea

As we have come to the end of another academic year, whether you like it or not, the melancholy hits you. You would think you get used to the idea of leaving, of moving and changing but you never do. Trust me, I am in my second year and although the sight of the Founders Building will greet me as I step back onto campus for my final year before graduation, a summer away seems like an eternity. So, be it your first year or second year like me or maybe you are the ones saying goodbye to us this year, I will take you through what I have learnt about myself as I look at my own reflection.

First year started out with an introverted girl who had no idea how to be alone, how to stand on her own two feet without having parents or family so close by to cushion the loneliness. I wish I was an extrovert, able to go out and immediately make friends with flatmates, join societies, and meet people from my course. That is what you should do, if you have not already. You know what they say, dress for the job you want, not for the one you have, or fake it till you make it. I had to warm up to the idea of living alone and started out by learning how to cook. I don’t want to brag, and my mum would probably disagree, but I have grown into a cooking expert. Next step: taking myself out of the box. So, I joined a few societies to explore my interest in photography and games society to reminisce back to childhood when board game night was a must in our house. Of course, writing for Orbital was the hobby I wanted to nurse into a career after my undergraduate and masters, forcing myself to put my writing out there for the world to see. And I did! I made enough friends to keep myself busy when the homesickness hit. I’m not going to lie, you will fall out with people, the stress of exams and making sure you do well will follow you around like a shadow. The cherry on the cake is needing to find housemates for your second year, or the so-called highest pressure of your first year. I stretched myself thin and had a week left to find the friends I would spend the next two years with and luckily, I did.

With a year ticked off from my undergraduate degree, I came back for my second year, surprisingly leaving my parents even more melancholic for the days when I needed them at every step. I was being moulded into an adult without realising it. For now, I still feel like an impostor grown-up, but my second year of studies took me even closer to being a ‘real adult’. First, I moved into the first house I ever rented, rather than staying in halls in a somewhat limbo state between being a teenager or an adult. You will have to learn how to pay bills, and with inflation hitting hard this year, it was a rough road to drive through. To name a few, my housemates and I dealt with short circuits, heating and electricity not working when we needed it most, and needing to find yet another place after rent prices skyrocketed. My advice would be to start looking early, earlier than you would think necessary. I am a sucker for a pros and cons list, and those will be your best friends when searching for a house and learning what you need or what you want. But as bad as the place might be, the people living with you are the ones that will make it worth it. So, pick them wisely. My second year also meant working at a part time tutoring job, juggling responsibilities with studies and thinking about what comes next, whilst also paving the way for my third year. A third year that so far looks like it should be smooth sailing.

So, if I was to talk to the person I was two years ago, I would say a few key things. Act like the confident independent person you wish to be, and you will become that person without even realising it. Do not let people push you around. Not everyone will like you or be your best friend, but that is ok. Being a people pleaser is too consuming of a job anyway. And as much as you want to jump into the near future, into a time when you will have your dream job and dream home, for now you are still a student. Take it one step at a time and do not look back. You need to let loose and have fun a little. Everything will be fine!